Inherently Happy

Have you ever felt excluded? Did you scramble to fit in again to avoid being left out? Or take it as an opportunity to see what your own heart and mind was about?   [full text below]   Ep. 443 - Happy Outcast We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I was a popular kid when I was very young and super cute, But that all went away as I grew up awkward and weird, My ability to make friends disappeared making me destitute, And leaving me open to bullying, loneliness and all the things I feared. I fought against it as best I could, of course, trying to make friends on the sly, If I could just get people away from the crowds, I thought, they'd see I was cool, But it never lasted, the peer pressure was just too strong for them to defy, Something that lost its power over me as a general rule. If nothing you do has any effect on how others treat you, then you're free, I could dress how I liked, act how I liked, and be who I liked, It didn't change the frequency of the bullying, just the ammo they could use on me, But it stopped hitting the same way it once had--my fear and anger no longer spiked. Oddly, it was also a relief to not have to conform anymore, Conformity didn't help and nonconformity didn't hurt, So I chose nonconformity, which is quite a thing to explore, There's a freedom in being a Happy Outcast out in the cold and down in the dirt. I'm not saying it's ideal by any means, community is very meaningful to folks, Myself included, but when that's not an option, finding out who you are alone Is an important discovery to achieve even if it's just the broad strokes, It can grant you self-confidence beyond what you may previously have known. Have you ever felt excluded? Did you scramble to fit in again to avoid being left out? Or take it as an opportunity to see what your own heart and mind was about? Haha Yowza

So, how do you feel about being sad? A weakness, is it? Or a much-needed release? Do you worry about opening the floodgates even just a tad? [full text below] Ep. 442 - Sad Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Read the first letter of each line And you'll see a message Hidden like a secret sign. So, how do you feel about being sad? A weakness, is it? Or a much-needed release? Do you worry about opening the floodgates even just a tad? How about starting with just the tiniest dose of Sad? An amount so small it's something anyone can process? Purpose being, to get you accustomed to it without it feeling too bad. People need a chance to acclimate, to get over the initial stress, Yet not so slowly that they can't let go of any of the pain they had. Really, the idea is not to make you feel sad for sadness' sake, As Sad, like any mood, is not the goal, it's just a tool, a way to deal with life, How about something only mildly sad like a choice you did or didn't make. Read a sad story, listen to a sad song, or just contemplate inhumanity and fear, Acknowledge the absurd humor of it all so you don't wallow in sorrow, Hone your endurance, and you'll be able to stop crying after a single tear. Haha Yowza

I love a good old bit of encouragement, I do, And it can come from me just like it can come from you. And the flavor of encouragement I like works for both you and me. ‘Cause no one wants to be encouraged to be something they're not trying to be. [full text below] Ep. 441 - More Happy Encouragement We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I love a good old bit of encouragement, I do, And it can come from me just like it can come from you. And the flavor of encouragement I like works for both you and me. ‘Cause no one wants to be encouraged to be something they're not trying to be. So, that means you have to know what they--or you--want, So, you can encourage them--or you--to stick with it and be more than just nonchalant, Happy Encouragement is about the how, while praise is just about the what, And praise is all well and good, sure, but a dependency on it can get you stuck in a rut. Encourage someone--or yourself--to try something new--or again--to see if it works,  They--or you--don't have to be perfect or afraid to fail like the rest of them jerks, Don't lie and say it'll be easy, just say that pretty soon it might not seem so bad, Because you'll be stronger and better equipped to handle more than you ever had. Haha Yowza

The way you Stay Happy is by balancing work with play,  Making sure you find the fun in each and every day. [full text below] Ep. 440 - Stay Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Have you ever tread water? Like, rather than swimming you stay vertical instead. It can be an endurance test to those who see it that way, or even a survival skill. It's also a way of saying you aren't moving forward, just stuck in your own head. Or it can be a way to keep active and disciplined as you let your thoughts distill. Perseverance, tenacity, and stick-to-itiveness are all well and good traits, But putting them into practice may feel like a drudgery when it comes time, As human beings we have to put up with a lot, being the playthings of the Fates, And it can be hard to keep balance and growth when you might feel past your prime. The secret to maintaining it, the way you Stay Happy, is you balance work with play, That can be a hobby, an artistic expression, or just turning something into a game, When you were a little kid, you could come up with activities that could last all day, But as we mature into adults we devote more time to work, and life just isn't the same. So, make sure you find the fun every day, play a little game in your head if you have to, Notice patterns, try talking backwards, count pairs of things, make shapes with your hands, When I'm out walking in town, I balance on the edge of the curb, a game I never outgrew, It's why I was such a great babysitter, because playing is something every kid understands. Haha Yowza  

Happy Venting just means that you're choosing a safe outlet for what bugs you,  As opposed to a full-blown battle royale every time you get a tad bit upset, Keep things in perspective, let off a little steam without too much fuss or to-do, Because if you make it an obsession, you'll get stuck wallowing in emotional debt. [full text below] Ep. 439 - Happy Venting We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! The value of venting while various is by no means universally valid, Sure, it can be a great release, but it can also become a nasty habit, Constant complaining can turn the song in your heart into a bitter ballad, Transforming even the sweetest of bunnies into a vicious and angry rabbit. And who's going to want to listen to someone with nothing positive to say? Sure, it feels good to talk about what bothers us, especially if people agree, But there comes a point when it makes everything look like doomsday, ‘Cause if relationships get strained enough, even goodwill has no guarantee. Besides you may start feeling like the worst version of yourself too, The more you make a stink, the more you surrender your ability to cope, But reframe the blame, and accept that others make mistakes just like you do, And if they can avoid their own downfall, then maybe you too can dare to hope. Happy Venting just means that you're choosing a safe outlet for what bugs you,  As opposed to a full-blown battle royale every time you get a tad bit upset, Keep things in perspective, let off a little steam without too much fuss or to-do, Because if you make it an obsession, you'll get stuck wallowing in emotional debt. Haha Yowza

Sometimes we think we know what's going to happen before it does, And start moving in that direction before giving things a chance to play out, We've already decided, we know how this ends, it's always the same as it ever was, But if you're so certain about assuming the worst, that's the very curse you'll bring about. [full text below] Ep. 438 - Assume Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Sometimes we think we know what's going to happen before it does, And start moving in that direction before giving things a chance to play out, We've already decided, we know how this ends, it's always the same as it ever was, But if you're so certain about assuming the worst, that's the very curse you'll bring about. Here's an example about the time I went asking for a manager on a quiet afternoon, Not trying to cause a stink, just looking for a boon, Something happened at the hotel, you see, a couple days before, And I felt that some consideration should really be in store. You see the elevator broke down, on the way to meet friends for brunch, I doubt it was the first time it broke, though that's really just a hunch, I told the Wednesday clerk about it and asked her to leave a note, In their guest computer files, which is exactly what she wrote. Then three days later when I checked out I asked for a better rate, Because missing brunch thanks to their elevator is a feeling that wasn't great, The Saturday clerk didn't know me and so doubted my every word, So, I said perhaps the manager would allow me to be heard. The Saturday clerk did not like that, but begrudgingly complied with my request, The manager approached and, while much taller, was similarly dressed, She asked me, with a practiced smile, what she could do for me, I told her about the elevator ride that took an e-ter-ni-ty. She said she'd heard nothing about such a case as this, And the fact that I hadn't reported it, to her, seemed quite amiss, “But I had,” I said, “to whom,” she asked, so I told her the Wednesday clerk's name, “Was she working?” She asked the Saturday clerk who was eager to gripe and blame. “I believe she added a note,” I said, “if you'll check your computer there,” She did and said “oh, yes, she has--I think a discount's only fair,” The Saturday clerk was shocked and sorry and apologized profusely to me, I said I wasn't angry, I just wanted a smaller fee. Now, it's true, I could've started by saying a note was on my file,  But the Saturday clerk was oh so huffy, so I thought I'd stretch it out a while, Sometimes it pays to have some patience and not assume you know it all, Because over-committing to laying blame may just set yourself up for a fall. Haha Yowza

Happy Listening begins with being curious and wanting to learn, In letting someone tell their story without distractions, By trying to understand instead of just waiting for your turn, And engaging using non-judgmental reactions.   [full text below]   Ep. 437 - Happy Listening We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Happy Listening begins with being curious and wanting to learn, In letting someone tell their story without distractions, By trying to understand instead of just waiting for your turn, And engaging using non-judgmental reactions. Such as eye contact, words of encouragement and nodding,  And being able to identify and track the points they're making, So, if they need to re-focus you can help with very little prodding, Which shows you're paying attention and aren't faking. This can make them feel valued, seen and heard, And you don't even have to share their point of view, Validating their perspective isn't about agreeing with every word, It's about recognizing why it's important to them not to you. There are countless topics I know very little about, And so you'd think I couldn't carry on a conversation, But I'm eager to let a greater appreciation come out, So I welcome every description, account, and explanation. This is how I was able to be a babysitter for years on end, How I was able to turn many a temp job into a long term guarantee, How I once spent eight hours at an airport making a new friend, And how I can hang with all sorts of people vastly different from me. Haha Yowza

How do you go about understanding you?  While Happy is the balanced growth we each have inside That can help inform all we think and do, It only excels if we let engagement be our guide. [full text below} Ep. 436 - Understanding Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! How do you go about understanding you?  While Happy is the balanced growth we each have inside That can help inform all we think and do, It only excels if we let engagement be our guide. For example, most of us never bother to notice how often we do the same things, Who keeps track of all the little stuff? Who cares? It's nothing but a pointless bore, But if you had to pick a pattern, you might notice the thoughts and feelings it brings, Like, how often are you late for events that you didn't intend to be late for? And once you start tracking such things, you may just find deeper personal insight, Why are you late? Are you always late by the same amount? Do you just hate being early? Do you lose track of time? Do you misjudge? Do you hate schedules and do it out of spite? Is life just one big anxiety and it's a wonder you can get anywhere amidst the hurly-burly? I hate being late and so will give myself extra time so that even with delays I'm still good, Is it to show respect for others? Is it to avoid getting in trouble? Is it to get a head start? I show up early even if no one notices because I can be counted on and I want it understood, My word means something and if I make a plan I will follow through with my whole heart. But sometimes plans go wrong and despite leaving early you sometimes still arrive late, Does this make you mad, sad or couldn't you care less? Do people need to chill, you think? Asking these questions is how you get to know yourself better, what you love, and hate, And once you do that, then maybe you can find a way to keep yourself in sync. What are some other things that you do? Do you take little breaths? Or big bites? Do you fill the air with words? Talk with your hands? Fidget and muddle through? Can you take a deep breath? Savor your food? Be patient? Fight only the good fights? Paying attention to how you are who you are allows you to understand Happy is you. Haha  Yowza

