Third Degree Mind

Human interaction can be overloading and overwhelming! Sometimes, that overloading comes in the form of texting. If I am being inundated with texts, and I don't feel like responding, what should I do? Is it wrong to use social media but not respond to text messages? What if the person sees me post on social media but knows I haven't answered their text yet? 

My daughter and I traveled for four days to see the recent total solar eclipse. Four days, for four minutes of totality. Along the way we had some hiccups and delays, all of which are valuable life lessons which I'd love to share with all of you. Four days, Four Minutes, Four Life Lessons.

Good morning, Friends. Today on this Thursday, I'm challenging each and every one of you to STOP blaming your past. We ALL have baggage. If you use that as a justification for how you treat others, or how you handle tough situations, and it's damaging to someone else, STOP! You are turning yourself into a victim, when in reality, you might unintentionally hurt someone else. Your past doesn't have to be an excuse for poor choices. Everyone has a past, but only YOU can make the conscious decision to NOT let that past control you, and define you. YOU are always in control of your own perspective.

Does your relationship suffer from a breakdown in communication? Sometimes we jump to blame the person who won't share their feelings, but sometimes the problem runs deeper than that. If the listener doesn't listen, the talker won't talk.

Last time we talked about THINKING BIG, and today's installment takes that a step further, and reminds you that you have to put those THOUGHTS into ACTION. TAKE ACTION, and turn those ambitions into reality. Last time I had you reach for the stars. Today, I want to make sure you catch one.

This morning, I'm challenging you to widen your horizons, and THINK BIG! Ambition is the key to success!

A roadmap for the future of Third Degree Mind... Introducing The Morning Air regular broadcast. 

Third Degree Mind is back in session, after almost a year of silence. In this episode, learn what it means to own and overcome. It means more than just owning your mistakes. OWN YOUR EMOTIONS, and take the first step towards overcoming the mood swings.

2020 has ended, for good! What's next? How do we look forward? On a smaller scale, how do we get to a point where we live "fully" each week, so that we don't have to strive for that next vacation? Weekends are great... but wouldn't it be awesome if your Monday-Friday were great, too? Listen in for more...

Count your blessings! Sometimes the bad news that surrounds us ends up consuming us. How do we combat this? Simple! Count your blessings!

I hope the next pandemic is World Love... and may it spread like Wildfire...

In today's 3 Morning Minutes, make your own luck! Control your destiny. Don't leave your future and your fate to destiny or "the universe" - you are in charge. You're the author of your own story.

Don't forget to love yourself first! So many people in this world are afraid to be alone, that they will compromise their values and their own worth to be with the wrong person, because they'd rather be with the wrong person, than be alone. Listen to this morning update for 3 minutes of wisdom.

2020 has been a disastrous year for many reasons. For some, it feels like hell. Many of us are left asking the burning question: When Will It All End?

There are lots of heroes on the front lines of the worldwide COVID19 Pandemic. But the pandemic has taken a unique toll on the mental health of these life-sustaining essential workers. We're entering a dark phase in which these amazing, self-sacrificing people are at risk for more than just getting physically sick, but mentally fatigued, exhausted, burnt out, depressed, and in some cases, suicidal. I cannot stress enough the importance of taking care of those who take care of us. Those who work so we can stay home. They are risking their own health (both physical and mental health) in order to keep the rest of us safe.  How can we help them?

The COVID-19 coronavirus international pandemic has caused lots of fear and panic. In this episode, I'm looking at the pandemic situation specifically, and discussing "fear of the unknown," which is perhaps one of the scariest things about this pandemic. For many people, fearing the unknown is the worst kind of fear. Whether it's a viral outbreak, a college student worrying about their future, soon-to-be parents uneasy about the future throughout their first pregnancy, etc. People fear the unknown, and in this episode, I'm discussing how to address and overcome this within yourself. I discuss 5 steps to help you overcome that fear of the unknown, whether it's the uncertain future of COVID-19, or something else.

