J & J People Are The Worst

"What is real? How do you define 'real'? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain". -Morpheus That motherfucker was on to something! "Real" is only what you perceive it to be. In the end, all of us are full of shit, and simultaneously none of us are. Yeah, think about that while you're trying to pass that rough dry bowel movement you're currently trying to finish. You should have taken a real stool softener. And, while you're at it, soften up your attitude a little bit, and try not to be such a real cunt. I think we'll all benefit in the end. Signed, A real motherfucker (According to Jenn)

You know what, it's been a long week. That's what this episode was. So much anger, sadness, disappointment, and shame. But, Piggy is trying to get over all of that. Don't worry about her too much, she gets plenty of treats and pets. Anyway, life is being dealt with, you know how it fucking goes. Let's just try to keep it nice out there, huh? Most people suck, so try not to be like them.

Look ya'll, Jay might be drinking the kool-aid or something, because he's talking all kinds of crazy with this "Body count doesn't bother me anymore" INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!! but incase this is the new norm WELCOME LADIES you might actually like the new "Devil May Care" Big Jay!!

Have you ever just gotten sick to the end of wanting to impress people with lies about you? Are you ready to be who you are and let someone love you for the piece of shit human you are? GREAT we can help you! Call 1 1800-Get-Bent and for the low low price of $299.99 + travel and expenses *price subject to change on a whim*, Jay and I can come and give you a full assessment as to what's wrong with you and why the opposite sex won't touch your no-no square! BUT if you don't the funds, just say so... GO ahead and listen to the episode and it's kinda like the same thing. But not really!

What's your views on Body counts? is it important? do they need to disclose the hole roster before hand? Look, I'm not saying don't have a good time, all's I'm saying is be smart, be safe, and don't under any circumstances EVER EVA EVA EVA, Wait until you are married to take that brand new car out on the roads a few times. Drive it. but put your seatbelt on!

I want you to listen to me and listen good. Make Informed choices. Think like you've got some fucking home training. Don't be a twat, and stop talking to someone just because they don't like the same person you do. most important. BE A GOOD FUCKING HUMAN TO ALL OTHER HUMANS. GO TEAM

Do you ever think about the glitches you see? Do you think this is all a weird dream that we're having DeJa'Vu because we really have lived this life before!! and We're just the ripple in time that this scenario worked out, THIS TIME! Ok listen my gummy went too hard, and I'm panicking and hit post too early. So HAPPY HALLOWEEN Kiddies!!! you get it a tiddy bit early!

If you haven't had someone tell you about toxic masculinity yet, give her about 30 seconds and she will tell you how, you walking on the street side to keep her away from traffic is toxic and she's a strong independent woman, she don't need no man!! So Tina, you don't NEED a man, but I bet you'd be a whole lot more pleasant to be around if you got yourself a proper weenering, like I just did!

Have you ever been so close to letting that inner thought out? Well gather round kiddoes because Jay's going to tell you the moment he realized maybe he's been in the Heman woman haters club for a little too long!

The Diddler has been caught, and the jig is up! I always thought he was just some goofy dickhead. I had no idea he had become a full-fledged supervillain! I was about to say that I hope he's getting all the *BIFF*, *BANG*, *BOOM*, and *POW* on his butthole as payback, but he'd just be enjoying himself. Diddy has to go! Let's have the next white party as his funeral, just for funsies.

You know it's true! If a woman isn't feeling any "chemistry", "vibe", "spark", "butterflies", or whatever other malarkey they want to call it, then you're pretty much shit out of luck. But, whatever you do, do not forget that you should not get angry about somebody's preferences! If she's not feeling you, oh well. Pamela Handerson never turns you down, and she can't even see you. You live your life, let everybody else live their lives, and we can all just go about getting down the fucking road! Good? Good.

Have you ever been really rooting for someone in a movie to win in the end because the whole time they were just getting ragdolled by life over and over again, only to find out they turn out just like the bad guy. Yeah thats how this movie left me feeling. Take a listen and see if you agree, or if you didn't see any undertones.

