Recovery ReLOVution Show

The stakeholder relationship is really important. Once you understand what it is, you will see it at work in many situations. As a recovery stakeholder, you have a stake in your loved ones' recovery. You have a stake in seeing recovery stick. So, we coined the term recovery stakeholder. It seemed appropriate and most people that we have talked to that are in this boat agree. The important thing to recognize is that it is a slippery slope for a stakeholder to become codependent with the person that they are in relationship with.        Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:36   She talks about how she can see now that she enabled him as he was growing up . . . just trying to be a good mom that wanted life to be a little easier for her son.   02:13   Aware Appreciation.  04:28   Are you still scratching your head a bit? Wondering, what a recovery stakeholder is? And, even if you are one? Let's start with defining recovery stakeholders.   09:34   Make sure that you are not enabling the addict and prolonging the inevitable.  10:54   Whatever your relationship is with that person, at a certain point, they have to take responsibility for the issue.   15:38   Sometimes, the only thing we can do is to just confront the craziness that we are in the middle of and say, “That is the addiction talking.”   16:45   I am feeling torn. I hadn't heard from my son in over a week. He texted me yesterday and, once again, blamed my husband and I for what's going on in his life.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes How can you deal with stress that isn’t likely to go away any time soon? If you’re living with an addict, your life is stressful. And, the lingering effects of stress are not to be taken lightly. If you find yourself unable to concentrate, lying awake at night, or neglecting the “to do list” of things that need attention in your own life, you are feeling the effects of stress. I’m going to help you recognize the warning signs that stress has taken control and build the stress management skills you need as a Recovery ReLOVutionary. In this episode, listeners will: Build the stress management skills they need to help deal with stress Understand what effects stress has on well-being, including mental, physical, and emotional Learn which kinds of stress is good and which is harmful Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:44 The article was on the USAToday.com website talking about five ways to cut stress in a 24/7 world. This doctor, Dr. Francoise Adan, who heads integrative medicine at University Hospitals in Cleveland … 03:39 Aware Appreciation. 05:54 How can you deal with stress that isn’t likely to go away any time soon? If you’re living with an addict, your life is stressful. And, the lingering effects of stress are not to be taken lightly. 06:28 Let’s start by recognizing the warning signs that we are under a tremendous amount of stress. First, we’ll look at obsessive thinking. 12:02 Ways to deal with stress are going to help you to work your way through this. Let’s start by looking at this … what’s called the PCI index. 17:38 When we attempt to deal with a situation while we are under the effects of tremendous stress, the outcome is not going to be good. In Episode 5, I talked about emotional triggers. 18:25 My husband is going to put our 18-year-old son out on the street. His drug use and emotional immaturity is killing us. We have been maintaining a condo where my husband has been living with my son hoping he would be able to finish high school.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes When you experience an emotional upset – when you’re triggered emotionally, how do you typically react? Do you fight back or withdraw? In this moment, the brain takes action that makes it challenging to think rationally. There are reasons why this happens but, in most cases, it is an overreaction that results in more harm than good. We need to learn to recognize when it’s happening and take it off auto-pilot. In this episode, listeners will: Recognize when they’re overreacting emotionally Learn what to do when feeling triggered and reacting emotionally Communicate without escalating an emotional situation Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 This article was on the Huffington Post. It was titled, “9 Signs You Are Dealing with an Emotional Manipulator.” 06:37 Aware Appreciation. 08:53 When you experience an emotional upset – when you’re triggered emotionally, how do you typically react? Do you fight back or withdraw? 09:22 As we explore this topic today of being emotionally triggered and being in emotional pain, we need to learn to recognize how we respond when this triggering process happens. 16:17 In order to have long-term sustainable healing from this cycle of reacting in a way that’s not really serving you is to allow a period of emotional thawing. 18:48 If you typically react like a turtle, you may find the storms in your life unsettling. In fact, they may be downright frightening. 19:50 My son showed up this morning knocking on my bedroom window wanting to come in and warm up. He has been homeless for several days now since his girlfriend threw him out again.