Podcasts about ted you

If you have been around me in the past few months you would have heard me singing the praises of my favorite new show! I have been telling EVERYONE and I do mean everyone about it. From parents at my daughters soccer games, to people at stores, my esthetician and all my friends and family. I'm obsessed! And for good reason, it's a fresh and much needed bringer of joy and love show called Ted Lasso. I can't get enough. Literally. I have watched the premiere 10 episodes so many times I can't even count. It was suggested to me by a friend when I was having one of those particularly rough days that happen in entrepreneurship and it was leading me to an existential crisis of sorts. She gave me kind support and then suggested that I watch the show. It was 9pm and I immediately found it on AppleTV and started watching. I watched straight through all 10 episodes. Sitting in bed with my ipad and headset. My husband came in and went to sleep and I kept watching and finished at 3:30 in the morning. I laughed and I cried and I felt renewed. I had faith in humanity again and I felt inspired to do my best and be my best. Seriously, it was the best pep-talk ever!I have so many favorite moments that I think speak to leadership, striving to be the best, having goals that can at times feel like they defy the odds but there is one that occurs in episode 2 that I think every entrepreneur should have in their arsenal.Ted Lasso delivers his charmingly unique brand of coaching, and a brilliantly simple strategy for keeping your head straight in business when things go wrong. AND THEY WILL!Ted: “You know what the happiest animal on earth is?” Sam: “No” Ted: “A goldfish, you know why? Because it has a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.” When you make a mistake yes you should try to rectify the situation if possible, be honest, be accountable but without a doubt BE A GOLDFISH! Let the weight of the emotion leave you, don't go down a shame spiral but acknowledge and move on. Give yourself ten seconds to feel bad then move forward as the badass biz owner that you know you are. Now I know that sometimes our missteps can have bigger consequences or hit us in a particularly vulnerable area or time so maybe we need more than ten seconds, maybe we need fifteen minutes or an hour or a day. Allow yourself to feel those feelings but then move forward. Don't let mistakes define who you are or what you think about yourself. Then you can try to repair the situation and make any changes necessary to your approach or your systems. So my strategy and hope for you this week is to be a goldfish!If you feel like you could use some extra support about dealing with the emotional side of business such as mindset, overwhelm, adhd and burnout then head on over to amberhawley.com to find more resources and ways to work with me.Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!Here's How »Join The My Biz Bestie Community today:My Biz Bestie FacebookLet's Connect on Instagram

Mary: "You know that scene in Empire when they lower that helmet onto Darth Vader's head? Do you think that is how Sandy puts his hair on in the morning? Ted: "You just insulted someone I hate by referencing something that I love. Damn, you just got even hotter." This week I am joined by Chris and Aaron to discuss Mary the Paralegal! We talk all about moments when we have used jealousy as a weapon, how uncomfortable that award show must have been, and an extraordinary story from Chris that you won't want to miss! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

What do we do when our spouse is doing something that’s driving us crazy? One of the definitions we found is, "minor complaint or irritation that’s more annoying to you than anyone else." We’re not talking about deeper level things, just those little things that drive you nuts.   We found a list of the most common pet peeves:   Toilet seat left up Driving distracted by electronic devices Empty cartons put back in the fridge Leaving clothes on the floor or on a chair in the bedroom Whistling Your spouse telling the same joke over and over and expecting you to laugh Leaving trash in the car Not asking for directions or using the GPS Falling asleep on the sofa instead of going to bed Not putting your keys in the place where you go to get the keys Chewing with your mouth open at the table Chronic lateness Taking the covers at night Squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong part of the tube Leaving stuff in your clothes pockets when it goes to the laundry   Ted and Nancie Lowe Text Exchange Ted: We are talking about pet peeves on the podcast tomorrow. What is something I do that drives you nuts? This is the minor stuff, not the big stuff. Nancie: That sounds like a question designed to hurt somebody’s feelings (especially mine). Ted: You don’t have any and I’m not mentioning them. But I can mention my own.... so what are they my love. Nancie: You break rules. Ted: That hurts my feelings.   So what do we actually do with pet peeves?   