Have you ever asked yourself "What would you do?" Because if you haven't you're most likley not the kind of person this episode will reach anyway! so listen, or don't but feel free to reach out to someone and be kind today for no reason!

Have you ever just wondered what your pets are thinking about? Like have you given them the best life? is the only thing they get huffy about is when the next treat is showing up for playing they humans stupid little games?!?!? If so, congrats you have a one up on those asshole human parents. and if that's not enough I'm running for president in 2028 because by the old Gods and the New I can't be worse than our current options! So as my one of my fave TikTokers LilchOmp says "Labia's and genitals, Strap in and Strap on"

You may have your finger on the pulse of society, but society has it's boot on your neck, and it's fingers in every single pie you've got. Do you ever feel like you're being watched? You are. Not by somebody in person, unless you're just lucky like that. But, there are multitudes of people who could each give an accurate account of every single move you've made in a day, and you've never met any of them. A statement like that would have been conspiracy theory territory less than 10 years ago. Now, it's just common knowledge, and everybody just seems A-okay with the shit! Oh well, enjoy the electronic cuffs everybody!! Big Brother can suck a big old fat one.

The "Happy Games", huh? I can tell you, a lot more people would probably be happier with them if there were less kiddie diddlers, and less domestic abuse between men and women in a "competitive" boxing ring. The open ceremony was strange, but I didn't really care about it other than the ballbag that was less than 3 feet away from a child's face. More than just a little bit of a problem there, just my two cents. Oh well, it is a nice change of pace to be openly patriotic for the USA, without being accused of being a far-right sexist homophobic racist awful, awful man. So, yay! Live it up, everybody. We'll be back to regularly scheduled bullshit in less than 2 weeks.

Have you ever just gotten so sick of putting on the whole face every day? or wearing the push up bra. or wearing the shoes to make your butt look better? because dudes don't care. I promise if you show up to his house in some shorts and one of his Tshirts telling him you just wanna lay on the sofa and watch survivor he's gonna be stoked!!! We need to stop setting our selves up to hurt our own feels. Also don't listen to broads who are willing to sell their kids to follow criminals. Things you never thought youd have to tell actual adults.

Listen I don't think I could F*ck up the country any more than it already is, BUT I'd like the chance to try! Honestly I'd vote for that crazy dude on TikTok that's always saying "Cuz I'm runnin for shit" at least he's got cute dogs lol. Go outside do something nice for the world WITHOUT FILMING IT you selfish thundertwonks.

"And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive!' Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"- Bill Pullman Independance Day Movie Happy 4th of July from everyone here at J&J's We hope even if you aren't from here you know, we still don't like ya'll, and America is still only as cool as Texas allows it to be!

Have you ever wanted to go back in time and find that moment where you looked at the opposite sex a little more critically? Because I remember that moment it happened to me. The moment I started to see males a little less shiny. I should have listened to my inner self, my 6 year old self was way smarter than almost 40 me!

Have you ever wondered who the biggest dealer of human lives is? Don't they always say it's usually someone in the home when kids go missing... who's been in everyone's home for decades?? WALT Jerome Disney!! *shut up yes I know his middle name isn't Jerome* Think about it.... location to parks and ports... Kids will give anything to go, Hell even adults are always wanting to go! Im not saying nothing, and I don't know Shit about Fuck.

Good evening mortals. We are still on the mission of trying to take over the internet. So grab a seat Pinky we've got a doozy for you! So people have once again upset Jenn in a way beyond her rage control. So in that infanite wisdom she has come up with a plan to fix the world!!! *Yes you hear this same line of insanity in every single movie you've ever watched where the Duke of Weselton (it's Wessington) is trying to take over the world. I hope ya'll brought snacks! email jnj.peoplearetheworst@gmail.com We would love to hear from you! What would you like us to talk about!

