Ten Ideas

SQUAWK, this week we're amended by Sudi Green (SNL, the show) and Matt Rogers (Las Culturistas, the p'cast). SQUAWK, we talk about Godgirl, sapient chick'ns, stinky babies you flush, and Thrills Day. SQUAWK, no one wants to hear Taylor's school dance story. Not even me, him as a parrot, SQUAWK.

Old friends Mike Spence and Andrew Farmer are on the Ten Ideas HOT SEAT this week, and they're reppin' nose gills, bed wheels, new feels, cool mills, and of course, as you'd guess those dang triplets de Belleville. Also, Anna got a dog.

Ana Fabrega and Lorelei Ramirez make STAR TURNS in a Ten Ideas first: one of our hosts is beset by disaster and is MISSING! Can Ana and Lorelei carry the show with only one host? Will any ideas be about skeletons? How much toxin can orphans "take"? Can your boyfriend board your Quit Blimp? The answers to all these questions (yes but just barely, yes of course look at the episode image, in reality very little, yes) lie just beyond this episode of Ten Ideas!

Josh Sharp (stand up, sit down, all round Clown Town) and Ryan Haney (currently acquitted of all charges) visit Ten Ideas this week, the ONLY Antifa-Comd-P'cast, to RADICALLY EXPERIMENT with the format of the show. We're trying something new! But don't worry, all your favorite goofs still happen: dust falls off things when you pick them up, Damn Daniel goes to golden corral, Sophia Vergara's unveils her Jamaican accent, and of course allllll the busboys at Sardine's take a seat to help with dessert.

PREPARE for a PRE-ELECTION blast from the pASSt. Taylor mis-labeled this episode and so it never got released in 2016. But we found it! Guests Patti Harrison (@party_harderson) and Jes Tom (jestomdotcom.com) have been mellowing in our cellar like a reserve chablis and [chef kissing fingers motion] ooooh, it's a come out-a so nice. LISTEN to what people sounded like before Trump was president. What a soothing refreshment! And of course we got your standard Ten Ideas stalwarts like ghost apps, canyon faces, chimneys but for cold, and we're all stars now, IN THE GHOST SHOW.

Spooky boy Michael Wolf is on the show this week (This a weekly show, don't forget!) and he's brought a heapin' helpin' of good ideas: ie, eg, etc, a vow of silence for young'uns, leg wheels, and probably more than just those two, but there's only ONE WAY to find out! Ask him in person! Will Anna and Taylor solve the mystery?

Spooky boy Michael Wolf is on the show this week (This a weekly show, don't forget!) and he's brought a heapin' helpin' of good ideas: ie, eg, etc, a vow of silence for young'uns, leg wheels, and probably more than just those two, but there's only ONE WAY to find out! Ask him in person! Will Anna and Taylor solve the mystery?

WHOA! Look at this. Dana Clinkman is our guest this week. I've heard of a "natural fit" but a "guest who's a hit"? This is ridiculous! Dana should host the show. Taylor should quit. We asked and YOU decided. JK, we didn't ask. This is not a democracy. On this week's episode: jumping, islands, nurses, chubby little truthers, sippy piggies, Hillary wins, big mama swaddlin', crossfit, toys and (fan favorite) rose-tube crack-pipes. All aboard.

Well, we got fired from our positions as Donald Trump's campaign managers, so we're back at it with this week's Ten Ideas. Allow us and our new pals Sudi Green and Nick Packard to invite you to our dinner bed for bed dinner, calmly explain to your 14-year-old that god doesn't exist, make out for an hour and then, yep you guessed it, switch buttholes. Standard meet 'n' greet, really.

Tallie Medel of Cocoon Central Dance Team and star of The Arbalest (SXSW 2016 Grand Jury Prize Winner) swings by the ol' Idea Distribution Center this week to show us her jury and just how grand it is. Come for the communal eye drops, but stay for blood drinks, Bambulance, dogs with human eyes, and a dark, marching band vision of a shutter-based dystopian future. I mean, this one's got everything folks.

Dan Glaser, funniest mom on twitter.com, is proudly astride the Ten Ideas carousel this week. Which wonderful wooden horse will he choose: Nutgloves, Handals, Good Pains, Dr. Hercules, Mommy's Little Quidditch Team, Cat with Down's Syndrome, or Painera Bread? Only one way to find out, this week on Ten Ideas.

This week, performance artist and comedian Tim Platt deep dives into our dark, dark waters to fish out woke pastas, wind beaches, beta fish, alpha fish, and a new kind of triangle that makes you go insane. Come for the quiet, bone chilling whispers but stay for the Bad Cave Town Show Choir and Laser Light Show. Seriously, stay. You don't have a choice.

