Podcasts about as neil

Neal Crabtree was a worker on the Keystone XL pipeline until Joe Biden shut it down because it "Harms the ecosystems" even though the pipeline is a cleaner and safer alternative to bring oil into the country. As Neil says in this episode "Let Us Work!" you can find out more about the show by going to www.jeremycummings.com or by following on social media @CummingsCulture 

Foreclosure litigants need to return to First Principles in the Coming year 2021. What better way than to see Neil's latest Blog post explaining how even admitting you have a mortgage loan when it is securitized, particularly from the mortgage meltdown years from roughly 15 years ago to several years ago, is self-defeating, in that the truth is that there is no identifiable lender, borrower, payor, or payee, in the true and meaningful manner those terms are properly used. As Neil explains, the money which arrives at the closing table of these securitized mortgage loans, is not even a loan, in that 1., no loan is sold, 2., nobody records a purchase of a loan obligation, and 3., nobody maintains any account receivable. Bill Paatalo will delve into how this works in the real world/legal world by going over an article exposing how in MERS related loans, a 'borrower' who thinks he has discharged a 'debt' by 'paying it off' may in fact have done no such thing. Join the Show to get the breakdown on this analysis. Finally, we will touch on in today's Show the latest developments with the foreclosure moratorium and the contiuing Covid-19 crisis.

Everything you think you know about the “Our Father” or “Lord’s Prayer” goes up in smoke as Dr Neil Douglas-Klotz guides us into the sound and meaning of the prayer in Aramaic. From the get-go, it’s a shock. Our father? Maybe not! Whether you have loved this prayer or avoided it like a plague of patriarchy, you are in for a sweet surprise. As Neil extracts the prayer from 2,000 years of mistranslation, you just might find yourself falling in love. Join our community and get your free gift at janetconner.com/24.

This time the boys enter the fiery gates of hell... As Neil tries a Vindaloo curry for the first time!Discussion includes canal boat holidays, Jon's recent loneliness, flatulence, phallus's, spicy food, and Nando's... as well Neil's sensitive mouth and tips for mouth care! All this and more inside...How will they fare? Will Neil survive? Will he feel confident and want to move up to the Phaal? Download and listen to find out.Hit us up with any feedback: Firsttimetriers@hotmail.comFollow on Instagram: @FirstTimeTriersAnd on Twitter: @FirstTimeTriersBig thanks to Espio for providing music for the pod too! Check them out on Spotify.Also please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE! See you next time

This week I am in conversation with Primary research and evidence guru Neil Almond . Neil has been on a journey of discovery , from incorporating research into his own teaching through to presenting at rED events . We discuss this journey and the challenges of incorporating evidence into the primary curriculum. As Neil describes on his blog: "I’m starting my 5th year of teaching and those years have lead to varying degrees of success and lessons that I needed to learn. It’s only in the last 6 to 9 months that I feel that I am actually getting somewhere with it and now my interest in educational research and edu-twitter are turning things that I thought I knew around. The picture is poignant to the profession as a whole. We need to carefully tread the path, often not knowing where the path ends, what twist/turns/obstacles we will encounter on the way or what educational gale force wind will try to blow us off. These are my ramblings as I try to navigate this path. I will not claim that I have answers to anything, or that what I am suggesting will work for you, in your context. These are my ramblings; they will focus on three key areas: teaching and learning, educational research and curriculum. If these ramblings help you navigate your path, then that is a fantastic bonus for me. I hope you enjoy…" Neil's blog site https://nutsaboutteaching.wordpress.com/ Teacher Development Trust Section David Weston, CEO of the TDT kicks off this weeks show out on location again in sunny Blackpool. This week , he is interviewing St George's Lead Practitioner Bea Tingey . Bea describes how St George's recent success in outcomes for pupils has been driven by a culture of professional learning . Bea talks about that culture and how it has been developed and the logistics of planning out CPD . Many people have visited St George's recently to see this in action and I know this is something they welcome , so get in touch with Bea here: https://twitter.com/Tingemeister Podcast pedagogy I am very happy to have received contributions for this feature so this will be returning next week. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/naylorsnatter/message

Just how free are we to walk around our cities and countryside? Who owns our parks and public spaces and who makes the decision what you can and can’t do in them and when they can be closed for ticketed events? What can you do to make sure our green spaces stay open and accessible to all? These are all questions I asked Neil Sinden, the Director of the London branch of the CPRE (Campaign for Rural England). I’d seen mention of the Urban Right to Roam, which piqued my interest and made me wonder about how much freedom we do have to roam across our cities and indeed our countryside. I had always assumed we had inalienable rights across public land but it seems it’s not as clear cut as I thought.  As Neil mentions in the interview, 2.6million people in the UK live more than a 10 minute walk from a green space. That’s hugely important as our country becomes more urbanised and it’s important if, for you, your local green space is your only garden.   We talk about: The CPRE and why it’s needed, even in towns and large cities like London   The Urban Right to Roam Rights of Way Privately owned public spaces Protecting and improving our green spaces   Links  www.cprelondon.org.uk   www.lfgn.org.uk Go Parks London How to register an unrecorded Historic Right of Way  Blog post by Groundsure about the implications for our Historic Rights of Way of a 2026 deadline to register them by.    Get in touch; Email podcast@rootsandall.co.uk  Website www.rootsandall.co.uk  Twitter @rootsandall Instagram rootsandallpod Facebook @rootsandalluk   Patreon Link; Help us keep the podcast free & independent! Donate as much or as little as you like at https://www.patreon.com/rootsandall 