This is going to be short and super sweet because I'm two gummies in, and ready for bed, BUT it's the age old question of the double standard, even in dating scenarios. "He doesn't like you? What's wrong with him??" "She doesn't like you? Why what was your red flag?"

Have you ever wondered what goes through guys heads when they see a girl they like? Yeah me too because as Females we get SUPER dicked in just about every category. What total bullshit. Just listen to the episode and tell me we didn't solve the age old question, "Do you ever just wake up and try some dick"

What would you do if you saw something so horrific happening to someone? Would you stand up and help? Well alot of people on public transportation decided to just watch and record it happening. So when it's time to make the split second choice to get involved or stay on the bench... Ask yourself, is your Mama a Bitch??? Because my Mama didn't raise no bitch so I'm swinging, sticking, pulling hair, punching, I'm throwing everything at this person other than my stunning personality. ok I'm going to go take a blood pressure pill! HAVE A GREAT DAY! email jnj.peoplearetheworst@gmail.com

The freaks come out at night, but the crazies fear no sunlight. There's a lot of madness out there. You can see it, and the animals can smell it. Piggy tries to smell my dick ALL the time. That's not relevant whatsoever, but I say all that to say this. I don't get all of this boba tea hype. If I wanted balls in my tea, I'd just pour it on my crotch. That would exacerbate the whole Piggy dick smelling problem, though. But, you know what? If you want black jelly balls in the bottom of your tea, drink all that shit you want. I'm not going to tell you how to drink weird consumer beverages.

ok Life and Death right now you have to pick would you rather be stuck in the woods with a man, or a bear? If youre a female and you said Man, you're a traitor to your sex If you're a man and you picked either, You're still just wrong because all men are the same and are worse than being mauled by a bear. So I don't know what to tell you, Maybe identify as a toaster and claim a spot on the counter! get ready for a RIDE this week ya'll. I got big Jay's blood pressure a little high but it's worth it in the end!

Listen I am so torn on this weeks episode and I don't know how I can fix it. It might just be one of those great life mysteries like why their is brail at drive up ATM's, or why 24 hour gas stations still have locks on their doors, do humans depreciate like cars the more men they sleep with? I'd say lets find out together, but I'm still just as confused as when we started this!

I hate social media, and you know this. TikTok is definitely my most hated app. But, even so, I believe it must be protected, You really want to be free? You really want everybody to have equal opportunity? Well, that means fighting just as hard for your enemies, as you do for yourself. You're a super conservative, strait-laced type? That's great for you! If you want to be free to continue living that way, you need to let polyamorous pothead swingers do their thing too. See how that works? We're all in this together. That includes people you share no common interests or beliefs with, and that's where a shitload of people's knees start to jerk. Relax those legs people! You might even get to have some fun along the way.

Have you ever wondered, what the age limit to live alone, whats your moral compass telling you is too late to take care of yourself? What if you have zero dependents that are willing to help? What if you have a million kids that try to help?!?!?! What if you're like Big Jay and you're just one stupid person away from the death shed disguised as a port-a-potty?!?! Also may be a good idea to just not use the toilet at our house. On that note I'm going to go stock up on Werther's originals in hopes my Nephews and Neice's are still willing to talk to me when I'm old!

Welcome back to my channel!!!! If I never have to hear someone say that it will be too soon. The world of internet sensations has gotten vastly overrated, I think if someone doesn't give them a healthy dose of reality instead of Botox, and BBL fat injected. In the immortal words of REM "It's the end of the world as we know it."

What do you do when you come across something online that you don't like or agree with? Do you A. keep on scrolling b. immediately get offended c. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?? if your answer isn't A or C, You are what's wrong with this whole ass world. BUT feel free to leave all your butt hurt feels in the comments and we'll read them while we're eating our snacks and laughing at you!

