God, Sex & You! with Dustin Daniels

On today’s show my guest, former NFL quarterback Jeff Kemp and I are going to talk about the things in life that you are not expecting. For example, when the boss asks you to come into his office and tells you that you’re being laid off. When the doctor calls with test results, and asks that you come in ASAP. When your precious 14 year old daughter comes home, and tells you that she’s pregnant. When your wife finds pornography on your computer. Whether these things are self inflicted or not, life is all about the unexpected. How are you going to respond when...not if...but when these things start happening in your life? Lastly Jeff give some wise advice as to what to do when facing the blitz regarding sexual temptations and purity.

Visit DustinDaniels.org for more information. What exactly is the key to becoming a man of integrity, a man of honor, a man of valor? How about the key to becoming an irresistible husband? I have author and speaker Ken Nair back in the studio from last week to address these questions. We are discussing his book, Discovering the Mind of a Woman.

Are women impossible to understand? Ask most men and the jokes start flying, right?! What you may not know is that God commands men to understand their wife. 1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way." So why don't most men take the time to do this? My guest today is author Ken Nair. He is the founder of Christ Quest Ministries and is the author of "Understanding The Mind of a Woman.

If you missed last week’s show, we defined sexual sin, and I would encourage you to jump on the website or download it from iTunes, because today we are going to finish our conversation with Joe Dallas on the topic of homosexuality. Are people born gay? Is homosexuality unchangeable? How can love be wrong? We answer these questions and more!

It is so interesting to me, how Jesus answers this question from the Church of His day in Matthew 19:1-6. He not only answer the question about divorce, but He also gives us the standard for all of sexuality at the very same time. Look at what Jesus does here. He points us right back to the beginning of creation in Genesis 2:24, and with one statement we see the template for all sexuality. We see the standard for which all sexuality is now based and judged. One biological man and one biological woman under a covenant from God is His definition of marriage and sexuality. It’s so simple isn’t it? God is not a God of confusion and disorder, He is a God of simplicity and order. We as humans are the one’s who make things difficult! Let me give you an example: When I left my first wife and chose to have two affairs with two different women... I knew it was wrong. I don’t know if I ever would have called it “sin” back then, because the word “sin” wasn’t in my vocabulary, but I knew it was wrong... I was defiant. I was entitled. And I was going to do what I wanted to do and nobody could or would tell me any different. I knew it was wrong but I justified my thoughts and rationalized my behavior. And now I see myself in so many of you. "Dustin, when is lust actually lust? How long is “too long” to look? Dustin, I know that I’m not supposed to be sleeping with my girlfriend, but see...we love one another, and you don’t want me to hold back my love from her right? Dustin, is masturbation a sin? How can pornography hurt anyone?" Brothers and sisters, ladies and gentlemen… time and time again, I will point you back to Genesis 2:24. Not my words, but God’s...God’s Word’s reiterated by His Son Jesus Christ. Look, even if you’re not a Christian…I understand the skepticism. But the reason I believe this to be true is because anyone who claims to be God, predicts His own death and then rises from the dead and then shows Himself to hundreds of people afterward to prove to us that He is exactly who He said He was...has the authority over everything and everyone. Secondly, I believe this to be true, because I tried the world’s way. It didn’t work out so well. I was an addict for over 20 years of my life..and if you want to hear the whole story, visit DustinDanielsRadio.com. We tend to frame this discussion as God, being a grumpy grandfather type stereotypical character and cosmic kill joy...instead of a Loving Father who only wants the very best for you. Pastor James MacDonald says something like this...We don’t realize that when God says don’t, He is saying “don’t hurt yourself”. But we continue to hurt ourselves. Our country has hurt itself again, by legalizing sexual sin. And the Church still doesn't know how to deal with same sex attraction, homosexuality, and now gay legalized marriage. So on today’s show, I wanted give a very clear picture of where we are from a Biblical Worldview on this topic of homosexuality.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. -Ephesians 5 Today we are going to talk about the mystery of marriage, and the mystery -the one thing - that makes marriage so unique from any other relationship- so special…SEX! The sexual union that is specific to a marriage (covenant relationship between one man and one woman under God.) I heard a sermon by Dr. Jim Garlow. He is the pastor of Skyline Church in San Diego California. He does a marvelous job of explaining the creation account of marriage….and today I wanted to share some of those notes that I took from that sermon with you.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7 For wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; Proverbs 2:10 An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. Proverbs 18:15 We as a culture are fascinated with knowledge aren’t we? Dare I say “addicted to education”, obsessed with our studies, longing to learn new things that will allow us to get the next promotion, be a better parent or lose that dreaded ten pounds. But what about learning things of the spiritual world? It’s amazing to me what Jesus told us. In Matthew 18:3 - Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. The apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 1:27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;. And I love the snippet of scripture in John 3 - a conversation between Jesus and a religious man named Nicodemus. This guy was THE teacher in all of Israel….and everything he had ever learned and taught was wrong about salvation- this concept of being saved from our sins. So how does all this relate to God’s definition sexual purity. Is it possible that you may have learned some incorrect things about sexuality growing up? Of course, we all have! So, how do we unlearn them? And then how do we learn the beauty, the majesty and the glory of what God says sexuality and purity really truly is? That is our topic for today… Godly Wisdom.

