It's Funny You Should Ask

Happy 2022! #newyearnewme, right? Haha, we kid. But it is that time of the year where a lot of North Americans set New Year's resolutions. But do they work? How can you actually change your life so that you're achieving the goals that matter most to you? Today we discuss whether you should even set resolutions, and if you do, how to best reach those goals! Also, you get to hear the story of T's most embarrassing New Year's Eve party (hint: a soiled Marc Jacobs bag is involved…)   T's article: “How to trick your brain into keeping a New Year's resolution” Sarah Chodosh, Jan 1, 2022 from Popular Science (https://www.popsci.com/how-to-accomplish-new-years-resolution) K's article: “A large-scale experiment on New Year's resolutions: Approach-oriented goals are more successful than avoidance-oriented goals” Oscarsson, Martin et al., PloS one vol. 15,12 e0234097. 9 Dec. 2020, doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0234097 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7725288/)

Remember when your parents finally explained the birds and the bees to you? Remember when your mom fully prepared you for your first period? No? Yeah...we don't remember either. Today T & K share how they learned about their lady bits and funny encounters along the way! 

Join us as K explains why she was away for so long. She gets into her recent diagnosis of ADHD and how it has impacted her as well as how it impacts women and girls in general. Surprisingly (not) there is not much research done on women with ADHD but in this episode, K and T do their best to normalize the discussion and bring some awareness through their own experiences! Isn't that the best way to do it? K's article: https://chadd.org/for-adults/women-and-girls/

We've all been there before--you're having a conversation with someone and they drop one of those comments that is just straight up offensive. If you're like us, these situations may feel awkward AF. Do you call the person out? Do you laugh awkwardly and back away? Today T & K talk about why those comments are so offensive and why you should probably say something.    T's article: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/culture-news/a32769018/silent-racism-george-floyd/   K's article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/think-act-be/201811/when-is-it-gaslighting-and-when-is-it-not 

You know that feeling when you want to make a change in your life (and maybe even make progress) but keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again? Whether it's sticking to a gym routine or meditating everyday, we know that feeling! Today T&K discuss the frustration associated with setbacks and how you can keep moving forward towards your goals despite slipping up every now and then.    T's article: James Clear, “Forget About Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead.” (excerpt from Atomic Habits) online: https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems   K's article: Juliana Breines, “The Dangers of Self-Forgiveness—And How to Avoid Them”, Psychology Today, July 12, 2012.  

Given that all the pandemic restrictions are slowly starting to lift, we thought it would be a good idea to talk about that old thing you might remember - FOMO! What is it, where does it come from, and maybe a few tips to get ready for when you start seeing people getting back out there and living their best [instagram] life.    K also goes on a little rant about mental health but that's pretty standard over here.    T's article: Madeline Fry Schultz, “How I Got Over FOMO as an Introvert” August 18, 2016 in Verily Magazine, online: https://verilymag.com/2016/08/introverts-quiet-extroverts-fomo-confidence   K's article: Zach Friedman, “How to be Happy; 20 Ways to be Happier Today” August 13, 2019 in Forbes Magazine, online:  https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackfriedman/2019/08/13/how-to-be-happy/?sh=2e8b893d13f9    Dont forget to check out the guided meditation by Headspace available on Netflix!  

T and K are going through some changes in their lives and found themselves lacking closure. The pandemic doesn't help. Join us as they discuss where this need for closure comes from and what we can do about it!    T's article: Kruglanski, A. W., & Fishman, S. (2009). The need for cognitive closure. In M. R. Leary & R. H. Hoyle (Eds.), Handbook of individual differences in social behavior (p. 343–353). The Guilford Press. Take a short version of the test mentioned in T's article here: https://www.thecut.com/2015/12/this-quiz-shows-how-well-you-handle-uncertainty.html K's Article:  Pam Ramsden, “The Psychology of Closure” University of Bradford, October 2018. Available online: https://theconversation.com/the-psychology-of-closure-and-why-some-need-it-more-than-others-104159

In this episode, T & K share our listeners' comments and questions. Did your question/comment make it onto this episode? Listen and find out!    P.s. K shares the recipe for a Gibson, so if you've ever wondered what pickled onions taste like in alcoholic beverage form, tune in ;)