There are ways to communicate that keep you stuck, or that make things worse - and there are ways to communicate that foster the healthy development of your relationship. So how do you avoid the pitfalls, and reconnect with each other in spite of your differences? Or even in appreciation of your differences? In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. They are co-founders of The Couples Institute, one of the leading centers for training couples therapists and helping people find practical solutions to relationship issues. Their book “Tell Me No Lies” describes how to create a culture of honesty in your relationship (and why that’s so important) - while their work on the Developmental Model of relationships gives deep insight into why we do what we do. Today we’ll get theoretical, we’ll get practical, and you’ll walk away with some new ways to communicate about challenging topics in ways that encourage the healthy development of your relationship. Visit neilsattin.com/institute to join their free “What do you do when” 4-part series! If you’re curious to hear our first episode together, about shaping a culture of honesty in your relationship, you can also check out Episode 24 of Relationship Alive - Why We Lie and How to Get Back to the Truth And you can listen to our second episode together, which was about Relationship Development and getting unstuck in your relationship, if you click here. Meanwhile - come see Relationship Alive - LIVE! with John and Julie Gottman, on October 12th in Portland Maine. You have the chance to ask us *your* questions - and get answers. Visit neilsattin.com/liveshow for more information. And as always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Beautiful jewelry, exquisite craftsmanship, sustainable sources, and affordable prices. Get $75 OFF your purchase at hellonoemie.com when you use the coupon code "ALIVE". With free overnight shipping and free returns, you can see something online today, and try it on tomorrow risk free. This episode is also sponsored by Native Deodorant. Their products are filled with ingredients you can find in nature like coconut oil, which is an antimicrobial, shea butter to moisturize, and tapioca starch to absorb wetness. They don’t ever test on animals, they don’t use aluminum or any other scary chemical ingredients, and they’re so confident that you’ll like their deodorant that they offer free shipping - and returns. For 20% off your first purchase, visit http://www.nativedeodorant.com/alive and use promo code ALIVE during checkout. Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you. Resources: To join Ellyn and Pete’s free “What do I do when” series, follow this link here. Visit The Couples Institute website to learn more about Ellyn and Pete’s work with couples, and with helping therapists help couples. FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE) Visit www.neilsattin.com/development2 to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Jeff Brown. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. On today's show we are going to have a return visit from some of my favorite guests; Pete Pearson and Ellyn Bader. They are here to dive even more deeply into the developmental model for relationships and why it is so important for you to understand where you're at in terms of your development, both as an individual, but definitely as a couple, and also to talk about a new series that they're offering for therapists that will be great for you if you're a therapist in terms of boosting the way that you work with couples in your practice. Neil Sattin: We're going to talk more about that, but I know that they elicited feedback from their audience of therapists about some of the toughest issues that they deal with, in sessions with couples and they put together a free series around that. So we're going to talk about that and we're going to ask them some questions about how to know where you are in the developmental status of your relationship and we're also going to give you a very valuable way to structure how you communicate with your partner around a sensitive topic, something that we haven't covered in quite this way on the show before. Ellyn and Pete have both been here before. If you want to listen to their episode about lying in relationships and how to cultivate a culture of honesty you can visit neilsattin.com/lies. Neil Sattin: If you want to hear more about the developmental model, you can visit neilsattin.com/development. Those are the two episodes that they were on prior to today. And if you want to download a transcript of today's episode, then visit neilsattin.com/... Let's see, what should we call this one? Let's call it development2. I know that was really tricky. So, you can visit neilsattin.com/development2, the number two, and that will take you to this episode where you can download a transcript or you can always text the word Passion to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. That is it for this moment. So let's dive into the conversation with Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson. Thank you so much for being here with us today. Ellyn Bader: You're welcome, it's always fun to talk to you Neil. Peter Pearson: It's good being here Neil, thank you. Neil Sattin: Yes, and I should know this by now, but Pete, is it okay to call you Pete? Should I be calling you Peter or should I be calling you... Peter Pearson: Pete is fine. Neil Sattin: Okay, great, Petey... So let's start with just this... I want to give a quick overview of what we mean by the developmental model. If people really want the nitty gritty, then you can go back and listen to the first episode, but just so... Just to give us some context, the two-minute elevator pitch, that's a really long elevator ride if you've ever been in an elevator for two minutes. But anyway let's start there. Ellyn Bader: Sure. So we look at relationships, and healthy relationships as going through a series or potentially going through a series of developmental stages and I'm going to give you the really short-hand version of it. But people will meet ideally often they fall in love, they have what I call a temporary psychosis, where they just focus on each other and the grass is green, and the sky is blue, everything is wonderful. And I know all relationships don't start out that way, but many, many do, and others start out more gradually. But the developmental task of that first stage is putting a boundary around the two of us as a couple and making the decision to be a couple, whatever that means to the two of them, but it's a commitment to that relationship. Ellyn Bader: And then after people are together for a while and we see this happening, generally anywhere from about six months to two years, the partner gets taken off of that magical wonderful pedestal, and people start to see their differences, and that's a good thing, that's a healthy thing, it's not a bad thing. Many couples get scared when this happens, but it's inevitable that you're going to see more aspects of the other person. I use a disco ball in my office when I'm talking about it with couples because all those mirrors on the ball represent different facets of ourselves and those facets get shown to each other over time. And so this is a stage of differentiation, it's a stage where differences arise and the task is to learn how to be open, and authentic with each other about what you think, what you feel, what you desire and to be able to hold still while your partner does the same thing, and then to learn how to manage those differences successfully. And so there's... That's a short version. We can go into a lot more detail but basically there's a lot that's going on in terms of the personal growth of each partner during that stage. Neil Sattin: Yeah, so this actually brings up a question for me around this process of differentiation because I think that in that psychosis that you mentioned that often a lot of partners they start making agreements or presenting ways of being that maybe, when it comes right down to it, aren't truly authentic to who they are. They do a lot of compromising, for the sake of the relationship. And then when they come back around to this process of differentiation, there's this sense of coming into integrity with each other and with themselves around what they really want. What are the ways that they signed up for the relationship that actually haven't been working for them? So I'm wondering how common it is for you to see people going through healthy differentiation really getting clear on who they are, on what their authentic truth is, and then looking at the person that they're with and saying, "Wow, I'm actually not sure that we're meant to be together, now that I'm differentiated, now that I'm not in the psychosis, wow there are these things that maybe are... Represent ways that we're not compatible." How do people frame that? Yeah, go ahead. Ellyn Bader: Well of course, that happens, and ideally, probably that happens a ton when you think about people who date and they get really excited about each other and then a few months later they realize, "Oh well, this is not really the relationship for me." Neil Sattin: Right? Ellyn Bader: So there's some of that going on there, it's much... Peter Pearson: Sometimes I will ask a couple because they are challenged when they come into the office and they talk about all the differences that they have and the problems those differences create, I will ask them, I say, "Hey would you like to be married to a personality clone of yourself where all of the differences just magically disappear?" The vast, vast majority of people say, "Actually no, I would not want to be married to a personality clone." And one person said, "I would have all my problems times two. I don't think I want that. Neil Sattin: Yeah, so there is first recognizing the value in the difference, but I'm wondering within there is something about learning how to love another person in the way that they're different from you and to feel like in the ways that it jars you that it maybe isn't in total alignment with what you would want, or who you are as a person, but there's some way to navigate that that's healthy, versus just kind of exploding it into, "Well, I guess we're just not meant to be together." Ellyn Bader: Right, I mean the challenge you mentioned what goes on when people are developing a... What I call emotional muscle or a stronger backbone where they can hold on to their authentic selves, but it also means being able to do what we call other differentiation. It's what enables you to learn more deeply about your partner, be more giving at times when it isn't convenient. But it's not compromising core aspects of yourself. And that's why some couples especially in the differentiation stage, but even later, too, will have a really tough conflict to handle and deal with and some people will want to run and flee really quickly instead of hanging in there and learning how to stay open to yourself and to somebody else, which is something that most of us have never learned or never been in relationships that are interdependent and require you to be open and giving at the same time. Peter Pearson: Actually Neil, there's two examples of this. One is couples will often say, "Well, we don't want to argue in front of the kids, we should have a united front." And the downside... I can understand their intention behind that but the downside is, the kids then do not see how their parents disagree and work it out in front of them and that is such a priceless gift when parents finally get it, "Oh, we can disagree not only in front of the kids, but they can watch how we come to a resolution on that." And boy, if that's not a priceless gift. The other one is just in our relationship, Ellyn between the two of us, Ellyn is a lot more organized. She likes more consistency going through life and I can get a life-changing idea every time I take a shower. Now what could possibly go wrong with that system? Ellyn Bader: Yes so we have to... We've had to learn how to navigate our differences, for sure. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I wish you could see the look that Ellyn gave Pete when he started talking about this. Peter Pearson: But see, here's the key, when somebody has differences is if I have to tone down my life changing ideas, am I compromising a set of values in me? And the answer is really no, it's more like a series of interests, what I'm drawn to, but it's not... I don't organize my life around creativity much more expensive visionary thinking, etcetera. It's an interest, it's a concern, but it's not a core value, which then makes it easy there to create adjustments when there are differences. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I'm wondering if you have any hints on in a circumstance like that, how could I as the person who's thinking like, "Wow, I wonder what Pete's going to say the next time he comes out of the shower." Ellyn Bader: Well, what I... I'll answer that 'cause what I had to learn was how to give him positive recognition for great ideas and still say to him, "Focus Pete, stay focused." Peter Pearson: And then, I had to learn how to hear Ellyn telling me to focus without feeling like I was being controlled. And I also had to learn that when I have a new idea, I will say to Ellyn, "Now wait a minute, this is just a brain storm idea." So if I go to Ellyn and I say, "What do you think about moving to Australia? 'cause I just saw a National Geographic special on Australia." And I say, "Now wait three days from now, I'm not going to want to move there, but let's just talk about it. It might be interesting." Neil Sattin: Yeah, so Ellyn, for you in this... How do you... It feels a little challenging as an example, because it seems obvious how this doesn't conflict with your core values but I'm curious to know how would one sit in a moment of tension and decide, "Is this about my core values?" And that could be true for either person, right, or, "Is this more about something that can be adjusted or worked around?" Ellyn Bader: Well, let me say that I think... First of all, that sometimes people jump to that question that you just put out too fast. It's like the more that I am sure that I won't compromise on core core values, the more open I can be to any of Pete's ideas because I know I'm not going to get completely caught up and swayed and go down certain paths that I don't want to go down. So the ability to really explore the other person's world and the other person's reality, is dependent on how centered somebody is themselves or how differentiated they are themselves. Ellyn Bader: I mean core values tend to be things like, "I don't believe in hitting kids or I'm not going to discipline my children by hitting them," whereas somebody might say, "Well, for me it's fine, to spank, and whatever," those kinds of things you're not going to get a compromise on. Religion is one that very often, you're not going to get a compromise on but there are so many things that people think. One other quick example I had a couple that I was working with, where he desperately wanted to live on this beautiful island, off the East Coast where they built an incredibly unbelievable place that they lived and she wanted to live in California where she had lived before and they were at a stand-off for probably 13 or 14 months about where they were going to live. Ellyn Bader: But I kept saying to them, "We're going to stick with this and find out what matters to each of you so much about each of these places and that there is a solution. I have no idea what it is. You have no idea what it is, but there are core values that are embedded in this that matter to each of you a lot, and that's what we need to uncover to make a good decision," and it's that ability to live in the uncertainty that's so hard that leaves people to quickly get divorced or give up or throw their hands up in despair. Neil Sattin: Yeah, yeah, and so I'm hearing in there like a really valuable question such as what is it about this thing that really matters to you that might help people unearth the values embedded in something like a choice like where to live. Ellyn Bader: Yeah that's the agreement. Peter Pearson: That's right Neil and when you say, "What are the values of that and often there are multiple nuanced layers to that question, but people want to rush to the answer because it creates anxiety or tension to live in that pressure so they want to hurry up and rush to it but there are a lot of nuanced layers to that question, about why something really matters to me. Neil Sattin: Yeah, yeah, awesome. And so that leads me to something that we had chatted about maybe sharing with our audience which is a tool that you use as therapists and it's also a tool for people in relationship around how to communicate around a particularly challenging thing that involves these prescribed roles. The initiator and the inquirer. And I'm wondering if we could just take a few minutes to describe that process, which seems like it would be so powerful for people having that exploration with each other. Ellyn Bader: I'd be glad to... I'd like to frame it first by saying that the most common problem that couples come to therapy with is the problem of saying, "We can't communicate, we have a communication struggle or a communication issue." Neil Sattin: Great. Ellyn Bader: As a therapist, I know that it's not just a simple behavioral change that's going to make them be able to communicate more effectively. And so, the reason Pete and I developed the initiator inquirer process is it is designed purposely to do two things. One is to help communication but the other thing is it does help people develop new capacities, new abilities in themselves that they didn't have before that make them a better communicator. Neil Sattin: Got it, right, it requires you to be more differentiated in order to even engage in the process. Ellyn Bader: To engage effectively, yeah. Peter Pearson: Yeah, in that sense, it goes way beyond just a technique or a tool to talk about things. Neil Sattin: Great. Ellyn Bader: So basically we teach couples two very different roles and when you say... When kids go to kindergarten you learn to take turns, but as adults, when we have stresses, or problems we don't take turns we're both like hammering at each other. And so we divide it up into one person is the initiator and the other person is the inquirer. And the role of the initiator is to bring up one issue and only one issue at a time, and to say what they desire, to say what they feel when they bring it up, and to avoid name-calling, to avoid blame, to any negativity. And then the most important part of that role is to be open to learning more about yourself by the time you're finished talking than when you started. Peter Pearson: Now that's pretty unusual. If I have a conflict with you, I'm not interested in learning more about myself. Ellyn Bader: That explains why it is hard for you to be an initiator for a while. Peter Pearson: Or an inquirer. Ellyn Bader: Yeah, as Pete just said, it's not easy for people who... 'cause it's more natural to just blame and want the other person to change and not be open to learning about yourself. So that's the initiating role, the inquiring role is the role for the listening partner. And when I'm teaching this to a couple, I'll say there are real challenges in this role. The first thing you gotta do is listen, and that means you're actively listening to understand, you're not listening but all the time you're thinking about how you're going to prove your point. So you listen. We teach people to be curious rather than furious. Ellyn Bader: So you ask questions and the questions are designed to have a... Like if I'm asking Pete it's to get a deeper understanding of what he's communicating to me. The third piece, which is really hard but is to respond with empathy and to be able to stay with empathy until you get what we call a soothing moment or that moment of connection and contact where Pete feels like I really get him or I get what he's communicating to me and I've let it impact me 'cause I can be empathic about what's being communicated. Ellyn Bader: And then we recommend a break and then you can switch roles but you don't want to mush everything together so, there's not clarity about what belongs to each person. So that's a quick short hand. We work with continuum so we help people see what they're developing in themselves to get better at it, and... But it's... The process is used by therapists all over the world and it's probably the most widely-used part of our model because they get to see how powerful it is for couples. Neil Sattin: Yeah, so I'm seeing as the important components from the initiator's side being willing to really get to what you want or what your issue is from a self-perspective, so not being in a position where you're blaming the other person, but focusing in on what is going on within you that's a challenge or problem, and... Peter Pearson: That's extremely difficult Neil, what you just expressed right there is to get clearer and clearer about what's important to you and why. And so many people grow up with almost nobody encouraging or supporting the expression of what you want, or why that's important. And so as adults, it just gets layered over and layered over and it's surprisingly difficult for so many people to be clear about what it is that they really want. Neil Sattin: Yeah, and so the flip side of what's so important about this is that the person who's the inquirer, along with the empathy that you named which is clearly really important is this sense of like, "I'm asking you questions so I can understand you better not so I can pin you down, not so I can get my point across." It's not... I'm not asking you questions to make a case about something else, I'm asking you questions that are about really unearthing... Helping you dive more deeply into who you are and like we were talking about before, what it is about this thing that really matters to you. Peter Pearson: And also Neil, what you're saying right there is on that side of the coin, extremely difficult. A lot of people think, "Well, jeez, if I really start knowing what's important to you and why, then I'm going to have to give up what I want or change what I think or change what I feel." And so that feels, it almost is like there's a self-preservation against knowing much more about what it is that your partner wants. They are simply afraid it will intensify the conflict and sometimes it does. Ellyn Bader: But... And getting to that empathy pushes development, it pushes people to