The Bottom Bible

First things first, it's been a lot for those of us residing in the United States of What IS EVEN HAPPENING. We're fiercely pro-choice and advocates for bodily autonomy. If you need guidance or support there are resources available. https://prochoice.org/patients/naf-hotline/ - is a good place to start. Secondly, we're back! In the spirit of providing a safe space to unwind from the current madness, we bring you a lighthearted "catch-up" episode where we share our current Summer "MUST WATCH LIST". From Sexy Daddy Pirates to Gorgeous Drag Queens, we've got a show recommendation for just about everyone. Enjoy, Fight the Patriarchy and Be Safe

This week is almost like a book club, but really we just wanted to talk about Mr. Darcy, the brooding sex pot from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. He was the original hot grumpy guy, but who's portrayal of Mr. Darcy scores the highest? We found a top 12 Hottest Mr. Darcy list and are prepared to come to fisticuffs if Colin Firth isn't top of that list. Which other Darcys bewitched us, body and soul? You've got to listen and find out!

It's time to celebrate some serious accomplishments in women's history, y'all! It's mind-blowing that even in the year of our gourd 2022 we're still seeing firsts being celebrated. Like, you mean we haven't already done it? Why not? It's the floating uterus thing again, isn't it? Let's try to keep the rage to a minimum and celebrate these firsts by some bad-ass women. Bottoms up!

We're baaaaaack! We planned a brief hiatus, and 100% planned to be back a few weeks ago, but life said, "Slow your roll, babes". So here we are, just in time for the end of February with a brand new episode! We kept things relaxed fit this week, catching up on some new job news, our latest online obsessions, and some old fashioned Bottom Bible blathering.

We fancy ourselves sage Bottoms, full of wisdom and great advice - but how do we fare going head to head with professionals? This week we dip into Slate's advice columns from the last few years and pit ourselves against their actual advisors. We'll read some letters to their different advice columns, Pay Dirt and Dear Prudence and try our hand at doling out the wisdom. How did we do, would your advice be any different? Listen and let us know!   This is a chonky episode, clocking in at over 90 minutes! We wanted to give you a big helping of Bottom Bible goodness to keep you satisfied over the Christmas and New Year's holiday. We'll see (hear?) y'all next year! Happy holidays, and see you in 2022, byeeeee!

Did you know Christmas used to be prime ghost story telling time? Now the true horror of the holidays is forced time in malls, stressing about package delivery times, and awkward family dinners. But once upon a time, there were tales of true terror told around roaring fires that were probably fueled by some spiked eggnog. This week, we're swapping scary stories and ranking them from one to five on the Jolly Saint Dick scale. Grab your favorite cozy blanket, or strip down to your birthday suit, whatever floats your holiday boat! And if you're the person that's required help out of a haunted house or maze, this one's for you. Bottoms up!

It's all about the buns, hun! Big butts still reign supreme all over social media feeds, making the Brazilian Butt lift the most sought after, and risky, plastic surgery procedure. What exactly does the BBL do? We break down that butt lift in today's episode, giving you the facts, figures, and risks involved. If you're interested in reading more, please take a peek at the articles used to research today's episode down below. Never more fitting than today, Bottoms up!     Links: Healthline - Brazilian Butt Lift Vox - BBLs in Miami Cosmo Clinic - One Year Post BBL Jezebel - Vogue Discovers Big Booties  

We're talking Sexy Santas this week! Katy has rustled up a variety of celluloid Santas for us to rank this week. We'll rate their sexy Santa appeal on a scale of one to five yule logs, and we absolutely encourage you to play along. Who will top our list? Will there be any perfect 10s? You've got to listen to find out! Did we miss any Santas, are there any other North Pole residents that strike your fancy? Write us at thebottombible@gmail.com or sled into our DMs on Instagram!

We're going very elastic waistband cozy this week with a Careless Whispers episode! This week we almost stay on topic with our thoughts on Dune and Cruella, Brazillian butt lifts, and some unconventional crushes. Bonus sexy shoulders and Bake Off twin vibes!   We'll be off next week, but we'll see you all for another dose of Bottom energy the following week! Byeeee!

We're exploring a new kind of series episode this week, asking the thing we whisper to ourselves at least once a day, "Why am I like this?!". As a nod to the last bit of Halloween spirit still in the air, we're kicking this series off with a fear theme. Inspired by the meme of two friends having a text convo about their worst fears - one is dying and being forgotten forever, the other is the Kool-Aid Man, we're unpacking our more niche fears. No spiders, chupacabras, or public speaking here - just major emotional trauma and the deep-rooted existential crisis. Fun!