Having a sense of fun and play can help you be pleasant, While still taking things seriously, which can mean a lot in some cases. The three main things to do are to Agree, Encourage and be Present, That way you won't pick a fight, but instead stay in people's good graces.   [full text below]   Ep. 435 - How to be Nice (and Mean it!) We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I've been a waiter, a babysitter, a tutor and a volunteer, I've been a little brother, a confidant, and an event emcee,  I've been an office assistant, a retail clerk, and one thing remains clear, Things go much smoother depending on how Nice you can be. It helps you get along with others and even make friends,  But doesn't always work since some folks are just itching to fight, But even they can sometimes be won over, it really depends On how sincere you are about being Nice, it's gotta feel right. Having a sense of fun and play can help you be pleasant, While still taking things seriously, which can mean a lot in some cases. The three main things to do are to Agree, Encourage and be Present, That way you won't pick a fight, but instead stay in people's good graces. When you Agree, it's not about just saying yes, but finding common ground, It's about accepting people as they are, and being fair and clear in your dealings, This can work on young and old alike, finding ways to connect not to confound, But just be aware that not everyone appreciates such friendly feelings. When you Encourage, you should avoid idle flattery, but instead be specific, So, it helps if you pay attention and be respectful of the goals they hold dear, Then you'll have a better sense of want kind of feedback they'd consider terrific, And you can provide words of hope with genuine feelings of good cheer. And when you're being Present, you're listening, and reading the room,  You're showing an interest in the other person to get them to open up more, You're being mindful, which allows you to adapt quickly--just, like “boom!” Because you're agile, on your toes, ready to switch, jump, take off and soar. I routinely have long conversations with people I just met, on a bus, or a plane, Because I am Present, I find ways to Agree, and offer Encouragement too, You don't have to kiss their butt to say something positive--never praise in vain, But be genuine, you can say you don't get it, and let them explain it to you. It helps if you like people, of course, but sometimes it can still work even so, Even if you have to tell folks bad news--add a reason, and end with something good, Break it to them honestly, tell them why, and provide a spark of hope before they go, Wouldn't you like to connect with someone Nice? I know I sure would. Haha Yowza

Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing, And realizing that it doesn't have to steal away your sense of calm, If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing, Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb. [full text below] Ep. 434 - Happy Insight We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! When something unexpected happens how do you react? Do you explode with anger or do you break down and cry? Whatever was suppressed is what needs to be unpacked, To unlock and release the hidden pain for you to identify. Before I had any comprehension or self-control, I used to raise hell, I once screamed at my boss to get my stuff he'd locked in the store, But he just looked at me and said, “not if you're going to yell,” And then walked away leaving me alone and fuming outside the door. My dad used to yell a lot and there I was doing the same damn thing, It didn't feel good, it didn't feel powerful, it just felt mean and wrong, I tried to blame everyone else, but it was entirely my own downswing I vowed to myself that I would learn how to become quietly strong. Then, years later, I had a boss who liked to yell, and I got my chance, At first, I tried to meet his every need to give him no excuse to get mad, But he still found a way to get upset at some random circumstance, He screamed at me in front of others who ran away when things got bad. So, I went into his office, shut the door and told him he couldn't do that, I didn't so much as raise my voice, I said I didn't care what I had done There was no excuse for that kind of anger and abuse, this wasn't combat, This was office work and whatever it was could be fixed without a hit-and-run. And I stayed there talking to him for forty-five minutes in a very even tone, I asked him if he'd ever tried anger management to learn how to cope, He eventually apologized and I went back to my desk--no longer a war zone, For we had come to an understanding--did he ever yell at me again? Nope. Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing, And realizing that it doesn't have to steal away your sense of calm, If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing, Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb. Haha Yowza  

Happy Naming is about giving yourself an accurate assessment of the way things are, Knowing your limits helps you balance, and knowing your starting point helps you grow, Self-Awareness affords you the capacity to evaluate and understand how you got this far And allows for the clarity of purpose and the vision to know how far you have yet to go.   [full text below]   Ep. 433 - Happy Naming We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I get the draw of softening language to lessen the blow, and yet It runs the risk of diluting the meaning of what you're trying to express, Like saying “I'm experiencing slight feelings of annoyance and upset,” Instead of just saying “I'm mad and it's giving me a lot of stress.” Adding abstractions and euphemisms doesn't always make things better, In some cases it can even create disconnection when you need to recognize That facts aren't that scary, and not every word starts with a scarlet letter, And that hiding from reality makes things worse, burying truth under lies. If you can't even name it, then you certainly can't spot it or face it,  And it'll forever linger to threaten, frighten and worry you to death, An unnamed danger endlessly lurking, defying any attempt to erase it, While an identified feeling or state is as manageable as one's own breath. Then once named, located, defined, and acknowledged it becomes containable, If I'm blue, I don't say “I'm having persistent sorrowful leanings,” I just say “I'm sad,” And once I do, then the path appears and reaching the summit seems attainable, As I get to work helping my heart strengthen and heal until I don't feel quite so bad. And it also keeps me from going overboard the other way into doom speech! When we turn truths into exaggerations, they can get away from us but quick, So that when merely feeling anxious, we instead call ourselves broken and beyond reach, Losing any and all trust in our own ability to handle life and thereby make ourselves sick. Happy Naming is about giving yourself an accurate assessment of the way things are, Knowing your limits helps you balance, and knowing your starting point helps you grow, Self-Awareness affords you the capacity to evaluate and understand how you got this far And allows for the clarity of purpose and the vision to know how far you have yet to go. Haha Yowza  

Sudden anger or sadness can throw you for a loop,  But sudden joy can undo you twice as fast, It can make you think that you're better than the group, And such thoughts have been known not to last. [full text below] Ep. 432 - Glad Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Sudden anger or sadness can throw you for a loop,  But sudden joy can undo you twice as fast, It can make you think that you're better than the group, And such thoughts have been known not to last. When things go wrong we tend to rally our forces,  But when things go right we can get a little wild, It's wise to stay centered and best to hold your horses, ‘Cause overdoing it can make you act like a child. And not in the fun way, but one that makes you seem like a brat, Like a kid who spoils their dinner by eating too much candy, Sure, it tastes good, but it'll also rot your teeth and make you fat, And poor impulse control is not a trait that you want to keep handy. When people say “grow up” they usually mean “stop complaining” As if whining were the only mark of immaturity, But over-celebrating is also not that entertaining, And being smug can make others want to foul you into obscurity. I'm not saying don't be Glad when things are good, we deserve to acknowledge our wins, I'm just saying don't go overboard and make yourself Glad Happy or Stark Raving Glad Because that's arrogant, offensive and mean to others, like an emotional kick in the shins! And they may just retaliate, which may surprise you, turning your good fortune into bad. Haha Yowza    

Mistakes are not the end of the world, I know, Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone, And what cannot, can help us learn and grow, But perfection is impossible for everyone.   [full text below]   Ep. 431 - Happy Fix   We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Mistakes are not the end of the world, I know, Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone, And what cannot, can help us learn and grow, But perfection is impossible for everyone. Though the idea that not everything needs to be Life or Death Isn't something I ever really believed in, If I was going to do something, I would do it until my dying breath, Or else, like, why even begin? But that caused me a lot of stress,  I had to count to ten, and focus on my breathing, In through the nose, out through the mouth, yes, yes, Anything to keep me from furiously seething. But I had the Happy Fix right in front of me, “Don't treat everything like it's the only thing,” (Go ahead and make mistakes--feel free!) I just refused to see what calmness it could bring. I figured that if I didn't do everything all the way,  Then I could be outworked or outlasted, But as a result I was getting stressed every day, And even more stress was being forecasted. Mistakes are not the end of the world, I repeated, Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone, And what cannot, can be honored and well-treated. Either way, perfection is impossible for everyone. Haha Yowza  

Don't bother fearing chaos, but treat it as a call, To seek the deeper order that permeates us all, It's our thoughts and actions that make the meaning clear, And our Happy choices that make Happy Patterns appear. [full text below] Ep. 430 - Happy Patterns We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Maybe chaos is a pattern that you just don't yet know,  Though you mustn't try to force it, just simply let it show All it has to teach you, and all it has to say, And soon you'll see the pattern showing you the way. And don't let your perspective start clouding up your sight,  With your old assumptions insisting that you're right, But, instead, try to just be present, try to just be there,  And maybe then you'll realize and become much more aware. Or what may seem like chaos could be just a piece Of a larger pattern waiting for release From your tunnel vision, from your restricted view, So maybe the confusion is coming just from you. Or chaos is transition, not destruction like you thought, And change becomes uplifting not a battle to be fought, Patterns will emerge if you just give them a chance, Idle words and movements become a song and dance. So, don't bother fearing chaos, but treat it as a call, To seek the deeper order that permeates us all, It's our thoughts and actions that make the meaning clear, And our Happy choices that make Happy Patterns appear. Haha Yowza

Have you ever been intentionally Mean? You know, done something unkind just for fun? Such as taking the last two desserts, so the loudmouth behind you gets none? Why do we revel in the misfortune of those we dismiss? Are we Mean down to the core? Or is it because the world keeps messing with us, and we just want to even the score? [full text below]   Ep. 429 - A Happy Sport We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Have you ever been intentionally Mean? You know, done something unkind just for fun? Such as taking the last two desserts, so the loudmouth behind you gets none? Why do we revel in the misfortune of those we dismiss? Are we Mean down to the core? Or is it because the world keeps messing with us, and we just want to even the score? But does it really even it out, or have we, instead, just picked a new fight? Where our targets target us in return just when we thought we were right, And the whole thing becomes a battle of one-upmanship, trading same for same, Only instead of a Happy Sport, we're all just playing a losing game. It may feel like winning and even glory, but maniacal glee is not joy, it's hate,  And there are better ways to play that don't include such a self-destructive fate. Respect your fellow players--they dislike losing too. Shake hands and play fair. Cooperate or compete as you see fit, but never act like you don't care. Life is meant to be lived, and it's much more fun when we do it as a team, For who knows what happens when it ends, so play nice and share the dream. Haha Yowza