Where we're going, We don't need roads! Because I think the world is far to soft of a place that has made it to where people could never survive the days of old without current time modifications! I know I couldn't, give me Air Condition or give me death! I'll die on that hill too! most likley because as a woman inthe 1800's I'd be hung for a witch or beat to death for talking when I Shouldn't have been. even with all the riches in the world, would you go back to the 1800's? This is the question of the week! reach out at jnj.peoplearetheworst@gmail.com

Have you ever heard something, and it makes you run to the Google so you can see if it's true? I'm a big fan of history! You can't navigate the future, if you are ignorant of the past. With that said I found some real doozies of historical facts. so gather round, and listen to the stories of yester-year!

"Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?" The mind is a terrible waste to thing. I WAS Michael Knight for a good part of a day. I had K.I.T.T., the jacket, the jeans, the watch, and the hair was glorious. I almost got stuck there, and I still wonder if it could have been permanent. The brain is a powerful tool, that can be used for, or against you. Don't fall asleep at the controls, because you don't know how good your autopilot might be. Also, candy bars can get you killed in imaginary prison, so don't covet another man's Snickers. I don't care if you call the Three Musketeers for backup, I'm going to Take 5 outta that ass!

Today, we discuss the Netflix documentary series "The Program". Not to be confused with the 90's college football movie that was actually enjoyable to watch "The Program". It's almost impressive how soft people have become. The things that pass for "trauma" now, would have been life lessons in Saturday morning cartoons during my youth. Accountability for actions has all but disappeared, and everything is blamed on other people "being mean". Translation- Everybody doesn't do everything I say, immediately after I say it. I have the perfect cure for this modern illness, though. It's called FUCK YOU. My program is absolutely free, and the best part is you don't even need to take the course from me. Life will eventually teach you this lesson, which is: when things really matter, and there are tasks that NEED to get done, people's little feelings don't matter. You either get the job finished, or you can get the fuck out. That sounds too harsh? Sounds like a Tuesday to me. Oh well, I guess I won't be saving you a seat at the apocalypse party.

Have you ever entered into a contract where the terms were just not idea, it seems like you're taking all of the loss if this goes down the pooper? Well Thats what we think marriage is mostly... Well thats not true, Jay thinks marriage is a massive hoax, BUT I don't totally disagree with him this week, just don't tell him or dear God we'll never hear the end. You also get to hear Piggums the Pibble do some legit Doggo stuff by growling at the skunk on TV! PROUD MOM MOMENT!!!

WELCOME to our 100th EPISODE!!!! Glad you're here, take a seat and hold on tight kids because today Miss J is saving you hours of crying into your pillows and swearing off the male specimen for hours on end, knowing damn good and well you're going to call that tool box of a dude that calls you shit like "Bruh". or gives his boys more attention that he does you! Don't get Dickmatized ladies play the game the right way and find you a 100% for you a for real always makes you happy kind of thing, it comes in a box and either needs batteries or plugged in! THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO US FOR SO LONG!!

We're back from our annual drunken Mardi Gras getaway! I know, we missed an episode last week, and we apologize to all 6 of our regular listeners. Today, we discuss women, their pets, and what you should be on the lookout for. "Do you want to go back to my place, and check out my parrot?" You need to exit the conversation with that woman as quickly as possible, and also try not to leave her with any information that could be used to track you down at a later date. Trust me! "I do horse competitons(It doesn't matter what kind)." Run for your fucking life! For further life saving tips, listen to the full podcast.

Have you figured it out yet? It's a massive consperiocy, You have to pay your doctors a Subscription fee per year just to be able to see them when you need it, and pay another copay FOR WHAT?? to finance their new cars? I think the fuck not, they have a better chance of getting snuggles from a hooker! Who else do I need to give the ol' Rub & Tug to get my ADHD meds? Anyway I hope you enjoy the super aggravated ride this week! Toodaloo

Have you seen the show "Love on the Spectrum" ? THIS IS THE BEST THING THEY HAVE PUT ON TV IN YEARS. Go watch it. See the absolute joy it is to be one of Gods favorites because these bunch of folks are absolute Innocence of the lord on Earth! and I don't care what you say I'll take no questions, I'll fight you, we will throw hands. Get a great dose of soul rejuvenation and go watch this group try to navigate the dating world, and find love.