A lot of times there is ‘Misattribution’ - This is when you attribute something to the wrong thing or person. You aren’t really the frustration with your spouse; you are frustrated by work and yet attribute to your spouse. It’s thinking, “I feel all this because of them”, not realizing your ‘tank of frustration’ may already be full and it comes out on these small things. On the opposite side is ‘Affective Association’. They did a study where they brought in couples over a few weeks and showed one group images of their spouse interspersed with beautiful things. The other group saw their spouse and then a slide show of neutral images. All the people who saw the first slide show ranked their marriage higher than when they started.     The Truth: How we handle pet peeves matters because silly fights can cause serious damage.   Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”   You can choose to let a pet peeve go or you can talk to them in a way that is loving and encouraging.  We all know we do some things that drive our spouse crazy and we want to be treated this way. How you do this depends on your relationship – it may be playful or more serious. For some people, the humor really helps. For others it may just be talking about it in a softer way.   Your one simple thing for this week: When it comes to your spouse’s pet peeves, there are some things you can drop and some things you have to say. But do both in truth and grace. You could start by asking your spouse for one thing that you do that drives them crazy. Then be brave enough to take it.   Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better.   We want to hear from you. Share with us on Facebook, Instagram or our site.  If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us.   Finally, we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

In a healthy relationship, the needs of both people are important - it’s a two-way street. Good communication is the key to making sure everyone’s needs are met. Whether it is between you and a spouse, or with your friends, successful relationships are all about communication. In today’s episode, we share how for caregivers, relationships with others can be more complex than usual. It can be hard to find ways to speak up for your own needs. If you are the primary caregiver, recognizing your own need for support might be difficult - particularly if the care receiver is uncomfortable with the idea - but still, you need to make these choices for yourself. Highlights Relationships are complex, so resentment, sadness, and guilt can still exist in any happy relationship; which is all very normal when you are a caregiver. It’s not uncommon with men to be uncomfortable with diagnosis and want to keep that a secret. The whole caregiving relationship depends on the caregiver being well. There is joy in caregiving, but there’s also the sadness. Caregivers focus a lot on the practical aspects, but what’s the hardest part is doing the emotional work or anticipatory grief. Through talking about the caregiver’s feelings and needs as well as the care recipient, helps the recipient see the importance of letting people help. 8:15 Strategies for caring for yourself as a caregiver. Caregivers can still be responsible for their own experience while balancing the need for others. Choosing freely to be a friend caregiver. The learning curve of being a caregiver is like being in medical school. 11:59 How a friendship can change when a friend becomes a caregiver. Caregivers don’t know what to do and how to ask for help because it’s all so new. Community shows that we can do things better together than individually and alone. Real challenge is finding out what the caregiver friend needs and then matching what friends are willing to do and give. 21:04 How the trust relationship by telling the truth restores the sense of equity or equality before being a caregiver. 22:57 Lots of Helping Hands to have an organized approach to caregiving by using an online care calendar. Opening up a conversation with anybody can be helpful because people need to give as much as they need to receive. Quotes “Relationships are complex, so resentment, sadness, and guilt can still exist in any happy relationship; which is all very normal when you are a caregiver. It takes work to overcome the negatives by seeking help, communicating with your loved one, and having the self-awareness to put it all into perspective.” - Jodie “I have to take care of myself. Because if I'm not taking care of myself, who's going to take care of you?” - Nancy to her husband Ted “You are free to ask for anything. But you must also ask for everything that you need. And we agree to only give what we're capable of giving.” - Jim’s principle to share the truth “The agreement is you tell us the truth about what you need. We will tell you the truth about what we can deliver. Once we got to that point, everybody relaxed, and we got back into the normal rapport because we have a model that we can talk to.” - Jim “I felt a little uncomfortable in intervening in what could have been seen as a family affair, a family issue. But I overcame that because I realized the benefit of us all working together, rather than working independently and duplicating some efforts and leaving gaps and others.” - Jim Links Mentioned In the Episode Lotsa Helping Hands - online care calendar Connect With Us! Family Caregivers of BC Website Visit us at our office: #6 – 3318 Oak Street, Victoria, BC V8X 1R1 Hours are Monday through Friday, 8:30 am and 4:00 pm. Telephone: (250) 384-0408 Toll-Free Line Within BC: 1-877-520-3267 Fax: (250) 361-2660 Email: info@familycaregiversbc.ca Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Twitter Thank you! BC Ministry of Health - Patients as Partners Initiative Organized Sound Productions