get out of themselves and understand another reality. Neil Sattin: Yeah, it makes me think too of your work around lying and your book Tell Me No Lies because this is one of those moments where it seems so important to be fostering an atmosphere that invites truth-telling, so that when you're asking your partner questions they feel like they can answer... Answer you honestly, without being beaten over the head by what they're saying or the person's response. So there's that aspect that's challenging as well of hearing things and learning how to not take it personally or to deal with the emotions that arise when you're hearing things that are challenging. Ellyn Bader: Yup, yeah, I mean relationships are a place where an enormous amount of growth takes place and if you have the expectation that your primary relationship is always going to be easy, effortless, and enjoyable all the time you're in for a tough ride. Neil Sattin: That doesn't happen? [chuckle] Ellyn Bader: Not too often. Neil Sattin: So, you alluded earlier to the series that you're doing, and we've been talking about communication and you said that one of the biggest things that comes to a couples' session is when couples think that their problem is that they're not able to communicate with each other, that all they have to do is learn how to communicate better. And that's one of the topics that you're going to discuss in this five day... Five part series, and I happen to have the list of the other topics in front of me, so I'm just going to name them for people, so that they can hear. Ellyn Bader: Do you want me to do it or you want... Neil Sattin: Yeah, go ahead, 'cause you can probably talk about it with even more intel. Ellyn Bader: Well, yeah, let me just create a context. As Neil said earlier, I surveyed therapists about tough things that they struggle with. And then I wanted to put together this five part... Well, a series of training that would help therapists learn more about what the developmental model can do for them and why. And so I'm doing three live webinars starting a week, starting Monday, September ninth and going through that week. And the first webinar, the point of the first webinar is really clients don't always tell us what we need to know about why they're having trouble. Ellyn Bader: They'll present a problem like we fight about clutter or he's never home on time, or whatever it is, but you don't have a window into seeing their developmental stage and the level of differentiation. And so the first webinar is designed to help you with an exercise that will show you how to see better what you need to know. And I'll be showing a video of a couple that I worked with using this particular exercise. The second day is actually an article and a clinical transcript. And it's about power struggles because so often, people get stuck in a power struggle. Ellyn Bader: And this particular one is a case that Pete worked with and it is power struggling over parenting and how to parent. And then the third one is that we can't communicate. It's a video example of showing how to work with a couple when they come in and they believe their problem is communication and you want to take it further and deeper and more vulnerable and more open. And how do you get there and how do you help them see that it's more than just communication. Neil Sattin: And I just want to mention too that being able to see you work with other couples is so valuable I think as a therapist, and a training exercise but also as a couple being able to see how another couple responds in a similar kind of situation, and how a therapist interacts... Just there's so much juice there, in terms of informing how we respond in a relationship as well, along with how we respond as counselors, and therapists. Ellyn Bader: And yeah and we try to pick some cases that have common problems so that people who watch like you're saying Neil can benefit. In the first case, it's a blended family who are struggling with blended family issues. This case, I just mentioned is one where they say, "We can't communicate," but they've had some alcohol problems, they've had some other deeper issues that weren't on the surface. The fourth day is another article and transcript. And it's with me working with a narcissistic husband who had really dominated most of the sessions and was not somebody who had been willing to look at himself. And so I chose the transcript of a session where I was really pushing him around being open and looking at himself, and not being... Not externalizing everything onto me and onto his wife. So that's the fourth day. Neil Sattin: Cool. Ellyn Bader: And then the very last day is another one that I get asked about a lot and that is in the aftermath of infidelity, you often have one partner who is obsessing about all the details of their partner's affair, and they want to know, "Where did you meet, and where did you sleep, and how much money did you spend?" And that constant kind of obsession it can be very hard to deal with in sessions. And so it's an example of me working with a couple where the wife was doing that and how to turn that into a positive direction rather than having it undermine your work. Neil Sattin: They all sound like super powerful things to witness and to learn more about. If you are interested in participating in this five-part series that Ellyn is doing, are the two of you doing that together or is it just you, Ellyn who's... Ellyn Bader: I'm doing the webinars, but like I said, Pete did one of the transcripts for one of the article. Neil Sattin: Oh right, right, yeah. So, you can visit Neilsattin.com/institute and it's institute because Ellyn and Pete together run The Couples Institute, which is their center for information for couples, for therapists and their training course that they do because they have a big course that they do for therapists to help them learn how to work with couples around this developmental model. Ellyn, can you give us the full name of the course? 'cause it's... It gives you a lot just hearing the name you know what it's about. Ellyn Bader: Sure. Just one thing before I do that, this series that I'm... That Neil was just talking about will be available online until September 22nd. So, if one of your listeners hears this a few days after we've started, they can still sign up and get what they missed up until the 22nd of September. Neil Sattin: Great. And I think it's important to mention too, that this five part series is free. So anyone can sign up, neilsattin.com/institute and you'll be able to get access to these trainings for free. Ellyn Bader: And the name of the course is the developmental model of couples therapy, integrating attachment, differentiation and neuroscience in couples work. And it's, of course, I love doing this training, it's an online program, there's therapists in it from all over the world, coaches too from all over the world, believe it, there's people from 35 different countries. And it's designed to help you learn to benefit from knowing the developmental model and using concepts to get you unstuck and to keep forward progress happening in your couples work. Neil Sattin: So, very powerful and I'm always amazed as even when I re-visit your work in preparation for one of these conversations, I'm always pulling new stuff out and being like, "Oh I know, I read that before but there's another gem of information that... " So there's so much depth to what you're offering and you can tell just from the title of the course that it's very comprehensive in terms of merging development, attachment, neuroscience in a way that's really practical in the therapists or coaching office. Well, I... Ellyn Bader: Thank you Neil. Neil Sattin: One quick question going back to the initiator inquirer model, I was wondering if you have any suggestions for people on how to switch directions 'cause I think that can sometimes be one of the troubles where one person feels like, "Well, I'm always the one who's trying to understand my partner and I want them to understand me for a change." So are there ways that you found that work to invite that switch? Ellyn Bader: Well, first of all, one of the things I like to say to people is that the person who actively initiates the topic and that can be to say to your partner, "Is this a good time to talk?" Or, "I have something I want to talk about." The person who takes the risk of initiating ideally is the initiator. Then when they're finished, you can take a 20 minute break up to a two or three-day break to come back and do the other side. But if there's somebody who's never initiating as their therapist, I'm going to be working with them on what's getting in the way of you initiating because there are many people who are just reactive and they wait for their partners to bring it up, and then they say, "But wait, I want to go first. There is my turn," but they won't do that active initiation. So I try to cut that out by really getting people to take that accountability and ownership to initiate for themselves. Neil Sattin: Yeah, it almost seems like then the real potential issue is helping get the inquirer to really want to sign up for asking questions that are about unearthing understanding as opposed to just reacting responding. Peter Pearson: And ironically, the initiator could say to their partner if this person does most of the initiating, "Honey there's something I would like to talk about, which is, it seems to me, I'm the one who continues to bring up... And it would mean a lot to me if you brought up stuff about yourself for example... And I want to be in the role of listening and being curious and understanding your struggles a little more comprehensively than I do. That would help us, I think, create a stronger union, may be a stronger team and work more collaboratively shoulder-to-shoulder going forth in life. So, knowing more about you, I think could help us short-term and possibly long-term as well." Neil Sattin: Perfect, well I see that we're bumping up against our hard stop for time. And even though I would love to chat with you more, I think I'm just going to have to save my other questions for the next time that we talk. But in the mean time, it's always such a pleasure to have you both here with us. Pete Pearson, Ellyn Bader of The Couples Institute. If you want to take part in their free series you can visit neilsattin.com/institute or to download the transcript of today's episode, visit neilsattin.com/development2. That's the word development and the number two, or text the word Passion to the number 33444 and follow the instructions, and you'll have all the links for you that we talked about today on the show page. So that is for you Ellyn and Pete, thank you so much for making it work today, it's such a pleasure to talk to you. Ellyn Bader: Well, thank you Neil, it's always enjoyable to talk to you. And yeah there probably will be a next time sometime we get together again. Peter Pearson: Yeah, I hope there is a next time, Neil. It's like Ellyn says it's always good talking with you. The time goes fast and I just want to give another shout out to you Neil for all that you're doing, bringing these messages to the professional and to the public lives. So shut out to you for doing all your work Neil. Neil Sattin: Thank you so much, I appreciate that reflection, a lot!

