Podcasts about wounds

In this episode, the focus is on clergy abuse—a topic made even more pressing by recent headlines. The featured guest, Sandy Phillips Kirkham, shares her harrowing ordeal of being abused by a charismatic youth pastor starting at the age of 16. Sandy discusses the grooming process, the five years of abuse, and how she was ultimately expelled from her church while her abuser was merely relocated. She delves into the long-lasting impact of the abuse on her life and her spiritual journey, how she concealed her trauma for 27 years, and how she ultimately confronted her abuser. Sandy also provides valuable insights and actionable advice for preventing abuse and supporting victims within church communities. Her story is also detailed in her book, ‘Let Me Prey on You,' which offers a detailed account of her journey from victim to advocate. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:32 Introducing Today's Topic: Clergy Abuse 02:17 Sandy Phillips Kirkham's Early Life and Church Involvement 06:22 Meeting the Abuser: The Charismatic Youth Pastor 08:43 Red Flags and Grooming Tactics 13:51 The First Inappropriate Act 16:37 The Abuse Escalates 21:06 The Aftermath and Church's Response 28:15 Life After Abuse: Marriage and Keeping Secrets 32:09 Protecting Future Generations 35:17 The Importance of Sex Education in the Church 36:32 Techniques for Discussing Sex with Children 37:22 Personal Experiences with Sex Education 38:20 Triggering Memories and Emotional Breakdown 40:13 The Journey of Healing Begins 41:31 Understanding Clergy Abuse and Self-Forgiveness 43:52 Confronting the Abuser 47:07 Challenges in Seeking Justice 54:47 Preventing Abuse in the Church 01:00:31 Supporting Victims of Clergy Abuse 01:05:07 Final Thoughts and Resources Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.” https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/ https://www.facebook.com/KirkhamAuthor/  sandykirkhamauthor@gmail.com  Purchase her book “Let Me Prey Upon You” on amazon: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/let-me-prey-upon-you/   Link Tree   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/   Sandy Phillips Kirkham [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello. Welcome everyone. Welcome to my regular listeners, as well as some new listeners that have joined us today. I have a great guest for you today. We're going to be talking about clergy abuse today. Religious leader, abuse. Pastor, youth leader. You've seen this in the news recently with all these preachers being arrested or charged with sexual misconduct or rape or [00:02:00] pedophilia. I'm sure you've seen the news. Well, today we're going to hear a story about a woman who's been victimized in that way and she's fighting back. So let me read her bio for you. A church is where an insecure 16-year-old girl should feel welcome, happy, and most importantly, safe tragically. For some, the church can become a place of great harm. Sandy Phillips Kirkham details her account of how charismatic youth minister preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken with a shattered faith and the ultimate shame of being blamed enforced from the church she loved. Despite a successful and happy life, is a wife, mother, and friend. Sandy successfully concealed her abuse for [00:03:00] 27 years until a trigger forced her to face the truth. Sandy's story will take you on her journey of healing. Her strength and courage will inspire you. Let me pray upon you her book details. Sandy's journey from innocent 16-year-old, a victim to a survivor, and advocate. We please welcome Sandy Phillips. Kirk, welcome Sandy to the show. Thanks so much for coming on. Well, thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. Wow. So I've been listening to you on the Preacher Boys podcast and thought you had a really great story, and so I wanted to come and bring you on so my listeners can hear your story as well. Mm-hmm. So tell us a little bit about your home and your church environment growing up. Let's [00:04:00] start from the beginning here. Okay. I'm the oldest of five. My parents were divorced when I was about seven, which that was really the impact of my life, of just how it altered everything about that time in my life. Then my mother remarried and we moved in with my stepfather shortly after my father remarried, and so I was dealing with these blended families and it was just very confusing for me at the time, my parents and stepfather did not attend church. So I, I wasn't a part of a church until I was about eight, and that's when my best friend who lived up the street invited me to go with their family, and I went with them and I went every Sunday after that, I absolutely fell in love with church. It was a place that I felt safe. I think it provided for me a place away from home that I felt comfortable and I got attention there. I was very active even as a small child. I went to vacation Bible school, church camp, love Sunday School. I sang in a junior choir. Really, it was a just a great place for me to [00:05:00] be. When I was 13, I was baptized and then my faith really deepened and my involvement in the church became even more so, started teaching Sunday school and teaching vacation Bible school. I started serving on committees with adults and doing more of the activities that would, , just be more in depth than just typical youth group activities. So, it's just no exaggeration to say that if the doors of the church were open, I was there and I loved it. I loved serving God. I felt that was the place for me, and everything about it was brought me joy and peace in the church. Wow. You really, were very sincere in your faith. It was not a fake one. I hear a lot of stories of. Being brought up in the church and being made to go to church and, you just go through the motions kind of thing. But it sounds like it was the opposite for you. It was that you really believed this with all your heart. Was that a fundamental Baptist church you were going [00:06:00] to or what? It was a church, Christ Christian Church, which is similar to the Baptist. It's an independent church. Yeah, that's the church. That was so something happened while you were serving the Lord and loving God. You met your abuser? Yes. Shortly after I turned 16, our church hired a new youth pastor, and from the moment he arrived, he was totally different than anyone we'd ever seen before. He was very charismatic, very dynamic. His sermons were really like nothing we'd ever heard before, and people were just drawn to him. He had a personality that people found themselves wanting to be around him. They wanted to please him. So he was very good at asking people to do things and they didn't hesitate. It, it was just a different kind of atmosphere. When he came to the church, the youth group exploded in numbers. We went from like 25 to almost 200 in a very short time. Even the [00:07:00] adult church was growing because people just came to hear him preach because he was so good at what he did. He was 30, married with two children, but he really acted more like our age group. He dressed like we did. He. Went to our football games at school, he knew our music. So he just, he really, he was tuned into us and in return we found ourselves, all of us being willing to please him and wanna do anything we could to make the youth group and the church better. So when people think of a profile of a child abuser, they usually think, oh, some dirty old man, that his roaming fingers or what have you, but this youth pastor sounded like, okay, he was really good looking and hip and really loved the young people. Mm-hmm. Is that typical of. Well, it's, it's typical in the sense that it's not the, dirty old man hiding in the bushes. Most abusers [00:08:00] are people we know. They're people that we like. They're usually people that, connect with people very well, and that's what makes them so dangerous because they're not obvious with what they do, and they're very good at that. They pretend to be one of us. They pretend to care, but in reality, their goal is to find a way to take advantage of the most vulnerable in, in the group. And so, predators are usually drawn to places where they will find vulnerable people. The gymnastics team is an example of that. The Boy Scouts, anywhere where you can, and certainly the church because we are welcoming into people who are in need. Oftentimes. Then there are many people in the church who are vulnerable to these types of men, and sometimes women. Were there any red flags? That you should have seen or noticed when you were around this youth pastor? Well, he came with so many different ideas and different ways of doing things. And one of the things that he was doing now, this was in the [00:09:00] seventies, so cultures were changing and it was free love and kind of thing. But he came into our church and he expected everyone to hug each other. So we were always hugging each other. And he also expected us to say how much we loved each other and that we love you and not just that I love you in Christ. He would simply walk up, give you a hug and say, I love you. Now you know, that may seem innocent, but that's a little odd for that pastor to be saying those kinds of things. And it also blurs the lines because when you say to someone, I love you, that can be confusing to. Young teenagers and even to vulnerable adults. So, but he did that with everybody. It wasn't like he picked someone else special, but, so the hugging in the contact was kind of a red flag in the beginning. But for me personally, I babysat for his family. His wife worked evenings. Mm-hmm. So one night after he came home, he asked me to go to his basement and listen to a song by Neil Diamond. [00:10:00] Well, it felt a little weird 'cause I'd never. I've been around a pastor that wanted to talk to me about anything but church in the Bible. But I went to the basement. Yeah. I mean a Neil Diamond song. So I went to the basement. I know, but that's a trigger factor for me sometimes. So anyway, I went to the basement and he put this record on and I sat down on the couch and instead of sitting in a chair or another place, he came on the couch and sat very close to me. And I remember feeling uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. 'cause I thought, well, he is just sitting next to me. It's no big deal. But that's a red flag that I felt because it felt uncomfortable to me. And then the other times that I would babysit for him. His wife wouldn't come home till late in the evening, so he would come home around seven or eight and after the kids were in bed, instead of taking me home, he wanted me to sit and talk with him all evening. So we'd talk about the Bible or we'd talk about church, and sometimes he'd ask me what I thought of his [00:11:00] sermon, which at age 16, I'm flattered that this man has any idea that I would have some opinion about this great sermon that he just gave. So I didn't see anything wrong with that because he's my pastor. But had that occurred with my 30-year-old neighbor down the street, every time I went to babysit, I know I would've come home to my mother and said, okay, this is weird. Mm-hmm. Every time I babysit, this man wants to sit and talk to me all evening. I mean, what interest would I have as a teenager wanting to talk to this 30-year-old married man? But because my pastor was who he was and he tapped into our common connection of the church and God, and again, many times he would give me books to read 'cause he wanted me to get better in my deep, in my spirituality. So I didn't see anything wrong with it because of who he was. And so I just accepted that behavior, which is another tool and technique. They look for ways to get into you. Mm-hmm. [00:12:00] That don't seem obvious. And that was, so those were two red flags for me. Now as far as the congregation goes, I was in his office a lot by myself, but so were other kids, because he would actually call us into his office and say, I want you to come in and tell me what's going on in your life. Talk to me about your problems. Instead of us going to him, he would encourage us to come into his office. So while that probably wasn't a good thing, no one saw it as a bad thing. It seemed normal, but he called me into his office a lot more than the other kids. And later on there were people who did say to me, there were times when I wondered why he said something to you like that, or I noticed something one time. And so I think people notice some things, but no one thought enough of it to say, okay, there's something going on that doesn't seem right. So those were the red flags that I think in the beginning were very subtle. But they were hard to see, [00:13:00] and this is really important to distinguish these things because I was groomed by a guidance counselor in seventh grade. Mm-hmm. But he was one of those dirty old men that, he was doing creepy stuff. Yeah. But I never would have seen myself. A pastor and he's talking about spiritual things and he's talking about God and mm-hmm. He's not talking about sex. He's not watching, you're not watching dirty movies together. No, he's not, buying you sexy lingerie. It's, Hey, he's doing spiritual things. Mm-hmm. It's a setup. It's that grooming process you're talking about. It's pulling someone in to gain their trust, in a very di diabolical way, because he's using the church to do that. That's really scary. That scares mm-hmm. Scares me to death. What were the first times that he did something really inappropriate that you were just like, whoa? Well, the very [00:14:00] first time, was after a youth group meeting that was held in my home. I was the song leader. He put me in a leadership position, and it was very important to him that the evening always go well and that we were to make people feel welcome. And so at the end of the evening, I was nervous because I wanted to make sure that he thought everything went well. And he came up to me in my hallway and began telling me how great the evening was and how proud he was of me. And I was on Cloud nine. I was flattered that he felt that way. I felt good that the evening went so well. And then he just slowly bent down and he kissed me. And it wasn't, it was a kiss, but it seemed somewhat innocent to some extent. And I, I remember thinking, I think he just kissed me. Then my next thought was, well, he's my pastor and I don't think he would be doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And it was just a quick kiss. And he's always hugging people. And so maybe this is just his way of showing his appreciation for the evening. It was really [00:15:00] the only way in my 16-year-old mind that I could justify it because I couldn't think about this man doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And this was a person that everyone loved and thought so highly of, so how could I think he was doing something he shouldn't be doing? So I just let it go. I didn't think anything more about it. I mean, did you have any sex ed or anything? Did you know the birds and bees? Nine. Well, yeah, I'm 16. I did. Yeah, I did. But I wasn't, I hadn't dated much. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, so I hadn't had any dating experience. I had one kiss before this with a boy at camp. So I wasn't. Worldly or knowledgeable about all those things. But, and again, it was such a quick innocent type kiss. He didn't grab me, he didn't push me against the wall. I just, and again, I think for me it was okay if he's, if this is more than just a kiss, then what do I do with it? So therefore I'm just gonna say it's [00:16:00] nothing because I don't know what else to do. Um, wow. I let it go. I let it go. But as I babysat for him, he, sometimes when I would leave, he would kiss me and sometimes he wouldn't. So, I didn't see it as a con, kind of a continual thing that he was always wanting to kiss me. He always hugged me. But the kissing became more intense as it went along. So it, it would be another year, before he would have sex with me. And so that grooming process and kind of pushing the boundaries each time he was with me, finally ended with him having sex with me. Oh, wow. Now, some of us listening are like an adult having sex with a child or 16-year-old. Can you unpack that a little bit more, the process of how he got to that point? I mean, that the first time you had intercourse, I mean, did he, you know, go to a hotel with you and you had a candlelight dinner, or was it in the backseat of the car?[00:17:00] Was it an accident? It wasn't an accident. He was very deliberate and I had every intentions of having sex with me that night. I babysat, I was babysitting, I put the kids to bed, I walked down the steps. I assumed that we would go into the living room. Or the family room, sit on the couch and talk about the things we always talked about. But instead, he stopped me at the bottom of the stairs and he took me into the living room, and immediately put me on the floor and began undressing me. Um, and wow, I froze. I, I literally froze and I kept thinking to myself, he's going to stop. He's going to stop. And that the entire time he's whispering into my ear how much he loves me, that he would never hurt me, and that he can, I can trust him. And then he kept asking me, do you love me? Do you love me? And I, of course, I'm answering yes, because well, yes I do, because that's what I've told him for the past year. I, I, I just, I was so confused and what my real reaction was, I froze. Mm-hmm. Um, he, he sort of pushed my head under the [00:18:00] stereo. And so when he is starting to get farther than I thought he would ever go. I blocked, I just blocked it out and I started reading the serial numbers underneath the stereo. Oh my goodness. Just to be thinking of anything else. Um, at one point he then just picked me up and took me upstairs. He literally put me on the bed, penetrated me, and that was it. And I was horrified. I was absolutely horrified. I, I wanted to cry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Um, he left the room, told me to get dressed, and he would take me home. And I remember sitting on the bed and I put the bedspread around me because I was so embarrassed that I didn't have my clothes on. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Um, and then I just remember thinking I just had sex. I'm no longer a virgin. I just had sex with this man and. He took me home. Now, in the [00:19:00] book, of course, I go into a little bit more detail, but Right, he took me home and just before I got outta the car, he said to me, now, you know, this is something between the two of us, you can't tell anyone. And of course I'm thinking, who would I tell? I, I don't want anybody to know. I just did this. So, that was the first time. And then I think I, at that point I kept thinking, you know, I've had sex with him. So now I'm committed to him again. I'm at this point, I'm 17 years old. I'm still like, what do I do with this? I don't, I don't know what to do with this. Um, and he was convincing me that he loved me. He was convincing me that he needed me in his ministry and that God, this was God's will in our lives. He threw that at me. Eventually he would say to me that we were married in God's eyes. I mean, twisting the scripture and using God as a reason that we should be together. And so. I started to accept that. There were a couple times I went to him and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. I felt [00:20:00] guilty. He would respond in one of two ways. One, he would say to me how much he needed me, how much he loved me, and that he couldn't live without me. So that was the guilt part of it. Or he would respond and by saying to me, you know, you're no longer a virgin. No one else is gonna want you. I'm the only one that knows how to love you, and you are committed to me, and this is gonna be the way it is. And I saw no way out. I didn't see a way out. And so the relationship continued for five years. Wow. Five years. It went on for five years. That is a long time. And it, during that time, he became more aggressive physically. Uh, he hit me. He became sexually more deviant. It just progressed. It got worse and worse. And to a point that I finally, I was, my self-esteem was so low. I hated myself for what I'd been doing. So I finally just accepted that this was my life. I knew [00:21:00] I'd never get married. I knew I'd never have children, and this wouldn't be over until he said it was over. This went on for five years and nobody in the church noticed it. Your parents didn't notice it. You know, people say, well, where were your parents? Well, first of all, my parents were thrilled. I was in church. I mean, this was a time in the seventies when drugs were. Prevalent girls were, having free sex. So for them, what safer place could there be than to be in church? So, and they saw his intention toward me and his involvement with me as a good thing. I mean, he would take me on hospital visits with him. I mean, they saw this as being positive. And they knew how much I loved being there and that it was a place that I liked to go. So they didn't see it. And many in the church didn't see it began because who suspects the pastor of such behavior. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And especially in the seventies when this wasn't an open topic like it is now, you wouldn't have dared thought anything like that. And so [00:22:00] it's not uncommon for people in the church, to miss the signs and to ignore what they really do see, because they just can't believe that it would be something that would be happening in their church because then they'd have to do something about it. Yes, exactly. When did it all come crumbling down? It does crumble. Eventually it does. Two elders became suspicious and followed him one night and found us together in a hotel room. And then from then on, the next month and a half was an absolute nightmare for me. Hmm. It was initially hoped that they could keep what he had done, quiet and keep it from the congregation. Now, I have to say one thing before I forget. This wasn't his first incident of sexual misconduct. Oh. Prior to and just after he was awri, he arrived at our church. A young woman from his first church came forward and accused him of sexual misconduct. When he was [00:23:00] confronted by my elders, he didn't deny it. He said it was true. He asked for forgiveness, that it would never happen again. It was a mistake. So within six months. That's when he was kissing me in my hallway. So this, so these elders were aware that this was the second time that there had been an incident with this man of sexual abuse and misconduct. But in spite of that, they tried to keep it quiet in hopes of moving him to another church. And so I was told during that time where I was to sit, how I was to respond to questions. I wasn't to talk to anyone. I wasn't to tell anyone about what had happened, including my parents. And this was all in an effort to keep it quiet. Well, that effort failed. And so it was determined that he should address the congregation. He did it in a very vague way, just simply said that he'd sinned. He'd sinned against God, and he'd sinned against his wife. And that was his confession. That was it. Two days later, he had me meet [00:24:00] him in a hotel room after that confession in front of the congregation. Now. He was moved to the next church. He was given a going away party. There was actually a vote to maybe keep him, but the vote failed and they decided to move him to the next church. About, two weeks, three weeks later, I was called in by the elders, and this is probably the hardest part of my story for me. Mm-hmm. I was called in by the elders and I was told that because of my behavior I was to leave the church. I was devastated. I loved that church. It was the only church I knew, and here I was being told by these two elders that I wasn't fit to worship there any longer. Mm-hmm. He could be forgiven and given a second, third chance. I couldn't be, I was told that to leave the church. I wasn't given any counseling. I wasn't helped in any way. I was simply told to leave and I did. I left. [00:25:00] And that I told people many times, as horrific as the abuse was, having been told to leave, that church had a greater impact on me spiritually than the actual abuse did. I don't think I ever recovered from that. It still haunts me to this day to some extent. That response of the church really devastated me. So that was the crumbling, as you called it? It came crashing down and I would, I left the church. So did that change your perception of God? What was your relationship with God this time? Yes. You were kicked outta the church, but. Well, I felt a disconnect from God. I never blamed God. I never felt like God caused this to happen. I, in fact, I carry the blame and the shame. I felt guilty for what I had done. And so I never blamed God, but because of the relationship being tied in with God and the [00:26:00] prayers that this man would give, and then, you know, he'd give these wonderful sermons about marriage and sanctity of marriage on a Sunday morning after having sex with me the night before. I had difficulty separating all of that, and there were so many trigger factors associated with the church and prayer that God really did. It was hard for me to have any kind of relationship with God. I did. I didn't become an atheist like a lot of victims do, and who become angry at God. I simply just. I just put him on the back burner. I knew he existed, but I didn't have a connection with him any longer. So for 27 years, I, I never prayed. I never opened my Bible. I went to church because when I met my husband, he was a Methodist. And I thought, well, I'll go to the Methodist Church. It's a different denomination. Mm-hmm. I'll just go on. It should be fine. It didn't work that way. I had anxiety attacks in church. I, his [00:27:00] reminders of him were constant, but I forced myself to go. I made sure that I went because I knew when we had children, I wanted them to have that church experience. But every time I walked past the minister's office, I got a knot in my stomach. Oh yeah. It had nothing to do with that minister. But you understand that. I mean, it, but I did that for 27 years. It became my norm. I just knew that when I walked past that office, I was gonna get a knock my stomach, certain hymns. I can tell you what his favorite hymn was, and every time that was played, that's who I thought of. I couldn't pray. It was so, I did have a deep, deep disconnect for 27 years, and I have to tell you, I missed it. I actually mourn that loss of my spiritual life, but I didn't know how to get it back. Because I'm keeping this secret. I'm still carrying guilt and shame. I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't feel worthy to be in church. So with all of that mixed in, I just put myself on autopilot and said, [00:28:00] well, this is the way my life will be and I'll just have to accept it. It just sounds so unfair. Somebody that loves the Lord so much and served in the church and so innocent and being kicked out. Oh, but it sounded like maybe meeting your husband would've been a positive thing for you. How did you guys meet? I actually worked at his office, so I met him there. We dated for about two years, and I just found him to be a kind, loving soul. He was very unassuming. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't, he wasn't a boastful type of person. He didn't like taking credit for things, even though he deserved it sometimes. He was just a good hearted person, and I just, I fell in love with him immediately. I really did. I thought this was a great, great guy. I mean, I will tell you, I have said many times because before I met him, I was on a destructive path. I did not have any self-esteem. [00:29:00] I saw myself just simply as some sex object that, I was only good for that. And so when I met him, he saved my life because he loved me for who I was and showed me that I was worthy. So I've often said to him, you saved my life, and he will respond back with you made mine, and you can't get any better than that. So meeting him was a turning point for me, but I kept a secret from him for 27 years, and I lived in fear that he'd always find out that I'd had this affair with a married man. And I know in my heart that it wouldn't have made a difference to him. But people who've been abused never forget the words, don't ever tell. And I never forgot those words. And I never forgot what the consequences could be if I were to tell someone. Because when my elders found out, they blamed me. And I, I couldn't bear the thought that if I were to tell him. [00:30:00] Somehow he would find fault with me, or I wondered, would he wonder why I didn't feel confident enough to tell him? Would he feel betrayed that I kept a secret? Would he see me differently sexually? All those fears that I had while unfounded were still present in my mind. And so I never could tell him. And I had to do a lot of play acting and pretending, through our married life in the sense that the times I was having trigger factors, I had to hide them. And I know he would've been supportive, but I couldn't see that. Because while trauma affects you at the time of the abuse, it's lifelong. It doesn't leave you. And so I lived with that for 27 years. So did you have. Intimacy issues when you were together? Was that what you're talking about? The triggering? No, I, know a lot of victims do, and that's understandable. I really didn't, because he was so different from my abuser [00:31:00] and I recognized that my abuser was emotionally violent mm-hmm. And physically, he just wasn't loving in any sense of the word. I was simply used for sex. Mm-hmm. And I didn't have that with my husband. And so I could separate that a little bit. But I think the guilt of hiding the secret had an impact on our marriage as far as my able to be intimate with him in an emotional way. I'm really glad to hear that. I, you are not the first person that I've heard that. The victim has hidden a secret from her husband. I passed her and a pastor's wife and her husband did not know. Mm-hmm. Children didn't know, and it was a family member that was the abuser. And I kept telling her, you've got to tell him. Mm-hmm. You know why? It's because, and I was thinking this when I was listening to your, the other shows that you were on. I'm thinking about your children and your grandchildren. If I was abused, [00:32:00] I would be like. How do I keep my children and grandchildren from going through what I just went through, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, that's an interesting thing because most people would assume that my daughter, I would've been all over it and worried sick every time she left the house. Yeah. But I actually had the opposite, reaction because keep in mind, I didn't see myself as an abuse victim. I saw myself as someone who participated, who willingly went into this relationship and stayed in it willingly, which is not the case when you're abused. There's the control, the manipulation, all of those things that play into keeping a victim in a relationship and they see no way out. So for me, I just assumed I got one bad apple in the whole barrel, that this didn't happen to other people and that I had an affair. But my daughter, who I knew, she would never have an affair with a married man, I just knew that. So I. Sent her on [00:33:00] retreats. I sent her to church camp without fear because again, I'm thinking, okay, this just doesn't happen to other people and this is not something I need to be concerned about with her. However, with my granddaughters, it's totally different because now I understand what really occurred and the damage that can occur when you've been abused. And so with my granddaughters, her mom and dad have talked to them, about good touch, bad touch. And I too have talked about to her, but I've been a little bit more probably detailed about it. Mm-hmm. And as she gets older, these men, the techniques change as you get older and they, after they go after teenage girls, so mm-hmm. Hopefully I'll be able to help her understand, what happens when someone's grooming. I want her to understand her personal space, that if you're not comfortable when someone hugs you, it's okay. That's right. Say I, I don't want you to touch me that way. Mm-hmm. Or say if they don't feel comfortable and we put a lot on kids to do that. 