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20 …. for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 10 “Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God’s mercy. -1 Peter 2:9-10 Who are you? That is the question of today’s show. Now some of you might be thinking, well…I’m a banker, plumber, realtor. No….that’s what you do for a living. The question is…. startling really. Who are you? Some of you may start thinking about things that your parents or other kids as you were growing up called you…ya know…things that aren’t so nice. And those things unfortunately seem to play over and over in our heads when we become adults and believe it or not…they affect our relationships. But see, that’s not who you are either. We just kind of latch on to those names - those associations - those failures in our life. It seems to me that we have a case of mistaken identity in the Church. Let's find out why, as we tackle the topic of topic of Identity…Who are you?

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; - 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 How many times have you asked yourself, what is God’s will for my life? Does God really have a plan for my life? How do I know, will I ever know? If you have never asked those deep questions of life, you may want to see if you have a pulse! Today we are going to address the topic of God’s will for your life!

John 15:1-8 is an amazing passage of scripture. Jesus is talking to His disciples just hours before Roman soldiers took him away to be murdered for our sins. This idea of abiding means to remain in Christ, continuing to stay close to Him through the good times and the bad - staying steadfast and not leaving - not forsaking no matter what happens in your life. And isn’t just like the Lord Jesus to make His point so simply, by using a vine. In this week's show we're going to talk about this idea of abiding, and how you can start making a conscious effort to abide in the Lord Jesus Christ.

You have probably heard about a book titled, 50 Shades of Grey. Many of you have read this book….and there is no doubt you have an opinion on it. 50 Shades has sold more than a hundred million copies and the movie version is coming out on Valentines Day. So my dear sisters in Christ… you are in for a very special treat today. On todays’s show I wanted us to get a proper perspective on the 50 Shades of Grey - what it means for you sexually and spiritually. For you men and husbands…you have the privilege of listening in on a conversation that will reveal the longings of a woman's heart! My guest is Dr. Juli Slattery. You may recognize her name as she is a returning guest when she and Linda Dillow were on the show last June speaking on their book and video series “Passion Pursuit”. Juli is a clinical psychologist and the cofounder of Authentic Intimacy. We discuss Juli's response to 50 Shades with "Pulling Back The Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart"

A couple weeks ago we talked about New Years Resolutions vs. Finding the Rhythm of God in your life for 2015. What we discussed was Finding God’s Rhythm to pray in a way that doesn’t benefit yourself…. but glorifies our Savior. We used the scripture from Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. I’m curious if you prayed that scripture as your New Years resolution for 2015. It’s a little scary isn’t it….to not pray for Almighty God to make your life more comfortable, but rather give that illusion of control over your life… to Him, so that He can start dealing with your heart wounds and fears. It’s one thing to make a New Years Resolution to lose weight, but its a life altering prayer… to ask God to search your heart so that you know why you’re masking your pain with too much food in the first place. It’s one thing to make a New Years Resolution to prepare a financial budget so you know where your money is going. But its a life transforming prayer to ask God to search your heart and expose the greed, the materialism, and the lust of this world that reigns deep in your heart. Its one thing to make a New Years Resolution to stop looking at pornography. But its a bold prayer filled with the promise of freedom when you ask God to search your heart and open up the shame issue that drives you to medicate your life with sex in the first place. We also answer questions from Kyle in Kansas City Missouri and who wants to know the deal with the show's theme music and Jill from Toronto Canada who saw the woman her husband had an affair with at the grocery store.

