The Phoney & Call-y Podcast

You heard right, Pho-Cal Heads. This old pod is movin' on to quieter, less-audible pastures. It's proven too much for Johnny's delicate system, and he's told Tony at the worst possible time! Johnny apologizes. Tony accepts. Even with its somber tones, this episode does not lack a description of Tony's fulsome toilet leavings. It is still an episode of The Phoney & Call-y Show, after all. Outstanding finances are ironed out, the merch is sold off, and the audience is treated to one, final, undeserved dressing down. Then, Tony contends with an epic Johnny's Game where all of Johnny's remaining questions are disposed of. As the receiver is laid down in the cradle, for the last time, our hosts feel immense gratitude for all those who took the time to listen…and searing contempt for the many more who did not. Now, if you will, please remove your Bluetooth headphones, go out into the world, and cough on someone. We love you. Goodbye. This episode is sponsored by Trade Coffee.Get $30 off your first order plus free shipping at drinktrade.com/phoney.

We start with some real, nice energy and momentum. The babies sing a little. Then it all hits a brick wall when Johnny holds forth on his ramen lunch. Who cares, Johnny?! Tony talks about his booster experience, which yes includes anal gel! Which I think has been discussed in like four or five episodes now. Tony does an impromptu and FREE ad for the coffee company that, up until now, has been happy to pay to advertise. Then we get into proper etiquette at Duane Reade and how to make a nice, homemade bleu cheese dressing! Tony gives great plugs, and Johnny displays his dirty water bottle! This episode is sponsored by BabbelGet up to 55% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com/phoney.   00:40:52:01

Johnny has gotten the new COVID booster. And it has provided him with firsthand knowledge of the mysterious “anal gel” that Tony is always talking about. Tony feels vindicated. Johnny feels dirty. They discuss Tony's recent health ordeal, his ongoing battle with his live-in insects, and there's some confusion over the name of the Auntie Anne's pretzel franchise. Then, the simply-effervescent Naomi Ekperigin comes on, clears up the pronunciation of her last name, and immediately wants health advice from the lads. Naomi, it should be mentioned, is recording from a safe house, having fled her husband who, despite his years of diligence, has come down with COVID. Johnny is quick to remind everyone that contracting the virus instantly makes one stupider. No one likes to hear that, but they cannot refute it.

The boys are ready to record. There's only one problem…they don't have a guest! They happen to be chatting with pod-fav Gil Ozeri, and they think, “Why don't we muscle him into being a guest again?” So they do! They rope him into recording, last minute, and blow a big hole into the middle of his busy day! And Gil delivers, yet again. He quick-scarfs some eggs, and is ready to insult Johnny's grandfather, judge Tony for his grape preferences, and talk about his lusty youth as a gas station attendant in the West Bank! The trio trade near-death experience stories and a brand new, never-before-seen dimension of Tony is revealed! When it comes time for Johnny's Game, the contestants aren't satisfied with the standard 3-question format and demand more!  This episode is sponsored by Trade Coffee and Better HelpGet $30 off your first order plus free shipping at drinktrade.com/phoney.Go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month

O momentous day! It's the 50th episode!!! And guess what? It's never mentioned once. The hosts forgot! Luckily, they do remember to talk about their massive shits and whether it's okay to touch squirrels. Oh, and Johnny's new duvet cover has arrived…if anyone's still interested in that plotline. Jeff Hiller joins the party, and he seems somewhat interested! They discuss Jeff's LONG long-distance relationship with his husband, his hit new show Somebody Somewhere, and how tiresome it was to do improv with straight men. (Present company…excluded?) Siren sounds blast into Jeff's apartment, and it becomes clear that his window is open! In New York! Recording a podcast! Tony wins another Johnny's Game, and then he and Jeff make a tentative plan to get coffee.