'cause here [00:34:00] we're asking a child to say to an adult, no. Mm-hmm. So it's okay to go to your mother or your mom and say, can you tell so and so Uncle Jimmy or whoever it is, I don't wanna be hugged. So we need to make sure our kids understand that their personal space is their space. And if they don't want someone in that space, it's okay to say no. I also think it's important to tell kids that good people can do bad things. Yeah. Because, as we talked about earlier, our abusers are not strangers. They're not mean people. Mm-hmm. They're usually good people. They're usually people who've given us gifts. They're people who help us. They're people who tell us how wonderful we are. So it's hard for children, even adults, to see this individual who. Who on one side is a good individual who does a lot in the church, who's done all these wonderful things. And so we, we have to tell these kids, just because they're a good person doesn't mean they can't do bad things. And so that's kind of the message I hope to get to my granddaughters that I didn't give to my [00:35:00] daughter. And fortunately she didn't have any issues with church or any, anybody abusing her. But I certainly did not, guide her in the right way in that sense because I just, like I said, I just assumed that I was the only one that this would ever have happened to. Well, I think, I hear a lot in the church that they don't teach sex ed because they don't want the kids to go out and have sex. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these kids are like ignorant as to, what is healthy and what is not proper, yeah. We need to teach 'em that our bodies or are going to respond. They were built that way. God intended us to have feelings. You know, when we are around the opposite sex, that's normal. Mm-hmm. So we need to make sure kids understand. But there are barriers and there are boundaries that need to be taken. But you're absolutely right when we don't talk at it, then we figure it out on their own. And we could, we can all imagine when you're leaving teenagers to [00:36:00] their own devices to figure out things. That's probably not gonna lead in a good spot. No, we have the internet now, which when we, right. When you and I were younger, we didn't have the internet. We didn't have cell phones. No. If you wanted a Playboy magazine, you had to go to that kind of a neighborhood to get something. Yes. You know? Yes. It was a lot more difficult. Yes, absolutely. But too many parents are embarrassed to talk to their children about sex and, you know, everybody listening needs to listen. You need to find a way to talk to them about these things. And one of the techniques that I use with my daughter, just in talking about sex in general, kids don't want to hear their mom and dad talk to 'em about this. So what I did would say, I read a magazine article about this girl who did such and such so that I put it off on something else that's, a non-entity of a person. And I'll say, or Have you ever heard of this? And of course I know she's got a little embarrassed, but I, it opened the dialogue without me coming [00:37:00] out and saying, have you heard of oral sex? Instead, I would talk to her and say, I heard this about this. This is what kids are doing, blah, blah, blah. So you kind of have to find techniques and ways to sneak around it sometimes, but you absolutely need to talk to, because they know it's out there and they're going to experiment. That's just part of being a teenager. Yeah, my parents chickened out. They just gave me a book to read. Same, probably the same book. I got, I forget what it was called. Where did I come from? Or something. It was a cartoon book. Mm-hmm. And I'm grateful for that. And, they just, after I finished the book, do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah. I had a lot of, older people that were friends and I would actually go to my older. Senior citizen friends and ask them questions rather than ask my parents. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's more comfortable that way for sure. Like I said, it's not the topic that we like to talk to with our kids and our kids don't wanna hear it, but being uncomfortable is not an excuse not to do that. And in school you get [00:38:00] the basics of the mechanics of it, but then that ends, that's all you get there as well. And that's not as helpful either. Yeah. The sixth grade menstrual cycle, health class. Yeah, exactly. That's it. They separate the girls and the boys. Yeah. We were all really embarrassed and Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly. Great information. So let's, circle around back to, okay, you've been hiding this secret forever. Mm-hmm. And nobody knows about your past. And then one day you got triggered. So what happened that day? Well, that's the first chapter of my book, and that is one day I was driving to a golf tournament in Tennessee. We live in Cincinnati. I was driving, my daughter was in college. She was playing in a golf tournament. I was driving down there and I was about halfway when I saw an exit sign for the town of Kingsport, Tennessee. And that is the. Town to which my [00:39:00] abuser was sent after he left our church, and it just sent me over the edge. Mm-hmm. All of a sudden I'm thinking, I'm in the town where he lives. Am I close to his house? Am I close to the church where he's now a minister? I mean, even though it'd been 27 years, I thought he was probably still there. I didn't know, but that's what my mind was telling me. I, all of a sudden I felt his presence in the car. I, I could smell him. I could hear him. Oh. I was, it was unbelievable to me what was happening to me. I didn't even know what was happening. I pulled to the side of the road Oh, good. And I sobbed. Yeah. I sobbed for about 20 minutes and I was just trying to figure out what was happening because anytime I had trigger factors before I could manage them, I could control them. I kind of let them happen and then I push 'em back down. Mm-hmm. This one wasn't going back down and I was a mess. I was just an absolute mess. I was able to get through the weekend. I drove back home and all I could think about was, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? [00:40:00] I wanted to stop thinking about him and I couldn't. I spent the next two weeks, really in anxiety. I, my husband would leave for work and I would just walk around the house, wring my hands, trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling. What was I gonna do with these feelings till at one point I finally decided I was gonna tell my best friend, and I was absolutely petrified to tell her because for the first time in 27 years, I was going to utter the words. I was sexually abused by my youth pastor. And I remember thinking, he's gonna find out and I'm gonna get in trouble. I just, I was 49 years old and I'm still afraid of this man. But I did tell her, it was, it took me a long time to, to get the words out, but I did, she was very supportive. She was very kind. She was patient as she waited for me to tell her. And so that started my journey of healing just by telling that first person. I then told two or three other of my close friends, so the four of us spent [00:41:00] many days and many hours on the screened in porch of one of my friends just letting me talk. Mm-hmm. And being able to express what had happened to me. I wasn't ready to tell all of the story. I mean, there's parts in the book that I won't go into here because they're pretty mm-hmm. Embarrassing and some things that I did. So I wasn't ready to tell them everything, but I told them enough that it helped me start to release what had been done to me. And so that was the first thing that I did, I think. And then the next thing I did, which was so valuable, and I encouraged victims to do it as well, I just read everything I could on clergy abuse or sexual abuse in itself. So I began to learn the terms of grooming, manipulation, gaslighting, and then I could see how he methodically used each one of those things on me to get me to do the things he got me to do, and to stay in that relationship for those five years. And that was huge for me. So [00:42:00] it was, for the first time as I began reading, I understood that I had been abused. Now, it still took me a while to admit that I really was sexually abused because I didn't want that label. I didn't wanna be an abuse victim. And there was a part of me. We all wanna be loved. And so there was still a part of me that I wanted to think that there was some part of him that cared about me, that this wasn't just purely about sex and that he wasn't just using me for his own gratification. And I had to get past that. I had to finally come to terms with, no, this man didn't do the no one who loves you, would do the things he did and ask the things he did of me. So that took me a while, to finally admit, okay, this was an abusive relationship. So I told someone, educating myself, and then I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to let, I had to let go of the guilt [00:43:00] and shame because any guilt and shame belongs squarely on him. This was a man that I should have been able to trust. It was in a place that should have been the safest place on earth for me. And he took advantage of a vulnerable teenager who had, I didn't have a major crisis in my life, but he knew my home life was an upheaval at times. He knew that I didn't see my dad very much. So he used that to against me. And I had to forgive myself for being who I was at the time and being able to respond the way I did for the coping skills I had at the time. Sure. You can look back. I, and I think, why didn't I say this? Why didn't I do that? But I couldn't because of, of the re of the relationship he had created between us. Mm-hmm. I had lost all power. He was in complete control of this relationship, so I had to forgive myself and that wasn't easy either. Then, and I don't know that this is something all victims should do, but I just felt this need [00:44:00] that I needed to confront him. I just felt like I couldn't move past this unless I was able to face him. Now, I had no contact with him for 27 years. I didn't even know if he was still alive, but I hired a private investigator and he found him ministering in a church in Alabama. And so I had my investigator contact him and we set up a time and a meeting that we would meet. And I took my husband, I took my friend who was a counselor and another friend who was at the church at the time. Um, I wanted her at this point. You told your husband at this point, I'm sorry. Yes, that's correct. I, it was probably three months after I told my friends, that I said to him I would like to meet him in his office and talked to him about something and. I was terrified. I don't know how else to say it. I just was so afraid. Not that I needed to be, but I was. And I probably sat there for almost, [00:45:00] I would say, 40 minutes and just cried. I was able to finally get out. I'm okay, the kids are okay, and then I started crying again. He couldn't have been any more supportive, more loving. I remember looking at his face and I said I was sexually abused by my youth pastor, and he didn't. His expression didn't change, and then I said. I was their babysitter and his face just dropped. And for the first time, I could see the pain I was feeling was reflected in his face. It was, I almost wanted to hug him to say, I'm sorry. 'cause I could see how much it hurt him to know that this had been done to me, especially as a baby. I mean, the picture became complete for him once I said that. And so he was very supportive. I think he was worried about me confronting this man, for a couple reasons. But one, I think he was worried that I would be disappointed in his reaction, and that I would be expecting too much of this [00:46:00] person to understand what he did to me and show any kind of remorse, and that I, it would hurt me even more. And one of my fears was that, I was afraid he wouldn't meet me. I was afraid that he was gonna say, no, I'm not gonna meet with you. And my husband said, oh, he's gonna meet with you all right? Because if he doesn't meet with you, you just tell him. Call the church secretary. We'll call every elder. We're gonna, he, somebody's gonna hear your story if he doesn't want to hear it. So he did agree to meet with me. I went down to Alabama and the meeting took place and I said the things that I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to get what he did to me. But he didn't, he never could understand the damage. It was almost as if, okay, I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry I did it. Okay, now what do you want? It was, get away. You bother me? Yes. And his greatest fear as most narcissist, and I believe he was, narcissistic, but his greatest fear was that I was going to demand that he be removed from the ministry. I mean, that's what he [00:47:00] was most concerned about, how this was going to impact him. And he should have been out of the ministry. So I went to his. Boss. I was told this, and something happened 27 years ago. He, we think he's safe. We're not worried, in spite of the fact that during the meeting he had admitted that there had been multiple occurrences of sexual misconduct throughout his ministry. Not all teenagers, some were most were probably women. And then he said he had gone to therapy because he had been identified as a sexual addict. And I kept thinking, who, what? What world, what world? Does this make sense that a man who has been identified by a psychologist as a sex addict belongs in the ministry? Nope. But here was this church. So I sent a letter to his 11 elders thinking, okay, somebody in this eldership is gonna see this. Is I something's wrong here. Not one responded totally [00:48:00] ignored me. 11 elders totally ignored me. Wow. No worries. So then, I decided to go to his denominational leaders, which were in Indianapolis. And there again, while they were sympathetic to my story and apologize that it happened, they said, we're an independent church. Our churches hire and fire their own ministers. We have no control and if they choose to keep this man, we can do nothing about it. And so what, I was shut down and basically I had no place else to go. I had pretty much. Done everything I could do. And it wasn't my place in the man that he be removed. I expected the church to be, the church was to do the right thing. Exactly. I assumed so naively that once they heard my story and once they understood the background of this man, surely someone would say, this isn't right. But again, keep in mind he's very charismatic. He brings in [00:49:00] people, he brings in money. And to be fair, and probably I'm being a little too gracious, these men are very good at manipulating not only the victim but the congregation as well. They're very good at getting control of the congregation so that they find themselves following this man no matter what he would do. Yeah. And that's basically what happened. There was going to be, I got a four page letter from his boss telling me that, know, I'm going to. Ruin this church if I continue on this path and that I'm going to feel all this guilt because I'm gonna be responsible for the damage that I will do to pe people's spiritual lives. I mean that, it was an incredible, I put the letter in the book, I, because it is so incredibly, hard to believe that someone write that to a victim of abuse. Just So that was What year did that happen? 2004. Okay. So we did have. We did have the internet. Oh, yes. And this was after the Catholic, [00:50:00] church had their, exposure of sexual abuse within their church. So yes, this was, it was out there for sure. This wasn't something that you would think, oh, I can't believe this happened. And again, he had admitted to these past instances. I mean, this wasn't someone who was saying, oh, I don't know what she's talking about. Or, oh, this is the only time it ever happened. He had been in therapy because he was a sexual addict, So he wasn't registered as a sex offender? I guess not. And in my case, at the time of the abuse, the age of consent was 16. So I had no legal recourse because of I was either legally age of consent. Now that has been changed in Ohio. It's now 18. It's now 18, but many states it's still 16. There are several states where the age of consent is 16. Now, the interesting about that is. His contact sexual contact with me was not considered a crime. However, if he had been my high school teacher, it would've been a crime. What, so pastors I know [00:51:00] does not make sense. It does not make a leg of sense. No, it does not. So it, they don't consider him a teacher. They don't cons, they don't, they considered an affair. A mutual. Relationship if he'd been my teacher, that's a different story. So yeah, I had no legal recourse. And that was frustrating. But I couldn't change that. So it was what it was. I just had to accept that he, yes, he belonged in jail. Yes, there's no doubt and should be registered as a sex offender, but I'm not so sure that even if he's registered as a sex offender, these people in Alabama and wherever he is now, would. Even take that as a concern. Well, you know, the millennials now, they'll just, they just post stuff on Facebook and Twitter and call the evening news and they have, yes. News people at their doorstep, right. Ready to mm-hmm. Track this guy's name through the mud. Mm-hmm. But you didn't choose to do that, I guess. No, you know, I'm very careful about naming him in the sense that, part of my story is that I [00:52:00] reconnected with his wife. She actually divorced him after they moved, because again, he committed sexual misconduct. She was 20, I think, at the time, so it wasn't a minor, but that's beside the point. This is a man in a position that, a professional who does not cross boundaries like that. So, to no one surprise, he committed sexual misconduct the third time, so she divorced him. And part of, I guess letting go of some of the guilt that I felt, I wanted to. Connect with her to at least tell her, not that I was responsible for what happened, but how very sorry I was for her pain and suffering as well because she was part of the youth group. I mean, she was there at the church all the time. We sang in the choir together. So it was like I had a relationship with her. Oh wow. To some extent. And of course when, we were found, when he was found out by the elders, she was upset and she of course, didn't wanna have anything to do with me, which is understandable. So I actually think I [00:53:00] also wanted to give her the opportunity to say whatever she felt she needed to say to me if she wanted to. I mean, I didn't know what she was gonna say or react. I thought maybe she'd hang up on me. I didn't know. So I called her one day. My investigator found her phone number and gave it to me, and she couldn't have been any more gracious. I, she never blamed me. She understood as she, as the years went on, what this really was just like I did. She's remarried. She's has a wonderful husband now. And so I visited her several times. We keep in contact. And so part of my not wanting to expose him too much is that it would be hurtful to her. And he does have children. Now. I know that, well, whatever consequences are as a result of this are all on him, but I don't feel the need to add to that. That's not my purpose in speaking out. And so, mm-hmm. I've gone to his church leaders, I've done everything I can to get him removed from the ministry. And nothing, it's just [00:54:00] he's still, I don't know that he's still a pastor, but he still remains in good standing within that denomination to this day. Yeah. I mean, sometimes we have to just let God. Right. Dish out the justice. It may not be in our timeline, it may not be the way that we think it should happen, but Right. He's not gonna get away with this. No. And again, I did my part. Yes. So my conscience is clear and I am able to say I did what I could do and whether or not they removed him, I certainly hope that I maybe put some doubt in some of their minds and maybe questioned their motives in keeping this man. I don't know. But, I feel I did what I could do and I feel good about that. I feel good about that. Absolutely, you should. And what I'm really interested in is, you're trying to keep this stuff from happening to other people, so, I mean, what can we do to prevent some of this stuff? Well, it's [00:55:00] difficult again, because these men are among us as wolves in sheep's clothing, and so they're difficult to spot. But a couple things. I think the first thing I would tell people is if something doesn't seem right. Keep your antenna up. Don't just ignore it or just don't think, oh, well that can't be true because he's the pastor. Mm-hmm. If it's behavior that you wouldn't accept in someone else, or it's something that you would question in someone else, then question it in the pastor or the choir director, whoever it is. Don't be blinded by the person. The persona that they're presenting to you. So that's the first thing I would say is keep your antenna up. The other thing is we, and we're churches, I think are doing better about this, but you've got to have policies in place that say, no, you're not taking a 16-year-old girl on your hospital visit with you. Yes. That's, that's not normal. That's not right. What is she doing going on a hospital visit with you in a car? And of course now we have the texting [00:56:00] and there should be absolutely no texting between a pastor, a youth minister, and anyone in the congregation. And that includes, no, don't forget the meeting for the church luncheon. No, there should be no texting because you, it's too hidden and it's too easily moved to the next step. And that's how it starts. You know, all of the abuse when it's someone you know, it always starts with small things and subtle things. It doesn't, innocent things. Innocent things that, yeah, that, that are innocent. But so that's why, so no texting. Yeah. So put in the policy, those places of, when you take a 10-year-old child to the bathroom, you make sure there's another adult with you. Absolutely. That's for your safety as well as for the child's safety. Mm-hmm. So I, I think we need to be aware. And then I would also say watch for the vulnerable in your, among your church or your group. Watch for the kid that's got issues at home and is looking for a father figure. Be aware that they're going to be more susceptible to someone who's a predator and pay [00:57:00] attention to their cues and kind of keep in touch with them as well in a sense of asking questions and how they're doing and be the kind of a person that they might feel comfortable coming to if something were to happen to them because they're the ones that are gonna be most vulnerable, to a predator. So that's kind of, an overview of what. Maybe a help to try and stop and prevent some of this. Yes, I like lots of video cameras. They're cheap now. You can put a camera, you can hide cameras all over the church facility and Yes. And I think too, talking to this about this issue to the congregation before anything happens, maybe having a person in your congregation who is the go-to person on this topic, who, who's researched what all these grooming and manipulation is so that they are even more equipped to, to notice the signs. So you have a person who's kind of in charge of that topic and then address it to the congregation once a year and say, here's our policy and here's what we expect of our pastors and here's what we would hope you would [00:58:00] do if you notice something. So it just brings it out so that people feel like if there is something that they know is going on or something's wrong, they feel comfortable going to someone about it. Those are all really great tips for leaders and, church members. So what, what if I am listening and I am being subjected to some of this stuff, what should I do? Well, what you need to do and what is the hardest thing to do is to tell someone. Yeah. And it's hard to do because when you're in an abusive relationship, you are being controlled by your abuser. And the narrative is what he is directing. And so he's going to tell you, look, you can tell anybody you want. They're not gonna believe you. And he tells you that over and over again. He's also going to tell you that you are going to be in trouble if you tell anyone. And then there's that problem of you sort [00:59:00] of care about this person. Here's someone that has been helping you, who's been your mentor, and you don't wanna get him in trouble. So with all those dynamics involved, it's very difficult for victims to come forward. But I am telling you, you don't wanna wait the 27 years that I did no. And live with this guilt and the shame and the angst and the anxiety. First of all, it's not worth it. You're not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, because there is help out there. But they can only help you if you're able to be able to tell someone. And believe me, I understand how difficult that is. It's not easy. Mm-hmm. But I would hope that I hearing my story and others that you will understand that there is help out there and you need to tell someone. 'cause it won't end until you tell someone. And if you need to, you go to someone that you trust. And if you need to, you go outside the church. Yes. You tell someone you know is going to listen to you. [01:00:00] Hey, I tell my listeners, you can call me anytime mm-hmm. And email me and I'm sure you'd say the same thing. Exactly. Reach out to Sandy if mm-hmm. You need somebody to talk to. Mm-hmm. Or you don't know what is the next step I need to take here? Right. It is scary to make First step. It's very scary. Very scary. Absolutely. So then there's the rest of us, those that have not experienced clergy abuse, maybe we're members in the church, maybe we're friends or family. What are some helpful things for us to do to support a victim? Helpful things to say, maybe there's things we shouldn't say, well, that's a yes. First, I would say anytime you're aware of a victim of clergy abuse or anybody who's been abused, whether it's clergy or not, reiterate to that victim that it was not their fault and that there was nothing they could have done, should have done that would've prevented this. And by doing that, you are [01:01:00] telling that person they're free to speak to you. And victims need to hear it over and over again because we do blame ourselves. Children as young as five will blame themselves because they allowed someone to touch them 'cause mommy said not to. And the that guilt in that shame that victims carry, it's difficult to let go of it. So to hear someone say to us, it's not your fault is so freeing. So that's the first thing. The second thing I would say is. Let them know that you will listen to them without judging them, and you will hear their story without being shocked that you are able to say, tell me everything you need to tell me, or Tell me as little as you wanna tell me. Give them a comfort place to go to talk. And then I would say, and this is difficult for people who have spiritual lives or who are part of the church, be very much aware that things such as prayer and Bible reading and [01:02:00] scripture can be very triggering for those who've been abused in the church. Mm-hmm. So things that you would find comforting like prayer. Can be a very major trigger factor for victims. And so instead of saying to a victim, I'll pray for you, or Can I pray with you? The best thing you could say would be to phrase it in such a way as to say, I understand because of what you've been through, prayer can be difficult. And so I would like to pray for you, but I would completely understand if you don't want to pray or you won't, don't even want me to pray for you. And so you've opened up the door to say to this person, wow, I don't have to feel guilty because I can't pray. You know, when we've grown up in the church and we've been told how wonderful church and prayer and all those things are, we still carry that guilt too because we're no longer connected to God. So to have a person on the outside. Recognize that these can be trigger factors is again, a gift. It's a [01:03:00] gift. So those things I think would be the most helpful when dealing with a person of clergy abuse. And give them time. Don't push forgiveness. Don't push trying to get them back into church. 'cause some victims will never be able to go back to church if you let them find their own pace of time and you do it without judging them. And I know that's kind of hard sometimes for Christians and people in the church because we love the church and we find it to be such a wonderful place and we want this person back in the church. Yes. But it, it may not be the best place at that point for that victim. Such valuable advice. I That is awesome. And again, back to like, when you're talking about the sex education, open up the dialogue, you know? Yeah. Bring it up. Bring it up before they bring it up. Again, I read in the newspaper that this girl was molested by, a gym teacher. You know that, that ha I know that happens. And then let 'em know that if. It is, like you said, allowing that comfort to be able to [01:04:00] talk to someone. I think for me it was important to give my side of the story. No one had a clue that he was emotionally and verbally and physically abusive to me. They saw this as a little love affair and that we had this, magic little love affair. Evil temptress. Yes, exactly. And so I wanted them to know the full story. That was important for my healing too. And they did that. And, they welcomed me back to the church. I went back, I've been back a couple times for, a youth group reunion that we had. So, and that was difficult. But again, I thought that was necessary for me to move forward. I had to let go of my past. I had to figure out, not to forget it, but how was I going to incorpo