Before I met the Lord Jesus Christ, I used to be a total secular rock and roll guy. Remember the hairbands in the 80’s (Bon Jovi, Poison, Motley Crue) and all the grunge rock in the 90’s (Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots). I used to listen to that kind of music 24/7. Last week my wife Amy and I started playing our own version of “Name that Tune”. We each had our phone, and jumped on YouTube to play a little clip of music. As we were doing this, it brought me back to the 1980’s and 1990’s. But here’s the thing. I never realized the horrible…downright awful ungodly lyrics in the songs that I sang over and over again. Has that ever happened to you? You hear a song that you haven’t heard for years or decades and then all of sudden you realize the words your actually singing? 1 John 2 speaks, of the danger of loving this world, and I gotta tell ya…I loved the world back then…and those lyrics that I used to sing proved it… So the question for you today is….as we start off the new year of 2015….as a Christ centered person…do I love this world? We also answer a question from Jeremy. He wants to know what comorbidity is, and why he should care.

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Gal 2:20 Have you ever pondered that? That you are a new creation. You’re not just some shiny new update of your old worn out self….but God says that if you have accepted Christ as your Savior, He has taken your heart of stone and given you a heart of flesh. You are a new creation! Christ lives in you! Now some of you might be thinking….ya know Dustin, I’ve heard that, and I read that….but it really is so hard for me to believe it because you just don’t know me. You don’t what goes through my crazy mind…and besides I keep doing the very things that I hate doing. I thought I was supposed to stop doing all those hurtful things but I haven’t. And to be honest there is a part of me that still likes my sin too much. Is that how you feel? Can I share with you that I get it. I get the fact that you have crazy things going through your mind, and I get it that you think that if someone really found out about the type of person you really are, no one would want to hang out with you. I’ve been there done that and bought way too many t-shirts in this area of my life. And then one day I found a scripture that pierced by soul. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. - James 4:8 Double-minded! OUCH! Ya know the truth will set you free but it hurts like crazy first. What does it mean to be double-minded? Listen to the show to find out!

We are obsessed with this idea of love aren’t we? From the songs we listen to, to the movies we watch and the books we read, we are totally and completely preoccupied with this concept of love. And yet, I’m not sure we even know what love is. For most of us, its simply a feeling that we enjoy when things are going our way, but when we don’t get what we want out of a particular relationship the feeling simply goes away and we “fall out of love.” That’s why its so important to have a biblical worldview instead of your own personal worldview in which you approach your life and circumstances. I remember being in college one semester and trying to impress my professor. I told him I was an atheist, just like him. After the semester was over, I decided that wasn’t working for me, so I joked around with my friends that I was forming a new religion called “Dustin-ism”. Well, I gotta tell ya, that didn’t work out so well for me either. It never works out well when you crown yourself King and expect everyone to serve you, does it? In fact that is the very opposite of biblical love. Let’s go to 1 Corinthians 13 and do a small exercise. You may have done this in Sunday school class….but what I want you to do is simply replace the words “love and it” with your name as you read the passage. Well, what do you think? Love from a biblical perspective is anything but a feeling. In fact love from a biblical perspective is not a feeling at all. Love is a person. 1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. All we have to do is look at the life of Jesus to see what love is because He is the author and sustainer of love. My guests are a father and son who speak on love, sex and women from the perspective of a young man asking real authentic questions to his father as he learns to live life on his own. Guest: John Eldredge & Sam Eldredge Book: Killing Lions: A Guide Through The Trials Young Men Face

When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. -1 Corinthians 13:11-12 I grew up without a father… even though I three. I had my biological father and then two step fathers. My biological father never really grew up. He was always looking for a good time because he constantly had a beer in one hand and women on his mind. Now I’ve got more stories about my father, and many more stories about my step-fathers, but you did not tune in, to hear that kind of dysfunction. You tuned in to hear and see what it looks like to be a Godly father, and its a good thing too, because today on the show I have a father and son who have written a book together that is a Guide through the Trials Young Men Face. Guest: John Eldredge & Sam Eldredge Book: Killing Lions: A Guide Through The Trials Young Men Face

