Curmudgeons And Dragons

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The party gathers at the round table to discuss your RPG horror stories, building interesting characters, and all things D&D! Join Jason, Josey, Jim, Greg, Jack at the tavern for a pint of ale and share some stories!

JTP Audio


    • Jan 20, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 28m AVG DURATION
    • 93 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Curmudgeons And Dragons

    We Liked It Our Way Better! [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2023 15:00


    [#93] This week, Jim, with a horror story about how to ruin an otherwise-great game just by not shutting up when it's over. You can read the original post and comments here.In case you need a primer on derivation.If there's any way to bring Grigory Rasputin into your game, please do so.Here's a walkthrough of the Assassin's Creed Vatican Mission we kept talking about.If you'd like to become a demon hunter yourself, the Vatican offers a course.For more stories of terrible games, check out the RPG Horror Stories subreddit.New episodes every friday now with video! Check out our other episodes!And the youtube channel!Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, and Jim CrockerProduced and Edited by Jason PortizoCurmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    Gary Had A Pizza, Now Has Nothing [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2023 15:37


    [#92] This week, Josey brings us a terrifying tale of a player who snapped for getting exactly what he deserved. CW: Brief, veiled description of in-game sexual assault.Check out the original post and comments.Monks still aren't at all necessarily religious in the same way clerics are, but it's still complicated.We all agree on the greatness of Costco pizza.The connection between piracy and slavery is, of course, quite complicated.We talk a lot about Safety Tools, and how they will help prevent your game from ending up on this subreddit.For more stories of terrible games, check out the RPG Horror Stories subreddit.We tell horror stories every Friday! Check out our other episodes!Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, and Jim CrockerProduced and Edited by Jason PortizoCurmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    Stuck At the Kids' Table [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2023 22:46


    [#91] Jason relates the tale of a grown-ass man unknowingly being invited to a game for teens.Check out the original post and comments.Monks aren't at all necessarily religious in the same way clerics are, but it's complicated.The only thing worse than opening The Door in the Woods is not opening it.There are a lot of much better D&D Birthday Party ideas.For more stories of terrible games, check out the RPG Horror Stories subReddit.Check out our other episodes!Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, and Jim CrockerProduced and Edited by Jason PortizoCurmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    "We don't think you're going to stick around" [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2022 12:07


    [#90] In this Horror Story, Jim delivers a tale of a store game that doesn't go so well. Josey is off this week. Read the original post and comments. For the business wonks, a report on commercial rents on Long Island. (Spoiler: They're really high!) There's a long-running debate, amplified by the pandemic, about the ethics and best practices of charging for play space in stores.  Check out more terrible RPG Horror Stories. We tell horror stories every Friday! Check out our other episodes!  Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    Top 15 WORST DM Advice Ever [Part 2: 9-15]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2022 42:23


    [#89] We tackle the back half of the 15 WORST DM tips ever uttered. Spoiler: they pretty much earn that distinction honestly. Greg's computer is sadly toasted this week. Read the original list of Bad Advice.  We tackled the front half of the list in Episode 77. Find out everything you could possibly want about the classic 90s RPG Dark Conspiracy. Jim reminsiced about learning to play D&D with the classic Holmes Basic Set. Everything we love can be found at curmudgeonsanddragons.com Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, and Jim Crocker Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    I Thought A Mile Was 1000 Feet! [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2022 10:50


    [#88] https://www.reddit.com/r/rpghorrorstories/comments/xoh15s/oh_i_thought_a_mile_is_a_thousand_feet/

    Objection! [r/DMAcademy Advice VII]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2022 67:18


    [#87] https://www.reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/comments/xbnh0b/i_have_decided_to_walk_my_players_through_the/ https://www.reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/comments/x43138/i_think_im_doing_perception_wrong/ https://www.reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/comments/x6zt9a/dm_involvement_in_character_creation_how_much_is/ https://www.reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/comments/xh049i/how_to_spot_subtle_spell_casting_and_prove_it/ https://www.reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/comments/xj6zkb/players_are_trying_to_sue_the_bbeg/ https://www.reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/comments/xpltst/does_x_cause_harm_check_the_book/ https://www.reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/comments/x0psev/how_can_i_roleplay_a_dressfitting_scene_for/