Your sense of reality is influenced by how you view and interact with the world, Your frame of reference is impacted by how you feel and what you believe, When you lose it's a tragedy, while winning deserves a parade with banners unfurled, Happy Perception starts with seeing Balanced Growth as built-in, not something to achieve.   [full text below] Ep. 428 - Happy Perception We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Your sense of reality is influenced by how you view and interact with the world, Your frame of reference is impacted by how you feel and what you believe, When you lose it's a tragedy, while winning deserves a parade with banners unfurled, Happy Perception starts with seeing Balanced Growth as built-in, not something to achieve. Balance is there equalizing contrasts and managing every extreme, While Growth is about realizing better ways than were previously known, Seeing others as being on the same journey helps you look past how things may seem, Allowing you to consider points of view that may be different from your own. Being mindful and paying close attention is a great way to deepen your connections, Connections with others, with your senses, and with the world at large, Do you mindlessly wolf down your food? Is your focus split in all directions? Or are you able to be present, intentional and mindfully in charge? In charge of your actions, thoughts and, yes, even your moods? How do you see yourself? Do you ever spare yourself time to check-in and take stock? To be aware of your triggers, your prejudices and attitudes? Or do you just try to keep the world from knocking off your block? Happy Perception can also be about changing your point of view to take a closer look, To allow yourself to lean in and let your understanding of the world increase, Rewarding you with deeper appreciation for the second glance you finally took, And granting you greater ways to express gratitude and find peace. Haha Yowza  

If you want a good trick for when things get hairy, It's perspective you want--to give yourself some breathing room, It may not turn a rage monster into someone merry,  But naming your mood and counting to ten can possibly stave off doom.   [full text below] Ep. 427 - Perspective Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! If you want a good trick for when things get hairy, It's perspective you want--to give yourself some breathing room, It may not turn a rage monster into someone merry,  But naming your mood and counting to ten can possibly stave off doom. How do you name your mood? It's easy. If you feel mad, you say “I'm mad,” And what does that do? It moves it from the Stress part of your brain To the Reason part, and that can give you more perspective than you had, Which can give you some distance, some calm and relieve some of the strain. Your actions, environment and imagination are more powerful than you may think, Your emotions are the weaker voices, which is why they may sometimes scream Just to get your goat, but if you count, name, and imagine that you're in the pink, Then you might be able to regain control and let the pain pass like a bad dream. But what if it's already too late for counting and naming? What if you're already too far gone in a bad mood for that to work? Well, intense emotions have a very short shelf-life, if you can avoid blaming, And just let them run their course without going a tad berserk. You see, it's the stories we attach to those feelings that give them their staying power,  You might get a sudden surge of anger when someone cuts you off at the pass, But it's the narrative you invent about how they've had it in for you for the past hour That turns that fleeting feeling into a full-blown war and makes you step on the gas! And it's not just with anger--it's with any extreme mood, but only if you take the bait, Your Stress Brain would love nothing better than to be fed loads of angsty, panicky fuel Just so's it can steer you right into a spiral of bitter sadness and/or violent hate, But if you're Perspective Happy, then you'll know the tricks, and be able to keep your cool. Haha Yowza  

Look for things to like about people--there's usually something, some trait, Some aspect of them as people existing in this world that you can't disallow, Something that resonates, that connects and has the power to create! Create what? Understanding at the very least if not friendship right now. [full text below] Ep. 426 - Like Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I'm helpful, empathic, a real caretaker type--want to know why? Want to know how? I look for things to like about people--there's usually something, some trait, Some aspect of them as people existing in this world that you can't disallow, It's something that resonates, that connects and has the power to create. Create what? A friendship!--a camaraderie. Now I've met people who seemed just awful, Like, why-would-you-want-to-subject-yourself-to-their-abuse kind of bad news, They're hurtful and mean and seem to really enjoy being cruel and slightly unlawful, But they can also be really loyal to those whose company they choose. I met a guy at work once who everybody hated--he was bossy but had no authority, He didn't outrank anyone, he just acted as if he did--so was routinely ignored, And the distaste for him wasn't just from a few but from the vast majority, And so my challenge was to try to find some Happy detail just waiting to be explored. He tried bossing me around too, but I simply kept talking to him instead, I'd talk about TV shows and movies and stuff and he'd stop and look at me weird, Then he'd ask me what I was doing, and I'd say that he seemed to be very well-read, And that I always appreciated intelligent conversation--at which he scoffed and sneered. But still I kept talking to him about topics I enjoyed, like books, food and music too, Then I suggested we go to a movie and get something to eat and he looked worried, “I'm not trying to hit on you,” I assured him. “A good movie discussion, me and you.” And so we went! And outside of work he was way more chill and completely unhurried. We became friends and he mellowed at work too. People didn't hate him quite so much. He had a lot of knowledge about film and could be very generous with what he knew, But he was also embarrassed about his inexperience in the social scene and such, So, I invited him to parties and get-togethers, but he simply didn't know what to do. He rubbed people the wrong way due to his extremely awkward and arrogant vibe, So, I didn't try to force him to make friends with everybody and I let him just be, And we were like brothers for years, he was a cameraman and I was a scribe, We swore we'd make movies together that the whole world would be dying to see. And then there came a girl that I liked and I told him about her, wanting to share, But, you see, he decided that he liked her too and felt he was far more deserving than me, So, when I told him how my courtship was going he pretended like he didn't care, When all the while he was plotting to steal her heart away as if by divine decree. And he used all the inside scoop that I had been feeding him to turn her head, He knew everything she liked, but what he didn't know was what she hated, And chief among those things was liars and so she felt sorely misled, She pulled away and he tried to cling, but her feelings had long since vacated. He didn't like her, you see. He merely wanted her, and that's not the same thing, You have to find something to relate to about someone even something small, But he never allowed himself to feel for others. He hurt her and me--a real ding-a-ling, I avoid him now--for safety--but I did like our discussions before he went AWOL. I'm a bit more careful about who I try to find likable things about, but I still try, Finding a friend where no one else bothered looking can be its own reward, Sometimes I even turn those powers upon myself if I think I'm being a mean guy, And could maybe use a friend, someone like Happy, just waiting to be adored. I like finding things about people to like, it makes life more interesting, more fun, It doesn't always go great, but that's life for you, it's something to do, until we're done. Haha Yowza

I'm what you might call Consent Happy and I'm in no way being sarcastic, I CRAVE consent, in fact--for all manner of interactions and activities,  Consent is Informed, Conscious, Revocable, Affirmative, Voluntary and Enthusiastic,  The first letters of which spell out “I CRAVE”--thus satisfying my poetic sensitivities.   [full text below] Ep. 425 - Consent Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I'm what you might call Consent Happy and I'm in no way being sarcastic, I CRAVE consent, in fact--for all manner of interactions and activities,  Consent is Informed, Conscious, Revocable, Affirmative, Voluntary and Enthusiastic,  The first letters of which spell out “I CRAVE”--thus satisfying my poetic sensitivities. Consent must be Informed or else you won't know what you're agreeing to, And Conscious, since you can't agree if you're all passed out with nowhere to go, And Revocable, meaning you can take it back if that's what you want to do, And Affirmative, meaning it's a clear decision and not just the absence of the word No. Consent must also be Voluntary, and not the result of some pressure or threat, And it must be Enthusiastic, meaning it is clearly, positively and actively stated, And I CRAVE Consent because this world doesn't seem to have gotten that memo yet, This means I think people should ask before they so much as hug--even if you're related. Maybe someone's suddenly shy, or has back pain or just feels icky inside, Consent is just a good habit to get into as it gives people a choice, And it also means that people who do the asking have to be okay with being denied, ‘Cause it defeats the whole purpose if nobody listens to your voice. And the right of Consent is not just for some people, but for everyone, Regardless of gender, age, culture, relationship or any previous consent, Just ‘cause you hugged somebody once doesn't mean consent is over and done-- Reestablish it each and every time in case something changed in preference or intent. Now I know this must seem like overkill to some folks ‘cause who's going to bother? Like, what kid is really going to ask for consent to hug or kiss his mother or father? And I get that, which is why I say it's something I CRAVE, since I know it's in short supply, And I can't even claim that I always insist that others comply. Sometimes it's tough to stop someone before they grab you, And saying something then might be seen as unfriendly and a bit cuckoo, But I still prefer consent, regardless, and I want to normalize it, So let it just be a reminder that we all should decide what we're willing to permit. Haha Yowza

Happy Trying means you see everything as an opportunity to grow and explore, To find value in the journey instead of just spoiling the ending from the start, Sometimes you'll fall, but don't let that stop you from what you were climbing for. [full text below] Ep. 424 - Happy Trying We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Happy Trying means you see everything as an opportunity to grow and explore, To find value in the journey instead of just spoiling the ending from the start, Sometimes you'll fall, but don't let that stop you from what you were climbing for. It's true that even the best plans, which take a long time to develop, can still fall apart, But it doesn't mean never plan again, if anything it means you should plan more-- Have several backups, so that stumbles merely break your stride and not your heart. Happy Trying is getting absorbed in the process rather than in the treasure you hope to find, It's where mindfulness reaches its peak, and every gesture is made with intention, Where you aren't just doing some chore, you're connecting spirit, body and mind. It's about getting into the flow state, where mundane movements gain a new dimension, Where previously disjointed and scattered efforts suddenly become aligned, And an action you've taken a thousand times before seems like a new invention. If you don't pay attention, then even doing something for the first time can be boring, But if you can lock in and attain total focus, then balance and growth become self-starting, And old routines that have gotten tired finally become aspects of life worth exploring. Haha Yowza

Do your best to communicate with people in ways they prefer, To match their comfort levels, so connection and understanding can build, Our shared humanity taking us where we could go from where we were, Allowing us to be Communication Happy, which can help keep us fulfilled. [full text below]   We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! People like to understand people, and to be understood in return, This is why I like those who talk plainly, and keep their points short, Who teach using simple lessons that are easy to learn, With diagrams and illustrations for aid and support. They could use big words, sure--they could get fancy, and all that, But then who would they have left to talk to and what would they gain? Why try to dress up their meaning in a fancy coat and hat, When they can include more people without needing to explain?    I, myself, like to write because it gives me time to compose my thoughts, But some folks prefer to talk, so I can do that too, of course, Other folks like to visit and gather in numbers at all the hot spots, But that can make me feel less heard, so it's not something I tend to endorse. Misunderstandings can cause trouble and confusion,  You can wind up fighting with people with whom you actually agree, So, when someone speaks, listen--don't just jump to a conclusion,  Let them know you heard, then let them hear you, so you both can see. I do my best to communicate with people in ways they prefer, To match their comfort levels, so connection and understanding can build, Our shared humanity taking us where we could go from where we were, Allowing us to be Communication Happy, which can help keep us fulfilled. Haha Yowza

