Wine for Sophisticated Homies podcast

Over the many illustrious years that this podcast has been in existence, we've avoided interviewing any real people. Because real people, like Warhol's art subjects, are actually quite boring. Enter Molly Brooks. Molly is a sommelier/industry extrordinaire from the sumptuously sunshiny San Diego area and I believe you'll find her as remarkably interesting as I do. I'm not interested in interviewing boring people. Enjoy the exception:  The wickedly intelligent, provocatively well-spoken, Molly Muthalovin' Brooks.    

On this episode, grab your tiny, tulip glasses and seat your rump on a seaside stump. It's time to learn all about Sherry. Tap some ass and order some tapas and tap a short glass of all that is encompassed within this illustrious return to podcasting form. Jason's back, ya'll.     

On this episode, Sommelier Extraordinaire and avid TV watcher, Jason Booth, puts on his critical pants and does a thorough review of the new Starz television show 'Sweetbitter' based on the Stephanie Danler novel of the same name. The novel is called 'Sweetbitter', not 'Of the Same Name', though if there were a novel called that, my intense hope would be for it to be made into a TV show for the sheer fun of the double entendre. On this episode, I use the all of the meanings for all of the words (segue) to roll right over the idiocy included therein. Nothing is sharper than a clever tongue (other than an eyelid papercut) Enjoy the savagery of my Hotcake Hot Takes.  And check out our sponsor: WineAccess.com/Homies for a 20 percent discount on holiday wine gift purchases. Strømpebukser!

The Court of Master Sommeliers Cheating Scandal in all its glory and subterfuge.

On this episode Jason is wearing a long, sheepskin turtleneck and pouring lemony water all over his body. Why? To be thematic, ya dumb-dumbs. This is the Sémillon podcast and no, he won't apologize for it. *Snap, Snap, Snap!*      

On this episode, Jason teaches the homies what each grape contributes to the final product of the famous Bordeaux Blend. He also uses way too many metaphors and similes and probably exhausts that family member in your car that doesn't want to listen to another one of these episodes but you're making them anyway because you have a quirkier sense of humor than they do and you just had to sit through their entire Post Malone album. Also, please check out our sponsor: www.wineaccess.com/homies to get 20% off on all wine purchases and, trust me on this peacocks, they've got some hole-in-the-wall stunners that'll really please the hole-in-your-face; or maybe, just that favorite holy man in your life looking to pump up the communion wine list at your favorite hipster mega-church. Whatevs--this shiz is bananas. Use my promo code and drink up me hearties, yo ho.   OKAY GOODBYE THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS I REALLY APPRECIATE HOW BORED YOU MUST BE I'M NOT YOUR MOM YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. 

Apples! Get ya alcoholic Apples, HEEEYA! On this episode Jason teaches you all about apple cider. Why? I dunno. Why not?    

First and foremost: Go to www.WineAccess.com/HOMIES to received a limited time offer of 20% off all purchases thanks to this very podcast. YOU'RE WELCOME. Wine Access features hard-to-find bottlings with some big name stunners mixed in that have all been specially selected by people with X-Men like palates. DON'T BELIEVE ME? Then you're an idiot and you simply can't be helped, get out of my life. Once again that's www.WineAccess.com/HOMIES. On this historically momentous episode of Wine for Sophisticated Homies, Jason teaches you all about the Finger Lakes AVA in the state of New York, which, as you know, is a concrete jungle where dreams are made of...there's nothing you can't do. And that includes wine-making in the northern parts of the state. Slate-driven Riesling of a dry ilk? Yeah, they've got that. And I've got the facts. So let's get factual, Homies.   Also Cats, with skills.   Catskills.  

This podcast was discovered in an amber egg, from the DNA of a hipster mosquito that was trapped there for years...like...since 2011. I used science to get the cool ass audio shit out and download it iTunes. I know you guys want to hunt for your podcasts...not be fed. So hunt out all of the references in this one if you're hungry for some Jurassic knowledge on this ancient wine growing region of Georgia. The results will be eighty-seven percent more entertaining than both of the last two Chris Pratt-led movies. So says the Tophatted King.