When you bottle things up inside, you will inevitably explode eventually. How big of an explosion, and how catastrophic and damaging, is all up for debate. It all depends on a variety of factors. I call this the "built-up syndrome." You bottle things up, eventually little things start to irritate you, and you bottle them up, and you start heading for that inevitable explosion. This series of episodes will discuss that idea of the "built-up syndrome" and how you can manage it. In Part 1, I'm sharing a story of what went wrong in my own relationship during 2019, how it led to Built-Up Syndrome, and eventually, an explosion, the demise of that relationship. I also ask for your opinion on several important topics: "Can you be friends with someone after a break-up?" is one of several questions discussed and explored in this release. Please reach out to me with some opinions or experiences of your own regarding this and other questions that I pose in this episode of Third Degree Mind.

Happy New Year, my friends! In the first episode of the year, we'll be talking about New Year's Resolutions, some strategies and planning techniques to help make your Resolution a success - I want you to meet your goal and close out 2020 with a bang in December, not with a whimper in February when you abandon an unrealistic or poorly planned goal. I also want to talk about the importance of self reflection, especially around the season of New Year's. My friends, it's not just about counting your blessings. You really have to be able to take an honest look at where you've been, if you want to develop a plan for where you want to go from here. 2019 might have sucked, but it brought you to where you are now. And what a great place to start in your journey of self improvement. What's your NY Resolution? I challenge you to start from a position of reflection, looking at yourself and your world, where you stand right now, where you've been over the last year, or 5 years, or 10 years. Use that as your starting point for the direction you want to take you life next, because I truly believe that's the only way you can create a true NY Resolution, one that will last, and take you where you want to go. One of my favorite motivational speakers when I was in high school told me to "Dream Big, Work Hard, and Make a Difference.

Find your own identity. Don't allow someone else's identity to become your own.

Two main topics today... First segment we discuss some life choices, and making sure we make choices that impact others in a positive manner, while improving our own quality of life. In the second segment, I talk about medications for mental illnesses, as I've received numerous questions on this topic from our listening audience. I'm going to begin exploring this topic in future episodes as well - starting today with the prevalence of mentally ill people refusing medications.

A Father’s Love is like none other. It’s not a “bonus” to have a good father, it’s a necessity. I hope you had the opportunity to wish your Father (biological or not) a happy Father’s Day.  Also in this episode, a message from Justin Furstenfeld of Blue October about the daily struggles of depression, and the importance of making the choice to overcome. Recovery is a daily choice. It’s not easy, but it is simple.

Life keeps moving whether you're living it, or sitting on the sidelines as a casual observer. There is no pause button for you to press while you line up your priorities, it just keeps going. We keep getting older. Every minute that goes by, is one less minute that you have left. Life goes faster than you think, so don't blink.

Just a short update.... yes we're still here. Third Degree Mind is not being discontinued, we just take some hiatuses once in a while, but we are still here. Today's quick update has a message from Jeremy Anderson about your own individual worth, and never forgetting that you have value. Start your week off on the right foot with this inspirational message.

Everyone goes through times in life where someone else hurts them. Everyone gets betrayed, screwed over, mistreated. It happens to the best of us, and it happens all the time. It's simply a part of life, and life is never easy. How we handle these situations is key to our happiness. If we walk around constantly blaming others for what they did to us (even when it is truly THEIR fault), we get stuck in "victim mode," and victim mode is nothing but suffering. We have to be willing to accept responsibility, not for whatever it is that hurt us, but for our own happiness and our own heart. It's my life, my happiness, my heart, and I'm the only one who has the power to make myself happy. Own it, be accountable for your emotions, and seize the power you already have to make yourself happy, and give yourself the life you want to have. Yes, someone else might have wronged you. But what's done is done. You can't walk around in constant victim mode, or you'll never be happy.

It's February 11.... so what? It's the first birthday of Third Degree Mind Podcast!

When the stress of life hits us hard, sometimes we have to hit that reset button and escape some of the realities of life, which can be challenging sometimes. Everyone has to escape their reality and stress but sometimes that's easier said than done. How do we escape our mundane or repetitive routine, and hit that "reset" button"? If we want to impact people and grow our influence, we have to take care of ourselves first, which sometimes requires hitting that "reset" button. But exactly how do we accomplish that? I don't have all the answers, but I might have a few...

