The Daughters on Fire Podcast

Today, we have a guest on our podcast: Ashley Coleman. Listen to our three-part series about her journey.

Today is part three, where Ashley discusses her journey as part of the "sandwich generation" and how she learned to balance caregiving with self-care. Join us as we explore the emotional and practical aspects of being a caregiver and discover critical insights from Ashley's experience.

Welcome back, everybody. It's Melissa Burton with Robyn Arab and our special guest, Ashley Coleman, for part two of Ashley's story. In this episode, Ashley delves deeper into her journey of caring for her mom, who moved into an assisted living facility in March 2022. Ashley shares the challenges and lessons learned, from dealing with staff issues to managing her mom's habits and the transition to memory care. Discover the nuts and bolts of Ashley's experience, including how she handled her mom's smoking, alcohol, and the presence of a beloved pet.

Join us for a special guest, Ashley Coleman, who shares with us her caregiving journey.  This is a 3 part series.  

In this podcast episode of Daughters on Fire, Melissa Burton and Robin Arab use their experiences and expertise to assist those caring for an aging parent. With the aim of promoting self-care, they discuss the vital importance of looking after one's mental and physical health while being a caregiver. Discussing their experiences, they reveal how oftentimes, caregivers put their needs on the back burner, to the detriment of their health and their ability to provide care. This episode sheds light on the overlooked issues that run parallel to caregiving, such as chronic pain, sleep deprivation, and menopause, which can severely affect a caregiver's well-being. With compassion, understanding, and actionable advice for seeking medical help and treating these issues, the duo stresses the need for open conversation about health-related concerns with professionals. Emphasizing that there is no need for caregivers to silently suffer, the duo underscores the importance of self-care as health care, igniting a conversation about breaking the stigma around seeking help for mental and physical health. Serving as a safe haven for caregivers, the tips, discussions and community offered in this episode can help caregivers lead healthier, less stressful lives while providing the best care possible for their loved ones.

Stressed and burned out from caring for an aging parent? In this podcast episode, Melissa Burton and Robin Arum discuss the challenges and harsh economic realities many adult children face as caregivers. Not only will you receive actionable advice from seasoned professionals, but you'll feel a sense of camaraderie from a community that understands your struggles. You are not alone. Listen in as they provide insights into the effects of today's economy on caregivers and offer strategies to alleviate some of the financial pressures. They delve into how increased living costs and staggering caregiving expenses can be burdensome, affecting the quality and accessibility of care for aging parents. This is particularly true for the 'panini generation' – sandwiched between caring for their own children and their elderly parents. As incomes stagnate and expenses rise, many are feeling the financial squeeze more than ever before. Are there subtle changes you could make to your lifestyle to help curb the financial stress? Melissa and Robin suggest taking steps like downsizing and cancelling unnecessary subscriptions. They highlight the importance of boundaries, especially when dealing with different family dynamics, and explain why they are essential for maintaining balance within the family. Conversely, they shed light on the possible benefits of multi-generational living. With adult children and grandparents under the same roof contributing physically and financially, everyone might fare better. Of course, some careful planning and clear communication are required to make it work. They leave you pondering on whether it might be time to tap into the financial benefits of multi-generational living, may it be in crisis-driven or a healthier way. Listen to this podcast episode as we navigate the complexities of becoming an empowered caregiver in today's economy, offering solutions and reassurances that you don't have to face these challenges alone.

Are you feeling overwhelmed and confused as you try to take care of your elderly parent? You are not alone. Welcome to another exciting episode of the Daughters on Fire podcast with Melissa Burton and Robin Arab. This episode focuses on the initial stage of the disease process, often referred to as the 'Twilight Zone'. We cautiously tread the difficult path that leads to a diagnosis and address the psychological hurdles faced by you and your loved ones in these initial stages. Listen in as we delve into the weird, unexplainable signs that indicate the early stages of a memory-related disease. We also discuss how this phase often passes unnoticed, as the symptoms are usually written off as common age-related issues. This stage is even more challenging because you might not even realize you're already in it! However, awareness and understanding of these early signs can pave the way for compassion and better adaptation strategies. An essential part of our discussion focuses on why observing rather than acting at this stage is crucial. Efforts to push the diagnosed individual to physicians may often lead to denial, further complicating the situation. We argue for a careful balance of observation and informed action to efficiently and sensitively navigate this stage. This episode is sure to help you make sense of these confusing times and allow you to provide optimum care amidst the uncertainty. Interestingly, we conclude the discussion on an unrelated yet surprisingly relevant note.