Temper your passion with wisdom, your frenzy with good sense,  Aim for Balance and Growth in your pursuits so you don't panic,  Or turn what once seemed fun into something far too intense,  But can develop naturally in a way that's healthy, sustainable and organic.   [full text below]   Ep. 422 - Love Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I used to be in love with Love,  A state I was rather fond of, But Love can be a tricky thing, So, play it cool, and never cling. I was conditioned, you see,  Into thinking that persistence and grand gestures were key, That passionate, imaginative pitching of woo  Was all a suitor had to do! Alas, alack and mercy be,  I finally learned that ain't for me. The tragedy is not that you'll lose a Love you could've had, But, much worse--that you'll win the heart of someone bad, Because the promise of Love can cloud every thought, So that you realize too late what such folly has brought.  I used to chase after dates and show my affection with poems and gifts,  Without ever getting to know them first, through connection or trust,  I also used to love finding a new hobby, who doesn't love one that temporarily uplifts? But if it had no real staying power or substance it would wind up a bust. New things can be exciting, all mysterious and attractive and stuff, But if there's no compatibility, then it's doomed to breed discontent, Because no matter how much you try to force it, it'll never be enough, That's why when it comes to Love, you'd do well to start with mature intent. Is how you're behaving something you plan to sustain? Or is it just a big show that will be over far too soon? Then what will you do when pleasure turns to pain? Can you get over yourself after being over the moon? Love Happy means to temper your passion with wisdom, your frenzy with good sense,  To aim for Balance and Growth in your all interests and pursuits so you don't panic, Or get so carried away that what at first seemed fun becomes too intense, But can develop naturally in a way that is healthy, sustainable and organic. Haha Yowza  

If we base our sense of self on what others demand of us, and try to conform to that, Then we won't know who we are, how we feel, what we think--and that's never any good, But if you make mindful choices of who you see yourself as, then you won't be a doormat, You'll become the person you always wished you could be, but never thought you could.   [full text below] Ep. 421 - Happy Identity  We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Happy Identity means being true to yourself, knowing who you are and who you want to be. And then becoming that Happy version of you. I used to sign my name in cursive letters, I hated it, but what could I do? Well, anything. So, I stopped. And it instantly felt more like me, And nobody cared, and here I thought I'd face the same backlash that meets all trendsetters. So, then I started to look at all the other things I did just because I thought I had to-- I stopped eating foods I never really cared for, and cut out friends I could never please, I even changed the way I coughed--you didn't know you had control over that, but you do, I used to cough in sharp, violent bursts, and then I switched it to a painless wheeze. It might sound weird, but I also stopped caring so much about what other people thought, They didn't have to live my life, that was mine and mine alone, and I just had to do my best, I could read what I liked, and watch what I liked, and think what I liked, believe it or not, I could sleep on my side, I could sneeze loud or soft, I could pick up and move West. And so I did. I moved thousands of miles away from anyone I knew to find my tribe, Artists and filmmakers and free thinkers and rebels and people looking for connection, And I found them--buried amongst monsters too strange to convincingly describe, But we all have the potential to become monstrous if we don't fight the identity infection. If we base our sense of self on what others demand of us, and try to conform to that, Then we won't know who we are, how we feel, what we think--and that's never any good, But if you make mindful choices of who you see yourself as, then you won't be a doormat, You'll become the person you always wished you could be, but never thought you could. Haha Yowza  

Happy Responsibility means having integrity and being self-aware, About being trustworthy, thoughtful, reliable, even-tempered and wise, Being resilient, ethical, and able to communicate how much you care, About being considerate, strong, mature, and being able to empathize.   [full text below] Ep. 420 - Happy Responsibility We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Do you let things happen to you or do you take ownership of your life, good or bad? Are you accountable for your choices and actions or do you let others be blamed? Like, if you gave someone bad advice would you apologize or even be sad? Or if you took bad advice would you make the one who gave it to you feel ashamed? Happy Responsibility means having integrity and being self-aware, About being trustworthy, thoughtful, reliable, even-tempered and wise, Being resilient, ethical, and able to communicate how much you care, About being considerate, strong, mature, and being able to empathize. If you spend all your time trying to grab what you can, and never sharing,  Then you'll become someone greedy, which is how others will see you too, But if you can look beyond yourself and simply notice how others are faring, Then you'll start to develop a sense that they have full lives just like you. Being responsible isn't just about yourself, but contributing to humanity at large, Empowering others, teaching, helping, and being a good steward of the general trust, If you only look out for yourself, it isolates you--making you desperate to be in charge, But by creating inclusive communities you build connections that are not only good but just. Haha Yowza  

Suffering comes from resisting pain, refusing to accept it, thinking it will go away,  But that just makes it worse and leaves you completely unprepared and weak, You'll lose all your defenses and will further crumble when life refuses to obey, But if you can learn to accept the crashing waves, you'll find the strength you seek.   [full text below]   Ep. 419 - Happy Acceptance We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Acceptance isn't the same as giving up,  Just ‘cause life has pain doesn't mean you quit, Use that pain to temper your steel,  Toughen you up and let you heal,  ‘Cause acceptance isn't the same as giving up. Ever feel drained, bruised, battered, mistreated, abused and taken advantage of? Well, you're not alone, but you survived it, and perhaps you're surviving it still, And you don't know why life is being so mean when all you ever wanted was love, So, you fight ‘cause you think to win you need to be the one with the strongest will. But if you see everything as a conflict, then every interaction becomes a war, Every setback is a battle cry, every mishap a landmine, and everyone a foe, But if you can accept that we're all just trying to survive lives we never signed up for, Then acceptance becomes an act of strength--don't give up, just go with the flow. Suffering comes from resisting pain, refusing to accept it, thinking it will go away,  But that just makes it worse and leaves you completely unprepared and weak, You'll lose all your defenses and will further crumble when life refuses to obey, But if you can learn to accept the crashing waves, you'll find the strength you seek. Because Acceptance isn't the same as giving up,  Just ‘cause life has pain doesn't mean you quit, Use that pain to temper your steel,  Toughen you up and let you heal,  ‘Cause acceptance isn't the same as giving up. I don't know why I just turned into a country singer, I confess, But it's just another thing you gotta learn to accept, I guess. Haha Yowza

Happy Discomfort is realizing it's okay to feel a little uneasy if it helps overall,  Like how you “feel the burn” when you exercise and know you're getting stronger, Discomfort can lead to making changes for the better, and the steps can be small, Don't avoid your emotions, practice and tame them, and they'll be wild no longer. [full text below] Ep. 418 - Happy Discomfort We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! It's the natural tendency for most people, I think, to avoid discomfort--I'm the same way, Like, if I have a memory that bothers me, or a topic that triggers me, then I want to run, I want to avoid such things, deny them, and bury them, so I can get on with my day, But the whole sweeping-things-under-the-rug method of mental health helps no one. It's a great way to make sure those issues fester and become toxic, ready to explode, When you could, instead, chip away at their power until they can be controlled, Working to, if not stopping their effects, making them something that can be slowed, And from there being able to even raise your tolerance, you're discomfort threshold. Happy Discomfort is realizing that it's okay to feel a little discomfort if it helps overall,  Like when you “feel the burn” when you exercise, then you know you're getting stronger, Discomfort can lead to making a change to something better, and the steps can be small, Like how I used to be afraid of my own emotions, they were too wild, but not any longer. As I teen I was violent, destructive, loud, reckless, prone to injury and getting in trouble, I hated being sad and lonely and told what to do and put down and I'd fight you about it, And as a result I alienated people, tearing down relationships until they were rubble, Never dealing with my emotions or facing my role in anything, and still refusing to quit. It took me losing my fiancee, totalling my car, going into debt, and getting in trouble at work Before I finally decided I should maybe try a different approach before I dug my own grave, And that was this podcast, reminders to myself to stop fighting every little thing like a jerk, And to learn how to use my emotions, and not to let discomfort keep me from being brave. Listening to these episodes can help you build up your mindfulness and gratitude,  It can remind you to seek balance and growth, to become familiar with your feelings, And no, you don't have to turn soft--if anything the idea is to strengthen your attitude,  To gain control and empower yourself to handle all your present and future dealings. Haha Yowza

We can get stuck into habits, our movements get restricted, Our quick fixes become crutches, making us addicted. When really it's connection we need, not escape, not solitude, But people to relate to, mind to mind and mood to mood.   [full text below]   Ep. 417 - Happy Tools We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Don't fight your moods, they aren't monstrous ghouls, They aren't traps or weapons either, they're just tools. Moods are your instruments, your dials, and your gauges,  Helping you navigate all your mortal human stages. We can get stuck into habits, our movements get restricted, Our quick fixes become crutches, making us addicted. When really it's connection we need, not escape, not solitude, But people to relate to, mind to mind and mood to mood. We're social creatures, and so we long for meaningful relationships with others, That's why we form groups and clubs, treating our friends like sisters and brothers. And when those connections fail, it can feel like a terrible and tragic loss, Making us want to dull any and all pain we happen to come across. And for a moment we feel better, because we released some of the pressure,  But then it comes right back all the stronger with a pain that only gets fresher, And then we use that same crutch again, that last resort fix that becomes a vice, But we need more each time just to feel less than normal and not even halfway nice. It makes you not want to be alone with your thoughts, because thinking turns to worry, But that's because you avoid your own moods, always trying to shut them off in a hurry, If instead you would change your approach, and stop thinking of them as things to avoid, You'd see that for living a fuller life, they are the best tools that could ever be employed. Happy Tools are those that make our lives easier to handle, not harder or more demanding,  Moods let us cope with hardships freeing up our horizons to be ever expanding, They're meant to be tested, honed, practiced and drilled, skills to be improved upon, Not things to be shunned, resented, silenced, hidden, disregarded or wished to be gone. Laugh, cry, scream, frown, smile, just a little bit every day, If you fight or suppress your moods, then their power will decay, But if you get familiar with them, little by little, and bit by bit,  Then you'll have greater control, and life will be a better fit. Haha Yowza    

