Four or three eps a year.
I could only make up 12.5 minutes, unfortunately. Sorry! :) Paratha ad.Alec Baldwin, 4th wall.Posit: preemptive sexual contact with animals in a structured and comprehensive way, as a way of identifying the next pandemic before it happens.Bitter melon chunk.Hyothetical PSA: especially dont fuck these animals.Nobody; my horny ass.Hydrangeras are the only species of plant that literally has sex.Spicy food to a baby.Middle-of-the-night thirst hits different.Play ep - 064 - The Hour-Long Extravaganza!
Theme. Babes and bedlamites. “I’m a Good Guy” b-side voice memo (lmk if you wanna work on this song together online). Seaside segment. Neighbours hate me ;). Right-toe. Weather. Cross about jelly. “Puffy jackets.” Closing thoughts. Mental health stigma. Credits.Play 063 - Right-o (audio, 9.3MB)
COFFEE live broadcast on Triple R FM. I can be very petty 1 (buried with the bottle). Weird people’s licence plates. I can be very petty 2 (industry frenemies affectionately call me “Tom” as in Tom Petty). Netflix sizzle reel application: the controversial transphobic chunk. Mugs outro.Play ep (mp3 link, 6.6 MB)
Bands renamed as eye movements. “G.I. Jane 2 - can’t wait to see it.” “Something came up” pick-up line.▶ Ep 061 (mp3 link, 4MB)
Kate > Meghan. Directions trope. 69 Shades. Doh-nuts! “I love dogs!”Play ep 60! [mp3 link]
Monday 29th August, 2011 had been a perfect San Francisco day - a high of 68º F, clear skies with passing cloud. I was on a once-in-a-lifetime trip with one of the loves of my life, and we had spent that day in the Mission district, wandering around, drinking Four Loco, and without a care in the world.The rest of the week would be spent busily sight-seeing, shopping, dining, and making many memories that I will forever hold as some of the happiest in my life.But when I jolted awake in our hotel room shortly after midnight to the sound of gun fire, a completely innocent man's life had been snuffed out for no reason just a couple of short blocks away. This is the story of the murder of Gaspar Puch-Tzek.Play ep 059 - Gaspar “Tio” Puch-Tzek.
nounshellacking. shel·lack·ing | shə-ˈla-kiŋ | Definition of shellacking: a decisive defeat : DRUBBINGSynonyms: beating, defeat, drubbing, licking, loss, lump, overthrow, plastering, rout, trimming, trouncing, whipping.Antonyms: success, triumph, victory, win.https://p0.f0.n0.cdn.getcloudapp.com/items/OAuGlQWL/7ee10d8d-dd81-4b87-a84d-976b70da68bd.mp3Play ep: https://p0.f0.n0.cdn.getcloudapp.com/items/OAuGlQWL/7ee10d8d-dd81-4b87-a84d-976b70da68bd.mp3
Free Solo filmmakers are back. Ad without the word ‘deadly’ in it. Long story-short re being rat-fucked by my own largesse again.🔊 Play 057 - Rat-fucked…
Housemate walk of shame, pre-covid. Out of French Onion dip. In stink. Sore left arm. Anti-mandate squad. “It just works!” Don’t tell a friend, don’t share on social - if you don’t want to! 🇦🇺🐨👍LUKEHAND: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lukehand/id1260332519Luke Hand Diary: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/luke-hand-diary/id1570320531Play 056 - LVI
March 500-sommin 2020. 6 PM meridian. My parents doing the nasty. Finding a dead body on a complete fluke. 🙉 OH: the s-word, tee hee!! 🙊https://p0.f0.n0.cdn.getcloudapp.com/items/9ZuQ2Nkb/375d4e9d-0544-43c0-9a46-67f021b85a2d.mp3
054 - Everybody’s an Epidemiologist 🙄Hello / Hairdresser with trichophillia / Walkin away / Everybody’s an Epidemiologist / a yawning gap / What the hell is Call ID?!Play 054 - Everybody’s an Epidemiologist 🙄
Al Piede (hooray!) | Cookie | Didnt see it coming (Har Mar Superstar) | Working class patois | BAN vanilla essence!! | Outro (hey?)Play ep mp3
This episode contains explicit content. Please do NOT play within earshot of children. Or millennials ;)Be vulnerable. | SHEESH. | You had an awesome childhood. | Sex worker pasta (recipe: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/spaghetti-puttanesca). | Edwards Bridge. | Vegan Faggots with onion gravy (recipe: https://sozosquare.com/vegan-faggots-with-onion-gravy/). | Hey, grassy knoll shooter…?051 - Contains Swearing, Slurs, and Mature Themes MP3
Irish/kiwi/aussie intro. your old man’s plums. safe words during nastee sex. this day in history - April 14. immature audience CW. Hot and Not. Millenials dont eat much soup. “Closure.”Play 050 - GOLD.