Neil Herbst, co-owner of Edmonton original Alley Kat Brewing is our guest this week. Neil discusses the history of Alley Kat, one of Alberta’s oldest breweries operating today, as well as his life growing up in rural Alberta, his time working with the provincial government, and the unique advantages of having a spouse as a business partner. Growing up on a farm just outside of Warner, Alberta gives Neil an edge, he’s able to fix stuff and problem solve, and he’s got an intimate familiarity with the ingredients right from the ground up. Neil and his original co-founders were inspired to found Alley Kat by the craft beer renaissance going on in the US at the time. As an avid home brewer, and looking to leave his job with the provincial government for something more hands-on, Alley Kat was one of the first dozen breweries in the province, compared to over 150 today. We don’t like to shy away from mistakes on this podcast, and Neil shares his favourite: re-tooling Full Moon Pale into an IPA, a move which culminated bringing back the original recipe and a #BlameNeil party!This episode we also hear about Mark’s theory about the three types of breweries, sales-first, science-first, and marketing-first. Breweries need to be doing all three, but Mark frequently finds that one in particular stands out as a focus for most. As Neil points out, there’s a fourth option missing from the spectrum… beer-drinking first! letsmeetforabeer.com albertabeerfestivals.com Alley Kat Brewing

Mindful Collective Visualization Tool, a brand new ethics and sustainability online indexing tool is explained by Co-Founder, Neil Wilkins. The Mindful Collective have developed this visualization tool to help businesses begin their journey towards being more ethical and sustainable. As Neil explains, the tool utilises on screen sliders to record perceptions of where a business […] The post Mindful Collective Visualization Tool Explained appeared first on Neil Wilkins.