Happy Learning is about finding the simplicity of a subject so it's not something you hate, This starts with first breaking it down to its most basic forms, it's okay to start slow, Don't get hung up on having to be complex, if you understand the basics, you're doing great, And then it might click for you and you'll want to keep at it and see where it, and you, can go. [full text below] Ep. 416 - Happy Learning We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I like to learn new things and then share the things I've learned,  Sometimes I share those things with myself in case I forget, So it has to make sense to me first, as far as I'm concerned, But if I get it well enough to teach myself, then it's no sweat. When I was a kid, I didn't really pick things up very quick, I figured I must be slow and so I readjusted my life to match, But then when I got to my late teens things started to click, I finally could take subjects I liked and so I rebuilt myself from scratch. But even after I actually got into college and made the lofty Honor Roll, I still never lost the feeling of all those years when I thought I was dumb, So I took my time to make sure I understood things completely, as a whole, And once I did I could then convert them into simple rules of thumb. No matter how complex the subject, if I could take my time, I could break it down, And if I could do that, I could fully understand it backwards and forwards, inside and out, Whether it was physics, poetry, computer science--you name it! I could go to town! And then I could teach it to others, if it was something they cared to learn about. Like, for some classes, we had to read stories from hundreds of years ago,  I'm talking like four-hundred, six-hundred, even a thousand years ago or more! And if you think your parents talk weird compared to you--you don't even know! It's like learning a foreign language and it took me forever--talk about a chore! But once I read all the footnotes and the study guides and it finally made sense,  Then I realized why people still liked those stories--they're good, and funny, and deep, So, I went to class excited to delve into them, expecting the debates to get intense, But instead, nobody said a word! All my work was for nothing! It made me want to weep! But rather than waste my time in dull classrooms, I decided to share what I'd read, So, I told my classmates that I'd tell them the plots of the reading, so class could be fun, So, they sat on the carpet in the lobby outside the library, and listened to everything I said, I told them tales of adventure, scary dreams, lasting love, and everything else under the sun. They sat cross-legged, their chins resting on their fists, all shining eyes and smiling faces, And then, the next time we had class, they all chimed in, and the teacher was delighted, It made for an engaging discussion, everyone was animated and we were off to the races, Because they were informed, and in a simple way, so they could get it, and be excited. Did I dumb it down for them? I think I just made it clear, really, and it made it fun for me too, Like, if you have to learn a dead language just to read the homework--who's going to do that? And for most of them this wasn't even their major, so really not something they were going to do, Which meant I would've been doomed to painfully silent classes that fell completely flat. So, what's the lesson here? What am I reminding myself about, and for what? Is it that you're smarter than you think you are? That education can be fun? Am I revealing my outlook on life, that you can go with your head, and go with your gut? You know, probably a little of all of those things because who's just one thing? No one. Like me, I like to read now, but sometimes I get lazy and would rather watch TV, I like to write, to research, to discuss, but I also like games and a really good nap, You can bring creativity and play into your study subjects, you can let them be free, Education doesn't have to be painful, because then you'll dread it and that's the trap. I've studied all sorts of subjects across every discipline of science, philosophy and art, And I've always tried to bring some playfulness to it, and teachers have responded well, This is their life's work, after all, their calling, their passion, they love it with all their heart, And the way you catch a glimpse of that is by simplifying, and turning it into a show-and-tell. Happy Learning is about finding the simplicity of a subject so it's not something you hate, This starts with first breaking it down to its most basic forms, it's okay to start slow, Don't get hung up on having to be complex, if you understand the basics, you're doing great, And then it might click for you and you'll want to keep at it and see where it, and you, can go. Haha Yowza  

Happy Flow is choosing to go in the direction of Balanced Growth, Not to paddle upstream or let your mind wander and your thoughts scatter, But to fully immerse yourself in the activity, in the form and the content both, So that you can focus, attend, and fully apply yourself to the current matter. [full text below] Ep. 415 - Happy Flow We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Some things hurt more the more you fight them, while other things may simply break, If you've ever had a sudden dread about what might happen, like a health scare, Then you know the fear it can instill within you and all the stress it can make As you try not to think about it, you try to carry on, even while the panic is still there. But fighting your possible future can destroy your actual present and leave you wanting, Unable to cope with the business of living because of something that may not come to pass, Robbing you of vitality, hope and good cheer, turning your dreams into something haunting, Where every effort is painful, every decision dire, and every doubt is just there to harass. Happy Flow is choosing to go in the direction of Balanced Growth, Not to paddle upstream or let your mind wander and your thoughts scatter, But to fully immerse yourself in the activity, in the form and the content both, So that you can focus, attend, and fully apply yourself to the current matter. This allows your efforts to work in unison, and not be fragmented, wasted, or lost, You become absorbed and carried along, your attention becomes effortless and controlled, You're able to keep going without self-consciousness and with very little mental cost, Because your actions and intentions are aligned making the process a thing to behold. Haha  Yowza    

Emotional Inertia is the tendency for moods to stay as they are,  Whether they're an iceberg or a shooting star,  Learning control can improve our skill,  So we don't go wild our lose our will.   [full text below]   Ep. 414 - Happy Emotia We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Emotia is a word I made by combining the words Emotion and Inertia into one, Emotion is Feelings, and Inertia is the tendency for things to stay as they are, So, like, a car may be hard to move, or hard to stop because it weighs a ton, Just like a heavy mood may be the same way because of how much we care. If you're having a meltdown and someone tells you to chill--your mood might not change, Though granted, it's not quite the same as trying to stop a speeding car, of course, Emotia is just a way of saying that moods have momentum both short- and long-range, Like, a heavy mood is harder to lighten up because it just seems to have more force. Then, once you see moods as having weight, practicing them becomes exercise, And just like you wouldn't enter an athletic competition without training first, You need to practice agility, strength and control over your emotions to maximize Your ability to be able to handle whatever life throws your way from best to worst. This is why you may find it tough to “snap out of it,” when things begin to confound, Or why it may take a minute to get “in the mood,” whatever mood that may happen to be, And this can apply to phobias as well--if you're afraid of dogs, then don't visit the pound, And if every attempt to kick a bad habit fails, it may take a gradual approach to break free. Happy Emotia is having a good handle on your moods, good craft, good skill, You don't try to rush them or run them too hot from a cold start if you can help it, You do your warm ups and cool downs so you don't pull something or make yourself ill, And you make sure you get in some good mood drills every day to stay ready and fit. And that could just involve thinking about a mood like Sadness or Hope, And then maybe moving on to Anger, Joy, Guilt and Fear,  Watch a movie, listen to a song, write out your feelings in order to cope, Learning to get comfortable with emotions prepares you for the next time they appear. Haha Yowza  

Happy Loss is understanding that the things we care about are precious to us Precisely because they have a shelf life, and a temporary lifespan, People, pets, and potential don't last forever, which is why we make such a fuss, And should appreciate and connect with them now, and for as long as we can. [full text below] Ep. 413 - Happy Loss We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Sometimes you lose things--your keys, your socks, the remote, or maybe even your way,  And it can be quite heart-breaking because suddenly life stops making sense, Now, I'm not suggesting you should be glad to lose the things you had hoped would stay, But neither should you let it derail you or make you think it's a deliberate occurrence. I was eight before I first started to doubt that things would always work out for me, Which really hurt because when I was seven I was so sure I was the chosen one, I'd been so cute and popular that people used to fight over whose best friend I'd be, But as my cuteness faded so too did my popularity and with it all my hope, joy and fun. I turned bitter, angry and fearful, I broke things, I burned things, and I learned how to hate, I got bullied by what seemed to be everyone, some actively, some passively, But as they all contributed to my maddening isolation, I couldn't really differentiate, And so I cursed them all, some just slightly, others quite massively. Why had I lost everything? I howled. Just when things had been going so well, too? If I hadn't been so popular to begin with, then the fall wouldn't have been quite so tragic, But I became a widespread subject of scorn and ridicule and there was nothing I could do Except vow revenge on all those who I blamed for taking away my good luck and magic. But when things end, finding perspective may be the only thing to save you from despair, I had to tell myself that at least I wasn't dead or imprisoned, I was merely mistreated, The world had abandoned me and so I turned my back on it--which is only fair,  And I started rebuilding my life in spite of my losses--for I'm not one to be defeated. It got worse before it got better, but the time I took learning about myself was time well spent, Often we go through life not really testing or pushing ourselves and I was basically asleep, It took losing my illusions to make me realize that I should never be idle or overly content, Because time is too valuable to waste being lazy or shallow, and never digging too deep. Part of being human is dealing with loss, it's just how it sometimes goes, Relationships end, loved ones pass away, good fortune turns bad, and dreams disappear, But to go insane, to cut yourself off from living, or to stop caring is not what I'd propose,  For it's the very fact that things only last for a limited time that makes them feel so dear. Happy Loss is understanding that the things we care about are precious to us Precisely because they have a shelf life, and a temporary lifespan, People, pets, and potential don't last forever, which is why we make such a fuss, And should appreciate and connect with them now, and for as long as we can. Haha Yowza

Happy Self-Confidence is about accepting yourself as you are, About owning the moment, and trusting that you can succeed, Even if that moment is you apologizing, you do it like a star, You don't second-guess or shy away, you just confidently proceed. [full text below] Ep. 412 - Happy Self-Confidence We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Happy Self-Confidence is about accepting yourself as you are, About owning the moment, and trusting that you can succeed, Even if that moment is you apologizing, you do it like a star, You don't second-guess or shy away, you just confidently proceed. You face the music, take responsibility, and do what needs to be done, You don't wish for a different past, you just work towards a better day, You don't cower, complain, act cocky or deflect blame onto anyone, You just try to improve yourself to be a little bit better in every way. A tall order, to be sure, but I've seen people who simply refuse to even try, They prefer to deny reality, to avoid growth, to have a temper tantrum, to hide, Wishing things were different while doing the same things and wondering why-- Why they doubt themselves and have no trust or individual faith deep inside. The first step is getting to know your limits, learning what frightens you, Maybe being wrong makes you so mad that it keeps you from striving, Which means those are the things you have to practice and work through, If you ever hope to go from struggling and hating to learning and thriving. Haha  Yowza

If you know the old saying about Luck being Opportunity meeting Preparation,  And then go looking for opportunities first, you may be focusing on the wrong side,  For it's the preparation that reveals the opportunities, and causes their activation Of all the luck you couldn't see before because you hadn't yet hit your stride.   [full text below]   Ep. 411 - Happy Preparation We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! If you know the old saying about Luck being Opportunity meeting Preparation,  And then go looking for opportunities first, you may be focusing on the wrong side,  For it's the preparation that reveals the opportunities, and causes their activation Of all the luck you couldn't see before because you hadn't yet hit your stride. One thing you can do to prepare is build your emotional intelligence--your mood intellect, Like, when things get stressful--How do you react? Do you rage, cry, and complain? Or are you able to take a breath, stay calm, reevaluate, and then redirect Your efforts and intentions, so you can find a way through instead of focusing on the pain. I get frustrated. I get mad. I sometimes want to slap a fool for being so unkind,  but that just adds more Meanness to the world, and I prefer to keep things Nice-- I acknowledge it to myself, and then dismiss it from my mind, --Resist worrying about anything not worth the mental sacrifice. And if you find it hard to tap into your inner feelings, then look at it another way-- Don't think of it as being weird or soft, but instead as a way to build your agility. If you can keep your emotions from scaring or controlling you, then you won't fall prey, And will, instead, be able to regulate your own moods with artful ability. When you get upset at someone and they don't take it seriously--doesn't that make you mad? You wonder why you can't affect their mood, and that they must be very tranquil and wise,  To be self-regulated like that, deciding when they want to be mad, sad or even glad, --The more familiar you are with your own moods, the easier it is to spot their compelling lies. They tell you that the madder you get, the more triumphant the release of righteous indignation,  The sadder you get, the deeper the connection you'll have with yourself and humanity, The gladder you get, the more power you can tap into for higher levels of operation, But sometimes you just feel bothered, down, or manic trying to maintain your sanity. If you keep letting the world determine your extremes, then you might not return,  That's why you need to practice control of your emotions for every situation, Opportunities for Balance and Growth will reveal themselves as you learn, Boosting confidence, and that all begins with Happy Preparation. Haha  Yowza  