Welcome to our first Rosé podcast.   NOT! If you even read these descriptions you'll know that this entire episode is an elaborate trap to get you to learn about an entirely different subject. And what would that be? Well, I don't want to ruin it, but...let's just say that the Band is All here.  The BAND is ALL here.  Eh? Ehhhhh?  Welcome to a W4SH Shyamalan twist. Hope you're able to pick up all the pieces of your brain from the floor after it was blown to pieces.  ShaKlamaLamaBlamo as the best con artists are known are know to say. ShaKlamaLamaBlamo.    

This is hardly a full length episode. Rather, this is merely an introspection. A research tangent. A dangling participle. Some words mean many things. Some words deserve a little more attention than others. And here we find 'Tannin' on the examination table. Jolly Good.    

On this episode, Internationally famous Symbologist/ Enologist Chase Maxwell finds himself on a race against the clock to solve the murder of a famous Barolo winemaker before it's too late. Murder. Sex. Intrigue. Wine. It's all here. It always is.   

Metal credit cards weighing you down? Don't worry, Jason is here to help.  On this episode of W4SH, we teach you all about the most expensive food items of the restaurant world, and then we help you figure out what you should be drinking with those edible extravagances. You might have to slow this episode down to catch the sheer amount of references and amazing recommendations that are presented here for you. Listen to this episode while tapping your Sperry's on the deck of your Blohm+Voss.  You're welcome blue collar criminals. You're welcome rap game pimps. You're welcome guy that forgot to ask the price of the specials. The Wine Homies pedagogy reigns supreme.

It's not always about the shells.  Sometimes it's about the distilled fermented grape juice from South America.  Whether you Peruse Peruvian or Chillax Chilean, we got the Pisco for your Achin'.  On this episode Jason spits hot fire water as he teaches you all there is to be taughten about grammar and Brandywine. Sit back and kick back with the power of your sour.  This is the Pisco hour. 

On this episode Jason helps you with some holiday gift ideas for the wine and alcohol lovers in your life. Aw shucks Jason, that's real helpful. Thanks buddy.     

Muscat is a grape that Jason talks about on this podcast.  You are a person that downloads and listens to his tutelage.  Tutelage is a funny word if you pronounce it like it's a French winemaking technique.  All of these things are relevant. Why? The secrets are on Orion's Belt.  MUSCAT PODCAST ZIGGA ZIG AH! 

The Beqaa Valley, also known as the Bekaa Valley and, occasionally, The Phoenician Mother Lovin' Pimp Zone, just so happens to be the best spot for wine in all of the Middle East.  As long as you don't mind military struggles, religious infighting, and the occasional bunker buster or tank near your wine tasting room, then you should be ready to go.  Listen to this podcast with some mezze and it'll be less falawful. Or just listen to it regardless. But. . .really listen. Not everyone makes wine in the safely golden hills of Napa. Some toil amidst the conflict.  And so we toil to bring you their stories. So pop your Merwah and let's get to the learning. HEEYAHHH!  

Macabeo, or Viura if ya nasty, is a handy little white grape from the North of Spain and the South of France.  Mostly.  One-third of the 'Cava Girls Trio' (a Motown band made up of three wine grapes, they can't sing but man, what a concept, eh?!), this grape felt like it deserved its own stand-alone episode (we'll see).    On this new dose of audio adrenaline (the experience you get from listening to W4SH, not the Christian band), Jason takes you into a dreamscape you didn't even know your psyche was developing all surrounding the Macabeo grape.  Enjoy this with ya homeboys.  Enjoy this with ya shady ladies.  Enjoy this with ya shnozzchompers (you know who they are).  

On this episode, we take you into the near future and show you what has become of the world of wine and the sommelier profession.  A stark world, for sure, but not one without hope.     

