Screen Time Stories: Parenting Techniques for Raising Tech Natives

Our guest today offers insight into the power of parenting within a supportive village.    Casie Fariello is the CEO of Other Parents Like Me, a peer-led online support community for parents or caregivers with kids struggling with mental health and substances. Other Parents Like Me offers curated and identity-based peer led support groups every day, and every week they offer talks from leading experts and authors to help parents navigate the specific challenges that they face.    Visit www.oplm.com to learn more.

Our guest today, Jenifer Joy Madden  of Durable Human, joined us last season to give a broad overview of babies and screentime. On this episode, she shares her thoughts on a new study just published in JAMA Medicine.   The study looks at developmental delays in infants and toddlers in relation to how much time they spend with screens. We examine two subgroups, moms with postpartum depression and those who are socioeconomically impacted, who are mentioned in the study as allowing their babies to consume more screen time.    Jenifer Joy Madden is a health journalist, digital media educator, community advocate, and parent. She wrote two books: The Durable Human Manifesto: Practical Wisdom for Living and Parenting in the Digital World and How To Be a Durable Human: Revive and Thrive in the Digital Age Through the Power of Self-Design. And she gave an incredible TEdx Talk.   Check out Jenifer's parenting course, "Supercharge the Brain and Language Development of Your Baby or Toddler" and use 25OFF to save 25% on registration. https://durableu.teachable.com/p/supercharge-baby-toddler-brain-and-language     You can find more info on Screen-Induced Syndrome, also known as "Virtual Autism" here: https://durablehuman.com/ToddlerScreenSyndrome   Last, find out more about the 988 crisis hotline here: https://durablehuman.com/988  

Andrea Davis, founder and CEO of Better Screen Time shares her thoughts and research on  getting your child their first phone. She encourages everyone to work witht heir child to identify their level of readiness by using her self-evaluation form.  Also in this episode, Andrea shares how to Untangle Teens and Tech, giving snippets from her course. 

Kim Hopkins, the Director of Outreach at Lives in the Balance, shares the formula behind the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model and the reason she started (and continued) using it in multiple residential facilities over a decade ago.    CPS is the evidence-based, trauma-informed, neurodiversity affirming model of care that helps caregivers focus on identifying the problems that are causing concerning behaviors in kids and solving those problems collaboratively and proactively. The model is a departure from approaches emphasizing the use of consequences to modify concerning behaviors. In families, general and special education schools, inpatient psychiatry units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, the CPS model has a track record of dramatically improving behavior and dramatically reducing or eliminating discipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, restraints, and seclusions.   

Jose Santana spent eight months making a concerted effort to quit video gaming. and almost a year later, says he'll never play a video game again.    In this week's episode, 16-year-old Jose joins Julie to share his personal experiences growing up in this digital world, and expresses his love/hate relationship with modern technology and social platforms.   Kids and teens are especially encouraged to listen to Jose's story to hear about his past experience with gaming addiction, his current life as a small-business owner and intern, and his goals for the future.   Cool fact, Jose is a student advisor to the Digital Wellness Lab.    And as mentioned in the episode, here's a link to Jose's pastor-dad's YouTube channel for all of you Spanish-speakers. And here's Jose's channel.   

Julie is joined by Jenifer Joy Madden, a digital wellness expert, health journalist, digital media educator, community advocate, and parent, to talk about how screens during the first three years of a child's life can impact their future.    Jenifer founded the Durable Human in 2009 as a platform to inspire adults and children to cherish, strengthen, and protect their unique human assets, capabilities, and perspectives in a complex and increasingly digital world.   Her words and videos have informed millions on news outlets ranging from The Washington Post to the Children and Nature Network to her website, The Durable Human. A veteran of ABC News, Jenifer is an independent multi-media reporter and a lead adjunct professor for TV news graduate students of Syracuse University's S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications.   Jenifer distilled her life's work and experience into two books (so far): The Durable Human Manifesto: Practical Wisdom for Living and Parenting in the Digital World and How To Be a Durable Human: Revive and Thrive in the Digital Age Through the Power of Self-Design. Download a free e-copy of the Manifesto here.    

