Podcasts about fawning

Most of us know about the “fight, flight, freeze” responses to trauma. But there is another concept that has been steadily gaining awareness over the last several years, in large part due to pop psychology on social media: Fawning.You might have heard it described as akin to extreme people-pleasing, over-accommodating, over-functioning, and fundamentally a problem in the person doing the fawning. But as my guest today illuminates for us, it's not a personal failing, or even always a conscious choice. It is human nature to prioritize safety and connection, and fawning is a means of keeping ourselves safe. But when fawning runs the show, self-leadership diminishes and quietly drifts toward conflict-avoiding, blurred boundaries, and self-abandonment.Waking up to your fawning response takes courage. You will meet resistance from some as you shift the dynamics of your relationships. But it also unlocks deeper intimacy, more honest connection, and the joy that comes from trusting yourself and letting others meet the real you.This conversation invites you to consider where and with whom you fawn, and how you might want to respond in the future. Fawning has a real purpose when safety is on the line, but the more we are aware of it, the more we can be intentional about how we show up in our relationships.Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's degree in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. In her private practice in Los Angeles she supports individuals in healing trauma, reclaiming agency, and reconnecting to their authentic selves.She is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, and her work has been featured in Oprah Daily, The New York Times, Women's Health, Forbes, 10% Happier with Dan Harris, Girls Gotta Eat, and NPR's On Point with Meghna Chakrabarti. Ingrid's latest book, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, explores the often-overlooked fawn response to trauma.Listen to the full episode to hear:Why fawning shows up as an unconscious response to ongoing relational traumaHow understanding fawning helped Ingrid understand and heal from her own complex traumaHow our culture demands and reinforces fawning for women and marginalized peopleThe often very real bind of choosing safety over self and the feedback loop it createsAccessible practices to build a sense of internal safety and self-trustHow chronic fawning and self-abandonment contribute to burnoutLearn more about Ingrid Clayton, PhD:WebsiteInstagram: @ingridclaytonphdFacebook: @ingridclaytonphdYouTube: @ingridclaytonphdUnfawning on SubstackFawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves–and How to Find Our Way BackBelieving Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex TraumaLearn more about Rebecca:rebeccaching.comWork With RebeccaThe Unburdened Leader on SubstackSign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader EmailResources:What Is the Fawning Trauma Response? | Psychology TodayPeter LevineThe Greatest Showman Cast - This Is MeThe Traitors

The “Perfect” Couple and Infidelity: Why High-Achieving Relationships Break (And What to Do Next) You did everything right. You were the smart couple. The committed couple. The high-achieving, “we've got this” couple. Date nights. Careers. Kids. Goals. You worked hard. You showed up. You performed well. So how did infidelity happen to you? If you've ever thought, “We were the perfect couple. This doesn't make sense,” this episode will open your eyes in the most grounded, compassionate way. In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Rachel Dornianu of Sage Counseling & Wellness to unpack the hidden dynamics behind the “perfect couple” myth — and why high-achieving, Type A, perfectionistic relationships are often more vulnerable than they appear. We explore how perfectionism, people-pleasing, high sensitivity, emotional avoidance, and the Gottman “Four Horsemen” quietly erode intimacy over time — even in relationships that look beautiful on the outside. If you're navigating infidelity, feeling blindsided, or wondering how something could fall apart when you both “did everything right,” this episode will help you understand what really happened — and what healing actually requires. Top 3 Takeaways Perfection Isn't the Same as Connection High achievement, polished date nights, and shared goals can mask roommate syndrome, emotional loneliness, and avoidance. When couples stop pausing, attuning, and truly connecting, resentment and unmet needs quietly build beneath the surface. Performance is not intimacy. Infidelity Is Often a Maladaptive Coping Mechanism While betrayal is devastating, it's frequently rooted in avoidance, trauma, shame, unmet emotional needs, and poor coping skills — not pure moral corruption. Understanding the why doesn't excuse the behavior, but it creates clarity. And clarity is the first step toward healing. Healing Requires Addressing What Was Already There Perfectionism. People-pleasing. High sensitivity. Fawning. Walking on eggshells. Avoidance. Emotional flooding. Infidelity doesn't create these patterns — it exposes them. Whether you choose to stay or separate, the real work is learning how to regulate your nervous system, communicate honestly, and stop performing so you can start being. Favorite Quote “Perfection isn't intimacy. Performance isn't connection. And infidelity doesn't create the cracks — it exposes the ones that were already there.” Loving this show? Ready to go deeper? If this episode hit close to home and you're thinking, “This is exactly what happened in my relationship,” you don't have to figure this out alone. Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and begin making sense of the chaos. If you're ready for personalized support — whether through Voxer coaching, private sessions, or deeper transformational work — visit www.LoraCheadle.com. And if this conversation resonated, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that perfection is not the goal — connection is. Favorite Hash Tags #PerfectCoupleMyth #InfidelityRecovery #BetrayalHealing #PerfectionismInMarriage #HighAchievingWomen #RelationshipAfterInfidelity #EmotionalIntimacy #MarriageAfterAffair #FlauntPodcast--- About Rachel Dorneanu Rachel Dorneanu (she/her) is a licensed therapist, AASECT- certified sex therapist, and board-certified coach specializing in Anxiety, HSPs, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, and Sex Therapy, with a passion for helping people reconnect with their bodies, reduce shame, and find freedom in their wellness journey. She holds a Master's in Counseling and brings over 8 years of experience working with millennial women and moms. Through her work as a therapist and coach, Rachel integrates evidence-based approaches with compassionate education to normalize topics often left in the dark—like pelvic pain, pleasure, and embodiment. She is known for her relatable, down-to-earth style and her ability to make complex or uncomfortable topics accessible and affirming. Outside of her professional life, Rachel enjoys practicing yoga, spending time with her husband and 2 children, and traveling. Learn more at: www.sagecounselingtherapyandwellness.com  or www.racheldorneanu.com CBT Workbook for Perfectionism: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B91P55R?linkCode=ssc&tag=onamzrach0e83-20&creativeASIN=B07B91P55R&asc_item-id=amzn1.ideas.3HY29OX8D6BTK&ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ons_d_asin LOVE THE SHOW? TAKE THE NEXT STEP Don't just listen—start healing. Get your free downloadable guide on the “The Top Three Ways You Betray Yourself Every Day, and How to Stop” at www.burnoutorbetrayal.com. https://workplace-burnout.com/the-top-3-ways-you-betray-yourself-every-day-and-how-to-stop/ If you're ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let's talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.  Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com, a guide designed to help you take the first steps in feeling better, so you can reclaim your power, own your worth, and start putting yourself, and your life, back together again. About Lora: Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, TEDx speaker, and author of FLAUNT! and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal. After uncovering her husband's 15-year affair, she turned her own pain into purpose—helping high-achieving women reclaim their identity, power, and joy. A trauma-aware coach, somatic therapist, and former attorney, Lora blends legal insight with emotional and spiritual healing for full-spectrum recovery. She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Get the support you need to find your footing, begin making sense of it all, and feel better fast. As an attorney, betrayal recovery expert, and survivor of infidelity I can help you find the clarity and confidence to create a life that you love on the other side of betrayal. Book Your Session Here: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/coaching-session Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT  READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER? Step into the future you've always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It's a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door! Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com  and use Discount Code LORA25 for 25% off your order!

In this episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton, licensed clinical psychologist, transpersonal psychology specialist, and author of Fawning joins us to discuss her groundbreaking insights into an often-overlooked trauma response: fawning. Most of us are familiar with the three F's of trauma—fight, flight, or freeze—but there's a fourth response, fawning, that's rarely discussed. Unlike codependency or people-pleasing, fawning is a survival strategy that drives us to seek approval, appease, and draw closer to people who may hurt us—even when it's detrimental to our well-being. If you've ever found yourself apologizing to those who hurt you, obsessing over approval, befriending bullies, or suppressing your voice to maintain peace, this episode is for you. Dr. Clayton offers hope, tools, and compassion for anyone ready to break free from the cycle of chronic fawning and step into their authentic life. RESOURCES + BOOKS MENTIONED: Join Michele's Newsletter + Get a List of 52-Selfcare TipsSubscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@herstarringrole Follow + Listen, + Review: APPLE PODCASTS Follow + Listen, + Review: SPOTIFY PODCASTS   GUEST INFORMATION Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/Website/ Book: Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves–and How to Find Our Way Back     If you enjoyed today's show, please share it with a friend. Also, subscribe on Apple Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast player!   *The Good Life with Michele Lamoureux podcast and content provided by Michele Lamoureux is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does NOT constitute medical, mental health, professional, personal, or any kind of advice or serve as a substitute for such advice. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. Always consult a qualified healthcare or trusted provider for any decisions regarding your health and wellbeing. This episode may contain affiliate links.

