The Pleasure For Health Podcast

How do relationships act as a mirror for us in our own personal development and how do we know when to stand up for our own perspective? Join me for an exploration of the idea of "I", "you" and the "group" and if they can work together to further our journey towards Self. 

What is the Sacred Marriage within and more importantly how can we actually embody this? Let's look at the reality of integrating opposing aspects of ourselves such as the conscious and unconscious parts of our Psyche.

In the beginning was Chaos who birthed Eros, Gaia and other gods and goddesses of the night, dreaming, darkness, the underworld. These qualities are necessary to experience 'Falling in Love' and surrendering to desire and passion. Join me for a discussion of this topic and follow me on Podbean or my website www.pleasureforhealth.com  

Join me as I talk about different types of stressors and how they affect our relationships. This model of looking at horizontal and vertical axes in our lives and what we might be bringing unconsciously into our present moment with loved ones is super helpful if you want to find more intimacy and depth. 

Co dependency is a pattern often passed on in family systems. We are recognized and acknowledged for only certain parts of ourselves and other parts are ignored or denied. This leads to a discrepancy with who we think we are and the reality of our Shadow aspects which still have power in our lives and relationships. Learning to see and recognize these hidden parts of ourselves by being 'triggered' is actually a necessary vehicle for personal growth. 

Presence is the foundation for Intimacy. Join me as we talk about what presence is and how we can cultivate more presence from both ourselves and our loved ones. Being physically present is not enough, when we are fully present with someone we listen deeply, notice subtle emotions and respond with authenticity. 

What are the roles of tension and relaxation in our ability to feel and experience pleasure? Join me for a discussion of the roles of both of these aspects and how they can work together to expand our sense of pleasure in both mind and body.   

From the perspective of the Celtic Triple Goddess - the Maiden the Mother and the Crone, how do we sense our vitality? Using the lens of our sexuality, our spirituality and our creativity we gain the full spectrum of our own life force. Join me for a discussion and exploration of this framework of Self Development.  to see more of me and my work, check out www.pleasureforhealth.com

Why do we seek to control others or the world around us? Often it stems from a fear or anxiety that is based in our own Psyche but we don't want to deal with it in ourselves so we use the effort of controlling others to try and feel better. This kind of control or manipulation can look like blaming, being critical or shutting others down. If we understand more about ourselves and where these controlling impulses come from, we can be honest and open in relationships. Join me for a discussion on this topic.  find more about me at www.pleasureforhealth.com 

Are you tired of constantly putting others' needs before your own, only to feel unappreciated and emotionally drained? Discover how the seemingly harmless habit of people-pleasing can lead to a loss of authenticity, emotional exhaustion, and a blurred sense of self, and learn how to break free from this cycle to reclaim your life and relationships! We will discuss also how People Pleasing could be a positive attribute when coming from a place of integrity and Care for others.   

Aging has profound effects on many aspects of our health and wellbeing. Particularly around our sexuality and relational wellness, aging can be a doorway to profoundly shift our way of being in our body and with our partner/s. Join me for a discussion around erectile dysfunction in all of its various forms.  find more info at www.pleasureforhealth.com  

Dr. Tina is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeritus Professor and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, medicine and social justice. Join Ailsa and special guest Dr. Tina in this discussion of Shame and how it affects our ability to parent our kids effectively and in a healthy way.  Dr. Tina can be found on Instagram @DrTinaShameless Her published works include: 'Sex, God and the Conservative Church' and 'Shameless Parenting' available on Amazon and most booksellers.  You can find out more about Ailsa at www.pleasureforhealth.com  

Many great Philosopher's and Sages have wrestled with the concept of desire. But what is it and what purpose does it serve for us as human beings? In all truth I will probably not answer these questions any more fully than they have already been answered but let's ponder some thoughts and feelings around desire together and see where it leads us.  Find out more on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com  

