EleAMental Podcast

False alarm, my missing family member turned up after a few days, no need to panic. Didn't stop the family from worrying anyway. You know, a check in to your friends and family to insure that you're okay is always appreciated. It's a long/short story. But it did get me thinking about how I have a history of going missing in relationships. I've had excuses why, but none I would consider good. More like I inadvertently set a priority list and they were not high on it. At the top of that list? The constantly unravelling drama that was my life. But no longer. Today is a new day and a new me. Now to actually change and seek forgiveness for my carelessness. This is where the real work begins.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

They do. Having experienced a long period of mental clarity, coming from therapy, medication, and learning, I feel very differently on things I've spoken about in the past. This relates to past relationships too. I know we live in a world where it's not okay to change your mind, but that is so unhealthy. Of course we're supposed to grow and change based off new information. It's not a redaction, it's an addendum. This is why it's so important to seek treatment for your mental health issues and learn about other disorders to make you a more informed and sensitive friend to those who are neuro-divergent.      Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

Hypothyroidism. The culprit behind so many of my health issues. This is the story about how one very small thing can make a huge impact on your life. I'm currently one week in on medication for my very low functioning. The results will astonish you.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

For a very long time, I tolerated being the butt of jokes by my friends, or people I perceived to be friends at the time. I've never understood the concept of hazing or ribbing people, except as a way to cause hurt. It's a standard I hold seriously in my life, that I will never inflict that kind of hurt, nor will I ever accept it. When the nature of someones comments works to tear down, you have to ask why.   Also on this entry, I talk about the Covid-19 Vaccine and how to engage with those who are untrusting with it. You would be surprised the influence you could have if you have patience.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

First off, the title is a nod to the dystopian conservative jerk off novel, so don't take it too seriously. Ayn Rand would have definitely felt so in awe and deep compassion for the 200+ billionaire titan and all the things he's done for humanity. Can you hear my eyes rolling through this text? When people like Bezos do the things they do, you're always going to find some trying to spin it into some sudo self-help, aspirational nonsense. I find it ironic to use someone who crushes the dreams of many to also inspire dreams. If there is anything you should be inspired to do, it is to do better, DREAM BETTER. We all have dreams, but does the cost of your dreams have a negative or positive impact on others. Maybe when we dream, we should use the word “Me” less and “Us” more. Are your dreams selfish in nature? It's understandable, but if we want to be better, that's a collective effort and we have to think in those terms. Lets talk about US.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

Never get too attached to The Doctor, you know, the one from Galifrey. Every few years, they have a habit of changing on you. Us humans do that too, though we may keep the body, the mind can't help being affected by the events of time. I found myself longing for a past version of myself, but earlier this year I stopped doing that. Instead, I decided to check in and see who I am now. The more I did that, the less I ever wanted to go back to former glories. So, let me introduce myself…again.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

The character of Loki has many things you can learn from, but perhaps the idea of having a “glorious purpose” isn't one of them. Or is it? I was raised to believe that I had a divine purpose and destiny. In my mid 20s, I stopped believing in all of that, but upon further introspection, I think I've held on to a bit of the sense. Not that I believe in god or their plans, but it's interesting I still feel this energy behind the things that I pursue. So what is that if not god? Can a person define their own purpose and also experience that drive that's been considered exclusive to the faithful?   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

You know those people who hate holidays? If you didn't before, you do now. Yes, I have become a curmudgeon of sorts in regards to festivities. This wasn't always the case, but in the course of my 30s, I've turned sour on many of the traditions and celebrations I once really looked forward to and enjoyed. In part, disappointments have a share of the blame in this game. Each year only feels like diminishing returns. Until recently, I was pretty set to avoid all of it, including my own birthday, until I had a conversation with my mom. She was like me, but we realized why we're wrong. You have to celebrate people, hell, you have to celebrate yourself too. If not you, who? But we should want to be there for people, commemorate those special events. It can also just be a reason to come together. After a year of self isolation for all of us, it should make more sense now. Pop the champagne, raise a glass, and salute!        Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