The Meanness Test Helps you gauge your threshold for emotional unrest. What would it take for you to turn Mean? How far must you be pushed to fully vent your spleen?   [entire text below]   Ep. 410 - The Meanness Test We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Would you like to take the Meanness Test? It can help you gauge your threshold for emotional unrest. You just ask yourself what it would take for you to turn Mean? How far must you be pushed to fully vent your spleen? With some people, all it takes is a Monday morning, With others, someone would have to burn their house down, What's it for you? What can cause you to rage out with little to no warning? And make your inner vengeance monster escape, and go to town? Let's test it, shall we? Not for real, but just to see. Let's say you drive up to a four-way stop and it's just you and one other car, You got there first, so you have the right of way, but they take it away from you. Do you lean on the horn? Do you race after them and tailgate or follow from afar? Do you internalize their actions and let them decide what you do? Or, let's try this--you get to work early in order to get a jump on the day, And someone chooses that moment to grind their coffee beans nearby, The sound is so loud it sends all your thoughts into wild disarray, So, do you start plotting their downfall, or just shrug your shoulders, smile and sigh? Or how ‘bout this one? You're pulling into a parking space, but you're off center,  So, you back up a tad to re-do it and get blasted by someone leaning on their car horn! You get out and come face to face with some abusive, screaming tormentor, Do you listen quietly or do you wish someone would've kept him from ever being born?  Still feeling good? Or are you starting to crack? Do you regret agreeing to this test? And wish you could take it back? Hey, you can stop at any time, but you'll miss the lesson if you do, Because I am only citing examples that happened to me, in order to help you. Here's the capper. You come back early from your lunch break and are met by your boss, He proceeds to berate you at the top of his lungs about something he blames you for, And the kicker is, you didn't even do it, so it leaves you at an utter and absolute loss, So, do you fire back? Do you read him the riot act and bang his fat head against the door? You want to know what I did? I did not act Mean--heaven forbid! Sure, I felt the unease, But this is about Happy, so, please! With the stop sign runner, I laughed and said “go get it, son!” With the coffee bean grinder, I filmed myself reacting to all that fun! With the parking lot yeller, I wrote down his license plate while I smiled, And with that toxic boss, I talked to him calmly for an hour until he was no longer riled. Having a sense of humor and the heart of a storyteller keeps me focused on the tale, ‘Cause it's only when I take things too seriously that I start to crumble and fail. I've laughed off punches, and insults, and bullies galore, I've even helped others find the funny where they couldn't before. That's my secret, that's my trick, when someone makes me mad, I make a joke, It helps me release all the fury before I suffer a Meanness stroke. I want to stay Nice and I want to stay calm, it's how I want to be, and what I want to do, And why I drew a cartoon of someone being pushed off a cliff with the words “Okay, fine. Now I forgive you.” Haha Yowza

Being able to understand opposing viewpoints isn't a weakness, it's a strength,  Challenging our assumptions can help us enhance our critical thinking, Boosting innovation and sparking creativity on a whole new wavelength, Allowing us to face the future bravely, well-equipped and unblinking. [full text below] Ep. 409 - Happy Understanding We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! We're all part of the same species, all human beings here on Earth The things that are true of any one of us, are also true of the rest, We all live in the brief mortal span between death and birth,  We all laugh, cry, eat, sleep, drink, relax and occasionally get stressed. We can understand each other just by virtue of being part of the same Human Race, We know the extremes of our own lives and can imagine the same in another's, Perhaps differing in intensity, frequency, quality, type, context or pace, But we feel, think, live and love along the same lines as our sisters and our brothers. And understanding this fact is the first step towards appreciation and respect, We may not always agree, or even always get along, but we can still connect, Our approaches may differ, but our goals are things we all hate to neglect, And our failures are what we learn from despite being the things we'd like to reject. We can cultivate our imaginations, and practice empathy, and compassion, As long as we don't discount others for not being part of the home team, For they may still have things to teach us, as wisdom is never out of fashion, And sharing different perspectives on humanity is easier than it may seem. Being able to understand opposing viewpoints isn't a weakness, it's a strength,  Challenging our assumptions can help us enhance our critical thinking, Boosting innovation and sparking creativity on a whole new wavelength, Allowing us to face the future bravely, well-equipped and unblinking. Haha Yowza

Handling your moods is your right, you can make them obey,  For that is The Inherently Happy Way. [full text below] Ep. 408 - Mood Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Why are we all saddled with these various human moods? What reason is there for such a mess of sensitive interludes? The primary moods, as I call them, of Mad, Sad and Glad, And the secondary moods of Guilt, Fear and Hope-- Why are we subjected to each and every emotional doodad? What is their purpose, their measure, their scope? Why must we be victims of such strong feelings that so intrude,  Are they not a sign of great weakness and all that that may include? To that I say, nay,  It's only weakness to be at their mercy, letting them win night and day, Being able to handle them is our right, get them to obey, For that is  The Inherently Happy Way. It's a human thing, it's very plain,  Please allow me to explain! Glad is for bonding and for making close friends, Sad is for empathy and for sharing troubles and pains,  Mad is a warning of danger, and unpleasant ends. Fear is the jolt that helps us escape ropes and chains, Guilt is the shame that compels us to change and make amends, And Hope is the outlook that encourages both hearts and brains. They are tools, they are instruments, they are partners, pals, and chums, And when wielded expertly they can help you face whatever comes. So, make friends with your moods, get to know how you feel, Practice them till you own them, or they'll control your steering wheel. Only use them as needed, don't go wild, or get unhinged, And the passions that might've overwhelmed you, will barely leave you singed. Haha Yowza

Sometimes hitting snooze may be just the thing you need,  Pressing pause on worry now to help you later succeed. [entire text below] Ep. 407 - Happy Apathy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Do you ever just want to do nothing at all? People, current events, the news,  Everything just makes you want to hit snooze, Staying in bed curled up in a little ball? Well, sometimes that may be just the thing you need, As long as you acknowledge that it doesn't have to last, You can use it to take a break until the storm has passed, Sometimes turning off worry can help you later to succeed. We all need some downtime now and then, It doesn't make you a quitter to press pause,  It can even help you bring new life to your cause, And help prevent total burnout now and again. Haha Yowza  

Always Aim for Balance and Growth. For when you reach for dynamic sustainability, It helps you achieve not just one but both. [full text below] Ep. 406 - The Inherently Happy Rule We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! There's lots of rules out there describing good behavior and proper conduct, There's the Silver Rule, the Golden Rule and even the Platinum Rule too, But there's still exceptions to those rules--allow me to deconstruct: Let's start with the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want them to treat you. Sounds good--at first, but what if I don't want to be treated the same way that you do? Maybe you like brutal honesty, so you decide to attack someone while they're down, You're just following the Golden Rule--so how can that plan possibly fall through? It's because not everyone needs the same things, overwatering can make you drown. A cousin to that is the Silver Rule: Don't treat others how you don't want them to treat you. That's fine, right? Well, what if you hate it when people ask you for help when they need it?  So, you, in turn, never ask for help either, even when you could really use it too,  So, you just create a situation where nobody helps anybody and we all lose bit by bit. Then there's the Platinum Rule--well, that's got to be the best one, right? Treat others the way they want to be treated. What could go wrong with that? Well, what if they want to be mistreated because they feel they deserve spite, And the reason they feel bad is because they are bad--when they are not a doormat! The problem is--all those rules are relative, They depend on who likes to be treated how. Except one, of course, The Inherently Happy Rule: Always Aim for Balance and Growth. Now you could say that's relative too--Balance and Growth depends on what's happening now, But when you reach for dynamic sustainability it helps you achieve not just one but both. Let say you're overwhelmed, things are getting frantic and you're getting stressed, You want to give up, but you can't because you haven't finished your work yet, But if, instead, you stop trying to fight everything, which is only making you more obsessed, You'll see that treating things as connected challenges--not hardships may be your best bet. Haha Yowza

Happy Context means taking all things into account,  Not assuming you know everything based on a first impression, There's usually more to a person than that initial amount, So, give people a chance beyond just that first session.   [full text below]   Ep. 405 - Happy Context We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Sometimes we only get part of someone's story and as a result may miss the meaning, So we jump to conclusions thinking we got all we need, or all there is to know, Thus dismissing the critical thinking part of our brains with no plans for reconvening, And in so doing we underestimate others, and wind up with nothing to show. For when you judge people based on a single action or trait, you ignore all other factors, Culture, upbringing, thoughts and experiences all play a part in who we are, And when we discount someone's unique circumstances we encourage their detractors, And shortchange ourselves as Variety is what's helped Humanity get this far. Happy Context means taking all things into account,  Not assuming you know everything based on a first impression, There's usually more to a person than that initial amount, So, give people a chance beyond just that first session. Now, sure, this still doesn't mean you're going to get along with everybody you meet, You could give them every opportunity to reveal their true selves and they still fall short, Some people don't even give themselves a chance to grow and so will settle for defeat, And that can prove a draining burden that it is not your responsibility to support. I've tried giving some people the benefit of the doubt, but they just lashed out instead, I let them know that if they kept that up, then I might stop returning their calls, But rather than change their behavior, they doubled down, completely ignoring what I'd said, It can be a pity when every attempt at raising up others results in catastrophic falls. But then there's those who at first seem awful, but after giving them a chance are great, Because sometimes they need another opportunity to get to know you too, All of us can put up walls to protect ourselves, and lash out at things that we hate, But when we put in a little extra time, effort and intention we can sometimes break through. I've had friends who later betrayed me, and I've had bullies who became my defenders, So, I'm not saying every person you meet deserves a second chance, or a third, But that we should still try to look past the surface to separate supporters from offenders, And let them do the same in return to clarify the image that was previously blurred. Haha Yowza