In this episode, Julie asks Catherine Knibbs, a Child Trauma Psychotherapist, how the Attachment Theory influences kids and their interaction with technology.   Cath is a Clinical Doctoral Researcher, Consultant, Public Speaker, Author, Child Trauma Psychotherapist and member of the VUWG. She writes about and works with cybertrauma, which is any trauma that occurs through an internet ready device.   Watch Cath's TedX Doncaster Talk    Pre-oder Cath's latest books: Children and Sexual-Based Online Harms: A Guide for Professionals Online Harms and Cybertrauma: Legal and Harmful Issues with Children and Young People      

Our kids live in a digital world. We can't treat their interaction with tech as a separate piece of their lives. In this episode, Shelley Delayne helps us understand how to avoid being hyper-focused on the tech piece of parenting and instead, incorporate it holistically.   

Clayton Cranford, the owner of Cyber Safety Cop and a 20-year law enforcement veteran, gives us insight on kids and tech from his professional perspective    Clay is one of the nation's leading law enforcement educators on social media, child safety, and behavioral threat assessments and the author of “Parenting in the Digital World.”    Cyber Safety Cop Screen Time Worksheet

Today, with Dr. Bradley Zicherman of Stanford Medicine Children's Health, we're going to go over the impact that screens have on our kids' mental health, and the rise of suicides in youth.   The goal is to bring awareness to a subject that's hard to talk about and to help spot patterns in our own kids.   In 2020, the CDC named suicide as the second leading cause of death in 15- to 19-year-olds. A 2018 study on teenagers found links between depression, suicidal thoughts, and the increase in screen time, which all started to rise around 2010—making the researchers believe that smartphones create a negative impact.   If you ever feel that your child needs immediate help, dial 988 to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.    Let's make sure we're setting a good example to our kids by letting them know that you see a therapist. Put down devices and look for activities to do as a family. Create a space that makes you and your family feel safe. Be empathetic. And the easiest one, that's often hardest to put into action? Let's have fun together. 

Today we're chatting with Sarah McDugal of Wilderness to WILD, getting advice on how to talk to our kids about body safety—online and in real life.   Sarah is a mama, and also an author, coach, and survivor. As a neurodivergent woman on the autism spectrum, and a survivor of domestic violence and child sexual assault, her hyper focus is developing evidence-based, gospel-aligned resources for women after abuse.    "Trauma Mama" Mobile App  YouTube Channel      

How many of our teens are actually watching porn? Well, that's tough to estimate since we're relying on self-reporting.     A longitudinal study published in 2022 found that 63 to 68 percent of teens have watched porn in their lifetime, and 23 to 42 percent have watched in the last year.    And the main source is smartphones, with that initial foray being unexpected about half the time.   To help us understand this topic better, we're talking to Garett Jonsson of Fight the New Drug, an anti-pornography organization.   

Today we're starting a two part series on pornography, breaking it into two parts so that we can focus on younger kids and the introductory phase today. We'll gear next week's episode toward older kids.    To help us get a better understanding of this, we're talking to Kristen Jenson. Kristen A. Jenson is the founder of Defend Young Minds (formerly Protect Young Minds®) and #1 best-selling author of the Good Pictures Bad Pictures series of read-aloud books, which have translations in 10 languages and are now augmented by a guidebook for professionals which supports child therapists and educators. She is also the executive producer of the Brain DefenseTM: Digital Safety curriculum—a powerful and engaging video-based course for families and educators.   Kristen is a positive voice for raising empowered, resilient, screen-smart kids who know how and why to reject pornography. She instills hope and confidence and leaves her audiences with pragmatic advice they can act on immediately to defend young minds.   Kristen has raised her strong voice at international conferences and symposiums such as the United Nations Civil Societies Conference and the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Global Summit. She has testified before the Washington State Senate Law and Justice Committee on the public health crisis of pornography, and she is a trusted guest on a variety of media platforms as she speaks up for defending children from pornography and all forms of sexual exploitation.   Kristen received her bachelor's degree in English Literature and her master's degree in Organizational Communication. She is a mother of three and grandmother of two, and currently lives with her husband and awfully cute dog in Washington State.   Website: https://www.defendyoungminds.com/ Facebook: DefendYM Instagram: @DefendYoungMinds Twitter: @DefendYM Mom Guilt? 8 Tips to Overcome Shame When Your Child Sees Porn Smart Plan for Parents Guide

Hillary, a parenting educator and coach from Word from the Bird joins us today to share her experience with homeschooling.    Get some tips on creative ways to incorporate tech in your homeschooling school day, and start thinking outside the box on how your children learn best! 

