The Fallout Lounge

If you've been twiddling your opposables. waiting for just the right moment to catch up on the Fallout Lounge, your derelict ship has come in. Seven, count 'em, seven sketches, each one honed to a glossy comedic sheen, lined up like chuckle soldiers for your ears to inspect. So download, guffaw, and then, well, then you'll want to subscribe! You'll also want to write us a comment, or a sonnet if you're really inspired. Not to mention you'll be moved to give us a 5-star rating. You can follow us on Threads and Instagram at @falloutlounge. We won't sell you merch. Not our merch, anyway. You're welcome to our vintage "Hall & Oates: We Hate Each Other Tour" t-shirt, though. 

If the world makes no sense and you're grasping for answers, you're in luck. Here's God--yes, THAT God--to explain everything.   Written and produced by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Dave Gerbosi, Russell Arons, Meg Ruddy, and Will Becton. Music, sound design, and mix by David Gerbosi. 

American history will be made this week, and the week after that (it's how history works). But if you don't want to wait, here's a spoiler! Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Andy Bobrow, Meg Ruddy, Dave Gerbosi, and Bob Merlotti. Music, sound design, and mix by David Gerbosi. 

Happy Holidays from the Fallout Lounge! May your days be merry and bright--although this classic sketch oughta tamp that brightness down a bit. Written, directed, and produced by Bob Merlotti. Voice by David Pasquesi. Sound design, music and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

It's up to all of us to leave the world a little better than we found it. That said, we're under no contractual obligation to do so. Written, directed, and produced by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Andrés duBouchet, Meg Ruddy, and Kathy Nagler (get well soon, Kathy!). Mix and sound design by Dave Gerbosi. 

It's your patriotic duty to be an informed voter. And to be an informed voter, you must listen to hyperbolic political ads introducing new candidates. Hey, there's one right here! Written, directed, and produced by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andrés duBouchet, Dennis Ryan, and Meg Ruddy. Sound design, music, and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

There's only one Barbra Streisand, and in her latest offering to her adoring fans, there's only one note. Written, directed, and produced by Bob Merlotti. Vocals by Kathy Nagler. Voices by Kathy Nagler, Dennis Ryan, Chris Cady, Monica Orozco, and Katherine Pryor. Sound design, music, and mix by Dave Gerbosi.

Tired of the same old World Wars on Netflix? Then hold onto your camo shorts, because you're ready for the next level of combat entertainment! Written, directed, and produced by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Andy Bobrow, Kathy Nagler, Meg Ruddy, Chris Cady, Dave Gerbosi, and Bob Merlotti. Sound design, music, and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

It's time for the game show that answers the question, "How badly do you want to be on television?" Park your dignity at the studio door and humiliate yourself for fame, cash, and merchandise! Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andrés duBouchet, TV's John Montgomery, Meg Ruddy, Chris Cady, Russell Arons, Dave Gerbosi, and Bob Merlotti. Sound design, music, and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

When you want the very best in bottled water, when price is no object and your moral compass hasn't left the junk drawer in years, reach for an ice-cold Puerta al Cielo! Let the parched naysayers call it "blood water"--we call it thirst-quenching!  Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andrés duBouchet, Chris Cady, and Russell Arons. Sound design, music, vocals, and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

It's football season! Time for every American to stock up on beer, artery-clogging foodstuffs, and to become an amateur expert on concussion protocol! It's also time for what promises to be a perennial favorite--or at least a perennial repost. Voices by both our regular cast and the proverbial "cast of thousands." Sound design and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

Summer's almost over. If you haven't planned a trip yet, why not visit a quaint little hamlet unspoiled by crass tourism? Voices by Andrés duBouchet, Dave Gerbosi, Russell Arons, and Chris Cady. Sound design and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

Finally, a bipartisan podcast you can share with friends across the political spectrum! We consider this a modern spin on School House Rock's "I'm Just a Bill"--with a happy ending. Voices by Andrés duBouchet, Dave Gerbosi, Russell Arons, and Bob Merlotti. Sound design and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

Many of you have a little extra time on your hands right now, whether you're engaged in a leisurely game of Jarts or joining your entertainment colleagues for a midday stroll. In any case, please enjoy this compilation, which features seven of our latest sketches. It'll provide your ears with a half-hour of summer distraction while you chase the ice cream truck or demand a living wage. Download, subscribe, and, while you've got the free time, please give us a 5-star rating as a sign of solidarity. And follow us on Threads and Instagram at @falloutlounge. 