We Are Defined By Our Choices. Own the choices you made in your past, and OVERCOME the consequences, good or bad. Choices you make today will form who you become in the future. And you only get one life, one shot, one ultimate chance. Make the choices today that will create the person you want to be tomorrow. 5 years from now. 10 years from now. 50 years from now.

Last time we talked about Insecurities and how they will destroy you. Today's main topic follows that theme with another thing that will destroy you: REGRET. Love who you are today, and smile. Regardless of what kind of pain your past may be filled with, love yourself. Good, bad, or indifferent. All those collective experiences through the years are what make YOU. It’s what makes you unique. It’s what makes you someone special to someone else, even if (like in my case), you don’t have that special someone yet. Embrace your past, smile, and keep moving forward, knowing that you’re stronger because of the pain, you’re wiser because of the heartbreak, and you’re beautiful because of the scars of life.

All of us have insecurities, usually from our past experiences. If you've been cheated on before, you have a harder time trusting someone new, and might think they're cheating on you, even when they're not. That insecurity has the power to destroy, if you let it. We have to find a way to recognize it, and keep it in check, or you'll never be happy. In order to be happy, you have to be willing to set that insecurity aside, and put yourself out there, make yourself vulnerable. Take risks. Those who never risk anything, will never win anything. I asked for your advice and feedback on Christmas Eve. In this episode I share some of the responses that I got, and I'll share the final decisions that I made.

For Christmas this year, Santa brought me some intensely scary emotions, a few turbulent relationships, and of course, no solution. Listen to this brief 15 minute update on the basics of the mess I found myself in, and if you have any solutions, contact me on the Facebook page (Third Degree Mind), or email borderline750@gmail.com Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Yup, you read that right, I'm skipping Christmas. Sometimes, situations that we're put in cause us to go into a sense of "emotion overload" that sometimes require some unwinding time, and a "soft reset." We're also discussing impulsive behaviors, and specifically WHY some people feel the need to make impulsive "on the fly" decisions. If you know someone like this, rather than judging their impulsive behaviors, and rather than just simply "accepting" them, try to understand the deeper reasons for that behavior. I'll tell you about mine... Have a happy and SAFE holiday season, and I'll talk to you in 2019.

Way back in February, we had an episode titled "True Happiness" - it was the second episode put out by Third Degree Mind. Finally, 10 months later, here is a sequel in that series. How is true happiness achieved? You may be surprised to learn that SADNESS actually plays a very critical role to achieving true happiness.

Life filled with toxicity? Take out the trash. Emotions are contagious, you need to recognize that toxic people have a negative affect on YOUR happiness. Want to be happy? Remove those who aren't.

Sometimes our world experiences a mass tragedy. Be a friend. Don't give unsolicited advice, just listen. Be what THEY need. Everyone has demons. If you need someone, find someone. People will listen. Sometimes, just talking and venting can make us feel a thousand times better. If someone is venting to you, be that friend. Don't push them aside and tell them to "go talk to someone." They're talking to YOU. They trust YOU. Be that friend they so desperately need.

Life is a collection of experiences, both good and bad, and those experiences shape who we are. There are no "mistakes" as you learn from each of those experiences. A mistake means you should not have done something: but everything we do, every decision we make, is part of who you are, and provides priceless life lessons. We're also going to start talking about some phobias, anxieties, and other things that cause stress in life. Some of them are "expected" based on a person's past experiences or trauma they've gone through, and others are just plain random and unique. We'll be starting this topic today, and discussing more phobias next time also.

Trauma and stress affects everyone differently. How we handle it and grow from it affects the type of person we will become. This week's episode features an interview with Amy, who has a story of a trauma she experienced as a child, and how it continued to affect her as a young adult, and even today. What she experienced as a child taught her valuable life skills and gave her a unique perspective on life and what matters. Last month, she experienced more trauma and more tragedy, and she applied what she learned as a child to keep going, and now has an amazing story to share.

Are you in a bad situation? Having a rough day? A rough week? Maybe longer? Life throws all kinds of bad things at us, every day brings with it some new challenges. That's true for all of us. How you handle those situations, is up to you. You are in control of your own emotional responsess to difficulties. Some people own & overcome them, some people whine about them. Which type of person would you rather be?