I'm currently seeking treatment for ADHD. I haven't seen a psychologist yet, but I will be getting an evaluation in the very near future. I've known for a long time that I wasn't neurotypical, but had no clue that I could possibly have ADHD. I had a vague understanding of it, the usual lack of focus and hyperactivity, but it's much more than that. I'm still learning, though I'm pretty certain I deal with all the myriad of issues that comes with the disorder. Let me take you on a tour of my life and show you why I think I have ADHD and why I'm excited to start medication and treatment.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

Early last month in May, I started back on gender-affirming medication and care. I had been off my Spironolactone for over a year, hadn't been on Estrogen for over 4 years. One of the reasons was being unable to afford healthcare, but the thing I didn't ever talk about was I had been ordering online without a physician's supervision. You can find a lot of online pharmacies, for a hefty price, willing to issue you a prescription and mail you your meds from foreign pharmacies. Let me be clear, you really, really, REALLY shouldn't do this. But when you're desperate like I was, and many others like me, you sometimes do things that you shouldn't. I never wanted to encourage anyone to follow my path, so I stayed mum about the whole thing. Honestly, I'm lucky nothing detrimental happened. Today though, access to care is a lot easier than it was before. Here is my story from 2011 to 2021 about my history with HRT meds and the challenges in between.

Previously on Entry 115, I touched on gaslighting, but this week I wanted to focus in on that and speak on my first hand experiences. You may have heard the term, but do you really understand what it is? I often hear it presented as just manipulation, but it's more than that, it's someone turning your own brain against you. They closer they get, the more isolated you become, the less you trust your own voice, and the further you become enslaved to another's will. Someone who gaslights can be doing it for a variety of reasons and may be aware or unaware of their actions. So this entry is not about blame, but understanding. I feel uniquely qualified to provide you with some tools to help you avoid it, escape it, or shut it down. And let me assure you now, you're not imagining it. Let's learn to take back our sanity together.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter/TikTok: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

I had a full mental breakdown in early January of 2021. I haven't really talked about it, but in this entry, I'm going to reveal what happened and what I've been doing to recover. I honestly thought that the worst my mind could do to me had happened over a decade ago. I foolishly believed that I could avoid the voids in my mind with some fast reflexes and precession stirring. Unfortunately, you can't bypass an accident scene if you're also the victim in the crash you're passing…which means you're not really driving past - this is a complicated metaphor. Therapy, medication, and coming to terms with a lifetime of pain: Let's chat, shall we?   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/eleamental   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re uncovering RAMPANT ELECTION FRAUD! Oh wait, there wasn’t any, just the loud jackass who is bilking his cult for hundreds of millions of dollars from his persistent lies. If Trump is anything, he’s a decent Con Man. I just wish he wasn’t affecting our families and lives with his agenda. Even with him gone on January 20th, he seems to found away to still screw with our democracy for the years to come. This is a cluster f***, lets get into it.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re breaking the silence. Opening your mouth can cause a lot of problems and often has consequences, but it is the only way to be heard and initiate change. I have this problem in my life where I will keep my mouth shut to keep the peace, or to avoid unnecessary conflict. Looking back, I can see all the pain and loss it’s caused. Had I just spoken up, and the earlier the better, I could have prevented so much damage. So let’s dare to speak and risk what may come next.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m offering no discounts or specials on my time and talent. Everyone wants a bargain, that includes you as a person. Why get you at full price when they can bang you around and convince you that you’re only worth a fraction? Marc Bernardin said it best, “Be humble, but let motherf***ers know.” I whole heartedly concur. If you don’t, you’ll not just get paid like shit, but you’ll be treated that way too. Worst part, it will spread to every part of your life. I know this because I lived this and I’m here to help you avoid those pitfalls.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m taking back ground. After a long period of losses, the end of 2020 is actually turning into a win for me personally. At the beginning of this entry, I talk way to long about a Hot Toys 1/6 Scale Batman Returns that I sold back in March/April, but repurchased at the end of November. It’s important though, because it was an anchor, a reminder of who I want to be as a person. When you don’t always have the supportive voices you need in your life to be the best version of yourself, you have to be your own support system. Totems can help in that goal and I just bought back mine. Beyond that, I also talk about the recent Harry Styles controversy where he modeled in Vogue in a series of dresses. Of course this offended a lot of fragile oppressive voices, which I think is a good sign that we’re doing something right. Carving your own path, breaking norms, confronting what it means to be normal, it’s all covered here.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we won the 2020 US Election by voting out TRUMP! A hard, long race, which took a week to get the results, but it’s over…or is it? In the song Master of Puppets by Metallica, the line, “Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing,” describes the scenario cryptically well. Though they were singing about drugs, the Cult Of Trump works in the same way. Instead of a spiritual messiah that they can’t see, hear,  or touch, they’ve traded in for one who they can and one that promotes an utterly opposite view of their one time savior. They live for every word he speaks, even willing to lay down their lives for him. So how do you combat that? Come January 20, 2021, Joseph R Biden will be our next president, but for millions of American’s, they’ll do everything in their mental and perhaps physical capacity to deny that. Let’s talk honestly about what we need to do in the States to prepare for this new era.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m recovering from a month long battle with Covid-19. Yeah, it sucks as you can imagine. I unfortunately have an underlying condition of Bronchitis, so there was some scary moments these past few weeks. To top it off, I ended a long term friendship, that was pretty devastating. Oh, and I turned 37 on October 11, 2020. This all sounds pretty depressing, but during these trials, I discovered a few things about myself and about these amazing, wonderful people who reached out to me to let me know I was loved and cared for. So despite the bad, I’m feeling really good about life and where things are going. Lets talk about that.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m ready to go home. Two months in Orange County, CA, and now I really know where I want to be and what I’m willing to do to get back there. Strange enough, I might even be able to move about 50 feet from where I lived in my old Hollywood neighborhood. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this too will only be a temporary home as well, but at least it’s a good place to start if nothing else.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re creating a new religion…sorta. Whether you believe or not in a god or supernatural power, you can’t ignore the power and force that seems to be behind those who do. I’m not of any belief or faith, but I do believe in the human minds capacity to do extraordinary things, including self-delusion. What if, bare with me, you could manufacture that same driving force? Can we manage to create a fully synthetic belief system that gives us the same benefits as believers, minus the lack of critical thinking skills and abhorrent laws and Bronze Age morality? Whether we like it or not, decisions made on the right affect all of us, so we can’t have a “live and let live” attitude anymore. Maybe it’s time to even the playing field…   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re gett’n smarts! Tossing out mental bullshit is the plan, but sometimes before you get smart, you have to make your mind a fortress for knowledge.  Oh girl, I got stories for you just how dumb I was, you wouldn’t even believe it!   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m revisiting my f#%&ed up, sexually repressed childhood, courtesy of my return to Orange County, CA. Something happened where I tripped into a regressed state, reminding me of the source of my romantic troubles. We don’t stop there though, we have to look at the current state of children being raised in similar oppressive Christian homes. Yay. Who they let be parents these days…     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m camping! Let’s just call it that and not that I’m crashing on my aunt’s couch until September. Oh, and I’m in Orange County, CA for the mean time, which I have to say that I’m very motivated to get out of here. So this is a brief update about where I currently am mentally and physically, but also where I’m going.     Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