It's Halloween week, at long last! Gather around the podcast campfire and let Katy terrify you with some ooky spooky real life nightmares. Spoiler, at least one of these will take place in Florida. We hope you all have a great Halloween, and enjoy your nights - whether you're hanging with your bffs or enjoying a horror movie marathon at home. Happy Halloween, babes! Esquire - Ten Terrifying But True Stories

We're thrilled to have Brittany back on the pod, we love a repeat visitor! Brittany was kind enough to sit with us for a double reading, and gave us the opportunity to ask her some questions about her process. Did we get read to filth? Did we cry? Sit a spell and listen to find out! If you have any questions for Brittany, or are interested in a reading, please reach out to her on her Instagram page, Occult Made Me Do It.

This week we're looking back into Halloweens of yesteryear, starting with a brief history of the roots of modern Halloween, and exploring what Halloweens of the past were like. When did cat costumes rule the game? When did scary costumes win out over cute? And when exactly did the poisoned candy paranoia start up? Grab a fistful of slightly melted Reese's Peanut Butter cup minis and gather around the podcast fire pit with your old pals Katy and Vanessa. Bottoms up, you little spooky bébés!   ScarePros - History of Halloween Insider - Halloween Through the Years Time - Mischief Night Insider - Halloween Costume Trends  

Welcome to October! Let's slowly sink into the warm spooky waters with some mild to slightly more mild spooky Careless Whispers!   Zebras on the loose! Wilmore Funeral Home Nicole Richie's hair nightmare The Conjuring house is for sale    

This week we're talking about the recent anti-abortion legislation in Texas and marches and protests that have been planned for this weekend. We'll run down a list of different organizations if you're looking for how to get involved and help. It's not just about donations! Many of these organizations are looking for volunteers at planned events, getting the word out, and also promotion you can do from the comfort and safety of your home. Bottoms Up for reproductive rights!  

In this glorious time of period acceptance and advancements in its accoutrements, we're looking back at the history of period products. Some products, like the menstrual cup, go back much further than you may think, and some innovations like self-adhesive pads, have only been around for a few generations. And how exactly is Courtney Cox involved in all this? Sit back and relax, welcome to the Maxi Pad.  

We fancy ourselves not as regular Americans, but cool Americans. But, are we? This week we're talking about how Americans are viewed by other cultures. Are Americans seen as fake nice? Are we really super loud and coming in way too hot? Why are we like this? Give us your takes and tell us about your experiences with other cultures as Americans. Or, if you're from outside the U.S., what are some expectations you've had about Americans - did we deliver or disappoint? Tell us all about it, comment on our posts or slide into our U.S. DMs on our Instagram!

Sit back as we take your hand and lead you to the dance floor... for another round of Careless Whispers. Let us carelessly whisper sweet nothings into your ear holes about a variety of topics. Chime in on the episode's Instagram post and give us your hot takes on our lukewarm topics. Bottoms up!

Only Fans announced it will be banning "sexually explicit" content, releasing some vague guidelines about what will be considered acceptable. We have feelings about the company who built its business and wealth on the backs of sex workers now pulling the rug out from underneath them. Join us for the discussion after listening to the episode over on our Instagram post!

In a recent post, a Reddit user posed the question: "There's toxic masculinity, but what are examples of toxic femininity?" Join us this week as we go through the article and some of the over 10,000 results (not all of them, we swear) and share any that we've been on the receiving (or, yikes, giving) end of.   Share your thoughts with us here or on our Instagram!   BuzzFeed article Reddit Thread

Love is blind, but douche baggery speaks loud and clear. This week we're discussing Netflix's reality dating show, Sexy Beasts. Singles are looking for love in full special effects make up, taking physical looks out of the equation, in theory... Substance doesn't seem to factor into many (any?) of the contestants decisions, sadly it's not possible to add special effect personalities. But not all hope is lost, the special effects are outstanding and there's some cultural exchanges between the American and British cast, plus you haven't lived until you've seen a man dressed as a beaver try to make out with a woman.   Spoilers abound!   Share your favorite (or cringiest) moments with us on Instagram!

It's another Careless Whispers episode! Sit back, relax, and enjoy some sweet nothings whispered into your ears. We've got sick airline burns, naked people in nooks and crannies, and our best wild day at work stories. Bottoms up!  