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. -Galatians 5:1 MSG Have you ever thought to yourself, that Christ has indeed forgiven others…and he has forgiven me….except for this one thing. I mean how could God forgive me for that? (whatever that may be). Maybe it was something you did or maybe it was something that was done to you….regardless of what it is….there’s a voice deep down inside of you telling you that, whatever that thing is….it’s unforgivable. You tell yourself that Jesus has forgiven others, but He can’t forgive me. I’ve heard that, I’ve said that and believed that lie for many years of my own life. It kept me bound up in silence and shame for over 20 years. And now I hear that same exact lie from other men and women. It’s amazing…shame and the demonic spiritual world don’t have any new tricks. They spew the same lies to all of humanity, and they’ve been doing exactly that since The Fall. So what do you do when you hear that lie of unworthiness? The only thing to do is replace the lie with Truth…the truth of Galatians 5 - that Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. Another lie that we tend to believe is that Jesus can set others free from the bondage of pornography, but not me. I’ve been looking too long, I live a secret life, it would hurt my family too much if they found out, I would lose my job, my Church, my ministry. So we continue to believe that lie and step back into a self-imposed prison filled with shame by voluntarily putting that harness of slavery of pornography around our neck. Is it true? That Jesus can set others free from the bondage of pornography, except me. Well, my guest today has a lot to say regarding that question. Guest: Stephen Kuhn Book: 10 Lies Men Believe About Porn Website: http://www.beltoftruth.com

There is so much God given power in your testimony. There is power and hope in your story…if only you are willing to share it. Today we have the privilege of hearing an amazing story of arrogance, pride, sexual addiction that turns into repentance, humbleness and freedom in Jesus Christ. With his new found freedom, Stephen Kuhn discusses his new book titled, 10 Lies Men Believe About Porn. Guest: Stephen Kuhn Book: 10 Lies Men Believe About Porn Website: http://www.beltoftruth.com

This show is Q&A: I just started listening to your show and have a question. I heard you say that the issue is not really the issue. Can you explain further? How is porn not really the issue in my life?

Some Pharisees… came and tried to trap Jesus with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?” Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?” “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.” But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” - Gospel of Mark 10:2-9 How many times have you heard the devastating statistics on divorce? From TV reports to your pastor quoting stats from the pulpit, your pre-marital counselor scaring you into staying married..and now your marriage counselor not sure if your marriage will survive because after all the divorce rate is 50%… I bet you can quote the other stats as well. I also bet you can tell me that the divorce rate is the same inside the Church as it is outside. Haven’t we all heard these depressing life-less numbers? I’m certainly guilty of it. But ya know something…I started noticing couples that had been married 40-50 years over the past several years. lots of them!…and I started to think, wait a second something just doesn’t seem right. All I have to do is look around and I’ll see examples of strong healthy marriages especially within the Church body. So where is this disconnect of life-less divorce rate statistics we hear about….vs the life long marriages Godly, committed marriages we can see…if only we would take a look. Well, today on the show we are going to get to the very bottom of the statistical confusion that has paralyzed our country and Church when it comes to marriage and divorce. Guest: Shaunti Feldhahn Book: The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce. Website: http://www.shaunti.com

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:31-32 Martin Luther King Jr, said, “The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind.” Forgiveness. It is one of the bedrock principles of our Christian faith. As Jesus hung from a bloodstained cross… “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” - Luke 23:34 Is it really possible to forgive your spouse, after some type of sexual betrayal….whether its pornography, an emotional affair or adultery. After all, your spouse promised to “have and hold only you” from your wedding day forward. And now that promise has been broken, and those vows …. shattered. Today, we discuss forgiveness, and the hope of a stronger marriage through the pain of sexual betrayal. Guest: Debbie Laaser Book: Shattered Vows: Hope & Healing For Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed Website: https://www.faithfulandtrue.com

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. -Hebrews 11:1 That is God’s Word, and it is true, because Almighty God is the only one who is Faithful and True. He is faithful to the faithless. On today’s program we will be speaking about our trust level in God when the unthinkable happens…when your spouse sexually betrays you. Whether its pornography, an emotional affair, or adultery…it doesn’t matter the kind of sin. Your spouse has been unfaithful and has hit you with an emotional baseball bat. How do you recover from such a blow…as you lie on the ground with the wind knocked out of you emotionally. Will you ever trust your spouse again? Will you ever trust God again? Guest: Debbie Laaser Book: Shattered Vows: Hope & Healing For Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed Website: https://www.faithfulandtrue.com