On this episode, Jason gets straight up literaturageous.  You like stories? Cuz that's what this is.  So grab some mother fluffin' pillows and blankets and chocolate chip cookies and curl up by your tiny apartment space heater and give your brain a good stroke.    

What do you call a fly that won't stop buzzing around Guatama Buddha?  A Buddha pest.  What do you call it when someone checks out someone's butt and decides it's not for them?  A Booty Passed.   What do you call the capital of Hungary?  Budapest.    What do these things all have in common?  Find out (maybe), on this episode of Wine for Sophisticated Homies.  The info here is straight up royal, and we'd love nothing more than for you to send your most fertile women to listen to every, marvelous moment.  We teach you all the Hungarian wine stuff.  And who doesn't love that?!  You know who doesn't love that?  Extremists.  And uh...pacifists.  And uh, probably, also, like, messaging board moderators.  So listen to this podcast and find your social status immediately improved.  If you don't listen, I'm going to pop this balloon that I painted a really sad face onto...and that's the LAST THING THAT ANYBODY WANTS!!! 

You just worked a 50 hour week and you're ready to loosen your tie and go bar hopping in Seoul?  Well then you should probably know what you're getting yourself into.  On this episode we go DEEP on Soju.  If you always wanted to dive further into Korea's national alcoholic beverage but haven't known where to start, well, this podcast will be your divining rod.  Gather around with your elders homies, we're distilling up some genius for all your listening needs. 

The Washington episode is finally here.  If you were in the process of tying the knot around your neck because your desperation for this content had become this dire, you can cut the rope, there's no need to kill yourself (YET).  On this episode, Jason Booth, sommelier to the stars, teachers you all about Washington wine:  The grapes, the regions, the wineries, the personalities.  He also goes on way too many tangents and often struggles to include appropriate segues so that you can keep up.  But that's half the fun isn't it?  You don't fall the down the rabbit hole with this podcast so you can be fully aware of what in the hell is going on. Getting lost is half the fun of finding yourself along the way.  This IS the Jabberwocky.   Download this pacific northwest treasure and make your ear-holes go: GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG.   

We've made it all the way to 90 episodes!  You know what that means right?  We're only 17 episodes away from our 107th episode!  Whoa!  On this episode Jason teaches you all about the grape:  Cabernet Franc.  Did you know Cab Franc caused testicular cancer?  IT DOESN'T!  But how would you know that if you didn't listen to this episode?!?!  You wouldn't.  You'd just worry about all the ball cancer you might have.  But now you don't need to.  Because you have episode 90, and it will answer all of the questions your mind can even come close to formulating.  Enjoy this episode Homies.  Show it to your hairdresser.  Learn all about Cabernet Franc and then you won't go into a divorce proceeding unprepared, ever again. 

To switch things up a little this week, Jason decided to do a fun little episode on current wine trends, pop culture, and various vagaries of the beverage and spirits' industries.  Crack open an over-hyped Orphan Barrel whiskey and enjoy some good old chit chat regarding the trending topics in the world of drunkenness and the world at large.  Listen to this episode while running on the treadmill, having a sleepover on the family trampoline, or while your less sophisticated friends are all in the living room watching the latest episode of 'The Real Housewives of Society's Downfall'.  Cheers Homies.

Jura and Savoie.  The grittiest detectives on the Arbois police force...but also, two wine regions worth talking about.  Join us as we regale you with stories of Yellow Wine, Straw Wine, Crazy Wine, Vermouth, Swiss Chalets, and even...that wacky weirdo:  Poulsard.  Enjoy Jason as he stumbles his way through French pronunciations in an attempt to help you learn stuff.  Grab you fondue forks and your note card stacks Homies, it's gonna be one heck of a good time.  And if it isn't a good time, we place the blame squarely on the shoulders of PricewaterhouseCoopers.     