Have you ever thought about how longs condoms have been around? Thanks to a YouTube rabbit hole, Vanessa did and launched into an epic deep dive into their past. They were invented to prevent disease, preventing pregnancy was bonus function, never the primary reason for their invention. You might be surprised to learn how long they've been in use, in earlier forms and as we know them now. Join us this week for a look back, way back, at the history of condoms. You've cum a long way, baby.       Pleasure and Love in Victorian Marriages (YouTube) Indian Journal of Urology - 2013 Health Ing - by Sadaf Ahsan, December 2020 History of Yesterday - 2020 Mrs. Phillips exhibit - Duke University Library

This week Vanessa is joined by longtime friend and glamorous cat daddy , Shaun Prater to share some sexy, sincere, and important moments of on-screen male nudity.   Is it our imagination, or is male nudity having a moment right now? We've seen lots of bums and the occasional glimpse of a bashful schlong. But lately dicks are more frequent gusts to the party. The latest buzz has been around the Netflix series Sex/Life and last year's Watchmen on HBO.   That got us thinking about other important moments in male nudity in film and tv. Whether it's been horny, funny, aggressive, or artistic, these moments have made an impact and we want to talk about them.   Out.com - Best Male Nudes of 2020 Eonline - A Brief History of Male Full Frontal at the Movies Inequality in 1100 Popular Films [pdf] IndieWire - Yahya Abdul Mateen II Interview

Did you know the 90s started over 30 years ago? It's all kind of a blur for some of us, but there's no denying that some 90s fashions are making a strong comeback. The 90s revival trend isn't brand new, but the popularity of Cruel Summer made it crystal clear. We're talking spiral perms, chunky shoes, pin-thin eyebrows, grunge, and how fashion often times defined the different cliques in our high school years. How are you feeling about seeing your childhood trends coming back for an encore? Are you a youth experiencing these 90s flashbacks for the first time? Share your lewks and thoughts with us! Tag us on Instagram, where we will reluctantly share some of our best (or worst) fashion memories.

Pull up a chair around our creaky joints fireside chat, we're here for another round of Careless Whispers. We've got a couple of WTF news stories, some commentary on our graceful aging process, and an update on what we're currently binging. Bring the Tiger Balm, it's also time for a Cruel Summer wrap up! Warning: Spoilers at the beginning of the episode! Consult the time stamps to avoid the spoilers.   Cruel Summer Spoilers: 2:00 - 12:35 

Let's not be coy, we've talked about squirting before. This time, we'll go beyond the basics and discuss what's happening when you squirt, is it pee, and also can we DIY it. It's not a party trick or something only seen in porn, y'all. Did you know squirting and female ejaculation has been documented for over 200 years?! 2000 years and still so many unanswered questions and mystery! Join us around the Bottom Bible campfire and let's talk G-spots, urethral sponges, and orgasms.

We all have our own list of deal breakers, those absolute NOs we run screaming from when a potential dreamboat crosses our paths. But what about deal makers? What are the things that can lure you into the lust zone when you weren't even looking? What quality in someone can move them from the neutral column to the lust column in your spreadsheet of attraction? Is it a quirky hobby, an Elliot Stabler tush, or an expert level skill in the kitchen?

Two bottom sides of the same coin, different twigs from the same branch, or half of one/six dozen of another - these two Bottoms are two flavors of the same personality type. Is anyone surprised? No. This week we're discussing our personality types based of the Myers-Briggs personality test on the 16 Personalities website. Where are we on that list? Tune in to find out, then take the test (or dig up your results from deep in your email archive) and share your results with us! Curious about all 16? Click here for the descriptions.

Trigger Warning: Grooming Behavior, Abduction   Welcome back to Cruel Summer High, y'all! Not gonna lie, the pace of Cruel Summer slowed down significantly in episodes three to five. But that teen drama groove we were served up in the first two episodes is back, baby! We're all caught up and down to talk theories, motivations, and pixie cuts. Have you been watching? What are your thoughts? Share them with us on Instagram, email us at thebottombible[dot]com, or text/call us at: (805) 628-2397.

Happy Tuesday, it's another grab bag of Bottoms today with the second installment of Careless Whispers. Today we're discussing our Primary Wound quiz results, judging books by their covers (literally, books), and movies. Sit back and relax and let our high peak moments soothe your ear holes, Bottoms Up! Tell us all about your favorite movie you've never watched, best book you ever picked at random, and share your quiz results with us on our Instagram or call/text the Bottom Hotline at (805) 628-2397.