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. - Proverbs 18:22 Have you noticed that the God given institution of marriage is under attack from the world? We hear about statistics, we watch the news, we see the blatant disrespect for marriage on television and in the movies. And it seems that the world is evangelizing the Church instead of the Church evangelizing the world on this God given institution. It appears that many of us have given up trying to spend time with our wives. Apparently its just easier to medicate ourselves with work, sports and porn instead of re-engaging in the activities that we did to pursue our spouse in the first place. Well, I’ve got news. It doesn’t have to be that way! By the grace that is given through Almighty God, you have the ability to engage and to strengthen your marriage by dating your wife once again. Guest: Pastor Justin Buzzard Book: Date Your Wife Website: http://www.justinbuzzard.net

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. - Ephesians 5:25 Gentlemen…If you have to summarize what is wrong with your marriage in a single sentence, what would it be? Now …do you recognize that men all over the world just thought a thousand different things? Brothers, that’s not good…at all. In fact I don’t even think we need a sentence to figure this out…we just need - one word. So let’s try this again….If you had to summarize what is wrong with your marriage with just one word, what would that word be? Let me see if I can help here....it starts with an M and ends with and E. Its ME! I’m what’s wrong with my marriage, and you are what’s wrong with yours! Isn’t it amazing how Almighty God has given man the ability to either be the best thing or the worst thing that ever happened to a marriage. Before you can be the best thing that ever happened to your marriage, you must see that you have been the worst thing …. first. Guest: Pastor Justin Buzzard Book: Date Your Wife Website: http://www.justinbuzzard.net

So Joshua went up from Gilgal, he and all the people of war with him…. and all the mighty men of valor. --Joshua 10:7 What does it look like to a mighty man of valor? What does it take to be a regular guy that has great courage in the face of great danger? Now, does this mean there are not brief moments of fear and doubt in your life? I would submit to you that a mighty man of valor is someone who moves toward those moments of fear and doubt and embraces them….instead of letting it paralyze and silence them. So…let’s bring this analogy into the realm of your sexual sin. Just like Joshua was in a real physical battle in Jericho, there is a very real spiritual battle that rages around you dealing with your sexual integrity. What does it look like to be a man of valor in today’s culture? What does it look like for you to be a Godly man of character and purity? Someone who is faithful and true to His God, his spouse, friends and Church. Guest: Dr. Mark Laaser Book: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Website: https://www.faithfulandtrue.com

They offer superficial treatments for my people’s mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace. Are they ashamed of these disgusting actions? Not at all—they don’t even know how to blush. -Jeremiah 8:11-12a Have you ever noticed that the world wants to fix you in five easy steps? Ten minutes a day will revolutionize your life! Drink this, eat that…. Sadly we do this with advice, coaching and counseling, as well don’t we? Always looking at the behavior and never really dealing with the root problem. The world offer’s superficial treatment for the Church’s mortal wounds…especially when it comes to the wounds of sexual sin. Today on the program, we’re going to discuss the root of the sexual sin problem….and learn how to heal those wounds. Guest: Dr. Mark Laaser Book: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Website: https://www.faithfulandtrue.com

… the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we don’t know how to pray for what we need. But the Spirit intercedes along with our groans that cannot be expressed in words. - Romans 8:26 How many times have you heard this? “Well, I guess all we can do now… is just pray about it? Why do you think its our natural tendency to do everything we can first….and then when that fails we turn to prayer as a last resort. And then when we do turn to prayer….we don’t even know how to pray for the circumstance we’re in…just like the Apostle Paul states Romans 8:26. Is it possible that we have turned prayer into a religious activity…when Almighty God simply wants us to have a conversation with Him throughout the day. This means, both speaking and listening. Ladies, are you concerned about your marriage? Is your marriage everything you ever dreamed it would be as a little girl? Single ladies… are you wondering when the Lover of Your Soul will give you a Godly man that will love and protect you from the marriage day forward? How do you as your husband’s helper and help mate become that Proverbs 31 woman? Guest: Sharon Jaynes Book: Praying For Your Husband From Head to Toe Website: http://sharonjaynes.com

