Ronni and Jennie: Breaking the Cycles of Trauma and Abuse, Silence and Shame

Send us a textWe tend to revisit patterns or problems many times over our lives, healing in layers. But what does it feel like to get to the root of the problem and experience a major shift in your life? Ronni and Jennie share their experiences.

Send us a textAffirmations are a powerful tool for self-transformation. Ronni and Jennie share their tips for creating ones that are specific to your experience, and will work for you.

Send us a textSometimes events around you leave you feeling out of control and under stress. Ronni and Jennie share ways to stay grounded—rooted in the moment—that will break you greater peace.

Send us a textAfter studying breathwork and training to be facilitators, Ronni and Jennie discuss what to expect from a session—and how it could accelerate your recovery process. Use this link to find a certified breathwork practitioner near you:  https://breathworkalliance.com/certified-practitioners/

Send us a textTaking just a few moments to focus on your breath can help you reset/regulate your nervous system, ground yourself, and gain clarity about what you are experiencing. Ronni and Jennie share how they use their breath/breathing in different ways to find greater peace, every day.Use this link to find a certified breathwork practitioner near you:  https://breathworkalliance.com/certified-practitioners/ 

Send us a textAs your children move into adulthood, their relationships with you (and each other) begin to shift—just like your relationships with your parents and siblings change throughout your life. Ronni and Jennie talk about how they have navigated their own shifts as siblings, parents to adult children, and children to aging parents.

Send us a textRonni and Jennie discuss why sharing your story is an important part of the healing process, and how it can help you, as well as others.

Send us a textIf you are healing from trauma, observing pain, chaos, or injustice in the world around you can be extremely triggering. Ronni and Jennie share how they have been handling the recent shifts around them, and what they are doing try to maintain their balance.

Send us a textMost people recovering from childhood trauma know what it's like to live with fear. Ronni and Jennie talk about how to move through fear—and its companions, anxiety and dread—and cultivate healthier patterns of engaging the world.

Send us a textTraumatic situations (including current events) can leave anyone feeling powerless. Learning how to reclaim your power is crucial for creating a sense of mastery in the world, and peace in your personal life.Ronni's new podcast on YouTube: @DrTSociology.https://www.youtube.com/@DrTSociology

Send us a textThere is a Buddhist saying: “Every day, you should begin again.” This saying resonates with Ronni and Jennie deeply, and they explain how embracing it can shift the way you approach each day.

Send us a textMany people claim to be “healers,” but the real healer is inside each of us. Ronni and Jennie talk about why it is important to understand how we each facilitate our own healing.

Send us a textTaking action in the world while releasing attachment to outcome is the key to peace of mind. Ronni and Jennie discuss how they have embraced and worked with this practice.

Send us a textThe process of recovering from childhood trauma include stages that mirror those of grieving. Ronni and Jennie talk about how they have (and continue to) move through these stages.

Send us a textRonni and Jennie share funny/happy memories of their father in this send-off.

Send us a textIt has been almost 30 years since Ronni and Jennie had to walk away from their parents in order to heal from their childhood. The death of their father brings a partial closure to that journey.

Send us a textThe last four months have brought many changes and losses for Ronni and Jennie. They talk about the strategies they have used to manage the emotions these changes have brought to them.

Send us a textNow is the time to begin planning what you want your holidays to look like—especially if there are some challenges in your family relationships. Ronni and Jennie share ideas for preserving your peace of mind and making space for new traditions that will put more joy back into the holiday season.

Send us a textThe Red Wave that gave Donald Trump a victory in the 2024 election has left many feeling anxious about the future. Ronni and Jennie talk about how to move forward, and why people who are healing from trauma are especially equipped to meet the challenges likely to come.

As Ronni and Jennie are together for their annual family reunion, they reflect on how they navigate changes and challenges in their family relationships, especially as their children have moved into adulthood.

Sometimes there are things in our lives that we want to accomplish, but we have to acknowledge that we might not be ready to actually do them…yet. Ronni and Jennie share the challenges they've had in moving forward on the parenting book they feel called to write.

One of the ongoing challenges in our healing journeys is learning how to set effective boundaries with friends, family, co-workers…or even ourselves. Ronni and Jennie discuss how they've attempted to set boundaries in the past, and share where they are still learning and growing with respect to setting and enforcing appropriate boundaries in their lives.

The endless loop of negative thoughts running through our heads can feel as natural to us as breathing. But each of these thoughts tears down our sense of worth and diminishes our well-being—robbing us of the joy we all seek. Ronni and Jennie share how they have worked to disrupt this pattern in their own lives.

Facing the trauma you endured in childhood can be downright terrifying. Continuing to walk a healing path requires courage, as you meet the layers of pain that emerge over time. Ronni and Jennie share what this process has felt like for them, and how they have moved through it.

Conscious connected breathing can help you access physical pain and emotions (especially around trauma) that have been trapped in your body. In this episode, Ronni and Jennie share their experiences with this powerful healing modality.

Spending your childhood in fight-or-flight mode increases the cortisol levels in your body, which can have a negative impact on your health for the rest of your life. Ronni and Jennie discuss what to look for, what they have experienced, and how they have found healing. 

No one likes to watch the people they care about struggle. But if you are recovering from childhood trauma, there can be additional (often tricky) dynamics to negotiate when you want to try to help. Ronni and Jennie talk about how they negotiate these dynamics in their own lives.

No one chooses to be abused, and experiencing trauma changes your life forever. But there can be silver linings—even blessings—in walking a path of recovery.