Wee oo wee ooo! It's a medical emergency! John's father is in the hospital, and that means two things: The boys are very concerned, OBVIOUSLY. And Tony has to say “I'm very sorry” to Johnny, in a sincere and solemn tone. Johnny laps it up! Then comedian, podcaster, and John's-cousin Rob Stern comes on. He, OF COURSE, is also very concerned about his beloved uncle. Perhaps even more-so. Growing up with multiple siblings seems to have invested him with a sense of empathy and familial duty that Tony & Johnny, the products of solitudinous childhoods, appear to lack. They talk about their shared grandmother's creepy house, and then Rob shakes off his empathetic concern just long enough to insist that the boys play a promo for his upcoming podcast, The Rob Stern Show. Check it out! This episode is sponsored by Babbel and Better HelpGet up to 55% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com/phoney.Go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month.

The boys begin with some clutch accent work, then get into what good drivers they think they are. Listeners are encouraged to take a thorough self-inventory and decide whether or not they are a shitty driver. Johnny brings up his shredded comforter, believing the topic will be interesting. Tony maintains a good face but honestly seems a little bored by the topic. There has, after all, been a lot of bedding talk, on this podcast. When Andy Daly comes on, he and Johnny discover they both have the same microphone! They go over the free audio equipment they've received during the pandemic, the budget woes of their respective TV shows, and Andy's belief that he could beat a police interrogation. After two straight weeks of guests not enjoying Johnny's Game, Andy puts in a tremendous showing, and we're back on track! This episode is sponsored by Trade Coffee. Get $30 off your first order plus free shipping at drinktrade.com/phoney

Tony is glistening. He's comfortable to let Johnny believe it's sweat from his toils, but really he's just gotten out of the shower! Johnny is behind on his Zoom updates and makes some brilliant observations about the usage of multiple decimal points in software versions. Then, in a 2nd Fourway segment, co-hosts of the podcast Keeping Records Shelby Wolstein and EJ Marcus come on to talk open concept design, piss strength, and their relatively-new friendship! Tony grapples with the disappointment of yet more guests who have not seen For All Mankind. And Johnny is gutted by a second week in a row where Johnny's Game has dispirited the guests. Everyone says a favorite pastry, and we're out.

It's hot! Should Tony leave his air conditioner running? Dare he? What are the implications for the audio quality of the podcast? The answer MAY surprise you! The show For All Mankind is discussed, and Tony's telepathic connection to his own feces appears to be growing stronger. When prolific character man James Adomian comes on, he and Tony fondly remember their time “serving in the trenches” together on the Trump Vs. Bernie tour. Tony recommends For All Mankind to James. And then James has recommendations of his own! The typically-lively James seems thoroughly enervated by Johnny's Game. He's not particularly critical of it, but his general lowness of spirit is, perhaps, the most scathing indictment of the game, thus far. 00:30:32:00

The pod's abuzz because Anthony's dad Larry is coming on today, and his tech specs need to be juuuuust right! Tony is rankled that it's not societally acceptable for men to wear makeup. We get the sense that the boys think there's something controversial about this topic, but we're not quite sure what it is. And then, Tony's daddy Larry is here! He's got a blurry background and needs some more help with his Zoom preferences, but aside from that, he's a jovial, effusive, and supportive sweetheart who has played music all over the world and has some fascinating and uplifting philosophies on integrating art and life and manifesting your own successes. He is NOT a fan of Tony & Johnny's constant cock-talk. Although he, himself, is a bit of a filth-mouth. And, after all the technical help he's received, Larry Atamanuik holds the record as the “First professional recording artist on the podcast who was unable to press record.”

We open on a hot, desert soundscape. Heat waves undulate off the baking asphalt. The driving roadhouse rock swells, as a leather-clad dog enters frame. Now that's how you start a podcast! After they settle down, the laddies jaw about how satisfying it is to return from a trip to find a nice stack-o-mail in need of sorting. Then, the wondrous Emily Strachan hits the scene and divulges that she's a writer who hates writing…and she's pregnant! Emily admits to blithely jamming fruit stickers down the garbage disposal, and is eager to gripe about Gil Ozeri…who is her husband! Of course, Tony & Johnny never miss an opportunity to trash one of their closest friends. Emily is also a HUGE fan of Johnny's Game, and her contributions birth yet another exciting offshoot! See ya later, dog! This episode is sponsored by Freeze Pipe Go to thefreezepipe.com and use code PHONEY for 10% off! 