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes When you have an experience that is unpleasant, do you find yourself looking for something or someone to blame for it? And, if your focus lands on someone, do you feel compelled to let them know they have caused you pain? Lastly, when you do communicate your feelings, do you use shaming language? If you’re like most humans, your answers to these questions might stir some emotions. Even a “yes” might be met with thoughts of how your actions are justified. Blaming and shaming is a game that no one wins. There is another way. In this episode, listeners will: Learn how people experience shame Differentiate between guilt and shame Gain insight into the emotions recovery stakeholders will experience Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:56 This article that I’m going to talk about is from a website called Crosswalk. The title is, “Should you feel shame for missing church?” 04:37 Aware Appreciation. 06:52 When you have an experience that is unpleasant, do you find yourself looking for something or someone to blame for it? And, if your focus lands on someone, do you feel compelled to let them know they have caused you pain? 07:30 As we explore this Blame Shame Game, it’s important to acknowledge that Recovery Stakeholders dealing with an addict are regularly put under an enormous amount of pressure. 14:04 You may be wondering at this point why we would choose to communicate like this when it is so destructive. When we’re dealing with an addict, and shaming them, it’s literally like we’re pouring gasoline on the fire that is addiction. 15:46 Unless you’re living under a rock, you are going to interact with other humans. And, that will naturally lead to conflict at times. There’s no better teacher than experience. 16:39 My children are adopted. We could not have children and to say we were thrilled when these twin boys came into our lives is an understatement. We couldn't wait to be parents.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes Why doesn’t change stick? It defies logic that an addict would muscle their way to sobriety only to fall back into addiction’s trap. Yet it happens over and over. As Recovery Stakeholders, we have a lot at stake. We can relate on some level. We managed to make some change we really wanted to make. And before we even finished celebrating, we found ourselves right back where we started … maybe even worse off. It’s important to understand what causes relapse. Once we understand why it happens, we can get out in front of it to prevent it. In this episode, listeners will: Understand what causes relapse and how to avoid it Differentiate between relapse and a “slip” Learn the warning signs for a relapse and what the stakeholder’s role is in recovery Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 This article that I came across was in The Lasallian and it talks about this program that is focused on training families and helping professionals so that they better understand addiction 05:27 Aware Appreciation. 07:44 Why doesn’t change stick? It defies logic that an addict would muscle their way to sobriety, only to fall back into addiction’s trap. 08:20 I want to start by differentiating between a slip and a relapse. It’s important that we differentiate between these two terms because we’re going to treat a slip much differently than a full-blown relapse. 17:04 Our ReachYES Program at RecoverYES.com … we provide coaching and help point you in the right direction to get the additional help you need to deal with the issues that you are working with. 17:40 We use a phrase often at RecoverYES.com. “Muscling your way to sobriety.” You may have even heard me use this phrase today in this episode. 18:26 My son went to prison for three years for manufacturing meth. He’s been home for several months and I'm starting to worry. He is doing everything correct.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes It is helpful to understand the stages of change so that you can recognize them … for yourself and others. Trying to make a change when you haven’t moved to the appropriate stage will do nothing more than increase resistance. At a minimum, that will make the change process way more difficult. As Recovery Stakeholders, there are changes that everyone in the family system needs to make … that will make living with an addict (in recovery or not) much easier. In this episode, listeners will: Learn to ease the struggle that accompanies change Understand what is required to change any habit … and make it stick Discover the warning signs that flash before a relapse happens Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:13 I found this article at Psychcentral and I thought it was really interesting. I had not heard of this particular stage of change referred to in this way previously. 04:57 Aware Appreciation. 07:12 What happens when someone breaks through denial? They move into the next stage of change. It is helpful to understand the stages so that you can recognize them. 07:51 I want to open this episode by going through the Stages of Change with you so that you really understand what we’re working with here. 13:21 You want to focus a great deal of energy on the Determination, Planning and Preparation Stage. Create a good blueprint that addresses all the things … 19:16 It’s safe to say that any habit we’re engaging in is providing some relief. Of course, some habits are healthy and aren’t accompanied by unwanted side effects. 19:58 I see so many stories about multiple trips to rehab … up to 15 times. My 24 year old daughter is in rehab for the first time.