No God OA - An Atheist's Journey in Secular Overeaters Anonymous

In this episode, Brad discusses the two-edged sword that some of the discoveries and tools offered by OA can be. He also talks about why he's taking a step back from the podcast for a bit while he gears up for "Season 2."

While Brad was taking a break from podcasting, he read a book called Chatter by Ethan Kross. In this episode, Brad explores how important this book was for him in his recovery, how it has helped him understand the steps and tools of OA even better, and how the techniques described by the author are helping him overcome his compulsions and cravings. 

Do you ever find yourself in the kitchen rummaging through the refrigerator or cupboards when you're bored? Why do we do that, and how can we redirect our actions in a healthier way? In this episode, Brad explores eating out of boredom and some options for how to deal with it. 

In this episode, Brad explores some of the basic elements of storytelling and unpacks how they can inform our own stories of recovery. 

In this episode, Brad tackles one of the most common questions he hears in meetings and that he gets from listeners: Do I really need a sponsor to be successful in Overeaters Anonymous?  Using the metaphor of running a marathon, Brad explores how vital a sponsor can be in our recovery and the risks of going it alone.

In this episode, Brad answers a question a newbie asked him after a meeting the other day: Does Overeater's Anonymous actually work? It's a valid question that requires some serious exploration and thought, especially if someone is considering giving it a try.

In this episode, Brad unpacks the most well-known step of them all: making amends. Why is that even part of the twelve steps? What does it have to do with stopping our compulsive behaviors? Is it really necessary? These are all questions Brad explores as he recounts his own experience with step 9 and looks ahead to the final few steps. 

In this episode, Brad answers a listener's question about how to find recovery when you're living with a person who is not doing Overeater's Anonymous and may still be bingeing and compulsively overeating. It's a real challenge, but there are tools that might prove helpful. If you know of tools that Brad isn't familiar with, he'd love to hear them! You can always send him an email at nogodoa@gmail.com!

Apologies for the poor sound quality on this episode! It won't happen again! In this episode, Brad explores a writing concept called "Weasel Words" that he's discovered sneaking into his thinking about recovery from compulsive overeating. 

In this episode, Brad explores the concept of accountability buddies and how important they've been to his recovery from compulsive overeating. One of his buddies--whom he thinks of as is "bullshit detector" buddy--played a key role in helping him snap out of his compulsive thinking and get back on track in an exchange he shares in this episode.

In this episode, Brad explores the reasons that compulsive overeating behaviors thrive in isolation and how "shining the light" on the most embarrassing or shameful of our behaviors can actually help us find recovery. 

In this episode, Brad explores the science behind why it's so hard to get back on program after a relapse. The books he uses in his examples is Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke. 

In this episode, Brad explores another tool that he's found helpful when confronted with sacrifices he has to make to eat less and move more in his life. He calls the "Tomorrow Brad" and it's a concept that you just might find helpful, too! Also in this episode, Brad comes off of a 4-5 day binge that is his first true relapse since starting OA over five months ago. 

In this episode, Brad shares his experience with a recent plateau, a challenging week in the program, and how getting pissed off has helped him move forward toward recovery. 

In this episode, Brad explores how meetings have changed his worldview when it comes to things "everybody does" and things that "nobody but me" does, and how important these realizations have been in his recovery. Also, he introduces an analogy for compulsive overeating using the idea of a "magic pill" that has given him a valuable tool when confronting cravings.

In this episode, Brad shares some of his own "messy" amends and thinks through how best to approach them. It isn't always clear how--or even if--you should make amends, but sometimes it's the thinking through those issues that provide the benefit of this important step in Overeaters Anonymous' 12-step program. 

In this episode, Brad explores one of  the most well-known (and most maligned) steps of any 12-program: making amends. What do harms you may have caused someone decades ago have to do with why you overeat today? Is this step really even necessary for recovery? In part one of unpacking step 8, Brad explains how he approached this step and why it was an important part of his recovery journey.

In this episode, Brad explores the aftermath of a recent challenging day and the insights he gained from it about how his brain works when confronted with unpleasant emotions or experiences. Using the metaphor of a road system to explain neural pathways, he describes what it's like to deliberately change the way he uses food as an escape and find a better alternative.  Hop on the multi-lane highway out of Sufferingville and see if his perspective might be helpful in your next tough spot!

Nearly every share in an OA meeting starts with some version of "Hi, I'm ______ and I'm a compulsive overeater." Why is that? It can honestly feel a bit cultish, especially to those of us who may have had actual experiences in a cult-like religion. But is there a reason for it? Is it required to say that when you speak in a meeting? That's the topic that Brad explores in this episode as he takes you along his journey of coming to identify himself as a compulsive overeater.You can email Brad at nogodoa@gmail.comFind secular OA meeting, podcasts, and resources at www.secularovereaters.org

There are SO MANY problems with the wording of step 7 for an atheist/agnostic. In this episode, Brad breaks this step down and discovers what is, at least for him, the "heart" of this step. Far beyond saying a simple prayer--which is what most traditional OAers do at this point--this step can be a powerful tool to help modify character traits that are no longer serving us and are at the root of many of our compulsions.