In dieser Folge erkunden wir, wie Fawning bzw. People Pleasing uns dabei im Weg stehen kann, eigene Grenzen zu spüren und zu setzen. Wir schauen uns an, wie der Unterwerfungsimpuls entsteht – und warum er kein Zeichen von Schwäche ist, sondern ein kluger und sinnvoller Überlebensimpuls unseres Nervensystems. Wir sprechen darüber, wie tief dieser Impuls in uns verankert ist und wie entlastend es sein kann, seine neurobiologischen Grundlagen zu verstehen – und damit auch die Unmittelbarkeit, mit der er im Alltag mitunter greift. Außerdem teilt Kati therapeutische Perspektiven und alltagstaugliche Ideen, wie wir Schritt für Schritt wieder besser wahrnehmen können, wo unsere Grenzen liegen – und wie ein Nein, inklusive der Spannung, die es mit sich bringt, gehalten werden kann. Wir wünschen dir eine gute Zeit beim Lauschen! Links: Mitgliederbereich Nervenstark verbunden: https://katibohnet.de/mitgliedschaften/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic Katis Homepage: http://katibohnet.de?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic Marthas Homepage: https://marthapany.com?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic

You did everything right. You were the smart couple. The committed couple. The high-achieving, “we've got this” couple. Date nights. Careers. Kids. Goals. You worked hard. You showed up. You performed well. So how did infidelity happen to you? If you've ever thought, “We were the perfect couple. This doesn't make sense,” this episode will open your eyes in the most grounded, compassionate way. In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Rachel Dornianu of Sage Counseling & Wellness to unpack the hidden dynamics behind the “perfect couple” myth — and why high-achieving, Type A, perfectionistic relationships are often more vulnerable than they appear. We explore how perfectionism, people-pleasing, high sensitivity, emotional avoidance, and the Gottman “Four Horsemen” quietly erode intimacy over time — even in relationships that look beautiful on the outside. If you're navigating infidelity, feeling blindsided, or wondering how something could fall apart when you both “did everything right,” this episode will help you understand what really happened — and what healing actually requires. Top 3 Takeaways Perfection Isn't the Same as Connection High achievement, polished date nights, and shared goals can mask roommate syndrome, emotional loneliness, and avoidance. When couples stop pausing, attuning, and truly connecting, resentment and unmet needs quietly build beneath the surface. Performance is not intimacy. Infidelity Is Often a Maladaptive Coping Mechanism While betrayal is devastating, it's frequently rooted in avoidance, trauma, shame, unmet emotional needs, and poor coping skills — not pure moral corruption. Understanding the why doesn't excuse the behavior, but it creates clarity. And clarity is the first step toward healing. Healing Requires Addressing What Was Already There Perfectionism. People-pleasing. High sensitivity. Fawning. Walking on eggshells. Avoidance. Emotional flooding. Infidelity doesn't create these patterns — it exposes them. Whether you choose to stay or separate, the real work is learning how to regulate your nervous system, communicate honestly, and stop performing so you can start being. Favorite Quote “Perfection isn't intimacy. Performance isn't connection. And infidelity doesn't create the cracks — it exposes the ones that were already there.” Loving this show? Ready to go deeper? If this episode hit close to home and you're thinking, “This is exactly what happened in my relationship,” you don't have to figure this out alone. Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and begin making sense of the chaos. If you're ready for personalized support — whether through Voxer coaching, private sessions, or deeper transformational work — visit www.LoraCheadle.com. And if this conversation resonated, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that perfection is not the goal — connection is. Favorite Quote #PerfectCoupleMyth #InfidelityRecovery #BetrayalHealing #PerfectionismInMarriage #HighAchievingWomen #RelationshipAfterInfidelity #EmotionalIntimacy #MarriageAfterAffair #FlauntPodcast   About Rachel Dorneanu Rachel Dorneanu (she/her) is a licensed therapist, AASECT- certified sex therapist, and board-certified coach specializing in Anxiety, HSPs, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, and Sex Therapy, with a passion for helping people reconnect with their bodies, reduce shame, and find freedom in their wellness journey. She holds a Master's in Counseling and brings over 8 years of experience working with millennial women and moms. Through her work as a therapist and coach, Rachel integrates evidence-based approaches with compassionate education to normalize topics often left in the dark—like pelvic pain, pleasure, and embodiment. She is known for her relatable, down-to-earth style and her ability to make complex or uncomfortable topics accessible and affirming. Outside of her professional life, Rachel enjoys practicing yoga, spending time with her husband and 2 children, and traveling.

We're often taught that when conflict arises, we have two choices:Collapse… or armor up.Fawn or fight. Be porous or pick up the sword.But what if there's a third way?In this episode, I share a recent boundary moment that activated an old pattern in my nervous system — and how instead of over-explaining or hardening, I brought my intensity into the temple of my practice.We explore:Why drama that stays in the head becomes toxicThe difference between fawning and armoringWhy I'm not anti-drama — I'm pro-embodied passionKronos (linear time) vs. Kairos (sacred rhythmic time)Why the problem and the solution don't live on the same frequencyHow nonlinear movement opens nonlinear pathwaysRadiance as protectionAnd the third way beyond collapse or controlYou'll also be guided through a nonlinear sensual movement practice designed to help you metabolize intensity, shift frequency, and return to coherence.Bring your drama to the temple of your practice.Shift the state. Move the energy. Anchor the womb. Radiate the heart.Protection isn't contraction. It's alignment.Let's dive in!* Music credit: DJ Taz Rashid

If you struggle with people-pleasing and losing yourself in relationships, this episode with Ingrid Clayton, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert in relational trauma, about her book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, is a conversation that can help you understand and transform patterns holding you back. Exploring fawning, which is a lesser-known trauma response shaped by caretaking, appeasement, and self-abandonment, you'll learn how it often shows up as anxiety and hypervigilance. And, through personal and client stories, you'll gain insights on reclaiming authenticity, navigating backlash, and starting the process of “unfawning.”Listen and Learn:Why do some people cope with relational trauma by becoming overly accommodating or pleasing?How people-pleasing might actually be your nervous system choosing safety in ways that once protected you, but could now be quietly shaping your identity and relationships without you realizing it, and what it actually takes to reconnect with who you areHow chronic fawning can look like emotional strength on the outside while quietly disconnecting you from your own anxiety and bodyHow what looks like dishonesty can actually be a survival response that once kept you safe, and what it takes to notice when it starts keeping you stuckHow tuning into what you notice in your body can be the first uncomfortable but powerful step to breaking people-pleasing patterns and building more authentic relationshipsWhy red flags can feel like home after emotional abuse and how learning to trust your own resentment might be the first step toward building a truly safe relationshipResources:Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9798217045327 Ingrid's Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/ Connect with Ingrid on Social Media:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IngridClaytonPhD LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ingridclaytonphd/ Substack: https://substack.com/@ingridclaytonphd YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3PvWTgJMirURfgHWj3h28g About Ingrid ClaytonDr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. She's had a thriving private practice for more than sixteen years and is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, where her blog “Emotional Sobriety” has had more than a million views. She lives in Los Angeles, California. Book: Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9798217045327Related Episodes:305. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 308. Identifying and Surviving Gaslighting with Robin Stern 263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson 383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo417. Busting Trauma Treatment Myths with Emi Nietfeld416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn WalserSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of The Addicted Mind, Duane speaks with Dr. Nima Rahmani, a former chiropractor turned emotional health educator. Dr. Nima shares his profound journey from "success on paper" to a total relational breakdown that forced him to confront his own deep-seated patterns of anxious attachment and fawning.They dive deep into the concept of becoming "trigger-proof," the hidden cost of people-pleasing, and why "shame alchemization" is the secret to a truly authentic life. Whether you are struggling with addiction, burnout, or toxic relationship cycles, this episode offers a roadmap for moving from unconscious reactivity to conscious leadership.Key Topics & Chapters[01:32] The Wake-Up Call: Dr. Nima discusses how a crisis in his personal life and a brush with the legal system forced him to look past his professional success and address his defensive reactivity.[03:54] The Cost of Fawning: A breakdown of the "Fawn" response—how suppressing your truth to appease others creates a "bottomless pit" of resentment and physical inflammation.[10:14] Defining the Fawn Response: Dr. Nima provides a powerful analogy of how children learn to appease "predators" (caregivers) to survive, and how that evolves into a destructive adult relationship strategy.[14:41] Somatic Impact: Exploring the link between unresolved emotional wounds, fawning, and chronic physical issues like autoimmune diseases and inflammation.[21:00] Loving the Shadow: Why true self-love isn't about liking your "best" parts, but about "unshaming" the parts of yourself you've tried to kill off or hide.[27:12] Success vs. Intimacy: Why high-achieving entrepreneurs often crush it in business but fail in relationships, and how the "push energy" of success can actually block emotional safety.[47:26] The Worthiness Inquiry: Dr. Nima shares a foundational question for listeners: "I am only worthy of love when..."[52:00] The Heartbeat Realization: A moving story about hearing his son's heartbeat and rediscovering the concept of inherent worthiness.Key Quotes"Shame alchemization is the secret to being a human... finding these embarrassing, unacceptable parts of us and really looking to understand them." — Dr. Nima Rahmani"Fawning is when you freeze a part of you in an interaction... you freeze your truth and then you perform niceness." — Dr. Nima Rahmani"One size fits all is not real. It's not real for baseball caps, and it's not real for recovery plans." — Dr. Nima Rahmani (Note: This is a callback to the theme of individualized healing)"The path to self-love is really about loving your shadow." — Dr. Nima RahmaniUnderstanding the Survival ResponsesTo better understand where "Fawning" fits into our biological safety system, it helps to see it alongside the more commonly known stress responses:Fight: Aggression and boundary-setting.Flight: Avoiding or escaping the threat.Freeze: Numbing out or becoming paralyzed.Fawn: Appeasing the threat to ensure safety.Resources MentionedThe Attachment Style Quiz: Discover if you are anxious, avoidant, or disorganized. [Link provided in bio/show notes]Recovery Demystified: Exploring "Quit Lit" and science-based recovery tools."Unshaming": The work of David Bedrick.About Dr. Nima RahmaniDr. Nima Rahmani is the founder of the Trigger-Proof methodology. He helps entrepreneurs and individuals heal attachment wounds to uplevel their capacity for love and leadership.Connect with Dr. Nima:Website:https://becometriggerproof.com/Instagram: @drnimaPrevious Interview With Dr. Nima RahmaniIf you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery CenterNovusMindfulLife.comWe want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmindDisclaimerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Send a textEver notice how your best boundary script disappears the second your parent's name lights up your phone? We dig into why that happens and what to do next, blending lived experience with clinical insight to make sense of fawning, conditioned guilt, and the body's fierce loyalty to old safety strategies. Our guest, licensed professional counselor Jessica Van der Merwe, specializes in trauma, complex trauma, dissociation, and adult children of dysfunctional families—and she brings both expertise and heart to a topic that feels raw, messy, and very real.Together we unpack the gap between knowing and doing: why cognitive plans crumble under stress, how the nervous system prioritizes survival over scripts, and what it takes to gently retrain your body that choosing yourself is safe. We draw a clear line between true guilt and conditioned guilt, offering simple language and somatic anchors—like labeling sensations and repeating this is not an emergency—to help you keep boundaries without drowning in shame. We also name the grief so many carry: ambiguous loss for the parent you needed but didn't have, and the heavy loop of hope and letdown when change never comes.If “self-care” makes you cringe, you're not alone. We introduce realistic, micro-sized experiments in self-priority that respect your window of tolerance, from delaying a reply to stepping outside for one minute of sun. No ultimatums, no quick fixes—just steady practice that teaches your system a new story about safety and connection. Expect validation, practical tools, and a compassionate reminder that your body isn't broken; it's brilliant at keeping you alive, and it can learn new patterns.Listen now and share your take: what tiny experiment will you try this week—and what better word should replace “self-care”? If this conversation resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and send the episode to someone who needs language for what they've been living.This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcastIf you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.comSupport the showwww.bethtrammell.com