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes As Recovery Stakeholders, you know that denial is not unique to someone struggling with addiction. Stakeholders also experience denial … not wanting to accept the reality of their loved one’s addiction. How do we recognize something we can't see? What if denial is actually serving a purpose? Could it be an unavoidable part of the change process? Rather than being frustrated by denial, let’s dig a little deeper to understand it. In this episode, listeners will: Learn when denial can serve a good purpose, and when it doesn’t Accept that denial happens, and determine what to do about it when encountered Deal with denial and prepare to make necessary changes without denial getting in the way Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:42 This article was on Today.com about David Cassidy. David Cassidy struggled with alcoholism many years ago and had an issue on stage not long ago. 05:00 Aware Appreciation. 07:15 You may have heard that the translation for the word denial is “Don’t Even kNow I Am Lying.” I’ve always had a problem with it because the word ‘know’ doesn’t start with an ‘n.’ 07:44 Let’s start by considering why people deny that something or anything is going on? Denial is actually a defense strategy to protect yourself from feeling pain or shame. 13:29 The most common way an addict (or even ourselves for that matter) are forced to deal with and breakthrough denial is that the consequences have become too great. 16:41 Breaking through denial typically requires a pattern interrupt ... a sort of intervention. In a moment of new awareness, we see (or hear) something differently. 17:16 My son told me he's an adult and he can do what he wants. He wants to get high (heroin). He says he's going to keep doing it. Of course, I'm devastated.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes There is tremendous value in expressing appreciation, especially when you do it with regularity. As a Recovery Stakeholder, you are living through a challenging situation. If you’re feeling like the world you live in is just too stressful to find things to appreciate, you’re not alone … and you have an even greater need to practice. Let’s find the motivation and learn how to do it to get the most benefit from it. In this episode, listeners will: Learn why Aware Appreciation is a beneficial practice Appreciate the positives in their lives, big and small Interrupt negative thinking with appreciation and move past negative emotions Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:43 This article was on Courant.com and it talks about the family’s experience. The person writing the piece is a lawyer. 05:42 Aware Appreciation. 07:57 Why do I take a couple of minutes in each episode to lead you through a mindfulness practice that ends with Aware Appreciation? There is tremendous value in expressing appreciation … 08:30 As a Recovery Stakeholder, you would be totally justified in finding things to criticize and complain about regularly. 12:09 I’m sure you’re thinking “Geez! Dr. Gala, I’m already practicing appreciation. What more do you want me to do?” 14:14 All I can say is just try it. Go get a copy of the Aware Appreciation Quick Start Guide at AwarenessAddicts.com/AA. Do it right now. Don’t delay. 15:36 My daughter got arrested last night. Her boyfriend is trying to contact me … I assume for help bailing her out. I think she’s better off in jail.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes Many Recovery Stakeholders have attended 12-step meetings to show support for the recovery process. While this can be an eye-opener, it can quickly become an act of codependence. Rather, the 12-step program that is appropriate for the Recovery Stakeholder is not the same program that an addict attends. These programs for family and friends of addicts are companion programs with a similar structure. Some find just what they need with these groups. Others find them lacking. In this episode, listeners will: Get an overview of the positives and negatives of 12-step Anon programs Learn about Anon programs for Recovery Stakeholders Find community resources that may help aid their own recovery Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:33 I like to find stories that help us know this to be true and this one is no different. This story is from a site called Hightimes.com. It talks about marijuana or cannabis, which is a topic that is quite controversial these days. 07:45 Aware Appreciation. 10:00 Many Recovery Stakeholders have attended 12-step meetings to show support for the recovery process. While this can be an eye-opener, it can quickly become an act of codependence. 10:34 The 12-step programs for stakeholders are commonly referred to as Anon programs … Al-Anon, Nar-Anon. CoDA is not really considered an Anon program because it’s not a companion program. 15:13 Some of the limitations of the 12-step programs are related to what I’ve just shared … that everybody is using the same piece of material. 18:22 You may have gathered that I see both sides of the coin where 12-step programs and Anon programs are concerned. 20:30 I'm feeling guilty. I asked my son and his girlfriend to leave my house. I just can't do it anymore more.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes In this episode of Recovery ReLOVution, we’re going to challenge you to focus on your own healing. It’s not just the addict that needs to recover. YOU need to recover as well. Most Recovery Stakeholders are so focused on helping their addicted loved one find their way to recovery that they have set their own needs aside. You’re not helping the addict find recovery when you’re not demonstrating what it looks like to live a full and fulfilling life. There’s only one person’s healing you can influence and that’s yours. In this episode, you will: Prioritize healing and well-being Relinquish control over the addicted loved one’s actions Accept that dealing with addicts is traumatizing, and find out how to get help Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:21 Today, we are talking about healing for yourself and for your loved one. One of the things in the way of healing is trauma. 