It's crucial that we maintain our own sense of integrity and self-rule,  Success isn't chasing someone else's prize, but building something with meaning, It's not about polishing someone else's imitation crown jewel, Manufactured by those that can't even be bothered to see which way people are leaning. [full text below] Ep. 404 - Happy Hundred Thousand  We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! It took a little under seven years to reach ten thousand downloads on this podcast, And now it's taken a little over nine months more to reach one hundred grand, So every month since hitting ten K, that old seven year record has just been blown past, So, thanks! It's great people get the Inherently Happy Way, I'm so glad you understand. As more people listen and share,  We all become more aware,  But then--with them come the promoters and the sellers,  Those advertising gals and marketing fellers, They say, ‘I see that your podcast is gaining some ground,'  ‘You know what'd make it better? Selling our stuff--by the unit, liter, bushel, and pound!' ‘We have books, we have drinks,'  ‘We have apps with hyperlinks!' ‘We'd love to turn your platform into our vending machine merry-go-round!' But to them I ask this, ‘have you ever even listened to an episode?' For it may not be the kind of thing that you require or expect, They're reminders for Balance and Growth, not a place for your trucks to unload, The only guest is me and the only merch is mine designed to help folks connect. Then sometimes I receive arrogant and aggressive emails demanding my reply, They give me deadlines and ultimatums and warn me not to waste their time, So, I don't--I simply don't respond, not even to thank them for stopping by, I don't much care for bullies, so I don't even bother sending them a “no thank you” rhyme. And besides, I've met corporate sales people before, I know the tactics they employ, Everything is urgent, and limited, and will make all your wildest dreams come true! When what they really want is ownership and to take away one's independence and joy, They pressure and threaten and before you know it they control everything you say and do. But that's not Balance and Growth! That's not the Inherently Happy Way!  I make these shows to try to distill what I learn about life into something I can use, To help me the next time I feel stressed, angry, upset or unsure after a really tough day, And if people want to share that--great! it's available to all to listen to as you choose. It's crucial that we maintain our own sense of integrity and self-rule,  Success isn't chasing someone else's prize, but building something with meaning, It's not about polishing someone else's imitation crown jewel, Manufactured by those that can't even be bothered to see which way people are leaning. So to those who just want to get your hooks into me, well, maybe you need to listen too, Maybe you've let the world make you forget that you're Inherently Happy as well, Maybe you've lost your way, and need to start deciding for yourself what's best for you, It's never too late, the time is now!--and maybe your soul isn't something you should sell.  Haha Yowza

The importance of being Pleasant is not to be dismissed, You may think it means being a pushover, but I disagree, It can sometimes take far more strength than just making a fist, Because it requires you to have empathy to a significant degree. [full text below] Ep. 403 - Pleasantly Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! The importance of being Pleasant is not to be dismissed, You may think it means being a pushover, but I disagree, It can sometimes take far more strength than just making a fist, Because it requires you to have empathy to a significant degree. I encounter people in bad moods on a regular basis, And I sometimes want to tell them to go take a flying leap, But that just pollutes the waters of my mental oasis, Resulting in nothing more than a psychological garbage heap. But being Pleasant, on the other hand, can sometimes work wonders,  Once they realize I'm unflappable, they can stop pushing quite so hard, They might even apologize for their attitude and their blunders,  And then I get to be the bigger person and someone they can't disregard. I grew up on a street that provided access to the cemetery in my town, They called the street Pleasant to make it seem nice and quiet, I imagine a name like Cemetery Lane wouldn't have had the same renown, And if it was called Death Road, the town parade might've turned into a riot. But Pleasant Street wasn't always peaceful, there were fights, funerals and speeding cars, We lost more than one beloved housepet over the years to drivers not paying attention, And there were dog attacks, rivalries and acts of bullying that left lasting scars, As well as forms of cruelty beyond levels of above-average comprehension. So I learned to be tough because in my house you needed a thick skin, And yet I didn't want to grow up to be cold, bitter, angry, hateful or afraid, So I left Pleasant Street, while still carrying some of those feelings deep within, And ridding myself of that pain has been something of a lifelong crusade. Who else but such a one as that would do a weekly podcast about Balance and Growth, Trying to come to terms with the unpleasantness that can sometimes bubble forth, But I don't just want to pretend to be Pleasant, which can come off as fake and forced both, I try to find real reasons to actually feel and be Pleasant letting Happy be my True North. Used to be that behind my smiling mask was a face of pure vengeance and hot fury, I couldn't fight all the Mean People at once, so I sat brooding, plotting their eventual demise, Someday, I vowed, when least they expected it, I would be their executioner, judge and jury, And then I'd laugh, and bury them so deep that no one would ever catch wise. But the further I got from Pleasant Street, the more I could let those bad old feelings go, And as I did I realized that underneath all that darkness there was light, I remembered the days long before bullies ever came into my life and brought me low, Back when people arguing who could claim to be my best friend was the only fight. I was Pleasant and Happy, and what I once was, I was sure I could be again, I just had to strip away all the old bad habits, aggression and grudges I was holding on to, Not for anyone else, but for myself, I needed to decide there and then That I would aim for Balance and Growth in all that I say and do. It took me a minute, and it's not smooth sailing always even now, I've had to suffer through heartbreak and tragedy, near death experiences and loss, But even when I get stressed I still find causes to smile and you want to know how? I remember that Happy comes from within, and knowing that makes me my own boss. Haha Yowza

Happy Authenticity means you follow your own path,  Not to impress others, or to keep them off your back, But because, maybe, you prefer cartooning to theoretical math, And you love what you have, rather than hating what you lack.   [full text below] Ep. 402 - Happy Authenticity We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I used to try to conform to what other people thought I should be, I wore long pants and studied science despite preferring art and wearing shorts, I signed my name in cursive, and ate whatever was put in front of me, Which led to bitterness, nervousness and record-breaking nausea by all reports. I wanted people to like me and to want to be my friend, Like that time in my early youth when I was positively adored,  Before fears and growing pains marked a distinctly downward trend, And I was both mocked and shunned by an ever-growing horde. I become increasingly desperate to turn things back around, But no matter what I did, it seemed to be the exact wrong thing, No matter the tactic or effort, I seemed forever to be losing ground, Still, I hoped life was a pendulum and that I was eventually due an upswing. But there's something to be said for being friendless, for it means having no peers, Since without those, one has no peer pressure, which makes conforming a waste, And so I was free to work on myself and to, one by one, dismantle my own fears, Allowing me to pursue my own interests according to my own sense of good taste. I could freely admit that I didn't like certain foods, or long pants, or cursive letters, I allowed myself to be silly when I felt like it and quiet when I ran out of things to say, I pursued the arts, stopped going to church, and refused to wear pullover sweaters, I hung out in cemeteries contemplating the universe, and managed to find my own way. Because I gave myself the freedom to try new things to see what would stick, If I started a new hobby that didn't last, well, I could at least say I tried, And because I didn't need the approval of others, their demands had no kick, I could also be totally honest with myself because who would prefer that I lied? Happy Authenticity means you follow your own path,  Not to impress others, or to keep them off your back, But because, maybe, you prefer cartooning to theoretical math, And you love what you have, rather than hating what you lack. So, does this mean I sleep out in the wilds with neither job nor home? Not at all, I earn my rent doing office work and helping out where I can, But I also write, draw and dream, letting my heart soar and my soul roam, Making my life into something I like, as Happy now as it was when it all began. Haha  Yowza  

Everything fluctuates--Life itself is Change, It can affect plans both short-term and long-range. Will you fight the inevitable or will you be able to adapt? Tapping into hidden reserves of resilience previously untapped?   [full text below]   Ep. 401 - Happy Change We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Everything fluctuates--Life itself is Change, It can affect plans both short-term and long-range. Will you fight the inevitable or will you be able to adapt? Tapping into hidden reserves of resilience previously untapped? If you embrace the changes you find, are you being too passive? If you challenge them, do you risk your aggression getting too massive? Like with anything, it depends on what the change is. Is it the collapse of an empire, or a bubbly drink losing its fizz? Is something being created or destroyed? Is something improving or deteriorating? Does it make you enthusiastic or annoyed? Is it empowering or debilitating? Is something getting bigger or smaller? Are things moving faster or slower? And which do you prefer? Thicker, thinner, shorter, taller? And would you adjust the frequency if you could? Higher or lower? Change comes in many forms, Death for one can mean Life for another, The early bird catching the worm could be some baby bird's mother. Growth is Change, but Balance allows us to manage it, Reality is in a constant state of dynamic flux and sway, We do our best as time and resources permit, Hoping and struggling, trying to win the day. We must remember to temper our expectations for both good and bad,  Good things will change, and bad things will change, so don't get stuck,  But keep agile and adaptable even as you feel glad, mad or sad, So that you can move with the fluctuations and not be a sitting duck. Haha Yowza

If you can see yourself in people who may be dissimilar to you,  If you can find the humanity in those who can, at first, cause you dismay, Then you could get to know and even learn to appreciate their different worldview, Which may afford you the gift of Happy Grace, allowing you to see things in a new way. [full text below] Ep. 400 - Happy Grace We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! If you can see yourself in people who may be dissimilar to you,  If you can find the humanity in those who can, at first, cause you dismay, Then you could get to know and even learn to appreciate their different worldview, Which may afford you the gift of Happy Grace, allowing you to see things in a new way. We all like to consider our views to be right and everybody else's to be wrong, But sometimes those who disagree with us can still make valid points, Which we'd never discover if we're being too dismissive or headstrong, Complaining about how everything they do disturbs, distorts and disjoints. If you are religious, do you have any non-religious friends? If you are political, do you associate with those who are not? Or even with those who are religious and political but with seemingly different ends? Does it turn into a shouting match resulting in each side giving as good as they got? Inherently Happy means that Balance and Growth are built-in, standard features,  We all feel better when we stop fighting ourselves, and sustainably improve instead, And part of that relies on us expanding our horizons, a lesson taught by all the best teachers, Which means we must sometimes dive into opposing viewpoints becoming more well-read. Those who you claim to be the enemy, may think the very same of you, Their anger and fear of you exactly matching the energy you yourself are showing, Which you can't see because you're too busy condemning everything that they do, Which only proves their point, both of you unaware of your own lack of knowing. But if you can turn off the spotlights and sirens and learn to listen and connect,  Then you may find that they are willing to do the same for you to reach common ground, Because Happy Grace is for everyone willing to look beyond destructive cause and effect, And recognize within others the very same humanity we ourselves claim to have found. Haha Yowza

