Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funnyâ€
Listeners of Hello Dysfunction that love the show mention: love crystal, sorry ladies, barbie, keep it going girls, hella entertaining, aunties, anyone can relate, thank you crystal, hella funny, touch on so many, ladies every week, childhood stories, devoted listener, tias, listening to crystal, dysfunctional, everrrr, women make, sex work, weekly fix.
The Hello Dysfunction podcast is a truly refreshing and entertaining show that provides a welcome escape and sense of camaraderie for its listeners. Hosted by Crystal and Patafria, the podcast dives into various topics ranging from mental health to friendship banter, all while maintaining an authentic and relatable vibe. The hosts have a genuine connection that shines through in their conversations, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere that makes listeners feel like they're part of the dysfunctional family.
One of the best aspects of The Hello Dysfunction podcast is the way it injects humor into everyday life experiences. Crystal and Patafria have an incredible knack for storytelling, sharing their funniest anecdotes with infectious laughter. Whether you're driving, working out, or just looking for some entertainment during a mundane day at work, this podcast is sure to put a smile on your face. The hosts' compassion and love for their audience is evident, leaving listeners inspired to do better in their own lives.
A noteworthy aspect of this podcast is its ability to evoke nostalgia and make listeners feel like they're catching up with old friends. The dynamic between Crystal and Patafria is reminiscent of close friendships, where inside jokes are shared freely and cherished memories are revisited. This creates a sense of intimacy that draws listeners in and keeps them engaged throughout each episode.
While there aren't many negative aspects to highlight about The Hello Dysfunction podcast, some listeners may find the content too specific to certain topics or experiences. Although Crystal and Patafria's openness about mental health and sex work can be enlightening for some, it may not resonate with everyone. However, this specificity also contributes to the unique charm of the show and ensures that those who do relate will find solace in knowing they're not alone.
In conclusion, The Hello Dysfunction podcast is a must-listen for anyone seeking laughter, relatability, and honest discussions about everyday life experiences. Crystal and Patafria's authenticity and humor make each episode a joy to listen to, with stories that will have you cringing, laughing, and maybe even shedding a tear. Whether you're a podcast enthusiast or new to the medium, The Hello Dysfunction podcast is definitely worth adding to your rotation.
Antique water heater for sale, Crystal did Zumba, Kaitlyn's return and unicorn searches. Bloody boots, we're really sweaty, new teeth option and FCK ICE. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
It's 304 day, pride and men's mental health awareness month! A busy weekend, Filipino karaoke and Crystal thinks she's a poet. The boycotts aren't over, don't parasail alone and missing teeth can be hot. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Pat really likes her doctor, always kiss the judge's a*s, root canals are bad for you and Peez is outta control. Comedy show update, tired of the credit score game, Crystal is still talking to strangers and irrational fears are crippling. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
It's Stevi and Pat's birthday, mammograms aren't that bad, Crystal gave herself a haircut and Pat is warming up to animals. Eat better for your health, is Annabelle causing chaos, parenting is sometimes self healing and bring back MTV. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Mother's Day recap, Pat had a busy weekend, new possible beauty treatment and Crystal has an unwanted admirer. Miss Piggy was not ok, Pat is being set up, trust your kid's intuition and family can get cut off too. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Avon is mysteriously at CVS, Pat is having some scary stuff, we have matching jewels and need to stop speaking things into existence. Crystal has been sad, always get the money FIRST, ghosts are active and there's a new true crime show to binge. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Pat had another dream about Crystal, shopping with Carolyn is always fun, the impending doom of having something to do and sometimes our bodies are against us. Do you believe in reincarnation? The only cool thing about a Tesla, no white shoes and an update on piss over ice. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Pat's had a hard week, Mark is keeping secrets, doctors don't know everything and we curl our twos. Elvis was carrying a child, chew your coconut oil, interesting medical devices and only fake moan for people you love. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Crystal has lips, Pata Fria had a lonely weekend, Tahoe was turnt and merch is on the way. Surgery is coming up, Pata Fria wants an old school, catch our live streams on Patreon and Elephants are really amazing. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
The cats are in big trouble, Pata Fria is being humbled, Crystal made a medical device and all our kids are unique. Ghosts are acting up, our government is starting a lot of problems, men shouldn't be gynecologists and don't date violent people. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We're redecorating the set, Crystal finally dissolved her lips, medication adjustments are still happening and influenza is around again. Crystal had a kind exchange, Pata Fria is planning a vacation, the raccoons are getting too comfortable and Jimbo will always do the most.
Itsnotreal is a terrorist state, Home Depot was not welcoming to Pat, don't trust raggedy dentist offices and Crystal had a really close call. Going to sleep is embarrassing, sometimes you have to parent the parents, Crystal is in the Mandela effect and do not play about your credit. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Crystal is sick, it's raining again, make sure you subscribe on your web browser and Pat embarrassed herself once again. Don't sniff salts, we love green flags, daylight savings is causing harm and don't snitch on your co-workers. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Don't drink a whole pot of coffee, Pat needs her glasses, all-star is finally over and watch out for red flags. Crystal was back at the hospital, tv used to be brutal, sometimes karma is on time and onions are good suckers. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Crystal is adjusting to a new medication, be your own valentine, Pat is working toward her independent goals and Stevi had a hospital visit. Trump is so petty, Kendrick did a great job, hoes get your heels ready and emergency responders are hot. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
It's Groundhog Day, dementia is not for the weak, Peez is punching people and Bunny went on a date. Mark needs to grow his hair out, jail dating can be lucrative, cure for hot flashes and Pat does not offer massage. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We're back! Happy Birthday Stinkers, Peez loves Sugawolf, Nyah finally got a good doctor and you might still be carrying your baby daddy's DNA. We live in North Korea, Pat helps a neighbor sneak out, classical is medicine and don't steal from dead people. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Crystal had some major dental work, RIP Cat Woman, we need a shed and car stuff can be overwhelming. Carolyn won't listen and Jimbo might be her roommate, Pat's phone is full of mysteries, Crystal discovered a disgusting way to get high and we love a thrifting score. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Pat is your lesbian aunt that loves bowling, cigarettes are making a comeback, angry kids are not fun and angry cops are even worse. Everyone's getting migraines, monitor your kid's downloads, Facebook groups are a good time and basketball players are weirdly close. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
The energy is off in the world, you can't be an outlaw AND a bootlicker, follow criminal etiquette and you have to eat food. Merch orders are now open, pedis are great without the horny parts, roid rage is not fun and good men still exist, somewhere.. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Doctors can be frustrating, Carolyn's friends aren't robots, don't ignore your ailments and hang with us on discord! Don't be mean to us, teen years are for making mistakes, Crystal's cat wants in on the convo and merch is on the way! For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Unexpected expenses are so rude, exes need to stay away, men still don't know how to act and RIP MIMI. Customer service has gone down the toilet, we don't want new technology, older kids are the pricey ones and we love a good dessert. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
So many birthdays, there's guns at school, colonization never stopped and Crystal went thrifting with our patrons. Santana takes all the shine, back to back disgust, a little anal play might be fun and the exes always come back. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Marcellus Williams shouldn't have died, deathbed confessions are common, skunks are REEKING havoc and the car problems continue. We're all tired of gross men, Pata Fria is a vehicular genius, kids driving and humans functioning with exposed brain deserve recognition. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We're ALL in trouble, Pata Fria and Carolyn are sisters, cigarettes are Crystal's love language and dentists are scamming. Everyone's getting hacked, FB marketplace is addicting, Crystal hates babies and Pat wants to be poly again. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Carolyn has had enough of Crystal, Peez is making great choices, decorating is fun and Stinkers has been having a rough week. Our kids are never moving out, we enjoy being recognized, pay attention to new moles and there's a video going around that will terrify everyone. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We saw baby bobcats! don't discuss dreams till after you eat, RIP Phil Donahue, don't punish your statues and Pata Fria finally moved. Fully screen anyone around your kids, keep your episodes out of our DM's, camping was a good time and Peez doesn't bite her tongue. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Happy Anniversary to Crystal and Mark!, T needs to leave Crystal alone, be careful who you're doing favors for and Carolyn wants Jake. Pata Fria is trying new hair colors, Peez is growing up, stop finding creative uses for poop and grind your own meat. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Pata Fria has a shoulder injury, Crystal can see the notes from her psych evaluation, avoid processed meats and pervs are hiding cameras. Someone sh*t near Pata Fria's head, finally some great news, the garage sale is Sunday and cottage cheese is currently that girl. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We've had a rough week. Nyah's cotillion is coming, Pata Fria played a crazy prank, Carolyn acted a fool in Target and there's a special use for tape. Kamala is not a good person, justice for Sonya Massey, Pata Fria is collecting garbage and Crystal lives in a spider sanctuary. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We had some beauty treatments, it's Jimbo's birthday, Stinkers might need surgery and our judicial system is a JOKE. Mosquitos are evil, what's your communion snack, thrifting requires dedication and our presidential process is embarrassing. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We're back!! Crystal is feeling better, the hot weather is annoying, Charlene got Carolyn for her retirement gift and books are being enjoyed. Crystal's adhd screening is moving forward, another garage sale is happening, Pata Fria was able to see her daughter and men are still disgusting. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
The presidential debate was embarrassing, it's now illegal to be homeless, happy birthday Bunny and Peez allows Crystal to sing with her. Stevi is truly Crystal's child, there was almost a tragic accident, exes were hoping Pata Fria got killed and the Bay Area is getting scary again. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
We're recovering from a busy week, stomach bugs are going around, Peez is very two-faced and Crystal has a new hangout. Angering update about Graham, we hate a fake girls girl, Mark did an amazing thing and Pata Fria might be moving to Vermont. !!FREE PALESTINE!! For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Crystal created an amazing protein drink, the workouts continue, we're fond of mullets and Peez is not being nice. There are some cool discounts for low income people, an eventful first day of work, protect cheddar bay biscuits and beware of sneaky calories. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Hot weather is upon us, pollen is in full attack mode, Crystal got stretched and mental health is a constant struggle. Music in the 90s was filth, we are not confident surgeons, don't answer your door for strangers and we love movies that are aesthetically pleasing. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
© 2020-2025 Ivy Podcast Discovery LLC