It's spring cleaning time over here at It's Funny You Should Ask and today T & K discuss why it's in your best interests to declutter your space. In case you didn't know how the KonMari method works, K will give you a primer! Also tune in to hear K's weird obsession with price tags….   T's article: Emilie Le Beau Lucchesi, Jan. 3, 2019, “The Unbearable Heaviness of Clutter” The New York Times, online: www.nytimes.com/2019/01/03/well/mind/clutter-stress-procrastination-psychology.html T's article about where donated items go: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/donated-clothing-where-it-ends-up-1.4662023   K's article: Amanda Garrity, Jan 11, 2019, “What Is the KonMari Method? Here's How to Declutter the Marie Kondo Way” Good Housekeeping, online: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/organizing/a25846191/what-is-the-konmari-method/    

Today T & K discuss how their definition of success has changed over the years and answer the question: would your 12 year old self think you are successful now? T examines the ever-changing ways to measure success and K offers a comparison of how women vs men view success. In case you need to hear it today, you are a successful person already! Remember, you can't experience success if you're always chasing it.  T's article: Jayson Demers, “Define Success: A Professional's Guide to Finding Purpose and Motivation”, Inc.com, (21 Jan 2015) online: www.inc.com/jayson-demers/define-success-a-professional-s-guide-to-finding-purpose-and-motivation.html K's article: Lorraine S. Dyke & Steven A. Murphy, “How We Define Success: A Qualitative Study of What Matters Most to Women and Men”, Springer Science, (2006).  Allan Watts, “What if money was no object?”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc

How often do you mindlessly browse through your favorite social media app? Do you suddenly find yourself adding things to your online shopping cart? We definitely do - more than we'd like to admit! Sit with us as we talk about what phone addiction even is (or if it's even a real thing) and how to curb it!    Take the same test K took to see if you are addicted to your phone!: https://virtual-addiction.com/smartphone-compulsion-test/   T's article: Kevin Roose, “Do Not Disturb: How I Ditched My Phone and Unbroke My Brain” (February 23, 2019) from the New York Times, online: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/23/business/cell-phone-addiction.html   K's article: Christina Gregory, PhD.,”Internet Addiction Disorder; Signs, symptoms, diagnosis, and treatments for those who may be addicted to the Web on their PC or smart phone” (November 2020) from PSYCOM, online: https://www.psycom.net/iadcriteria.html

Have you ever felt like you don't have enough friends, or felt guilty for not keeping in touch with an old friend? We have! Today we discuss why making friends as an adult is hard and clarify the difference between a clique and a group of friends.    Also help us decide if K's signature move to make friends is creepy. She doesn't think so.    T's article: Emily Burns, “How to make friends as an adult” (November 23, 2020) online: https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult.html See this too: Dr. Miriam Kirmayer's research- https://www.miriamkirmayer.com/friendship-research/ K's Article: Sherri Gordon, “How to Tell the Difference Between a Clique and Friends” May 17, 2020 online: https://www.verywellfamily.com/a-clique-or-friends-how-to-tell-the-difference

Today we talk about the dreaded “b” word--budgeting. We discuss our mistakes with money and why we avoided actually talking about them for so long. Guess what, if you don't have a budget already, we're going to suggest that you make one now!   T's article: Stephanie Horan, “How different generations spend money” Jan 16, 2020 online: https://smartasset.com/checking-account/how-different-generations-spend-money-2020 K's article: Think Money, “8 reasons it can be hard to stick to a budget – and how to beat them” Nov 2014 online:https://www.thinkmoney.co.uk/blog/8-reasons-it-can-be-hard-to-stick-to-a-budget 

In this episode, T & K reflect on what it was like growing up with their siblings. T discusses the birth order theory (which she 100% thinks is a thing) and K discusses how culture indirectly impacts the number of children in a family.   T & K also get into a discussion of traditions and celebrations around the birth of a boy or a girl and some changes that they've seen.   T's article: Corinna Hartman & Sara Goudarzi, “Does Birth Order Affect Personality?” August 8, 2019, Scientific American online at: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/does-birth-order-affect-personality/ K's article: Euan McKirdy, “Why India's Gender Gap has led to Millions of Unwanted Girls” CNN, January 30, 2018, online at: https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/30/health/india-unwanted-girls-intl