In this episode, Brad explores the reality of recovery and the possibility of failure. After a nasty binge, he gets curious about how the voice of his compulsion--he calls it his "monster"--lies to him and turns one of the best days into one of the worst. 

It's a controversial question in Overeaters Anonymous: should I be weighing myself every day? In this episode, Brad shares his experience with the scale and the ways in which it has both helped and hindered his recovery. 

Brad reflects on his first "bad" day in the program after eating far more calories than he should have. He explores the feelings of shame, judgement, and disappointment that follow and examines ways to identify where these feelings are coming from, how to learn from them, and how to move on with a search for recovery with hope and confidence.

Abstinence. It's one of those words you hear in virtually every Overeaters Anonymous meeting, but it often doesn't make any sense related to food. In this episode, Brad returns to a previous topic to explore how his experience has changed in regards to claiming "abstinence" and how a simple question helped him develop a food plan that works. Perhaps it'll work for you, too? The question? "How do you hurt yourself with food?"Special thanks are due to the host of a secular OA meeting that I consistently attend for introducing me to this concept and being such a huge support to me in my recovery. Interested in attending a secular OA meeting? The best place to find them is at www.secularovereaters.org. 

In this episode, Brad unpacks the extremely god-heavy sixth step which reads, "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." It's a difficult one to process as an atheist or agnostic, but, with the help of some other perspectives, it can become an insightful and powerful step along our journey to recovery. WARNING: There are a lot of uses of the F-word in this one, in large part to the work of Russell Brand and his book, Recovery.

In this step, Brad tackles one of the most difficult steps he encountered, mostly due to the way his religious background caused him to view the step with suspicion and fear. Why should we admit our failings to another person? What good could that possibly do? Brad explores how this step resulted in some surprising benefits and how it's helped him find increased recovery from his compulsive behaviors.

In this episode, Brad continues his conversation with Josh B. about a concept he calls "icons of recovery." It's a great tool to help remind you throughout the day of your goals and intentions when it comes to compulsive overeating... or any other behavior that you are working to change! Do you use an icon of recovery? Are you going to try one? Brad would love to hear about your experience! Email nogodoa@gmail.com!

In this episode, Brad sits down with fellow atheist/agnostic Josh B who is also working the Overeaters Anonymous program. He's in a unique situation where he's working with a sponsor who is unlike him in almost every way, including belief in a literal God! They explore what his program looks like with a non-secular sponsor and how they make it work. This is the first of two parts of their discussion.

In this episode, Brad returns to his reactions to the book "Dopamine Nation" by Anna Lembke and explores the insights gained about where cravings come from and tools to manage them. 

It's an often-used slogan in 12-step programs: "Take it one day at a time!" But what if 24 hours is too long for you to stay "abstinent?" That was one of Brad's struggles early in the program--and sometimes is still a struggle--but modifying one word has given him a new tool to help: Take it one DECISION at a time!" In this episode, Brad explores how this adage helps him not only fight off cravings in the moment, but also gives him a much-needed perspective on recovery for the long haul.

In this episode, Brad explores the first-step concept of being "powerless" over food and why that can sometimes feel like we are being asked to give up our autonomy. Using the metaphor of building a house, he explores how we can use our autonomy to strengthen our program and build the kind of recovery we want in our lives.

In this episode, Brad explores the rest of the 9 tools of recovery from compulsive overeating used by Overeaters Anonymous and how he uses them in his program. The tools include Writing, Literature, Action Plan, Anonymity, and Service. Why are they important? What do they look like from a secular perspective?

For the first weeks of going to Overeaters Anonymous meetings, it felt to Brad like he'd found the missing piece to stopping his compulsive eating behaviors: he just needed some group support! But, before long, he started to stall in the program and convince himself it was another dead-end. Fortunately, he found the motivation and drive he needed in the other tools of OA. In this first part, he explores why simply going to meetings probably isn't enough to find lasting recovery and how some of the steps help him maintain momentum and focus.

In this episode, Brad explores why Step Four of Overeater's Anonymous was so unexpectedly powerful in helping him understand where his compulsions to overeat come from and how this understanding helps him fend them off now. This step helped him discover that he doesn't have a "weight problem" but instead has a "weight symptom" from bigger issues that trigger his compulsive behaviors. 

In this episode, Brad unpacks one of the most abstract steps of the Overeater's Anonymous 12-step program: "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." What does that look like? What if the word "moral" is too packed with religious connotations for us as atheists or agnostics? What is the heart of this step and what does it look like in practicality? Brad uses Jeffrey Munn's book "Staying Sober Without God" as a structure to introduce this step and talk through some of the difficulties that atheists/agnostics might face.

Brad had his first weekend of non-abstinent eating, but does that mean he has to "start over" or that he's no longer abstinent? Thankfully, Brad uses a concept called "imperfect abstinence" that allows him to avoid the pitfalls of "starting over" and getting caught up in the downward cycle of bingeing, shame, and guilt. Perhaps it's a concept that will work for you? Check it out in today's episode.