This week Katy takes us on the road to some recent studies examining the effects of COVID-19 on erectile dysfunction and COVID-19 vaccines on menstrual cycles. The ED study is a very small group, massive dicks we're sure, just small in sample size. The menstrual cycle study is being undertaken by Dr. Kate Clancy, who is collecting data as we speak. If you've menstruated at least once and have been vaccinated, you can participate in her survey via Twitter.   Nobody panic! As we said, these studies are very new and have not published any findings yet, we just found them to be interesting and worth a closer look. Bottoms up!   World Journal of Men's Health   Forbes - Covid Causes Long Term ED?   BBC Article - Period Changes and the Covid Vaccine

Introducing a brand new series, Careless Whispers! These are like audio drawstring pajama bottoms, so comfy and soft, you can't resist them. We're keeping it casual and loose, talking about a few random topics that inevitably lead us down endless rabbit holes. This week we discuss: internet friends, a French band, Formula 1 racing, and taking compliments. Feast your ears on this smorgasbord that is nothing but everything all at once.

Happy Mother's Day, Bottom Bible style! We're shouting out our favorite mother and daughter duos (sometimes trios with Grandma making a special appearance) from television and film. What is it about certain relationships speak to us and why? We've got a little of everything - drama, comedy, documentary, absurdity, and even cartoons! Who are some of your favorite mother/daughter teams? Comment here, or slide into our Instagram DMs and let us know!

TRIGGER WARNING: Episode touches on the topic of abduction.   The color-coded notes and vintage references continue with Episode 2 of Cruel Summer focus more on Kate's timelines, showing us that the Queen Bee's life isn't as picture perfect as we thought. We're loving the 90s revival this series is dishing up, are you? If you've been curious about this show, from FreeForm and available on Hulu, dip your perfectly pedicured toes into it with us. We covered the premier episode last week, and are wrapping up our cliffhanger today. Let us know your takes on the series, and maybe also tell us about your Delia's catalog wish list. Enjoy!

TRIGGER WARNING: Episode touches on the topic of abduction.  Dust off your Delia's catalogues and butterfly clips because we're heading straight back to the mid 90's via FreeForm's new teen drama "Cruel Summer". Hot Dads, Creepy Assistant Vice Principals, local Queen Bee goes missing and a suspicious nerdy girl glow up. We cover all the major twists and turns of the series premier.  Vanessa flexes her color coded note-taking prowess and gives us a PERFECT scene by scene recap of this unique storytelling approach; a timeline that spontaneously fluctuates between 1993, 1994 and 1995.  **FreeForm is doling out this series episodically; so no spoiler warning needed just yet***  

The weather is warming up, the vaccines are happening, and the flower crowns are being dusted off... that can only mean that festival season is nigh. What better festival to explore than Kanamara Matsuri, aka Japan's Penis Festival! This week Katy tells us all about its origins and some of the sights and sounds you might experience there.   How to Celebrate Kanamara Matsuri

This week is a shit show, so buckle up. Pooping, we all do it, so let's just get comfortable and talk about it. How much is normal, how often should we be doing it, and what color should it be? We've got a lot to cover, so let's get to it! We can't help the few terrible dad jokes and bad puns that might occur, but we did try to keep the majority of the episode focused on real research. Look down below for the links to the information, studies, and charts mentioned in the episode.     Types of Poop - Healthline   Bristol Stool Chart   Probiotics May Ease Constipation - Harvard Health Blog   Probiotics: What you need to know - US Dept of Health and Human Services   8 Health Benefits of Probiotics - Healthline

We're careening into the second quarter of 2021, trying to get to the end of that quarantine tunnel. We're finally having some hopeful firsts! Vaccinations, mammograms, live shows, birthday parties (so smol), and more! Join us for a pajama pants fix, relaxed episode where we talk about the firsts that may hopefully shine the light into a quar-free zone.

Emily in Paris hit Netflix at the perfect time, right when we'd burned through our lists of long-ago curated "I gotta watch this at some point" selections. We'd done as many DIY projects as we could stand, listened to all the podcasts, baked all the breads - we needed something new, anything would do! Along came Emily in Paris and her fucking bucket hat filled with delicious empty calories of fluff. And we all ate up that fluff, some in binge sessions that lasted mere hours, others taking their time and slowly giving themselves over to Emily's sweet nectar. When did you give in? Have you held strong and not been exposed yet? Join us this week as we explore how the show no one seemed to like took over our streams.     Links: The New Yorker The Hollywood Reporter RTL (en français)

Have you ever felt personally offended by the person your friend, family, or coworker tried to set you up with? Say no more, mon amour, you've come to the right podcast. Once upon a time we've all been single and the target of a well-meaning, but maybe mostly clueless, romantic setup. And while they usually don't amount to more than an extremely awkward email exchange or painfully long coffee or dinner date, they do make for funny stories. Sit back and enjoy a lighthearted episode this week, and please enjoy Vanessa feeling personally attacked by a ghost hunting, arrogant run-around.