POWER COUPLE ALERT: Bowen Yang and Halle Kiefer are on the show, and they came here to do two things: give you an excellent $30 (with tip) haircut and make you watch them curl one out while they do it. Also: reputation farms, opera grunts, BizLing, and this time Taylor remembered to bring the bells! It's Christmas in June!

This week, JD Amato, comedy bon vivant impresario, host of the 12 Hour Podcast, and Executive High Commander of the Chris Gethard Show comes to life in our little magical cabinet and we talk about some KILLER (wink wink) ideas. Sneaky taxes, the new profane lexicon, Yakkity Dogs, and of course, growing up in graveyards w/ Ghoulie Pappas. Next stop DARKTOWN. All aboard.

Jo Firestone, she of Dr. Gameshow (Mondays on WFMU!), she of Chris Gethard Show (Wednesdays on Fusion!), she of lists of Comedians 2 Watch (Every couple of weeks on the Internet!) is our guest this week and it looks as if we MIGHT have a new Ten Ideas Champion. Like a duck to water or a man to a tall egg, Jo is at home and at play on the beach of tall buses, genital grade-curving services, Lil' Itchies, and human parking garages. This episode will make you feel like you're IN Venice Beach: No rules, just right.

Writer, actor and Virginia Woolf truther Susan Casey is in the Ten Ideas saddle this week and she's bringin' good sugar to your front-butt, magnets for your virus, purples for your monies, and a sleeping bag for the subway trip to Kiev. You DO NOT need the permission of a man to listen to, like a lot, or subscribe to this episode of Ten Ideas.

This week, author-poet-trumpetboy-handsomeman Mark Vigeant is in the Ten Ideas balloon parade and he's creatin' jobs, f***in' bugs, fighitin' birds, slowin' trucks, tweetin' bits, portrayin' women, and not wantin' snacks. FYI, this episode contains one of the greatest Ten Ideas songs we've ever laid down. So get them earplugs in and come with us. June the 8th be with you.

One look at our guest Michael Kayne's hip new wet spot and you'll cancel that vacation, tear up your save-the-date funeral invitation, stomp your racist hermit crab to death, and set aside the rest of your life to listen to this hot new episode, guv'nah!

Mmmmmm, grip that hot bog salad with both hands and sidle up to the dulcet groans of Nicole Silverberg (Reductress, GQ) and Cory Palmer (The Chris Gethard Show, UCB) as we use all the vocal space available to us in the new Ten Ideas Cathedral (yes, we are avail for weddings and occult sanctums).

This week on the still-wet-with-afterbirth Ten Ideas resurrection, we dust off our two RealDolls (and two real dolls), Langan Kingsley and Aaron Jackson, hardcore FotS, to discuss fake lakes, universal hunger/underwear, camouflage for pets, Dickensian chic, Mr. Mime and of course Andy Serkis's Anti-Circus. Come like us on Facebook so we can chat online, how bout it?

Ten Ideas is back, with new co-host Anna Drezen, and we got fresh new ideas you can plant in little cuts in your body and watch them grow grow grow. Pink ponk pink, that's a good-a podcast yum yum eat it up. RIP Ryan Williams forever. You're telling ideas to God now. Bell.

Hey!! Guess who's back! Ten Ideas is! Next week we got new episodes and a new host, but in the meantime enjoy our newly activated archives where you can listen to all the Ten Ideas you could ever want and THIS: the infamous lost episode of Ten Ideas called Hot Snow, with best sport in the world and very patient guest, Yoni Lotan.

Halle Kiefer and Dan Chamberlain, both beloved of the show and of G_D, are in the studio this week and we've all got so much to learn: neat facts shouted at us from the bleachers, what kind of beautiful dog we'd leave our families for, the deeply rooted anxieties of the american clown, how to swap a soup, a recipe for the biggest pancake in Indiana, and the best picnic aperitif to share beneath the historic Glen Canyon Juggalo/HumanAnt Canopy. WE'RE HAVING A LIVE SHOW!!! ON FEB 28TH!! EMAIL WEHAVETENIDEAS AT GMAIL DOT COM TO RESERVE TICKETS!!

TRIGGER WARNING: If old-fashioned, politically tone deaf terms for the mentally handicapped and developmentally disabled bother you or upset you or offend you, you do not want to listen to this week's AMAZING episode of Ten Ideas with BRILLIANT guests Anna Drezen and Damian Chadwick! Seriously, if the idea of all the developmentally disabled people in the world living together on a big mountain overlooking a Sea World orca tank is something that will make you sad or angry and you do not want to feel sad or angry, then go listen to The Nerdist or something. I hear Beyonce is on their show this week and guess what, the boys are big fans and they let her know it. Hear more Anna Drezen @annadrezen and more Damian @damianchadwick. Send all complaints to ryan.williams@gmail.com

Uh oh! Churlish little scamp James Dwyer is back and he's just full of beans! Beans and arena-based mock naval battles and camera balls and nut-do-nuts and shitting/crying garb cans and spray-on condoms and A WHOLE TUB OF GLUM. Glum for everybody! GLUM! GLUM! GLUM! GLUM!