MARSALA!  About time right?  We were sick and tired of people DESPERATELY BEGGING US for a Marsala episode so fine, here, ya happy?  You WILL be once you listen to this incredible podcast that is absolutely brimming with wine, women, and finely haberdashered hat brims.  'Haberdashered' isn't a word you say?  Well...it's my word against yours.  Just try taking me to court.  I doubt they'll even hear your case.  What a stupid thing to go to court for!  Ya know what would be a way cooler reason for going to court?  If it was a Marsala court where all people did was taste Marsala and decide which one they like the best.  Yeah!  That's it!  I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!  And you'll hear me on this podcast.  Cheers you sexy Vergines.

Weed.  Dope.  Reefer.  Chronic.  Pot.  Dope.  Herb.  Wacky Tobaccy.  Sticky Icky.  Giggle Smoke.  Juan Valdez.  The reason you were kicked out of church camp.   We've all got different names for marijuana, and you can call it whatever you'd like.  But maybe you know the synonyms and not the science?  Well, we're here to help you out.  The Wine for Sophisticated Homies proudly present our Marijuana podcast.  We wanted to wait until our 420th episode to do a potcast, but unfortunately, it's becoming way too relevant way too fast and so, here we are.   Now, more than ever, we NEED pot.  And quite a few state governments are starting to agree.  If you're in the industry...this will become an element of our jobs perhaps sooner rather than later.  If you're a bud-tender, we hope to do you proud.  If you're a bartender that sells bud light...we don't need your approval, but we hope you enjoy the episode anyway.  If you're The Ting Tings...whatever happened to you guys?     

On this episode, the Wine Homies teach you how not to be an asshole while dining in a restaurant.  Listen to this to learn if you are already one of those guests that people can't stand.  Better yourself.  Better the world. 

We're Back Homies!  Well, Jason is anyway, but that's okay!  From this point forward we'll be back on track with new episodes.  What are we talking about today?  Rioja.  I know some of you might have reservations about trying Spanish wine...but you should actually have Gran Reservations.  Because these wines are THE SHIZ.  Join us on the Spanish Train and Join Jason for his first solo podcast as he talks to himself all about Rioja wine.  Well, he's talking to you too...but, for the sake of the podcast, he just recorded this in front of a mirror wearing his prettiest hat.  And yes, everyone should own a pretty hat.  

On this very special episode of Wine for Sophisticated Homies, Jason interviews 5 Time Hipster Bartender of the Year, Skip Clappus, from the hottest, literal, underground bar in America:  Abandoned Subway Car.  Join us as we learn the hottest new trends in the Flavor Intertwining (bartending) industry.  After this podcast, you won't feel so self-conscious at that downtown LA bar where everybody you meet is a total asshole.    Learn all about crazy new trends like "Anonymous Bartending" and drinks so revolutionary, even the French would appreciate them.   Flair bartending?  That's cool I guess.  Ya know what's cooler?  Flare bartending, and Skip will tell you all about that.  Get ready for a doozy of a podcast homies.  A really, rumstinkin' doozy.  

On this episode, the wine homies teach you all about the magic that is rosé.  Have you seen this wine, but always been afraid to drink it due to it being, well, you know, a "girly color"?   We get it...it's incredibly difficult sometimes to just be yourself and not care what anyone else thinks.  But now, you have the chance to learn all about it, so that maybe you can be cool and drink it.  Everyone's doing it by the way.  So, listen, and engage. 

Ben talks about New Zealand.    No, I don't feel bad at ALL about how short this description is.  Shove it. 

In this new segment from the Wine for Sophisticated Homies, the boys take you inside the seedy underbelly of restaurants and wine bars for a little taste of some of the personalities we deal with on a nightly basis.  Enjoy these exaggerations, which, it should be said, are not that far off from the truth.      