In this enlightening episode, Melissa Burton and Robyn Arab discuss the importance of self-care for those caring for aging parents. They urge their listeners to prioritize their own health and wellbeing, stressing that you can't pour from an empty cup. The episode explores health issues that often coincide with the stress of caregiving, such as menopause, chronic pain, and sleep deprivation, and strongly encourages seeking professional help when needed. Discussing their experiences with issues like hot flashes and menopause, they empathize with their audience. Drawing from personal encounters, they emphasize the necessity of seeking answers before health issues exacerbate. They also explore how life-changing simple solutions can turn out to be when it comes to self-care, with real-life examples explaining how attending to health needs can eliminate unnecessary suffering and effectively enhance caregiving capabilities. The enlightening discussion outlines why women don't have to "suffer" through health problems like menopause. It brings to light how health issues can significantly impact your ability to care for others and your long-term health outcomes. The episode emphasizes that your health is worth it, and promoting personal health will inadvertently create a better environment for everyone around you. Melissa and Robyn invite you to join them on this enlightening journey and remind you, amidst your battles as a caregiver, to never forget that your healthcare matters as much.

Today Melissa and Robyn talk about how we all want to make it the "perfect" holiday for our loved ones because it may be their last holiday with us.  Are we really doing it for them or are we doing it for ourselves? 

Today, Melissa and Robyn talk about the known.  Many of our clients want to know the signs or information on how long caregiving will last.  Will they decline? Will they go fast? Will they linger? Listen in and hear what they have to say.

Today, Melissa and Robyn discuss how hard caregiving can be, and we often get lost in the seriousness of it all.  Today's reminder is to remember to go out and enjoy life.

Today, Melissa and Robyn discuss when to give it to the experts.  Every journey has a time when you may not know all the answers.  It is okay to reach out and ask an expert.  We talk about four possible situations in which you may need to ask for help.

Caregivers are often called upon to make hard decisions during the caregiving journey. They can often suffer from guilt and trauma regarding the decisions they have made. Robyn and Melissa discuss some tools to work through some of these situations.

Today Melissa and Robyn talk about the ins and outs of admitting your loved ones into a mental health hospital for an evaluation.  

In this episode, Melissa and Robyn talk about the importance of joining a support group.

Today Robyn and Melissa talked about how technology plays a part in your caregiving journey.

Today Melissa and Robyn talked about caring for the Caregiver.  Taking care of yourself while caring for your loved one. www.yourcaregiverjourney.com www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this episode, Robyn and Melissa go over some financial issues to be aware of as you age as well as some tips to keep you ready for the journey ahead.   For more information about the podcast, and caregiving resources, or to connect with Robyn visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Melissa updates us on her dad's health journey with essential takeaways for other caregivers. Find out the impact of your insurance decisions and how to evaluate your choices to be prepared in a crisis.    For more information about the podcast, and caregiving resources, or to connect with Robyn visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Melissa shares her experience as a caregiver dealing with her father's recent healthcare crisis. From the late-night wake-up call to dealing with the ER on a holiday weekend, find out how she navigated the frustrations and pitfalls along the way.    For more information about the podcast, and caregiving resources, or to connect with Robyn visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

Has your loved one recently moved to a memory care facility and you are confused about how to navigate the holidays this year? In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about the considerations to be mindful of when celebrating the holidays in these situations.    For more information about the podcast, and caregiving resources, or to connect with Robyn visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this episode, Robyn and Melissa discuss coping with your loved one's love life. As caregivers, navigating the complications related to your loved-one dating can be tricky. We will explore the emotions that come up and share tips on how to blend compassion and healthy advocating.    For more information about the podcast, and caregiving resources, or to connect with Robyn visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