When Brad attended his first OA meeting, he was a nervous wreck. He didn't know how they worked, what he'd be asked to do, what the meetings were like, or even if he'd be welcome as a newcomer. In this episode, Brad unpacks what to expect at an OA meeting, what the group "norms" are, and how to find and participate in "unofficial" secular OA meetings.Have a question or comment? Email Brad at nogodoa@gmail.comHere are the two secular resources he shared in the podcast for finding official and unofficial secular OA meetings. They are also a great resource for secular podcasts and other resources: www.secularovereaters.org and www.secularoa.org

You hear it all the time in Overeaters Anonymous meetings: how do I find the right sponsor? In this episode, Brad explores the idea of sponsors, what they do, how to find them, and whether or not there is such a thing as the "right" sponsor. Have comments, suggestions, or criticisms of the podcast? Reach out to Brad at nogodoa@gmail.com

Do you struggle with unwanted feelings like shame or anger after you've slipped up and binged? Brad certainly does. But he's found a system that is helping to process these feelings, understand where they are coming from, and work to change them. It's a method pioneered by meditation teacher Tara Brach, but don't worry if you're not into meditation. It works just as well outside the context of meditation, too. Join Brad as he explores the R.A.I.N. of his feelings of shame and guilt.For more on R.A.I.N., visit Tara Brach's website at www.tarabrach.com

In this episode, Brad talks about a book he's reading that has transformed the way he understands the "disease" of compulsive overeating and some practical tools to help get control of it. The book he mentions is Anna Lembke's Dopamine Nation, which he highly recommends for anyone on the Overeaters Anonymous journey who is interested in understanding the brain science underlying addiction.Have you read it? Brad would love to hear from you about your reaction and experience! You can email him at nogodoa@gmail.com.

Brad takes another look at the very god-heavy step 3 of Overeaters Anonymous so that he can unpack the idea of "will" and what it looks like without a deity to turn it over to. It's a surprisingly complex word that we can often use to lie to ourselves about our beliefs, intensions, and actions. 

It's impossible to work your way through the Overeaters Anonymous program without coming across the word "prayer" over and over again. How does an atheist deal with this? Is there a non-religious substitute for prayer? What is really happening when people pray? Join Brad as he explores these issues and introduces his own worldview behind prayer and it's purpose.Special thanks to a listener who inspired this episode with a question sent to nogodoa@gmail.com!

In this episode, Brad shares his personal mantra and explores how it has been effective in his Overeaters Anonymous journey. Perhaps it's something that will help you in yours as well.

Step three of Overeaters Anonymous is where a lot of atheists and agnostics check out of the program. It reads like this: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. What on earth can we do with that? In this episode, Brad explores how he approaches this important step without a belief in God in a way that is authentic, effective, and accessible. Brad would love to hear from you at nogodoa@gmail.com!

"Act as if" is a term that comes up often in Overeaters Anonymous, and it usually means something like "act as if there is a god until you believe in one." Obviously, that's a problem for atheists and agnostics in the program. In this episode, Brad explores other ways he's found helpful to "act as if" in the program that are based in science and common sense rather than a faith-based belief in a deity.

It's a sad day in the world today as Russian forces invade Ukraine, not to mention all the other suffering happening in our own country and elsewhere. For many of us compulsive overeaters, food was the place to find relief from such heavy feelings, even though it was temporary and destructive. But can meditation be an effective alternative to eating away our feelings? In this episode, Brad explores a few different kinds of meditation and shares his process for dealing with his emotions without turning to food.

Step Two of Overeaters Anonymous talks about restoring ourselves to "sanity" regarding food. Does that mean we are "insane" if we compulsively overeat? In this episode, Brad explores how the meanings of these two terms have diverged over the years and how, by understanding their current meanings, we can adapt this step to our OA journey as atheists and agnostics. Do you have comments or suggestions about this episode? Brad would love to hear from you at nogodoa@gmail.com!

In this episode, Brad jumps into step two of the Overeaters Anonymous program and runs headlong into the "Higher Power" problem for atheists and agnostics. Can we be successful in OA if we don't believe in a higher power? What does that even mean? Brad explores his own version of step two and gets honest about some of the challenges he's faced in the program so far.

In this episode, Brad explores the hole left behind after he stopped overeating and the desire to fill it with something new. Can it be done? How do we go from drowning our emotions in food to allowing ourselves to feel them without just wanting to return to the food? 

In this episode, Brad continues his exploration of the first step of Overeater's Anonymous from an atheistic perspective. Why is it the most vital step? How do you know you've completed it? Brad also explores the background of the "Big Book" of AA, which is used often in OA meetings, and why it can be so problematic for non-religious members of the program. 

In this step, Brad dives into the first of the Overeaters Anonymous twelve steps, unpacks its archaic and Christian language, and talks about what this step looked like for him as he entered the program.