You Said What?

April Zambelli-Weiner is a Johns Hopkins-trained epidemiologist-turned-healthcare entrepreneur. She has two kids, both of whom have birth defects. They're older now, but finding care for them when they were younger took on an extra dimension of complexity. When she was looking for an au pair for her daughter, she interviewed a girl in Brazil. This was in the very early days of the Internet-- before the rise of smartphones and way, way before Zoom. There were big language and cultural gaps, and it was almost impossible to do the normal due diligence. But April wound up hiring her, and the experience had a profound impact on both women. On this episode, we also talk about April's company, and why most of the people she hired during the pandemic didn't work out. And we discuss some vital communication skills that they don't teach young leaders but should.

Mike McCarron is a partner at PwC, where he works with clients around the world on complex business transformations. He says the Army and GE, two stops in his career, were both formative for him in teaching him how to be more concise and clear in his communications -- to ditch the flowery language. In the army they sent promising leaders like Mike to a specific school where they mostly just practiced writing military orders, as a way to master brevity and clarity. Other experiences in his career have also shaped his communication style: One of the companies where Mike worked tested a software program aimed at identifying employees that could be a risk to the business, based on their emails. The company ended up not using it, but this experience made Mike think more about what he says and how he says it. In this episode, he and I also talk about empathy—how it was lost on him earlier in his career and why he's done a 180 on it.

James Hagerty is the obituary writer for the Wall St. Journal. He writes three obituaries a week, but they're typically not about the business tycoons, famous inventors, or other kinds of folks that you might think a publication like The Journal would cover. Instead, James has consciously decided to write about interesting, non-famous people. He talks about how he chooses people to write about, why he doesn't like the word ‘obituary,' and why he believes that sometimes it's important to include controversial or unflattering facts in these writeups. James is already working on his own obituary, not because death is near but because he believes we all need to find ways to document our best stories as we're living them -- not wait until we're too old to remember most of those stories with any real clarity.

Mohan Sivaloganathan is the CEO of Our Turn, an organization that works with young people of color to help them get a seat at the table in decisions about the K-12 education system. He describes himself as a “troublemaker for the status quo,” but he didn't always revel in that label. For years, he felt the discomfort of being an outsider. As a young professional at P&G right after college, he almost lost his job because of it. As he works with Gen-Z-ers on the cause of education equity, he sees in them bits of himself 20 years ago. He tries to support them and make sure they feel comfortable in their own skin and with their personal stories. But in part because of his own rough experience assimilating, he also wants to make sure they have context about how the world works -- he lets them know what is expected of them, whether or not it's comfortable for them.

Jon Hilsenrath has covered financial markets and economic policy, including the Fed, for about 25 years at the Wall Street Journal. You name the story, if it has to do with the markets or the economy, Jon has probably written it. He also has a new book out about Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen. We talk about writing the book, as well as what he's learned about communication from years of covering the markets for a finance-obsessed readership, where a stray word here or there can cause the markets to gyrate. Jono is also a dad of three. He says being a father -- and making decisions about how best to communicate with his kids -- has actually taught him how to be a more patient communicator with adults. 

Yes, actions do speak louder than words. And yet we sometimes forget that, believing that the words are the key part of communicating an idea. David Murray, a longtime author and consultant on leadership communications, has a great family story about a time when actions without the words created confusion. He says we should really think about words as just the “captions on our actions,” nothing more. Leaders, he says, convey who they are by the dozens and dozens of actions that they take -- or don't take -- every day: It's really not what they say, it's what they do that shapes their image. David and I also talk about why the prime minister of New Zealand is such a compelling and unique communicator, and the problem with the fact every leader has been told they need an origin story.

Most people think speech writing is about helping speakers decide what to say. But it's also about helping them know what NOT to say. Pete Weissman worked with Al Gore on a speech when the former vice president was considering a second run for the Oval Office. Through that experience, he learned the art of diplomatically rejecting an idea from someone much more powerful than him. In this episode, Pete and I also talk about some of the things— big and small—that are often overlooked but that can make or break a successful speech. For all the changes over the years in how we communicate, it still all comes down to connecting with your audience. And too frequently, Pete says, we try to create one-size-fits-all presentations rather than design them with the actual audience in mind. 