GUEST BIO: My guest on today’s show has been creating software for several decades.  He has trained developers around the world, led eXtreme programming projects for the US government and eBay, and introduced Lean and Agile concepts at Google, Guidewire Software and Apple. In 2017 he refocused on technical training and coaching, both in person and online. EPISODE DESCRIPTION: Phil’s guest on today’s show is Ted M Young. He started programming at the age of 13. As an adult, he became a software engineer, working for eBay, Google, the US government, Guidewire Software, and Apple. While working for them he led eXtreme programming projects and introduced Lean and Agile working practices. Ted’s passion is coaching and training. In 2017, he refocused on this aspect of his IT career and became a technical trainer, consultant, and coding coach. Today, he teaches online as well as in person. KEY TAKEAWAYS: (1.08) – You have been working in software for several decades now. During that time, are there any highlights that you still draw on? Ted explains that his father was into the stock market, in particular, the technical analysis side of things. At 13, Ted wrote a program to draw his father’s analytical charts. Eventually, that program got sold to Dow Jones, who was, at the time, selling software packages. (2.14) – I bet your father was pleased. Ted replies that he was. My working on his program and newsletter made things far easier for him. (3.07) – So, you've moved more into technical training and coaching. Why did you choose to go down that path? A friend got Ted involved in coaching. At the time, he had a fairly rudimentary understanding of Java but knew more than most people. So, when his friend asked him to do some Java training, he was a bit reticent to start with. But, decided to give it a go. This was despite the fact that, back then, he was still painfully shy. In an effort to address Ted’s shyness his father sent him on a public speaking course. It did not help much and was an awful experience. But, when he delivered the training, he actually did really well. Mostly because of what he had learned on the course. The fact he was still learning Java himself meant that he had an innate empathy for his students. He was able to explain things in a way a total beginner could follow. After that, he was in demand as a teacher and coach. But, in 2000, he stopped his training work. Instead, he focused on working for big corporations like eBay and Google. But, 4 or 5 years ago he got involved in an intern program. While doing that he realized that he really missed teaching and mentoring. Fortunately, not long after that, a friend told him about a great job at Apple. They were looking for a consultant who was also able to carry out internal training. The role was a perfect fit for Ted and the pay was good. He enjoyed the job so much that when he decided to go independent he carried on offering training. (7.04) – How is working as an independent going for you? For Ted, it was a tricky transition. At first, he did not spend much time actively selling his services. As a result, he did not always have enough work. But, now he is marketing himself and building his brand more, things are going well. (7.53) – Can you please share a unique career tip with the I.T. career audience? Ted’s advice is not to be afraid of moving company’s regularly. When you do that you learn faster and make more connections. A lot of the people he trains are graduates. Many of whom are working for large companies. Naturally, they ask him what they ask Ted for career advice. Things like how long should I stay here? Ted’s advice is for them to continue working with a big company for a while. This gives them the chance to get used to how large corporations work. Invaluable knowledge that they can use later in their career. After about 2 years, graduates need to move to another large company, which they should also aim to leave after a couple of years. This is the case even if they love what they are doing. The idea is to get 4 years of working for large firms on their resume, learn how large corporations operate and grow as a professional. With this foundation, it is easier to go on and do other things. Including working for a small company. Usually, when you take this approach, you can easily circle back and rejoin one of the big companies you previously worked for. This is also a relatively quick way to bump your salary up. Each switch will normally lead to you earning more. Saving some money at an early stage in your career is also a good idea. This gives you the freedom to say no to roles that are not a good fit for you. (9.32) – You mentioned the dynamics of working within a larger organization. Can you elaborate a little more on how this impacts your relationship with your team, co-workers and how you interact with the company? Ted starts by explaining that when you work for a big firm you have to rely on influence a bit more. You have to convince your managers as well as your team that your approach is the right one. The way you interface with other groups within the company is also more complex. You have to coordinate very closely with them. When you work for a larger firm you have to be very observant.  