Maintaining happiness and a balanced life is not unlike having your house professionally cleaned once in a while. Sometimes you need a little help. Sometimes you need to talk to someone. Whether it's a friend, family member, or an actual professional, it's OK to involve other people once in a while to help you with life's problems. But don't rely on these people, because they are really only short-term solutions. You still have to keep your house clean between those professional cleanings, and you are responsible for your life and your happiness in the long-term. Yes, other people can help, but it's ultimately up to YOU. Make it what you want it to be! You can't control the world outside, and we all know how shitty the world is. Control what you can, control your own life. You are in charge, you have the power. Make your house look how you want it to look. Make your life look how you want it to look.

Distractions have the power to compromise our identity... but only if we let them. They compromise who we are, because we allow them to take over our mind. This week I talk about some distractions in my life, most notably social media. This is a big one for a lot of people. Rather than sit here and preach about removing social media and Facebook from your life entirely, I'd rather have you just focus on it during a set time each day. Don't let it grip your attention at random points throughout your day, but set aside time somewhere that it can be used, and stick to that schedule. Things like social media take away from your personal identity, because it's a "fake" way to interact with other people and what's going on in the world, rather than focusing on the YOU. I want you to find some other things that allow you to develop and discover who YOU are, like writing. Self expression through writing has been a recurring theme on Third Degree Mind, as it's something that's important to me and I've found great benefits through it in my own personal life, especially since my own diagnosis and acceptance of a personality disorder. Last but not least... I need some help developing the Third Degree Mind studio, where the magic happens. This Podcast is recorded in my home, in a messy storage room, one that I'm going to convert into more of a "studio" feel for producing this Podcast. Help me out with suggestions... It's not just my studio where I sit alone and record, it's the place where this Podcast is produced, with all of you in mind and trying to produce relevant content. Send me some suggestions on what to put on the walls, what to put on the desk, paintings, anything that has anything to do with any of the topics we have or could discuss on the program. Third Degree Mind is not just "my Podcast" of "my story" - it's going to be a group effort. Soooo let's make it happen! Watch the Facebook page in the coming days for photos of the existing "studio" which is in poor condition, and in need of a little TLC!

Last week we talked about making sure you focus on yourself and your own identity. This midweek update builds on that concept and reminds you that one of the most important ways to focus on yourself is to remove or minimize distractions. Figure out where you are spending your time, what's demanding your attention, and then find ways to remove those distractions. Find time where you have no distractions, and do something relaxing and fun. "Me time. We're going to continue to build on this next week.

Being single is tough. It's hard to be content with life when you're alone. We are relational beings, which means humans like relationships. We thrive on them. To be alone is contradictory to nature. And yet, so many people are dissatisfied with their current relationship status. Either they're alone and wish they had someone, or they do have someone, but they aren't fully satisfied with that relationship. Maybe they are just miserable, or they're afraid to leave because they think it's better to be with SOMEONE (even the wrong someone) than to be alone. This is not an uncommon fear. What are the "rules" to being single, and why is it important to spend time getting to know yourself, before trying to dive into a relationship or commitment?

We live in a highly digital world, one which sometimes controls our every move. We rely on our smart phones and social media, and sometimes we leave behind those who are important to us. We forget how to connect with real people, and we forget to show those people that we love them. And then, one day, they might be gone, and we're left feeling regret that we didn't spend enough time with them. This week's topic follows the last episode on grief and loss, and touches on some of the same principles of living now, and telling them that you love them today, because tomorrow, the opportunity might be gone forever.

Have you experienced the loss of a loved one? Most of us have, at one point or another. This episode of Third Degree Mind addresses the topics of Grief & Loss, and living with that heartache. The loss of a loved one leaves us feeling helpless and alone, like a gaping hole in our chest, gripping your soul, threatening to consume you from the inside out. It's one of the most painful emotions we as humans experience. This topic is an important one because it addresses something that we all experience multiple times throughout our lives, and everyone copes with it differently. It's important to understand what someone goes through when they lose someone, and it's important to think about strategies for moving past it. We might never get over loss, and we'll experience grief over and over again, but we do have to find a way to move on in our own lives. Isn't that what your loved one would want you to do?