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it… labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake… in vain. -Psalm 127:1 Have you ever put this verse in context with your own marriage…your own home? How…exactly are you strengthening your home, coming along side your husband or wife and teaching your children? Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Those are some pretty sobering words for all of us….and on todays show we’re really going to get practical on how to build your home, marriage and family….all from the wife’s perspective by learning how to pray for your husband from head to toe. Guest: Sharon Jaynes Book: Praying For Your Husband From Head to Toe Website: http://sharonjaynes.com

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4 Whenever I hear the word… “desire”, the first thing I think of is Bono and the boys of the rock band U2. “Desire”…don’t worry I won’t sing it for you, I’ve been asked not to even sing in the shower, but I do like that song. The second thing I think about… is how my desires tend to be…..hmmm, not so Godly. Not so healthy. And for the first 30 years of my life, I just simply….just gave into those desires with little or no thought. But after meeting Jesus… there was this strange new tension, struggle and yearning. Especially when it came to sex. Have you felt like your own desires are… sideways? Like this longing in your heart is just bent, it’s just twisted. Is it really possible that Psalm 37:4 could be true in your life? That Almighty God wants to fill your heart with a Godly desire…that you didn’t even know you had? Guest: Christopher West Book: Fill These Hearts: God, Sex & The Universal Longing Website: http://corproject.com

The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son… from the Father, full of grace and truth. -ESV Have you ever pondered that text from John 1:14? That Almighty God would step down off His throne where myriads of angels continually sing Holy, Holy Holy….for the sole purpose of showing us how to live, how to die, defeating death and casting our sins as far as the east is from the west. Yes my dear Brothers and Sisters the veil has indeed been torn. How? The Word became flesh…. Why? Why would the Word (Jesus Christ) become flesh? Revelation 21:3 tells us: Behold, the dwelling place of God is with….man. He will dwell among them….and they will be His people… and God Himself will be with them… as their God. Wow! So, if Jesus Christ became flesh, and He is physically going to dwell among His people in the New Heaven & the New Earth….why do we as His bride tend to think our own physical bodies as…. bad? That somehow our flesh is just a mere “tent” that houses all our evil desires? Is that really the case? Have we really ever considered the theology of our bodies? Guest: Christopher West Book: Fill These Hearts: God, Sex & The Universal Longing Website: http://corproject.com

Teach us to number our days so that we may truly live and achieve wisdom. — Psalm 90:12 The old adage is true isn’t it? The days are long, but the years are short. And when it comes to numbering our days, the priorities in our life must be addressed. The things that don’t seem like priorities seem to weasel their ugly little head to the forefront of our lives… and the truly important things….well, they tend to get pushed aside another day, another week…and so on. Today, I want us to think about ….our intimacy priority with our spouse. I want us to reflect on Psalm 90:12 and ponder how short life really is so that we can truly learn to live in the communion of God and in communion with our spouse through the lens of intimacy….a one flesh union - of husband and wife. So the big question for today is specifically for my dear married Sisters in Christ….Am I pursuing passion God’s way in my marriage? Guest: Linda Dillow & Dr. Juli Slattery Book: Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? Website: http://www.authenticintimacy.com

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. -Proverbs 31:10-12 My dear married Sisters in Christ…let me ask you this. Can sex…be holy and erotic? Do you truly believe that Almighty God has an opinion… on sex? Would I make you blush if I told you that God’s intention for husband and wife is to have eye popping pleasure… and soul to soul intimacy?! Have you ever pursued this kind of holy passion? Would you consider it? Well, My guests today invite you into this journey….a journey titled “Passion Pursuit”. Guest: Linda Dillow & Dr. Juli Slattery Book: Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? Website: http://www.authenticintimacy.com

Don’t love the (Digital) world’s ways. Don’t love the (Digital) world’s goods. Love of (Technology) squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the (Digital) world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important (on Facebook, Twitter or Linked In) —has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from Him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity. 1 John 2:15 from The Message with a few added words for effect from yours truly. Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out from life in the digital world? Does this idea of living freely and lightly sound to good to be true? I’m curious to know what happens when you head out the door for school or work and you forget your phone. Do you turn around to get it? Are you easily irritable when your email is not working? How do you respond when you can’t connect to your Wifi? Is your laptop/tablet rendered useless at that point? Today we are continuing our conversation on how technology is shaping us…how its molding us…how its literally changing the way we think and reprogramming our brains. This Digital Invasion in our lives has had a huge impact on relationships in particular…with dating, sex, marriage and pornography. Guest: Dr. Archibald Hart & Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd Book: The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You & Your Relationships Website: www.thedigitalinvasion.com