The trouble with most afterlifes is that you have to commit to them sight unseen. Wouldn't it be better if you were matched with an afterlife based on your beliefs, or lack thereof? Now, you can be! Voices by David Pasquesi, Andy Bobrow, Russell Arons, and Dave Gerbosi. Sound design and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

Why haven't bidets caught on in the U.S.? We definitely consume enough Taco Bell products to warrant their use. Finally, there's an American-made bidet that'll make you squat down and take notice! Voices by Barry Burdiak, Andrés duBouchet, Kathy Nagler, Russell Arons, Dave Gerbosi, and Bob Merlotti. Sound design, music, and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

The golden age of adult movies didn't happen by accident. It took the efforts of dedicated, hard-working individuals. Give a listen and gain some respect for the titans who once ruled the porn industry. Voices by Andrés duBouchet, Andy Bobrow, and Russell Arons. Sound design and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

We can all agree that one of our most welcoming, friendly states is Hawaii--the Aloha State! That is, of course, unless you owe Hawaii money. Then they play hard coconut. VO by Andrés duBouchet, Music, vocals, and mix by Dave Gerbosi. 

Let's pause to honor a recently fallen cast member, Pope Benedict XVI, who right this very moment may be looking down and wishing us struck by lightning for claiming him as a cast member. Or looking up, who knows! And if you pray really hard, a brand new sketch will ascend from the underworld next week! 

The New York Times' hugely popular podcast "The Daily," hosted by Michael Barbaro, provides listeners with in-depth reporting and analysis on the important issues of the day. But until now, you couldn't dance to it.  Written by Bob Merlotti.  Mix by Dave Gerbosi.

Scientists, PETA, and the entertainment community are in agreement that live primates should not be used in film. But what do monkeys have to say? Voices by David Pasquesi, Kathy Nagler, and Dennis Ryan. Mix by Dave Gerbosi.

New listener? Wonder what the Fallout Lounge is all about, or where to start? This trailer will give you the details you need to begin your comedic journey (spoiler alert: it ends in a dark alley behind Long John Silver's). 

Friday the 14th, walking in front of a ladder, and a killer asteroid hitting the planet next to you. That's the thrill of near catastrophe you'll feel when you listen to our latest compilation. Six hilarious sketches, stitched together like a Human Centipede, each one barely skirting disaster. Should you download it? Share? Subscribe? Yes, all of those things, lest you anger our intern Jason, who murders his victims while they're listening to unfunny podcasts. 

The recent HBO documentary about Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward drew critical raves and fresh tomatoes. But there's more to the story, as we recently learned by bugging the Newman's Own boardroom. Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Russell Arons, and Dave Gerbosi. Sound design and mix by Dave Gerbosi.

Once in a blue election cycle, an artist emerges with their stubby finger on the faint pulse of the nation. Share this alternative national anthem with a patriot who's bullish about America! Written by Bob Merlotti. Vocals, music, and mix by Dave Gerbosi.

Even the most rabid NFL fan can watch only so many concussions before they crave an expert to analyze those concussions. This halftime show has everything you'll ever need. Ever. Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andrés duBouchet, David Pasquesi, Andy Bobrow, Patrick Schumacker, Kathy Nagler, Chris Cady, Barry Burdiak, Meg Ruddy, Dennis Ryan, TV's John Montgomery, Dave Merhar, Dave Gerbosi, Susan Gerbosi, Dave "News" Hughes, and Bob Merlotti.  Sound design and mix by Dave Gerbosi.

Some days you're the fly, some days you're the windshield, and some days you stick your hand in a toaster oven. Written by Bob Merlotti. Voice by David Pasquesi, and introducing "Luna" and "Wolfie."  Mix by Dave Gerbosi.

It's time to paint over Pantone Color of the Year 2021 with a sassy new selection. Color us mixing a strong drink. Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Kathy Nagler, Barry Burdiak, Meg Ruddy, and Stevie Sant'Angelo. Mix by Dave Gerbosi.

Tired of non-alcoholic beers that lack gusto? Hoist three sheets to the wind with the bold new NA brew that's cresting with flavor! Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Barry Burdiak, Chris Cady, Meg Ruddy, Kathy Nagler, Dennis Ryan, TV's John Montgomery, Dave Gerbosi, and Bob Merlotti. Music and mix by Dave Gerbosi.