Sometimes it's hard not to get caught up in gossip--whether or not you know the person. Especially those brown aunties, if you know what we're talking about! T & K unpack the “why” of gossip, and reflect on their own experiences.    Also - find out how T took down a cyber bullying site all by herself!   T's article: Sophia Gottfried, “The Science Behind Why People Gossip—And When It Can Be a Good Thing” Time Magazine, Sept 25, 2019 online: https://time.com/5680457/why-do-people-gossip/   K's article: Jenny M. Cole, “Short Term Effects of Gossip Behaviour on Self-Esteem” Current Psychology, Sept 13, 2013 online at: http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-013-9176-3) 

For International Women's Day, T & K discuss feminism and what it means to them. T provides a (very) brief history of feminism and K offers an alternative approach to feminism in modern times. (Spoiler alert: We might be bad feminists!) T's resources:  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “We should all be feminists” December 2012, online: https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_we_should_all_be_feminists/transcript?language=en#:~:text=And%20when%20I%20looked%20up,ve%20heard%2C%20was%20a%20feminist.  McAfee, Noëlle, "Feminist Philosophy", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2018 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = . Constance Grady, “The waves of feminism, and why people keep fighting over them, explained” (20 Jul 2018) online: https://www.vox.com/2018/3/20/16955588/feminism-waves-explained-first-second-third-fourth Kriti's Source The Guardian, “The bad feminist manifesto | Feminism” by Roxane Gay, https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/02/bad-feminist-roxane-gay-extract

Moving out of your childhood home is always a huge adjustment. Not everyone makes this transition at the same time, especially if your parents don't expect you to move out until you're married! T & K reflect on their own experiences of moving out (at 17 vs 24) and discuss the factors that contribute to the decision to leave home. K's Article - Article: Evelina Lou & Richard Lalonde & Benjamin Giguere, “Making the Decision to Move Out: Bicultural Young Adults and the Negotiation of Cultural Demands and Family Relationships”, Journal of Cross-cultural Psychology, 43, p.663-670, 2012.  T's article:  Elina Lahelma & Tuula Gordon, “Home as a Physical, Social and Mental Space: Young People's Reflections on Leaving Home” Journal of Youth Studies, Vol. 6, No. 4, 2003

The dreaded question that women are confronted with time and time again--when are you having kids? Our guest, J (a working mother of two adorable kids) weighs in on her decision to have children and continue pursuing her career. We also discuss the implications of having children on women's careers and lives in general. K's Article - Article: The Atlantic, “When Women Choose Children Over a Career”, by Hana Schank and Elizabeth Wallace, December 2016, online: https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/12/opting-out/500018/

Today T & K grapple with body image and reflect on their own experiences learning to love their bodies, despite what society has led them to believe. Shout out to @thebirdspapaya and @mikzazon, two body positive influencers on Instagram that can add some positivity to your instagram feed! P.S. Sorry if you hear beeping at the end of this episode! K's Article: Halliwell, E., Diedrichs, P. C., & Orbach, S. (2014). Costing the invisible: A review of the evidence examining the links between body image, aspirations, education and workplace confidence T's Article: Ella Guest, Bruna Costa, Heidi Williamson, Jane Meyrick, Emma Halliwell, Diana Harcourt, “The effectiveness of interventions aiming to promote positive body image in adults: A systematic review” Body Image, Volume 30, 2019, Pages 10-25.

What was your biggest influence when you picked your career path? Listen in as K and T discuss what they THOUGHT they wanted and what they actually wanted out of their careers. Shout out to that immigrant family guilt! You know what we're talking about.    T's Article: Peter Akosah-Twumasi Peter et al., “A Systematic Review of Factors That Influence Youths Career Choices—the Role of Culture”, Frontiers in Education, 2018 VOL 3: 58, https://www.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/feduc.2018.00058.    K's Article: Inc. “New Harvard Research - To Be Successful, Chase Your Purpose, Not Your Passion ” by Jessica Stillman, November 2019, online at: https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/new-harvard-research-to-be-successful-chase-your-purpose-not-your-passion.html#:~:text=In%20one%20study%20of%20several,nine%20months%20down%20the%20line.%22     