    A Deck Of A Few Stuff [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2022 15:16


    [#86] https://www.reddit.com/r/rpghorrorstories/comments/xdlul1/player_gambles_hours_of_my_work_away/

    RPG Wholesome Stories VI: Great Newbies, Supportive Partners, and Elves Speak Spanish!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2022 30:54


    [#85] Jim's Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/wo3pdi/too_many_dd_horror_stories_so_heres_my_positive/ Image for Jim's story: https://imgur.com/a/gxsEs3k Josey's Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/wleyqr/my_wife_convinced_me_to_give_dnd_a_second_chance/Jason's Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/wlnfko/i_love_dnd/

    Do Players Really NEED To Learn Their Class Features? [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 24:54


    [#84]https://www.reddit.com/r/rpghorrorstories/comments/xe23yq/amtia_for_asking_a_player_to_read_her_features/

    Adventurer Classes In Pop Culture - Fairy Tale Edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2022 55:31


    [#83] https://www.gmbinder.com/share/-Mwtt8ntZVB9oBGaLXVb

    Does this...look humanoid...to you? (spoiler: yes it does) [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2022 11:28


    [#83] https://www.reddit.com/r/rpghorrorstories/comments/x2tn2z/dm_doesnt_know_what_a_creature_type_is/

    Little Bro Derails Campaign To "Win" [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2022 25:50


    [#81] https://www.reddit.com/r/rpghorrorstories/comments/o71tof/player_wins_the_game_continues_to_win_against/

    Old Man Henderson [RPG Classic Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2022


    [#80] The party gathers 'round as Jason tells the tale of the player who "won" Call of Cthulu: Old Man Henderson. wiki article: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson

    Are You SURE???? [r/DMAcademy Advice VI]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2022 41:52


    [#79] We dive into the DMAcademy SubReddit to offer our takes on a handful of D&D-related conundrums. How do you feel about Saying NO? (Spolier: We're mostly fine wth it!) Recruiting and the challenges of playing with strangers . How to make things easier for your DM.  Murder Hobos: Threat or menace?  Keeping the peace when handing out magic items .  A question that goes much better than we expected it to.  How clear about the consequences of your party's actions is clear enough? Join the conversation at the DMAcademy subreddit. Everything we love can be found at curmudgeonsanddragons.com • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight • Transition Music: º Thatched Villagers by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4481-thatched-villagers License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo

    The Cleric is NOT a Catholic Priest and That Joke Wasn't Funny [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2022 16:38


    Top 15 WORST DM Advice Ever [Part 1: 1-8]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2022


    [#77] Read along with us here: https://www.thedmlair.com/2020/08/04/top-15-worst-dungeon-master-advice-ever/

    Those WERE The Bandits! [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2022 13:30


    The Monsters Know What They're Doing [Third Party Book Club #1]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2022 20:12


    [#75] In this NEW segment Jason, Josey, and a very laggy Greg (sorry! I tried fixing it!) talk about their favorite books published by anyone other than WotC   get your copy here (affiliate link):  The Monsters Know What They're Doing: https://amzn.to/3P9dZQI MOAR The Monsters Know What They're Doing: https://amzn.to/3p8rNjO share this with your favorite adventurer and check us out at curmudgeonsanddragons.com

    Savage Super Session Zero Screwup [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2022 14:37


    DnD Movie Date Night With Jason and Josey!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 41:54


    [#73] Jason and Josey talk about the new dungeons and dragons honor among thieves trailer and how bad the previous movies are. she still hasn't seen lord of the rings

    The Drama Started WAY Earlier Than The PVP [RPG Horror Story]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 14:28


    r/DMAcademy Advice V: Did I Forget My Pants?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022 34:43


    RPG Horror Story: No, Using a Character Sheet Is NOT "Rules Lawyering"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2022 17:27