We've procrastinated all summer, and it's been one big, fat Target chaise longue of contentment. But now that all twelve compilations are displayed in a row for you to snatch up like an end-aisle display of RC Cola, the time has come for new material. Beginning next week, fresh sketches will drop like a coast-to-coast water balloon. So wrap up your summer romances and get that prickly heat rash looked at, because your favorite podcast is about to snap you out of your sweaty, procrastinating summer malaise. 'Til then, download, share, subscribe and review. We know you're not busy, we've seen your lawn. 

In sweaty anticipation of all-new Season 5, we're unloading our old sketches for pennies on the dollar! Make us an offer on the patriotic adult book store sketch. Grab a bargain on the "Racist Johnny Appleseed" sketch! We can't say no offer is too insulting, because we're constantly humiliated--but that said, everything must go! C'mon, step into our massive sketch garage sale and breathe in the savings! Take a good, deep whiff of the comedy value! Nestle it in your convulsing-from-laughter lungs. We'll see you in the podcast ICU, if you're lucky.

"You won't get ten laughs out of this so called 'comedy program' of yours," the big-time agent scoffed, slamming the door in our faces. "We'll show him!" we said, full of more bravado than experience. Midway through Season Three, we had a total of four confirmed laughs--one of them clocked at 7.8 on the Garretty Guffaw Scale. We decided to alter our focus in Season Four, claiming in a Scientific American interview that the most advanced comedy produced chin-stroking contemplation, not laughs. Spoke too soon, because that's the moment we got six more laughs, putting us at the magic number. Triumphantly returning to the big-time agent, we got the door slammed in our faces once again. But this time we did the slamming, which is really hard to choreograph, if you've ever tried it. 

Space: dark, cold, not worth exploring. Yet here we are, trying to locate a fixer-upper galaxy with potential. Will science find a place for rich assholes to escape before Earth goes belly up? Given that we haven't yet figured out how to get from Silver Lake to Santa Monica in less than an hour, probably not. Still, we boldly go where no man has gone before--unmanned. Explore this compilation, and remember the peculiarities of the comedy space-time continuum; this was funny when it was uploaded 22  light-years ago. 

Much like our national pastime of shooting each other, this week marks the traditional halfway mark of the baseball season. Also, we're 50% of the way to humanity's demise! And what better way to honor the stretch run of our extinction than this compilation, which mocks not only sacred cows, but also sacred Popes, sacred Hollywood stars, and sacred podcast norms. Listen, you can bellyache about mankind's impending doom, or you can spend mankind's impending doom laughing 'til your belly aches. The choice is yours, soon-to-be-obliterated comedy fan! 

It's time for rocket's red glare and fingers blowing off in air. That's right, Independence Day, and while you may not feel like watching fireworks, you can still light the fuse of comedy, have the fuse fizzle for a bit and then appear to go out, and then stick your head in to check what the problem may be, and have comedy go off in your face. This compilation was our first of Season 3, and features material strong enough to defeat King George from Hamilton. Which is no small feat, as he was really funny!   

It was the worst of times, it was the shittiest of times. Gripped by fear that the Soviets were undermining democracy through comedy, brave white Senators held serious hearings about the country's need for seriousness. Joy buzzers and seltzer bottles were banned, and dropping one's pants in public to reveal boxer shorts with little hearts on them became a felony. The grim era ended when Senator Frederick Payne of Maine (our least-funny state) tried to blame a chambers-rattling fart on a whoopie cushion. We dedicate this compilation to the comedians whose careers were ruined during the "Scourge of Scowls." The good ones, not Milton Berle, who eluded scrutiny by never being funny. 

Our fifth compilation features a litany of reasons why your summer is going to eat a biggie. But nobody likes a swelter-spoiler, so dig those mangled earbuds out of your sweat-stained tricot-mesh swimsuit pocket, tune into these seven hilarious sketches, and sink your flip-flops into the bubbling Trader Joe's parking lot until you stick and the asphalt oozes between your toes. Your screams will be interspersed with laughs for an entirely new auditory experience. 

When The Fallout Lounge premiered, the comedy cognoscenti didn't give us a chance. "More like Fallout Lounge DEAD!" sniffed SNL's Lorne Michaels. But defying the odds, we were renewed for a second season, which we cheekily dubbed "Season 2." Listenership grew, and we dropped some of our funniest sketches yet. Mr. Michaels remained unconvinced, locking himself in his office for a day and emerging with, "More like 'The Fallout Scrounge'--for jokes!" Clearly, our little sketch comedy program had struck a nerve. "Who cares? We still have Pete Davidson and Kate McKinnon," the legendary producer sulked, "They'll never leave." 

