Tinseltown - The Holiday Movie Podcast

Because if there's one thing your life needed this April Fool's Day, it's two straight white men talking about Snow White 2025. We promise to be normal about it. Topics include Rachel's bad luck with costars, Brian's recent weird movie viewing habits, and Flonk's inability to recall current movie releases.

Amanda and I take a look at Rob Zombie's misbegotten Halloween remake, a movie which played to all his strengths, but was still pretty awful, as the core idea was still bad, and also a lot of his strengths just shouldn't be in a Halloween movie. Hell of a cast, though!

While reviewing the awkwardly titled "Halloween H20: 20 Years Later", Brian and Maggie devolve into insanity. Very quickly. NOTE : I have not fully checked this episode yet because it's very long and I'm very busy. If there are any errors, I'll catch them this weekend and upload a fixed version.

The Count and TLo take a look at "Halloween". Not that one. No, not that one. This is the third Halloween that's the eleventh movie, the fourth reboot, and the third Halloween 2. How hard is that to keep track of?

The Pumpkin Patch returns with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, in which the producers tried to make this a proper perpetual series without Carpenter or Curtis, but with Pleasance! You still have Loomis! You all still have Loomis!

Welcome to the alternate universe, pals! All this month, we'll be dipping into the Halloween universe to examine all the various times the Halloween franchise tried to make sense of its bloated continuity. This time, Courtney and I check out the first attempt to turn a singular masterwork into a franchise, which they did, for better or worse. (Note: Worse) We also discuss who finds the footage in found footage movies, why everyone in this movie sucks at their job, and do a live taste test of Oreo Coke Zero. 

In this VERY impulsively recorded episode, a very convoluted April Fool's joke leads to us watching another horny Grinch movie.

The mayor's final sibling joins him to review A Christmas Story 2, a real hunk of junk from a short-lived DTV crap factory. NOTE: Since recording this episode, I finished "The House", and honestly, it was pretty good. Rough first act, but that's comedies for you, sometimes you have to sweat through the exposition.

Like a delicious sandwich made with terrible bread, the middle of Legasequel Month turns out to be quite tasty, as Tim and I look at the surprisingly good, if awkwardly titled "A Christmas Story Christmas", which is probably the best case scenario for what it could have been. I don't know why there's two slices of bread on each side of the sandwich.

It's the middle of the beginning of theme month and the beginning of the end for Bogdanovich mainstay and Oscar nominee Randy Quaid. Join us as we look into the sad mush that is "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure".     Read More

HAPPY THEME MONTH! Our theme this year is "garbage sequels made LONG after anyone cared", and what better way to start than with 2022's "Home Sweet Home Alone", which isn't the worst Home Alone movie, but SURE IS the one I like the least!

Welcome to the Pumpkin Patch, y'all! Brian and Lara from the Halloween universe, beset by fading batteries, review Brian's deepest childhood terror, a dumb comedy movie for little children.

This episode is almost exactly 50% disgusting medical chat and 50% Colleen and I risking divine obliteration for our blasphemy.

I'm on medical leave for a couple of weeks due to... well, I'll probably do a B.A.D. about it, so I'll save you the gory details for now. Pun intended. But in the meantime, here's Colleen and I reviewing "The Littlest Angel", a semi-religious 70s TV movie with a truly weird cast.

This week, Courtney and I become the first people in history to compare "Richie Rich's Christmas Wish" to "Hamlet".

Flonk and Brian and the BRAND NEW (at the time) Spider struggle to remember the made-for-TV Kelsey Grammer vehicle "Mr. Saint Nick".

Anton and the Mayor look at Paul Feig's first big movie, "Unaccompanied Minors", a semi-fairly maligned but quite unfairly forgotten pretender to the Home Alone throne. Which is to say a movie where kids get up to unsupervised shenanigans at the expense of a character actor.

This week, Colleen and I look at what happens when one of Hollywood's most sullen and thuggish leading actors needs a hit of good publicity and agrees to be the guy in a pretty generic romcom. It's "Holiday Affair"!

Happy April First! I'm in a hurry, hope I don't upload a commentary by mistake or something.

Another Broken Arm Dispatch, I'm afraid, as I take stock of the many delays we've faced, vent about the lingering effects of the pandemic, and OFFICIALLY schedule our next posted episode.

On this Broken Arm Dispatch, the mayor plays a game of "Why Brian So Busy", featuring King Charles III, Studs Terkel, and a little kitten that taught America to love again.

Brian and Courtney review "Bell, Book, and Candle", in which a very talented cast plays almost exclusively roles they're poorly suited for. Also, this was recorded before I got Spider, which is a shame, there's a lot of cat content in here.

AAlgar and Maggie join Flonk and I to review the second sequel to a spinoff of a spinoff of a movie about a dog who plays sports. Surprisingly, it's not very good.

Amanda and Brian take a look at "Turbulence", a semi-erotic 90s thriller that is remarkably Christmassy, especially when you consider it came out on January 10.

AAl, Amanda, and I review another Downton, now with more Molesley! This episode is set in August, but it's a Christmas special, so we're allowed. Also: Shrimp-eh.

"Brian and Katie review 90s kids books" is back, with a look at the most entitled American Girl, Samantha, and her film debut, with eventually includes some limited amounts of Christmas.

Tim and I are joined by Brenda, a self confessed fan of hot goss and general trash, to review the latest comeback attempt of someone who has been well-represented in both of those categories. It's "Falling for Christmas"!