Do not be conformed to this…. (digital) world… but be transformed by the renewing of your…. (unplugged, Christlike) mind. —-Romans 12:2 So be careful how you live (in this digital world). Don’t live like fools (checking email every hour), but live like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly…. (by your postings on Facebook), but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Ephesians 5:15 Now some of you are thinking….hey man, that’s not what scripture says….you’re messing with the text! Will you forgive me if I did it for effect? So let me ask you this: How many times per day do you check email? How much time do you spend on Facebook per day? How many times per day do you tweet? Would you rather text someone or call them? How much time do you spend looking at pornography? Or maybe you’re not looking at things that the world would consider pornographic, but they are things that are not healthy and will eventually lead you down that roads. So really the big question for today’s show is: Have you ever stopped and considered how technology is shaping you and your relationships? If we want to learn how to be pure and undefiled from the world, then we certainly want to exam our use of technology. Guest: Dr. Archibald Hart & Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd Book: The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You & Your Relationships Website: www.thedigitalinvasion.com

or our sake… God made Jesus to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Jesus we might become the righteousness of God - 2 Corinthians 5:21 Have you ever pondered what really happened on the that wooden…bloodstained…Roman cross? Have you ever meditated on what truly transpired that day? A transaction between God the Father and God the Son that seems to good to be true. Ahhh, but its not. It is true! That Almighty God would step down off His throne in Heaven to become flesh, to become His own creation to show us how to live, how to die while at the same time being the substitution for our sins…that Jesus alone bore the rightful and holy wrath of The Father so that we could be in a right and pure relationship with Him once again. So here’s the big question? How can we possibly wrap our minds and hearts around this? How can we ever understand the love of Almighty God? How can we ever learn to actually live…truly live in the Father’s affection? Guest: Wayne Jacobsen Book: He Loves Me - Learning to Live in the Father's Affection Website: http://lifestream.org

Do you remember this game as a child…the one where you take a flower, and the precious little girl would slowly pluck the petals off the flower and say “He loves me, he loves me not”? I wonder how many of us have unknowingly brought this seemingly harmless little game into our adult life. It could certainly be with our marriage…but let’s ponder this question with our relationship with God. Is it possible that we have turned this little childhood game into our theology when it comes to knowing our Heavenly Father? Do we think God loves us more based upon our attitudes and actions…or is it really possible that He would love us for the sole purpose of loving us because we are His children? Guest: Wayne Jacobsen Book: He Loves Me - Learning to Live in the Father's Affection Website: http://lifestream.org

Who can ever forget the 1992 Olympics… With the help of his father, Derek Redmond finished the 400-meters race after tearing his hamstring. And here’s a name that you may not recognize….Bert Trautmann. Bert may have been before your time. He was a professional soccer goalie for Manchester City. Bert finished the 1956 FA Cup with a broken neck. We as a culture love and admire these great athletes because they are willing to do anything to win. No matter what the cost, no matter how much pain….they play through the pain. They know how to play…hurt. So this week, we continue our conversation about how to play through the pain and the hurt during those tough seasons in marriage, and learn how to become a thermostat rather than a thermometer. Guest: Pastor Brian Goins Book: Playing Hurt - A Guy's Strategy for a Winning Marriage Website: http://catapultconcepts.org

We as a culture love and admire great athletes because they are willing to do anything to win. No matter what the cost, no matter how much pain….they play through the pain. They know how to play…hurt. In this show, we discuss how to play through the pain and the hurt during those tough seasons in marriage. Guest: Pastor Brian Goins Book: Playing Hurt - A Guy's Strategy for a Winning Marriage Website: http://catapultconcepts.org

In this week's show we continue our conversation with Shannon Hoffpauir. She is no stranger to the questions that middle school and high school girls ask. Questions that may make a parent, pastor or teacher squirm or blush... especially when it comes to homosexuality and oral sex, Shannon handles through Biblical Truth and grace-filled relationships. Guest: Shannon Hoffpauir Website: www.OikosMinistries.org

