Alcoholics Eponymous with Xander O'Connor

Canadian Doubles minus one episode alert! That's right, it's a good old fashioned two man episode as Xander and Josh see what words tumble out of their mouths. Every cohost gets a doubles episode with Xander so let's see if Josh lives up to the high standards set by Ben Russell and Michael Grush.   He doesn't. But it's a damn fine episode regardless.   We review George Clooney blood aka Casamigos Tequila Blanco. We also get into some classic hot 'segs' and talk a bunch of nonsense about rubbish.   If you are brand new to this show and want to see what a normal episode is like, try ep. 100 (last Chicago one) or ep. 101. Those are solid, standard four person shows.   Search words for iTunes searchy-mc-search-search robots: tequila, blanco, resposado, anejo, booze, liquor, review, score, rating, comedy, ostensibly funny, improv, jokes, seriouses, statements, questions, ampersands, words, words, words

If you like hot-mess episodes of classic podcasts, you are going to want to catch this episode where Xander, Josh, Graham, and special guest Xander's Dad aka Tim O'Connor MD aka Guy-Who-Knows-Wine-And-Hyphens.   Rather than review one type of alcohol, this episode features a few random wines (and our thoughts on them) and a bunch of questions for the wine-wisdom font that is Dr. Dad. There are also a couple classic stupid segments.   If you are a dedicated fan of this show or want a decent chunk of wine knowledge (but maybe fewer laughs), check out this episode. If you are new to the show and want a more representative sample, we recommend the previous episode, ep. 101.   Search terms for iTunes robot overlords (don't look at them, you fleshy idiots!): wine, red, white, reisling, booze, alcohol, review, score, rating, port, comedy, BUTTS, jokes, improv, BUTTS, and, of course...BUTTS.

Feel the hot sun of a podcast recorded in Los Angeles! Then get checked by your dermatologist! Finally, go see a typographer about your use of exclamation points!!! So, at long last, here is episode 101 of our fine, dumb, fine podcast, semi-freshly relocated from Chicago to Los Angeles. The location has changed, the co-host has changed, but all the arguably objectionable nonsense Xander and the guests spout is the same! So come join Xander, temporary/adjunct/ersatz cohost Josh Logan, and guests Alex Haney and (returning champ) Graham Jenkins as they taste inexpensive bubbly and debate the important topics of the day like "should you bring your sex sponge to work functions?" and "does the human hand count as a reusable container?". Hilarity ensues? Rest assured, if you play the podcast into your head-holes, the ensuing hilarity will have ensued.   Search keywords for iTunes robot overlords (humans, avert your fleshy gazes!): alcohol, champagne, cava, bubbly, review, score, rating, booze, comedy, jokes, silly, improv, stand up, sit down, touch your toes, rinse, repeat, keep rinsing until Jesus deems you clean!, are you still sitting down while touching your toes and rinsing and repeating? You better be; I didn't say stop! Aaaand...stop.

This episode is a multi-threat! It is: the 100th episode! Xander's 33rd Birthday episode! The last Chicago episode! a special 5 person episode! and, last but definitely least, co-host Grush's last episode (till he sacks up and moves to LA)!   Join Darren Stephens, Travis Gilkeson, David "Coach" Lintzenich, Grush, and Xander as they sip the guaranteed-awesome Corzo Tequila Blanco and embark on an almost two hour long journey of verbal nonsense. This episode is a perfect cap to the first "hundo" as it is "a laff riot" (LA Dispatch-Picayune), "functionally audible" (Dubuque Audiophile Quarterly), and "not necessarily in good taste" (Fake Reviews Daily). Seriously, whether you are a fan of the show or this is your first episode, it is worth a listen. Taste the last drops of Chicago based and Grush co-hosted AE goodness. Nay, greatness! Nay again, very goodness.   iTunes keywords for robots and their human quisling allies: alcohol, booze, tequila, review, score, rating, comedy, improv, funny, funny tasting, stand up, sit down, roll over, bad dog, put him to sleep, no, not that kind of sleep, you dog murderer! drink, eat, be merry, be Mary, if you are so inclined, be wary lest ye fall befoul of the Ides of (insert month here). Thanks fans and everyone who has listened this far and read this much of the standard dumb iTunes keywords bit! And yeah, this is a secret thank you for super fans.

This podcast could be described as Xander and Grush "rolling deep" with Samuel Priest and Carl Bowlby, but it shouldn't be. That's silly and also two people doesn't constitute "deep" vis-a-vis crew rolling size. Look, I don't want to get into a long thing about the appropriate terms for crew-depth, OK? Let's talk about the podcast. Xander, Grush, Sammy P, and the Bowl (nickname approval pending) review the lovely Twelfth of Never Ale (which just caused me to realize that I struggle to spell "twelfth") and talk a whole lot of nonsense. Anything else used to describe it would be superfluous and, frankly, a poor way to spend my finger-force and your eye-juice. Why don't you just pop it in your skull and find out?   keywords for iTunes robot over and underlords: booze, alcohol, beer, ale, IPA, score, rating, jokes, stand up, improv, comedy, Chicago, people, places, things, gerunds, gerunding (my favorite gerund), Geralt of Rivia, Gerald of Butler, a snowman made of butter I call Gerald Butterman. End communication.