You need to be able to quickly pick up on the fact something is not going well so that you can take steps to correct the issue before it works its way up the chain of command. (10.47) – Can you tell us about your worst career moment? And what you learned from that experience. That happened over 15 years ago when Ted was still working at eBay. At the time, the company was upgrading its website search facility. They had found a way to allow users to cut down the search results using product attributes. So, if someone wanted a digital camera that had a minimum of 4 megapixels the user would only be presented with products that met those criteria. Enabling people to find what they needed faster was key to improving sales. Now, most e-com sites have that facility. Fifteen years ago, it was a radical change. Initially, things went well, the new facility worked like a dream. Not perfect, but pretty good. But, for some reason, which Ted cannot fully remember, he wanted to change the way things were read and written from the database. At least for the work that was done internally. To achieve this they decided to use Java data objects, which was pretty new, at the time. Initially, the switch progressed quickly. They got about 70 to 80% through the library and project. At which point, things slowed. It began to feel like they were climbing a mountain. Despite working weekends, progress was slow and nobody could work out how much more work was to be done. It was impossible to tell when the task would be finished. Eventually, someone pulled the plug on the project. Ted was relieved, despite the fact that having a major project canceled was not a good situation to be in. This awful career moment taught Ted a lot about managing large changes. Now, if he had to do something similar, he would figure out a way to do it in stages. (16.22) – What was your best career moment? That happened not long after Ted joined Guidewire, in the late 2000s. In some of his previous roles, he had been using eXtreme programming and Agile techniques. Very quickly he realized that Guidewire would benefit from working in a similar way. So, he put that suggestion forward. His manager and the Dev manager were both keen to give it a try and let Ted take the lead in introducing Lean and Agile working techniques. A move that made a really positive difference to the way the teams worked. It felt great to be allowed to make a big change like that and even better to see it make such a positive difference. (18.40) – Can you tell us what excites you about the future of the IT industry and careers? When Ted started programming, information and support were both really hard to come by. Now, it does not matter what you need to know someone out there will have the information. Better still, they will want to share it with you and usually provide support. If you want to do something new it is surprisingly easy to find others who are able to help you to figure out how to do it. This is very exciting because now things progress at a much faster rate. (20.28) – So you feel the IT industry is more inclusive now? Ted explains that it is more than that. Now, you also have the critical mass needed to make things happen. (21.18) – What first attracted you to a career in IT? Ted always loved coding and problem-solving. The fact he could be paid well for doing it was a bonus. (22.22) – What is the best career advice you have ever received? Quite late in his career, someone said to Ted – “You should be a coach.” For Ted that was important advice, because it led to him doing work that he loves. (23.03) - Conversely, what is the worst career advice you've ever received? Oddly, it came from his father who advised him to work for a financial firm. In a way, it was sound advice. The pay was good, there were plenty of financial firms operating in his area and Ted’s work with his father meant that he already had a good understanding of the industry. But, Ted is glad he did not take that advice. He has done quite a bit of training and coaching for financial firms and knows that type of working environment is not for him. (23.51) – If you were to begin your IT career again, right now, what would you do? Ted says that he would probably challenge himself more. Instead of sidestepping things like working with databases and handling complex sequel he would face these things head on. In the end, digging deep into things you find hard, rather than finding ways around them, stands you in good stead. He also wishes he had learned C++ back in the day. (25.03) – Phil comments that it is hard to work out which language to learn. Ted agrees, but for him, it was more a case of taking the line of least resistance and relying too much on what he already knew. Today, he would periodically ask himself what he is avoiding. Then go out and find someone to help him to understand and work through those things. (25.33) – What objectives are you currently focusing on in your career? Ted wants to do more coaching, so that is one of his main focuses. But, he would also like to do more live stream coding. The fact that people can ask questions in live time makes it a very effective way to teach. It is good for others to see that people like him, who have been coding for decades, still have to look things up and can go down a rat hole. It helps them to realize that they are better than they think. To understand that even experienced professionals are still learning, as they go. (27.15) – What is the number one non-technical skill that has helped you the most