David Bluvband is in the studio this week, our last show of 2014 (Go '14 for it!), and oh god you can see his 'fish foot' through his body sock. That's not all you can see! Take an aural gander at our judgmental teeth, the Rockette's vulva-alt-world, and Dr. Amanda's Fantastimagical Subway Money Raffle. Happy New Year everyone! You can follow David via twit-twit @bluvband

Caitlin Bitzegaio and Dan Glaser are with us this week which makes a party of four at a great little table high above the Colorado River on the plexiglass expanse of the New Grand Canyon Memorial Glass Coffee Table of America. Grab a chair, stake your claims, and hold my hand ;)

Hail Lil' Romeo, Hail, for it was he who gave us the Flip 'n' Go's that bedeck our country by-ways and fill our Winter Olympics and certified the Dentist Rodmans and it was he who gave us our guests this week, Karin Hammerberg and Sal Gentile. Hail him for oooh baby what a caesar.This year make sure 10% of your personal pet intestinal snakes go to Lil' Romeo. Follow Karin @karilouhamm and Lil Sal' @salgentile

Granted, since we were shrunk down to minuscule size by our Dad's shrink ray it's been hard to navigate this public men's restroom, but Mike Scollins is here now and everything's gonna be fine. Avoid the uncircumcised horse, don't huff the rubber garbage spray and everything will be fine. We'll be home in no time. And if not, just gland gas yourself and forget I promised we would be. Don't forget to follow @mikescollins for real good fun you like!

Take your tongue out and settle in, Diana Kolsky and Cory Palmer are in the studio this week, or at least their brains-in-tanks are. We got giants (with the guess what); we got Scream Wallets (you know who), and we got a whole nerf arena you can drunk drive in if you want (you know you do). The safeword is "Rosebud."

Come little children and listen up now your time is a coming, and this'll be how. You'll yell and you'll scream, run up and down aisles, You'll kick backs of seats and you'll do it with smiles. But the KACKIT is watching. The KACKIT sees all. And when you're not looking, The KACKIT will fall from the overhead bin where your mom stowed her bag. The KACKIT will grab you, and off you'll be dragged to a part of the plane where no one must go to a black, freezing room only KACKIT-kin know. So settle down childrenand stop all your tears stop yelling, stop screaming, stop making noise here. For the KACKIT will hear you and take you away, deep in the dark, and your parents will say "Such a shame such a shame, it just isn't right. Oh 'twere our child back! but until then This is such a nice flight."

Siobhan Thompson (!) is on Ten Ideas this week to do two things: use her iron talismans to keep the Fey at bay and measure places by how Narnia they are. And guess what? She's all out of iron talismans. You'll need a hot subway Barbicide shower to wash the stink of this one off you, babies. Listen up and find Siobhan @vornietom somewhere inside the Twitterplex.

You've heard of the animated classic They're Back! but WE'RE back?? Now I've typed everything. Ryan's out of the hospital (voluntary surgery re: face stuff) and Ten Ideas is back with a delightful little sassy-puss named James Dwyer. Give a listen, don't pollute.

Pat O'brien and Ben Wietmarschen are our guests this week and we got a corker. A real corker. What is this? A podcast or the mouth of a bottle of champagne, because all I see is a bunch of corks! JK, unless if by corks you mean a bunch of corn steelin' ghaggots. We're swimmin in those. You can see Ben and Pat in their spectacular stage show Baseball Is America at the UCB Theater on September 22nd at 8pm, visit here for more info and tickets: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/3849

Tim and Tom from the seminal The Complete Guide to Everything podcast are our guests this week and boy oh boy is it fun. And by fun I mean A LOT of Elizabeth Warren talk, a prescription for Doctor Thunder's Healthy Baby Elixir and Unguent, Ryan thinks bottle scavengers are bugs not humans, and Tim sneaks onto a roller coaster to take indie before and after coaster pics. These guys are darlings or your money back. Check out Taylor's cool new T-Shirt line here http://kck.st/1oRgAQ1 and Ryan's desperate plea for donations here http://kck.st/1nhvU7k

This week, filmmaker and libertine Kirk Larsen shows us the front of his hands, the back of his hands, where the little boy made of pop tarts lives in his condo, what happens when you don't play by the rules, the future of barber vlogs, and just so much more. Start listening now; the pizza guy will come soon.