There's some disagreement between the two schmucks about whether or not they need to formally greet one another, at the top of the pod. They clearly both want to say “hello,” however. And so they do. Johnny fills Tony in on his recent air travel woes. And Tony is enraged on his behalf. Then, the devilishly-wry Mark Proksch comes on, and guess what? He doesn't like podcasts! He thinks they're a waste of time! Our hosts tend to agree. They dish on What We Do in the Shadows and determine that the only remarkable thing about Toronto is that Tony receives cheese alerts from a grocery store there. They wrap up with yet another contentious Johnny's Game, where Johnny's setups are subjected to some very unfair scrutiny by the guest.

Another breezy, guest-less episode begins with a classic jump-scare! Even more frightening, Johnny is not running the latest version of Zoom! Thankfully Tony is. Unfortunately, he's been attacked by spiders, in the night! He shows Johnny his pimply ass, as proof. They reminisce about the old HBO show Real Sex and shudder at the thought of being vacuum-sealed inside a latex sleeve. They discuss their dreams, which quickly leads to a discussion about how boring it is to discuss dreams. Johnny has to urinate very badly, but Tony won't let him leave until he answers one very important question! This episode is sponsored by Better Help.Go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month

It's a beautiful day out! After struggling to describe it, Tony admits to a near-total ignorance of visual artists. This throws the guys into a confidence tailspin, realizing they are experts in nothing. Then Mary Holland & Dan Klein squeeze in for a dual interview! Or what is commonly called a “Twinterview.” A first in Phoney & Call-y lore. All are delighted by Mary's tales of her many accidents. And Dan is confused about Tony's genetic parentage. Mary & Dan have come on to promote a joint project. But, in a stunning twist, they don't know anything about it!* *'Corked' will release on August 16th. This episode is sponsored by Freeze PipeGo to thefreezepipe.com and use code PHONEY for 10% off! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's too much nipple talk for Tony! Also, Tony has been the recipient of multiple birthday gifts from Johnny. But is Johnny really the magnificent gift-giver that Tony thinks he is? No matter! Geoff Garlock is here! He's a musician. He's a comedian. He's a prolific podcaster. And Geoff has the ability to string together music and movie references in rapid-fire rants that thoroughly confuse Johnny. It's downright Matt-Pinfield-ish! They talk about the punk/ska/hardcore scenes of the ‘90s, and how they all have trouble identifying with communities. Geoff takes Anthony to task about his 9/11 conspiracy “knowledge,” and then, at the very end of the episode, makes an admission so shocking it must be heard to be belierved! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Summer's heating up, and you can't run A/C during a podcast. So the men are hot! The fellas crunch the numbers on how many full days of recording they'd have to do to bank several years worth of podcasts. Tony says “What?” in a way that sounds gruffer than he means. And Google's AI is making them sad. Then, Rob Huebel pops in to talk about corrugated metal, disaster prep, and his brother, who is a professional pilot! The boys lavish praise on Rob, and divulge that he's such an effective straight man, it's impossible to know whether you've actually upset him. Rob, it turns out, is another one of those guests who's reluctant to give plugs, even though he's got stuff that needs promoting! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tony & Johnny are recording the podcast together, in the same room, for the first time! They quickly discover that the “play-aggression” they employ over Zoom feels much harsher in-person. They abandon it for a gentler tact and set about recounting the tale of their previous night together, at Tony's hotel. How strange it was to see each other. How Johnny was shellshocked from a discomfiting day at an animal sanctuary. How the hotel restaurant displeased and confused them. And how to properly pronounce the word “sandwich.” When Tony skillfully backs them into a Shark Tank scene, Johnny is resistant, at first. But the deal points all make sense. They steward a theoretical podcast listener across the threshold of death and call it a night! This episode is sponsored by Better Help and Freeze Pipe Go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month Go to thefreezepipe.com and use code PHONEY for 10% off!