Send us your feedback — we're listeningColossians 3:13 — God Heals Wounds and Restores Peace in My Relationships Scripture (NIV) Colossians 3:13 — “Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Romans 12:18 — “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Welcome to Daily Prayer with Reverend Ben Cooper, recorded live in London, England, where the world gathers for five minutes of faith, hope, and strength. As the year closes, many hearts long for restoration, forgiveness, and new beginnings within family and relationships. Prayer  Father, I bring every strained relationship before You. Heal the hurt, soften hearts, and remove bitterness that has built up over the year. Where words have wounded, bring compassion. Where distance has formed, create connection. Lord, mend what is fractured and restore peace where tension has grown. Teach me to forgive freely, to release offence, and to walk in Your grace. Replace heaviness with understanding, frustration with patience, and conflict with unity. Holy Spirit, breathe peace into my home. Restore communication, renew love, and rebuild trust. Let this new year begin with healed relationships, restored harmony, and a spirit of peace resting over every family. Prayer Points  prayer for family peace, prayer for forgiveness, prayer for restored relationships, prayer for emotional healing, prayer for unity, prayer for softened hearts, prayer for renewed love Life Application (20–25 words) Ask God to show you one practical act of peace you can offer someone today—an apology, a message, or a gentle step toward reconciliation. Declaration I declare God is healing my relationships and restoring peace in my home as the new year begins. Call to Action Share this prayer with someone needing relational healing. Visit DailyPrayer.uk for the full New Year's Eve prayer journey.Colossians 3:13 prayer, family healing prayer, prayer for restored relationships, christian forgiveness prayer, reverend ben cooper, dailyprayer.uk, global prayer podcast, peace in families prayerOutro Thank you for praying with us. Join us for Prayer 8—the final New Year's Eve prayer—as we pray over rest, calm, and God's presence through the night.Support the showFor more inspiring content, visit RBChristianRadio.net — your home for daily devotionals, global prayer, and biblical encouragement for every season of life. We invite you to connect with our dedicated prayer hub at DailyPrayer.uk — a place where believers from every nation unite in prayer around the clock. If you need prayer, or would like to leave a request, this is the place to come. Our mission is simple: to pray with you, to stand with you, and to keep the power of prayer at the centre of everyday life. Your support through DailyPrayer.uk helps us continue sharing the gospel and covering the nations in prayer. You can also discover our ministry services and life celebrations at LifeCelebrant.net — serving families with faith, dignity, and hope. If this devotional blesses you, please consider supporting our listener-funded mission by buying us a coffee through RBChristianRadio.net. Every prayer, every gift, and every share helps us keep broadcasting God's Word to the world.