Do you ever feel obligated to give advice? Well, so do we. T & K discuss why we feel the need to give others relationship advice and how we feel receiving it, too.    Sangria recipe (actually follow it,unlike us):www.thecookierookie.com/apple-pie-sangria/    Carrot cake recipe (legit the best carrot cake EVER):sallysbakingaddiction.com/my-favorite-carrot-cake-recipe/    T's article: Andrew King. ‘Chick Crack': Self-Esteem, Science and Women's Dating Advice. Society, 57, 195–205 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12115-020-00465-8 (access required)   K's article: The Journal of Adolescence, “Interpersonal Identity formation in conversations with close friends about dating relationships” by Elizabeth M. Morgan, Neill Korobov, September 2011, online at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51705977_Interpersonal_identity_formation_in_conversations_with_close_friends_about_dating_relationships  Podcast music: "Wholesome" by Kevin Macleod, 2019, online:https://incompetech.com/wordpress/2019/07/wholesome/

This episode features our first guest, Anita! We chat about when we have been creeped out, and when we've been creepy ourselves (whoops!). We discuss what is perceived as creepy, why, and how we can deal with situations that make us uncomfortable. Heads up - the volume on this episode might be a little higher than the other episodes!    T's article: Francis T. McAndrew, Sara S. Koehnke, “On the nature of creepiness”, New Ideas in Psychology, Volume 43, 2016, Pages 10-15. online: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0732118X16300320 (access required)   K's article: The Washington Post, “Why India's modern women say it's a ‘burden' to be female” by Vidhi Doshi, March 2018, available online at: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2018/03/12/why-indias-modern-women-say-its-a-burden-to-be-female/    Podcast music: "Wholesome" by Kevin Macleod, 2019, online:https://incompetech.com/wordpress/2019/07/wholesome/

In a world full of personality types, T&K take 2 personality tests to find out what our Meyers Briggs personality types are and discuss the results. We share our thoughts on why learning more about your personality type could be helpful and  delve a little into the history of these tests, and their scientific validity.    Websites for personality tests: 16 Personalities (our fave): https://www.16personalities.com/  Truity: https://www.truity.com/  T's resources: The Myers-Briggs Foundation, MBTI Basics, https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/; Wikipedia: Myers-Briggs Type Indicator https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers%E2%80%93Briggs_Type_Indicator  Podcast music: "Wholesome" by Kevin Macleod, 2019, online:https://incompetech.com/wordpress/2019/07/wholesome/

Have you ever sent a text and received a response 2 days later? We think that's weird. In this episode, T&K reflect on response times to texts and emails, as well as the phenomenon of social media in modern relationships.   T's article: Aziz Ansari & Eric Klinenberg, “She'll text me, she'll text me not” on Nautilus, Feb 11, 2016, online at: https://nautil.us/issue/33/attraction/shell-text-me-shell-text-me-not K's article: University of Waterloo, “Why people don't reply to your emails”, July 11, 2020, online at: https://uwaterloo.ca/math/why-people-dont-reply-your-emails  K's article 2: Harvard Business Review, “Before You Respond to that Email, Pause” by Anthony K. Tjan, October 2014, online at: ttps://hbr.org/2014/10/before-you-respond-to-that-email-pause  Podcast music: "Wholesome" by Kevin Macleod, 2019, online:https://incompetech.com/wordpress/2019/07/wholesome/

T & K talk about how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted our expectations for the year 2020, relationship expectations, and how to manage expectations to avoid disappointment. In this episode, it's T, K and our squeaky chair!  T's article: Yoga Journal, “The Tyranny of Expectations” by Phillip Moffitt, November/December 2004, online at:http://www.lifebalance.org/articles/2004-11_12_Tyranny_Of_Expectations.pdf   K's article: Psychology Today, “How Expectations Are Shaping Your Relationship” by Amie M. Gordon, September 28 2019, online at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/between-you-and-me/201909/how-expectations-are-shaping-your-relationship   Podcast music: "Wholesome" by Kevin Macleod, 2019, online:https://incompetech.com/wordpress/2019/07/wholesome/

Welcome to It's Funny You Should Ask! In this short introductory episode, we introduce ourselves and what our podcast is all about. Thanks for joining us!