Our third compilation landed us in hot water with politicians, the tech industry, and Hitler enthusiasts (turns out there's some overlap). Yet despite this "canceling" from "elites," "dicks," and "Third Reich aficionados" (again, some Venn diagram overlap), we trudged forward. Our listenership grew. And now, as the most popular podcast of a tiny, as yet unrecognized generation, we humbly ask you, dear listener: shouldn't we be able to laugh at ourselves? And laugh even harder at jerkoff spigots?

Here's the second compilation we dropped, containing the first sketches we recorded. Sort of like when the Beatles recorded the songs for Let it Be, then Abbey Road, and released them in reverse order. Admittedly, nobody's made a documentary of our sessions, much less a second documentary of the same sessions. That hasn't happened, yet. On the other hand, you'll laugh harder at this than Ringo's fart in Get Back. Come together, ear pods.   

Here's our very first compilation, from way back in 2019. If you're a new listener, we're guessing you haven't heard it yet (we like to make uninformed assumptions like that). Do the sketches hold up, three years later? Given that several of them deal with a dystopian society careening toward disaster, boy howdy, do they! P.S. Don't worry, it's hilarious disaster.

Smart infants like Hobo Baby shop at Mak V Children's Boutique. If you're a smart baby or the parent of one, you should, too. 

Our capstone to Season 4 is a turgid tubesteak of mirth ready to shove down your comedy-hungry ear gullet. Over 27 minutes of toothsome merriment. Please subscribe and give us a positive review (not like the Yelp review you left for that poor mom and pop diner. They're out of business now, hope you're happy.)

Due to popular condemnation, we've decided to line this instantly-infamous sketch up with the liturgical calendar. Perhaps we'll make this an annual event, like Edward G. Robinson smoking unfiltered Camels in The Ten Commandments. Voices by David Pasquesi, Barry Burdiak, Andrés du Bouchet, Andy Bobrow, Dennis Ryan, Dave Gerbosi, Meg Ruddy, and Bob Merlotti.  Mix and music by Dave Gerbosi. 

Vegas has Roman-themed casinos, French-themed casinos, and the most populous culture, Douchebag-themed casinos. But until now, there's never been a casino that shows gamblers how casinos eke out a living. Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andrés du Bouchet, Kathy Nagler, Meg Ruddy, Dennis Ryan, Barry Burdiak, Dave Gerbosi, and Bob Merlotti.  Mix and music by Dave Gerbosi. 

Hollywood elites are just like you and me, except far better looking and with NFT Bored Ape Yacht Club money. Now, for the first time, hear for yourself what lovely people they are when the cameras are off. Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andrés du Bouchet, Helen O'Brien, Meg Ruddy, and Dave Gerbosi.  Mix and music by Dave Gerbosi. 

Foreign correspondents are invaluable, bringing us news from dangerous locales at great personal risk. It's vital they take every precautionary measure possible to stay safe--in fact, we encourage them to really get creative with it.  Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Meg Ruddy, and Chris Cady.  Mix and music by Dave Gerbosi. 

The events leading up to Easter Sunday have been studied by biblical scholars for centuries. But what happened immediately after? "Let he, she, or they who have ears hear." (Matthew Podcast 11:15).  Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by David Pasquesi, Barry Burdiak, Andrés du Bouchet, Andy Bobrow, Dennis Ryan, Dave Gerbosi, Meg Ruddy, and Bob Merlotti.  Mix and music by Dave Gerbosi. 

It's awards season here in Hollywood, which means not only interminable, self-aggrandizing speeches, but also dragging older legends up on stage for young, attractive people to applaud for not being dead yet.  Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andrés du Bouchet, Meg Ruddy, Barry Burdiak, and Helen O'Brien.  Mix and music by Dave Gerbosi. 

We don't normally promote other podcasts, but we're making an exception this week because we're unabashed blues aficionados, and want to help this singularly-talented artist gain new fans.   Written by Bob Merlotti. Voices by Andy Bobrow and Shannon Bobo, Music by Dave Gerbosi. And introducing vocalist Felix "Polecat" Johnson, as himself. 

If 13 croissants comprises a "baker's dozen," then an asshole baker would give you 11 stale cronuts. Enjoy our 11th installment of your favorite sketches stitched together. Twenty-eight minutes of back-to-back laughs (if the backs are socially distancing). Remember to subscribe, give us a 5-star rating, and send it to your friends who are most likely to download malware.