Betrayal doesn't just hurt—it changes how you attach, trust, and feel safe.Dr. Laney Knowlton (LMFT-S, CSAT-S, CPTT-S, CCPS, CST, CCRDS-S, RAE) joins Amie and Alana and explains how betrayal trauma impacts attachment styles, why disorganized attachment is so common after infidelity, and how healing can happen even if your relationship doesn't survive.If you've ever wondered “Am I broken forever?”—this episode is for you.Together, we unpack:Why betrayal often creates disorganized attachmentHow attachment styles shift after traumaThe difference between innocent trust and earned trustWhy healing is possible—even if your partner never changesHow recovery can lead to deeper connection, confidence, and joyConnect with Dr. Knowlton by visiting her website, checking out her worksheets, or reading her book, Healing From Betrayal, Infidelity, and Problematic Sexual Behaviors Chapters00:54 Introducing Dr. Laney Knowlton04:07 Understanding Attachment Styles09:59 Impact of Betrayal on Attachment14:06 Navigating Betrayal and Recovery17:06 Challenges in Seeking Support22:15 Understanding Normal Responses to Trauma24:46 Stages of Recovery25:08 The Role of Healthy Sexuality37:58 The Path to Self-Connection and JoyRegister Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men's Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You'll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Trauma Trigger Kit - Triggers can come out of nowhere. Keep a Trauma Trigger Kit on hand to help you use your five senses to stay grounded and connected to yourself.Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, and finding joy once again.Intimacy Within ⁠- Creating healthy intimacy with your partner begins with creating healthy intimacy within. Amie's self-paced course and guidebook will walk you through the seven levels of intimacy. Learn how to embrace authenticity and vulnerability even in the face of potential rejection.

A mother in New York now faces murder charges after a 15-month-old boy was found dead inside a Queens home as investigators try to determine how he died. A Texas child sex investigation centers on a substitute teacher and her boyfriend after police say a report from a friend led to arrests and multiple felony charges. Drew Nelson reports.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this special end-of-year episode of Married and Connected, Kameran guides you through a "Holiday Reset Ritual."In This Episode, We Cover:The 2025 State of Marriage: A look at the top Google searches for couples this year (hint: it wasn't about money, it was about emotional safety).The "Three-Layer Gratitude" Practice: Why saying "thanks for doing the dishes" isn't enough, and how to use gratitude to reset your nervous system.Lessons from the Experts: The top relationship insights from 2025 featuring wisdom from The Gottman Institute, Esther Perel, Matthew Hussey, Marriage 365 and more.Wounds vs. Patterns: How to recognize if you are acting out of an anxious or avoidant attachment style, and how to heal it next year.The "Name It to Tame It" Ritual: A step-by-step guided conversation to have with your partner tonight to close the chapter on the hard stuff and seal your intentions for 2026.Key Quotes:"Every couple wants to feel like they are on the same team. Not roommates. Not co-parents. But a safe place to land.""Gratitude isn't just manners; it is a biological reset button for your relationship.""You don't drift into a great marriage. You decide your way there."Resources Mentioned:The Gottman Institute (Micro-moments of connection)Esther Perel (Erotic Intelligence and Attention)Topics: Attachment Styles, The Mother/Father Wound, Mental LoadWork With KameranOption 1: For Couples (1:1 Coaching) Are you tired of having the same fight over and over again? Do you want 2026 to be the year you finally break the generational patterns holding your marriage back? Listening to a podcast gives you the what, but coaching gives you the how.I currently have 2 spots open for couples to work with me 1:1 starting in January. This is intimate, deep-dive work where we look at your specific attachment styles, your communication loops, and build a custom roadmap for your connection.Link: Book your Consultation for 1:1 Couples Coaching HereOption 2: For Wives (Edifying Eden Group) Starts January 5th | Limited to 10 WomenIf you are walking into the new year feeling the heavy weight of resentment, or if you are tired of the cycle of yelling to be heard only to feel guilty five minutes later—this is your invitation.Edifying Eden is my exclusive small group for the wife who is ready to turn her home back into a sanctuary. Together, we will:Ditch the Resentment: Clear out the bitterness that keeps you disconnected.Stop the Yelling: Learn to regulate your emotions so you can respond, not react.Be Heard: Learn to speak so your family listens the first time.Biblical Womanhood: Step fully into the grace and wisdom of the Proverbs 31 wife.We begin January 5th. Because this is a high-touch sisterhood, I am only accepting 10 women. Email Kameran at coaching@recognizingpotential.com for more info.Connect with Kameran:Instagram: @married.and.connectedWebsite: www.recognizingpotential.comSubscribe & Review: If this episode helped you reset, please leave a review! It helps other couples find the tools they need to stay married and connected. Happy New Year, friends!Support the show

A knee shattered in World War I. The same knee hit again in World War II. Archibald Roosevelt's story isn't about chasing glory; it's about answering the call when every excuse would be understandable. We trace that rare resolve to a deeper root—faith, duty, and a willingness to serve when comfort urges retreat.We walk through the Roosevelt brothers' grit, then pivot to a different kind of strength found in scripture. Paul's teaching on marriage reframes love as mutual devotion, not contract math. Jesus' words in Matthew 6–7 tackle worry, judgment, and the daily practice of the Golden Rule: seek the kingdom first, trust God for needs, clear your own vision before you try to clear anyone else's. Paired with Psalm 8's awe and Proverbs 2's promise of wisdom and integrity, the path becomes clear even if it stays narrow.History widens the lens again with FDR's 1941 Day of Prayer—a national moment of confession, consecration, and courage in the face of war. We connect that call to today's cultural pressures and the ideologies that erode freedom by promising shortcuts. Along the way, we spotlight Corporal Samuel Bowden's Medal of Honor citation, a reminder that countless acts of bravery shaped the ground we stand on.If you're hungry for a conversation that blends hard history with lived faith and practical takeaways for marriage, worry, and daily character, you're in the right place. Listen, reflect, and join us in choosing service over ease and wisdom over noise. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.Support the showThe American Soul Podcasthttps://www.buzzsprout.com/1791934/subscribe Countryside Book Series https://www.amazon.com/Countryside-Book-J-T-Cope-IV-ebook/dp/B00MPIXOB2

Silent wounds live deeply. You may have survived a year but the survival taught you to cope. Silent wounds require deep healing. In this podcast you will learn how silent wounds take time to heal.

Jarrod Noll, 18, allegedly shoots his mom and dad outside the family home in southwest Pennsylvania and walks into the woods. Two younger siblings inside the house call 911. Noll captured after 24 Hours on the loose!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of the PFC podcast, Dr. Jim Ducanto, an experienced anesthesiologist, discusses the critical aspects of airway management in emergency situations. He emphasizes the importance of decision-making, assessing neurological status, and effective communication with patients. The conversation also covers the necessity of planning and preparation for airway interventions, as well as the significance of thorough physical examinations. Dr. Ducanto shares valuable insights and advice for new practitioners in the field, highlighting the challenges and responsibilities they face in high-pressure environments.TakeawaysAirway management is a critical skill for anesthesiologists.Effective decision-making is essential in emergency situations.Assessing neurological status is the first step in airway management.Planning and preparation can prevent complications during procedures.Communication with patients is vital, even when they are unconscious.Physical examination is key to understanding a patient's condition.Practitioners must be ready to act when necessary, as no one else may be available.Wounds in the neck generally heal well and are not usually disfiguring.Understanding the tools and techniques available is crucial for success.New practitioners should focus on thorough assessments and clear communication. Chapters00:00 Introduction to Airway Management03:32 Decision-Making in Emergency Situations10:26 Assessing Neurological Status17:12 Planning for Airway Management23:33 Communicating with Patients During Emergencies32:04 The Importance of Physical Examination38:42 Advice for New PractitionersFor more content, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.prolongedfieldcare.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Consider supporting us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/ProlongedFieldCareCollective⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lobocoffeeco.com/product-page/prolonged-field-care⁠⁠

Send us a textIn this deeply illuminating episode of Spiritual Spotlight, Rachel sits down with Jill Brown, certified evolutionary astrologer, to explore how our souls carry memory across lifetimes—and how astrology helps us heal it.Jill shares her extraordinary journey from working with NASA and Disney to fully embracing evolutionary astrology after a mystical moment sparked by her daughter's haunting song. Together, they unpack how karmic carryovers, past-life imprints, and subconscious wounds shape our present-day experiences—often showing up as childhood patterns, emotional triggers, or a deep sense of “I've been here before.”You'll learn why Chiron, the wounded healer, holds the key to transforming pain into purpose, how shame can be transmuted into strength, and why healing doesn't have to be heavy to be effective. Jill introduces the idea of cosmic accountability—radical responsibility without self-punishment—and explains how astrology can be a powerful tool for empathy, joy, and self-trust.This conversation is for anyone who feels called to understand their soul's story, reclaim their power, and bring more lightness into their healing journey.✨ Topics include:Evolutionary astrology & karmic memoryChiron and the wounded healer archetypePast-life patterns showing up in childhoodTurning pain into purposeWhy joy accelerates healingUsing astrology for empowerment, not prediction Support the show

This week, Jake and Bob discuss the relationship between healing, deliverance, and spiritual warfare. They explore the nature of spiritual strongholds (patterns of thoughts or beliefs that oppose the reality of who God is) and why these strongholds often obstruct emotional and spiritual healing. Jake and Bob also nuance the distinction between ordinary and extraordinary experiences of grace and how the supernatural is hidden within the quiet or ordinary moments. Finally, they address the role of spiritual authority within the Church, the importance of recognizing your own authority, and why authentic healing flows from relationship with Christ rather than technique.   Key Points: The healing and deliverance processes are deeply connected  Spiritual warfare is part of everyday life Strongholds are built from repeated thoughts, beliefs, and lies that oppose the reality of who God is The ordinary is often where the supernatural is most active. Extraordinary experiences are not a measure of God's presence in our lives Wounds can become entry points for spiritual influence if left unaddressed Deliverance often involves dismantling lies and beliefs (strongholds) rather than confronting extraordinary manifestations Prayer, the Sacraments, and virtues are our weapons in spiritual warfare Healing comes from relationship with Christ, not because of a specific prayer formula or technique There are different levels of spiritual authority within the Church   Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 03:02 Engaging in a Spiritual Battle as a Catholic 12:21 How Do We Pull Down Strongholds in Our Life? 18:21 The Supernatural isn't Exclusive to Extraordinary Moments 25:11 Ordinary and Extraordinary Dynamics in Healing and Deliverance 34:56 The Difference Between Human and Angelic Intelligence 43:55 What are the Different Levels of Authority in the Church? 57:43 How Can We Exercise Our Authority?  Connect with Restore the Glory:  Instagram: @restoretheglorypodcast  Twitter: @RestoreGloryPod Facebook: Restore the Glory Podcast   Never miss out on an episode by hitting the subscribe button right now! Help other people find the show and grow in holiness by sharing this podcast with them individually or on your social media. Thanks!

In this unforgettable episode of I Am Redemption, Lydia Richards opens up like never before.Lydia shares the truth behind her journey through childhood trauma, substance use, mental health struggles, and her experiences working in the sex industry, realities that are far more common than most people realize, yet rarely talked about openly.This conversation is raw, emotional, and unfiltered. At moments, you can literally see Lydia shivering as she recounts the memories that shaped her life. Nothing is sugar-coated. Nothing is held back.This episode isn't meant to be comfortable, it's meant to be honest. If you've ever lived through trauma, survived addiction, struggled with your mental health, or felt trapped in survival mode, this episode will hit home. Lydia's story is painful, powerful, and deeply eye-opening, a reminder of what happens when someone finally speaks the truth out loud.New to I Am Redemption?I Am Redemption is a podcast and community hosted by Shawn Livingston, built around real stories of transformation through pain, purpose, fitness, and truth. We don't tell polished success stories, we tell what comes before the breakthrough.