    50 Tips For Dungeon Masters [Part 5: 41-50]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 51:49


    RPG Horror Story: Um Actually It's FEER-bolg

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2022 15:56


    RPG Wholesome Stories IV: VR Friends, Hot Wives, Grandmas, and Gooey Goodness

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2022 38:57


    [#67] Jason's Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/uw095e/whats_the_opposite_of_an_rpg_horror_story_an_rpg/ Greg's Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/RpgGloryStories/comments/lg66hf/my_dice_thought_i_should_die_my_wifes_didnt Josey's Story: https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9415560448/hBE84D2E2/person Jim's Story:  meta quest 2 affiliate link: https://amzn.to/3RtKIT7

    RPG Horror Story: I'm A Baby And I Hate It

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2022 13:26


    What's In Jason's Backpack?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022 29:31


    [#65]Backpack: https://amzn.to/3NQ8t4C Bluetooth Speaker: https://amzn.to/3uv7lwE Dice Tower: https://amzn.to/3OKRm5E Tablet Stand: https://amzn.to/3NOx3ms Power Bank: https://amzn.to/3P7QqIf Pens: https://amzn.to/3AtwkUZ Old Bay Goldfish: https://amzn.to/3nHyYPp (these are all affiliate links. we make a small commission on any sales)

    RPG Classic Story: The Ballad Of Edgardo

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2022 43:14


    RPG Horror Story: Players Don't Understand 'Serious Campaign'

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2022 18:41


    RPG Horror Story: Paladin Doesn't Care

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2022 20:06


    50 Tips For Dungeons Masters [Part 4: 31-40]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2022 28:28


    Enough Taverns! Other Places To Start Your Campaign

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2022 25:13


    RPG Horror Story: Level 20 Party Loses To A Troll

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2022 10:49


    [#59] In this short but sweet horror story, Jason brings a horror story about a Vecna-inspired practical joke.  Jason mentioned a Practical Guide to Wishes.  The 5e rules are actually pretty specific about what a Wish can do.  If you were unfamilar, Vecna is pretty badass.  For more stories of terrible games, check out the RPG Horror Stories subReddit. We tell horror stories every Friday! Check out our other episodes! • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license • Story Music: º Crusade Heavy Industry by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4678-crusade-heavy-industry License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    r/DMAcademy Advice IV: Self-Spoiling, 'Useless' Items, BGEGs, and More

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2022 28:40


    RPG Horror Story: 'Fearless' Adventurers Defy the DM

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 13:41


    50 Tips For Dungeons Masters [Part 3: 21-30]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 30:48


    [#56] We continue our delve into the Top 50 Tips for DMs. This week, it's #21-30, and we're getting a little more into YMMV territory. Our Top 50 Tips list come courtesy of MT Black Games.  Josey mentioned bespoke initative trackers We talked about Legendary Actions and Lair Actions and how you can use them to spice up a fight. We talked about inexpensive costuming to spruce up in-person games, and the new Zoom Avatars for playing online.  Everything we love can be found at curmudgeonsanddragons.com • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight • Transition Music: º Thatched Villagers by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4481-thatched-villagers License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    RPG Horror Story: DM Out-Metagames The Metagamer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2022 19:21


    [#55] In this horror story, Josie brings us a story of metagaming one-upsmanship. There is some disagreement about what exactly constitutes metagaming.  Sorry, but Psychic Scream is just messed up. We discussed what happens when matter and anti-matter collide.  For more stories of terrible games, check out the RPG Horror Stories subReddit.  We tell horror stories every Friday! Check out our other episodes! • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license • Story Music: º Crusade Heavy Industry by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4678-crusade-heavy-industry License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    Let's Build A Character: Bob Belcher

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2022 38:33


    [#54] Jim and Greg are off this week, so Josey and Jason take the opportunity to stat up their favorite burger-flipping patriarch. Jason was inspired by the fact that there's a Bob's Burger movie out soon.  Once you know where to look, it's super-easy to blow $300 on a chef's knife.  Just for Jim, there are vegan versions of Bob's classic burgers.  Everything we love can be found at curmudgeonsanddragons.com • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight • Transition Music: º Thatched Villagers by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4481-thatched-villagers License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    RPG Horror Story: Hazing The New Guy