Well another year has come and gone. Was 2018 good to you? As I celebrate turning 45 and look back on what 44 and 2018 was like I did some things well, and others not so well but overall it was a good year. Lessons were learned and relationships were made, and THAT is where we will grow. As we review the 1st 5 episodes of Modern Agent Podcast what have we learned?1) Database is vital! If you dont have one start today! Shoot for having approx 300 people in your database. As Neil said think of the people you would invite to your wedding.2) Relationships! now that you have your database started really spend some time getting to know these people, even if they are your best friends, pour into them!3) Time management. Plan your day out, make the most of every minute and be intentional! Planning a trip across town to have coffee with a client, stop and drive by the 2 new listings that are on the way.4) Relationships! Keep reaching out and giving to your database. Don't be canned, be genuine and actually listen to them, invest in them!5) Content! Create content. Doesn't matter if it's a newsletter, a blog, facebook live, a podcast, Alexa flash briefings....but you must be creating content on a regular CONSISTENT basis.6) Relationships....at the end of the day this is a relationship business and without a lot of really great relationships you will fail! For more info about CTE mentioned in this episode click here http://www.ctebiz.com/In 2019 lean in to being more disciplined with your time and your effort and being consistent. Discipline & Consistency! Deploy discipline and consistency in everything you do. You want to lose a few LBs for the beach this year, go to the gym consistently even when its hard, even when you are sore, even when it is raining. Eat healthy consistently, pass on the donut and eat the eggs, each day and you will get to your goal. There are no short cuts! It is simply Discipline & Consistency. Happy New Year!If you got some value out of today's show we would love it if you would subscribe and come back for more great info. If you like what we are doing and really want to show your support please give us a rating and a review, that would be awesome! Thanks - see you next week!Our host Rick Gonzalez is a Realtor with eXp Realty LLC in the NW Florida Panhandle, and Team Leader of the Freeport Insider Home Team. Rick is a US Navy Veteran. Rick also founded The Freeport Insider, a local community on social media helping to support his small but rapidly growing community. Rick has also served as the Vice President of his local Freeport Merchants Association helping educate, market and support the local business in his market. Rick is a Son, Husband to his wonderfully supportive and beautiful wife Katrina, and Father to 3 amazing kids Olivia, Alexzander and Hannah.You can find Rick online at:https://freeportinsider.com/https://www.facebook.com/RickGonzalezVARealtor/@rick.a.gonzalez on IG