Selbstfürsorge oder doch Egoismus? Mein Januar war wild und zugleich sehr ruhig. Ich habe einige meiner Wünsche und vor allem meinen Fokus klar ausgerichtet auf Me-Time, auf Selbstfürsorge und auf Kreativzeit. Genau darüber spreche ich in dieser Folge. Darüber hinaus geht es um Survival Mode Zustände, besonders um's "Fawning" dessen Auswirkungen viele auch unter "People Pleasing" kennen. Ich spreche über Panikattacken und meine Tools, wie ich mit mentalen Downs umgehe. Eine sehr persönliche Folge, ich weiß, ihr liebt die. Hier kannst du noch mal nachlesen, worüber ich gesprochen habe. Blogartikel: Monatsrückblick Januar Blogartikel: Bestmove von Irene Kurka Hier geht es zu meinem Instagram Kanal. Solltest du Interesse haben an meinem ersten Tagesretreat am 11.04.26 von 10-18 Uhr in Wuppertal teilzunehmen, dann schreib mir gerne eine Mail.

In this episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton explains how to start moving from people pleasing to self-trust and breaking the cycle of fawning, which is the compulsion to appease others to stay safe. She shares her personal and clinical insights on how fawning develops, its impact on self-identity, and the challenges of healing. Dr. Clayton also discusses therapy approaches, the importance of self-trust, and practical steps for breaking the fawning pattern, emphasizing the value of curiosity, self-compassion, and gradual, body-based healing in reclaiming one's authentic voice and boundaries. Exciting News!!! Coming in March, 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Key Takeaways: Discussion of the trauma response known as “fawning” as a coping mechanism. Exploration of the challenges of setting boundaries for individuals who fawn. Examination of the differences between fawning and other trauma responses like fight, flight, and freeze. Personal stories illustrating the impact of fawning in childhood and adulthood. The importance of nervous system regulation in healing from trauma. Clarification of the distinctions between fawning, people pleasing, and codependency. The role of self-awareness and body-based practices in recognizing and addressing fawning. Discussion on the complexities of healing and the individual nature of recovery journeys. Critique of common therapeutic advice and the need for trauma-informed approaches. Emphasis on the importance of self-trust and curiosity in the healing process. For full show notes: ⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠! If you enjoyed this conversation with Ingrid Clayton, check out these other episodes: How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle and Set Healthy Boundaries with Terri Cole How to Set Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab Conversations for Radical Alignment with Alex Jamieson and Bob Gower By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you! This episode is sponsored by: ⁠David Protein ⁠Try David is offering our listeners a special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to ⁠davidprotein.com/FEED⁠⁠.⁠ ⁠⁠Hungry Root⁠⁠: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to ⁠⁠www.hungryroot.com/feed ⁠⁠and use promo code: FEED. IQ Bar: Text FEED to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus FREE shipping. (Message and data rates may apply). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From Wollongong to London, via Alice Springs, this is writer Nikki Gemmell on her deeply romantic life, and how she defied expectations to become a famous author.Nikki grew up the daughter of a coalminer father who thought writers were a burden on society, while her mum taught Nikki that only success was worthy of love.So Nikki went above and beyond to prove her beloved father wrong, and to get the attention of her mother through her achievements, publishing 20 books in the process, including the wildly successful The Bride Stripped Bare.Now the mother of four children, Nikki has also been determined to live her own life and raise her own children very differently, being generous with her love and pride for her sons and daughter.Content warning: Please take care when listening as this conversation mentions suicide.Help is always available.If you need to talk, 24/7 crisis support is available from Lifeline by calling 13 11 14.You can also text with them and chat online with counsellors hereThis episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris. Executive producer is Nicola Harrison.It explores parenthood, mothers, fathers, attachment, fawning, people pleasing, striving for achievement, accomplishment, writing, books, novelist, coal mining, family separation, divorce, childhood trauma, healing, generational differences, romance, love, mental health, Australian literature.To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you'll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

This episode is brought to you by LMNT, Audible and Strong Coffee Company. You've probably heard of the trauma responses fight, flight, and freeze — but there's a fourth response that may be shaping your life without you even realizing it: fawning. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Ingrid Clayton, PhD a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and author of Fawning, to understand why people-pleasing, over-accommodating, and self-abandonment are not personality flaws — they're intelligent survival responses your nervous system learned to keep you safe. You'll learn how fawning develops when fight, flight, or freeze aren't available — especially in childhood, unequal power dynamics, toxic relationships, and work environments where your safety or stability feels at risk. You'll also discover how living in a chronic fawn response can quietly disconnect you from your needs, your voice, your body, and your sense of self. This conversation helps you recognize why "just setting boundaries" often feels impossible, why you may disappear in relationships, and why choosing yourself can feel terrifying even when you know something needs to change. Most importantly, you'll hear why none of this means something is wrong with you — you make sense. If you've been stuck in survival mode, waiting for permission, approval, or safety outside yourself, this episode will help you understand what's been happening beneath the surface — and how you can begin moving forward by reconnecting with who you truly are. Follow Ingrid @ingridclaytonphd Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Introducing the "Fourth F": What Is Fawning? 02:16 – Why Fawning Is Not a Conscious Choice 03:40 – Power, Safety, and Why Fight or Flight Aren't Always Options 07:43 – Living in Chronic Survival Mode 09:27 – When Fawning Becomes Your "Personality" 12:09 – Empaths, Hypervigilance, and Nervous System Trauma 13:40 – Apologizing to People Who Hurt You 16:22 – Befriending Bullies as De-Escalation 20:29 – Gender, Power, and Why Context Matters 24:03 – Ignoring a Partner's Bad Behavior 26:43 – Toxic Hope vs Reality 28:27 – Presence as a Path Out of Fawning 31:24 – Reality as a Regulating Force 35:02 – Fawning in the Workplace & Overgiving 37:26 – Choosing Yourself for the First Time 40:29 – Becoming Who You Already Are 43:56 – Why "Just Set Boundaries" Fails Trauma Survivors 48:02 – Listening to Yourself as the Path Forward 51:12 – Writing Fawning & Seeing the Bigger System 55:06 – Somatic Tools to Regulate the Nervous System 01:02:27 – Health Costs of Chronic Fawning 01:04:03 – Self-Abandonment Explained 01:06:19 – What "Ever Forward" Means Through Trauma Healing ----- Episode resources: FREE electrolyte sample pack with any purchase at https://www.DrinkLMNT.com/everforward FREE 30-day trial of my favorite audiobook app at https://www.AudibleTrial.com/everforward 15% off organic lattes and coffee with code CHASE at https://www.StrongCoffeeCompany.com Watch and subscribe on YouTube Get Dr. Clayton's book "Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back"