Strength is often measured in terms of brute force,  If someone can fight oppression, then they must be strong, of course! But sometimes power doesn't need to be expressed at arm's length, For the ability to endure without collapsing is true mental strength!   [full text below] Ep. 399 - Happy Resistance We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Strength is often measured in terms of brute force,  If someone can fight oppression, then they must be strong, of course! But sometimes power doesn't need to be expressed at arm's length, For the ability to endure without collapsing is true mental strength! I've often been told I'm too emotional by people who consider emotions to be weak, And those very same people then resort to destructive habits as a coping technique, When I, instead, recommend learning how to manage one's emotions and moods,  Through Happy thoughts, practices, and habits, like exercise, good sleep and healthy foods. When tragedy befalls me, I don't bottle it up, I express it, I let it out, I process, This is not being too emotional or weak, this is dealing with it so that I don't obsess, So that I don't let it fester and rot and turn me furious, manic, psychotic or numb,  I don't view my moods as things to be feared or avoided because, to me, well, that's dumb. That is misunderstanding the very nature of the human heart and mind, Which help us to self-regulate our lives in the face of society's daily grind, If you deny your own ability to deal with life, then you'll fight yourself every day, You'll fill yourself with shame and hatred, call yourself weak and throw your humanity away. I used to try to fight my emotions because that's what everyone told me I should do, Unless it was anger, that was okay, so I became a vandal and a pyromaniac--wouldn't you? I drank, I smoked, I did drugs, I was mean to myself and to others--what a tough guy, right? I got speeding tickets, I got into fights, I cut myself, and plotted revenge at all hours of the night. I got arrested, I lost friendships, I got in trouble at work, I called people names, I talked back and acted like a jerk, I'd show them, I vowed, I'd make them regret it one day--they'd all see! But this self-made poison wasn't hurting them, it was only killing me. The world didn't owe me anything, I finally realized, it was the other way around,  We're all just trying to get through life as best we can, from delivery bed to burial ground, And we should make use of all the resources we have and all the help we can get,  It's not weakness to train yourself to handle extreme emotions before you get too upset. Fighters don't wait until they find themselves attacked to learn what to do, They practice every day to get so good that it becomes second nature. and so can you, Because life is a challenge for everyone, we all face the same potential for bleakness,  And trying to just white-knuckle your way through isn't a strength, it's a weakness. Thanks to my regularly practicing dealing with my moods, and not shying away from them, I have greatly improved my ability to deal with what life throws my way, from joy to mayhem, From tragedy to triumph, because both extremes can lead to imbalance that can derail, So, if anything--I'm less emotional in the sense that instead of collapsing, I prevail. We all face challenges, no one gets away clean, And all we can do is our best, whatever that may mean, So, raise your own level of expertise to be able to stand strong,  And come what may, you'll withstand the onslaught and wind up where you belong. Haha Yowza

Persist through obstacles, setbacks and strife, Remain purposeful and consistent even in the face of worry and fear, Regardless of whether the task is a small one or lasts your entire life, Practice inner discipline and conscientiousness to grant you the strength to persevere. [full script below] Ep. 398 - Happy Diligence We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Happy Diligence means persisting through obstacles, setbacks and strife, Where you remain purposeful and consistent even in the face of worry and fear, Regardless of whether the task is a small one or lasts your entire life, Practicing inner discipline and conscientiousness grants you the strength to persevere. I may not be the smartest, or the fastest, but I am made of some pretty strong stuff, So, I know that I always can, at the very least, work super, extra hard, So that even if my skills are lacking, my tenacity might still be enough To allow me to out-maneuver, outlast, and go the extra yard. I give myself small deadlines to help keep my motivation alive,  I finish smaller projects, while I chip away at the bigger ones,  It grants me a sense of accomplishment, which, in turn, boosts my drive,  And ensures that I keep following the path of my dreams wheresoever it runs. I practice my moods, and I work through my pain, I teach myself to be resilient, I train my heart and my mind, But I also allow myself to be silly, to laugh, and to play in the rain, To smile at strangers, and write about what it means to be kind. For Happy Diligence isn't just about how to be tough, But also how to be tender when you need to be too, How to be Human, which is sometimes smooth, sometimes rough, Because Life is, ultimately, something each of us is just trying to make it through. Haha Yowza

Using the perspective of the Inherently Happy Way To act as a guidepost to plan out your day, Shows you the road we each need to drive And the tools to maintain it to make sure that you thrive. [entire script below]   Ep. 397 - Happy Harmony We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Using the perspective of the Inherently Happy Way To act as a guidepost to plan out your day, Shows you the road we each need to drive And the tools to maintain it to make sure that you thrive. ‘Cause when you're balanced, you have equilibrium,  When you grow, you improve, Balance reveals patterns--you can practically see ‘em, And Growth helps you change, adapt and move. When you're mindful, you're aware, When you're grateful, you hold good favor in high regard, Mindfulness helps keep you attuned to how, what, and where, And Gratitude grants you grace for when things get hard. When you're compassionate, you can feel what others are feeling,  When you're understanding, you have connection, Compassion shows you empathy, the first step towards healing, And Understanding teaches you forgiveness and reflection. Together they give you self-purpose, self-acceptance, and self-respect, And this Happy Harmony allows you to see that in others--I know ‘cause I checked. Haha Yowza    

Science shows us what Logic, Nature and the Body are and can do, Philosophy shows us why People, Life and the Self are worthwhile subjects to pursue, And Art shows us how Words, Images and Music express the experiences we all go through. [entire script below] Ep. 396 - Happy Smart We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Let me tell you a little about the nine kinds of smart,  You can add them to a spreadsheet or graph them on a chart,  To help you recall the facts I'm trying to impart. Some people call them talents, others say they're learning styles,  But even if you call them traits that the heart and mind compiles, They often tend to show themselves in a variety of skill profiles. You can sort them somewhere under the Three Great Considerations, Ways of interacting with reality in all its fluctuations,  Those being Science, Philosophy, and Art and their various specifications. Science shows us what Logic, Nature and the Body are and can do, Philosophy shows us why People, Life and the Self are worthwhile subjects to pursue, And Art shows us how Words, Images and Music express the experiences we all go through. Logic as in patterns, Nature as in environment, and Body as in sports, People as in empathy, Life as in existence, and Self as in reflection when feeling out of sorts,  Words as in language, Images as in design, and Music as in rhythm that transports When we show an interest in any of these areas we learn how to connect,  We see the relationships between thoughts and feelings, between cause and effect, And we learn about truth, harmony, integrity and realize what it means to come correct. The Three Great Considerations of Science, Philosophy and Art,  Are ways to engage with the world through the mind and the heart, And all the methods of doing that are what teach us to become Happy Smart. Haha Yowza

Sudden attraction can prove a distraction, And get you more thorns than flowers, While a gradual reaction can gain you some traction, And let you develop your powers.   [entire script below] Ep. 395 - Gradually Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Sometimes you can see without feeling, You'll notice a sunset, a rainbow, or a flower, But it doesn't make you jump up and hit the ceiling,  ‘Cause you're just trying to get home before rush hour. Some other time you'll catch a glimpse of a poster for a movie you've never seen, And without context it doesn't really register as something you'd even want to see, But then your friend tells you they think you'd find it really peachy keen, And so you watch it, you love it, and now that same poster is as lovely as can be. You can also be this way with human beings, At first, everyone may seem like extras in the movie that is your life, But then as you get to know them through multiple seeings, You may begin to feel something about them, could be joy, could be strife. You might meet an attractive person who is simply hateful,  Or a person you initially barely register, but who turns out to be a delight, And this can make you value deeper connections, and be grateful,  And maybe not judge so quickly before you know what's right. I myself can look at something beautiful and not immediately care,  While at the same time clinging to something tattered and torn, It's not to say I can't grow to love something pretty if I find more there,  Or that I've only ever liked ratty things since the day I was born. I just don't really do the “love at first sight” thing anymore, I don't get infatuated from a glance or a nice smile, I have been burned by that way too many times before, Where spending time with them made me feel like I was on trial. So, now I take my time to connect before I attempt any form of attraction, I can still appreciate sunsets, rainbows and flowers, I just don't let dreams of a pot of gold become a distraction From my journey to becoming Gradually Happy, and fully engaging with my Happy powers. Haha Yowza

If no matter how bad you want something you never get it, you'll hate the endless yearning,  But with a Happy Mindset, you'll realize that the opposite of Winning isn't Losing, it's Learning. [full script below] Ep. 394 - Happy Mindset We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! I've known smart, attractive, rich, and talented people who still hated their lives quite a lot, Because they were stuck in the past, or in a shame spiral, or hung up on guilt and regret, They could never be grateful, only ever seeing all the things they hadn't quite got, They never saw opportunities, only obstacles, for everything to them was a threat. I mean, I know, sometimes it feels like the world is doing everything it can to make life tough, No matter how bad you want something, you never get it--so, what's the point of yearning? Well, that all depends on your Mindset, really. A Mean one will make you Mean, sure enough, But a Happy Mindset knows that the opposite of Winning isn't Losing, it's Learning. Trying the same thing over and over only leads to progress if you learn along the way, And Progress is just another way of saying Winning by a matter of degrees, You may not win first place every time, but you can still gain strength and skill every day, And that's how you can keep your spirits up when everyone else has a feeling of unease. I got punched in the face once by a very angry man who I was only trying to assist, He couldn't see that, though, he could only perceive all the things he felt he was missing, So, ignoring all the good things around us, he just cursed, kicked the air and balled up his fist,  And then when I didn't back down, pretty soon it was the ground I was kissing. But did I cry or wonder why the world had been so cruel? Did I weep or wail? Not at all, I just got back up and watched him get hauled off by the cops. He sucker punched me, which is pretty dirty, but he went to jail, And I learned that not everyone wants my help and would just rather bust me in the chops. The outcome of any situation, therefore, should not be one's sole motivating factor,  Because then you'll miss the journey, the wisdom, the lesson and the hope,  You'll just condemn yourself to having meltdowns like a leaky nuclear reactor, Where even the slightest frustration makes you think you've lost and therefore can't cope. Now I get sad, sure, I get mad too, I'm a person, but I know those feelings are fleeting, Because I always aim to maintain my Happy Mindset even if it takes a few tries, Not everything works the first time you do it, but it'll never work if you keep retreating, So, just keep at it, keep trying for improvement because isn't that the real prize? Haha Yowza  

Our human lives contain both joy and bereavement, Through it all we have Art, a crowning achievement, Art is for communicating the Human Condition, Thereby elevating it, a most valuable mission. [full script below] Ep. 393 - Artfully Happy We begin as always  with the Happy Creed. We believe in Happy,  in Balance and Growth,  of being Mindful and Grateful, Compassionate and Understanding. Yowza Haha My Happy Friends! Our human lives contain both joy and bereavement, Through it all we have Art, a crowning achievement, Art is for communicating the Human Condition, Thereby elevating it, a most valuable mission. Art is a way of interacting with reality, one that asks “How?” Just like Science asks “What?” and Philosophy asks “Why?” Art is a way of accessing Happy in the here and now, Which you can then revisit or share with others by and by. Art, along with Science and Philosophy, is one of the Three Great Considerations of humankind, Because asking “How?” makes us think about quality and skill, About form and content, and depth of heart and mind, And helps us express our Happy creative Will. Art is a way of interacting with the world and the people in it, It can help us form connections and stimulate our souls, It can happen over the course of a lifetime or in less than a minute,  It can be about things experienced in passing or passionate life goals. It is craft, it is feeling, it is life, it is history, It helps us make some sense of the Great Mystery, It delves deep and shows us that we are not alone, Because being Artfully Happy goes straight to the bone. Haha Yowza