The episode released earlier today still has some audio issues... many of the same audio glitches that caused Third Degree Mind to go silent over the last 5 or so weeks. The partial good news is that the audio problems seem to resolve at about 20 minutes into the episode, so if you want to either deal with the audio in the beginning, or skip ahead to about 20 minutes, I believe the rest of the episode is bearable. Thanks for bearing with me as I work through these recording issues....

Are you second best in someone else's life? There are no consolation prizes. You need to live right now, in the present moment, without worrying about convincing someone else that you are worthy of their time and energy. Don't waste your life away. Don't be that one who wakes up one day, maybe 50 years from now, wishing you had done all these things in life, but didn't. Start your life NOW. Live in the present moment, because you don't know what tomorrow brings, and life offers no guarantees. Overcome your past, and move your "future plans" into the present moment. I promise, you will never meet a strong person with an easy past. UPDATE: I am aware of the audio glitches in the beginning... the first 20 or so minutes have terrible audio, I'm still trying to figure out why... If it's too unbearable, skip to about 20 minutes and it improves.

"If you run, I'll run faster. If you leave me, I'll leave first. I'll push you away, but don't ever leave me." Borderline Personality Disorder causes many odd behaviors and thoughts, one of them is this intense fear of abandonment. Beyond the simple fear of abandonment is a person who will take drastic measures to avoid feeling like they are being abandoned, even to the point of pushing away that very person they desperately want to stay. In this episode, I tell a few stories in my own life of how I felt abandoned in a given moment, how I reacted (sometimes drastically), and an overview of abandonment and the related feelings.

Sonder: "The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own." What a fascinating concept. The world does not stop when you have a bad day. And your bad day is just that, one day. The average person lives over 26,000 days... don't let one bad day ruin your life and potential. It's one day. It's YOUR day. And trust me, someone somewhere, is having a harder day than you. Live your life, seize the moment, and make it what you want it to be.

"If you chase a unicorn, you might just catch a donkey with a plunger stuck on his face." Unicorns don't even exist! So why chase them?? And remember the other big quote this week... "Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain." So please, go buy an umbrella, forget the lottery tickets, and let that unicorn go! 

It's Thursday, and it's time for another midweek update. Unfortunately this midweek update comes with bad news... at least for the listeners who are anxiously awaiting the next release (haha - the four of you). I'll be on vacation this upcoming weekend, so no release coming this weekend. The following week, we'll be continuing the conversation on family and upbrgining, and introducing another tangent to that idea, Abandonment. Feelings of being abandoned are both common and intense for someone with BPD, and those feelings are detrimental to all kinds of relationships: intimate, family, friends, etc. How do you recognize these feelings? What do they look like? How can we respond to these out of control feelings, without blowing up our existing relationships?

Everyone's personality is dependent on a number of things. Who you become in adulthood is greatly influenced by who you were as a child and teen. Your upbringing plays an important role on all of this. In order to "become who you were meant to be," you have to take an honest look at your past and examine what different things impacted who you became. Every personality trait comes from somewhere. I think one of the most important influential factors on your personality is your family dynamics: how you were treated by your family, how you treated your family, how you interact with them, how you fit into the bigger picture of your family unit, etc. All of these things impact who you became, and you are today. If you don't like who you are today, one thing you have to do at a certain point is come to terms with WHY you are that way. Our family upbringing gave us some good traits, and some bad traits. Recognizing the root of those personality traits can be hugely beneficial to understanding yourself, and being who you want to be.

Preview of this upcoming week... we'll be discussing a few different topics. One thing we'll be exploring this upcoming week is family dynamics, and how it influences your ability to relate with people. How you treat family members, how they treat you, how you interact with them, what you think of them... all these factors from your childhood all the way into adulthood will affect the person you grow up to become. Also a reminder to listen to last week's episode and do that writing prompt! Pick a song that speaks to you, and write about it, without actually listening to it. Imagine the song, and then write about it. I'm going to talk more about that this upcoming week. Until then... have a great rest of your week!