It all started to fall apart once again as the Baltimore Ravens had another doubit-digit lead evaporate at home for the holidays against the New England Patriots. Leonard Raskin and Nestor lick the purple wounds of a mostly sickening Ravens season and pick up the pieces of parking Derrick Henry while John Harbaugh squirms in the aftermath of another embarrassing loss. The post Leonard Raskin and Nestor lick the purple wounds of a sickening Ravens season and home collapses first appeared on Baltimore Positive WNST.

Show SummaryOn today's episode, we're featuring a conversation with Marine Corps Veteran Andy Gasper, CEO and President of Warrior Foundation Freedom Station, a nonprofit organization that has created Freedom Stations, recovery transition centers and housing facilities that provide injured Warriors with the acclimation time, guidance and resources to successfully make the transition from military service to civilian lifeProvide FeedbackAs a dedicated member of the audience, we would like to hear from you about the show. Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts about the show in this short feedback survey. By doing so, you will be entered to receive a signed copy of one of our host's three books on military and veteran mental health. About Today's GuestAndy Gasper is the President and CEO of Warrior Foundation Freedom Station, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting wounded, ill, and injured service members as they transition from military service to civilian life. Warrior Foundation Freedom Station provides transitional housing, peer support, mentorship, financial and career guidance, wellness services, and community connection through its Freedom Station residences in San Diego, helping medically retiring warriors prepare for long-term success.Under Andy's leadership, the foundation has expanded its mission to include a structured 18-month transitional housing program that offers wraparound support services designed to empower residents to pursue education, careers, and independent living. The program integrates peer-to-peer support, counseling, mentorship, and practical life guidance to foster meaningful community and improved quality of life for veterans navigating the challenges of recovery and civilian transition.A Marine Corps veteran himself, Andy brings both lived experience and professional commitment to his work, emphasizing the importance of community, dignity, and holistic support for America's warriors. Under his stewardship, Warrior Foundation Freedom Station has opened multiple transitional housing facilities and continues to scale its impact to serve more medically retiring service members and their families.Warrior Foundation Freedom Station supports service members and veterans who are seriously ill or injured, affected by post-traumatic stress or traumatic brain injury, undergoing therapy, or navigating medical retirement and reintegration into civilian life.Links Mentioned During the EpisodeWarrior Foundation WebsiteWarrior Foundation VideoPsychArmor Resource of the WeekThis week's PsychArmor Resource of the Week is The PsychArmor course How to Build a Successful Transition Plan. Join General Peter Chiarelli, United States Army (Ret.), in PsychArmor's course “How to Build a Successful Transition Plan” as he discusses the importance of setting realistic expectations, goal-setting, and flexibility during your transition. You can find the resource here:  https://learn.psycharmor.org/courses/How-to-Build-a-Successful-Transition-Plan Episode Partner: Are you an organization that engages with or supports the military affiliated community? Would you like to partner with an engaged and dynamic audience of like-minded professionals? Reach out to Inquire about Partnership Opportunities Contact Us and Join Us on Social Media Email PsychArmorPsychArmor on XPsychArmor on FacebookPsychArmor on YouTubePsychArmor on LinkedInPsychArmor on InstagramTheme MusicOur theme music Don't Kill the Messenger was written and performed by Navy Veteran Jerry Maniscalco, in cooperation with Operation Encore, a non profit committed to supporting singer/songwriter and musicians across the military and Veteran communities.Producer and Host Duane France is a retired Army Noncommissioned Officer, combat veteran, and clinical mental health counselor for service members, veterans, and their families.  You can find more about the work that he is doing at www.veteranmentalhealth.com  

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Happy Holidays! For our final episode of 2025, we are finally diving into A Christmas Carol, Muppet-style! We discuss the character of Ebenezor Scrooge and why he is so attached to money instead of relationships. We examine how his childhood created attachment wounds that impact the rest of his life until he is supernaturally intervened with on Christmas Eve. From all three of us at Popcorn Psychology, we wish you a peaceful end to this year and tons of love in return for the love we feel from you :)Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/popcorn-psychology--3252280/support.

The leader of Shelby County's Community Services Division talks about the safety net of programs and the balancing act that comes with uncertain money.

131 | Your Shadow Isn't Just Wounds: It's the Source of Your Power and Potential | Salarah Kacey Starre Most people think the shadow is only where the pain lives. The wounds, the triggers, the patterns that sabotage your relationships, confidence, and manifestation journey. But here's the truth, your shadow is also where your gifts have been hiding. Your intuition, voice, boundaries, creativity, fire, and inner power often get tucked away right alongside the unhealed parts.In this episode, I take you deeper into what shadow work actually is and why it matters for the law of attraction. We explore how avoiding the shadow can keep your energy dense and your magnetism muted, and how alchemising the pain unlocks the power beneath it. You'll learn three pathways to go deeper: working with the pattern not the story, meeting the part of you that is making the decision, and bringing the body into the conversation so your nervous system can finally feel safe to receive what you desire.If you're ready to stop creating from old survival programming and start creating from truth, this one will land.Links and resourcesDownload Your Energetic Reset (free guide) hereListen to my guided meditations on Insight Timer hereExplore one-to-one coaching at salarahstarre.com: hereSupport the podcast hereThank you as always for tuning in. Look forward tipping back with you soon.Love Salarah x Copyright 2025 Salarah Kacey Starre The Salarah Kacey Starre Podcast website

Isaiah 52:13-53:12

Send us a textDoes it feel like you're waiting… and waiting… for your spouse to make a change?Maybe it's a job decision, a health issue, an addiction, or something you've talked about a hundred times. This month's episode is all about your side of that frustration—what to do, how to stay grounded, and how to walk through this season with faith, patience, and strength.In Part 1, we speak directly to the spouse who is watching, waiting, and hurting… but still wants to honor God, love their spouse well, and approach this season with wisdom.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeHow to recommit your heart and remember your marriage vowsWhy praying until your heart softens is essentialHow to reassure your spouse without enabling unhealthy patternsHow to have the hard conversation the right way (not the angry way)Why you should champion your spouse, not control themThe role boundaries and consequences must play in real changeHow spiritual growth can create a gap—and how God bridges itKey Scriptures MentionedEphesians 4:2 – Be humble, gentle, patient, bearing with one another in loveEcclesiastes 5:4–5 – Fulfill the vows you've made before GodMatthew 19:6 – What God has joined together, let no one separate1 John 4:18 – Perfect love drives out fearSong of Solomon 8:6 – Love is as strong as deathPhilippians 4:6–7 – Present your requests to God with thanksgivingEphesians 4:15 – Speak the truth in loveProverbs 27:6 – Wounds from a friend can be trustedJames 1:19 – Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to angerGalatians 6:1 – Restore gentlyPhilippians 2:3–4 – Value others above yourselvesProverbs 4:23 – Guard your heartDiscussion Question for YouWhat's one step you can take this week to champion—not control—your spouse as they work through something difficult?Share your thoughts in the comments below—we'd love to hear from you!Call to Action

Heather Ann Ferri – Author, Speaker, Healer, and Educator. Heather Ann Ferri wrote her first book, Victim to Victory (2018), in a time when she lost the ability to walk. Pen to paper, she activated her next decade of work. Hired by professionals in medicine, law, construction, and alternative healing, she found patterns. A disconnect from where the root of pain or problems was manifesting within. She had to set her World Record tap shoes aside and activate her voice and healer psychology. Heather Ann Ferri's new classroom involved her mastering eight sciences. How do you reprogram CPTSD while training your breath, voice, and mind? How can healing programs access ancestral memories for empowerment? Is resilience defined by how fast you recover or by the time spent healing the roots of the wounds? A pioneer who found herself lost in the matrix of how women had to be and work in society. Her tap shoes led her to writing off Broadway shows to empower the next generation of leaders. Her private trauma practice led her to be able to speak from authentic experience. Transcending Victim to Goddess series addresses my roots and how she healed from the shadow masculine programs. How she balanced and healed both the divine masculine and feminine within her. This series is a soul purpose to share her love for self and Mother Earth. Heather Ann Ferri's Website

Send us a textAn unprocessed wound shows up as control, people-pleasing, blaming or shut-down in relationship situations. It's the spiralling in hurt when you think you don't matter to them. The doubting yourself and your worth. Or what keeps you from letting someone in.The key to healing relationship wounds at the root is to feel what you're most afraid of feeling. But the how is important. Most of us drown in the stories (feeling through our head) or have protection layers that stop us from getting to the bottom layer.In this episode, we look at: How you know you have an unprocessed woundHow to tell if it's your wound or their behaviour that is painfulWhy feeling hasn't changed anything beforeHow to feel in a way that heals Ready to revolutionize your relationship experience?

In this week's episode, Jennings sits down with financial advisor and author Shannon Ryan to explore the psychology of money. Shannon reveals how our emotional "money wounds" shape financial decisions and why confidence with money isn't about your net worth; it's about aligning finances with your values. Discover why we keep "moving the goalposts" of financial security, how to have honest money conversations with your partner, and practical strategies for breaking free from limiting money beliefs. Shannon shares wisdom on building cash reserves, especially with irregular income, and finding emotional freedom through thoughtful financial planning. Thanks for listening!

There's no hurt like church hurt.As we move through this Christmas season, Angie pauses to address a reality many of us know too well: spiritual wounds that leave us questioning whether community, worship, and trust in spiritual leaders are worth the risk again.With compassion and honesty, Angie shares part of her own story, reflects on John 10:14, and walks through five common struggles believers face after church hurt. Through Scripture, she reminds us that while human shepherds may fail, the Good Shepherd never does.Whether you're actively engaged in a church community or still finding your way back, this episode will meet you with gentleness and invite you to take a small, Spirit-led step toward healing. What You'll Hear in This EpisodeAngie's personal story of disappointment with a spiritual leader and what the Holy Spirit taught her about truth and discernmentThe comfort of John 10:14 and how Jesus, the Good Shepherd, contrasts with failed earthly shepherdsFive common struggles that follow church hurt and the Scriptures that speak healing into each oneEncouragement for those who feel spiritually weary, disconnected from worship, or hesitant to re-enter communityA gentle invitation to take a small step toward re-engagement this ChristmasResourcesDownload When Church Hurts: 5 Common Struggles and How Scripture Helps Us Heal It's a free companion resource that offers verses and reflection questions to help you process your own journey.Download When Church Hurts here:https://steadyon.myflodesk.com/churchhurtIf you're ready to take another step toward community, consider joining us for Gather, our upcoming study inside Steady On University. Together we'll explore worship, community, and the sacred rhythms God gave His people. Classes begin January 8, 2026.Learn more about SOU here:https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/cu/nNuXFKn/souThe Step By Step Starter Kit is a free bundle of tools designed to help you study Scripture with confidence, one verse at a time.Get your free Starter Kit here:https://steadyon.myflodesk.com/starter-kit-fall-25Verse of the WeekI am the good shepherd; I know My sheep, and My sheep know Me.John 10:14 (VOICE) Connect with Angie and Steady On: http://www.livesteadyon.comTheme Music: Glimmer by Andy Ellison