EleAMental Podcast No. 103: Dirty Laundry   In this entry, I’m exposing myself…well, not like that.    Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re self quarantining, keeping out of the city and hunkering down in the Fortress of Ele-itude (It’s a rental). I recorded this after a week in voluntary isolation, so I’m loopy, but I’m here. I’m glad I’m in Los Angeles and not Florida right now, because I would probably go down to the beach and start bean bagging (not sure what those non-lethal weapons that shoot bean bags are called) those self involved idiots, but I digress. Let’s just try to stay healthy and not spread this virus to anyone else we love.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m calling you out, true believer. I often have my time as a Christian dismissed as a limited experience, often discounting or discarding my reasons for walking away. Let me be clear, it wasn’t limited. If my words cause you to question your beliefs, that’s a you problem. As for me, I’m not going to stop talking, nor am I going to tap dance around and say, “But this isn’t ALL Christians.” I’ll just say this: Silence is taken as Complicity. Outside those “extreme voices”, there’s a lot of crickets. Let me fill in quiet and blow some shit up. :)   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, the past came back to me in the form of 2 red tail lights on a desolate street in the pitch darkness of night. I watched 2 people I love drive away, but the pain wasn’t from watching them go, it was from the previous time I watched the most important person in my life leave me behind.  It’s clear to me now how much work I have to do to get better mentally and physically. We’re not running away anymore, we’re pressing in and confronting our demons. Let’s turn on the headlights, hit the open road, and have a talk.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I finally sat down and watched Contrapoints’ videos, and I feel inspired and motivated to make the dive into my own videos and productions. Plus, she is hot, mentally and physically. Anyway, I’m still in the process of moving, still figuring out what I want my future to look like. It’s a bit of a ramble, but when is it not? Let’s get inspired to take on the future, shall we?    Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re planning a heist. The target: Valentine’s Day. The goal: To steal it and turn it into a holiday that includes everyone. Let’s face it, Valentine’s is on the decline. Has it really been the holiday of love and romance or rather heartache and disappointment? With conversations about sex and relationships being derailed by religious, uptight, fear-mongers, it’s more important now than ever that we claim February 14th for those who want to live in a world where these issues are not demonized, instead praised and celebrated. We need open discourse (perhaps intercourse?), we need a holiday that celebrates our human nature. We don’t need to ditch the heart shaped boxes of chocolates and roses, but rather add components that work to serve everyone in these concepts of love, intimacy, and sex, and not exclude people because they’re lack of a romantic relationship. Put down the red and pink cupcakes you bought at the grocery store BRENDA! You don’t need to binge through your depression, it’s time to pull off a caper, lover. Slip off those Spanx and let’s talk dirty. I promise I'll be gentile.  Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re talking about keeping your mother &%$#ing word. It might be seen as old school, but let’s scrap this idea that everything we did in the past was wrong. If you make a commit, be committed to keeping it. It’s a pretty simple philosophy, but one that seems is going into extinction. How many times have you or someone you know been “ghosted” on a date or an appointment. More and more it seems like people couldn’t give a flying &%$# if they waste your time. To put this into context, it’s like someone reaching into your pocket, taking money out of your wallet, then walking away as if nothing happened. Money however is something you can earn back. Once time is gone, it’s gone for good. We’re allowing too many of these scenarios to become common place in our society and it’s time we pretend like it’s no big deal. Let’s call it what it is: Grand Theft Time-O…we’ll work on that name.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m conducting a yard sale of my life. Some how I’ve managed to unclench my fingers around my most precious possessions and am moving on. A new chapter in life awaits and I’m cutting all the anchors that has held me back. However, I’m not just getting rid of things, but preconceived notions, commonly taken routes, and anything that might work for most, but just not for me. Just because the calendar changes doesn’t mean we do, unless we want to. I don’t know about you, but I’m determined to make this decade something truly spectacular.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, it’s the end of the year, the end of a decade, and the end of an era. In the year 2020, are you still waiting for permission to live your life? I know I have, still a product of years and years of indoctrinated upbringing. You would think someone like myself who has veered off the safe path so many times in my life wouldn’t be waiting for marching orders from some authority, but here we are. Waking up everyday, choosing to make decisions for your future, it’s harder than you’d think. I’ve never been one to run away from a challenge and I don’t think you do either. Let’s go into 2020 and live a little but more curiously. Are you in?   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission.  If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m talking about checking out of Hotel California. I’ve lived here since I was 10 years of age, been in L.A. since 2013. While this city has given me plenty of room to grow and be myself, it’s starting to feel more and more claustrophobic. It’s a place that I see as progressive ideologically, but not as much in practice. I think it’s the nature of this place where people come to chase dreams, but forget what it means to be a good, healthy person. So perhaps it’s time to see what else is out there in the world.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, it’s time to be thankful for time, thankful for the ability to change things, and thankful for what we have and accomplished in our lives. Yes, life might not be exactly the way that you or I want it to be right now. It’s very easy to see the negative and ignore the positive. However, it’s those positive things in your life that are going to help you get where you want to go. So lets take hold of life, take stock of what we have, and prepare to go roaring into the 20s.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I don't give a hoot about what you think and neither should you. Being “Normal” isn’t something that should go away, but we should change what that means. What if instead of it having to do with alienating people for being unique and different, it actually has to do with how we treat other in an ever evolving society. Kindness, acceptance, and compassion as a common thing everyone shared in our culture, could you imagine that? Perhaps you should be. Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I’m not redacting what I’ve said or decided in previous recent entries, rather amending a few things. We’re humans and we can’t change the fact that we have an emotional reaction to things. You also can’t live life in a completely intellectual, neutral state. Even if you could, would you really want to? I deal with a lot of emotional imbalances due to my mental health issues and it’s exhausting. Sometimes my judgment is off, making it easy for me to commit rash decisions. So this is an entry about admitting mistakes, growing from new experiences, and hopefully moving on and committing to positive changes.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, it’s time to share the spookiest stories from my life experience…Fundamentalist Christianity! I opened it up to questions, got one response, and proceeded to talk over an hour and a half about young indoctrination, speaking in tongues, and how they work their manipulations to hook you in and convince you that everything they’re doing is not crazy. It’s madness unraveled and explained. Dim the lights, grab some candy, and be prepared for some chilling revelations.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, it’s about family. Unfortunately it’s not the feel good, Full House type, but the hyper-religious kind that sweep anything under the carpet that’s too shameful to deal with. I had 35 years of excuses for their behavior, while hiding myself from their periphery just to keep them from being “exposed” to the way I live my life. Now at 36, I just don’t have another day in me to tolerate intolerance. Shared blood and genetics is never a good reason to stay in relationship with people who actively poison you. Time to shed a tear, then shed the past.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.  