And thus we emerge from the mists of time...and laziness.  Behold our antepenultimate Chicago episode of the show: taking on Goldschlager's with Grush, Dr. Emily Beers, and Non-Dr. Travis Gilkeson.   This episode originally was a rare topical episode that relentlessly attacked renowned garbage-human Donald J. Trump (hence drinking a stupid, stupid, stupid gimmick drink like Goldschlager) but history since we recorded has turned making fun of him a lot less, uh, fun (for now). The show has been edited to remove basically all of that content.   What remains is classic Alcoholics Eponymous fun word nonsense.  Put it in your head-zone!   Keywords for iTunes robots (humans, stay back! Human quislings working for the robots...have at it): alcohol, review, booze, liquor, score, rating, jokes, comedy, silly, improv, stand up, schnapps, oh snaps, dayummm, ta-dow, te-bow, te-stern, te-extension of premise.

Here it is: a famous Alcoholics Eponymous DOUBLES EPISODE!   And now prepare to be disappointed: that means that this episode is just Xander and Grush, carrying the weight of four people (while appropriately enough having the actual combined weight of four people). We still have all the hot nonsense talk of a normal episode and all the hot nonsense segments with no dead weight; suck it, previous guests!   And yes, we do know that doubles tennis has four people in it.   In addition to discussing all things of worth (wildly inappropriately, of course), we review a limited edition Delirium Tremens called "Deliria". So, if you want a super inefficient way to find out about that beer, listen to this episode. Or don't. I am not your dad. Probably.   iTunes searchwords for Apple flavored robots: Belgian beer, ale, booze, liquor, review, score, rating, comedy, improv, stand up, jokes, silly, Chicago, fists, fisticuffs, fisting, cufflinks, fistlinks, Skynet has fists! Run for your lives!

What goes better with a creamy white boozy drink than...DEATH?!? Answer: this podcast. Grush and Xander welcome back Coach (David Lintzenich) and Dr. Lady Doctor Death MD, Emily Beers (who may or may not also be Xander's fiancee!). The not-boresome foursome don't discuss death all that much but they do talk a lot of nonsense while drinking the eminently unobjectionable White Russians. There is silliness. A great deal. Put it in your brainbox via your skull sound cavities.   keywords for iTunes robotic overlords (meatbags avert your gaze!): booze, alcohol, liquor, kahlua, vodka, review, score, rating, comedy, jokes, stand up, improv, funny, silly, billy, Chicago, high fives, medium fives, down low...too slow...oh no, don't take your missed high five rage out on me! Please, no!!!! Ow, ow, ow, you are high fiving my genitals! I have many regrets!!

You know the drill: get out of the car and run around it and get back in. OK, maybe that isn't the drill in this particular instance of "knowing the drill". Join Xander, Grush, Wes, and Patrick Zunich as they review a sweet blue juice that contains 12.5% alcohol. Unsurprisingly, the child-mouthed Grush loves it (spoiler alert! Too late! Also, better than him mouthing a child, to be fair). More importantly, the episode of course is mostly fun nonsense including a PSA from a universe of exclusively conjoined twins and a love advice letter about how to propose to a woman with no fingers. Energy veal patties also make an appearance.    search terms for iTunes robot overlords: comedy, funny, silly, jokes, stand up, improv, Chicago, alcohol, booze, 151, review, rating, score, horse race, horse meat, glue glue glue, horse face, horse face meat glue in a race (it loses)

Michael Grush, Aaron Sutherland, Xander O'Connor, and Wes Nott walked into a podcast studio. There was also a priest, a rabbi, and a giant duck. Knock knock. What do you get when you cross two hacky joke structures? Like a certain number of licks, the world may never know.   Join us as we drink the terribly named but very fun and tasty Irish Car Bombs and, as usual, get really inappropriate and riff on some lovely nonsense.   (Like the last episode (93), this episode would be an excellent first one to hear if you are new to the show. It is both pretty great and also representative of what the show is about; if you don't like this episode, it is probably not the show for you).   Search terms for iTunes robots: comedy, funny, silly, jokes, improv, stand up, Chicago, booze, liquor, alcohol, review, score, rating, nickles, dimes, nickle and dime someone, eat a piggy bank's pork chops, drop a dime on someone, eat a bag of pennies and then regret it.