Struggles with Self-Worth: Rosalie's Journey from Abuse to Healing Through Faith In this episode host Diana welcomes Rosalie Janelle, host of 'The Good News' podcast, to share her powerful survivor story. Rosalie opens up about her journey from an abusive relationship to finding faith and beginning her healing process through therapy and a closer relationship with God. The discussion covers Rosalie's background, the signs of abuse, the harrowing experiences she endured, and how she was ultimately saved, both physically and spiritually. This episode aims to provide hope and encouragement to those in abusive situations, emphasizing the importance of faith, support systems, and professional help. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:26 Introducing Today's Guest: Rosalie Janelle 02:31 Rosalie's Background and Upbringing 04:42 College Years and Faith Struggles 07:21 Entering an Abusive Relationship 09:40 Escalation of Abuse 18:16 Struggles with Self-Worth and Infidelity 19:40 A Violent Turning Point 23:39 Realization and Rock Bottom 24:27 The Violent Incident 26:10 Aftermath and Legal Proceedings 26:56 Spiritual Awakening 30:39 Healing Journey 35:19 Therapy and EMDR 40:30 Advice for Those in Abusive Situations 43:31 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Website: www.thegoodnewspodcast.org Email: genaor@gmail.com Social media links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Rosellygenao Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zealouzlysweet/ My podcast: The Good News Podcast www.thegoodnewspodcast.org Available on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Breaker, Google Podcasts, Pocket Cast, Radio Public Bio: Roselly Genao is a podcast host, spiritual coach and an operations supervisor in the emergency services industry. Roselly has been serving God faithfully since November 2019, shortly after she survived a traumatic attack on her life. Roselly's affinity is drawing people nearer to Christ through encouragement and inspiration. She currently is the host of The Good News Podcast and is a certified emotional first aide provider. With these means she helps bring people closer to God daily in conjunction with serving God.   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana . She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello everyone. How are you doing ? I'm glad you joined me today on my podcast. We have a survivor story today. I think you'll be really blessed by her story. Rosalie. Janelle is on the show today. And I hope that you'll listen closely to what she has to share with you. She's the host of the Good News podcast. She's going to bring a raw and honest story of how she got into an abusive relationship and how she got out, how she found the Lord, and how she has started her healing journey. So without [00:02:00] further ado, here's Rosalie. Welcome, Rosalie Janelle to the show. Thank you so much for coming on. No problem. I'm happy to be here. Diana, thank you for inviting me on. Now the tables are turned , you're in the guest chair today? Yes. My first time too, so I'm not used to it. I was just on her podcast, the Good News podcast. Mm-hmm. And uh, that's what podcasters do. We go on each other's shows. Yes. Amen. Absolutely. I'm happy to be here. So tell the audience a little bit about your fine self. Yes, absolutely. So as Diana mentioned, my name is Rosalie Genow. I go by Rose, by trade. I'm a manager of an operation center. And, by night I'm a podcast host of the Good News podcast and, full-time. I'm a believer for Jesus. I love, spreading the gospel, talking to others about the gospel, and what he has done in my life. So that's why I'm here. Awesome. So let's start from the [00:03:00] beginning. What was your family upbringing like? Were you raised in a Christian home? Oh, this question from the beginning. I wasn't, I was raised in a Catholic home. And I say that very loosely because my parents weren't practicing when I was growing up. They mostly like practice, up until the point I was born. And then I got baptized as a baby into the Catholic. Church. But I still went to Catholic school, so we weren't practicing at home, but I went to Catholic school, so that kind of shaped, you know, gave me a little bit of foundation as I was growing up. But weirdly enough, I still, I didn't know God and not when I was younger. So what was, your home like growing up? I mean, it was typical. I don't think that it was, abnormal. I had both my parents, I have, I'm one of three, I have two siblings and I. I don't know. I don't, I wouldn't say it was atypical. It was a loving home. I was involved in a lot of extracurricular activities growing up in [00:04:00] school. I was, involved in, pretty much every group that you could think of. I was a good academic kid. My siblings, they did, have their children, a little on the younger side, so. Towards like my teenage years, I was growing up in the home alone. 'Cause my siblings moved out and started their families. And at that point in time when I was a teenager, I was a little bit of a, I was trouble, I was definitely trouble. I was not making great decisions. I started dating really young. Oh gosh. Probably younger than I should have. And, I think that really started, in my early college years, I really started to make some pretty bad decisions. So it started in my teenage years. So when you went off to college, you said that you had a collapse of your faith. What was your relationship with God like then in your life? Yeah, when I got to college, I wasn't really practicing any kind of religion or [00:05:00] even praying to God. My life was, like I said, I started a tr a path on my life where I was making da bad decisions almost daily. Now looking back, I think it was, the lack of having a relationship with God. But I would say that in the beginning of my college career, I had no relationship with God. I actually was very confused, because I had graduated from a Catholic, high school, and then I went to a Catholic university and I was seeking answers. So I was going to the Catholic mass, almost weekly, but it was kind of like just going through the motions of my, that was in the first year of my, of. The first semester of college and then I went to a girlfriend's church. And it was a non-denominational Christian Church, probably second semester of freshman year. And, that kind of started to change my perspective. On, God and who he was and who Jesus is because, it was so different than the Catholic church. So, mm-hmm. It sparked us an interest, but I would [00:06:00] say not enough for me to do anything about it. Not at the time. Yeah. I can relate. I was raised Catholic. I know it means to go through the motions on the outside and nothing happening on the inside really. So you mentioned you made some bad choices in life. Why do you think that happened? I mean, for me at the time there was definitely, I was definitely going through a lot of stuff, just on the inside because I didn't have any kind of foundation. I didn't have any, belief and a higher power at that point in time. So I kind of saw life for what it was. It felt worthless, it felt like, so I made some pretty bad choices based off that root feeling of just feeling like, you know, there was no purpose for life. And I actually fell into depression. And during college, I was mixed up in bad relationships, through college. And then ultimately I ended up dropping out of college because. I was just making horrible decisions. I was partying all night and all of those things stemmed from the fact that I [00:07:00] viewed life as purposeless and therefore I didn't give myself enough self-worth. Mm-hmm. So, mm-hmm. So it sounds like you were prime target for an abusive relationship that you got into. Would you be able to talk about that? Were there any red flags beforehand? Yeah. So, let's backtrack a little bit. Mm-hmm. So, after college, I actually, was with, a man who was semi abusive. Like we, we had really toxic, arguments. There was a once or twice where there was, physical fights between him and I. And ultimately when I left college, I walked away from that, you know? Mm-hmm. And I left college and I had to move back to Massachusetts. So I went to Seton Hall in New Jersey. And obviously after dropping out and not being able to afford living in New Jersey by myself, I was 20. I had to come back home to Massachusetts. And so when I did come back home to Massachusetts, I kinda just walked away from that relationship in college and I thought that, I didn't [00:08:00] think anything of it, I didn't see that it was an abusive relationship, my college relationship. I didn't think that it was anything outside of the normal. I thought I was like, oh, I'm 20 and I'm passionate. Fast forward probably. Let's see, I don't know how old I was , let's go back, let's go to 2016. Fast forward 2016. I dropped outta college in 2014 and I met a guy. He was actually a friend of a friend, so I met him through my friend and one of my closest girlfriends, honestly. And, and he came highly recommended. She thought she knew him. So she was like, yeah, you should give him a try. You know how to try going out with him, he seems like a good person. And so I did, to your question, and this is like late 2016, we started dating and within the first three months there were certainly red flags. I didn't see them then. Mm-hmm. Or maybe I did and I chose not to, but there was certainly a lot of, things that he didn't like about me. That [00:09:00] he ma he was vocal about from the very start, he, did not accept me for who I was. I come from a really small town, in Massachusetts. That's. Pretty ghetto. And he, often used to refer me to me as like a statistic of that same, city because a lot of people don't, they don't make it out of that city with a college degree or anything like that. And I had dropped out and so he used that, that oh, education target on my back, like to really make me feel bad. And that was only in the first three months. So there was definitely red flags. Did I listen? No. Yeah, I was guilty of ignoring red flags in my abusive relationship too. The relationship progresses, so when did you know the real abuse start? Mm-hmm. What kind of abuses did you endure? Yeah, like I said from the beginning, I feel like even three months in, even though, he wasn't physically, or even at that point, maybe emotionally abusive, but he [00:10:00] was definitely verbally abusive in the way he spoke to me. So I would say as early as those, it took me a really long time to actually understand that was abuse too. So as early as three months in, he was degrading me with words. And oftentimes, I would cry myself to sleep because I didn't know, I believed what he was saying, because I had, such a low self-esteem, such a self, a low self-worth. I believed everything that he said because I was like, well, it must be true. It's silly. But, i'm sorry, I kind of backtracked very common thought process that we deserve being treated this way. That's very common. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But one thing led to another and, eventually the relationship became, emotionally abusive. Like he was very manipulative. He wanted to kind of just. Make every decision for me. And I didn't know he was doing it. He would do it. He was very persuasive. He was very charming. And I actually, when I started [00:11:00] dating him, I started my walk with God. Mm-hmm. And I didn't know that he would be the one thing to deter it because I thought he was a Christian. I thought that he was in the church too. So we would go to church together. Oh, we had the whole deal together. Like it was just a front, and because I was like, oh, well he's, you know, obviously, I didn't marry him, but I also, the fact that I grew up in a Dominican household also played a part to it. I'm sorry if I'm jumping all over the place. No, you're fine. But, yeah, it played a role into the way I viewed men in my life because I thought that they always needed to be the, I'm Dominican, that culture's very, you know, the man is the head of the household, very machista, very, they gotta be the strong leader. And, so because I grew up in that setting, or with those examples, I would say. Not setting because my father was very different. But I saw that all around in the rest of my family. I definitely felt like I needed to have that in my life and I needed to follow [00:12:00] his lead, even though the lead was horrible. And so, I was like, all right, he's leading me anyways. We're going to church together. We're strengthening our faith together. This can't be that bad. That's what I used to tell myself. And there was a couple times that our verbal arguments got physical where he would pin me down. At times he would push me. It was a number of things. I tell myself all the time, I'm not even sure that I remember every single incident because there were so many at this point. And so ultimately. Towards the end of the relationship, he tried to kill me and oh, that's when I had to leave. Well, I didn't have an option. So it, it was a lot of physical, I'm sorry, a lot of verbal. And then ultimately physical abuse. So he was definitely faking it with the church stuff. And yeah, I mean, I don't, I didn't, I don't know. I would say definitely faking it, but also probably struggling on his own, and you mentioned your [00:13:00] background, but. I didn't even have that background of being Dominican or Spanish, but that seems to be a prevalent mindset in American culture, that the man is in charge and you're supposed to do what you're told and put up with it. Yeah, and that's why we don't fight back is because of the society that we are raised in, and then some of us have. An empathetic personality that results in wanting us to help people or maybe fix people. Was that true with you? Oh yeah. Absolutely. Especially by nature. I'm just like a, I'm a helper by nature. I want to help improve anything. I'm a manager, that's what I do. So I, with, when it came to my ex there was, he definitely had some, things internally going on that I thought. I was the answer to that I thought that I could help him with. There was definitely some anger stuff, and some unresolved trauma, so I was like, well. I'm pretty good at this stuff because I didn't, [00:14:00] at that point in my life, I hadn't really gone through much trauma. But I worked in the behavioral health field, so I'm like, I can help, I also love him so I can help. Mm-hmm. So each time that we had an issue I would focus on fixing either myself or trying to plead with him, see my side if I really thought that I was true, but oftentimes I was trying to fix him or I to be. Perfect for each other. For lack of better words. And you mentioned the word love. You loved him. What was your definition of love then? Yes. Well, I definitely, certainly did not know what love was then. Because, and I will say like it has a direct co correlation with the fact that I didn't know Jesus yet. Because I don't truly believe you can experience love without knowing Jesus. My definition of love back then was very, temporal. It was very, I don't even know what's the best word to explain it, but it was shallow. It was just based off of [00:15:00] appearances and what, what you can do for me and what I can do for you type of love. So not at all anything like what the love of God offers us. And I can say that now. I definitely know that I didn't know Jesus then. So I didn't know how to love or be properly loved. You were how old again? Whew. I didn't think about that. Let's see. Early in the twenties, right? Yeah. Yeah. I was 20, 24, 25, 24 when I started dating him. And then 20, oh gosh, I don't know. Yeah, I'm 27 now, so that was two years ago. So I was about like 22 to 26 when I was dating him, or 25. I think all the young people, including myself, when I was in my twenties, I was very gullible and innocent and trusting and yeah, I didn't know what love was and my mother made it very clear that, oh, well you don't, you have no clue what love is [00:16:00] and no mom, I, maybe I don't, but I'm gonna find out. And. You learn as you get older. You learn by experience. You learn when you meet Jesus, you learn how he loved us and how we are to love others. So, don't be too hard on yourself. Right? Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. I hear you. Yeah. No, my mom said the same thing growing up. You don't know. I love is, I think we often hear that and we don't actually understand what it is until we either lack, real love or we experience it for the first time. Yeah, because our parents, they see the people that we date and they're like, oh no, not for my kid. That's not a good choice for you, but we don't listen. Yeah. It actually, it's so funny you mentioned that it actually was different with my ex in that accord because my entire family actually loved him. Really? My entire family actually. Did not. Well, for two reasons. I was never vocal about the abuse. I never actually told everybody the real [00:17:00] truth about what was going on behind closed doors. So that was the first thing. And like I said earlier, he was charming. He would, he was persuasive. He got along with just about everybody. And when I tell you, like most of my family, I'm probably to this day, they still say the same thing. They said, we were shocked. We were surprised 'cause they did not see it coming. Well. Mm-hmm. I think my dad and my stepmother didn't really know the extent of the abuse. They saw some things. And they didn't like him, but they would never interfere out of respect for me. My mother and my sister were a little more vocal about, I don't like him. He, he pushes you around, he bosses you around. He's, he is arrogant and he is rude and. All those things, but mm-hmm. No, I didn't, I didn't listen. So at this point in your relationship you suffered a lot up to this point. Mm-hmm. Would you say that you were an angel at that time? No, I [00:18:00] definitely would not say that. And, before it was really difficult for me to explain this portion of my story because I couldn't do it without guilt or shame because that's what the enemy tries to, ki tries to keep us in shame and secrecy. Mm-hmm. But I mean, in my relationship with my ex, I have, I, I became unfaithful and little. Did I know then because I didn't understand then why I was seeking other men, and I was see, , seeking attention from other guys. It all ties to, for me, it all ties to the fact that I, I had a really low self-esteem and my self-worth was probably on the ground again. I didn't know God, I didn't really have a relationship with him. I, like I was saying I was going to church, but I was just going through the motions 'cause it's what I used to do and I was going to a Christian Church at this time. But it's just based on the foundation that I had from growing up in that Catholic church and I was, I just knew to go through the motions. I didn't really understand that I needed [00:19:00] to practice a relationship with God. So even though I was going to church while I was in this relationship, I didn't know God enough to know the love that he had for me and therefore make better decisions. So I saw other men, I saw, attention from particularly this one other guy, and I got really involved with him while I was with my ex. And ultimately the, that was something that made the abuse worse. Mm-hmm. Because my ex found out about it, and he, there was two occasions where on one occasion, the first time that he found out about the other guy, it was, oh, it was tough. He dragged me outta my bed. I was sleeping and he, Ooh. Just woke me up and dragged me outta the bed because he saw the text messages from the other guy. And I remember in that morning, so me and my ex used to live with a roommate at that time. And I remember in that morning, my, [00:20:00] our roommate, our third roommate, she was at her boyfriend's house. Mm-hmm. So I, but I completely forgot. And when. He dragged me outta bed and I saw how violent he was about to get with me. He had pinned me down to the ground. I started to yell. I started to, well, I tried to start to yell her name out. And then a, like a voice was like, no one's here. In my head, oh, and I felt so abandoned, Diana. Oh, I felt so alone. I was like, oh my goodness, I'm alone. No one's going to know what happened to me if this man does something to me today. And so, the rest of that day was. Horrifying. He got, he was violent, but then also he was violent towards himself. He tried to he tried to hold me hostage by basically selling. Me that he was gonna kill himself. He took a, a knife and mm-hmm. And we were in the kitchen for over an hour [00:21:00] and I was trying to try and deescalate the situation. I must have called his, well his family's not, wasn't in Massachusetts at the time. So they were far. So I, I must have called his sister, his cousin, like everybody trying to get them on the phone too, just. Reason with him. 'cause he wouldn't reason with me at that point in time. And he was also scared. He was scared that he knew, like he had, abused me before and that I was kind of at that breaking point, he's like, I think you're gonna turn me in because it got so bad. And I. At the end of the day, his brother who lived at State over got there. He probably drove down like an hour, which is unheard of. Mm-hmm. And. He deescalated the situation he got, he got him out of the house. He moved everything out that day. So I left to my sister's house so that he can get everything out. And I ultimately went to the police station. I got a restraining order that [00:22:00] day, but that wasn't the end, a for me, I couldn't. I don't know. My definition of love was messed up back then, so I thought that I was still in love with him. So it wasn't even like four days or five days later that I went back to the courthouse and I dropped a restraining order so that I could be with him again, because I thought that, it was a mistake and he was, and I was guilt, I was feeling so guilty because of my my unfaithfulness. So I was like, I felt like I hurt him. I didn't even, I disregarded all the, everything that he did to me. And I just was like, well, I hurt him. I have to go back and help him and want to tend to his feelings. 'cause, he felt betrayed and not loved by me at the time. So. It just blows my mind. It just yeah. That you would go back to fix his problems. Which I think, and I'm sure you agree with me, this just makes it worse. [00:23:00] You going back after all of that. Because you felt guilty, which was misplaced guilt. Okay. That's, it's great that you acknowledged that you made a mistake, but, that doesn't cancel out his abusive behavior. Absolutely. And I thought it did. That's it. I love the word that you used, canceled. For me, that's what I thought it was like, all right, well I did this. So he did that. And, and of course, like I said, going back to what I said earlier, I believed all the things that he told me about me. Mm-hmm. I believed that I, that's what I deserved. And so I didn't see it as, I didn't view it as an issue or a problem. Now, when did you finally come to your senses and say, I've had enough. I'm at rock bottom. I've got to get out of this relationship. I mean, for good. Yeah. It didn't come by my own, choice. And I say that because a lot of people think that, you always just get to walk out of a [00:24:00] abusive a relationship or you just choose to go, and that's not the case. I went back to him and ultimately we had a lot of issues up until the last time that I saw him. And I was still being unfaithful. I was still seeking attention from other men. And so again, at this point, he's not trusting of me. He's still looking through my phone. He's following me at this point to everywhere that I go. And, on the last. Occasion, we went to a party and we went back to his house after the party and we were both drunk. And he went through my phone and he saw a text message from the other guy. And basically that's when he, that's the night that he tried to kill me. He, it was the most violent he had been with me, throwing me around the room, really just using me. As a punching bag. Mm-hmm. And, up until the point where he tried to strangle me and I don't really know how I got out of the str out of his choke [00:25:00] hold. But I did. And then ultimately I ran outside after that and the neighbors were there and the neighbors, they didn't even want to get involved. We lived in an apartment building in a three story apartment building, and I didn't knock on anybody's door because I was afraid. I just didn't know what to do. He took my phone, well he threw my phone out the window. It was just a bad situation, you know? And I was just trying to run out of the building. And when I was trying to run out of the building, there was neighbors coming inside the building. Mm-hmm. And they saw both of us. They saw that his shirt was ripped, they saw me, I had blood, I had, I was probably looking all crazy. Wow. And they. Like, well, we don't really wanna get involved in this. This seems like a, I don't know, I don't even know the words that they use. But instead of calling the police they asked him, they got involved. They said, oh, can you just give her phone back? That's basically what they told him. And I'm like, no, I need you guys to call 9 1 1 because he tried to kill me. He's not going to call [00:26:00] 9 1 1. And so ultimately after some push and pull, whatever. They gave me their phone. I called nine one one. And the ambulance showed up. The police showed up and they detained him. And so back to the question that you asked, when did I choose to leave? Or when did I have enough after this incident? The fact that the Lord delivered me from death because mm-hmm. I don't know how I got out of his choke. He was much stronger than me. He went, we went to through the court, he went to jail. We did all of that. I didn't really have a choice. The relationship had to be over at that point. Mm-hmm. It didn't feel like that for me. Even for months after that. It didn't feel like I, I wanted to leave. And that's the crazy part. That's the part that I was so deep into his manipulation, into his tricks, that even at that point, I felt like I still owed him something. It wasn't until maybe about six [00:27:00] months later that I gave, when I truly gave my life to Christ that I knew. That everything that I had felt about guilt and everything that he had done to me, that it was all wrong. It was so wrong. And I, that's when I knew, but it, it didn't happen immediately. Even I was at the point of death and in the hospital waking up all that. It wasn't the point where I said I had enough. I didn't have a choice at that point to be with him because of the situation, but I would say when I found Jesus was when I really knew that. I deserve so much more. It sounds like you had a lot of codependency going on there. Mm-hmm. And that is a real stronghold. That's almost like brainwashing from a cult. Mm-hmm. If somebody trying to kill you and you're in the hospital and you don't think that, well, I need to get out of this relationship. And everybody would talk to me and everybody would ask me like, what do you wanna [00:28:00] do? I had to sit through court proceedings where he was present and. I was going, I've always been a person who has like, pretty strong morale, even though I didn't mm-hmm. Like I said, like I grew up knowing right from wrong. Mm-hmm. And I knew at the time that the right thing to do was to continue going to court, cooperate so that he would be sentenced and everything go through the trial so that he wouldn't do this to other women. Mm-hmm. I knew that was the right thing to do. I didn't wanna do it though. I didn't wanna be a part of that. I didn't wanna be a part of something that could con particularly like, follow him around for the rest of his life. It was really sick in the beginning. But ultimately I did the right thing, and I look back and I know that it was the correct thing. Because you just have to do it because you just never know if somebody like that is gonna change. You can pray. But you don't know and you [00:29:00] don't want anyone else to fall into that trap. Just looking back at your story, it looks like the Lord intervened in your life. Maybe that was an angel that he sent to get you outta that choke hold. Maybe it was him that put your abuser in jail so you could get out. Did you have anybody else that was on your side or anybody else who helped you? Absolutely. When my family, became aware of what happened because I called them that night and, everybody showed up at the hospital. My mom was there, my aunt, my sister, they all came to the hospital. They just didn't know. They didn't, my sister had guessed a couple things 'cause she had seen him follow me. She had noticed him in the last month or two before that. So she had known something was up, but she didn't know that it was this bad. And, so she was right there. They all of them were right there, but had they known, they, I think they would've been there, before and they would've tried to get me out before. But like I [00:30:00] said, because of my own doing and my own wishes of wanting to be there, I just stayed. I. Without telling them. But my family was, they were really supportive after and during the court and the trials and everything, they were very supportive. And there was one person in particular who was probably key in getting me to go back to the church. Mm-hmm. And, yeah, I consider him an older brother and he, I grew up with around him and he had a church. He has a church in Massachusetts. Well. He goes to a church in Massachusetts and he always invited me. And so, that really was what helped me turn my life around at that point. So tell us how you, found the Lord Jesus as your savior For real now? Yeah. Yeah, for real. And I always tell people, I'm like, I think I got saved in thousand 15, but, and I used to say that before, but now I know that, he really saved me in 2019, not only because of what he delivered me from, but because I knew, I felt it. I [00:31:00] felt his love. I felt. Everything I felt redeemed. So I would say like June of 2019, I, which was only about six months after the incident and I. Was after, after the incident, I was going to church still. I was, like I said, I, there was not really a period of time that I wasn't going to church. I was always going to church, but it was always a through the motions kind of deal, and I never really prayed and I never really, I didn't even read the word I, the only word that I got was on Sundays. And mm-hmm. Then ultimately on, in June of 2019, I said. Something's gotta change because I knew mm-hmm. That everything that I had experienced up until that point and all of my feelings of like still wanting to be with my ex even after everything were, so, they were, they came from a place, an evil place, right? Because I just knew that the Lord wouldn't send me back to that type of relationship. So I. [00:32:00] I started being intentional. I started just like saying, okay, God. I would sit with him in the morning and just say, God, I need you to show me why I'm here. And I kept on asking that question, why I am here and why I'm here. And he didn't answer that question. He answered a DA different question that I didn't even know that I had in my heart. He answered like the questions about. My feeling, my not feeling abandoned. Sorry, how do I say this? He answered my questions about me. Being loved by him. Mm-hmm. And I didn't know I had those questions because I was just like, well, I just, I'm a fixer by nature, so I just wanted to fix all the, I was like, I need my pur, I need my purpose and I need to walk into it. That's it. Yeah. That's what I wanted to do. And I was like, I need to learn how to do this. But by spending time with him daily. And really just getting into his word and learning his character, I learned his love. I learned that he loved me beyond every single thing that I had done. And I was able to walk out of the shame and [00:33:00] fear and guilt that I had wa I had walked in for so long because I, at that point I felt like I had made too many. Bad decisions, too many, just things that I was ashamed of. But when I was spending that time with him, he was like, I don't care about all that. He's like, I love you the way you are. I made you and I'm going to love you no matter what. And slowly but surely, he started to reveal his character to me. He started to reveal my purpose on this earth. And that's when I say that, I really got saved, but there was no like, aha moment. There was no, none of that. It was just like I, I had to start being intentional about it. I had to, if I wanted to see a change, I knew that something different, I had to do something different. Yeah. The Lord's been pursuing you your whole life. He was just waiting for you to Absolutely. Turn around and see him. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. So I say that healing is always a journey. There is no I've arrived [00:34:00] or I'm healed a hundred percent. It's a journey throughout our life. How did you start the healing process and what steps did you take besides church? I mean, I really changed my decisions. In my social life I reduced the amount that I was drinking. I used to drink a lot of alcohol that mm-hmm. I remember there was times that I drank alcohol to the point of blackout. So I reduced the amount of drinking I was doing. I reduced I increased the amount of times that I was in church a week. I was in church twice or three times a week rather than just on Sundays. And then. I told my family, I'm making a decision to make church a priority in my life. God, the priority, not just not the church, God, a priority in my life. So ev everything that did not serve that purpose, I tried to just remove out of it. I was in a job that I was unhappy, so I left it. I pursued a job that was. Quiet it, it just allowed me to take a step back from management. It wasn't in the limelight. I [00:35:00] didn't have a lot of pressure, so I could spend a lot of time with God. And then most important, next to God, I took, I started therapy. I did therapy. Mm-hmm. And I did a trauma specific therapy. I did EMDR and I. But that's the second thing next to Jesus that changed my life. So explain what is EMDR for those that don't know what that is? Yeah, I haven't had to explain this in a while, but I'll try my best. It's called, lemme see if I can get this right. It's called eye movement. Desensitizing reprocessing, I think it is. Yes. And it's a yes. I tried. And it's a type of therapy that specifics on specifies on like if you have had childhood trauma or any kind of trauma really, and you use physical movements like tapping or eye movements to walk you through the memories and reprocess those memories and desensitize them. The emotions that are attached to it. So I [00:36:00] did that with the entire experience that I went through with my ex up until the point where he tried to kill me. And a lot of stuff was brought up during that during that year that I did therapy. It was very intense. It was hard work. It is hard, but I believed the Lord. For bringing me to that therapist because it was a very godsend, like it was a referral. And I knew that if I saw it through that on the other side, I was gonna come out the person that the Lord wanted me to come out. And that's exactly what happened. So I tell the listeners that are, there are many different tools for healing. Not everybody chooses the same tool. It's whatever's. Helpful for them and their situation. So you thought that therapist and that technique was really helpful for you, it sounds like. Yeah, because something that I noticed like I said, a lot of. Yes. I wasn't an abusive relationship, but there was some decision making in [00:37:00] my past choices that obviously weren't rooted out of that abusive relationship that came out of a different place. And I had done talk that I, I mentioned I was depressed in 2014 and when, mm-hmm. When I left college, I had. Done talk therapy. I had done all of that and it didn't work. CBT kind of stuff. And so I was like, I need something that's gonna be specific. Look at me just being a fixer and a planner, right? I was like, I need something that's gonna be specific and it's going to target this trauma that I just went through and help me come out a better person. And EMDR is truly if you are, that, if you're looking for results, that's what. You'll get if you apply yourself. I like what you said about there were issues that you had that were not related to the abuse. A lot of people, they wanna ignore those things and blame. Mm-hmm. Everything on the abuse. Well, we are complex creatures, aren't we? Absolutely. Oh. It's not always black and white, cut and dry. There are, aspects [00:38:00] of our personalities, our upbringing that are separate from the abuse that also need to be. Dealt with and healed. Yeah, too. So I'm glad you mentioned that 'cause that is important. But you're admitting that yes, you found the Lord and you're on your journey of healing, but it wasn't all unicorns and rainbows. There were some struggles and that we are going to struggle. Absolutely. Or we just keep going forward, right? Absolutely. It was not a, walk in the park after I made that decision. And especially for me, who was somebody who was battling, I was battling, just sexual temptation, lust desiring to just be in the world, drink alcohol, those things, those were not easy decisions to make. But. I had the strength of the Lord because I was with him and he was with me. Amen. And so I did it. Yeah. But it was not easy because there was, and especially I'm still young. I'm, I was what, 25 when I started making that, those choices. Mm-hmm. To turn to the Lord and. It's [00:39:00] just, it goes against everything that a natural 25-year-old wants. Yes. And you're being honest here, and I'm sure the listeners appreciate that you're being real with us. Yeah, absolutely. You're not pretending that, everything is hunky dory and you're perfect. No, absolutely not. So what is your relationship with God like right now? I think it's awesome. He's my best friend. I talk to him daily. I go to church. I'm involved in my church. I'm a spiritual coach. I have the good news podcast. I don't know. I don't find anything more gratifying than using every aspect of my life to glorify God and to glorify his holy name. And that's what I do every single day. I try at least. Amen. You're definitely different. The new rose looks different than the old rose. Oh my gosh, yes. And I laugh because this is something that. I am still experiencing with people that know me, that have known [00:40:00] me for many years. They're like, you're different now. Mm-hmm. And I get this so often now within my family, friends, they're like, oh, the old Rose wouldn't do this. Or the old, or the old rose was you. I get this a lot was fun. And I'm like, your definition of fun and my definition of fun now is completely different because I no longer want the things that the world has to offer. Yep. The things I used to do, I don't do them anymore. There's a song I put away My child. Just things. Yes. We have a lot of listeners who are listening to your powerful story today, and they're in an abusive situation right now. What advice would you give them right now? Oh, this is hard. I think I, I have so many. We still got 10 more minutes left on. Okay. So I got it. Well, if you don't know, God, that's my first piece of advice is to get to know him. I don't think that I could have gotten out [00:41:00] of my situation without him. I know that. I know that, like I said, my hand was forced because I. Was at the hospital and he was in jail. And it was no other choice, but I think that was God. God really delivered me from death and deliver, delivered me from that situation to get me to the place that I am now. So if you don't know God, it's so important that you have a relationship with him because he's gonna guide you the best. And secondly, trust somebody. Trust any someone in your life and talk to them about it. I didn't. And it made me feel so alone. It made me feel abandoned. Mm-hmm. And I know now that I have a. Army of people who love me and will, go to war for me. And I didn't think that, you think that oftentimes because of the choices that you make and ultimately for me, like, I thought all of my decisions was what warranted that abuse. So we get to a place where we don't wanna reach out for help because we're like, people are gonna look at me and say well, you [00:42:00] did that to yourself, but that's not. I learned that wasn't true. That the people that are there for you, that love you will help you out of it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I tell my listeners all the time, I'm available to help people. I'll help. I'll help you any way I can, and I'm sure that you would say the same thing. Absolutely. Yeah. You would help anybody that reached out to you for help. Yes. I'm always happy to be an a listening ear. I literally, like I said, I'm a spiritual coach, so my phone is on twenty four seven. I answer calls, texts, voice notes, whatever. Yes. Awesome. Rose has her good news podcast. Yes. So you can hear her putting me in the hot seat for a change. And so you can listen to that on her show. How can the listeners connect with you? Absolutely. I am on, well, the Good News podcast, you could go to ww dot the good news podcast.org. You could find it on [00:43:00] iTunes and Spotify, but I'm also on Facebook, Instagram, and I'll have all that stuff in the show notes for everybody. Mm-hmm. Was there anything we left out that you wanted to tell the good folks listening? No, other than just thank you for having me. This has been awesome, and I just hope my prayer is that this, episode blesses somebody and gives them the strength and the courage to, to do what I, to do what I didn't get to do, leave. So, amen. Mm-hmm. Amen. Yes. This has been great. I've enjoyed listening to you tell your story again, and how the Lord's brought you to where you're at now. Thank you. God bless you. God bless you too. And all your listeners, wow, wasn't she great folks? It's an amazing story. So you be sure to reach out to Rosalie and listen to her podcast. I hope this encouraged you. It [00:44:00] sure encouraged me. So thank you so much everybody for tuning in today. We're going to see you next week. God bless you everybody. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

