Waking Kitchen Nightmares

The Ramsay boys are back for season 2— and they're in love! But more importantly, they visited Gordon's 3 michelin star restaurant and ate fancy little fruit pastilles. But which is better, one of the most highly regarded restaurants in British history, or Street Pizza? And which did Luke prefer, true love, or a tasty little risotto???

Happy Pride, nightmare wakers! This week, Hamish and Luke are joined by superstar actor Tom Lenk to dig into the queerer side of the "early 2000s chaotic stranger fixes your life" genre of reality TV. We're talking aquarobics, flip phones and Britney Spears neckties in this special, pride episode!

It's called Humble Pie, it has a crazy cover, and it's... good?!? Gather round the fire and dust off your audible credits for our first ever Gordon Ramsay book club, where we discuss the 3-hour audiobook experience that is Gordon's autobiography.

What do you call a Pizza Hut with no pizza? Mangia Mangia! This week Luke and Hamish are joined by comedian Tara Boland to chat domestic conflict, drug abuse, and drive through spaghetti!   It's a journey!

We've missed a few episodes?!? Uh oh. In this special catch up variety show, Hamish and Luke chat about our schedules, pay a surprise visit to the Amazon listing for Gordon's Autobiography, catch up on Episode 2 of Future Food Stars PLUS Hamish reports his direct personal experience of eating in a Kitchen Nightmares USA establishment.  What more could you ask for?!? 

Luke and Hamish are on a detour to Cornwall this week to check out Gordon's latest show Future Food Stars— but is the title a sweary pun? Why did Gordon enter on a helicopter? And is this the new Gordon series that they might actually watch more episodes of?!?

Friend and improviser Lora Hristova joins the boys for a trip back to home shores for another episode of Kitchen Nightmares UK— Clubway 41, a restaurant that looks slightly more like a strip club than every other shopfront surrounding it! They get deep into production theories, stuffed orangutans, and whether or not Bobo the clown's lip liner is coming back into fashion. 

Gordon once again leaves his comfort zone of burgers and pizza, and Luke and Hamish are there to be his emotional support— joined by very special guest and very competent researcher Abe Abraham! Is Sushi Pizza as bad as the youtube thumbnails suggest? Does Akira say any words the entire episode? And why is a Star Trek luminary slumming it at a sushi restaurant?!? PLUS: A special report from Waking KN Fan Hannah on the status of Karen and Town's Inn!

This week, the boys are joined by Geoff Lapid to discuss the most quietly tearful episode of Kitchen Nightmares yet!  How do you run a restaurant with only 13 menus? Are they actually serving box mac and cheese? And will the waitresses be able to finish their smoke break in time to open for dinner service?! 

This week, Luke and Hamish are joined by hilarious improviser Dom to tackle Spanish Pavilion— an episode where a man a man gets pushed in a kitchen, something that gave Luke an actual nightmare the night after recording.  They discuss familial trauma, lobster trauma, and a father who turns out to not be dead actually— a classic Kitchen Nightmares!

What's that smell? Is it a new episode of Waking Kitchen Nightmares? No, it's leaking sewage— a problem with this week's restaurant that Gordon will never solve or mention again.  This week, Luke and Hamish are joined by Jack Bernhardt to exorcise the ghosts from this haunted fish house.

New year, new trauma! The boys are back, joined by hilarious comedian Lola-Rose Maxwell, as they delve into an episode of Hotel Hell filled with complex characters and terrifying business cards. Is it acceptable to fill a wall with scouring pads? Does Gordon know what a painting is? And what does his little science machine actually measure?

This week Luke and Hamish are joined by Icelandic comedian Laufey Haralds to talk Park's Edge. They discuss Laufey's hatred of Gordon, flaming asparagus, and whether or not an extremely sad-looking little girl is a paid extra.

This week, Luke and Hamish are joined by comedian Kat Bond to eat some potatoes with a side of fries at The Hot Potato Cafe— a potato themed restaurant... or is it? Gordon seems to think so, despite that not being a thing? They talk potatoes, potatoes, and more potatoes. Plus— what causes Gordon to walk out for the first time ever??? (Nothing. Nothing causes it. And he comes right back

This week, Luke and Hamish are joined by returning guest Hannah Brissenden to check out Casa Roma, an Italian restaurant with a disgusting, windowless bar attached. They discuss whether or not the chef is an actor, Luke's theory that the owner is trying to become Gordon, and how Gordon goes where he never has before... the bathroom.