07:10 Aware Appreciation. 09:24 Can you relate to this? A Recovery Stakeholder shared that she felt guilty because she was celebrating taking the time to have her hair styled. 09:51 I warned you that I’m going to turn the tables on you today. I’m going to challenge you to focus on your own healing. 15:13 What you may find even for yourself is that even if your addict is finding their way through this and they are sober just dealing with sober addict can be traumatizing. 17:57 Recovery Stakeholders are shocked when they meet with a therapist and are diagnosed with PTSD. Actually, it’s helpful to face the diagnosis. It should be taken seriously. 19:00 This is killing me from the inside out. How do I deal with the disappointment?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes If you use shame to try to motivate your loved one to make a change, it’s going to backfire. Are you wondering if you are shaming the addict? There’s a good chances you are. It’s difficult not to when faced with the crazy thoughtless behavior that accompanies addiction. Still . . . it isn’t helping. Most of us grew up believing that shame would motivate someone to change. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. In fact, it just fuels addiction … just the thing you’re hoping to stop. We need to take a different approach. In this episode, you will: Communicate shamelessly with your addicted loved one Learn what to do when you can’t say anything nice Motivate your addicted loved one the RIGHT way Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:50 In this particular story that I’m going to share with you today it was reported in Tennessean which is the newspaper in Tennessee national particularly. 06:39 Aware Appreciation. 08:53 Do you find yourself saying things like, “I can’t believe you’re so selfish.”? Or, “Why are you making such bad choices?” Or, “Are you blind to the damage you’re causing?” 09:27 If you’re living with an addict or in some sort of close relationship with an addict it is nearly impossible to avoid shaming them. 16:31 We need to demonstrate what it looks like to be loved and accepted and to not be codependent. 17:39 Most Recovery Stakeholders are codependent. It comes with the territory. And, one of the main symptoms of codependence is the lack of personal boundaries. 18:49 I feel the need to let her know how she has destroyed her family and children. Should I tell her how I feel?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes We need to set some realistic expectations for recovery … for you and your loved one. It’s going to require you to do some things differently, including setting healthy boundaries with your addicted family member. And, it is not for sissies. Most recovery stakeholders are so focused on helping their addicted loved one get sober that they’re blindsided when sobriety turns to relapse. What kinds of things will you need to do differently? In this episode, you will: Prioritize their own recovery and become educated Learn to set boundaries with an addicted loved one Understand realistic expectations for recovery Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:15 I found an article that I wanted to share with you from a newspaper in Ohio. It talks about a man named Norm Zent. 05:30 Aware Appreciation. 07:45 Most recovery stakeholders are so focused on helping their addicted loved one get sober that they’re blindsided when sobriety turns to relapse. 08:09 To start, you need to figure out what you should be focusing on. Most recovery stakeholders are focused on the addict and the crazy things they’re experiencing as a result of having an addicted loved one. 17:45 Just know that even if you are getting push back that being cautious and making your loved one have some seasoning to their recovery is best for all concerned. 18:09 My takeaway is that most Recovery Stakeholders are new to the term “personal boundaries” until they actually become a Recovery Stakeholder 19:07 I did tell him that he cannot come back and live with me. If his calls make me crazy, should I just stop taking them?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes Why do so many addicts relapse? For anyone that is not struggling with addiction, it makes no sense. But, since addiction is medicating some problem, the addict is going to have to find another form of medication that is equally effective. Easier said than done. That’s why they so often relapse. We suggest a different approach. Get to the underlying cause and treat the symptoms. In most cases, those symptoms include trauma. To deal with an addict in your family that is trying to cope with PTSD, you are going to need some help. In this episode, you will: Understand the effects of trauma on your mind and body Determine the root traumatic experience of your emotional reactions to stressors Learn the differences between PTSD and trauma Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:12 In the news recently, it was the Indy Star … there was an article talking about drug overdoses. In particular, how people who have overdosed are treated in the hospital. 