This week Katy shares a very personal story, that sadly, many others can relate to. Listeners may remember Katy talking about some irregular periods that, at first, were thought to be pandemic stress and hormone related issues. What she didn't share was that for over a year she's silently been dealing with more than just some inconveniently heavy periods. The real culprit was a fibroid, a large fibroid that wreaked havoc on her physically and mentally. A warning for those who are squeamish about hospital visits, surgery, and major blood loss - but we encourage you to listen and share your own stories! Please see the links below to the clinic mentioned in the podcast, as well as the organization Katy spoke about that is advocating to empower those dealing with fibroids.   Femme Next Generation Women's Healthcare The White Dress Project

Television and Movies can have such a strong impact on our fashion and style, it's a no-brainer to instantly go to the Rolodex in our minds of fashion moments we've stored away for future inspiration. This week we're looking at the bridal inspiration board we've stored away in the dusty corners of our minds and sharing our favorite bridal lewks. Vintage vibes, pouf petticoat perfection, classic lace and satin, we've even got a pantsuit! Listen in and see if any of your favorites overlap with ours, and let us know if your own wedding moments were inspired by the silver screen!

If you're a fan of the TLC series "90 Day Fiancée" you'll surely love this week's interview with newly nailed down, soon to be betrothed, friend of the pod, Vanessa's twin brother from another mother, Dana. Our lovely Dana is currently engaged and madly in love with a partner who just so happens to currently live, laugh, love in other country. She shares with Vanessa the immigration process, tips she's learned along the way and how her family feels about the long distanced love affair. 

This week we're joined by friend of the pod, Bee! A talented medium with a saucy twist who recently started an OnlyFans page where she does topless tarot readings. Bee tells us about her experience starting her page, including some real life things like taxes and background checks, and the community of creators that support each other on the platform. A sex positive experience that is socially distant and builds confidence and community... yes, color us here for it!   A big thank you to Bee for her time, we cannot wait to have her back! If you're curious about her experience or would like to book her for a reading, please visit her Instagram and get info.

Here we are, screaming into 2021, staring down the shaft of Cupid's arrow, time flies when you're quarantined in the arms of looooove. We're keeping it simple this week, chatting about some of our Valentine's day plans and dreaming of hearing your most spectacular Valentine's day fails. Apparently neither of us ever puts in any romantic effort, because there is not a fail to be found in our pasts. Help us out, tell us about a surprise gone horribly awry!

We've all heard the news about the Sex and the City reboot, we ll know it's probably not going to be everything we need but that we'll watch it anyway. So let's dip into some episodes of yore, and share some of our favorite scenes from our Cosmo queens. Post-It Notes, frothy couture gowns, vibrators, and falling socialites - they're all here!

Hey, can we ask you a quick question? How about a quick 35? This week we're doing some speed-dating cocktail conversation with each other. Using the Proust Questionnaire, which Stephen Colbert has recently brought back into the mix. And the Pivot Questionnaire, or as you may be more familiar with it, the Inside the Actor's Studio questions asked by James Lipton. Sit back and listen, or play along and shout out your answers with us!     Proust Questionnaire Pivot Questionnaire

Pandemic fatigue is FOR REAL, we're all feeling it. This week real life experiences lead us to look up some coping skills from the experts. Join us for a casual talk about what we've been feeling and how our coping skills stack up against the advice we found. Spoiler: French tutors are saving our lives and we've been buying way too much stuff on ModCloth.

It's happening... we're going to spend the entire episode talking about vibrators! Do we even need to say anything else? Okay, fine. We're going to dispel some myths and explore the vibrator's journey from the 1800s to today. She's come a long way, baby. We've all come along way, am I right? We'll also get into some fun charts and graphs about the worldwide searches for sex toys. It's a great map, y'all, check it out. Please scroll down below for the sources used in this episode.   Clue - History of the Vibrator Psychology Today The BBC The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality New York Times The Atlantic Vouchercloud

2020, you were a lot, we're glad to have bid you adieu. Join us this week for a delightfully intoxicated episode where we discuss our hopes, dreams, & goals for 2021. They're modest, personal, and attainable; as all 2021 should be. Will be start a french speaking all female rock group? Gotta listen and find out I guess!