in your IT career? Ted says that he has always been naturally good at coming up with checklists and processes that work. He finds that doing this helps him to work more efficiently and not miss anything important. The ability to systemize things has helped him in all sorts of ways, during his IT career. (28.27) - What do you do to keep your own IT career energized? Ted finds that live coding energizing. But, it is also tiring. Working, talking and explaining things for 3 straight hours can be mentally exhausting. But, it does give you a buzz. (29.16) - What do you do in your spare time away from technology? Ted is a distance runner. He lives in the Bay area, so he is always able to run in a beautiful environment, in a temperate climate. When he is running, he does not think about tech. He is not particularly competitive about his running. But, he does sort of compete with himself, which is why he tracks himself with his Apple watch.  (30.58) – Phil asks Ted to share a final piece of career advice with the audience. Ted says that it is important to check for understanding. If you are teaching someone, try to get them to paraphrase what you have just explained to them. It is all too easy to lose someone who does not have the same level of familiarity with a subject as you do. His other piece of advice is not to be afraid to ask questions. You need to get past the awkwardness of doing that to be able to further your understanding. BEST MOMENTS: (5.25) TED – "When you're closer to the learning part, rather than being an expert, it makes it much easier to teach." (7.27) TED – "As an independent, you have to market and sell yourself." (15.41) TED – " Don’t bite off too much when you're completely in the dark about what's going on." (22.07) TED – "There's a certain joy in, especially for me today, sharing my knowledge." (25.21) TED – "Ask yourself what am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? Then find someone to help you to understand." CONTACT TED M. YOUNG: Twitter: https://twitter.com/jitterted LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tedmyoung/ Website: https://tedmyoung.com

What do we do when our spouse does something that drives us crazy? A definition of a pet peeve is: “a minor complaint or irritation that’s more annoying to you than anyone else." We’re not talking about deeper level things, just those little things that drive you nuts.  Some of the most common pet peeves: Leaving the toilet seat up Driving distracted by electronic devices Putting empty cartons back in the fridge Leaving clothes on the floor Whistling Telling the same joke over and over, expecting you to laugh Leaving trash in the car Not asking for directions or using the GPS Falling asleep on the sofa instead of going to bed Not putting your keys in the place where you go to get the keys Chewing with your mouth open at the table Always being late Taking the covers at night Squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong part of the tube Leaving stuff in your clothes pockets when it goes to the laundry In preparation for this episode, Ted text his wife, Nancie, to ask about her pet peeves. Here’s how that went down.  Ted: We are talking about pet peeves on the podcast tomorrow. What is something I do that drives you nuts? This is the minor stuff, not the big stuff. Nancie: That sounds like a question designed to hurt somebody’s feelings (especially mine). Ted: You don’t have any and I’m not mentioning them. But I can mention my own. . . so what are they my love. Nancie: You break rules. Ted: That hurts my feelings. What causes pet peeves? Misattribution Many times, there is misattribution. This is when you attribute something to the wrong thing or person. You aren’t really the frustration with your spouse; you are frustrated by work, but attribute that frustration to your spouse. It’s thinking, “I feel all this because of them”, not realizing your ‘tank of frustration’ may already be full and it comes out on these small things.  Affective Association On the opposite side is ‘Affective Association’. One scientific study broke married couples into two groups. The researchers showed one group images of their spouse interspersed with beautiful things. The other group saw their spouse and then images of neutral images. All the people who saw the first slide show ranked their marriage higher than when they started.  The Truth: How we handle pet peeves matters because silly fights can cause serious damage. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” You can choose to let a pet peeve go or you can talk to them in a way that is loving and encouraging.  We all know we do some things that drive our spouse crazy and we want to be treated this way. How you do this depends on your relationship. It may be playful or more serious. For some people, the humor really helps. For others it may just be talking about it in a softer way.  Your one simple thing for this week When it comes to your spouse’s pet peeves, there are some things you can drop and some things you have to say. But do both in truth and grace. You could start by asking your spouse for one thing that you do that drives them crazy. Then be brave enough to take it. Show Closing Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better. We want to hear from you. Share with us on Facebook, Instagram or our site.  If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us.