Have you noticed that your loved one is not as savvy or competent with money as they used to be? Have they been ripped off by a scammer or charged too much due to lack of attention? This can be a tough wake-up call that indicates you need to be paying closer attention to their care needs. Join Robyn and Melissa as they discuss this common but distressing realization.   For more information about the podcast, and caregiving resources, or to connect with Robyn visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa discuss a complicated family dynamic involving finances and boundaries. What do you do when an entitled family member takes advantage of their parent's generosity? This discouraging dilemma is more common than you might think. Listen now to get great tips on how to navigate this sticky situation.    For more information about the podcast, caregiving resources, or to connect with Robyn visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa discuss the financial missteps aging loved ones can make when they try to be generous to others. They may be putting their care needs and resources in jeopardy. In addition, caregivers need to be mindful that they too aren't jeopardizing their financial future caring for a loved one.    For more information about the podcast or for caregiving resources visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

Robyn and Melissa return with more great insight and support for caregivers. This week they discuss the toll caregiving can take on your marriage and how to safeguard your relationship from any negative fallout.    For more information about the podcast or for caregiving resources visit: www.yourcaregiverjourney.com   For counseling support in Tennessee, you can find Melissa at: www.connectionfirstcounseling.com  

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa discuss some scary situations that can arise when caring for someone with dementia. What happens when your loved one doesn't recognize you and is fearful? How do you handle angry or paranoid outbursts? Listen now to find out tips and insight around these complicated and sometimes scary situations.     Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa tackle the maddening aspects of Showtiming! What is showtiming? It is what happens when your loved one with dementia presents to doctors as perfectly intact and healthy. It can be so frustrating, unproductive, and downright crazy-making. You think you know things at home are dysfunctional, but this put-together gem sitting in front of you and the doctor makes you question yourself. How can you anticipate this situation and troubleshoot it? Listen now to learn more about how to navigate around showtiming.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com  

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about the importance of advocating for your loved one in healthcare settings. This might be an obvious statement, but knowing where to turn and when to speak up can be confusing. Listen now to find out the resources and tips on how to speak up for yourself and your loved one.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about issues that arise with swallowing as Alzheimer's disease progresses. Changes in eating and drinking are normal as your loved one declines. What should you look for, and when should you reach out for help? Listen now as we explore these issues.   Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa dive into the emotions that accompany aging and caregiving. Are you dealing with a moody parent? Are you a moody caregiver? How can you help, and when do you ask for help? We will walk you through the emotions of aging and when it is appropriate to cheer up or when it is better just to show up.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa explore the tendency to revert back to our old childhood dynamics when we get together with our family. We may look like grounded and mature adults, but sometimes all of that goes out the window when we are around our loved ones. When this happens it can throw a wrench in the caregiving process. So, is this normal, and is there a way to manage this tendency in a healthy way? Join us now to learn insight and tips on navigating this caregiving dynamic.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about caregivers going on vacation. This is a necessary time to unwind and recuperate from the difficult job of caregiving. But what happens if there is an emergency with your loved one back home? Should you be notified, do you come home early, or are you completely unplugged and incommunicado? Navigating these considerations and having specific and open conversations with the caregivers left in charge is a critical step in planning your next trip away from home. Listen now to find out more.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about the common feeling of confusion amongst dementia caregivers. On the journey of dementia, caregivers are often the ones who feel lost and dumbfounded by the weird interactions with their loved ones. How do you know when to trust yourself and when to trust your loved one? It is not easy, and it is often a very fluid process.  Join us as we explore this frustrating phenomenon.   Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa dive into money matters. As your loved one declines, managing their own bills can become burdensome. This can be the first and best way to start assisting them as a caregiver. In this episode we explore what that might look like and tips on how to navigate this stage of the caregiving collaboration.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa dive into the frustrating feelings that go along with the unanswered questions on your journey. You know, those circular conversations with your loved one with dementia. No matter how or how many times you ask them they just can't give you any answers. And, on a more critical level, sometimes even the professionals and experts don't have the answers you are looking for. Listen now to discover how to deal with this normal and irritating conundrum?    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa tackle the emotional logistics around adjusting to celebrations. As your loved one declines, large gatherings and celebrations can become burdensome for both of you. How do you deal with the changes, and how do you deal with the grief that comes from saying goodbye to traditions? It's not easy, but Robyn and Melissa have some ideas and suggestions on how to approach the summer festivities with a new perspective.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about how fear and anxiety at the beginning of caregiving can lead to anticipatory dread. We can often get caught up in the overwhelming "what if" thoughts about the journey ahead. How can you avoid this dreadful state and learn to take caregiving one day at a time? Listen now to hear some powerful tips on how to ease your fear and anxiety as you begin your caregiving journey.      Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our courses at Shop Courses (daughtersonfire.com)   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this episode, Robyn and Melissa reflect on how caregiving changes the relationship dynamics with our parents. Often this may feel like we are becoming our parent's parent. While the responsibilities feel like a role reversal, your parents will always be your parents. How do we honor and respect our parents while we balance taking on the responsibility for their care? Join us on this week's episode as we discuss the nuances of this complicated dynamic.    www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In This week's episode, Melissa and Robyn talk about creating balance with expectations and visits with your loved one. Oftentimes during a crisis, around the clock attention becomes necessary, but once life settles back down we don't always readjust our focused attention. Is it time to evaluate your visits and responsibilities now that the caregiving crisis has calmed? Listen now to look inside this complicated caregiving dynamic.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Melissa and Robyn explore how to ask for help on your caregiving journey. We will dive into the strategies, mindset, and resources out there that make asking for and receiving help easier.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Melissa and Robyn talk about how to say "no" to all of the extra requests and responsibilities that bog you down on your caregiving journey. We all know setting healthy boundaries is necessary, but it can be hard to figure out the best ways to say "no" and set limits. Listen now for the strong, diplomatic, and strategic ways you can confidently say "no."   Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Melissa and Robyn round out their series on time management with some practical and mindset tips. These simple but useful tips can save you time and headaches as you manage your caregiving journey. If you are interested in learning more about time management tendencies be sure to check out episodes 59-61.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Melissa and Robyn wrap up their series on time management styles. Today we explore the tendencies of the "Analysis Paralysis" and "Second Guesser" types. As we have mentioned, these styles are not good or bad. They are just our unique way of engaging with the world around us. Each of them has strengths and weaknesses. So today you will learn tips on how to manage these two styles and how to identify and work with them on your caregiving team.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa continue their deep dive into different time management tendencies and how the "McBossy" and "List Maker" styles operate. As we mentioned last week, these styles are not good or bad. They are just our unique way of engaging with the world around us. Each of them has strengths and weaknesses. So today you will learn tips on how to manage these two styles and how to identify and work with them on your caregiving team.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Melissa and Robyn launch a three-part series unpacking different time management approaches. These styles or tendencies are not good or bad. They are just our unique way of engaging with the world around us. Each one of them has strengths and weaknesses. Over the next three weeks, we will look at how six different types of time management tendencies affect caregiving. Learn tips on how to manage your own style and how to identify and work with the opposite styles of your caregiving team.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