Luke’s tinder: https://go.tinder.com/RF5txGBFklY-Luke Feedback encouraged! Ya gotta help me!! MuhammadNguyenSmith@gmail.comTomato Is a Fruit audio file URL.
Work bants, Frued, insurance Claus, February grateful things. ▶️ Play episode.
Sponsor: lukehandtestandtag dot comPlay ep 047
need a coffee like a hole in the head. lazy anesthetist. 2020 has been extra. trump soundbite. woke dog whistle salesperson. L-plater news story. Play ep 046
Opening theme. Self-roast (dog movies). Volunteering (before/after Mr Andrew’s call). Fringe music. Closing theme.Play episode.
Epic Aldi opening story, a quick word about a mattress at Forty Winks, a Bill Gates/COVID riff.♫ 043 - Aldi, Forty Winks, =RAND()
A short chat about a big topic, with music’s Evelyn Ida Morris.♫ 042 - McEmorie’s Ev-isode
By request: a quick ep at home with mum with discussion about prison abolition. :)♫ Play ep :)
The “OK, Boomer” episode - of course.♫ Play 039 - Stephanie Says
Tough out here, man ▶ 038 - The One in Which I Cover Single Life and Dating
I’ve known what the saying “cock a snoot” means for ages. You haven’t. And yet - as I said earlier - I have.♬ Play - 037 - Cock a Snoot
Looks like something got hacked or something somewhere and most old episodes are deleted now.Play 036 - Love you xx
Sex expert Dan Savage answers my call on his popular call in show. Charmed.Play 034 - Doggity Style!
Throwback ep for the haters who thought the last two eps were “too serious” and “too long”! Well, whatever…….. …it’s Don’t Have Cows!▶ Play 033 - Ham, Mud and Ham!
An bad interview with the guy who locks up the bikes with the JESUS SAVES signs in Melbourne. Not a good interview. Really bad.▶ Play 032 - Bike Guy
The Tamam Shud case, also known as the Mystery of the Somerton Man, is an unsolved case of an unidentified man found dead at 6:30 am, 1 December 1948, on Somerton beach, Glenelg, just south of Adelaide, South Australia.♪ Play 031 - The Somerton ManCasefile Podcast ep on The Somerton Man: https://casefilepodcast.com/case-02-the-somerton-man/
No more Mr. Nice Guy: a - old guy at Safeway; b - narrow footpath; c - Coldplay tee.Dead naming Donald Drumpf over TTP.Lowercase ‘l’ riddle. 🎵 030 - NO MORE MR NICE GUY
Woolworths prank call. Floorme Waxread. Chess. Antifa. The Age newsroom prank call.▶️ ep28 - Floor Me Wax Read
Intro, SA, cliff, valley, canyon, 315m above sea level. Butcher’s hook, don ‘n’ bone, fruit ninja, candy crush, meaty/beefy, sinuey/lean. ACCC, VCAT, molecular level, chemical. Outro.Play 027 - Broken Hill, Butchers, BBQ Shapes
Sleeping with longhairs. Shaggy dogs. Knock knock joke (Sue). A happy medium. Slice of life (iPhone notification). Dave Hughes-esque bit (sausage sizzle). Sassy doormat.▶ Play 026 - I’m Ass King For a Friend
Global warming. Russell Brand. Michael Bublé. Apple’s quarterly results (Q1 2016). Things that suck (ISIS). Memories (mugging). Johnson & Johnson call.▶︎ Play 025 - SWISHDon’t Have Cows is in the iTunes Store - https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/dont-have-cows/id689764147?mt=2Original cute Story Corps memory story: http://www.npr.org/2008/03/28/89164759/a-victim-treats-his-mugger-right
Prank call. No junk mail. Butter. Leaf. 29+ y.o. marbles in stockings. Intended cryogenics goof that you might get a kick out of. Melbourne is footy-mad! Things That Suck: Apple™. Outro.▶ Play 024 - NO JUNK MAIL
Knock knock - Luke! Pluto. Airport food pricing. Sign-felled piece. Small *womb* after all. "Who’s there!“ Things the suck - musical artistes.▶ Play 023 - demo.
Seminal moment intro. New segment: “Luke’s Liturgy!” - “YOLO.” I’m all: LOWA! Parking lots less nowadays. Things that suck. I really appreciate you guys listening. All of my love.▶ Play 022 - Luke’s Liturgy!
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