Relationships with Abby Rodman

At what point in history did we become so youth-obsessed that we agreed to take any steps necessary to preserve our own? At some juncture, we decided it was no longer okay to let our hair choose its own hue, to allow our hips to widen and our boobs to sag, to embrace the muumuu and not the string bikini. Join Psychotherapist Abby Rodman as she puts in her two-cents on what it means to be (horrors!) an aging woman in our culture -- and what we really should be focusing on instead.

You know that person in your life who drives you nuts but you can’t really pinpoint why? That person who brings out the worst in you no matter how many times you promise yourself you’ll stay cool and collected? If this sounds painfully familiar, you may be dealing with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. You can find out more about the DSM-5 criteria for this diagnosis here. But what if you read the list of symptoms for BPD and realize your “person” doesn’t hit all the markers for it? That’s why I’m suggesting there’s a real diagnosis of Borderline-ish Personality Disorder. A Borderline-ish Person (BIP) has some (or many) of the markers of the diagnosis, but just not all the DSM purports they should have.  Join me as I talk (from personal AND professional experience) about what it means to have a BIP in your life. And, no, you're not crazy.

Is there such a thing as an empathic narcissist? I believe there is. Not because of what it means to be a narcissist, but because of what it means to be empathic. What evokes empathy in each of us is complex, singular, and multi-layered. If you suspect someone close to you is an empathic narcissist, pay close attention to what garners their empathy. If it’s usually big picture empathy like sick kids or abandoned puppies, you may be right. Because those are empathic no-brainers. No heavy lifting there. Join me as I delve into strange phenomenon of empathic narcissists...and how to recognize them!

There’s something about GTS that I love. It’s a hopeful acronym. It intimates that whatever we’re going through, we’re going to come out on the other side of it. Whatever it is will eventually be in our rearview. It also encapsulates what it means to be alive. If we’re breathing, we’re going through something, we’re processing something. As you read this, you’re going through something. I am, too.  In this age of social media masking and masquerading, the recognition that everyone is GTS is more important than ever. And we can’t be lured into numbness by believing (about others and, yes, even ourselves) that our perfect Insta selfies will ever/accurately/actually/remotely represent our whole truth. Listen in as I talk about what it means to go through something -- and how to honor that experience in others.

Gaslighting is a psychological term that refers to one partner’s efforts to undermine the other’s grasp on reality in order to gain control. This is done by systematically making the victim feel like whatever the circumstances, her (or his) version of events is skewed, misconstrued, or imagined. Gaslighting makes you forfeit your own truth. Self-doubt takes over because you no longer rely on your reality. You lose touch with who you once were or thought you were — because everything is hazy now. You desperately want the someone closest to you to validate your feelings, beliefs, and experiences. But the validation never comes. Join Psychotherapist and best-selling author, Abby Rodman, as she discusses gaslighting -- and its very real impact on relationships.

Even though divorce sucks, it isn’t what screws up your kids. Listen, a can of paint is just a can of paint until you slap it on a wall. And an unhappy marriage is just an unfortunate circumstance until you handle it poorly. Because a divorce (or even an agreement to stay in an unhappy union) done maturely, done with your children’s future emotional and relational health in mind, can really be okay for them. If you choose to divorce (or to stay in a suffocating, directionless marriage) with some semblance of awareness and amicability, the kids will be okay. Really, they will. Because it’s the behaviors associated with your unhappiness — not your unhappiness itself — that will take the biggest toll on your kids.  Join Psychotherapist Abby Rodman as she discusses how to keep your kids happy and healthy through your divorce or unhappy marriage. There is a way! Listen in.  For more of Abby's blogposts, podcasts, and generally unsolicited opinions, go to abbyrodman.com.

Teaching kids personal responsibility starts at home. There’s a meme floating around that outlines things kids need to hear from their parents. In addition to, “I love you” and “I’m proud of you,” perhaps the most important one is, “I’m sorry.” Because when you apologize to your child, when you admit wrongdoing, you’re teaching your kid to do the same. Join Psychotherapist Abby Rodman as she discusses what it looks like to raise kids who are honest and take personal responsibility -- instead of blaming, whining and pointing fingers. For more of Abby's blogposts, podcasts, and generally unsolicited opinions, go to abbyrodman.com.

It's not a secret: Those in successful marriages know the formula for their marital success isn't all that complicated. With a couple of adjustments, you too can have a healthier, happier, and more peaceful union. Join Psychotherapist Abby Rodman as she shares a personal experience in the journey of her own marriage -- and what people in successful marriages already know to be true about what makes a marriage and partnership the best it can be.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is selfishness and self-absorption on steroids. It takes self-righteousness to levels that always leave destroyed relationships in its wake. Unfortunately, it isn’t easily treated in therapy and it’s almost never adequately addressed by those afflicted by it.   If you’re in a relationship (of any stripe) with someone who never sees it your way, never apologizes fully, or always thinks others (including you) are responsible for his/her disappointments, you may be dealing with a narcissist. Join Psychotherapist Abby Rodman as she highlights the dangerous emotional costs and pitfalls of having a narcissist in your life.