A full autopsy on the 2025 Nebraska Football season, breaking down exactly where the Huskers succeeded and where the "fatal wound" occurred. We dive deep into season grades for every position group and evaluate Matt Rhule's Year 2 performance. From the impact of Dylan Raiola's injury against USC to the surprising regression of the defensive line, we leave no stone unturned in this Husker season recap. We also debate the true team MVP, discuss the John Butler experiment, and analyze whether the "Minnesota mindset" issue was a sign of deeper coaching failures. Topics & Timestamps: 00:00 Intro: Seasonal Autopsy 02:40 Team MVP Debate: Emmett Johnson vs. Dylan Raiola 05:00 The Fatal Wound: How the USC Game Changed Everything 16:00 The "Minnesota Mindset" & Coaching Red Flags 31:15 Quarterback Room Grades 34:15 Tight Ends: Disappearing Act? 39:00 Offensive Line: Scapegoats or Failures? 43:00 Wide Receivers: Banks Underperforms, Hunter Shines 49:00 Running Backs: The Emmett Johnson Show 51:40 Defensive Backs: The Best Unit on the Team 01:02:30 Linebacker Grades & Coverage Issues 01:07:00 Defensive Line: Why the Pass Rush Failed 01:11:30 Special Teams: Eckler's Elite Unit 01:16:00 Final Grade for Head Coach Matt Rhule If you enjoyed this episode, please Like and Subscribe! #gbr #huskers #nebraska #cfb #b1g Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rob Reiner, wife found dead with apparent stab wounds inside Brentwood home. 15 killed in mass shooting in Sydney. Police release person of interest in shooting at Brown University. Worst Christmas song #2. What makes a great Christmas song? Stay-at-home-mom salary. 

Support the showThe "Original" Marriage Flippers Meet the Labradors—Javier and Shannan. Married 33 years, they've weathered the highs, lows, and everything in between—and now their mission is simple: to see marriages thrive, not just survive. As sought-after conference speakers, authors, podcast hosts, and creators of 24/7 Marriage Bootcamps—3-day intensives that help couples hit reset—they bring humor, honesty, and hard-won wisdom to every conversation. Restoring Hope. Redeeming Stories. Rebuilding Strong Marriages.Please rate and review our podcast. Make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Need help in your marriage right now? Check out our free resources. Attend a 24/7 Marriage Bootcamp

*Listen to the Show notes and podcast transcript with this multi-language player. Summary This episode explores how healing, growth, and maturity happen within the Family of God — not in isolation, but through love, correction, and openness to one another. The speakers discuss how Christ works in us and through one another, not “from the sky,” and how true oneness in the Body of Christ requires humility, confrontation, forgiveness, and submission to His lordship expressed through our spiritual relationships. The family becomes the instrument of God's healing when we let His Spirit bring both correction and restoration in love. Show Notes Blind spots are part of growth — we all have areas we can't see; the issue is how we respond when others lovingly point them out.Christ in us — not in the sky. The presence and ministry of Christ flow through the Body of believers.Confrontation is love in action — correction from others is not rejection but an opportunity for transformation.Spiritual oneness brings clarity — agreement in the Spirit brings freedom, flow, and the anointing.Wounds from friends heal — true family love sometimes hurts, but it leads to purity of heart and deeper unity.The shepherd's heart — watching over one another is essential as we move forward together in the Kingdom. Quotes “It's Christ in us, not Christ in the sky. He's put Himself and His presence in us.” — Ron“We can't do it by ourselves. We have to do it with each other.” — Ken“These wounds I received in the house of my friends.” — Lois“Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.” — Debbie“We're not going to be deceived because we're one.” — Ken“They're not rejecting you — they're walking with you through it.” — Ron“Let them...

Jason Wilde-Soothing Our Wounds (12/15/25) by 96.5 WKLH

At a rehabilitation facility in Kyiv, some of Ukraine’s wounded warriors are working hard to learn how to use their new limbs. As John Yang reports, a very special dog named Lavr is giving them inspiration to persevere. PBS News is supported by - https://www.pbs.org/newshour/about/funders. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy

At a rehabilitation facility in Kyiv, some of Ukraine’s wounded warriors are working hard to learn how to use their new limbs. As John Yang reports, a very special dog named Lavr is giving them inspiration to persevere. PBS News is supported by - https://www.pbs.org/newshour/about/funders. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy

At a rehabilitation facility in Kyiv, some of Ukraine’s wounded warriors are working hard to learn how to use their new limbs. As John Yang reports, a very special dog named Lavr is giving them inspiration to persevere. PBS News is supported by - https://www.pbs.org/newshour/about/funders. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy

Today, we're diving into one of the most powerful, prophetic passages in the entire Bible; Isaiah 52 and 53. Written over 700 years before Jesus, these chapters paint a vivid picture of the coming Messiah, the Suffering Servant who would bring salvation, redemption, and peace. Isaiah describes a Savior who would be rejected, pierced, and crushed, yet through His wounds, we would be healed. These chapters are the heartbeat of the gospel, the prophecy that connects the Old Testament with the New in a way no other passage does. Let's unpack the depth, the beauty, and the hope found in Isaiah 52 and 53.As always be blessed and enjoy.Please follow, like, and share our podcast with a friend or family member!

Today I am sharing another new song. This time, it's all about what Jesus' BACK purchased for us and how to walk in that divine healing and health. Sick, injured? Know a loved one physically struggling? This episode is the one you need, friend. Be blessed!Past episode mentioned:Why I'm Certain Based on Scripture that God Wants Everyone HealthyLearn to Speak to Nausea, Period Cramps or Any Sickness or Injury Like Jesus WouldPicture Jesus' Back and Watch Sickness & Injury FLEE!Taking Communion Can Heal Your Complicated Relationship With FoodWhy I'm Not Afraid to Take Communion Carbs AnymoreCast Out Demons & Knowing if it's a Spirit of FearWhy it's Illegal for Sickness to Live in the Body of a BelieverConnect with Nyla:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nyla's second podcast, On the Job with God Christian Business Podcast

At BossMom, we're normalizing the conversations that help you grow a business while raising a family. In this episode, Dana breaks down the critical difference between sharing that builds your business and sharing that kills sales. She explores the concept of wounds versus scars—why sharing too soon can make customers back away, and how waiting for the lessons to crystallize creates content that converts. From her own experience with grief tanking her revenue to learning when vulnerability becomes a powerful teaching tool, Dana gives you the framework to know exactly what to share online and when to share it. Explore More Resources from BossMom BossMom is your go-to home base for content, support, and community designed specifically for moms growing businesses → https://bossmom.com

What if the parts of your story you're most afraid to share are the exact places where your power lives?In this raw, courageous, and transformative conversation, empowerment coach and “Becoming is Messy” podcast host Meghann Dawson reveals how our “messy middle” moments—trauma, shame, identity collapse, and the secrets we bury—are actually the gateways to healing, alignment, and true abundance.This episode helps listeners:• Stop hiding the hard parts of their past• Reconnect with their inner voice and reclaim emotional freedom• Transform trauma into wisdom, purpose, and personal power• Understand how healing yourself energetically heals your worldIf you've ever felt broken, ashamed, or afraid to be truly seen—this episode is a must-listen.Topics Covered0:00 — The Parts You're Hiding Are Your PowerWhy nearly 70% of people silence their authentic self—and why it hurts your soul.2:46 — Aligning Energetically: I AM / CONSCIOUSNESS Breath + 78-Second IntentionHow to create instant coherence with The Divine.9:44 — Wounds to Wisdom: When the Light Shines Through the CracksElaine's intuitive vision during the Intention ritual.10:59 — Meghann's Story: Trauma, Identity Collapse & the Curveballs of BecomingLosing her grandfather, discovering her father wasn't her biological father, and the shattering that followed.14:47 — Why Life Gives Us “Opportunities to Go Out of Alignment”Elaine's near-death download about duality, love, and the purpose of humans.18:54 — Abundance Defined: Personal FreedomMeghann's powerful definition—and what it means to live it.20:30 — Hiding, Coping & the Shame SpiralAddiction, secrecy, and what happens when we believe our wounds make us unlovable.24:12 — The Imperfect Level Up: Meghann's 7-Step Healing FrameworkLetting your inner voice lead, exploring childhood, valuing the messy lessons, embracing magic, and more.31:44 — You Are Perfect Because of Your ImperfectionsElaine's Divine message during her stroke.33:01 — Polyvagal Theory, Nervous System Healing & “Hiring the Heavens”Practical tools for emotional and physical healing.41:59 — Baby Steps for Real TransformationStillness, music, confession, forgiveness, and raising your vibration.48:26 — Why “Becoming Is Messy” Is a BlessingHow sharing your truth creates connection, compassion, and freedom.Key Takeaways (Skimmable Wins)· Your “messy middle” is not your shame—it is your initiation into authentic power.· Secrets create suffering; safe sharing creates liberation and connection.· Healing is lifelong and imperfect—and that's exactly how it works.· Trauma doesn't define you; it refines you into who you were designed to be.· Forgiveness and nervous system regulation are the gateway to...

Did you know that some species of worms can be cut into multiple pieces and each piece will make a new worm? Some can even make a whole new brain. Wild, right?While not all forms of healing are quite as miraculous as this, the body's ability to repair itself is pretty darned cool. So today, we're answering your questions about healing. Like…Why do we pick at scabs?Why do animals lick their wounds?How does breath work affect the nervous system?What's the best outdoor activity to help heal from heartbreak?For our next Outside/Inbox roundup, we're looking for questions all about love! From what happens in our bodies when we fall in and out of love, to whether animals fall in love. Send us your questions by recording yourself on a voice memo, and emailing that to us at outsidein@nhpr.org. Or you can call our hotline: 844-GO-OTTER.Featuring Mansi Srivastava, Mona Gohara, Susan Taylor, Henk Brand, Jane Sykes, Aditi Garg, Carolina Estêvão, and Sandra Langeslag.For full credits and transcript, visit outsideinradio.org. SUPPORTOutside/In is made possible with listener support. Click here to become a sustaining member of Outside/In. Follow Outside/In on Instagram or join our private discussion group on Facebook Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Terrified of being abandoned… or suffocated… or never truly chosen in love? That's not you being “too much” or “not enough.” That's your attachment wounds talking. In this powerful episode, I sit down with psychotherapist and attachment expert Jessica Baum, LMHC, to unpack why you feel the way you do in relationships, and how to finally feel safe in your own skin and with the people you love.Jessica breaks down attachment styles in a way that feels like someone turning the lights on in a dark room. You'll learn why you get anxious, avoidant, or shut down, what “earned security” really means, how to anchor your nervous system when you don't have a safe person, and how somatic work helps trauma leave your body instead of ruling your life. We also explore what to do when someone you trusted isn't safe, and how to parent with presence so your kids grow up with a rock-solid sense of “I am worthy of love.”If your relationships, health, business, and self-worth feel tangled up in old pain, press play. This conversation is your roadmap back to safety, belonging, and secure love.Head to www.melissaambrosini.com/682 for the show notes.Join my newsletter: www.melissaambrosini.com/newsletterGet my FREE ZenTone Meditation: www.melissaambrosini.com/zentoneFollow me on Instagram: @melissaambrosiniGet Time Magic: www.timemagic.me Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Jake and Bob are joined by Jason Evert, a Catholic speaker, author, and expert on the Theology of the Body. Together they explore the history of gender theory, how contraception shifted culture, and why it's important to root our identity in God. They also discuss how wounds and unmet needs are often tied to the experience of gender dysphoria and how our culture avoids addressing the source of suffering.    Key Points: The term gender has only recently entered into our vocabulary Wounds, past traumas, and unmet needs for belonging, love, and safety are often the root cause for someone experiencing gender dysphoria Many European countries and leading medical institutions are now rethinking their gender-affirmative protocols after evidence showed these interventions often failed to resolve underlying distress and caused harm Rather than addressing the source of suffering, our culture has told us our bodies are the problem The different gender labels within society today offer an identity and community to those feeling rejected or isolated Our identity is as beloved children of God and shouldn't be reduced to how we feel or our social affiliations The truth can become a weapon if we don't first listen in love and acknowledge the experience of suffering   Resources: Jason's Website Male, Female, Other? A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender by Jason Evert Male, Female, Other? booklet by Jason Evert with an introduction by Chole Cole Theology of the Body in One Hour by Jason Evert Navigating Gender with Charity and Clarity Course Gender Resources   Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 02:36 How Jason Discovered the Theology of the Body 05:35 The History of Gender Theory 15:45 When the Body is Made the Problem 23:54 Addressing the Experienced Suffering 29:51 Same Sex Attraction and Finding Your True Identity 38:33 How to Share the Truth without Using Truth as a Weapon 46:44 They Need to Trust You Before They Will Trust Your Ideas 54:33 Resources   Connect with Restore the Glory:  Instagram: @restoretheglorypodcast  Twitter: @RestoreGloryPod Facebook: Restore the Glory Podcast   Never miss out on an episode by hitting the subscribe button right now! Help other people find the show and grow in holiness by sharing this podcast with them individually or on your social media. Thanks!

December is your release season. The weight, the wound, the pride—it can't come with you into the next year. Let It Go is about closure, surrender, and making space for what's next. Healing doesn't always start with holding on—sometimes it starts with letting go. This series is a spiritual cleanse before the crossover; a final reset that frees your hands for what God is about to place in them.

Welcome to Season 2 of the Orthobullets Podcast.In this episode, we review the high-yield topic of⁠⁠ Foot Puncture Wounds ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠from the ⁠Foot & Ankle section.⁠Follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Orthobullets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube

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December is your release season. The weight, the wound, the pride—it can't come with you into the next year. Let It Go is about closure, surrender, and making space for what's next. Healing doesn't always start with holding on—sometimes it starts with letting go. This series is a spiritual cleanse before the crossover; a final reset that frees your hands for what God is about to place in them.

Host Adam Bittner welcomes Post-Gazette/Daily Collegian Nittany Lions insider Isaiah Maldonado to react to Penn State's decision to keep interim coach Terry Smith on new head coach Matt Campbell's coaching staff following the latter's hiring over the weekend. This show is presented by FanDuel. Was keeping Smith the right call? Both in terms of healing wounds from James Franklin's firing with players? And with fans who've wanted to see Joe Paterno's legacy further centered in the program? Or could the move set the stage for future division inside and outside the program? Especially if and when Campbell hits a rough patch? And what should we make of Campbell's reported choice to bring Jon Heacock with him from Iowa State as defensive coordinator? Presumably displacing Jim Knowles and his expensive contract? Our duo tackles those questions, then ponders the matchup with Clemson in the Pinstripe Bowl and the possible opt-outs of prominent names including Zane Durant, Dani Dennis-Sutton, Kaytron Allen and Nick Singleton. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

December is your release season. The weight, the wound, the pride—it can't come with you into the next year. Let It Go is about closure, surrender, and making space for what's next. Healing doesn't always start with holding on—sometimes it starts with letting go. This series is a spiritual cleanse before the crossover; a final reset that frees your hands for what God is about to place in them.

Learning to fully honor and grieve our hurts, wounds, and unhelpful patterns is SO important for genuine healing and growth. At the same time, we want to walk a fine line of not OVERLY identifying with those wounds, or feeling like our wounds are ALL that we are. (Or like we're broken, damaged, or in need of being fixed.) Let's explore this idea - and how to strike that healing, healthy balance - here on the Inner Work podcast. This is episode 20 of INNER REVOLUTION - a podcast series where we walk through the fire of inner transformation and awakening together. The purpose of this series is to help you shed ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that isn't a true reflection of Who You Really Are, so you can fully embody your Divinity, Light, and Sacred Mission. Join me for this exploration of: honoring and facing our FULL truth - including our wounds, past hurts, unhelpful patterns, survival mechanisms, etc. - without running away, numbing ourselves, intellectualizing, or putting on a happy face to avoid feeling our feelings walking a fine line of truly grieving what has hurt us without overly attaching to it, overdramatizing it, or making it our whole identity creating a healthy, loving, non-judgmental space between who you really are and your wounds, triggers, and hurts (and specific language you can use to begin creating this space) being able to hold and BE with a full range of experiences and emotions, without drowning in any of it OR suppressing it Thank you for being part of this Inner Revolution series. We've done a lot together! Here's ep. 18 of this series on "activating your Witness Consciousness": https://josephinehardman.com/non-reactivity-and-activating-your-witness-consciousness/ ******* You're lovingly invited to join my email community and get access to my free Akashic Records Mini Course + weekly newsletter: https://josephinehardman.com/akashic-records-intro/ Watch my videos on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@healer.josephine Follow on Instagram: https://instagram.com/healer.josephine Connect through my website: https://josephinehardman.com Thank you for being here, doing your inner work, and leading the way for others with your light. It makes a difference! Music & editing by G. Demers Inner Work 2025 All Rights Reserved.

Welcome to Journey Church! Our mission is simple: We exist to make Jesus accessible to anyone. We want to connect with you throughout the week! Download our Journey Church app here: https://www.journeyorl.com/app If this is your first time checking out Journey online go to https://www.journeyorl.com/connect and tell us a little about yourself! To learn more about church and discover your God given purpose, we encourage you to take next steps! Visit https://www.journeyorl.com/nextsteps Community isn't found, it's created. We believe God didn't call us to live life alone; we're better together! The way we do community here is through small groups. For more information on small groups visit https://www.journeyorl.com/groups to find a group that best fits you. If you have a need, or know of a need in your community, go to https://www.journeyorl.com/help and complete our Community Need Form. If you would like to financially support this ministry and help us continue reaching people all over the world with the message of Jesus, you can go to https://www.journeyorl.com/give Thank you for partnering with us through generosity!