I have been weighing this thought recently that birth control options still give a huge amount of responsibility to the female in a relationship to 'take care' of things so physical intimacy can be enjoyed without risk of pregnancy. Is this actually allowing more freedom to us or does this mean the effects are often landing on only one person to make really difficult choices? Join me for a discussion of the pros and cons and find out more about my work at www.pleasureforhealth.com

Why do Narcissists make me feel so bad?    As humans, we have an innate desire to connect in community; find our pack, so to speak. A major part of this communal experience is the feeling of co-regulation with others. It connects us on this physiological level through our nervous system.    On our own, we have ways to Self regulate if we are stressed that might include taking a deep breath or exercising.  Self-regulation is a process of managing one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in response to external and internal stimuli. Co-regulation, on the other hand, is a process where two people work together to manage their emotions. In order to co-regulate successfully, each individual needs to be aware of their own emotions and be able to communicate them with their partner. Listen in as I discuss why Narcissistic people have trouble with co-regulation and even self-regulation. 

As a Bodyworker I have seen many examples of how disease and dysfunction has a deeper meaning to the person however I never put that together with sexual issues with our genitals in the same way, especially with the male genital. Join me for a discussion of the existential meaning of our genitals.  www.pleasureforhealth.com

A couple facing crisis in their relationship, such as separation or divorce, is on an initiatory path. Initiation is simply a set of challenges presented to an individual so that he or she may grow. Consequently, the troubles we encounter in our paths in the modern world are, in essence, initiatory to the extent that each one of them is life changing. The issue for Westerners is not so much the absence of initiation as it is the absence of a community to recognize initiatory passages.  Malidoma Patrice Some  Join me to discuss how relationships can offer us both an opportunity and a witness for initiations in our lives.  Find out more about me at www.pleasureforhealth.com  

"Our experience of our own identity is linked to the realization of our own life history. Because the ‘treasure of our memories' is what makes our lives whole."  R. Steiner   How does this affect our understanding of ourselves and potentially our use and relationship with Artificial intelligence? 

How can we spice up our sex lives again?   I wanted to address this topic, because it is one of the most common issues I hear about on a daily basis. We all hear about couples becoming ‘best friends' or about ‘lesbian bed death' or how ‘we haven't had sex in months', or ‘he/she is just not interested in me anymore' from our friends, coworkers, on TV. The idea that inevitably our sex lives diminish the longer we stay with someone in a committed relationship, or the older we get, is endemic in our society.    If you thought to yourself ‘that's not us, we are doing great!', then congratulations! You are one of the few lucky ones. But if, any part of this idea rings true to you, then listen in!   Of course, this is not a simple problem with a one stop solution, but I thought I'd share a fun idea with you that is easy to try, and might spark a move in the right direction (ie. to the bedroom...or anywhere else you fancy some hot and steamy action!)   Join me to discuss how sharing your fantasies or parts of them can catapult your relationship into hot, new territory.    www.pleasureforhealth.com  

touch is a basic human need and its important to understand we can learn about touch  - what we like, what we don't like, how to ask for touch or how to say no. What 'touches' you? How could you feed your own touch needs without having an intimate partner. Join me for this discussion and look for more ways to connect with me on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com  

Have you ever thought about whether you are a good companion or partner? We often focus so much on the 'other' that we forget to take into account our own personality. Let's look at how we can become a better person and partner and therefore attract a great person or people into our life. You can find out more about me on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com

Do you sabotage your relationships? Why do we do this and how does it serve us to do this? maybe most of all, how can we stop sabotaging ourselves and our relationships? Join me for a live discussion on these topics. find out more about me and my work here:  www.pleasureforhealth.com

"The tragedy of many people's lives is that they look for self esteem in every direction but within and therefore they fail in their search." The intimacy of connecting with Self and the awareness and honesty we bring to that relationship increases our Self Esteem and we begin to live life and make choices from a place of high self esteem. Join me for a discussion of these topics based on Nathanial Branden's book on Self Esteem.  www.pleasureforhealth.com