What does “for better or for worse” really mean? A surprise birthday party when you get home from work… your spouse doing the taxes and reorganizing your entire filing system – are those better or worse? The truth is, promising your life to someone is more than surprise parties and taxes - we’re all going to face better and worse. The Tension: A life committed to “for better or worse” has a lot of ‘worse’ times. So what do we do about that? The opening lines to the classic novel Anna Karenina say “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Satan is the author of confusion and there’s a lot of complexity and despair within confusion. God’s way always feels clearer and less confused. After seeing a lot of couples go through tough situations, I (Ted) have seen that it really boils down to how couples view a situation and how they respond to the situation. One couple told me, “we used to use each other like a punching bag, now we see each other as a soft place to land.”  Truth: Your response to tough moments is the engine that can steer your marriage in one direction or another. If you know what your tendencies are in tough times, it is easier to combat them. For example, if you know that your inclination when you get home is to go hide in your room, you can prepare yourself to stay present for your spouse and spend 30 minutes connecting with them. Your one simple thing for this week: Ask yourself the question “what is one area of my life that I can respond to in a way that makes a tough thing better?” CJ: To be transparent, Teri and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. Every 30 days feels like another ‘worse’ for us. I need to think about how to respond every time this comes up so we can use this to bring us together instead of drive us apart. Ted: You’ve just made a very profound point – maybe what makes ‘worse’ so difficult is that we’re both at a place that’s really tough. And that is a time that you both need each other. Thank you for being so willing to share! We hope this episode helps you find some ‘worse’ areas in your marriage and respond to them differently.  Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast! We hope today’s episode helped you realize that marriage is a little easier than you may think. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better. Visit us on Facebook or Instagram. If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us and our blog at MarriedPeople.org.