04:10 Aware Appreciation. 06:26 Since addiction is medicating some problem, the addict is going to have to find another form of medication that is equally effective. Easier said than done. 07:00 Why is it important to understand trauma? If trauma is fueling these undesirable thoughts and ultimately the behaviors . . . 15:56 Trauma is not a one size fits all. The important thing is to know what’s going on with you. And, as you are trying to get to the bottom of what’s really going on with your loved one . . . 16:31 It is all too common to dismiss our traumatic life experiences. Hey, we survived! We shouldn’t be complaining. 17:38 How do I love the addict when he loves the drugs more than anything . . . including his family?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes   What comes after the intervention? Typically, a plan is already in motion. But is it going to get the job done? We’ll make sure you’re covering all the bases. Costs associated with addiction treatment can be staggering. But, the cost of not treating the problem could be the ultimate …. the end of life. How do you put together a course of treatment that will be effective and not break the bank? This episode will make sure you’re prepared. In this episode, you will: Understand different treatment options available for your loved one Understand the associated costs of treatment and what’s important Learn what to expect in treatment – realistic vs unrealistic expectations Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:43 The article says, "Extensive research has shown that receiving medical care and monitored support in the home promotes faster recovery, improves outcomes, and increases the patient's overall physical and psychological well-being." 04:04 Aware Appreciation. 06:29 How do you put together a course of treatment that will be effective and not break the bank? The key is to put the cart before the horse. Let me explain. 09:07 Let's start by looking at the cost. This is going to be a quick overview, but I just want to give you a few ideas of what to look for as you're putting a plan together. 15:14 It gives you some peace of mind. You don't have that constant worry and threat right under your roof. 16:10 If you don't treat the underlying symptom, there's no reason to believe that the addiction won't return. 17:00 My daughter got out of rehab today. She went to her counseling session and support group meeting . . . then relapsed.

RecoverYES.Com/Episodes We're going to discuss intervention. We're going to see it for what it is . . . and isn't. And, I'm going to introduce you to types of interventions that are probably new to you. You might be wondering how to do an intervention with someone you love … or even how to stage an intervention for addiction. If someone you care about is struggling with addiction, you may find yourself watching the show Intervention and hoping for answers or insight. Sometimes a formal intervention is the only way to stop the addictive behavior. But, stopping the behavior is not what's needed in the long term. It's important to approach intervention with a long-term mindset. In this episode, you will learn: About the different types of intervention How interventions can be used to help your loved one seek treatment How to prepare for an intervention for your loved one Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:29 I was brought to this post on the Huffington's post where a scholar was talking about the risks of military intervention. 03:31 Aware Appreciation. 05:59 Sometimes a formal intervention is the only way to stop the addictive behavior. But, stopping the behavior is not what's needed. . . 08:32 This is extremely helpful because a lot of times families just don't know what to do and what not to do. They end up enabling their addict loved one. 12:20 The problem with this type of intervention is that as a recovery stakeholder and as a ReLOVutionary we can't just sit around and wait for this to happen. 14:03 Well my takeaway is that intervention requires a long-term treatment plan, sometimes better to start with a few counseling sessions. . .even for yourself. 15:40 I was so concerned that my husband would leave that I snuck out to his car and ripped some wires out from under the hood.

When we are triggered emotionally, our thinking brain is taken offline so that we can focus on survival . . . fighting or running. Is it any wonder we don’t make great decisions when we’re angry? As ReLOVutionaries, we’re “amping up” the love. That’s going to require that our brain is fully functional! To make good choices and decisions, you need to learn to manage YOUR emotions. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:18 A few months ago, Ozzy Osbourne admitted that he struggles with sex addiction. His wife, Sharon, has reportedly found the news shocking. 03:45 Aware Appreciation. 05:59 It seems simple - right? They should be able to make better choices. 06:19 As humans there is no way of escaping that feeling of being overwhelmed by emotion. We refer to this as being emotionally triggered. 09:01 We are going into fight or flight response. We couldn’t make a good rational decision if our life depended on it. 12:46 We want life to feel exhilarating but that can quickly derail your contentment. This is actually one of the things that addicts who are considering recovery regularly say. 13:29 I just had a meltdown standing in my front yard screaming, "Stop the insanity," in the pouring rain. After 10 years of dealing with an addicted daughter, I've had it.

In this episode, we’re talking about codependence. As humans, it is virtually impossible to escape without falling prey to this affliction. Many Recovery Stakeholders share that they feel like worrying about their loved one that's struggling with addiction is a full-time job. It can be challenging to break out of that web of confusion. You need to find a new job . . . one that prioritizes taking care of yourself. There are ways to keep codependence from consuming you. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:10 Recently, Carrie Fisher, the Star Wars sweetheart suffered a heart attack on an airplane and died a few days later. 03:24 Aware Appreciation. 05:38 Many Recovery Stakeholders share that they feel like worrying about their loved one that's struggling with addiction is a full time job. 08:39 A lot of people who have a compulsive personality do find that they are all or nothing. They are 100% in it or 100% out of it. 11:25 This image includes stop behaviors, warning sign behaviors that indicate you are treading on thin ice and, healthy behaviors. 11:54 Codependence is so seductive. We are tricked into believing that we will be loved and appreciated commensurate with how codependent we are. 16:45 I had kicked him out before because of all the lying and stealing. Am I stupid for giving him a second chance?

You know you need to do things differently but the people in your world . . . especially the addict . . . are probably not thrilled with your newfound approach to dealing with them or their problems. If you're trying to set and hold boundaries with an addict, you WILL face blow back. Addicts are masterful manipulators. Let's make sure you're prepared. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:10 We live in Hilton Head, South Carolina. In the last few months, we were hit by two hurricanes. 03:20 Aware Appreciation. 05:38 If you're trying to set and hold boundaries with an addict, you WILL face blow back. Addicts are masterful manipulators. Let's make sure you're prepared. 08:47 Most of us set boundaries really easilyy but we don’t hold them. Or, maybe we don’t set them because we are fearful that we won’t hold them. 11:11 Then there is the thoughtful, loving, and intimate way of setting boundaries which is what I encourage you to develop. 12:29 In order to survive the storm that is addiction, you need to carefully plan the boundaries you set . . . so that you can hold them. 12:50 I'm at the end of my rope. I'm a wreck and need advice.

In this episode, Dr. Gala helps you understand how addiction really works and what it’s trying to accomplish. If you are a recovery stakeholder, you'll be challenged to think differently as we dig deeper into ways that we can outsmart addiction. It is helpful to see addiction ... not really as an enemy but rather ... as a friend. And, it has served the addict well but its usefulness has come to an end. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:03 Now, Johann Hari is definitely a recovery stakeholder. He had a number of family members that had struggled with addiction and it caused him to launch into several years of intense researching around the war on drugs. 03:40 Aware Appreciation. 05:57 If you're dealing with a loved one that is struggling with addiction, it is understandable that you would be cynical. Nothing you've done has made a difference . . . yet . . . What do we mean by outsmarting addiction? 11:16 Addiction is just a symptom of an underlying cause. Maybe you’ve started putting that together from what I’m sharing with you here today. 11:52 The addict brain is pretty smart but we are smarter. We can see what is happening and why it is happening 12:47 That is why I’m sharing with you a little bit of information to help you understand how addiction really works and what it’s trying to accomplish.   13:43 I am so upset and need advice. My son is in jail for stealing a car.

The stakeholder relationship is really important. Once you understand what it is, you will see it at work in many situations. As a recovery stakeholder, you have a stake in your loved ones’ recovery. You have a stake in seeing recovery stick. So, we coined the term recovery stakeholder. It seemed appropriate and most people that we have talked to that are in this boat agree. The important thing to recognize is that it is a slippery slope for a stakeholder to become codependent with the person that they are in relationship with.        Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:36   She talks about how she can see now that she enabled him as he was growing up . . . just trying to be a good mom that wanted life to be a little easier for her son.   02:13   Aware Appreciation.  04:28   Are you still scratching your head a bit? Wondering, what a recovery stakeholder is? And, even if you are one? Let’s start with defining recovery stakeholders.   09:34   Make sure that you are not enabling the addict and prolonging the inevitable.  10:54   Whatever your relationship is with that person, at a certain point, they have to take responsibility for the issue.   15:38   Sometimes, the only thing we can do is to just confront the craziness that we are in the middle of and say, “That is the addiction talking.”   16:45   I am feeling torn. I hadn't heard from my son in over a week. He texted me yesterday and, once again, blamed my husband and I for what's going on in his life.