Today we're talking about the pinnacle of innovation, creativity, and wealth. Well, at least in our kids' eyes. We're talking about iPhones.  Why? Because our kids ask for them by name, and we could very easily dust off an old model as a hand-me-down.   But what challenges will we face if we go this route? Well, for starters, the workarounds and loopholes are endless. Here are just a few:  After kids reach the max­i­mum screen time limit, they can use Siri to dic­tate and send mes­sages to their friends.  Want to block YouTube through the parental controls? Too bad, cause they'll just open an embedded link to YouTube through iMessage. When their time limit is up, they can delete and reinstall apps to restart the clock. Kids can pull pass­codes that let them bypass, dis­able or change limits by screen record­ing after hand­ing their device to you. And kids can simply change their time zone to increase their screen time.   If the hand-me-down iPhone (or new one!) is the path you're planning to take, try to stay ahead of your kid by reviewing the possible loopholes and dangers they'll encounter.   Just remember, we can't control our kids, but we can strengthen our relationships—and that is the most powerful tool we have in keeping our kids and teens on the right track.    Interested in a youth-friendly alternative? Use the code PODCAST10 to save 10% on a Pinwheel phone for kids and teens. 

Nudes sent en masse. Vaping in the school bathroom. Phones in every clammy palm.    A middle school teacher in northern Virginia shares how tech supports---and hurts---her classroom. In this episode, learn about the changes felt by elementary kids entering middle school, and how we can support our kids' healthy middle school journeys.

It's common to hear about gambling addictions taking hold of great people. Why? What makes you and I any different? And how different is that favorite app compared to a casino?    Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation, provides us with insight on the chemical that makes us want more, more, more. This episode explains the science in real-world examples while giving tips to help us and our kids deal with the dopamine challenges that tech brings.  

Social media addiction, staying up all night playing video games, cyberbullying... as parents, we can't help our kids navigate the digital age if we don't have a solid relationship first. In today's episode, Dr. Michael Rich, founder of the Digital Wellness Lab, talks us through creating and keeping a quality connection with our kids and teens.    Learn more about DWL here: https://digitalwellnesslab.org/about/

Author and public speaker Simone Heng gives research-based advice on navigating connections. Simone, who works with organizations like Lucasfilm, Adobe, Google, and The United Nations, personally discovered the beauty of authenticity before sharing her findings with others.   In this episode, we discover how to identify authentic connections, and the specific ways in how technology can support and damage our search for deeper connections.    Order her book and learn more about her here.

A dad from Oregon asks for advice on how to help his 13-year-old twins transition into summer break successfully. Dr. Michael Rich, founder of the Digital Wellness Lab, gives advice.    digitalwellnesslab.org/

In this episode we talk about single parenting, co-parenting, and how it is influenced by technology. There are so many challenges we face when we hand smartphones to our children. This episode will give you tips on how to address challenges on tech-use and co-parenting to help you focus on staying on the right track. We'll talk to a parent that was mom-shamed for giving her son a phone at a young age. Then we'll talk to an expert for tips on doing what's best for our kids, regardless of our family structure. Tessa Stuckey, MA For the Sake of Our Youth

We all know that technology can be addictive and it's easy to consume hours of content online. To avoid tech addiction, we need to be mindful and aware of how to manage our time online. It's a real challenge to help our children know how to be mindful, especially when many of us as parents are struggling with this ourselves! In this episode with Jen Springer and Julia Storm, we'll give you tips on how to become more mindful and inspire you with ideas for how to pass this on to your children and teens.   Jen Springer Instagram Julia Storm LinkedIn ReConnect Website   "Who am I to stand in my kid's way of making mistakes? I could tell them all the things to be a good human... but they're not going to learn. They have to go out there. They have to make mistakes and fall down because, just like me, that's how I learn and that's how they need to learn." -Jen Springer   "It's actually really much more beneficial to our mental health to be able to sit with uncomfortable situations and sit with our frustrations in our anger and all of that. Rather than try to numb it or make it go away with a dopamine hit it actually ends up making you feel worse in the end." -Julia Storm

Purposeful media consumption is a hard thing to teach. The more we consume the more it's hard to find the quality in what we're consuming. For parents, it's often a guessing game of what's appropriate for our kids and if we should limit screen time at all. If you want to learn more about high and low-quality screen time and how it can affect your child, you'll want to listen to this episode today.   Visit our guest Rebecca's blog and podcast, Bad at Goodbyes.    

Today's kids grow up in a world where they are surrounded by advertising at every turn. From commercials to video games to cartoons, characters are quick to impart mixed messages. While such exposure is normal, it's important that children have the tools to evaluate and understand these media messages. In this episode, Julia Storm shares how parents can support children's critical thinking skills and help them develop their own sense of media literacy.   When it comes to media, kids are bombarded by many messages. Keeping up with all of the advertising tricks can be challenging even for adults, so it's no surprise that today's kids often struggle with understanding these messages. Today we're joined with Julia Storm to discuss what parents can do to help their children develop a sense of media literacy.   “I think media literacy is sort of a big umbrella term. But one piece that's really important is understanding how all of the apps and games that we use are businesses, and ultimately, they're not created just for our pleasure. There are people behind them who are hoping to really strike it rich.”   In a world where we're more connected to media than ever, it's important to be mindful of what messages our children are exposed to from games, TV and movies and how they translate that knowledge in the real world. As parents, we have a responsibility to make sure our kids are ready for a world filled with advertising. More importantly, we need to be certain that they're seeing things as they really are and not through their young eyes. In this episode, Julia Storm shares how you, as a parent, can guide your child and help them develop the media literacy skills they need in life. How Julia handles tech use in their family. Teaching media literacy through the games your children play. How to help your kids think critically. Julia explains how Fortnite skins are now being used as status signalers. Examples of teaching media literacy in everyday things. Things in everyday life that are in the same vein of manipulation and marketing. Helping kids form connections and interpretations of the messages we receive through media, ads, and anything on the internet. Giving advice to children that are backed up with research data.   Links ReConnect with Julia Storm Julia Storm LinkedIn Petra's Power to See by Educate, Empower Kids Pinwheel Use code PODCAST20             

How do we role model good tech behavior to our kids? It starts with recognition of our hypocritical actions.    Licensed Therapist Tessa Stuckey said, "The tablet creates so much peace. So what I'm seeing is kids who are growing up with tablets, because they're not learning how to cope. They're lacking resilience, and when they hit those hormonal years and their emotions get really, really big they have zero resilience to get through it. So all life stressors to them are unbearable. This is why the suicide rate has gotten so big for adolescents.”    Stuckey and special guest Carolyn Savage share their experiences with role modeling tech behavior and leave us with an IRL activity to help the entire family reduce screen time overconsumption. 

Social media gives older kids the opportunity to share positive experiences, boost creativity, improve family bonds, and connect with people from all over the world.   But how do we as parents keep them safe in a space that's rife with harm? Licensed psychologist Mike Brooks shares his insight on when and how our kids can use social media safely.  

Embracing technology in modern parenting is a must. In a time when adults themselves struggle with phone addiction, there's a big need for guidance and tools to help parents teach their children to establish healthier relationships with technology.  So, as parents, how can we approach our children's use of digital devices? How much screen time is acceptable? Is monitoring recommended and, if so, how much monitoring do kids need? What's the right age to allow kids the use of digital devices? To cover all these questions, we talk with Krystyn, a mom of four and blogger with a deep interest in family relationships, and Titania Jordan, Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Parent Officer of Bark Technologies, a company that offers digital monitoring tools to protect children's online lives. We'll examine how: Adults themselves are addicted to screens and vulnerable to depression, anxiety, comparison, and other issues related to social media. If it's a struggle for adults, it makes sense to implement agreements and monitoring systems for children. New generations do not have a point of reference in terms of what it is like to live without social media. To maintain constant and open conversations with your kids and build healthy relationships with them. Monitoring is not the same as spying or being a helicopter parent. You can adjust the level of monitoring according to your kid's age. Monitoring is an umbrella term that can go from tracking the time spent online, to filtering the type of content kids are accessing, to the prevention of cyberbullying, mental health issues and exposure to misinformation, scams, and phishing. To stay up to date on what certain emojis, expressions and internet language mean so you can be on top of what's going on with your kid's use of digital tools.   If you haven't yet, subscribe to the Screentime Stories podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on any app of your preference. For more information on how you can help monitor and protect our kids' digital lives, visit https://www.pinwheel.com/   Tools and resources Find Krystyn online https://reallyareyouserious.com/ https://www.instagram.com/seriouskrystyn/ https://youtube.com/seriouskrystyn   Find Titania online: https://www.bark.us/ https://www.instagram.com/titaniajordan/?hl=en https://twitter.com/titaniajordan   Other tools mentioned in the episode: Parenting in a tech world: https://www.facebook.com/groups/parentinggeeks Thriving families, healthy tech: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thrivingfamilieshealthytech