Why do people who “try the hardest” in relationships often end up feeling unseen, resentful, or stuck in situationships? In this episode, Sabrina breaks down how people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and anxious attachment patterns quietly sabotage intimacy. Drawing from psychology, attachment theory, and trauma research, she explains why fawning is not love but a nervous-system survival response, and how suppressing your needs leads to emotional disconnection, resentment, and unhealthy power dynamics in dating and relationships. This episode dives deep into boundaries, self-abandonment, and why being willing to walk away is the most underrated relationship skill no one teaches you. Sabrina explores how fear of abandonment, low self-worth, and childhood conditioning keep people stuck accepting breadcrumbs, avoiding conflict, and performing for love. If you're struggling with anxious attachment, people-pleasing, situationships, or feeling lonely inside a relationship, this conversation offers neuroscience-backed insight and practical tools to help you stop losing yourself and start building secure, authentic connection. If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina Give your skin a rest with clean, clinically tested skincare from OSEA. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code SABRINA at OSEAMalibu.com For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to Hungryroot.com/SABRINA and use code SABRINA ============================= Chapters 0:00 Why Being “Too Loving” Is Blocking Real Connection 2:10 People-Pleasing Isn't Love, It's a Trauma Response 5:10 Fawning, Anxious Attachment, and Self-Abandonment 8:20 Why the “Cool Girl / Easy Partner” Always Loses 11:30 Conflict Avoidance Is Quietly Killing Your Relationships 15:10 The Psychology of Power: Why Being Willing to Leave Matters 18:40 How Fear of Abandonment Keeps You Accepting Breadcrumbs 22:10 What Secure Relationships Actually Look Like (Repair Over Perfection) 26:00 How to Stop Self-Abandoning and Start Speaking Up 30:10 Tool of the Week: The Self-Abandonment Check-In Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Send us a textNew year, new courage. We're stepping across the threshold with two clarifying questions—what is mine to hold and what is mine to let go—and using them to untangle people-pleasing, set clearer boundaries, and build a steadier inner life. A surprising health scare pressed pause and brought sharp focus to the survival patterns that once kept me safe, especially fawning: the reflex to merge, appease, and smooth over to protect connection.I share how I discovered fawning, what it looks like in everyday moments at work, home, and church, and why it's not manipulation but a nervous system strategy. We unpack detachment as compassionate clarity, not distance, and explore how small practices—breath, body awareness, short honest statements—help us move from automatic yes to thoughtful choice. You'll hear how trauma and memory shape quick reactions in the amygdala, and how unfawning invites a slow rewiring toward psychological flexibility, agency, and peace.Listen to E67, AutonomyListen to E149, Reimagining Our Personal Sense of AgencyRead more from Dr. Ingrid Clayton: FawningSupport the showBegin Your Heartlifter's Journey: Support the show: Your Donation Matters Leave a review and rate the podcast: WRITE A REVIEW Make a tax-deductible donation through Heartlift International Visit and subscribe to Heartlift Central on Substack. This is our new online meeting place for Heartlifters worldwide. Download the 2025 Advent Guide: The Great Glimmer Hunt Meet me on Instagram: @janellrardon

Have you ever felt pressure to keep the peace and ended up saying “yes” when a big part of you wanted to say “no”? In this episode, we unpack people pleasing – and, at its extreme, fawning – an often misunderstood coping response rooted in survival. We’re joined by Lia Love Avellino, LCSW, director of head and heart at The Well, to explore how boundaries, emotional health, and lived experience intersect. Lia helps us recognize the physical cues that signal self-abandonment – like a tight chest, knotted stomach, or shaky voice – and offers tools to pause, check in with the body, and name what you truly need. Because boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re meeting places that make more honest, authentic connection possible.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Send us a textIn this episode of The Nourished Nervous System, I'm joined by Dr. Nima Rahmany, chiropractor, educator, and creator of the Becoming Trigger-Proof methodology, for a deep and illuminating conversation about people pleasing, trauma responses, attachment patterns, and how nervous system healing transforms our relationships — with others and with ourselves.Dr. Nima shares his personal journey from chiropractic care into somatic psychology and attachment work, shaped by his own experiences with ruptured relationships, trauma bonding, and nervous system dysregulation. Together, we explore how stress, chronic illness, burnout, and relational conflict often stem from self-abandonment learned early in life — and how healing begins by turning inward.This conversation weaves somatic awareness, polyvagal theory, shadow work, and attachment theory into a compassionate framework for understanding why so many of us struggle with boundaries, resentment, and emotional exhaustion.In this episode, we explore:The fawn response and how people pleasing develops as a survival strategyWhy self-abandonment often leads to burnout, autoimmunity, and chronic stressHow childhood attachment wounds show up in adult relationships and parentingThe difference between being boundaryless, walled-off, and elegantly boundariedWhy resentment builds when we ignore our body's “no”How shadow work helps us reclaim disowned parts of ourselvesA somatic approach to working with triggers in real timeWhat it actually means to be “regulated” — and why regulation doesn't mean being calm all the timeHow to build resilience by increasing your capacity to feel, rather than suppress, emotionDr. Nima also walks us through a powerful, embodied example of how triggers with our children or partners can become doorways to healing unmet needs within ourselves — offering a practical, compassionate roadmap for rupture and repair.This episode is especially supportive if you:Identify as a people pleaser or “the strong one”Struggle with guilt around saying noFeel chronically depleted despite doing “all the right things”Are navigating parenting, partnership, or work stressSense that your nervous system is asking for a different way of relatingResources mentioned:WebsiteDr. Nima Rahmany's Attachment Style QuizThe Trigger-Proof ExperienceFacebookResources:Ayurvedic Dosha Quick Reference Guide Abhyanga Self Massage Guide Weekend Nervous System Reset Nourished For Resilience Workbook Find me at www.nourishednervoussystem.comand @nourishednervoussytem on Instagram

There is another F word – no, not that one. It's FAWN, the under-appreciated fourth companion of the well-known coping responses: fight, flight, and freeze. Fawning means people-pleasing, and it can be used for survival – truly! Listen to this fascinating conversation with psychotherapist Meg Josephson on how to recognize fawning, break the cycle, and replace it with other coping strategies. She helps all of us pause before asking the question: Are you mad at me? Show Notes: Watch the full episode on Youtube! Join the LESS AWKWARD MEMBERSHIP HUB Go to Quince.com/AWKWARD for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.  Download the FREE Playbook for Getting Your Kid to Talk Order our book This Is So Awkward Check out all our speaking and curriculum at www.lessawkward.com and our super comfy products at www.myoomla.com To bring us to your school or community email operations@lessawkward.com To submit listener questions email podcast@lessawkward.com Produced by Peoples Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Grab a copy of Dr. Ingrid Clayton's book here — https://amzn.to/48Semw4Want to listen on Audible? Get a free Premium Plus trial here: https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp(As an Amazon associate, I receive a small commission on purchases made through the links on this channel. Thanks for making this show possible!)Ingrid Clayton, PhD, is a writer and clinical psychologist in private practice in Los Angeles, California. She's the author of Fawning: a powerful to the often-overlooked piece of the fight-flight-freeze reaction to trauma, Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma, where she uncovers her personal experience of childhood trauma from a psychologist's perspective, and Recovering Spirituality: Achieving Emotional Sobriety in Your Spiritual Practice. Ingrid is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, where her article “What is Self-Gaslighting?” is considered an essential read!With a Masters in transpersonal psychology and a PhD in clinical psychology, Ingrid has a holistic approach to psychotherapy, incorporating trauma-informed modalities like Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, and other experiential ways of working with the nervous system. Ingrid has been using a relational approach to therapy since 2004, bringing her whole self to the work—including her personal experience, intuition, and education. This enables her to be in real connection and collaboration with her clients.✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboyspodhttps://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/✖️✖️✖️The content presented in this video is for informational and educational purposes only. All individuals and entities discussed are presumed innocent until proven guilty through due legal process. The views and opinions expressed are those of the speakers.✖️✖️✖️Music by Lou Ridley — “Bible Belt” | Used with permission under license.This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PreacherBoys and get on your way to being your best self.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth “F” after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth “F” after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth “F” after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this conversation, Ali Damron and Kelly Kessler explore the concept of self-respect and the fawning response, discussing how it manifests in relationships and personal dynamics. They delve into the importance of understanding the nervous system, the impact of grief on personal growth, and the necessity of setting boundaries. The discussion also touches on the pressures of holiday expectations, the challenge of asking for help, and the journey towards internal validation. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of choosing oneself and cultivating a supportive community. Takeaways Self-respect is crucial for personal growth. Fawning is a response to external pressures and expectations. Understanding the nervous system is key to healing. Self-abandonment can lead to unhealthy relationships. Grief can catalyze significant personal change. Choosing yourself often means setting boundaries. The holiday season can amplify feelings of stress and obligation. Asking for help is a vital skill to develop. Recognizing patterns of behavior is essential for change. Internal validation is more important than external approval. Sound bites "I was completely abandoning myself." "You are allowed to prioritize your peace." "Your energy is worth something." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Self-Respect and Fawning Response 02:56 Understanding Self-Abandonment and Fawning Patterns 05:58 The Impact of Relationships on Self-Identity 09:01 Navigating Grief and Personal Transformation 12:11 The Role of Community and Support in Healing 15:00 Choosing Yourself: The Journey of Self-Love 17:45 The Pressure of Holiday Expectations and Self-Care 20:54 Asking for Help: Building the Muscle of Vulnerability 27:03 Navigating the Challenge of Receiving Help 28:49 The Illusion of External Validation 29:44 The Pursuit of Fulfillment 31:00 Understanding Personal Desires 32:34 Setting Boundaries in Relationships 35:38 Creating Safety Within Yourself 37:42 Recognizing Fawning Behavior 39:50 The Energy Behind Actions 41:16 Choosing Yourself and Your Peace 43:39 Filtering Relationships 46:38 The Ongoing Journey of Self-Discovery   Kelly's Resources: https://www.instagram.com/drkellykessler/ Self Respect Reset   Ali's Resources:  Calm the Chaos: Practical Tips and Tools for Stopping Anxiety in It's Tracks Course! Consults with Ali  Fullscript (Get 25% off all supplements for Black Friday) BIOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough 25-33% off using code ALIDAMRON10 www.alidamron.com/magnesium Master Your Perimenopause Course + Toolkit "Am I in Perimenopause?" Checklist.  What Hormone is Imbalanced? Quiz! Fullscript (Get 10% off all supplements) "How To Balance Your Hormones For Better Sleep, Mood, Periods and Energy" Free, On Demand Training Website  Ali's Instagram Ali's Facebook Group: Holistic Health with Ali Damron 

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth “F” after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you avoid conflict? Do you tend to take the blame? Do you take care of others at the expense of yourself? Do you live in a state of hypervigilance? Fawning can appear in a plethora of different ways, it can be visible or invisible; it can manifest in our relationships to sex or money, or in the tendency to 'people-please'. But one thing remains constant: it is about finding safety in an unsafe world, often at our own expense. Fawning expert and clinical psychologist Dr Ingrid Clayton shines a light on this under-represented but crucial piece of the trauma puzzle, bringing clarity and support. Drawing on twenty years of clinical psychology work, as well as a lifetime of insight as a recovering fawner herself, she shares tools to find meaningful, reciprocal connections – and finally be ourselves.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

People-pleasing is an indication of anxiety and nervous system dysregulation. So why are you people-pleasing? People pleasers frequently have experienced emotional chaos, abuse, emotional neglect, anxiety, or trauma that has left them feeling unsafe. The need to feel safe and to keep the peace drives people-pleasing. What is people pleasing? According to Psychology Today, people-pleasing is a need for approval and validation from others. People pleasers habitually focus more on helping others than caring for their own needs. In addition, people pleasers fear rejection and prioritize others' happiness over their own. Why are you people-pleasing? The need to people-please is multifaceted but includes the following: Avoid conflict We often see people-pleasing in those who have experienced trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysfunction in the family unit. If parents have used physical punishment, yelled and screamed, and the child has felt unsafe, they will strive to please others to keep peace in their environment. People-pleasing then becomes a pattern in other areas as well and carries forward into adulthood, relationships, and career. Emotional neglect When a child experiences emotional neglect, intentional or unintentional, they may strive to gain approval as a means of emotional connection. Again, these people-pleasing tendencies will carry over into adulthood in most, if not all, aspects of their lives. Anxiety If a person has anxiety, they are living in an abnormal state of fear. They may feel they are unable to cope, so they please others to avoid disrupting their ecosystem. Meaning, if they please others, they won't have to face challenges they fear they cannot handle. In addition, when someone is anxious and their nervous system is not regulated, they may experience a fawning response. Fawning is people-pleasing. Therefore, we can associate a dysregulated nervous system with the need to please others. Guilt and shame If a child grows up in a dysfunctional home or has anxiety, they may develop a sense of guilt and shame that their life has not been similar to or as good as that of others around them. In addition, they may feel that the dysfunction, yelling, screaming, fighting, abuse, or trauma may have been their fault. So many things can lead to someone feeling guilt and shame, but a sense of abnormalcy can exacerbate this. People-pleasing becomes a coping mechanism for emotional instability. What does it look like to be a people-pleaser? Consequences of pleasing others and sacrificing your own happiness. How to overcome being a people-pleaser. Things you can focus on to change from a people-pleasing mindset. It's not easy, but it's doable. Read the full show notes and access all links. https://therobyngraham.com/why-are-you-people-pleasing/

In today's episode, Sara sits down with author and advocate Celeste Yvonne, whose book It's Not About the Wine cuts straight through the noise of mommy wine culture and exposes what's really going on behind the scenes.   This conversation digs into the political and psychological systems that encourage women to drink, profit from their burnout, and quietly benefit when mothers are overwhelmed, numb, and too exhausted to challenge the status quo.   Sara and Celeste unpack how alcohol became the “acceptable” coping mechanism for modern motherhood, why women are drinking more than ever, and how targeted marketing turned female exhaustion into a trillion-dollar opportunity for Big Alcohol. If you've ever wondered why drinking feels so normalized for moms or why quitting sometimes feels rebellious, this episode will connect the dots.   They also explore what happens when women finally step out of that fog. Spoiler, clarity changes everything. From relationships to emotional patterns to political awareness, sobriety becomes a form of awakening, and that awakening has a ripple effect.   If you've felt the spark of something waking up inside you, this episode will fan that flame. In this episode, you'll hear: Why mommy wine culture exploded on social media and who benefitted from it How Big Alcohol used burnout, overwhelm, and emotional labor as a marketing strategy Why numbing out keeps women small, quiet, and disconnected from their own power The cultural expectations that trap women into drinking more than they realize How marketing shifted from cigarettes to wine, and why women became the primary target The connection between sobriety and political clarity What real self care looks like when alcohol is no longer the default How sobriety gives women their voice back, and why that voice matters The emotional patterns alcohol keeps hidden and what rises to the surface when you stop Why women often feel angrier in early sobriety, and why anger is actually a sign of waking up About Celeste Celeste Yvonne is a writer, speaker, and author of It's Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture. Her work has been featured in the Washington Post, Today Show, and Good Morning America. You can follow her  on social media @theultimatemomchallenge (on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok) or on Substack. Ready for a powerful reset? Dry January is coming, and I'm hosting my biggest 30-day alcohol-free experience starting January 1. You'll get daily support, coaching, and a community that actually understands what you're working toward. Join the waiting list for first access and an exclusive discount. Join the waitlist: nomorewasteddays.co/waitinglist Books Mentioned Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke Referenced for understanding the pain, pleasure, and dopamine balance. Atomic Habits by James Clear Recommended for building new habits and rewiring routines in early alcohol-free life. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace A foundational book that helped Sara shift her beliefs about alcohol. The Addiction Inoculation by Jessica Lahey Recommended by Celeste for understanding how to raise kids in an alcohol-centric culture. Fawning by Dr. Ingrid Clayton Mentioned in your discussion about people-pleasing and emotional patterns. Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker Cited as one of the major books shaping the conversation around women and alcohol. Drink by Ann Dowsett Johnston Referenced for its research on how and why women became the primary target of alcohol marketing. It's Not About the Wine by Celeste Yvonne Central to the episode and the conversation about mommy wine culture and political awakenings.   ****************************************************   Dry January Waiting List If something in this conversation stirred something in you, don't ignore it. Dry January is right around the corner, and this is your chance to start the year clear, grounded, and fully back in your power. My 30 Day Alcohol Free Experience begins January 1, and the women who join this challenge always walk out with more confidence, more energy, and a level of clarity they didn't know they were missing.   Get on the waiting list today so you're the first to know when enrollment opens and you'll unlock an exclusive discount only available to waitlist members. If you're craving a reset or a real change, this is your moment to take it. Join the waitlist: nomorewasteddays.co/waitinglist   ************************************************   Follow the podcast on Social Media: IG: @nomorewasteddays.pod   Follow Sara on Social Media: IG: @no_more_wasted_days TikTok: @no_more_wasted_days Facebook: www.facebook.com/NoMoreWastedDaysOfficial

Practical tools to turn down the volume on fawning.   Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. Her book is FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find our Way Back.   In this episode we talk about: What is fawning, actually  Chronic vs situational fawning The physiological ramifications of fawning How power plays into all of this Ways to get clarity around unseen bruises and wounds that drive your behavior Owning your anger – and how to express it in healthy ways  How to know if you're a fawner  Practical steps to unfawn   Accessible approaches to regulating your nervous system How to set boundaries Fawning and un-fawning in a work context, specifically  And her observation, which I've been thinking about a lot, that wounding happens in relationships… but so does healing   This holiday season, 10% Happier is teaming up with dozens of podcasts for an ambitious goal: to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Join us by visiting GiveDirectly.org/Dan and supporting the #PodsFightPoverty campaign. Related Episodes: How To Regulate Your Nervous System For Stress, Anxiety, And Trauma | Peter Levine How To Handle Your Demons | Richard Schwartz How (and Why) to Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz This Neurobiologist Wants You To Ask One Question To Reframe Anxiety, Depression, And Trauma | Dr. Bruce Perry (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)   Join Dan's online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

So many survivors walk into healing believing they were “codependent,” when the truth is far more compassionate and far more accurate:What you were doing wasn't codependency — it was fawning, a trauma response your nervous system used to keep you safe in an emotionally dangerous environment. In this episode, we break down the difference between fawning and codependency in a way that finally makes sense for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. We explore why these two patterns get confused, how fawning operates as a survival mechanism, and why labeling yourself “codependent” often adds unnecessary shame to an already painful experience. You'll hear real, relatable examples that show what these behaviors look like in everyday life: saying “it's okay” when it isn't, prioritizing someone else's needs over your own, and walking on eggshells. We'll explore each scenario from both angles — the trauma-driven fawn response and the learned relational pattern of codependency — so you can see exactly where the difference lies. If you've ever blamed yourself for being “too accommodating,” “too forgiving,” or “too passive,” this episode will help you shift that lens. You were not weak. You were surviving.And now, you get to learn a new way of being where safety no longer depends on self-abandonment. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Marty Makary says he would support an investigation into Anthony Fauci if pardons are reversed. He explains why people want accountability after COVID, the lack of closure, censorship of vaccine injury data, long-term complications, and why trust cannot be rebuilt without a real review of decisions and outcomes.

In this week's episode of the Seven Figure Consultant Podcast, I talked to Catherine Mattice, the founder/CEO of Civility Partners, an organizational development firm focused on helping organizations create respectful workplace cultures and specializing in turning around toxic cultures. If you left corporate because of a toxic boss or workplace culture, and you're now building your consulting business while still carrying that weight, this episode is for you. Many consultants who transition from corporate are unknowingly shaped by the trauma they experienced, and it shows up in how they price, set boundaries, and show up with clients. In this episode, we unpack what really happens after you leave a toxic environment, why shame keeps so many consultants stuck, and the practical steps you can take to stop letting your former workplace control your new business.   In This Episode:  [00:01:27] Catherine's origin story: From being bullied by a toxic peer in HR to founding Civility Partners and writing four books on workplace culture [00:09:30] The invisible symptoms: How workplace trauma manifests as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and physical illness - even after you've left [00:13:15] Why consultants who experienced toxicity struggle with boundaries, overdeliver, and undercharge with clients [00:17:45] The fawning response: Understanding why you might say yes to everything and how it's keeping you from premium positioning [00:21:30] Taking your power back: Practical advice on therapy, boundary-setting, and rebuilding your relationship with work [00:28:09] The first step to healing: Why acknowledging what happened (without shame) is essential before you can move forward   Key Takeaways:  Workplace trauma doesn't end when you leave. Research shows that prolonged workplace bullying creates symptoms of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and physical illness that persist long after you exit the toxic environment. Your body doesn't automatically know you're safe just because you changed jobs. Fawning is a trauma response - and it's costing you clients. If you experienced a toxic workplace, you may have developed a fawning response (people-pleasing, overdelivering, avoiding conflict). This shows up in your consulting business as underpricing, saying yes to everything, and failing to set boundaries with clients, which undermines your ability to position as a premium strategic advisor. Your consulting business is your chance to do it differently. You have the opportunity to create a business that doesn't mirror the toxic environment you left. This means consciously designing boundaries, workflows, and client relationships that honor your wellbeing - not replicating the overwork and undervaluation you experienced in corporate.   Quotes:  "I think for a lot of people it's hard to sort of admit that their workplace caused so much drama and real trauma for them." - Catherine Mattice "Start changing your self-talk - admit that this happened and that it's not something to be ashamed of. It happens to lots of people. That's why I have a book." - Catherine Mattice "If you don't like what you used to have, don't create a business that mirrors the exact same environment. Aim for more. Know that more is always out there." - Jessica Fearnley   Useful Links Catherine:  CivilityPartners.com Book: Navigating a Toxic Workplace for Dummies Read actionable insights on the Civility Partners blog Jessica: Buy Jessica's book, Too Much, on Amazon Get in touch with Jessica to discuss your consulting business Leave a rating and review for the Seven Figure Consultant Podcast Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn   Guest Bio Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, is the founder/CEO of Civility Partners, an organizational development firm focused on helping organizations create respectful workplace cultures and specializing in turning around toxic cultures. Civility Partners' clients range from Fortune 500's to small businesses across many industries. Catherine is a TEDx speaker and an HR thought-leader who has appeared in such venues as USA Today, Bloomberg, CNN, NPR, and many other national news outlets as an expert. She's an award-winning speaker, author and blogger, and has 50+ courses reaching global audiences on LinkedIn Learning. As a keynote speaker, Catherine's insights have transformed CEO's of multinational companies, leaders of all levels in the US Marines and US Navy, and professionals in companies of all shapes and sizes. Her fourth book Navigating a Toxic Workplace for Dummies (Wiley) is available on Amazon and where all books and audiobooks are sold.

In this highly anticipated Part 2, Lawrence Joss and Dr. Nima Rahmany explore the unconscious dynamics that make relationships feel like a painful dance, especially in the context of family conflict and parental alienation. Dr. Rahmany breaks down the tension between the two core relational fears, abandonment and engulfment, that create the exhausting push-pull pattern in partnerships, and with your children.Key TakeawaysMany of us were born into cultures and societies where we had to choose attachment over our authentic truth.We are conditioned to fawn for safety.Fawning is a performative self abandonment that we do to feel safe.The codependent is the one that fawns, abandoning themselves for attachment.Deep down, every time you fawn, there's a little resentment towards the person you're fawning.People pleasing is a response that can lead to losing one's identity.Clients often express that they don't even know who they are anymore due to people pleasing.Cultural conditioning plays a significant role in shaping our behaviors.Self-abandonment can lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics.Understanding these patterns is crucial for personal growth.Chapters0:00 - Abandonment Meets Engulfment: The Cycle0:25 - Mission, Community, and Parental Alienation Support3:20 - Living the Pain and Grief of Alienation5:10 - Defining The Push-Pull Pattern8:15 - Becoming Trigger-Proof And Repair10:25 - Enmeshment And Boundary Walls 12:07 - Alienation As A Repeating Pattern18:05 - Shadow Work and Owning the Parts We Hide23:35 - Authenticity And Secure Bonds 27:08 - Fawn Response Explained 32:00 - Health Costs Of People-Pleasing 35:02 - Boundaries And Nervous System Safety 38:24 - Breaking Cycles Through Parent Healing 41:28 - The Trigger-Proof Experience Overview If you wish to connect with Lawrence Joss or any of the PA-A community members who have appeared as guests on the podcast:Email - familydisappeared@gmail.comLinktree: https://linktr.ee/lawrencejoss(All links mentioned in the podcast are available in Linktree)Connect with Dr. Nima: https://drnima.com/Please donate to support PAA programs:https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=SDLTX8TBSZNXSsa bottom partThis podcast is made possible by the Family Disappeared Team:Anna Johnson- Editor/Contributor/Activist/Co-hostGlaze Gonzales- Podcast ManagerConnect with Lawrence Joss:Website: https://parentalalienationanonymous.com/Email- familydisappeared@gmail.com

Predators identify trauma survivors in seconds flat just by watching how you walk into a room. A hunched posture, downward eyes, constantly saying "I'm sorry"... This is a neon sign that screams easy target. Fawning and tiptoeing around people's moods tells manipulators exactly what they want to know: you won't fight back. Predators smell that shift in the air and know they can rewrite reality on you. Love bombing feels like the meal you've been starving for your whole life, but it's just intermittent reinforcement working you like a casino slot machine. When chaos registers as normal for you, and calm feels dangerously boring, your threat detection system is backwards. Time to rewire from prey to predator-proof. Resources: WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1: EmotionalBadass.com/coaching 30 Days to Peace Course EmotionalBadass.com/peace THE BI-WEEKLY WELLNESS NEWSLETTER EmotionalBadass.com/newsletter SUPPORT US ON PATREON Patreon.com/emotionalbadass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the common behavior patterns we HSPs can be prone to is people pleasing – or partner pleasing! Interestingly, on the surface people pleasing seems lovely, it can wreak real emotional havoc and really hurt our intimate relationship over time. Today my special guest, Todd Smith, a highly sensitive person and host of the podcast,  Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, and I are going to talk about all about people and partner pleasing: what it looks like, what it leads to (ahem, talk about resentment! And overwhelm!), why we do it, and how it affects us and our marriages. You'll hear examples of how we both have "people pleased” in our own lives and relationships, and client stories, as well.  Then we will offer several ways to break this habit or pattern, and ultimately be TRUE to yourself, more authentic and honest in your marriage, and feel more loved for who you really are.Whether you think you may sometimes fall in to people pleasing, or not, you may be surprised at what you'll learn about yourself and other people in your life as you listen to this fun, important, laughter-filled conversation. You'll come away intrigued by how much opportunity for real loving change can come from leaving this pattern in the past, and clear on how to get started. SHOW NOTES:TODD SMITH: Find Todd's website and free Stress Test HEREListen to his podcast, Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People here.HANNAH BROOKSFREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it's affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage way more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever--WITHOUT PEOPLE PLEASING. Get started by filling out this form. See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

SummaryIn this conversation, Kimberly speaks with Dr. Ingrid Clayton who shares her journey of understanding complex trauma and the Fawn response. After years of therapy and personal work, she reflects on her struggles with self-acceptance and healthy relationships. Through her experiences and education in psychology, she has gained new perspectives that have facilitated her healing process.SPONSORS: LMNT:OFFER: To get THE PUREST, MOST DELICIOUS PLANT-POWERED protein blend, infused with real vanilla and harmonizing adaptogens go to Animamundiherbals.com and use code: KIM20 to get 20% off your purchase! USE LINK: Animamundiherbals.com and use code: KIM20 to get 20% off your purchase! FEEL GOOD PROBIOTICS OFFER: Go to mysolluna.com and use the CODE: PODFAM15 for 15% off your entire order. USE LINK: mysolluna.com CODE: PODFAM15 for 15% off your entire order. Chapters00:00 Understanding the Fawn Response00:35 Signs of Fawning in RelationshipsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this week's Satiated Podcast episode, I chat with Béatriz Victoria Albina, MA, Somatic Master Coach, and author about: What emotional outsourcing isHow it affects physical and mental healthThe impact of codependencyThe journey toward self acceptanceUnderstanding emotionsHow to approach change through gentle regulation and kitten sized stepsYou can also read the transcript to this week's episode ​here​: www.stephaniemara.com/blog/breaking-free-from-emotional-outsourcingThere are 4 days left to sign up for the Somatic Eating® Program! In this 3 month class, we spend 12 weeks together increasing your bodily experience of safety, security, and satiation to decrease patterns of binge eating, chronic emotional eating, yo yo dieting, food compensatory behaviors, and body image struggles. If you have any questions, email support@stephaniemara.com or click the button below to learn more and sign up now. SIGN UP HERE!: https://www.somaticeating.com/#readySee you all next week! With Compassion and Empathy, Stephanie Mara FoxKeep in touch with Béa Albina here: Website: https://beatrizalbina.com/Book Website: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Instagram: @beatrizvictoriaalbinanpFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanpLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beatrizvictoriaalbina/Support the showKeep in touch with Stephanie Mara:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_stephaniemara/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephaniemarafoxWebsite: https://www.stephaniemara.com/https://www.somaticeating.com/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephmara/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stephaniemarafoxContact: support@stephaniemara.comSupport the show:Become a supporter: https://www.buzzsprout.com/809987/supportMy favorite water filter: https://www.pureeffectfilters.com/#a_aid=somaticeatingReceive 15% off my fave protein powder with code STEPHANIEMARA at checkout here: https://www.equipfoods.com/STEPHANIEMARAUse my Amazon Affiliate link when shopping on Amazon: https://amzn.to/448IyPl Special thanks to Bendsound for the music in this episode. ...

Louie and Michael unpack fawning—the hidden trauma response behind people-pleasing, codependency, and emotional safety—in their most vulnerable talk yet. _____ -BetterHelp: If you're struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III _____ Louie and Michael dive into fawning, trauma responses, people-pleasing, and emotional safety. Michael opens up about childhood conditioning, codependency, and realizing how much of his life has been guided by the need to feel safe. The two unpack how emotional immaturity in parents leads to adult people-pleasing, and how learning new therapeutic language can lead to awareness, growth, and healing. A vulnerable, unfiltered conversation about therapy, emotional regulation, recovery, and trauma. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Have you ever said “it's fine” while every part of your body screamed no?That's the implicit yes—the quiet agreement we give when we're too exhausted or afraid to disappoint. It's what happens when our nervous system learns that safety depends on keeping everyone else comfortable.In this episode, I unpack the subtle ways high-achieving, heart-centered women abandon themselves through fawning, over-explaining, and chronic guilt. You'll learn:

In this powerful interview, Rebecca Zung and Dr. Ingrid Clayton expose the hidden trauma response known as fawning—the disease to please. Learn how people-pleasing, codependency, and boundary collapse are actually survival responses to deep relational trauma. Discover how to heal, set boundaries, and reclaim your authentic power from narcissists and toxic dynamics. What you'll learn: The fawn response — the hidden fourth trauma response beyond fight, flight, and freeze. How fawning develops in childhood as a survival mechanism in unsafe or abusive environments. Why people-pleasers and codependents aren't weak — they're trauma survivors seeking safety. How narcissists exploit fawners through guilt, obligation, and fear of abandonment. The connection between fawning, complex PTSD (CPTSD), and chronic relationship patterns. Practical healing tools from somatic therapy and self-regulation to rebuild inner safety. How to identify trauma reenactment and stop attracting narcissistic or manipulative partners. Why setting boundaries and “taking up space” is not mean — it's healthy and necessary. Steps to transform from appeasement and fear into authentic self-worth and empowerment. About the guests: Rebecca Zung – Top 1% attorney turned narcissism negotiation expert, author of SLAY the Bully, and creator of the SLAY method for reclaiming power in toxic relationships. Dr. Ingrid Clayton – Clinical psychologist, trauma specialist, and author of Believing Me, who brings deep insight into fawning, CPTSD, and somatic healing. Watch if you're: Recovering from narcissistic abuse, codependency, or people-pleasing. Tired of always apologizing or walking on eggshells. Ready to take your power back and stop living for others' approval.

In this A Little Bit Extra ep, Sarah dishes all about her recent trip to New York City—think walks on The High Line, big shroom feels, and some serious kitchen magic courtesy of Sarma Melngailis. What happens when two culty survivors share homemade meals and chat about upcoming guest Dr. Ingrid Clayton's Fawning? You get a new club: “Fawn Stars”—and Sarah is a founding member.We also break down the latest courtroom jaw-dropper (yep, the Diddy sentence), spill on where we're at with our forthcoming book, and it's open mic time for listener voicemails—expect spicy takes, cathartic rants, and a few hearty laughs on the side. It's real talk, big updates, and that signature ALBC flavor you know and love.Also…let it be known that:The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody's mad at you, just don't be a culty fuckwad.**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book hereCheck out our amazing sponsorsJoin A Little Bit Culty on PatreonGet poppin' fresh ALBC SwagSupport the pod and smash this linkCheck out our cult awareness and recovery resourcesWatch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, ScarredCREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony AmesProduction Partner: Citizens of SoundCo-Creator: Jess TardyAudio production: Will RetherfordProduction Coordinator: Lesli DinsmoreWriter: Sandra NomotoSocial media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke KeaneTheme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel AsselinSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Phil and psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton uncover the hidden trauma response that drives people-pleasing and how to stop abandoning yourself to feel safe.   Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves — and How to Find Our Way Back. Drawing from her own journey through narcissistic abuse and decades of clinical work, Dr. Clayton reveals how chronic people-pleasing is not a personality flaw, it's a survival strategy wired into the nervous system. Together, they unpack why fawning is often rewarded, how it hides in relationships and workplaces, and what it takes to reclaim your voice and your boundaries. Featured in Oprah Daily, Psychology Today, and Women's Health, Dr. Clayton's message is both a warning and a roadmap: healing begins when you stop apologizing for existing. This episode is brought to you by Greenlight: Raise financially smart kids. Start your risk-free trial today! Visit https://Greenlight.com/phil  More About Dr. Clayton: Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ingridclaytonphd FB: https://www.facebook.com/IngridClaytonPhD YT: https://www.youtube.com/@IngridClaytonPhD/ The Dr. Phil Podcast | Subscribe | Rate | Share: YouTube: https://bit.ly/3H3lJ8n Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3W76ihW Spotify: https://spoti.fi/44IhdWV Website: https://www.drphilpodcasts.com #DrPhilPodcast #DrPhil #IngridClayton #Fawning #TraumaHealing #PeoplePleasing #ComplexTrauma #MentalHealthAwareness #Boundaries #EmotionalRecovery #NervousSystemHealing #CPTSD #SelfWorth #PsychologyToday #OprahDaily #WomenEmpowerment

We've all heard of “fight, flight, freeze,” but there's a fourth survival instinct that's harder to spot. “Fawning” can look like people-pleasing, and it's often applauded in society. But over time, it can wear down your ability to feel safe when someone close to you feels unhappy, disappointed or upset. And it can lead to overly focusing on what other people think, instead of being in-tune with yourself.  So how do you know when you're fawning? Today's guest, psychotherapist Meg Josephson suggests asking yourself, “Am I abandoning myself to keep the peace?” In her conversation with Leah, Meg explains where the fawn response comes from, how it can impact your relationships and day-to-day life, and solutions for how to deal with it in different contexts.  Order Meg's book Are You Mad at Me? How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You here.  Follow Leah Smart and Meg Josephson on LinkedIn. 

In this episode of the Abundance Hack Podcast, I share how my nervous system found deeper regulation when I started distancing myself from ambivalent relationships and connections. When you're in connections where you have to walk on eggshells, shrink yourself, or perform just to feel safe, your body lives in fight, flight, freeze, or more often, fawn. Fawning is when we shrink, shift, and appease to be liked, accepted or to avoid rejection. I'll share my personal journey of realizing how these dynamics kept me in hypervigilance, how I learned to recognize ambivalence in relationships (when words and actions don't align, or when “support” feels condescending or competitive), and how choosing distance created space for my intuition, authenticity, and nervous system healing. You'll also hear why inner work alone isn't enough if you're still in environments that keep you on edge, and how grounding relationships, the ones where you can be fully yourself, messy and all, are essential for nervous system safety and true abundance. Mentions in the episode-  •Inner Alarm Podcast Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/1gqQbQr3V76fbMuJzdi73w?si=ChpZltQrT-G4UDRmnosLgQ •Inner Circle Journal Prompts Want to go deeper? Inside the Healthy Love Healing App, you'll find Inner Circle Journal Prompts designed to help you get intentional about who you surround yourself with and where you invest your time and energy. The people closest to us shape our future. Download the app, enroll in the EMPOWER membership, and look for the section called Inner Circle to start aligning with connections that feel safe, supported, and authentic. Follow me on Instagram @Niajae https://www.instagram.com/niajae/  

On the surface, you may look like the model employee, partner, or friend: always dependable, always agreeable. But beneath the surface, you may be carrying a lifetime of survival strategies that keep you invisible in your own life. This is the story Dr. Ingrid Clayton knows both personally and professionally, and it's the story she helps so many of us begin to rewrite. Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with advanced degrees in transpersonal and clinical psychology. She has maintained a thriving private practice for more than fifteen years and writes the popular Psychology Today blog, Emotional Sobriety, which has been read by over a million people. Her latest book, FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back, unpacks the subtle but profound ways we abandon ourselves by prioritizing others' approval. In our conversation, Ingrid reflects on her own experience as a childhood trauma survivor and how it revealed the fawning response: the instinct to please and appease in order to stay safe. Unlike fight, flight, or freeze, fawning resembles caretaking, compliance, and endless yeses, but it often leaves us feeling resentful and disconnected from our own needs. She explains how this adaptation becomes ingrained in the nervous system, how it shapes our relationships and careers, and why breaking the cycle can feel like stepping into the firing line. Yet within that discomfort lies the path to healing. Ingrid offers tangible practices for reclaiming your agency: pausing before you agree, noticing where resentment signals self-abandonment, and daring to let your voice be heard even when it shakes. Listen in to discover how to stop surviving on others' terms and begin living on your own!   Key Highlights From This Episode: An introduction to Dr. Ingrid Clayton and her new book on fawning. [02:17] Ingrid's personal story of childhood trauma and survival. [04:40] Defining the fawning response and how it differs from fight, flight, or freeze. [06:19] The spectrum of trauma responses and how conditioning reinforces fawning. [12:16] Signs of an ongoing fawning trauma response and why conflict feels unsafe. [15:02] How fawning embeds in the nervous system and what it takes to heal. [19:59] What happens in the body during the fawning trauma response. [22:22] Fawning behaviors and skills, where they originate, and why they're so common. [26:43] Practical grounding tools to restore safety through your body, senses, and curiosity. [32:05] How to get in touch with a psychologist in your area and find Dr. Clayton online. [37:50] For More Information: Dr. Ingrid Clayton Dr. Ingrid Clayton on Instagram Dr. Ingrid Clayton on Facebook Dr. Ingrid Clayton on YouTube Dr. Ingrid Clayton on TikTok   Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Check out Dr. Ingrid Clayton's new book FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back, and her Emotional Sobriety blog. Explore Dr. Clayton's other titles, Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma, and Recovering Spirituality: Achieving Emotional Sobriety in Your Spiritual Practice. Listen to Kathy's interview with Andre Sólo, Being Highly Sensitive Is a Superpower — Embrace and Leverage it. Read more about trauma and the nervous system in The Body Keeps the Score. Find a psychologist in your area with Psychology Today's nationwide directory   ——————— Join Kathy starting October 15, 2025, in her brand new monthly “The Most Powerful You” Group Coaching Program! Over the years, many graduates of my courses and readers of my books and articles, and other professionals have told me: “I wish there were a way to keep my momentum going — with supportive guidance, community, and accountability all year long.”   This program is the answer to that wish. Beginning October 15th, 2025, you'll meet monthly online in a small, global group for 12 months of live 60-minute coaching calls where you'll: Celebrate wins and breakthroughs Bring real-life challenges for direct support and guidance Revisit and apply core success and growth principles from my courses, articles, and 500+ interviews with top experts Learn from peers, insights, and encouragement Sort through key decisions in front of you Leave with clear, actionable steps to move you forward fast in your life and career You'll also get: A private Facebook group for ongoing support Call recordings if you miss a session Exclusive perks (with upfront payment), including additional curated resources, free access to Kathy Caprino AI, LinkedIn support, and two private coaching calls with me This is a space for professionals who are ready to grow their confidence, impact, and fulfillment — with consistent and uplifting support all year long.

If you have ever found yourself dealing with a threatening person, and instead of fleeing them, you flattered – that's called fawning. Psychologist Ingrid Clayton on the psychology behind this self-preservation strategy.

Whitney Goodman interviews Dr. Ingrid Clayton about her new book "Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back." They explore fawning as the fourth trauma response, how it differs from people-pleasing and codependency, why children and marginalized people develop this survival strategy, and how it can masquerade as success while leading to complete self-abandonment. Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves-and How to Find Our Way Backhttps://www.ingridclayton.com/ Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute  for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Dr. Clayton's Discovery of Fawning Through Her Own Trauma 04:26 Why Fawning Isn't About Shame - It's About Survival 09:00 How to Recognize Fawning in Your Own Life 12:16 The Connection Between Fawning and Family Estrangement 19:49 Fawning vs. People-Pleasing vs. Codependency 22:13 When Fawning Looks Like Success 27:46 Growing Out of the Fawning Response Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We've all heard of fight, flight, and freeze, but what about the fourth F of trauma responses? It's called fawning and we have Dr. Ingrid Clayon join us to discuss what it looks like (leaning in even when you're uncomfortable, needing to please), why we fawn in childhood, relationships, the workplace, etc., and how to break these patterns. We discuss how fawning compares and contrasts to people pleasing, and how fawners have trouble finding healthy relationships, saying no, recognizing their own anxiety, and being honest in therapy. And Ingrid offers advice for getting curious about the trauma responses that could be holding you back, recognizing and not sabotaging healthy partners, and speaking up when you don't like something. Before Ingrid joins us, we have a SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT, Ashley gives a family/health update, and Rayna is making new friends. Enjoy!  Follow Ingrid on Instagram at @ingridclaytonphd and get her book Fawning. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Function: Our first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit toward your membership at https://functionhealth.com/gge or use code GGE100. Smart Mouth: Get a special discount on your next SmartMouth purchase at www.smartmouth.com/gge. ZBiotics: Get 15% off your first order at https://zbiotics.com/gge with code GGE. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://rocketmoney.com/gge. Saks Fifth Avenue: Head to Saks Fifth Avenue or saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style. AG1: Get a free frother with your first purchase of AGZ at https://drinkagi.com/gge.

If you've ever felt like you're the one who keeps the peace, says yes to everything, earns the gold stars, and never wants to disappoint anyone—even when it means abandoning yourself—this episode is for you. There's a name for that pattern, and it's not “being nice” or “just how you are.” It's called fawning. Fawning is a trauma response—right alongside fight, flight, or freeze—where you people-please, appease, or perform to keep yourself safe in relationships. It's the “please and appease” reflex: managing the emotions and needs of everyone around you to avoid conflict, rejection, or harm. And for so many high-achieving women, it can look like success… while quietly draining your mental health, your self-trust, and your sense of who you really are. I asked Dr. Ingrid Clayton, psychologist and author of the new book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, to share how to recognize the fawning trauma response, why high-achieving women are especially vulnerable to it, and practical tools to help you set boundaries, manage anxiety, and reconnect with yourself—without numbing out with alcohol. For the full shownotes, kindly go to this podcast episode link: https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/are-you-being-nice-or-stuck-in-the-fawning-trauma-response/ 4 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking  — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Love The Podcast and Want To Say Thanks? ☕ Buy me a coffee! In the true spirit of Seattle, coffee is my love language. So if you want to support the hours that go into creating this show each week, click this link to buy me a coffee and I'll run to the nearest Starbucks + lift a Venti Almond Milk Latte and toast to you! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hellosomeday 

We all have a primary pattern of dealing with relational conflict. There are a scant few, in my experience, who do it with health and peace. The rest tend to fall into what psychologists have labeled, Fight, Flight, or Freeze tendencies. I'm not a fighter, and viewed myself as generally freezing in the moment of conflict, masked by thinking I was just being cool and calm, waiting for it to just end so I could take flight and remove myself. I thought I was valiant for my lack of fighting. Righteous and unshakable. And I thought I was protecting everyone, myself included. I did whatever it took to, choose your word: appease, placate, tolerate, or put up with. What I realize now is I was just being dishonest to myself and everyone, and while I thought I was being strong, I now view it as being incredibly weak. Again, dishonest. And what was really happening is I grew bitter and was slowly building walls with each brick of appeasing. The new term for this and what I now relate to, is Fawning. And this is the podcast today. I sat down with Dr. Ingrid Clayton who is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology.  She's had a thriving private practice for more than sixteen years and is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, where her blog “Emotional Sobriety” has had more than a million views. She has now come out with the first ever, commercial book on this concept of fawning, it's titled, FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find our Way Back. Fawning is a hallmark of codependency, and often occurs when we can't fight or flee because we have to remain in relationship with the person or situation we are struggling with. It is highly relevant to why we stay in bad jobs, fall into unhealthy partnerships, and tolerate dysfunctional environments, even when it seems obvious to others we should go or take drastic steps to try and correct things. Ingrid says fawning can serve a purpose as an emergency adaptive strategy that protects us from losing connection with people we depend on, but it becomes a real problem when it turns from the emergency coping mechanism to compulsory in our day to day lives. The good news of course is we can break the pattern of chronic fawning once we see the trauma response for what it is. I was incredibly excited to talk with Ingrid and this conversation proved invaluable for me. I hope it will be for you as well, as my feeling is that most of us suffer from aspects of fawning in certain relationships and circumstances in our lives. Connect with Ingrid on IG @ingridclaytonphd and find the new book Fawning that is hitting bookstores now. Coming up next, my conversation with Dr Ingrid Clayton on the pervasiveness of Fawning and how to get out of this insidious trauma response. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever heard the reference to, "a seat at the table"? As in, "everyone deserves a seat at the table"? Camille and Luis riff on how they feel about "the table". They. Don't. Need. Your. Table. Luis wasn't allowed into spaces to spread his work because of how he looked, so he built his own HLN-shaped table. If we are constantly searching for a table to belong to we are always in a co-dependent state (that most of us were modeled as children). Fawning and controlling might get us a temporary seat, but at what cost to our nervous systems? Co-regulation through connection leads to truly belonging to oneself, not needing the proverbial table. When we truly belong to ourselves we can relate to others as they are, rather than as we want or expect them to be. We can love people and not have to (co-dependently) need them. Healthy relationships are made of clear communication, boundaries, desires, and preferences. From that place of clarity we can choose what part of ourselves we want to make decisions from.Even if you can't feel it yet, you exist, and therefore you belong. You can find the podcasts Luis mentioned in the episode here:[Ep. 49] The Spiritual & Somatic Practice of Decolonizing Ourselves | Dr. Amber McZeal [Ep. 271] Live Seasonally: Prevent Burnout w/ Camille LeakInto Healing with Mira KaddouraYou can register for the FREE Food Therapy session here: https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/events/food-therapy-supporting-adhd-with-nutrition Sign up for our 6-month Embodied Relationships group, beginning in October: https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/relationship-group You can read more about, and register for, the live 7-week foundational course here: https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/course----You can learn more on the website: https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/ Learn more about the self-led course here: https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/self-led-new Join the waitlist to pre-order Luis' book here: https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/the-book You can follow Luis on Instagram @holistic.life.navigationQuestions? You can email us at info@holisticlifenavigation.com