One of the most dreaded steps in the divorce process — if not the most dreaded — is telling your kids your marriage is over and that their family as they’ve known it is about to change forever. If your kids are old enough to be “sat down” to have the divorce convo, there are some things you want to make sure to include as you roll out this unwelcome news. Join psychotherapist and bestselling author, Abby Rodman, as she outlines the things your kids need to hear -- and the promises you shouldn't make.

In every new relationship, the first weeks are crucial. They’re jam-packed with visceral and practical information about the person we’re considering getting involved with. Problem is, many of us plow through these early informational tidbits without giving them the credence they’re due. They may be vague doubts or huge, waving red flags. But because falling in love feels so damn good, we keep on. Save yourself a boatload of disappointment and heartache. Listen in as bestselling author and psychotherapist, Abby Rodman, describes 6 of the "red flags" you should be on the lookout for at the beginning of a relationship. For more of Abby's blogposts, podcasts, and generally unsolicited opinions, go to abbyrodman.com.

Could there be a scientific or personality-driven reason you keep choosing the wrong type of partner?  Sigmund Freud introduced the concept of the ego — one of three separate but interacting systems that drive human behaviors. The other two are the id and the superego. So, how does all this fit in when it comes to selecting a mate? Many clients come to therapy with this burning question: “Why do I keep choosing the wrong kind of partner?” If you’re also stumped by this frustrating conundrum, there may be a simple reason for it. It may lie in the part of your personality you’re operating from when you choose partners. Listen in as best-selling author and psychotherapist, Abby Rodman, offers a deeper explanation as to why you're stuck in this negative relationship loop. It may just change how you choose your next mate! For more of Abby's blogposts, podcasts, and generally unsolicited opinions, go to abbyrodman.com.  

Psychotherapist Abby Rodman first published this article about being the mom to sons only in 2014. Since then, it's been shared, quoted, and liked over a million times. Resonating with mothers the world over, it has also been translated into several languages. Tune in as Abby shares her insight into what it means to be a "mom of boys only" -- and how she came to appreciate and love that role. For more of Abby's blogposts, podcasts, and generally unsolicited opinions, go to abbyrodman.com.

Every year, we eventually circle back to Hallmark’s Day of Love otherwise known as Valentine’s Day. Not glad news if you’re in a lousy/unsatisfying/broken relationship. In fact, you may feel a rising anxiety as you ponder how you’re going to navigate the holiday without compromising what’s left of your authentic soul. If you’ve non-celebrated it with your partner before, you probably already know that doing so successfully lies in the delicate balance of preserving your self-respect while capitulating to what’s expected of you. Join Psychotherapist Abby Rodman for a tongue-in-cheek look at what it would be like if the unhappily partnered were the ones writing Valentine cards for Hallmark. And how to handle the discomfort of the holiday just a bit more comfortably.

Is Donald Trump a narcissist? Some in the mental health field think so...and that's why narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder have been receiving so much attention lately in the media. Join Psychotherapist Abby Rodman as she explores 11 of the reasons you should run from narcissists -- those who simply aren't wired to be in fulfilling relationships.  Because of their lack of empathy and inability to admit their faults, narcissists are incapable of understanding the often insensitive and hurtful impact of their behaviors and decisions on others.  If you are in a relationship with a narcissist -- or suspect you might be -- tune in as Abby Rodman gets you clear on what narcissism is and why you should steer clear of those with NPD.  

When a husband cheats, his wife will inevitably demand to know why. And that's a hard one to answer. Psychotherapist and bestselling author, Abby Rodman, has counseled dozens of men who have cheated on their spouses. After nearly 20 years of talking to men about their infidelities, Abby knows why. And she guarantees it's not what you think. Who are men cheating with? Why do they risk it all to do it? In this podcast, Abby offers the answer. And it's one women find very difficult to hear.    

  Are you wondering if you're the "kind of person" who gets a divorce? You're not alone. Psychotherapist and best-selling author, Abby Rodman, explores why we don't think we're that "kind of person" until we do. Join Abby Rodman as she talks about the negative effects of labels and self-judgment when you're contemplating divorce or going through it -- and how to be kinder to yourself.  

What happens when you’re in a failing marriage and you don’t make moves typically associated with divorce? Or when you decide (or think) staying is a helluva lot easier than slicing up the pie and moving on? Roughly half of marriages end in divorce, but we know that doesn’t mean the other 50 percent are blissful. So, if we assume about 25 percent of marriages are good or good enough, that leaves the remaining 25 percent in unhappy or dysfunctional unions — and not doing anything about it. These folks are the invisibly divorced. Are you among their ranks? Join psychotherapist and bestselling author Abby Rodman and find out!  