Some Wineries and Chateaus are famous, and then sometimes, the vineyard ITSELF is famous.  On this episode we break down some of the most famous vineyards in the world where wineries fight to use the name on their bottles.  The terroir on this podcast is too legitimate to quitimate, so pull up a plow, take a squat, and enjoy the learnin' you sun-scorched hand pickers of the season.  

On another illustrious episode of Wine for Sophisticated Homies, these two Pulitzer prize winning podcasters take you inside the burgeoning world of Verdicchio, a wine with such complexity that only the most of serious of podcasts even dare go near it as a topic.   You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll learn, but mostly, you'll grow up a little.  Isn't that what summer camp is really all about?  Enjoy Homies.  

Don't ever forgot to live while engaging in life.     Credit to Gustavo Dudamel and the Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra of Venezuela:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/danzon-no.-2/id522933337?i=522934306 

On this episode we're gettin' saucy.  The Wine for Sophisticated Homies are finally bringing you the Alsace episode wherein you can expect to find great white wines, intense history lessons, high level punnery, and overt sexuality.  Ever wondered what was up with this overly germanic french region?  Prepare to become a learned scholar on everyone's favorite region to invade: Alsace.  You can listen to it now, or, for a real swinging good time, you can lay this podcast down for 15 years and open it when it's at its peak (though keep in mind the pop culture jokes won't translate quite as well).  Cheers to the beginning of another beautiful work week Homies.  Remember, you are all harbingers of pleasure and keepers of the wine key.   

What is an urban winery?  Where is an urban winery?  When is an urban winery?  Now.   On this episode, we go all city on you and teach you about the growing trend of wineries smack dab in the middle of the cities.  So do the dab on over to your local warehouse to snag a bottle from one of these fresh operations and see what the wine has to say.  Our guess?  It'll be something urbane.  

See Last Episode Description.  Part 2.                                             BERNIE SANDERS!!!!!!!

On this episode we bring you Chapter One of a two Chapter saga teaching you all about Natural, Orange, and Underwater Wines.  These three crazes are blowing up all over the place, because the world is full of hipsters.  But you know who else was considered a hipster?  Thomas Edison.  And he invented light...or something like that.  So on this episode, get ready to turn on your thinking caps while we teach you about these crazy new trends.  And the best part?  It's a TWO-PARTER!  Other famous Two Part stories include Kill  Bill, The Hunger Games Mockingjay Money Grab, that guy you know that for whatever reason has two different parts in his hair, and now The Wine For Sophisticated Homies Episode 76.  "2016 is gonna be one hell of a year for brilliant podcasts" --Jason and Ben patting themselves on the back.   

Australia has a lot of great wines and wine regions right?  But did you know about Tasmania?  It's one of seven Aussie wine regions that cover the expanse of the continent.  It's also its own island.  But so is Australia.  So it's an island owned by an island.  Technically every piece of land on the planet is an island.  Why do you we subcategorize islands if even Pangea itself was an island?  Ya know what?  On this episode we'll talk all about Tasmanian wine but also the legal definitions and auspices of islands.  

On this episode the Homies take you inside the seedy underbelly of Mourvèdre fighting rings.  Did you know there are certain regions around the world where this grape is trained as an attack grape and forced to fight other grapes?  Of course you didn't...because that isn't true.  But would you have known that thing that you wouldn't ever even have assumed wasn't true if we didn't tell you it wasn't true.  Now you know something isn't about something you hadn't even thought about.  Learn about other Is's and Isn't's regarding this amazing grape on Episode 74 of the Wine For Sophisticated homies podcast, which is a podcast all about grapes, but which isn't a podcast all about not grapes, or double negatives.  It definitely isn't not a podcast about not double negatives.  

Are you read to learn all about the grape?  Do you think I misspelled the word 'ready' in that first sentence?  Well you'd be wrong.  Do you want to be right about more stuff?  Then listen to this podcast all about the fruit from which thine wine doth come?   Well get ready, Ben and are are about get weird.  And while we get weird?  Well heck and holly, we plan on teaching you some serious vitis vinifera grape shtick.  Learn about the different parts, the zones, and how those parts and zones affect the finished product in the bottle.    We know, we know, this is the podcast topic you've all been screaming and haggling for.  Well save your vocal chords and your snake oil.  Here it is.  The Grape Podcast.  