In this entry, we’re pulling out the ol’ Rand McNally maps, plotting a course, and heading out into the wild. It’s time to get back to business, know where I’m going once again. Possibly, just possibly, help you too if you’re feeling lost. Additionally, this is my birthday week and I’ll be posting a report card of myself for this past year of living, each day this week. Buckle up, grab a big gulp, tune into some terrestrial radios, and let’s get at ‘er. Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.  

In this entry, we’re talking about sex, baby! Well…sex adjacent. I asked for your questions on Facebook, and you delivered. You never know what you’re going to get when you ask for questions about sex related subjects, so this was a truly interesting recording session. We’re covering asexuality, monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, and down and dirty cheaters. Thanks to my questioneers for your contributions. Hopefully, my perspective is helpful.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, it’s multiple choice! Well, at least that’s how Christians practice their faith. They would never admit it of course, but many fundamentalists claim that they follow ALL the scriptures in the Bible. But do they actually? After recently falling asleep watching YouTube, then waking up to a YouTube auto-play of videos from Girl Defined (A Christian based series of obnoxious messages about purity and a woman’s place in the Patriarchal structure), I’ve got some bones to pick. First, WTF YouTube? Second, I’ve come here to drink a PSL and kick some scriptural ass…and I’ve just finished my latte.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.  

In this entry, everything sucks and everyone is an asshole…Or maybe not.  Does anger and rage always spawn more anger and rage, or can it be redirected to provoke our better natures instead? That is my topic, though I don't claim it will be easy.    Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re sliding up those scandalous over the knee patent boots, wearing everything that’s too sheer, too short, and too risqué. What is life without leaving some lasting impressions? Yes, some will say you’re just an exhibitionist, but there’s going to be a few who see you and feel your vibe. Who knows, you might just be helping someone else find their confidence. Fasten those garters, stroke those nylons, and strike a pose.    Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.  

In this entry, we’re talking about changes, even when things are going well. Why? Because it could be better. Self improvement sometimes means messing a few things up to find something more ideal. I also talk about passion and why I don’t allow myself to sell it out in certain areas anymore.   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.  

EleAMental Podcast No. 82: Personal Jesus   In this entry, we’re starting a religion! Following in the path of such great men such as Joseph Smith, L Ron Hubbard, and Alex Jones (He’s kinda like a new conspiracy based religion), we’re conjuring up a brand new belief system to call our own. You might think I’m kidding at this point. To a large degree, yes. However, the concept of faith and belief is interesting. And regardless how stupid and ridiculous the claims are, it’s still a powerful force that people are using to mold and shape our world. It’s that specific result I’m seeking. How do you live your life with reason, compassion, and love, while also believing in some force that drives you and gives you purpose. This will be sure to upset some, but I’m opening up about my new take on the spiritual. So no proselytization here, no trying to convince you of my beliefs. Instead, if you must believe, why not multiple choice?   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.    