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The giggle-boys are being silly tickledicks, at the top of the pod. They titter about Harry Potter, old email accounts, and whether you have to be a hoarder to run a junkyard. Should it ever come down to it, in a survival situation, Johnny promises to kill Tony in his sleep. Tony takes umbrage at this. Then Dan Lippert swaggers in to claim the title of “2nd Guest Who's Listened to Every Episode.” The hosts are flattered and go on to grill Dan on his whole life story. Dan turns out to be a kind and sensitive soul who has a deep knowledge of the play The Crucible. Tony probes him for ways they could be running their podcast better. And Johnny is shocked to learn that neither Tony nor Dan likes breakfast pizzas. Honesty abounds! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tony is hard-selling Johnny on getting back into DayZ (a multiplayer, survival game without the speed of multiplayer, the satisfaction of survival, or the ability to accomplish anything.) And Johnny seems willing! They discuss the discomfort of participating in prank shows and the comfort of good foot care! The buddies compare foot-smoothing tools, and a brief mention of “callus dust” is all it takes to inspire one of their more-nuanced 9/11 scenes! Then, the distractingly-handsome Ben Rodgers logs on from a hotel-room-with-terrible-wifi, and the threesome gabs about Star Trek, parental discipline, and how much leeway society should give the mentally ill when they expose their genitals outside of a school. Tony tries, yet again, to bring up Strange New Worlds, but it appears he is still the only person watching it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's a congressional hearing on UFOs! Tony finds UFO speculation endlessly fascinating. But sadly, try as he might, he cannot get Johnny on board. The circular logistics required to maintain such discussions feel tedious to him. Tony cannot hide his disappointment. They do a Contact-esque scene that would make Carl Sagan feel embarrassed. And then, Neil Casey jets in out of the clear blue sky to add his own theories about the mysterious flying objects! It's one of those discussions that sounds reasonable, at the beginning, and then makes progressively less sense as it goes along. They recount the glory days of their old improv team, the strange customs that Tony and Neil shared when they were roommates, and Neil's aerobatics training…because Neil is a pilot who owns a plane! This episode is very flying-through-the-air-ish, I guess. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The cranks begin with another of their fussy, bicker sessions. Feelings are nearly hurt, but they pull back just in time and align their angst against the other members of their households who consistently fail to refill the toilet paper. Tony has experienced yet another road rage incident at his favorite intersection. Then they discuss the Supreme Court and do a very bizarre scene that hints at a deep contempt for the institution. Seth Morris shimmies in to educate the lads on his color-coded bookshelf, his latter days as a Pilates instructor, and the strange, 3rd party software he uses to record. Seth professes his love for the podcast, but admits that, if he were closer friends with Tony & Johnny, he would be too jealous to listen to it. The boys are delighted, but torn. Because they would like to spend more time with Seth. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's a Threeway all day, as Green Crewman Gil Ozeri attends for the entire session! The 3 fren-amigos work out a complex system for who has to be sweet to whom. Then, Gil steers the conversation towards a concept of his called “Sexualis,” a whimsical, psychosexual excitement one gets from simulated killing. It seems to involve a feeling of closeness and competition with good friends. There is also a sexy daddy component. On top of that, Gil is keen to know certain, specific, intimate details from Tony & Johnny's lives. Namely, how they wipe, how they fuck, and what position they like to sleep in. With every new morsel he learns, he mutters, “Yeah, this is the good stuff.” It's very strange behavior, and it's not to be missed! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Excitement is in the air, as the boys ready their podcast for the arrival of Johnny's vaunted mother, Sweet Susan! Tony's in a bit of a lather after being chided by an audience member, following a standup show. They have a little trouble switching gears, but when they do, a fictional biker gang is finally able to settle their vendetta against Tony. Then, Mama Sue arrives! The babies are so excited to see mommy that they almost forget to confront her about her wildly inappropriate behavior with John's son. They also discuss the Montessori “beans in a bowl” system, jump scares, and Susan's wildly inappropriate behavior with her own son, Johnny! Susie presides over a masterful Mommy's Game, and they make a tentative plan to all snuggle in bed together when Tony comes to LA. Get ready for a warm feeling in the cockles of your stupid heart! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Johnny's nervous to test out his new wifi network. What if it doesn't work well?! Meanwhile, Tony's fresh from the doctor where he was informed that he has perfect hearing. When Johnny tries to test him by speaking softly, the whole thing devolves into a bitter competition to see who can talk the quietest. It's a contest you'll have to NOT hear to believe! Then, they try to trick the Spotify algorithm to see if they can get slapped with a COVID misinformation warning. And THEN, John Flynn comes on to plug his new book “Baked!: Sex, Drugs, and Alternative Comedy” and talk about his seedy past as a pot cookie dealer, which is the subject of his new book “Baked!: Sex, Drugs, and Alternative Comedy!” The trio also talks about Ped Eggs, Crispin Glover, and an old NY subway experience that is so disgusting, Flynn and Anthony are still haunted by it, to this day! They reach the end of the episode and realize there have been no network connection issues. Johnny's new routers are a hit! And, impossibly, cocks have not been mentioned once! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the 30th episode! A famously important and difficult-to-achieve milestone in the life of any podcast. The triumphant hosts take a moment to “look back” at some of the classic skits, scraps, clips, & clits that have made theirs a standout among all the podcasts that debuted in the fall of last year.* Buckle up for montages, guests, gaffes, & grunts as Tony & Johnny burnish their legacy and look forward to what the next 30 may hold! *(All content is new. Please don't skip this episode because you think it's just a bunch of old stuff. It's a joke!) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do Tony & Johnny have anything to talk about anymore? Yes! They discuss the weather for a bit and depress themselves about the deteriorating environment and how horrible it will be to die of heat exposure. They reminisce about the joys of endless days spent wandering the Barnes & Noble on the Upper West Side and inevitably emptying their bowels in the children's section. Then comedian, writer, and social media sensation Blaire Erskine comes on to dish about the Atlanta comedy scene, how nice a guy Machine Gun Kelly is, and how much it sucks to get death threats online! As the episode winds down, it becomes clear that Tony (who invited Blaire onto the podcast) feels suspended in an awkward tension between his exciting new friend Blaire and his embarrassing old friend Johnny. Blaire and Johnny assure him that it's fine. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For reasons unexplained, Tony & Johnny are gone. But filling in, from the 24th century, are everyone's favorite Federation stooges, Captain Picard and Lieutenant Worf! They're the podcast's biggest fans, and they're recording on the Holodeck and beaming it back through time or something…it all sort of gets explained. You'll be satisfied with the reasoning, don't worry. Even though it's the future, they still manage to encounter Zoom issues. They also get into Klingon cuisine, Picard's mysterious bathroom incident, and how exposed they feel in Cardassian space! Then, Will Hines beams in to talk about his uneventful breakfast, how much (or little) his death would affect the time stream, and how his tossed-off, comic book podcast with his brother is an unexpected success! Worf and Picard are jealous on Tony & Johnny's behalf. This episode has action, thrills, and yes, space-degradation! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Johnny is snuggled up in his bedroom, and Tony actually thinks his audio sounds good! Did he think it was bad before? The Cozy Couple considers the joys and horrors of picking one's nose and consuming the findings. They ponder whether or not an asshole can ever be fully clean. And they wonder what the difference is between a dead-drop and a deadfall. Kelly Hudson rambles in from a road trip and immediately announces her pregnancy before delving into her experiences with past-life regression. Johnny yearns for a rational explanation for it all, and Anthony seeks to provide one with his “Node Theory of Consciousness.” Finally, they envision how calm it would feel to be a deranged, serial murderer. Much is contemplated in this episode. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The boyz are back from their triumphant trip to SXSW! They express their gratitude that they're both on the same social wavelength of wanting to hang out in relatively sedentary settings where snacks are available. Johnny's mother moved to LA while he was away, and has almost immediately committed a boundary-shattering babysitting faux pas. Tony initiates a scene that strikes right to the pith of the matter, and then Jon Daly comes on to discuss his SXSW experience, how they all barely graduated high school, and why he thought it would be easier for Johnny to order for him at a take-out window instead of each of them just placing their own separate order and paying independently. Also, Daly accidentally says “Bic” when he means “Schick,” and Johnny will not let it go. Alas, the fun must end, but not before someone pisses in a jar! This episode is sponsored by Better Help, go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With SXSW looming, our heroes discover that the payments they're receiving for the festival are being structured differently (yes, a “travel buyout” is involved). It's impossible to tell if they're being treated equally, and that's enough to unleash a tidal wave of resentments. When Johnny announces he's got a hard out, they rush a scene (that ends up being pretty good!) and then welcome comedian & writer Alison Leiby to the call. Alison helps them crunch some numbers on the festival pay dispute, and then they discover that they're all only children! Johnny's Game is too easy, but they have fun, anyway. Go to thefreezepipe.com and use code PHONEY for 10% off or shop killer four-twenty sales going on right now! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Straight away, Johnny is frozen! Can't participate. Tony fills time artfully, like the professional he is. Getting his shit together, Johnny does some limited bitching about the computer before the Vexed Varmints move on to discuss their inconsistent dental hygiene and Johnny's tendency to compare people to various other species of primate. They do a VERY unorthodox dentist scene, and then Bobby Moynihan scooches in to talk about VR, his enduring love of Lost, and his near-term plans to clear out his storage unit in NY. At halfway through, they realize Bobby hasn't been recording. T&J are stunned, but they keep their cool. A triumph of a Johnny's Game is followed by a solid wrap-up. This episode is sponsored by Better Help, go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The professional hosts of this podcast have decided they dislike guests. So this episode doesn't have one! Their relief at not having to talk to a third person leads quickly to some giddy (and yes, filthy!) improv! Tony delights as Johnny describes his long-awaited Domino's pig-out night and its related temper tantrums. Tony recounts his thrilling night watching College Jeopardy. Then, a guest doesn't show up, and in their ecstasy, the boys do another scene! They welcome the return of Andy's Lame, and then Tony hits his limit, gets tired, and they stop recording. This episode is lean, mean, and has two scenes! This episode is sponsored by Better Help, go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Valentine's Day and the bloom is off the rose for Johnny's new computer! It sucks! Our Haughty Heroes are horrified at how quickly the love has faded. Moving on from the technical issues, we learn about Johnny's successful doctor's appointment and why Tony keeps a thousand dollars worth of meat in the freezer, at all times! They perform a very romantic Three's Company scene. Then, Tony's wife, Flossie Arend, sidles in for a special Valentine's Threeway! They chat about Anthony's fascination with how similar Flossie and Johnny are, the inconvenience of other people's weddings, and what coulda been goin' on with that guy who killed his whole family! The enthusiasm wanes as the happy couple faces a very challenging Johnny's Game. For some reason, the word “apoplectic” is used like three or four times in this episode. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Johnny's got a new computer! Sure, it's clean and pleasing now, but for how long?! The grown-men confront the dark enchantment their possessions have over them, and then Johnny shows off his partially-built birthday Lego! Soon after, Tony makes an incomprehensible gesticulation, and it confuses Johnny. They reflect on the pleasures of lurking behind hotels, and then comedian, DJ, radio host, and friend Cipha Sounds gets on the call to discuss Stoicism, suicide prevention, and how Cipha made the transition from the alluring world of hip-hop to the intensely dorky world of improv comedy. This episode is not suitable for adults. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Johnny's pre-birthday, and Tony's large gift is already causing a stir! In this episode, we learn why Tony can't be an astrophysicist and that Johnny has never had a bad bank experience. Then, Tony proclaims them “gold-ribbon improvisers” moments before they perform a scene that is so unwieldy it has to be cut from the show! Betsy Sodaro joins the call just in time to have the whole scene recapped for her, and the tittering trio goes on to discuss Betsy's passion for leg-oriented sports, her time workin' the Backdraft attraction at Universal Studios, and how close they feel to one another, despite never spending that much time together. Tony tries to maintain his hyper-critical posture during Johnny's Game, but even he must admit that the questions are pretty good this week! This episode contains a lot of talk about the show Cheer. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The boys are aglow after receiving a compliment about the podcast. Then, they get into their discomfort around compliments. When Tony disrupts the chat with a bizarre side-comment, the whole thing nearly comes off the rails. But luckily, they recoup just in time for another of their irreverent, science-fantasy skits! Then Paul Scheer swings by to talk about his virtual background choices, and how their daddies used to come to their shows to watch them perform improvised sex scenes. Paul pulls no punches with his criticisms of a Johnny's Game setup question, and it, understandably, incenses Johnny. This episode gets feisty. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tony's crunchin' and munchin' on some Goldfish! When he's called away suddenly, Johnny fills in with a hastily-thrown-together song parody. Upon his return, the dashing duo discusses how much Johnny loves sneaking and scaring, and how often Tony gets startled and scared! Then, their brilliant and hilarious friend Shannon O'Neill comes on, and the boys demand compliments from her on their weight loss…to the point where they have to apologize and assure her that she was not brought on merely to hear about their insecurities. Then, they look back on all the disgusting things they've done on stage together, and how Shannon was the first to encourage Tony to do his winning Trump impersonation! The show closes with Shannon putting in a breathtaking performance on Johnny's Game and everyone collapsing on the ground in ecstatic satisfaction. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Excuses abound as we return to the fan-favorite segment “Fattest Friend!” This week's winner may surprise you! Or maybe not! The baby boys discuss their lack of fashion sense, and then Sam Griffel struggles to get his headphones to work so he can join the Threeway. He ends up using his gaming headset, and they go on to reminisce about their time at The President Show, how Sam chokes when he's teamed up with Tony in Call of Duty: Black Ops: Cold war, and why on earth Sam would take his dog to go cheer up children in the hospital. Then, Johnny's Game is shaken to its core with the unveiling of a new points system. Will anything ever be the same again? Yes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Behold, a horrifying ordeal that begins with the fellas re-recording the start of the episode because they had a terrible, un-airable fight, the first time around. They make up and sort of blame it all on holiday stress and low, winter light. Also, Tony has been highly-frustrated, of late, by a cell phone golf game. They do a tense NORAD missile-defense scene, and then Matt Besser enters the fray to talk about fantasy football, how he doesn't like hugs, and how HE GOT COVID ON CHRISTMAS! Tony & Johnny are beyond disgusted and make certain to let Matt know how dirty they think he is. This episode actually gets more upbeat as it goes! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Right up top, Johnny's lighting sucks. He struggles to get his ring light set up while Tony fills time. A quick chat about Johnny's need for control spurs the guys to diagnose each other's mental issues, with a high degree of inaccuracy! Then they launch into a DMV transaction scene that only these two whip-smart, comedic geniuses could pull off. Paul F. Tompkins shows up strong to the Zoom meeting by wrestling some pesky technical issues into submission. When the shit is gotten together, the trio gabs about outgrowing hometown friendships, Mr. Show, and how terrifying stand-ups can be. Then they bookend with some more technical issues. Technically? A perfect ep. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Putrid Pair starts out complaining about the unreliability of Zoom, but then laments not investing in the app sooner, before it took off! Tony reveals that he was grumpy in Canada because there was no “comfortable seating” in his furnished apartment. Then Johnny realizes that Tony's a little princess! And they do a fun scene about it! Nicole Byer snuggles in to get cozy on a chilly, LA day, and they talk about how displeasing it is to put in effort, how popular Nicole is with children, and how they'd all like to fornicate with dolphins! It's nice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An exemplary episode finds the chums lathered up about the titillating, old Nickelodeon show Hey Dude. Then, when they criticize a prestige movie, Johnny's fears of being blacklisted are revealed, and Tony doubles down on his long-held assertion that Johnny is a cowardly, “company man.” They have yet another tiresome argument about which of them complains more, and then they do a spectacular scene about a sick mule. Mitra Jouhari dazzles as they discuss skincare secrets, the Housewives, and how to tell when you can start talking shit with a new coworker. Hang on tight pard, ‘cause this ep'll buck ya! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.