Brian and Lisa ring in the new year with "New Year's Eve", an overstuffed, undercooked mess of a - HOLY COW, IS THAT JENSEN?!

Better late than never, it's time for the state of the canon! And since said state is pretty lonely again, it's time for some analysis! Topics include why nothing got added this year, what can be done to avert this going forward, and Spider's Big Day Inside.

Rounding out Category Six month, Emily, Spencer, and Brian look into "The Wizard of Oz", a movie that is weirdly considered a Christmas movie by many people for no particular reason. Emily takes an anti-Toto stance, Spencer smells toast, and Brian tries DESPERATELY to talk about the book only when directly relevant.

Category six month rolls on with the flimsiest of excuses, as Flonk and I review Deadpool, a sassy comedy about a dude who's rude, crude, with attitude, and also with a weird amount of emotional honesty? Anyway, he says "Christmas" a bunch, so that's what's getting him in here today.

Brian's all right, Timmy's all right, they just seem a little weird after watching a nearly four hour movie. But do not take us for some conjurer of Cheap Trick, as Tim joins us for that finest of Category Six movies... Movies That Get Associated With Christmas Just Because of Their Release Date. It's LORD OF THE RINGS, BABY.

This week, it's a guest in theme month! Devlin joins us to discuss Ken Russell's The Who's Tommy, easily the weirdest movie we've ever done on this show.

A lengthy hiatus comes to a close, and with it comes Theme Month 2022, where we're looking at movies with the feeblest of Christmas connections! Sound is a little wonky on this one, but who could be upset when Lara and I are drooling over Christopher Plummer in "The Sound of Music", a really long, but really good, but really long movie!

Happy holiday season! As usual, it's time to announce our run of themed episodes, and Flonk is here to help with that, and also review Peacemaker a little, why not?

This week, on the Broken Arm Dispatch, I discuss a type of movie we won't be doing much of here, and do a commentary on "The Adventure of the Wrong Santa Claus", a short film from 1914 that dares to ask "What if Topper was a detective"?

But don't worry, my arms aren't broken again. Here's a status update leading into the holiday season, followed by a rambling walk through my top 25 movies of all time. (Three Christmas movies make the cut!)

STATUS UPDATE: Don't worry, the show's still on track! Screwy scheduling is STILL afflicting us, and our usual fall block was taken up this year by me being in a show, so the queue has run dry. But fear not, we have begun our next round, and the weekly uploads should resume shortly.  ALSO: From the vaults! Colleen and I review and revisit the franchise about America's favorite horny twerp, Andy Hardy! ALSO: A local donut restaurant may be mocking me.

One from the Patreon this week, as I recover from being in Clue and prep the next round of recording! Enjoy me, Robbie, and Tim playing America's hottest game show, in which I challenge them to tell which Christmas Carol adaptations are real, and which I made up to trick them!

Emily and Brian take on The Weasel as we revisit "Son In Law", a Thanksgiving movie that is the first in the brief and inexplicable "Pauly Shore is a viable lead actor" era. Join us as we look at Tiffani Amber Thiessen: Farm Detective, analyze the practicality of roller blades as farm implements, get confused about the plot of a Tim Allen movie, and... grow... fatigued.

Confounded by my messy apartment, Courtney and I have to change our plans, and decide to stay topical by watching a Christmas movie about corgis. Well, about corgi. Well, about a pretty generic romance that happens near a corgi.

Justin and Brian hastily cancel their plans to watch some dumbass Krampus movie to get zeitgesty and check out "Soulmates: The Christmas Gift of Light", a mysterious screenshot of which captivated the internet this past weekend. It MIGHT be a cult!

As we prep to get back to normal episodes, we dip into the Patreon to give you Rocky V, which we totally didn't realize had Christmas in it when we started watching.

For the second guest month in a row, we have had an unexpected shift in the schedule which occurred the day before Flonk was coming over anyway, so it's time for another New and a Bit Alarming Crossover! This time, we're continuing our look into the five feature-length Looney Tunes movies. The Space Jam trilogy was bad, sure, but was it... DIRECT TO VIDEO BAD?

Brian's little sister Katie joins us to discuss The Baby-Sitters' Club in general and the Christmas episode of the 1990 HBO show specifically. Get ready for a LENGTHY character rundown, because she has 25 years of pent-up Baby-Sitter thoughts.

Maggie joins me to continue our Tim Curry train of thought onto a third podcast feed, as we examine A Christmas Carol, from 1997. Or 2002. Anyway, Tim Curry is in it.

Guest month rolls along, and it's time for another curate's egg, as TLo joins us for the first time to review Toys! It's a Robin Williams movie that shouldn't, a kids' movie that isn't, and a Christmas movie that won't! Still kinda good.

Sarah Jenkins rejoins us to look at The Green Knight, a more accurate, skillful, and handsome version of Sword of the Valiant.

Lara is IN PERSON and I'm rewarding her hospitality with "Bloody New Year", an incredibly meandering British horror film that takes place in July.

Hello, all! No new episode this week, because, as a shampoo commercial once told me, I'm worth it. But I still wanted to drop a quick note letting you know why, and also letting you know where else you can find me out there in audio land.

An irregular pregnancy, wise men chasing stars, and one jolly bearded man who loves the holiday, Prometheus is truly a Christmas movie for the ages. Or else Montoya and I just wanted to talk about it.