In this entry, we’re talking about self-worth again. This one is a little bit different. I’m not going to tell you to “Treat yo self” or “You a queen.” Instead, I want to persuade you to be honest with yourself. What do you feel you value is really worth. Do you let other determine it for you? To do think of yourself to highly? Are you good, but could be better. So don’t discard yourself in the clearance bin, but at the same time, are you really the best you can be? Only you can be the judge of that…   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re talking about where I went these past few weeks! A mental health break is never a bad idea. I’m going to talk to you about my anxiety disorder and how it got way out of control. Then the bad things I tried to fix it, followed by the right things I did which actually is working. Nonetheless, I’m doing very well and am ready to push onward. Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, let’s talk about keeping your therapy in session. When did people start wearing their mental illnesses like medals of honor? It’s become the ultimate excuse for people not to deal with their problems, it’s just “the way they are.” In reality, it’s annoying, it’s rampant, and it needs to stop. So let’s deal with our issues, remember what social curtesy is, and understand proper place and time to share certain information. Who’s ready to get their shit together?   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, we’re talking about being so much yummier. I’ve had a fascination with Catwoman for a long time (Michelle Pfeiffer specifically), I just wasn’t paying attention to the lesson she was trying to teach me. I’ve always seen myself as A Keaton Batman type. Awkward, introverted, brooding, focused, selfless. Now, I’m starting to see that while that is definitely part of me, there’s another. To quote Bruce Wayne to Selina Kyle, “We’re the same…split right down the center.” Like Yin and Yang, I too have a dual nature. One part bat, one part cat, I am contradictory, yet balanced sides. As of late, I’ve felt that nature begin to claw out of me. Forcing me to reevaluate myself and my beliefs. There’s a time to be the silent, watchful guardian, then there’s a time to squeeze into latex and rip out someones intestine with your bare hands. You can try to deny your dark side, but in the end, it finds a way to manifest one way or another. So let’s ask the question “What Would Catwoman Do?” Would she just forgive the people who tried to kill her, let Max Shreck slide for pushing her out a window? Would you? Or do you finally come to understand that forgiveness is not always the answer. It doesn’t always make you better, heal your wounds. And perhaps, just perhaps, all these beliefs and ideologies we accept as being good for us, might just be poison instead. So lets take an honest look at ourselves and ask, “Is forgiveness truly good for the soul, or just good for those who’ve sinned against us?” When you can accept those difficult painful truths, then you might just find real healing. Pour up a glass of ice cold milk and lets scratch through this surface, shall we?   Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

In this entry, I talk about my own little form of prostitution. I may not be selling my body, but I’m selling my soul. I feel that’s much worse. Let’s talk about work and how I pay the rent. When it’s come to my main source of income, mum has been the word. Since 2017, I had to start back at a job from my past, working as a Christian TV editor and producer. The content isn’t the kind you see where the lgbtq or liberals are being bashed, but it’s just not my idea of quality content. And it’s draining. Not to mention it opens up a lot of old wounds for me being in that world, even for a very small time each week. So a decision has been made and we’re going to talk about that today.  Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.

On this entry, we’re going back to the basics…the sexual basics. Mostly because a sad majority of our population has been miseducated about sex and reproduction, or simply no education whatsoever. We are in a sad state of affairs, rather multiple states. Not only are people not getting the fundamentals of what they can do to protect themselves before, during, and after intercourse, they’re also being punished with life altering consequences because of ignorance. I was fortunate enough to have had sex ed in California when I was in 7th and 8th grades. Had I been in Arkansas still, it would have been Abstinence-Only rhetoric. Lets face it, when 2 teens in the thrust of puberty find willing participants in each other, it’s going to happen. There is not threat, barrier, or chastity belt that will stop them. I had proper sex education in school, but bullshit shame and religious guilt at home. This is about my struggle with this division and how it did me a lot of harm, and many others as well. We also talk about the fact that most people are just doing it wrong. If you think you’re great at sex, chances are, you’re not. Hate to be the barer of bad news, but I’m here to tell you my awkward journey so you can benefit from my humiliation and mistakes. So, what would you little maniacs want to hear first? Help Support This Podcast: https://patreon.com/elenichols   Website: http://houseofele.com Store/Art: http://eluded.ltd Instagram/Facebook/Twitter: @elenichols Email: info@elenichols.com   Music was provided by Damn The With Siren, featuring the song, “Big Mouth”, and was used with their permission. If you want to hear more of their incredible music, go to www.DamnTheWitchSiren.com.