In which we test the strength of our mettle. Featuring unrealistic healthcare standards and a blast from the past. This episode’s script can be found here: Misadventure by Death is a monthly podcast. Cover art: Kassandra Guest starring: Judson Ragsdale of The Blood Crow Stories Lane Lloyd of Sable Paul Sating of Subject: Found and Who Killed Julie? Mischa Stanton of Ars Paradoxica Paul Misacavage of Minefire Jesse Hall of Tales of Thattown Alexander Danner of Greater Boston and What’s the Frequency Armed with nothing but his trusty recorder and a few dozen flashlights, Neil Hastbury-Rue takes up the mantle of groundskeeper at the definitely haunted, recently opened Harrison Shaw Manor Museum in the middle of the Virginian Appalachian mountains. Easy-peasy…right? Perhaps not. As Neil attempts to settle into his new home, he finds himself having to combat supernatural shenanigans, a few less than savory fellow staff members, and good old Southern charm. What could possibly go wrong? For more information, please visit our Twitter our Tumblr, and be sure to check out the other shows over at Crossroad Stations!

In which Neil gets a nice visit. Featuring healthcare beyond the grave and one whole Scooby Doo reference. This episode’s script can be found here. Misadventure by Death is a monthly podcast. Cover art: Kassandra Guest: Alexander Danner of Greater Boston and What’s the Frequency Armed with nothing but his trusty recorder and a few dozen flashlights, Neil Hastbury-Rue takes up the mantle of groundskeeper at the definitely haunted, recently opened Harrison Shaw Manor Museum in the middle of the Virginian Appalachian mountains. Easy-peasy…right? Perhaps not. As Neil attempts to settle into his new home, he finds himself having to combat supernatural shenanigans, a few less than savory fellow staff members, and good old Southern charm. What could possibly go wrong? For more information, please visit our Twitter our Tumblr, and be sure to check out the other shows over at Crossroad Stations!