Luke and Hamish are joined by gay wrestling icon Effy to propose many MANY conspiracy theories about Le Bistro. Is Andy the chef Gordon' old friend? His truest enemy? Is the whole thing a PR exercise? Is the food GOOD?! And just how close to the water is this restaurant anyway?    

This week Luke and Hamish are joined by Lottie Field to continue mining the rich vein of season 1. And they're rewarded with a premium freak out. But WHEN did it happen?! Is anything in this episode shown in the right order? Follow the pants!!! They talk big hats, big emotions, and big IMDB deep dives.

This week Hamish and Luke take a look at Gordon's cameos in animated TV and Film.  Is Gordon more believable as Gerald Oxley, Bolton Grammercy, or Baker Smurf? How do six different character designers interpret his forehead wrinkles? And is Gordon the first person to say Fuck on The Simpsons?!

*Fiddle Music Intensifies* This week the boys are joined by Conor Leech to discuss the VERY IRISH Finn McCool's.  Luke and Conor drag Hamish for being a coloniser, explore the seedy rumours of planted Kitchen Nightmares participants, and discuss a facial hair style that is practically an episode unto itself.

This week, we are joined by actual Super Nanny Kathryn Higgins to discuss Super Nanny USA— a show just like Kitchen Nightmares, except instead of horrible restaurants, they fix horrible kids! We discuss whether or not children should hold knives, how stationary can fix any family, and Jo Frost's unasseptable impression of a five year old walking!

For their 25th anniversary, Luke and Hamish are joined by writer extraordinaire Brydie Lee-Kennedy to discuss a film that caused both of them to scream aloud— Love's Kitchen. Or is it Loves Kitchen? In any case, it's the rom-com """""starring""""" Gordon Ramsay. They get into the awkward chemistry, the awkward kid, the awkward subplots and a magic trifle made entirely of whipped cream. This is a rom-com (fully available for free on youtube, in an official capacity) that you'll never forget.

The boys are checking back in to Hotel Hell with guest hotelier Jack Oliver Petch to discuss a true, unambiguous villain.  They discuss basement pigs, a ruthless auctioneer, and whether or not it's ok for a room to stink of shit for four months.

The boys are coming home, and who better to welcome them, than Hamish's own brother! This week on the pod, Luke and Hamish look at Momma Cherri's, their first episode of Kitchen Nightmares UK— and the only episode ever where Gordon likes the food! But is Gordon a racist? Can he moonwalk? And is it ok that he calls the restaurant a "fucking caravan of shit"??

This week, the boys are joined by Zach Barack, the STAR of Hamish's upcoming Netflix series DEADENDIA to discuss Cafe 36, the first boring episode of Kitchen Nightmares USA?!   But are the owners actually ghosts? Or children pretending to be grown ups? And did Gordon really ride that commuter train all the way from Chicago? We get to the bottom of it!

This week, Luke and Hamish are joined by their sister Chloe Godman to discuss sibling relationships, smoking vs. drinking, and how to seduce Gordon Ramsay.

This week Luke and Hamish are going back to the start (almost!) with another season one extravaganza. Is this the filthiest restaurant they've covered yet? Why is GQ India's "hottest man" slumming it in this New York eatery? And can guest Ishan Ganjoor explain why the restaurant is covered in loosely hung white sheets as though it died and became a ghost?!

This week the boys are joined by Omar Najam, as they travel to the Old Neighbourhood to meet Kitchen Nightmares' newest star: Fiona the handless mannequin. They discuss filth, filth and more filth. Plus, Hamish reveals a conspiracy theory that everything in the restaurant is actually fine.

This week Luke and Hamish are joined by novelist and podcaster Caroline O'Donoghue to sample the best pizzeria in Denver (that happens to have a scary clown hologram on their wall??). They chat giant calzones, a misogynistic trip to Vegas, and the reasons that Gordon Ramsay is a feminist icon.

This week the boys are going back in time to Kitchen Nightmares USA's pilot episode with the help of Ambika Mod.  They discuss multiple (!) street fights, a largme man anmed Pizza Pasta, and attend both a family fun day and an exorcism within two minutes of screen time.

Lydia is back! To talk about another two-part episode, where Gordon contends with an angry man who cares too much about meat.  The boys discuss the tyranny of name-tags, the awfulness of drop ceilings and ask the question: What is an elk, actually? Also, why did Gordon want us to think that the owner has sex with a goat?