Pizza was invented in Naples.  You know what goes great with Pizza?  Wine.  You know where the first great wines of the world came from?  Campania.  Pizza and Falernian Wine.  Need I say more?  On this whiz bang episode of Wine for Sophisticated homies, super somms Jason Booth and Ben Draper teach you all about this up-and-coming Italian wine behemoth.  From the red Aglianico, to the royal triumvirate of whites: Greco di Tufo, Fiano di Avellino, and Falanghina, Campania wine is a companion wine.  Drink it with your companions.  You'll thank us later.  Or now if you like...go ahead.  

Did you know Muscadet isn't actually a grape?  Nope, the grape is known as Melon de Bourgogne.  Is the grape from Burgundy?  No.  Is the fruit a melon?  No.  Wanna know these things and more?  Then listen to this podcast you curious little devils!  Sheesh!  Grab a bucket of oysters and settle into your favorite chair on your favorite fishing village deck, cuz we're gonna learn you mother shuckers some serious wine knowledge.  Cheers Homies.  

Grappa?  What is it?  We'll tell you!  Put your headphones in and cozy up to your cat. (Cat's love grappa fyi).  Grappa, much like Rum, comes from leftover crap.  Did you know that when you're done listening to all of our podcasts you can throw them in a still and make a whole new podcast with a higher ABV?  We don't know if that's true, we're just asking if you know if that's true.  Is it?  Is...it?  Enjoy this Grappa podcast homies...use it during your Italian restaurant preshift notes and play it for fun while tooling around piedmonte on a Vespa with a passionate yet understated woman named Francesca.  Cheers. 

On this episod of Ye Old Wine Podcast, the Homies are back with attitude.  Welcome to our sexy episode 69, teaching you all about the wines of Romania.   On this episode we're going to teach you about the 7 unique Romanian wine regions, the major grapes of the country, and the history surrounding this vampire-heavy former eastern bloc up-and-comer.  We know you'll love it because you don't have much of a choice.  Have you seen the alternatives? Megh.  Cheers Homies!  

Sure Piemonte does Nebbiolo and Moscato and Dolcetto and Cortese and Arneis... but do you know what they grow the most of?  Fiat automobiles.  But, if we're only referring to wine...that'd be Barbera.  This podcast will grab your brain and shove barbera facts deep into your cerebellum (let it be known the cerebellum actually just handles muscle control, not fact retention, do not attempt at home).  Ever wonder where Barbera grows, who makes the best versions, and what it pairs with?  We know you haven't, but we're gonna teach you anyway, because we're pedantic and desperate for attention. CHEERS HOMIES!  

On this episode the homies are teaching you all about cigars.  Grab your velvet smoking jacket, your glass of scotch, and your finest beard, and join us as we teach you all about the history, regions, and varieties of Cigars.  We know this isn't a podcast about wine.  But every now and then we simply like to teach you about the finer things in life.  Especially because sommeliers used to have to know about cigars.  Step up your game homies.  It's time to light one up.  

Did you know that Switzerland makes wine? We didn't either, which is gonna make this podcast pretttttty awkward.  Yeahhhhhhhhh.   Ummmm.  Oh WAIT, there are our notes, nevermind we good we good.   On this podcast we teach you all about the grapes, regions, and history of Switzerland.  We'll give you the best opinions we can of the country but it's tough, we're usually pretty neutral when it comes to our Switzerland opinions.  Listen to this podcast while you hike up the Matterhorn, or while you wait in line to ride the Matterhorn, or while you try to figure out what is the matter with your horn (ya know, like, if you're in a brass band with faulty instruments).  CHEERS HOMIES!