Do you get stuck in a loop of 'if this... then that....' ? Does this type of reaction get in the way of you creating a more intimate and conscious relationship with your partner? Join me for a discussion on how we create these response loops and how we can work with them to recreate new ways of being.  www.ailsakeppie.com for more info

Are you interested in exploring Power Play in your intimate relationships but don't know how to begin? Join me here for a candid discussion of the important points to consider when introducing Power Play to your partner and how to make sure it is pleasurable and fun for everyone involved.  See more at www.pleasureforhealth.com for support and education around relationships and intimacy

There are 3 simple steps to transforming your experience of pain or illness and allowing it to bring to consciousness important Self awareness aspects you may have been avoiding or hiding in your subconscious.   These three skills are simple and yet require some dedicated practice in order to reap the benefits of using them. As with any other relationship, the partnership we have with our body has requirements in order to make it a healthy and beneficial one. 1- Listen 2- feel 3- embody check out my website for more info www.ailsakeppie.com  

How does your personal view of reality shape your relationship and your ability to be intimate and connected with someone else? Are we creating an open-minded society or more of a closed society where one reality is the only one. Let's chat about the way we approach relationships and how that is potentially affecting our whole society.  www.pleasureforhealth.com  

Do you find that you have retreated into a smaller and smaller box in your thinking and acceptance of alternate views? We have collectively all been through a very stressful time the last couple of years and I have noticed that many of us have become more entrenched in our own viewpoints. Is this fundamentalist phenomenon a response to feeling unsafe and if so how can we move towards collective safety and acceptance again? 

Join me to discuss the idea of connection and friendship/ relationship ties. Using the famous story of 'The Little Prince'. Here is a short excerpt from his dialogue with the fox. What does that mean--'tame'?" "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties." "'To establish ties'?" "Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."

Going live in a couple of minutes What is relationship abuse? We are currently in a culture of calling people out in a more public way than perhaps a couple of decades ago. Abusive behaviour is not tolerated the way it once was. But do we need to catch up on how to really tell what is abuse and what is just an easier way to blame someone else for our issues? These are important things to consider when beginning a new relationship or evaluating an old one.

What walls do you put up in order to avoid intimacy? Join me as we talk about the rigid boundaries we create to protect ourselves: anger, fear, silence and words. When we created these rigid blocks or boundaries we are responding in a dysfunctional way to protect our sense of self or reality that we haven't yet learned how to create from within.  Find out more about me at www.ailsakeppie.com  

The art of Receiving Pleasure   On first glance this seems like something we hardly need to go into in any depth. I mean who doesn't want to receive pleasure? How hard can it be?    The answer most of us come to is actually very difficult indeed.    Why?    Because it takes much more vulnerability to open the door and receive a gift than it does to leave a gift on someone else's doorstep. Many of us become avid givers of gifts in the hope that sometime, somehow we will receive something in return, only to find that when it happens we can't let it in!    Isn't that a pretty plight? Something we have dreamed about for ages and we can't actually get in the mindset to accept it when it happens.    So how do we get in the place to receive a gift?    Join me today to discuss this process and the practice of learning to receive with grace. 

What happens when your partner innocently asks you a question like "What do you want me to make you for breakfast?"  Do you respond with your breakfast order and settle comfortably at the table to receive your partner's gift or does the question throw you into a myriad of internal conflict?  Join me for a discussion of the nuances of relating and how questions like this can make or break your relationship.  Find out more about me at www.pleasureforhealth.com  

How does power affect relationships? Is power bad? how can we take our power and how do we give away power. Join me for a discussion on this 'power-full' topic. 

How do we deal with our own emotions around intimacy and relationships? What do we need to discuss with our partners and what do we need to hold ourselves? Are there other ways to get support around our relational wounds? Join me for a discussion of these topics and questions today.