The boys went on a date! To an establishment that serves delicious! Fresh! Local! Stunning! Pizza! That's right, this week on the pod, Luke and Hamish took a field trip to "Street Pizza —Gordon Ramsey—", and boy do they have a lot to say. They bite into the form and function of bottomless pizza, the style and substance of the staff uniforms, and the fact that Hamish arrived on a private Uber boat. 

This week the boys are off on another holiday to Hotel Hell— but will they survive the ghosts in this definitely haunted hotel? Or the owner who can get "very physically violent"? Or the smell of dog piss? With the help of Dan Kelly, they break down the Sherlock Holmes impressions, the wedding planner's chunky highlights, and whether or not you should consult your partner before buying a hotel.

This week, the gang is checking out Nino's— and episode they mostly know from a gif. They chat half-and-half meals, why an adult would take photos of himself cleaning a restaurant, and find out just which angry, sweaty man is in fact Nino.

Hey hons! This week Luke and Hamish are off to Baltimore to learn how to pronounce the word "hon" with the queen hon herself Liz Guterbock. Hon! They talk angry morning DJs, discover who originated hon culture, and wonder whether or not Gordon has ever heard of John Waters.  Also, is this all really taking place in the same city as The Wire?!

This week Hamish and Luke are tackling Down City, perhaps the most canonically queer episode of Kitchen Nightmares USA, though the bar is not exactly high. They are joined by the incredible writer and youtuber Matt Baume. They talk queer representation in reality tv, whether or not restaurants should serve corn, and the hateful way we dressed servers in the early 2000s

The boys are going on a holiday— this week we're taking a trip to the sunny Costa Del Sol for Kitchen Nightmares' Spain-based UK spin off. But does this episode star UK Gordon, US Gordon, or the all-new Spanish Gordon? And is Mayfair the worst restaurant we're seen so far? Yes! Just thinking about it makes me want to scream!

Luke and Hamish are joined by Mia Resella to break down Prohibition Grille, a restaurant owned by one of the most compelling screen presences of the 21st century: Rishi. They discuss salmon spirals, Gordon locking himself in a fridge, and how to dress when you're attending a Britney Spears Fancy Dress Concert Party.

Hamish and Luke are joined by actual reality TV producer Florence Mercer to discuss Yanni's Greek Restaurant, an eatery in Seattle, a city where people drink coffee. They discuss reality TV casting, how much crying is too much crying, and when it's appropriate to have extremely old chicken in your fridge (it's not like you're going to serve it!!!)

This week Luke and Hamish are joined by Broadway legend, actual New Yorker and Kitchen Nightmares super stan Alex Brightman to break down Brooklyn eatery Mama Maria's... or is it, Sal's Pizzeria?  They discuss Kitchen Nightmares' theatrical parallels, the nightmare of being clumsy on reality TV, and a new sign that made all three of them actually scream out loud.

This week Luke and Hamish go guestless to talk about Gordon's new mega-flop gameshow Bank Balance.  They talk about how the game makes no sense, why the contestants are so confused, and why Gordon is powerless outside of a kitchen.

The boys take a day trip to Hotel Hell, Kitchen Nightmare's spin-off show, where Gordon uses a blacklight to see cum stains! In this episode they are joined by comedian Matty Hutson, to discuss fake food trucks, awful pool areas, and the world's most glamorous Cher impersonator?!

Luke and Hamish tackle the big one, the white whale, the brass ring of Kitchen Nightmares USA— Amy's Baking Company, AKA "the one where Gordon walks out". But which is more upsetting, terrible workplace behaviour, or extremely wack memes from 2012? They're joined by Hamish's brother Rory, because an episode this monumental required— in Hamish's words— a second Hamish.

Hamish and Luke take journey to Eagle Rock California, to discover once and for all if twins really exist. On the way, they discuss pizza, punching, and KN's cruel music choices. This week they're joined by the hilarious Laura Riseborough).

Luke and Hamish are joined by Kitchen Nightmares historian Lydia Butz, as they delve into the multi-episode odyssey that is The Burger Kitchen. They discuss wagyu beef, 2010s fashion, and a man who wrote a book called Gentle Satan.

Our intrepid trash chefs Luke and Hamish dig into season 6 episode 5 of Kitchen Nightmares US— Barefoot Bob's, with the help of hilarious improviser and playwright Doug Crossley.