Not again! Having the same argument you’ve had with your partner a dozen times before? You’re not alone. Relationship researcher John Gottman reports 69 percent of marital conflicts are never resolved. That adds up to a whole lot of repeat disagreements. You know better than anyone the hot topics in your relationship. Many couples argue about extended family (in-laws, usually), money, and parenting styles. Common issues may also include jealousy, substance use, and negotiating the right amount of time to spend together. You may be sick of hearing your partner’s same list of complaints and you may even be tired of your own. You both realize there’s got to be a better way, but how do you go about it? Join psychotherapist and bestselling author Abby Rodman and find out how!

Secrets? We've all kept them. Lies? We've all told them. But what are the consequences of keeping secrets from -- or lying to -- your partner? Join psychotherapist and relationship strategist Abby Rodman as she discusses how secrets and lies affect us in more ways than we think. If you're convinced that keeping the truth from your partner is better than coming clean, you may not be considering the cost of what that could be doing to the well-being of your partner and relationship...and, yes, even your health. Ready to tell the truth? Committed to keeping that secret or perpetuating that lie? Join Abby as she explores what both options really mean for you, your partner, and the future of your relationship.

Are you wondering if you're emotionally abused? Do you feel anxious around your partner on a consistent basis? Do you feel you're no longer the person you once were? Is your home life marked more by chaos than peace? No, you're not crazy. But if you're being emotionally abused, you may be starting to doubt your sanity. And that's only one of the many damaging byproducts of emotional abuse.  You're not alone. Emotional abuse touches women and men from all walks of life. But emotional abuse is invisible until you're able to really acknowledge just what's going on in your relationship.  Join psychotherapist Abby Rodman as she discusses the 5 sure signs of emotional abuse. Being able to recognize emotional abuse in your relationship is the first step toward a healthier you.  

In the history of the world, begging a partner to stay in a relationship has never ended in a good result. Even if — after all your pleading — your partner agrees to hang out in the relationship a while longer, it’s only a matter of time before he’ll grow tired of the charade. Not only that, but begging is demoralizing. There’s no dignity in it. And sometimes, when a relationship is crumbling, self-respect is all you’ve got left. Tears and threats won’t move your partner — at least not in any permanent fashion — so save your energy for tactics that will make a difference.  Psychotherapist and relationship specialist Abby Rodman offers six conversation starters that just may tilt the relationship — and your partner — back toward togetherness. 

Are hard decisions really that hard? Or do you already know the answers? Join psychotherapist and bestselling author Abby Rodman as she discusses how easy it is to get caught up in the concept of the hard decision...and what you need to do to break free from the questions that keep you trapped in a never-ending cycle of doubt and indecision.

As a mom of three sons and two stepsons, psychotherapist and bestselling author Abby Rodman has a lot to say about raising boys. Join Abby as she discusses her 10 Golden Rules for raising responsible, loving, and respectful sons.    

Did you know the #1 reason second marriages derail is because new spouses can't figure out how to navigate the challenges of step-parenting?  If it seems your partner will do almost anything to remain connected to his/her kids -- even allowing themselves to be controlled or manipulated -- you may find yourself in a difficult and frustrating position as their stepparent. Psychotherapist Abby Rodman -- a stepparent herself -- discusses six common issues stepparents face, and suggests ways to approach your spouse so he/she will hear your concerns. Together, you can make the necessary changes to ensure step-parenting success and a happy marital future. Don't join the ranks of the second marriage divorces. Communication is the key and silence is the enemy. It's time to have the crucial conversations that will keep your marriage and blended family -- on track. For more of Abby Rodman's work, visit her website at abbyrodman.com.

Psychotherapist and #1 Bestselling author Abby Rodman offers a new way to frame an affair which focuses on your personal growth and enlightenment, rather than the heartache and details of the affair itself. Healing from infidelity is challenging at best, but your takeaway from this experience is what will ultimately predict how you process your partner's affair and what the future quality of your marriage -- or next relationship -- will be.

Fewer things in life are as upsetting as your spouse telling you he or she wants to split -- especially if you don't. Just the idea of divorce sends you into a tailspin. What now? Psychotherapist and bestselling author Abby Rodman maps out the 5 essential things you must do to navigate these rocky times and plan your next steps.

Marriage -- especially in midlife -- is often more complicated than we anticipate. And making the decision to stay in or leave your marriage can be difficult and crazy-making at best. Do you spend a lot of time wondering where your marriage is going? Do you want to improve your relationship but not sure if it's possible? Are you feeling alone in figuring out what's next?   Psychotherapist and bestselling author Abby Rodman will answer these questions and guide you to a better understanding of your midlife marriage -- and where you can take it from here.