Things don't always go according to plan; sometimes the world is inviting you to embrace a different option, or path. Ronni and Jennie talk about how to recognize these opportunities and take advantage of them.

It is so easy to get caught up in the pressure to do more—living in a whirlwind of activity that can leave you feeling overwhelmed, even when you know you need a break or some down time. In this episode, Ronni and Jennie explore the strategies they use to find balance between doing what is necessary in life and making time to simply “be.”

Anyone healing from trauma has experienced being “triggered”—often by things that seem harmless or minor to other people. Ronni and Jennie talk about some of the things that still trigger them, and how they summon compassion for themselves as they continue to unwind those patterns.

Many who are healing from childhood trauma have vowed to break the intergenerational cycle that has been the source of their pain—they are committed to shedding the associated baggage, and making lives better for their children. But breaking the cycle is a complex process, and takes longer than most people think.

For many, this is a difficult question. But being in touch with your needs is crucial to living a healthy, balanced life. And for trauma survivors, who have been conditioned to ignore their needs or put them last, asking (and answering) this question is an act of rebellion! 

Why is it so hard to ask for more, even when you know you really deserve it? Ronni and Jennie share their own struggles with asking for more, how they have come to learn what they are worth, and how they get it.

When we find healing, it's natural to want to bring those we love with us on our journey. But not everyone is ready to examine themselves (and their lives) in the way that healing requires. Ronni and Jennie talk about how they have managed their relationships with those they had to leave behind on their healing journey.

Sibling abuse is the least understood (and most common) form of family violence—and a source of trauma for many people. Because sibling rivalry is considered “normal,” it is important to be able to tell the difference between appropriate sibling behavior and sibling abuse .

Abusive relationships are (sadly) quite common, but identifying the warning signs early makes it much easier to leave. Ronni and Jennie share what to look for to keep yourself (and those you love) safe.

Those recovering from childhood trauma, who don't have a nurturing mother (or who have had to break contact with their mothers), are often told that they can simply “mother themselves.” But it doesn't always feel that simple. In this episode Ronni and Jennie discuss how they have attempted to “mother” themselves, and how they have found other mother figures to nurture them on their recovery paths.

If you grew up with addiction, abuse, or other forms of trauma in your home, you likely struggle with feelings of worthlessness. Ronni and Jennie unpack how these feelings are generated, and share how they manage/move through them.

We all go through periods in our lives where we feel like we're not where we want to be, or aren't able to move forward the way we'd like. In the premier episode of Season Five, Ronni and Jennie talk about how they approach these periods, as well as practices/techniques that they use for moving through them.

As Ronni and Jennie gather with their families for their yearly summer reunion, they consider what it means to "live authentically" when you've grown up being pigeon-holed into roles like "the hero" and "the scapegoat." They share how they try to discern what is "true" about/for them, and how they move through the world in that knowledge.

Some in the healing/recovery committee think that you have to “heal yourself” or “learn to love yourself” first, before you are able to build a healthy love relationship. Ronni and Jennie strongly disagree! They share about finding their life partners at an early age, while they were still in denial about the abuse they had endured in their childhood home, and how they managed to build healthy, long-lasting marriages at the very beginning of their healing journeys.

Forgiveness is often a long process, that can take people through a range of emotions. Ronni and Jennie talk about all that can go into choosing whether to forgive someone who has abused you. 

Recovery takes consistent work, and when you're doing it, it can be hard to tell if your effort is paying off. Then, all of a sudden, you start to see positive changes. Ronni and Jennie share stories and insights about moments along the way when they noticed the healing effects of their recovery efforts.

We all have gifts to share with this world. Experiencing trauma or abuse in childhood can leave us feeling like what we have to offer is worthless—or at least, less valuable than what other people can contribute. Part of the healing process is embracing who we are, in each moment, shining our Light as best we can. Remembering that we are enough...and the world needs us.

The language used in healing communities can sometimes seem confusing or contradictory. If we are all “beings of Light,” what is “the shadow self?” Are we all really “doing the best we can,” even those who commit “evil” acts? Ronni and Jennie reflect on, and try to unpackv some of these commonly used phrases.

Easier said than done! But this week, Ronni and Jennie talk about situations that trigger defensiveness, and the strategies they use to manage their emotions and come back to a place of peace. 

Ronni and Jennie talk about what the word “recovery” means to them, in the context of healing from childhood trauma, and what their recovery journey has felt like.

Body shaming is rampant in American culture; the “body positivity” movement has done much to challenge this and help people feel good about themselves and their bodies. But Sonya invites us to dig deeper on the quest for “radical self-love.” Ronni and Jennie talk about how her book has affected them and their healing process.

This week, Ronni and Jennie share the second chapter of the audio version of their book, “Healing Begins With Us: Breaking the Cycle of Trauma and Abuse and Rebuilding the Sibling Bond,” where they focus on what it felt like to grow up in a home with addiction, abuse, and mental illness. Though every family is different, the dynamics generated by this kind of dysfunction are remarkably similar across households and will feel familiar to other trauma survivors. Listeners may want to go back to Season 3, Episode 9 (May 28, 2022) to hear the first chapter before listening to this episode. Links to the book (as well as reviews of it) can be found here: https://linktr.ee/ronniandjennie

This episode from Season Two of the podcast really resonated with listeners, so we are sharing it again. In their series,"The Me You Can't See," Oprah and Prince Harry shine a loving light on people who are recovering from trauma and living with mental health challenges. In this episode of the podcast, we share our own experiences, as well as our reactions to the stories from the series (which can be found on Apple TV).