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2022 17:21


    Backstories: From Concept to Character

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2022 25:15


    [#52] In this discussion episode, we talk tips and tricks for biulding compelling PC backgrounds, as a player and DM. Jason is a fan of The Ultimate RPG Backstory Guide.  Jim is partial to Backstory Cards.  Halfling Hobbies offers a pretty great cheat sheet for connecting backstories.  Everything we love can be found at curmudgeonsanddragons.com • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight • Transition Music: º Thatched Villagers by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4481-thatched-villagers License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    RPG Horror Story: A Bloody Uber Problem (ft. Glen Gretsky)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2022 40:41


    r/DMAcademy Advice III: Petty Rich Guys, *OUR* Backstory, and a sad story

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2022


    RPG Horror Story: The Worst History Check We Ever Heard

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2022 17:28


    50 Tips for Dungeon Masters {Part 2: 11-20}

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2022 33:13


    RPG Horror Story: DM Doesn't Give Wizard New Spells

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2022 12:23


    [#47] In this horror story, Jason shares an infuriating tale of a wizard-hating DM. If you want your own custom spell book, etsy has options.  That's not how Contingency works.  Even if it was, Disintegrate is a 6th level spell, so it's not a valid target. For more stories of terrible games, check out the RPG Horror Stories subReddit.   We tell horror stories every Friday! Check out our other episodes! • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license • Story Music: º Crusade Heavy Industry by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4678-crusade-heavy-industry License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    RPG Wholesome Stories IV: Home Base, Drinking For Fun, and Why Children Are the Future

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2022 32:16


    [#46] In these wholesome stories of RPGs done right, Greg tells us about a place where evryone knows your PC's name, Jason blah blah, and Josie and Jim both marvel at the uncanny wisdom of kids new to the game. Greg somehow found a wholesome story on Reddit.  Josie found her amazing story of Australian teens on Kotaku.  Jason also located his story on Reddit! We tell horror stories every Friday! Check out our other episodes! • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license • Story Music: º Life of Riley, Fretless, and Savannah Sketch by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/ License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    Just Played: El Paso

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2022 13:36


    [#45] Jim just played El Paso! El Paso is a WIP hack of The Between RPG. It's a 'Weird Western' focusing on ghosts, liminal spaces, and the costs and impacts of violence.  The Between by Jason Cordova is available from Gauntlet Publishing. Follow the game's designer on Twitter. Caleb sports a pair of .45 Schofield revolvers named Salvation and Damnation. The eponymous 1949 John Payne & Gail Russell film depicts a pretty brutally corrupt place.  Did you know we have shirts? Check out the STORE • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Written and Hosted by Jim Crocker Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    RPG Horror Story: The Well-Earned Slap

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2022 16:57


    [#44] In this horror story, Josie relates a sordid tale of a frat bully at the table. TW: Sexual harassment in and out of character, physical violence at the table. They were playing Waterdeep: Dragon Heist , an official WotC adventure campaign. For a visualzation of The Slap, sub in one of these WWE Epic Superstar Slaps.  For more stories of terrible games, check out the RPG Horror Stories subReddit.  We tell horror stories every Friday! Check out our other episodes! • Theme Music: º Crunk Knight by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3566-crunk-knight License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license • Story Music: º Crusade Heavy Industry by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4678-crusade-heavy-industry License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

    50 Tips for Dungeon Masters (Part 1: 1-10)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2022 32:56


    [#43] In an extension of our regular DM Advice episodes, we take a look at a list of 50 DM tips and discuss which ones make our personal cut, how we'd revise them, and why Jason hates shopping. Our list comes courtesy of MT Black Games.  We mentioned The Monsters Know What They're Doing. There's a host of internet rescources, and not just bleprints, dedicated to castles.  Josie name-dropped Fallout: Nuka-World.   Everything we love can be found at curmudgeonsanddragons.com • Theme Music: ºCrunk Knight by Kevin MacLeod • Transition Music: º Thatched Villagers by Kevin MacLeod  License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Hosted by Jason Portizo, Josey Diaz, Jim Crocker, and Greg Genovas Produced and Edited by Jason Portizo Curmudgeons and Dragons is a JTP Audio production

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