Do kids have an internal hunger for God's Word? Our guest this week has spent the last two decades teaching students and says emphatically.... "YES!" they do. We'll also discuss how kids are more curious rather than embarrassed by sex, and provide a great example as to how to have the "sex, sexuality and pornography" discussion with your kids. Guest: Shannon Hoffpauir Website: www.OikosMinistries.org

Have you ever considered the one unique characteristic that separates marriage from every other relationship? We continue our conversation with Dr. Tim Kimmel and his new book Grace Filled Marriage, and chat about what he calls "Grace Filled Sex." Guest: Dr. Tim Kimmel Book: Grace Filled Marriage Website: www.FamilyMatters.net

As many of you know, one of the core values and topics of this radio program is the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman....and the love that binds husband and wife together in holy matrimony. We also talk about the respect that is needed in marriage, but our guest today would also like us to consider another element in our marriages that may be easily overlooked. GRACE! Guest: Dr. Tim Kimmel Book: Grace Filled Marriage Website: www.FamilyMatters.net

As you well know, "marriage" is under attack from the world. Have you ever really considered why? Have you ever pondered what is marriage, and why all the press around it for the last several years? In this show Bill Harbeck defines what marriage is from God's perspective, explains the devastation of abuse and pornography in marriage, and how breaking the silence is the first step to being free from the bondage of shame. Guest: Bill Harbeck Book: Shattered

Abuse is not only shameful for the individual, but also for our culture. One out of every four girls and one out of every six boys are sexually abused. If that weren't tragic enough, pornography seems to be the silent sexual abuser of our generation causing all sorts of trauma for our children. Thankfully there is Holding Onto Hope Ministries. Bill Harbeck shares with us his story and the mission God has given to him in responding to the abuse epidemic. Guest: Bill Harbeck Book: Shattered

In our follow up from last week's show I wanted to discuss how pornography is not love. Porn is called lust, and lust is... anti love, anti God and anti relationships. Lust insists that it gets what it wants... exactly how it wants it. I also share how to start the discussion with your church and how to setup a conference dealing with sexual purity from the example of the Community Church of Joy in Phoenix.

Have you ever asked yourself, "What exactly is love?" Love is not a “thing”. It’s not fixation, it’s not a fad or an obsession. It’s not a feeling, an emotion or a sensation…In fact, Love isn’t even an “it”. Love is a person. God didn’t just create love….in 1 John 4, God tells us that God Himself is Love. Love is a person. And His is name is, Jesus the Christ.

We continue our conversation with author and speaker, Shelley Hitz, regarding women and pornography. We discuss how the Church has responded to her book, how porn is like the movie "Little Shop of Horrors", the differences between "footholds and strongholds", along the importance of a father. Guest: Shelley Hitz Book: A Christian Woman's Guide to Breaking Free From Pornography

What are the main differences between men and women when it comes to looking at pornography? Are magazines and erotica books pornography? What are some of the blessings that Almighty God gives for those who stick out and fight for their marriage after a long period of sexual sin? Author and speaker, Shelley Hitz, shares with us from her own personal experience in answering these questions. Guest: Shelley Hitz Book: A Christian Woman's Guide to Breaking Free From Pornography

We must ask ourselves this question, "When I look at pornography...am I committing adultery?" Jesus' words are crystal clear on this issue. However, most of the Church tends to gloss over this passage and think that Jesus really doesn't mean what He is saying in Matthew 5:27. We don't need a second opinion, but just out of curiosity...why not ask your wife? If you're single, ask a trusted female friend. Could it be that the reason we don't want to ask is because we know exactly what the answer will be? In this show we dive into the very words of Jesus on the subject of porn, and the consequences that will eventually show up in your life due to sexual sin. Guest: Dr. Jay Dennis Book: Our Hardcore Battle Plan.

What happens when Almighty God lays an entire sexual purity movement on the heart of a Baptist Pastor from Florida? Well, He gathers together one million Godly men to stand up and draw a line in the sand when it comes to pornography in their lives! Dr. Jay Dennis shares how God gave him the vision for this movement and how you can be a part of it!

A lot of women will ask, "How will I know that my husband is serious about getting rid of pornography? He has apologized and even cried asking for forgiveness." She is asking about the difference between Godly sorrow & worldly sorrow....which in all reality is a question of life or death. In this show, Dr. Heath Lambert shares a few stories about the difference between the two, along with the one key factor of Godly sorrow that leads to life. Guest: Dr. Heath Lambert Book: Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace