I Get It

We are taking a huge leap and relocating our family all while trying to buy a house in one of the worst housing markets in the country. But, more importantly, we are celebrating 14 years of marriage- lessons & takeaways. We talk sex, we talk divorce, we talk about how we have changed. And we get a bit cheesy, too. Sex podcast with the Connection Codes: www.connectioncodes.co/sextalk Join Connection Codes waitlist to start your journey to a more peaceful/happier marriage: www.connectioncodes.co/foundations

We know that there is a lot of exception and ultimately disappointment surrounding Valentine's day. But it is actually a great holiday at the heart of it. Today, we talk about setting realistic expectations, showing up for each other, and spreading love to those around you. 

If you have ever wanted more in your sexual relationship OR you have found yourself being the person unable to give more... this episode is a moment for you to not feel alone. We break down our most recent fight and how we don't have any guilt in what we individually desire while struggling that those two things don't meet.

Fear in the bedroom can be a roadblock to having great sex. Today, Wes and Tera break down their 5 top fears and process them together. It is insightful the types of fears that Tera realized first compared to Wes... and it wasn't at all what she expected. Today is definitely funny, easy to listen to, and relatable... but it isn't for small humans. If you want to learn how to easily process your emotions click here and use code igetit25 for 25% off

We haven't left our house in a week- so the thoughts are getting a bit random. But that just means we are sharing thoughts from all the things- work life, marriage, friendship… nothing too deep. Just take a breath with us.

We are one week and it is easy to feel our momentum ball starting to grow smaller. Today, we talk about keeping the momentum going and how to start it back when we lose it.

In this episode we talk about how we're setting up goals and resolutions for the new year! Rather than just saying somethings we want to be better at or do in the new year, we talk about who we want to become in life and how we can use the new year to fuel these goals. To connect with Tera: https://www.instagram.com/terawages/

The best way to end a year is to look back to both learn lessons & feel gratitude. You have to see where you have been so you can learn where you are going. Today's episode is personal, but there are a lot of lessons in it from financial vulnerability to our biggest marriage wins. We share mistakes and triumphs. We also show how to categorize your year to gain the best understanding of yourself. To connect with Tera: https://www.instagram.com/terawages/

This is a quote I've heard more than once & while it may technically be true, viewing our life by the hours we have doesn't actually correlate to how much we can achieve. Today, we talk about a different way to reframe our time when it comes to tackling our to do list.

Does your partner ever get mad just because you are mad? But you weren't even mad at them to begin with? Well, we struggle with that quite a lot around here. Today, we not so gracefully break down an argument we had just this past weekend. This is a real and honest play by play conversation between Wes and I, but at the end of it, we come to a nice resolution that if we can finally get into regular practice will change SO much about how we fight... and maybe how you do, too. The Connection Codes Course- discount IGETIT25 Tera's Instagram

If you are a mom or dad to toddlers & babies, this episode is for you. There is so much about being a new parent people talk about… but what they don't mention is the disconnect that happens in the bedroom. Today, we are here to help you gain some perspective, offer hope, and give a few tips to help you through this season. It is a tough one. We have been there… (and still are with one kid)… we get it!

Do you ever wish your husband would watch your kids? I know so many moms who have to beg or bribe their man to keep the kids and then leave them notes on what to do. Today, I (Tera) am sharing how we took baby steps to have play an equal role in being the caregiver for our kids… it is much harder on me than it is on him. And just a warning- your toes may get stepped on a little. But it is all with love.

Feeling awkward about talking about finances is just as common in relationships as talking about sex. There is so much hesitation in relationships for fear of an argument. Ayana Campbell Smith is helping couples everywhere break down that fear, change their mindset, and become debt free while still enjoying their life. She is here to talk saving buckets, budgeting, and helps settle an ongoing dispute between Wes & I. Find Ayana: www.millennialmoney.guide

From the title, it seems we are all over the place today but we are both sharing where we are at. Haha Wes is recovering from his vasectomy & I'm recovering from his intense travel schedule. Loneliness is often an overlooked emotion because it doesn't show up the way we expect it to. Today we talk about how it feels & what it's long term effects can do. Trigger warning- we go deep & touch on suicidal thoughts.

If you have ever been curious about spicing up your sex life but don't know where to begin, or you have wanted to ask your partner to incorporate a sex toy in the mix but are feeling nervous- this episode is for you. We dive into how we got started, what we have tried, and creating boundaries so you both feel safe. Obviously not a kid or my mom friendly episode.

I have found myself saying this phrase a lot recently then heard 4 other women mention their age as a barrier within 36 hours of each other. Is this a feeling carried only by women? Is this a thought valid? And what are we holding ourselves back from?

Even in the most wonderful marriages, there is no such thing as a "perfect" partner. There are always little things that we do as individuals that make the other person feel a tiny bit of rage inside. Today, we are sharing our pet peeves and showing no relationship is perfect.

Why do we talk about sex all the time? What is the big deal? Well, we all talk about it, even when we are avoiding the subject it is literally all around us. We want to change the narrative. We want to be in control of how that narrative affects us mentally. So, today we share why that matters and how bringing it up in the light actually opens us up to more freedom.

The wedding night was less than spectacular, and it set the tone for the next 12 years of our marriage. All of the fun stuff had been removed and now we were just getting it done. Today, we dive into mindsets, fears, and what held us back for so many years. THEN, we dive into what has pushed us forward into what we experience today. I will definitely have a vulnerability hangover after this one

Do you ever feel insecure when you enter a room filled with adults? I suddenly resort back to my 8 year old self of feeling awkward on the playground. Only now, I am 35 with 4 kids hanging from the monkey bars. I genuinely believed that friendships would get easier but in reality they just get more difficult to navigate. Today, we dissect why they are hard and what we can do to gain new ones.

Often times, women find themselves carrying the load of their home whether they are working full time or not. It is often invisible work that leads to resentment and burnout in marriage. Today, we hash through why we need to balance the weight and what it looks like to feel like the woman's time isn't valued. We also share about the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and the 100 tasks our household requires to help balance the scales.

I am guilty of saying... if you do____ I will have sex with you. But is sex meant to be earned? We have a few conflicting thoughts on the matter. Today, Wes & I share a conversation that breaks down what we think ACTUALLY creates a marriage where sex happens without the ultimatums.

Does having emotions or being rowdy make my kids bad? After reading an Instagram post about how parents should make sure their kids are “good,” I had to process a lot of emotions that I have battled from the time my first kid was 10 months old and hurt another kid for the first time. Being a parent feels impossible to navigate because each child is so different… and people without kids or “easy” (aka- compliant) kids are so quick to judge. We talk through handling those emotions and share the single most shameful moment we have had in parenthood.

Months since a date night shouldn't be the standard. Today's we talk about why they are important and what time together has done for our relationship.

We think just because we have a high school degree that we've learned all we can from grade school, but today we're learning about problems from one of our most favorite Kindergarten teachers taught us. When presented with a problem, how do we categorize it and then deal with the problem?

Wes & I have had our fair share of travel mishaps all across the world. After a recent trip that reminded us to expect the unexpected, we wanted to share our stories that are our once-in-a-lifetime moments. These are the stories we will tell our grandchildren to make their jaws drop. We will follow it up with why these things happen and why it is worth it anyways. If you like travel, drama, and "holy moly" moments, this episode is for you!

It is Tera's birthday week so she is jumping in to share 8 quick lessons that have impacted her life and who she is. This is an episode for anyone-- from friendship lessons to her motto for life to the purchase from 2020 that has put an extra pep in her step. Follow on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terawages/

I don't care to have sex very often. But my partner needs to feel intimacy. Today, we talk about our journey & break down 4 questions to sit down & dive into if you are feeling off balance in your own sex life. Disclaimer: We are 13 years in & still have years to go. We are just working to figure it out together & share that journey openly with y'all. This is a no judgement zone in either direction. Here are our struggles… hope they give you hope that wherever you are on your journey you feel a little more seen today.

Parenthood can either feel very, very lonely or it can feel like two teammates working together to raise a child. Teammates is always the goal, but it takes a lot of intention. Today's episode, we break down what that actually looks like, conversations (and arguments) we have worked through, and how we approach parenthood... together... as one.

*as peaceful as summer can be with tiny humans trying to rule your home. This week, we are talking all about actions Wes and I are taking to help cut down the 1,000 questions we get from our kids each day, to give them more control over their choices, and to create better daily habits. I will be honest, I didn't create ANY of these systems. I am sharing all of the goodness I have gathered over time and am putting into action. These systems aren't rocket science but they will help any parent looking for tips to create a more relaxing summer. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

Today was a life day. Life was unexpected. So, Tera is popping on real quick to share a lesson & how she & Wes handled processing. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

Well, if you have asked yourself that question ever in your life-- I am here to tell you, NO! Today's episode, Wes and I laugh through some of the more embarrassing sex moments we have shared all just to let you know that it isn't always hot and steamy. We all think it is just us trying to figure it out and everyone else has perfected their moves. I am here to let you know we, too, had lessons to learn. Connect with Tera: https://www.instagram.com/terawages/ Connect with Wes: https://www.instagram.com/weswages/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

Why does my spouse feel so distant from me? Well, it may be because we have created loneliness without even realizing we are doing it. Today we are talking about how even having the best of intentions sometimes doesn't keep us from damaging our relationship. We share how Wes and I have done it to each other and what we are doing to correct these habits. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

“I’m just not in the mood.” Is definitely a phrase we are familiar with. Or maybe you are thinking, “my spouse doesn’t want to have sex anymore.” We all experience it at one time or another- we physically, mentally, or emotionally just can’t show up sexually. Today we are diving into how we cope in seasons where sex is not meeting expectations because life is throwing exhausting curveballs. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

We always knew we wanted four kids, but we didn’t fully know what we were getting into. This episode we share the nitty gritty about life with a big family... the challenges & the unexpected. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

We have had lots of people ask us, how do I get started in real estate investing. And we know it is stressful figuring out how construction loans work, or if it is better to longterm rent or Airbnb. Today, we share our financial background, what bank accounts we have, and the journey to owning 11 apartments, plus an office building. We talk about sacrifices we made, the fear we felt, the nitty gritty decisions that gave us these opportunities, and why we believe anyone can do this. Disclaimer: We are definitely not financial advisors. Use your money wisely and make calculated risks. If you have questions about your personal finances, find a financial planner that can help answer your specific questions.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

Wes & I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this past week, so we are reminiscing on just how naive we were when we walked down that aisle. Getting married at 21 gave me the false courage to think I actually knew what I was getting into… but I was wrong. Today we share the 7 things we were clueless about when we got married & how we feel about it today. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/terawages/support

Perfectionist, workaholics, humans who are living in boxes other people created... this episode is for you. Author Caroline McGraw is in the studio today talking about her new book “You Don’t Owe Anyone” which is all about breaking free from living a life by other peoples rules. This interview & book are game changers is breaking down shame and stepping into your own desires. Preorder your copy of “You Don’t Owe Anyone” - https://awishcomeclear.com/tera-wages

Today marks one year of the I Get It podcast and Wes and I are sharing what the last year has taught us more than anything. Spoiler alert: It is how vulnerability opens the door to change your life. Today we share what being vulnerable has looked like for us and reasons why you should push past your fear and share where you are with people around you. We also dive into what we see going forward in 2021 with the podcast.

We are just getting by this week being on vacation & getting over sickness. Wes takes over asking Tera questions that both embarrass her & reveal some of her hidden secrets. Enjoy a brain break & we will be back in 2 weeks!

After releasing last week's episode, I knew we needed more. There was so much feedback from people who related to being hurt by the church... but we can't just stop there. We need action. This cycle has to end, and it can with you and me. Today, I share ways that we can be apart of the change, we can be a part of breaking the stigma of who a Christian is viewed as in 2021. I share some of my realizations and things I have done to start this process in my own life. Of course, there is so much more and it would be easy to just say, "Stop being rude and just love people." But that isn't enough anymore. Listen in for 3 areas to focus on to be more like Christ... and less like.... well... the pharisees.

Christianity and faith are such personal topics to dive into... the fear of judgement or backlash if people disagree. But we are here today sharing our journey... from being heavily involved, to wanting to never sit in a pew again, to learning what boundaries we need to have a healthy relationship with the church. It has had ups and downs and we have certainly hit some walls along the way. Disclaimer: I am a fallen human who is neither a pastor or theologian. Just a woman & man sharing their broken journey. In no way is our journey better or worse than yours. Not here to judge or compare. Just please do not hold me to a standard that is without mistakes, or think you stink if you have made some yourself.

It is Valentine's week and you may be wondering- What should I get my husband for Valentine's Day? Or is Galentine's worth celebrating? Maybe even, is this date even worth celebrating? Well today, we are diving into the 4 types of love are and tangible ways to show love to each other. It really isn't hard, but it does take intention. Listen for ideas, encouragement, and maybe even a small dose of reality. Connect with Tera: https://www.instagram.com/terawages/

Having confidence in our marriage and life starts within ourselves. But how do we do it? Today, I sit down with Dr. Hillary Delarosa, skin care wellness expert, mom, & wife, as we discuss how to feel sexy, what beauty looks like to us, and what we do to show up in the world as our best selves.... even with tiny humans pulling on our legs. I also finally break down my experience with botox and give all the nitty gritty details. This is such a fun episode that will leave you feeling inspired to invest in yourself without the guilt. Connect with Tera: https://www.instagram.com/terawages/ Connect with Dr. Delarosa: https://www.instagram.com/completeaestheticscare/

Have you ever watched a show or movie and been left dreaming for a life on the screen? Yea, me too. This past weekend. Then I had a HUGE realization that I had everything I wanted in front of me... maybe without the British accent. But listen to find out the simple act Wes did that made me love the reality I was in... and what you can do to be able to enjoy a show without feeling like you are missing something.

Do you feel disconnected from yourself? After a year of turmoil, and trying to just stand up straight, many of us have hit a wall. I am sharing today the realization of what has sent me over the edge, and how I am finding my way back to a healthy mental state. It isn't easy, and none of us are alone. Listen for action steps on how to find peace again in your home when outside our door is absolute chaos.

So often, we have an idea of what we think sex will be when we get married... then... 5 years down the road, we are often stagnate. We think "Why am I bad at sex?" "Am I broken?" or "What is the point?" We sit down with sexologist & sex therapist Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill as they talk through creating a sexual connection with your partner. They share their journey of how they have completely transformed their sex life and what sex actually does... for the woman! It is hope giving to any couple out there struggling between the sheets... and for those who are too tired to care. We don't hold back, so listen with tiny ears with caution ;) Girls Night with Phyllis: https://drglennhill.secure2.agroup.com/webinars/ladies-only-webinar-with-phyllis-echo-and-friends-saturday-jan-16-at-8pm-cst/2020-12-17+20%3A00%3A00 Late Night with Dr. Glenn & Phyllis: https://drglennhill.secure2.agroup.com/webinars/register-for-january-2021-late-night-with-glenn-phyllis/2020-12-19+20%3A00%3A00 Connection Codes: https://drglennhill.secure2.agroup.com/webinars/register-for-january-2021-connection-codes-webinar/2020-12-18+20%3A00%3A00 Connect with Tera: https://www.instagram.com/terawages/

Why does my partner seem angry all the time? Why aren't we having sex anymore? How do I get my spouse to open up to me about how they feel? If you are finding yourself in a relationship that is filled with disconnect or uncertainty, you certainly are not alone. And today, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill are going to introduce what they did that took their marriage from painful to complete bliss. Using scientific data Dr. Glenn can explain how our brain reacts to emotions that cause us to either connect or disconnect from our partner. It is truly mind blowing. They also introduce their webinar series "New Year, New Connections" that teaches their connection codes. And I can personally say, it is transformative. Join us! Connection Codes Webinar: https://drglennhill.secure2.agroup.com/webinars/register-for-january-2021-connection-codes-webinar/2020-12-18+20%3A00%3A00

After throwing out your 2020 planner in June, you may be hesitant to pick up a new one going into 2021. I get it. But, there are ways you can control your life in a world of chaos. On this episode, we are going to answer your questions, What goals should I set for 2021? How to I achieve goals? Is it ok if my goals are small? Should my husband and I have the same goals? Setting goals doesn't have to be what you think it is... change your mindset, change your life. Resources from this episode: Connect with Tera- https://www.instagram.com/terawages/ Michael Hyatt Full Focus Planner- http://fullfocusstore.com?aff=107 Atomic Habits by James Clear - https://amzn.to/3rzp2Ia Side Hustle School Podcast- https://sidehustleschool.com/

It is easy to get to the end of the year and feel like it was a complete failure to forget in move on. Ten years ago, Wes and I started doing a Year in Review at the end of each year & I have seen such a great change and focus in our marriage and lives over the years. I truly believe this is a guide if you are looking for clarity in your marriage and self. They say you learn from the past, but you can't learn from it if you never evaluate where you have been and what you learned. Join us as we dive into our 2020 and the lessons we are taking with us.

We have TWO weeks left of 2020. And right now, we are sitting in the breath. The tiniest bit of in-between with the most magical season upon us. Today, we are sharing how we are looking for signs of hope and what we are doing to make these last two weeks count as we come out of such a dark year.