How comfortable are you with risk? When you've got one safe option and another, more precarious but potentially exhilarating one --which do you usually choose? Adam Najberg always wanted to be a foreign correspondent in China, but he had lots of debt and no job lined up there. Then one day, he met a hero of his -- arguably the most famous China correspondent of all time--who told him: ‘Just go. Don't think about it.' So he did. It turned into a 30-year career in Greater China. In this episode, Adam and I talk about how easy it is to overthink things and to fixate on practical matters when dreams are at stake. Adam has gone on to work for some of China's biggest tech companies, and he and I also discuss how that's different from working for a U.S. company.

This is an episode about small talk and the sometimes big role it can play in social interactions. Business people hire Phil Segal to use his legal, forensic accounting and journalistic skills to find out information about current or future partners. Phil is a PI, a private investigator. Sometimes people come to Phil after they've already invested money in something, and they're starting to worry that something might be wrong. He confirms their worst fears: that they've fallen victim to a ponzi scheme. While Phil mines lots of useful information from people's digital footprints -- or in some cases, the lack of them -- small talk is also an important part of how he gathers intelligence. Phil also tells a story about how some small talk at his wedding reception helped save the day.

Dara Pollak is a food influencer and social media strategist. Unlike some other influencers, she's not afraid to talk about her own life outside of food. She started posting pictures of herself -- sometimes with her cat -- when others food influencers only posted pics of the food herself. Then she started posting about her struggles with depression and anxiety. That non-food content hasn't always been a hit with her fans, and she has lost following by straying from food porn. On this episode, she talks about the sometimes complicated relationships influencers have with their followers.

In this episode, Kate O'Neill tells a story about something vital she learned about culture, leadership and people management when she worked at Netflix, where she was one of the first 100 employees. Kate now writes books and gives presentations about the future of human beings in a tech-driven workplace. She talks on the show about how algorithms are now starting to move into decision-making roles, too (so your boss may be a bot!), and why that's problematic. We also discuss what's really spurring the Great Resignation. 

We've all experienced how rewarding it is to talk with a really good listener -- someone who is attentive, curious, interactive --- and how dispiriting it is to talk with people who are only half listening to what we're saying. But so-called “active listening” is way more powerful than most of us have probably imagined. Joel Salinas is a neurologist. He talks about how he discovered that active listening is actually a completely under-appreciated part of the ‘treatment' plan for some patients.  In this episode, Joel also talks about a complex neurological trait that he himself has called synesthesia, which causes him to constantly perceive each of his senses as a mix with one or more of his other senses. So he actually hears colors and tastes sounds.

Wema Hoover has been a global DE&I leader for more than a decade at big companies like Pfizer, Sanofi and Google. So she has spent plenty of time educating people about how to create real diversity and how to make sure everyone in an organization feels truly included. In this episode, she tells the story of a time when she felt excluded—when a male coworker she barely knew came up and started touching her hair, creating a spectacle in the company cafeteria in Paris.

Broadway actor Caesar Samayoa stars in the hit musical Come From Away, which captures what happened in Gander, Newfoundland, on 9/11/2001, as the skies were shut down in the wake of the terrorist attacks.  The town's population of 7,000 suddenly doubled overnight, as the passengers disembarked from 36 planes. It's a moving show, full of deeply emotional scenes but also rich with humor. In this episode of You Said What? Caesar talks about an email he received in the middle of the night from a real-life character that he plays in the musical. It set off an unusual relationship between the two of them.

Elizabeth Bernstein grew up in a very verbal family. But when her dad suffered a stroke during a routine hip surgery, he lost the ability to talk in intelligible phrases and to understand what others were saying. His body still worked fine—he could play badminton and swim—but almost everything he said became ‘word salad'. The family had to develop a different way of communicating for almost two years. It was a profound experience for Elizabeth, who writes a column on relationships for the Wall Street Journal.

Ryan played in the NFL for 10 years and won a Super Bowl with the Broncos. His post-playing career has been just as successful: He is a broadcaster, author, and speaker on the corporate circuit, where he talks about leadership, financial literacy, and other topics. Ryan's communications moment happened over several interactions – “confrontations” may actually be a more appropriate word – with one of his coaches.

This is part-two of my conversation with Bob Bordone, one of the world's top mediation and negotiation experts. Resilience is a hot topic these days. I talk with Bob about a new concept that he's been studying called “conflict resilience.” We also discuss his work helping to restart a dialogue between leaders of the Catholic Church and disaffected parishioners in the wake of the sex abuse scandals.

We seem to have lost the ability to talk with people who have opinions that are different than ours. We either just blast the other person and walk away—or stifle our differences and say nothing. In part one of our conversation with Bob,  one of the world's foremost experts on negotiation and mediation, he shares a story from college that shows how you can ruffle feathers without killing the dialogue.

James lives in New York and he has a light prank that he sometimes pulls on tourists that he sees taking selfies. Most of the time it goes off without a hitch, and all sides end up getting a good chuckle out of it. But one time this past summer, there was a hitch. The picture of the bloody shirt accompanying his Facebook post about the incident told a piece of the story. But there was twist. On this episode, James shares what happened.

Rafat is a pioneer in digital media. He launched his first company in 2002 and sold it six years later, to the Guardian, the big media company in the UK. He was also my boss at that company, called paidContent. But with his second business, called Skift, he hit a funding wall. With three months of cash left, he came clean to his staff about the company's financial condition. And then something unexpected happened.

As a kid, reading Roald Dahl books, Markham had always dreamed of traveling to Africa. After school, he lined up some volunteer work in Tanzania. But just as he was about to leave, he got an email warning him that the guy running the program was shady and the program was a mess. The email advised Markham to abandon the trip. Markham decided to go anyways, and in this episode he talks about what happened. 

Hernan was incarcerated at 15. He remembers being wracked with anger, fear and anxiety during his four years behind bars. But he found a mentor who helped him prepare for life after prison. In this episode, Hernan talks about the rough start to their relationship and shares one particularly emotional conversation they had years later.

What do you do when you get a piece of negative feedback from a colleague or boss? About 10 years ago, someone Carolyn worked with and considered a friend said something that startled her. It helped lead Carolyn to the conclusion that we need more ‘radical candor' in the workplace.

J.P. Pawliw-Fry is an executive coach and expert on emotional intelligence who works with top business leaders. His focus is on performing under pressure. He helps leaders learn how to have difficult conversations—the kind that are so easy to mess up or just avoid altogether. In this episode, J.P. shares a conversation from his own life that he mishandled and that left some scars.

Parents say a lot of things to their kids and, of course, much of it goes in one ear and out the other. But some things stick. In this episode, Kyoko shares a conversation she had with her dad about intelligence when she was eight that has had a big impact on how she navigates the world and the career choices she has made.

How often have you been in a staff meeting when a senior executive is presenting and you know that he or she is leaving out key information or spinning the facts—but you've just nodded along anyways? In this episode, we'll hear from one manager who called out the head of his company in front of hundreds of people.

As the Chief Medical Officer at a hospice agency, Mike works to ensure that his patients are comfortable and at peace in their final days and hours. In this episode, he tells the story of how he handled an unusual final request from one patient.

You Said What? is a podcast produced by Pioneering Collective that explores our life-changing communications moments: interactions (written or spoken) that had a big impact on us, and maybe even changed the way we think about life. What are the most wonderful, disappointing, inspiring, saddest or weirdest conversations or written interchanges you've had and what lingering effect did they have on you? “You Said What?” will dissect the before, during and after of these experiences.