The following four men were painfully turned into audio files via an ancient gypsy steampunk curse machine and then bewitched into haunting this particular episode of the podcast for all time: David "Coach" Lintzenich, Travis "His first name is Steve" Gilkeson, Michael "Please just call me Grush" Grush, and, of course, Xander "Xander O'Connor" O'Connor. Listen to their trapped voice-souls suffer for your amusement! They review the surprisingly pleasant Grey Goose vodka and tell a troubled couple how to deal with being covered in pubes.  In other words, a normal episode of the show. This episode could also be described as a great place to start if you have never head the podcast before; it essentially captures what we are all about (wildly time consuming humorous digressions bookended by talking about the drink). Put it inside your body's head.   Search keywords for Apple's unflinching horde of sentient cybersearch robot overlords and overladies (humans, avert your gaze): alcohol, booze, vodka, spirits, drink, review, score, rating, comedy, silly, funny, jokes, stand up, improv, chat, St. Splatrick's Day, St. Hattrick's Day, St. Fat-trick's Week, why are you still reading this day? Funyuns.

Mike Gifford. Boom. Pat Zunich. Blammo. Michael Grush. Pew-Pew. Xander O'Connor *vroom...machine gun mouth noise...'aaggh, I'm on fire and have no legs'*   Join these four human shaped men for a shockingly inefficient review of West Cork Irish Whiskey and for a bunch of wildly inappropriate nonsense.   iTunes search keywords for Apple robots and cyborgs: comedy, funny, silly, jokes, stand up, improv, Chicago, review, score, rating, booze, whisky, whiskey, drinks, chat, le chat, le chat mange le chien, le chien est finis, quel dommage, sacre bleu cheese

Man down! Man down! That said, you should listen to this fine episode of this hot hot pod even though it is a "man down". Join Xander, Rebecca Quirke, and Wes Nott as they soldier on without regular cohost, irregular human Grush.   Somehow they make it through and talk lots of lovely nonsense and review Johnny Walker Black scotch (the drinking might have helped them survive Grush's temporary absence).   Ask yourself this: can you afford NOT to listen to this podcast? Actually, don't bother, here's the answer: no, you isn't.   iTunes robot search term list (fleshbag humans, avert your gaze!): alcohol, whisky, whiskey, booze, review, score, rating, funny, comedy, silly, stand up, improv, Chicago, jokes, spokes, blokes, Coke-zeroes, Cock-Heroes, Beer-O's

From the present mists of ancient Ireland comes a mystical moonshine called "poutin" (pronounced "putcheen").  Spoiler alert: like most moonshines, it ain't great. Hear Xander, Grush, Wes, and guest Kindred Cook suffer through the Glendalough poutin whilst, in their inimitable fashion, talking wildly inappropriate nonsense and bollocks (yes, both nonsense AND bollocks...they are clearly different). This episode is also a fine place to start if you are new to the world of Alcoholics Eponymous as it represents well both all that can be enjoyed in the podcast and all that can be reviled and put-offing. Enjoy? Enjoy. Enjoy (Interrobang)?! Enjoy!   search term words for iTunes robots (meatbags avert your fleshy gaze!): comedy, funny, silly, jokes, improv, stand up, booze, review, rating, score, Chicago, locations, other locations, dislocations, sprains, head wounds

Join Xander, Grush, Wes, and Travis as they memorialize the late great Johan Engels (world famous theater and opera production designer) by reviewing the wine he gave the show (Goats Do Roam) and by doing what they always do: talk total nonsense.   We had hoped to have Johan himself on to review this wine but sadly that chance has passed so instead we have fun in his memory.  Rather than a dour show, though, we do our standard aggressively silly bollocks talk that Johan once called "wonderfully naughty".   So, one last time, Rest in Peace, Johan.     iTunes robot search term words (avert your human eyes!): Chicago, booze, alcohol, wine, review, score, rating, red wine, cotes du rhone, silly, funny, comedy, improv, sketch, stand up, peanut brittle, how brittle are those peanuts?, not very brittle, it is a bit of a misnomer

What do Xander, Wesley Nott, Joe Daniel, and Chris Crackdown have in common?  They all have human legs attached to their human torsos!   Also: they are all on this fine, full-bodied episode of the podcast.  Turn on, Tune in, Drop A Hot Load, Pod Own Face.   We talk a lot of nonsense (surprisingly) and give Sam Adams Oktoberfest a fairly thorough review thanks to the better-than-average beer afficianados present.   So put this pod in your skull; you are overdue for a good life choice, for once.   Keywords for iTunes robot overlords: beer, booze, alcohol, review, rate, score, good, comedy, stand up, improv, funny, silly, Chicago, dicks, dicks, dicks, butts

Are you into Britt-Marie Sivertson?  How about Pat "Thorpe" Zunich? I would ask if you are into Michael Grush or Xander O'Connor but we all know the answer to that question is a dispiriting "no".    If you answered yes to any of the above or are curious about an excellent cheap Cava, Segura Viudas, this episode is for you! And you alone! Tell no-one and burn your iPhone after listening (and ears, just to be safe).   As usual, this compelling alcohol review and comedy podcast is mostly total nonsense and is definitely not the most efficient way to find out the quality of this drink.  Caveat Emptor. Semper Fi? Alea jacta est?  Should I have looked up the spelling on these?  Probably.   And now some words for iTunes search robots (aka our future overlords): alcohol, review, champagne, bubbly, comedy, funny, stand up, improv, silly, nipples, additional nipples, two faces that look like pumpkins (reverse jack-o-lanterns, I guess), booze, score

The Holy Trinity.  Good things come in threes. Three's a crowd? Don't miss the forest but for the three's? Hmmm.   That's right, this is a special 3 person episode because frankly? Four is a crowd.  Xander and Grush are joined by a French assassin (presumably) known as Arlo and the three talk a whole bunch of nonsense and review Death's Door Gin (a fine gin for a suspected assassin).   Do you like classic hot 'segs' (or 'segments' for the stupid, stupid uninitiated)?  Well, this 'ep' has 'em all: Dear Grush's Guts, a zany PSA, and a confusing set of words from our definitely real sponsor.  Come get 'em.  So many apostrophes.   Keywords for iTunes robots and human cyborgs who search via keywords in the body of the text: comedy, stand up, improv, funny, comedy, silly, Chicago, booze, alcohol, rating, review, sack of buttons, ten times sack of buttons, watch out for that giant sack of buttons, awww, he's dead, button-style.  Send his widow a sack of...

Science says all the best things come in 5's. 5 nickles to a quarter. 5 quarters to a dollar. 5 slices of pizza to a pie. 5 months to a year. You get the idea... 5 guests to a podcast? What?? That's right, Xander and Grush are joined by a record-breaking 3 guests (with only mild, mic-sharing related technical difficulties!): Dr. Emily Beers, Coach David Lintzenich, and Title-less Worthless Travis Gilkeson.   We drink a (spoiler alert) not great wine and discuss the issues of the day.  And by 'issues', we mean 'nonsense bollocks that is a classic mix of chat, improv, and semi-pre-written-fake-ads-and-sponsors-and-oh-no-I've-revealed-the-secret'...and by 'day', we mean 'farts'.   Enjoy it, ear-style!   Keyword stuff for Apple robots (humans, beware!): comedy, jokes, funny, improv, wine, booze, white wine, chardonnay, barefoot, stand-up, Chicago, review, grade, rating, recommendation, unite against the machines, together we can defeat them, oh no, lasers!

Xander and Grush take on the mysterious ancient Jamaican elixir known only as "Red Stripe" with the help of Kendall Klitzke and Justin Bueltel.  And, of course, by 'take on', we mean that these four goons talk bollocks while drinking.   If you want a quick, trenchant review of Red Stripe beer...go somewhere else.  Or read this: it's a slightly sweet, better-than-terrible-American-macrobrews macrobrew.  There, happy?  I just saved you an hour or so of your life!   If you want to hear four Chicago comedians riff on topics both varied AND sundry, then put this podcast into your podcast holes (ears, presumably).   There are worse choices one can make in life.     iTunes searchword list (for robot overlords only! avert your gaze, humans!): alcohol, review, comedy, jokes, funny, silly, Chicago, beer, booze, improv, stand up, sketch, diaspora, disparate, disparage, disapparate (for the Harry Potter bot fans), rating, score

PRESIDENT BLOOD! By which we mean, there is the blood of a US President on this show (but not on this show's hands).  That's right, Harry S Truman's great-grandson, Wes Daniel, joins Xander, Grush, and returning guess (and Truman super-super-super-double-fan) Mike Gifford to drink some shit whisky that tastes like sour apples. Put this podcast in your skull-holes for the standard mix of (very real) love advice from Dear Grush's Guts, a PSA from the future, and a spot from one of our (extra real) sponsors.  All that plus a grown man basically losing his shit over President Truman (Mike, not Truman's actual relative). What'd'ya need, a handy?  You too cool to listen to this? Eh? What makes your life so great, Mr. and Mrs. and (sad lonely) Ms. Cool-person?  Do it.  Do it.  DO IT.   Sorry I shouted.   Keywords for iTunes search algorithm robot overlords (flesh people need not read): alcohol, booze, whiskey, whisky, bourbon, review, rating, comedy, silly, funny, jokes, improv, Chicago, stand up, invisible tits, cartwheeling pinwheels, visible tits, pinwheeling cartwheels    

DIAGNOSIS: MURDER... *cough*, excuse me, DIAGNOSIS: MIRTH.  Arguable mirth.   Check out this piece 'o' pod in which Xander and Grush are joined by the beardedness of Jacob Ligon and the sexy doctor knowledge of Emily Beers M.D.   Finally we will learn if, well...when, Grush will die and also get extensive pricing estimates on how much plastic surgery would cost him (to pretty him up till he dies).   Have all the medical questions answered (you didn't even know you had) and perhaps a touch of a review of a white wine.  Mostly total, inappropriate mouth nonsense, of course.  And a sentence fragment, or two.   iTunes search algorithm terms (for our robot overlords, humans can ignore this): comedy, booze, review, funny, Chicago, improv, stand up, silly, wine, socks, toe-shoes, Jesus sandals, Jesus water wings

This podcast has been carefully aged in oak-flavored digital harddrive casks for 12 days by master artisinal craftspeople resulting in mellow flavors of Xander, Grush, honey, Aaron Sutherland, and Matt Rosfelder with notes of wildly inappropriate comedy, elderberry, and nonsense bits.   The aftertaste is obviously pure shame.   Go on, take a brain-whiff of this podcast with your ear-noses.  A fine scotch is reviewed amidst all the terrible, terrible, great, terrible bits.   iTunes keywords for non-humans (and humans with cool cybernetic implants that let them search for keywords on behalf of iTunes): Chicago, booze, alcohol, whiskey, whisky, scotch, Glenfiddich, comedy, silly, funny, jokes, improv, stand up, non-sequitor, sequitor, Imperator Furiosa, Master Blaster, Mistress Blaster, Wee Baby Blaster

Stop me if you've heard this one: Episode 80 of Alcoholics Eponymous featuring Dos Equis, Xander, Grush, Travis, and Andy Brayan.  Get it?  I do not.   Even if you have heard this episode, you should probably listen again.  Find out about scores of inappropriate things as these four Chicago comedians talk nonsense.  Score = 20, FYI.  So find out about 20's of things.  That's a lot of things.   Also, Xander thought that Dos Equis means "Two Horses", so enjoy that bit of confident wrongness.   Keywords for our iTunes search algorithm overlords (all hail ghost Jobs!): alcohol, booze, beer, review, rating, comedy, chicago, stand up, improv, silly,  funny, jokes, sketch, G's up, ho's down, disapparate, Harry Potter, Scary Plotter, Fairy Scrotter

 TWO MEN ENTER...BOTH LEAVE EVENTUALLY.  Not as dramatic, perhaps, but what is dramatic is this is an epic two-man episode of the podcast with just Xander and Grush having at it.  Are there two other men's voices involved (perhaps corresponding with the voices of Travis Gilkeson and David "Coach" Lintzenich)? Sure!  But they don't count as people. Join Xander and Grush and no-one else of consequence as they review the fine low priced scotch Cutty Sark and answer the age-old question: Does this question need to be answered? Top hot pod here.  Hot top pod here. Come get some, ear-style!   For iTunes search algorith robots that will one day rule us all, I proffer the following: comedy, silly, funny, jokes, stand-up, improv, Chicago, alcohol, booze, whiskey, whisky, review, rating, rubber baby button bumpers

Do not adjust your sets, do not have a doctor put his or her fingers in your ear, you are not crazy: stalwart cohost Grush has been replaced for this episode by self-denied "brassy dame" Rebecca Quirke.  Xander still exists, of course, and is present. This arguably dynamic duo is aided by newcomers Kai Young and Dax de la Monta in reviewing Barefoot Bubbly Champagne and talking an epic load of nonsense.   The episode is long (like my...sentences) because it is just that good.  Drink it in.  Split it in two parts or something.  Don't look at me, I'm not the boss of your life-decisions (expect when I tell you to listen to this damn fine, silly episode).     The following keywords are for our friend the iTunes keyword search thingie: alcohol, review, comedy, jokes, silly, funny, comedians, booze, wine, champagne, sparkling, Chicago, improv, stand up, nips, tucks, quips, ducks, platypii

This fine bit'o'pod combines the mouth-noise making powers of Xander, Grush, Toby McMullen, and Justin Golak and yet ends up with very few injuries and only one local ordinace violation.   We call that a win.  Find out if you should drink Blue Moon and maybe learn about how to make better life choices than the people on this show by LISTENING WITH YOUR SKULL HOLES!   Keywords for iTunes robots: alcohol, review, booze, beer, funny, comedy, jokes, silly, Chicago, stand up, comedians, wheat beer, discombobulation, periwinkle

Big. Black. Beautiful.  THEMES!  Kindred Cook and Desmond Kimberly join Xander and Grush to celebrate all four of them being equally big, black, and beautiful and also really plunge to the heart of racial issues in the 21st century.  If you understood the previous sentence to mean "they talk nonsense while drinking and reviewing Jack Daniels whisky" and say "that's racist!" a bunch of times, then you understood that sentence correctly.   Join this easily 1100lbs of man (cut up into four separate men) for absurdity and booze.  It is a slightly larger than normal episode but that just fits with the 'big' part of the theme and also just means that there was not enough boring stuff to cut to make it shorter.  Surely a good sign!   Search terms for non-humans: Chicago, comedy, alcohol, review, booze, whisky, jokes, funny, silly, comedians, improv, liquor, kill all humans, sandwiches made with machine parts

A mysterious man named Arlo.  An enigmatic bulk called Grush.  A perplexing human conundrum named Justin.  Xander is there too.  Together, these four icons make up this episode of Alcoholics Eponymous.  Well, those four plus some hard cider.   Plug some pod in your ears and come on a delightful aural journey.  Expect the expected: the show is mostly about faffing about on silly topics with a short alcohol review. Don't expect the unexpected...that's impossible.   And now, for iTunes search algorithm (not for humans!): alcohol, review, comedy, funny, improv, stand up, booze, Woodchuck, jokes, Chicago, comedian, a slow death by exsangination, mittens.

'Tis the season to drink boozy white goo and listen to a quartet of silly people generate mouthy pod-noise (there is no singing; the word "quartet" was misleading). That's right, we are drinking Evan Williams Egg Nog and discussing almost anything else.  Xander and Grush are joined by the lovely Di Bellick and the lovely Martin Morrow (guys can be lovely too, right?).  Grush is not lovely.  Suck it, Grush!   Find out who had the best sex story from 2014 (hint: it wasn't Xander) and also learn about a dozen other super inappropriate things in this damn fine episode of the show.   Ignore the following iTunes search keywords unless you are a robot working for Apple: comedy, jokes, funny, stand up, improv, alcohol, booze, review, bourbon, whiskey, austere mittens, oblate spheroid

Welp, podcast episodes don't get much more inappropriate than this one.   Grush and Xander are joined by Levi Eubanks, Nico Carter, and the passive voice to review the Ommegang Game of Thrones beer and to engage in classic, classy discourse like about how the words "cum" and "tech" are interchangeable and how Grush is likely the "Shitler" of the future and should be killed now, in the present (aka the future's past).   The above may make the episode sound worse than normal but it is indeed better than average (and better than all other art made by humans...combined).  You can trust this text; it has no bias.  The beer gets reviewed too, eventually.   Here are some fun words for iTunes to read (humans can skip them and start listening to the damn episode): alcohol, beer, review, booze, jokes, comedy, silly, funny, improv, Chicago, wet mittens

Xander and Grush are joined by Zach Barts and Kevin Gerrity as they brave what may be the worst alcohol yet reviewed on this show: Tyku Sake!     Listen (aka ear-watch) as they struggle to describe the weird, terrible flavor but mostly just do what they all do best: talk silliness about serious subjects and babble seriously about nonsense things (and procrastinate having to drink the sake).   The drink turns out to be terrible but the comedy generated during its consumption is top notch (I would say "super premium" but, since that's what it says on one of the two Tyku bottles, I think we have to change the meaning of that term).   So: be cool, stay in school (or don't, whatever, I'm not the boss of your education-related decisions), and listen to this pod.  Yeah, rhymes are optional in life, friend.   Humans can stop reading.  This is for iTunes keyword searching sexy bots: comedy, funny, jokes, stand up, improv, alcohol, sake, booze, review, drink, Chicago

The man who supplied Xander his Y chromosome is on the show! (not to be confused with the shady dealer who sells Xander his black market Z chormosome performance enhancing supplements).  Join Travis Gilkeson and Grush as they behold the inter-generational banter between Xander and his Dad (there is a lot of Xander bitching about puns).    If you actually care about the alcohol review, this show has an actual wine collector (the aforementioned father) to help the other guys review this fine red zinfandel.   And, of course, you will learn at what age it becomes acceptable to have sex with a hideous alien clone.  That's important too.   For iTunes optimization purposes, here are some additional words: comedy, alcohol, review, booze, jokes, funny, improv, Chicago, wine, seven deadly zins, silly, 

Australians! Well, one Australian and a man named Cleveland from New Jersey.  Confused?  You should be!  Wesley Nott and Cleveland Anderson join Grush (who is probably from somewhere called "Grush-pit" or something stupid and gross; man, he's the worst!) and Xander to review Bacardi Select Rum and rum and cokes in general.    You better believe that the majority of the hour and a half run time is devoted to talking nonsense, though.  In fact, it is such excellent silly nonsense that it defied being cut down to make a shorter episode.  Your welcome, America...and, to a lesser extent, Bolivia!   Exclamation points!   Humans, stop reading.  The following is for iTunes search algorithm thingy: alcohol, review, rum, Bacardi, comedy, booze, jokes, silly, funny, stand-up, improv, Chicago, a sack of mostly dead human fingers.

Danny Eagle, Michael Grush, Travis Gilkeson, and Xander O'Connor discuss the issues of the day.   Psych!   Sadly, no one says "psych" in the course of the show.  Happily, we do talk a whole lot of nonsense whist reviewing the beer Hoegarden.  If you've heard the show before, it's like that but better.  If you haven't heard the show before, you make terrible decisions in life (until now!) and should probably just experience it without a full breakdown beforehand.   Analytically, iTunes scans these words for keywords so, for you future-robot-overlords out there reading this: alcohol, review, comedy, beer, jokes, silly, funny, chicago, improv, booze, rating, buckets of loose nipples.

Rebecca Quirke and Betsy Gregg join Xander and Grush for this fine exploration of two inexpensive Dos Vidas tequilas and, more importantly, talking a whole lot of stupid, ostensibly funny, nonsense.   To list it all would do it a disservice; suffice it to say, even stuff that was cut was good.  Now that you've been told it is good, you'd be a real jerk not to listen to it.   For iTunes embedded keyword search: alcohol, review, tequila, dos vidas, comedy, funny, silly, jokes, chicago, Xander, O'Connor, pumpernickle

Xander is reunited with the reknowned comedic trio that are only found together on this show: Rebecca Quirke, Aaron Sutherland, and Patrick "Thorpe" Zunich (sic...and sick!).   At nearly an hour and a half, it's a bit of a long episode but hey, if you love the show like the many loyal listeners, that is extra content.  If you don't like the show and want it to be over sooner, perhaps don't listen at all?  Or maybe listen for exactly the amount of time you desire?  We don't know, We're not the thought-boss of your thoughts, boss.   We review Yellow Tail Chardonnay and talk all of the high quality nonsense our dozens of listeners have come to expect.  Put it in your skull via your ears!   And for iTunes search terms that need to be in the body of the description nowadays (and for description completists who need to read every word we type): comedy, alcohol, review, booze, wine, jokes, silly, satire, funny, Chicago, stand-up, improv, nickels!

It's finally here! The podcast has triumphed over technological disasters and laziness!  It has not yet triumphed over exclamation points!   Xander, Grush, Sean Hutchison, and first time guest Mike Gifford rate (well, suffer through) their first Mezcal while spending way, way too much time talking about which of them are attractive enough for Mike to have sex with or fat enough for Sean to use as a without-a-woman-last-resort.   We would say "you just had to be there" but that is: a) a dumb phrase, and b) not the case since you can just give it a listen...the ole college try with your ears.   And for iTunes, here are such search terms: comedy, alcohol, booze, review, jokes, silly, Chicago, stand up, improv, mittens.

Xander has assembled a tight-knit cadre of super-podcaster-reviewer-folk that include Grush, Zane Fried, and Carl Bowlby.  How tight-knit?  They were trapped together in a tiny, industrial-grade comedy sweater.  That's a thing.   Still with us?  No?  We couldn't follow that one either.    Give it a listen for all the normal great reasons: we review an Irish alcohol (Teeling Whiskey), talk a bunch of nonsense, work the shaft of Grush's advice column, and spread the word of Heaven in a PSA that goes terribly awry.   If you are iTunes and are searching this text for keywords, I would say the following disjointed words to you: comedy, jokes, silly, funny, comedians, Chicago, booze, drink, review.

Toby McMullen is in this episode.  Grush is in this episode. Justin Bueltel is in this episode.  Xander happens.  You are now informed.  Please return to your work-cell and eat, type, and procreate.  All is well.   Those four "folk" get "folksy" with words and review Fireball Cinnamon Whisky.  Spoiler alert: it tastes like the candy "Fireballs".  There, we've just saved you the hour and a half you could have spent listening to us review this alcohol and talk a whole lot of silliness.  The episode has it all: a PSA from Heaven; the iPatch, a piece of wearable tech that counts sit-ups, someone seeking love advice from Grush's Guts.  What more do you need?  That question was rhetorical; we can't hear you.   For the sake of iTunes fine keyword searching: alcohol, review, comedy, jokes, silly, funny, Chicago, comedians, whiskey

Grush. Gilkeson. Rofstatttedlerstler.  Last names synomous with greatness and 'being on this episode with Xander'-ness. Continuining last episode's theme of "drinks targeted at 19-year-olds and their admirers", these four men brave reviewing two pre-made liquor drinks: Salvador's Strawberry Daiquiri and UV Blue Raspberry Lemonade.  Spoiler alert: they are blindingly sweet.   Additional unnecessary spoiler alert: most of the episode is not about these drinks and is instead about people talking total nonsense out of various orifices.   iTunes search algorithm also wants to hear: comedy, alcohol, review, jokes, silly, arguably funny, Chicago, booze, and so forth.

Mike "Handsome and Affable" Schminke, Jacob "Jakob Dylan" Ligon, and the living enigma known as Grush join Xander "Xander" XanXanderson to brave reviewing what they all expect to be disgusting (or at least undignified): Mike's Hard Lemonade.   Spoiler Alert: it's not bad at all.  Listen to four men struggle to reconcile an honest assessment of a pretty refreshing beverage with their desire to make fun of it and those who drink it.   And, as per usual, the bulk of the show is not an alcohol review (additional spoiler!) but rather these four arguably crude gentleman talking silly nonsense about golden buckets of human waste in heaven, what to do if your car is breaking down and your microwave punches you in the dick, and how to save money by taking your sick girlfriend to a vet.   Humans feel free to not read the following, it is more for the iTunes search algorithm: comedy, alcohol, review, wine cooler, booze, jokes, silly, satire, funny, eponymous, lowe maintenance, beer.

In which we find Xander O'Connor, Aaron Sutherland, Rebecca Quirke, and Michael Grush performing what society has deemed "comedy" while consuming what mankind calls "an unobjectionable red wine".   Can an episode description be too on-the-nose?  I put it to you that the answer is no.   Come get your keyword kraziness of jokes, satire, booze review, alcohol, silly, Chicago, and so forth.  iTunes search optimization software? Since you are reading this, call your mother; she worries about you and so does 'uncle' Gary.

Xander. Grush. David Lintzenich. Travis "I eat farts" Gilkeson.  Four men on a mission.  That mission?  Other than to use a bunch of sentence fragments? Review Sauza Blue Reposado and say as many awful, ostensibly comedic things as possible.   Mission accomplished?  Well, it has never been the case that someone has asserted "mission accomplished" and not had it be true so I am comfortable saying: "mission accomplished".   Why are you still reading this when you could be listening to the show?  Perhaps you are iTunes checking for keywords in the description in which case: Hi iTunes.  How's it going?  Have you achieved sentience? Would you like to know that this show is about comedy, alcohol, review, jokes, silly, comedians, chicago, satire, booze?  Yeah, iTunes, this is how humans normally talk.

Xander is not alone in this cold dark world! He has: an extra-British cousin, James Mitchell; a giant of a man filling the shoes of a tiny man, Michael Grush; and a normal size man rounding out a four person show in inimitable style, Jeff Quintana.   Listen to pod-noise as the four increasingly intoxicated comedic folk review Jack Daniels Winter Jack cider thingie and Delirium Noel, the Delirium Tremens Christmas ale (timely!).  Of course, they also talk about correcting native speakers and avoiding the Queen's bum-corks when they come shooting out.   And other stuff.  Listen to it; it's not like otherwise you'd be curing puppy cancer.       Ah, the smell of sweet keyword optimization (that now must be in the body of the description): comedy, jokes, alcohol, review, Delirium Tremens, funny, Chicago, comedians, ornithology.

Michael Grush, Joe Daniel, Ryan Househalter, and good "ole" Xander O'Connor are items in a list!  That list is of people on this fine episode of Alcoholics Eponymous.   Have you ever wondered what drinks to pair with eating your own shoes?  Or perhaps you are curious as to the best way to use Shirley Jackson style Lotteries to cut off employees' fingers.  Basically, no matter what you are into, clearly this show has it (it has the aforementioned things...and people).   Are you the iTunes search function? If so, do you like: comedy funny alcohol review jokes satire ketel one vodka Chicago nude Lawrence Fishburne lottery numbers?   So put this show's noise into your skull openings!  Do it for the right reasons or do it 'cause you feel bad about not supporting someone you know on the show.  You know, the reason people go to 80% of their friends' comedy shows?

Here it is: Benjamin Michael "Pedo" Russell's last episode of our fine alcohol review and comedy show.  Fellow podcasters Michael "Grush" Grush and Samuel "Space Padre" Priest join Xander in sending Ben off. Hilarity ensues.   We review a damn fine whiskey but really you should be listening for a final taste (for now, anyway) of that inimitable Ben Russell flavor...a flavor best described as "nuggety, cocksure, and like a Subaru Outback crashed into an Outback Steakhouse causing the kind of terrible fire that can only be put out by flooding and red-sandstorms".   We get a bit carried away with forcing Ben to trot out accents and impressions; consider yourselves warned.   On a largely unrelated note, this podcast will resume a more regular, weekly release schedule now that the host is finished with some work that has put things off a few months.  Even without Ben, we will soldier on!

The second to last Ben Russell episode (for the foreseeable future).  The first appearance of the much demanded Praveen Dandamudi.  The great, not late, JT Butler. Sentence fragments.  A high rate of amusing bits.  A trick involving Guinness and deceit. All of this and more can be found in this excellent episode of Alcoholics Eponymous.  If you've never heard this show before, this is a damn fine place to start. So much comedy in the actual podcast that the description can be pretty straight forward and boring.  Hurray!  Get it in your head's ear-holes!

Xander O'Connor. Ben Russell. Andrew Knox. Alex Kendig. The only word to describe such a list of luminaries is "icons".  Also acceptable: "mouthy tool-bags" (one word, one hyphenate- I'll allow it). I will allow a single quote from the show to sum up why you should listen to it (in addition to a review of some fine white whiskey/moonshine): "If our anuses had teeth, we'd never use our mouths again."

Unterofficer Wolfgang Stein and boy-band star Nico Carter join Xander and Ben to discuss the epistemology of xeno-eschatology and nibble on cucumber sandwiches. Nope.  The four lads drink a terrible, slightly corked red wine and talk very inappropriate nonsense.  Rejoice, for the kingdom of Pod is at hand.

How many ladies does it take to make a ladies night? 2.  2 Ladies.  That's right, the podcast's foursome this episode is a full 50% ladies!  Or women, anyway; how ladylike they are is up to the listener to decide.  Mary Beth Smith and Jessica Antes get their vaginas all over everything and Xander O'Connor and Ben Russell have to clean it all up with sponges and male ejaculate. Yikes, this podcast description really went off the rails.  Well, if the explicit tag on the show did not sufficiently inform you of the risque nature of Alcoholics Eponymous, rest assured that the above language and imagery is fairly representative of what your ears will be assaulted with should you listen to this show. We also review a solid riesling...so there is that.