"We are, both the potentially nicest, and the potentially cruelest, species on the planet." Augustin Fuentes How will we transform violence and stop it from perpetuating more violence in our hearts, minds, families and communities? Join me for a discussion about violence and the long term effects and how to begin the healing. www.pleasureforhealth.com  

How do we show up to ourselves, our relationships and to our communities these days? Are we abnegating responsibility or are we getting involved and personal with people around us? It's easy to shame and blame others if we don't 'know' them, but how would it be if we chose to encounter even those we don't agree with, with some openness and willingness to engage? These relationship skills are necessary to creating a peaceful way forward in these days of conflict.

What specific challenges face people who are choosing to date again in their mid to late life? Perhaps having been in a long term relationship or single for awhile, it is finally time to reinvest in finding a partner, or companion or erotic playmate. Let's chat about things to consider and ways to move forward with getting back out there in the dating scene. 

We have not learned to be present with ourselves yet for the most part and because we live in a world with oppression and exploitation, we often meet conflict in a way that is combative. Let's talk about how to change that narrative and learn to use conflict as a force or change and growth. 

We are all going through a stressful and fearful time right now and this is having real, long term effects on our ability to be present and loving in our relationships. Join me for a discussion on how trauma affects our ability to be intimate and also what we can do about it. 

What is the difference between the 'fawn' trauma response and flirting? How can we tell the difference in our interactions with others and in our own bodies? Fawning, as a response to feeling unsafe, is the act of excessive people pleasing that can lead us to become involved in abusive relationships patterns. 

Inanna in this piece, so the interpretation goes, is not a `whole person' until she appears vulnerable before her `darker half', dies, and returns to life. At the poem's end, this interpretation asserts, Inanna, through her descent into darkness, the shedding of the trappings of her former self, confrontation with her `shadow', death of who she was, and final re-birth, is now a complete individual, wholly aware. Join me for a discussion, reading and a practice to glean the lessons from this story that resonate with many of our own inner journey's, even today. This is aimed at women but is completely relevant to any gender.

How do you answer the question, 'what do you want in bed'? Sometimes learning about our arousal and desires takes some work. Join me for a discussion and a guided exercise to discover what turns you on and what doesn't. 

Making a choice can be complex. Which part of us is in the driver's seat? What are our motivations and desires? Are we in integrity or do we have conflicting wants? When we take time to explore how we make choices and which part of ourselves is making the choice, we can become aware and really take responsibility for our choices in our relationships. 

We can learn everything these days, from building a chicken coop to writing a book, but learning about Sex or Relationships is still a taboo thing. Why would we want to hire a sex coach and how should we value this type of learning? 

These days there is much to negotiate in our intimate relationships. We're all still in a state of fight or flight, making us more susceptible to arguments and generally feeling more stressed out which only makes these fights harder to navigate. People are discussing important topics like how to navigate Covid and health related issues, as well as socializing, mask wearing and other important social questions right now. Let's look at this from the lens of consent and how to negotiate a consensual agreement that can work for both parties. 

Shame is a self-absorbed, self-centred and isolating experience so how do we show up to our intimate relationships if we hold a lot of shame in our bodies? How can we work to shift this Shame experience that often leads to a fight or flight response because we feel our relational bonds are threatened. If we stay in shame we are profoundly unable to engage in a healthy attachment with people around us.  Find out more about me at www.pleasureforhealth.com  

Grieving goes through a cycle: denial, pain, anger, depression, upward turn and working through and finally hope. How does this play out in our intimate relationships and how can we more consciously work with these stages to build more intimacy. 

How can we get our nervous system back on track and feeling 'safe enough' to reach out and connect with people again after so much collective stress? Join me for some tips on re-starting your ventral vagal system to find pleasure and contact. 

How can we balance self care and relationships? Listen to find out. 

listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. The skill of listening underpins all positive human relationships.