In which our family grows just a little bit closer. Featuring warm fuzzies and a holiday miracle. Misadventure by Death is a monthly podcast. Theme Music: Rosemary Derocher Cover Art: Kassandra Armed with nothing but his trusty recorder and a few dozen flashlights, Neil Hastbury-Rue takes up the mantle of groundskeeper at the definitely haunted, recently opened Harrison Shaw Manor Museum in the middle of the Virginian Appalachian mountains. Easy-peasy…right? Perhaps not. As Neil attempts to settle into his new home, he finds himself having to combat with supernatural shenanigans, a  few less than savory fellow staff members, and good old Southern charm. What could possibly go wrong?

In which Neil gets schooled. Featuring an exceptional amount of falling, an excessive amount of cursing, and an overwhelming amount of sassiness. Misadventure by Death is a monthly podcast. Theme Music: Rosemary Derocher Cover Art: Kassandra Armed with nothing but his trusty recorder and a few dozen flashlights, Neil Hastbury-Rue takes up the mantle of groundskeeper at the definitely haunted, recently opened Harrison Shaw Manor Museum in the middle of the Virginian Appalachian mountains. Easy-peasy…right? Perhaps not. As Neil attempts to settle into his new home, he finds himself having to combat with supernatural shenanigans, a  few less than savory fellow staff members, and good old Southern charm. What could possibly go wrong?

In which, pardon the expression, shit gets real. Featuring a song with the pronouns unchanged, a buff construction worker, and the sweet, sweet promise of death. Misadventure by Death is a monthly podcast. Theme Music: Rosemary Derocher Cover Art: Kassandra Armed with nothing but his trusty recorder and a few dozen flashlights, Neil Hastbury-Rue takes up the mantle of groundskeeper at the definitely haunted, recently opened Harrison Shaw Manor Museum in the middle of the Virginian Appalachian mountains. Easy-peasy…right? Perhaps not. As Neil attempts to settle into his new home, he finds himself having to combat with supernatural shenanigans, a  few less than savory fellow staff members, and good old Southern charm. What could possibly go wrong?

Best friends do everything together. They share laughs, tears, victories, and in some cases…well, they share more…shall we say difficult situations? Misadventure by Death is a monthly podcast. Theme Music: Rosemary Derocher Cover Art: Kassandra Armed with nothing but his trusty recorder and a few dozen flashlights, Neil Hastbury-Rue takes up the mantle of groundskeeper at the definitely haunted, recently opened Harrison Shaw Manor Museum in the middle of the Virginian Appalachian mountains. Easy-peasy…right? Perhaps not. As Neil attempts to settle into his new home, he finds himself having to combat with supernatural shenanigans, a  few less than savory fellow staff members, and good old Southern charm. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, when you hit rock bottom, the only direction to go is up. Theoretically. Featuring: a distinct lack of social life and the soul-crushing weight of responsibility. Misadventure by Death is a monthly podcast. Theme Music: Rosemary Derocher Cover Art: Kassandra Armed with nothing but his trusty recorder and a few dozen flashlights, Neil Hastbury-Rue takes up the mantle of groundskeeper at the definitely haunted, recently opened Harrison Shaw Manor Museum in the middle of the Virginian Appalachian mountains. Easy-peasy…right? Perhaps not. As Neil attempts to settle into his new home, he finds himself having to combat with supernatural shenanigans, a  few less than savory fellow staff members, and good old Southern charm. What could possibly go wrong?

(This podcast was produced by CLOT Magazine editorial team and Stephen Mclaughlin) What happens if we alter the traditional methods of sensing by adding an extra sense? What changes if we extend our perception and abilities by enhancing our senses? In her A Cyborg Manifesto, written in the early eighties, Dora Haraway defined cyborg as ‘A cybernetic organism, a hybrid of machine and organism, a creature of social reality as well as a creature of fiction. Neil Harbisson, cyborg artist, co-founder of The Cyborg Foundation and Cyborg Nest, ‘became technology’ and therefore cyborg more than a decade ago when he implanted an antenna in his skull that allows him to hear colours. Born with achromatopsia, a rare condition of colour blindness that makes him see the world in a grey scale, the antenna, which Harbisson calls ‘eyeborg’ represents the perfect cybernetic union between human and technology. He even wears it while showering. For Harbisson, the son of a Catalan mother and an Irish father, his identity as a cyborg is official — the antenna is included in his British passport. Harbisson’s cyborg art is mainly focused on creating music and portraits through the new sense. In Piano Concerto No. 1, he painted a piano with different colour paint and then the antenna played the frequencies of the colours while he created portraits in Sound Portraits by listening to the colour of their faces. Another appealing artwork is The Human Colour Wheel, a colour wheel based on the light of the human skins. Apart from his artistic work Neil Harbisson co-founded together with cyborg choreographer Moon Ribas The Cyborg Foundation in 2010. Its aims are to help people to become a cyborg by giving them the tools and the information to achieve their goal. More recently, in 2016, Harbisson and Ribas launched Cyborg Nest. As Neil says, Cyborg Nest is a company that ‘[offers] senses for people. (...) so people can extend their senses by applying or incorporating new sensory organs in their body.’ How would the world appear to us when we sense it in a broad and different new ways? Exploring new ways of communicating beyond our senses and languages of sounds and signs will allow us to comprehend the world in broader dimensions. The world would not be perceived any longer in three dimensions.