This week, New York Comedian James Dwyer plants his flag in the pliant mons pubis of Ten Ideas and makes naked the nascent racism in "Dixie", plumbs the depths of Jeff Foxworthy's prophetic under-mind, and buys loosie potato chips for all the turtisses in his Fun-Drunk Colony. Sew your lips together and settle in; this is a good one.

Tall wheelchairs, dolphin-cam robot articulators, beef sashimi, American Idol theme restaurant hostess training, jerky stew, another idea about meat, commuter simulation for mandatory ab havers, and a new way to....wait. Hold up. You got some boozefruit in your lip chimes. Other side. There ya go, you got it. What was I saying?

This week, Steve Theiss and Zack Willis will goosestep into your ears and then stomp the yard of your heart. From the Cambodian Killing Fields to the Basque of the Giraffe Half, everyone loves this episode of Ten Ideas. This is a good one.

Langan Kingsley and Aaron Jackson are in the Ten Ideas Cathedral today and they are dolling out liturgy after liturgy of great ideas that are gonna knock your ass back into the Gay Library where you belong. Try not to slip on the rosary beads, and don't step on Toko. He's a littl--oh dang man, you got Toko everywhere.

Writer and comedian Joe Stanton is right here, right now, and he's brought enough pico de gotta-go for everyone! Spread it on the wet walls of the ham pit (not the befouled one) and dig in. For real tho, NOT the befouled one.

Alexis Pereira has some ideas, and what better place to sonically display them than here on Ten Ideas? Nowhere! This week, we're all about solving probs (short for problems). Too many bees in your "product"? You're covered. Terrible prosecco at your famous murder mystery party? We fix it. Apartheid, how to behave when hungry, and how to get rid of two strippers named Kleenex and Drain are all probs we solve, this week on Ten Ideas.

Kirk Larsen and Dan Chamberlain are back this week and they've got cheeks full of flavored milk to squirt into you! Watch out for land boats, fleet week, tooth paint, cord lifts, and dance jail. Because they are certainly watching out for you. Tenth caller gets balcony tickets to a matinee of Canoosies!, the new current events/native crafts inspired Disney musical. Sorry.

Dan Chamberlain!? Kirk Larsen!? TOO much talent and charm!? Scoots!? Suicide pillows!? Kissing presidents!? Knife tapping sounds!? Babybird restaurants!? This is Ten Ideas, the @Midnight of podcasts where everything's great and a real big deal.

Inside every Easter Bunny Costume is a man dressed as Jesus, and inside this episode is man named Dom Manzolillo! This episode of Ten Ideas has WALL2WALL attitude and if you don't believe me, listen to this: Sex Catapults. Tell your table captain to order a hot trough of these ideas!

We're back from Spring Break! And like a couple of hot co-eds gettin wild for the cameras, we've brought our besty, Katie Simon, she of Legs For Days and Former Business Partners to get this party started. Ryan got his hair braided AND hepatitis. Taylor got a tribal arm tat and also hepatitis. But YOU got a great episode of Ten Ideas headed straight for your hepatitis hole. Get hip to hep and follow Katie Simon @kmsimon

Friend of the show, Halle Kiefer is our guest this week and she's brought a sack with her, a sack heavy and wet with new goths, fake funerals, rechargeable batteries, thin little bagels, herbed gums, and bloodied but very much alive 9 year-olds. Listen as she dumps her sack up your ear caves! Find her @hallekiefer.

Matt Dennie and Josh Sharp, janus headed comedy duo darlings of the UCBNY, hop on the Ten Ideas stationary motorcycle this week to rap about pregnancy-terminating accordions, cat kicks, speech karaoke, merlove, and hot gossip ticker tape machines for modern busy-body oil barons. This episode would be PERFECT for an elephant.

Ten Ideas' (sp?) favourite , Halle Kiefer, joins us this week to use the British spelling of favorite and talk about magic mirrors, gifts of the magi, big ol boobs, platonic gimps, snack-crackers, sex olympics, trained fireflies for indoor lighting, and my (Taylor's) favorite idea of all time but i won't tell you what it is because I think you'll enjoy being surprised by it. You're welcome! Halle Kiefer is wonderful. Find her @hallekiefer.

TEN IDEAS ROLL CALL! Guest Brian Glidewell, here! Bear Backs, here! Opus Dei, here! Babysplaining, here! Water Bags, here! Capt. Creemcheese? Capt. Creemcheese? He's out of town. Okay! Ryan Raps, here! The Corningware Story Colon Chapter Two, here!

"Listen up, ghouls and ghoulettes, for the brilliant and available Brian Glidewell is in the studio this week to dish! He's got all the gossip little ghoulettes crave, you know- fake palindromes, sweaty mummies, gored up hankies, and fake stars just to name a few. It's a progressive rock spectacle you can't "afford" to miss!" -Zagat's