Today’s episode is a little bit different – we’re going to listen to the redemptive story of Sam and Toni Collier’s marriage, and we think you’re really going to enjoy it. Interview with Sam and Toni Sam and Toni have been married for a little over a year and they’re a blended family. Toni’s three-year-old daughter, Dylan, is a ball full of energy in their home!  Sam: I was adopted at two months old with my twin sister. We were adopted out of a poverty stricken situation by a lovely couple. My dad was married twice before he met my mom and my mom was coming out of an abusive marriage. They become believers and got married, after which they find out that they can’t have kids. They come to meet my sister and I and were told they shouldn’t adopt us because we wouldn’t amount to much (due to where we came from). They taught us that if we didn’t believe in ourselves, it was viewed as wrong. They didn’t fight in front of us, and every morning at 5am they were up praying. Toni: My story isn’t as polished as Sam’s. But we do have a central thread – my mom was abused in her previous marriage. My parents met and my dad rescued her from her situation. My dad has had two marriages as well, and they came together and get saved. However, my mom didn’t heal from her first marriage. My dad had a tough childhood as well, and you bring these two broken people together and brokenness leaks out onto your kids. I was verbally abused myself, and in the 3rd grade my mom had a stroke and it completely knocked her out. I watched her bounce back from a lot of health issues, but I was parenting my mom and myself. I graduated at 16 and left the house. But in the midst of all that brokenness, I still take away their willingness to give and my dad’s willingness to provide. Sam: We met in ministry, and as soon as we got married we jumped into counseling. Toni had been through so much in her last marriage with the verbal abuse, some physical abuse, lack of providing… and our counselor has helped us through that. Ted: My view of divorce over 16 years has evolved – I think I had a really legalistic view of it. I can say that for most people, divorce is not the answer. But for some people, it is. We make promises that people’s spouses can’t keep. I can make promises about your relationship with Jesus – because he is the same every day. But people that do what I do can tend to say, “If you do X, your spouse will do Y” and that’s not always the case. What would you say to a spouse who is damaged and hurt? Toni: I don’t want to advise anyone to make a decision – anyone in a hard situation really has to make the decision for themselves. But in my own personal story, I’ve known that God has a plan for me. And there was a moment in my first marriage where I didn’t have that hope anymore and it wasn’t my fault. That’s when I knew I had to go. Ted: Now, we shout from the rooftops that we love counselors. But I never want to forget that guy or that lady who thinks there’s something wrong about going. But once you do it, you shout it from the rooftops. What made you guys so comfortable with it? Sam: Well we have to say Reggie (head of Think Orange). But some tangible reasons – she didn’t mention much about the abuse she went through, but when you go through stuff like that you need someone. I think it’s great to have somebody who is unbiased pouring love on you all. And third, I hate not being good at something. And at the end of the day, I’m going to be measured on what I was given  - my family. Why wouldn’t I go? Toni: For those of you experiencing that friction of not having time for it – we make time for the things we care about. I want to be a better me emotionally. One thing to watch out for with counseling is fear – fear of exposing myself to a stranger, fear of being judged. But vulnerability and bravery and being courageous unlock so many other emotions. I am a much better me, wife, friend and mother because I know what’s going on with me and I know where it came from. Ted: You guys are modeling something great, and I just want to say thank you so much. Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast! We hope today’s episode helped you realize that marriage is a little easier than you may think. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better. If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us and our blog at MarriedPeople.org. You can also check out Sam’s podcast A Greater Story, and find more from Toni on her website. Finally, we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

Episode Content:Shlomo: I met James when I lived in Beijing, and he is one of the major community builders and engine behind Barcamp, TEDx , part of the world economic forum (At least these are the ones I’m aware of…) and other events in Beijing.I think your linkedin title says it all. “Media and tech: TEDx, Yang Lan, +others”. you’ve been doing so many stuff, how about helping out making sense in all those activities you do and what you are involved in.So, you are super busy between YangLan (Oprah of China), world economic forum, Beijing commons, how do you balance everything?Let’s talk about tech community building. You are one of the experts in my opinion on this in the China foreign community. You’ve done TEDx Beijing, and bar camp many times. What’s the drive building all those. How do you start building a community from scratch? What’s the best way to grow it?Can you tell outline how you start a TEDx event? What exactly you need for that? Permission from TED? You are a global shaper as they call it at the World economic forum . How do you join this organization? And what type of influence you have when working (volunteering?) there?I think that for most startups traction is the most difficult part building a community around their product or service. How similar you think online community building is to offline community building? And if you have any best practices here. What’s the best way to get in touch with you? Episode Mentions:http://time.com/2907444/yang-lan-the-oprah-of-china-expands-her-reach/TedxBarcampTwitterEmailDownload and SubscribeDownload this episode: right click on this link and choose "save as"Subscribe to China Business Cast on iTunesOr check out the full list on subscription options Periscope Live broadcasting of the recordings follow @StartupNoodle (open link on mobile)