The Daughters on Fire team has been hard at work developing more courses and tools to help empower caregivers. So while we are away for another week we want to bring you one more popular encore episode. We will be back with you next week with brand new episodes in our Time Management series.  In today's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about how to evaluate home safety for your loved one. From fall risks and fire safety to medication management, find out how your loved one can safely navigate staying at home longer with easy-to-implement tips and suggestions.   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/

In this week's episode, we bring you an encore of a fan-favorite episode with Christine Finnegan. Christine is a music therapist turned mental health counselor and private practice owner. She serves young women at her practice in Nashville called Replenish Her. She has also worked in the past with aging adults in multiple areas of mental health from Alzheimer's disease to depression. Christine talks to us today about the power of music and how it can be used as a tool to help calm us down during times of stress and anxiety.  https://replenishher.com/   Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about the embarrassing but common problem of age-related incontinence. If you are taking care of your loved one on the go you may have to deal with bladder or even bowel accidents. It may sound scary and gross, but you can deal with it if you are prepared. In this episode, we will give you tips and tricks that will help you manage and maybe even avoid accidents on the go.    Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa talk about how to cope with the frustration around having a clingy loved one. Whether it's anxiety or confusion, being the only person that can calm or distract your loved one can be exhausting. It may feel flattering that you are their security blanket, but that can soon turn to you feeling overwhelmed. Listen now to learn how you can change that dynamic.   Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com

In this week's episode, Robyn and Melissa discuss a situation involving a declining patient that was sent to the hospital to treat a health crisis. Was this the best intervention for quality of life? Were there other options available that would have been better? Join us as we peel through the layers of this complicated yet common healthcare dilemma.   Want to be a more empowered caregiver? Check out our Empowered Caregiver Course at https://daughters-on-fire.mykajabi.com/encore   www.daughtersonfire.com www.facebook.com/Daughtersonfirepodcast/ www.connectionfirstcounseling.com