Short, sweet, and to the point. A plague has befallen our house over the last week, and Jenn is in the thick of it. So, no long-winded expositions during this episode. Why do guys like sex so much? Because it feels great, it's awesome, and nature is almost impossible to beat. Why are social media heifers so fucking stupid? Because they're bombarded by literal yes men, that have no chance of ever being touched by these girls. Also, if you negatively comment about anything they do, it's considered bullying, which is a huge no-no these days. Then, tons of people will start to try and bully you, which is PERFECTLY OKAY for some fucking reason. Send the floods, Lord. Make it acid rain this time, just to up the stakes.

It's funny what the random act of a crazy Raptor can kickstart in your brain. I suggest that you too get a house Raptor for inspirational purposes, and also to murder small sentient beings. So yeah, I'm pretty much asking people to do the impossible once again. Don't go after what's pleasing to the eye, sweet or savory on your palate, or enticing to the touch. Yeah, fucking right!! Societal standards and shaming used to keep people in line when it came to these things. But, that was deemed "oppressive", and now here we are. Marriage rates at an all-time low, divorce rates still high, people hooking up left and right without ever finding any real satisfaction. "Pandora doesn't go back in the box, she only comes out." I love "Pineapple Express"! I foresaw all of this years ago. I seent it!! Now, let me push my hands into your couscous, you filthy bitch.

Happy and Merry folks, Heres to a new year and hopefully you're not one of those "New Year, New ME" kinda dudes because it't not. You're the same old Cindy you were on 12/31 with your cats, and poor choices just like the rest of us schmucks. So gather round, lets hear what the new year has to bring your two favorite Fuck It Friday hosts. Or at least Jenn, because I'm the one writing this while Jay is being held hostage by a Pupper Cuddle Puddle.

Do you know the moment you fell in love with your person? like the exact moment you just "Knew" that was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life making absolutely miserable? Yeah me either, but I know for SURE, 100% black and white, fact that Jay and I don't agree on this time line of events. Matter of fact we're in two totally different multiverses. SO gather-round kiddies let me tell you why Jays wrong this week! Happy New Year to all!

How do you go from happy Christmas memories to paranormal stories? Just like this, bitches! Krampus should have been mentioned here. I feel like that was a missed opportunity. You know, I'm really trying to concentrate on writing this, but our beloved mascot Piggy the Pitbull is ripping major ass, right next to me. It's not good, not even a little bit. It smells like chili macaroni, mixed with the taint musk of Satan. Talk about haunted buttholes! How's that for a call-back, all the way from episode one? It's like I actually know what I'm doing, or something. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals!! If you leave cookies out for Santa, and one of them has a bite out of it in the morning, do you know what that means? It means your cookies fucking suck! The plate at my house, nothing but crumbs in the morning. I was filled with wonderment, and my Dad was filled with enough sugar to contribute to his diabetes. True story!

Have you ever had someone ask you a question and it just leave your brain reeling? Yea well Jay likes to do that shit to me WAY too much, which is why we're bringing it to you to mull over, so my poor ADHD head can take a rest and think about more important things like, how the FUCK I'm going to avoid space travel when it happens?!?!?! or how to make the collar like Doug had in UP so I can figure out why Piggy loves Jay so much more than me, even though I rescued her! RUDE.

What would you do if you suddenly woke up with super human speed? Or Imortaity, what about the ability to fly??? pretty cool right? OK but what if you woke up with Super crap powers? Like you can only smell guilty peoples B.O.? or you're a human lie detector but you've got to be able to fondle someones junk to know for sure? The wild shit my ADHD thinks about is one thing, me trying to articulate this hot ass mess thats a whole other story all together. SOOOOO get comfy and get ready for me trying to explain to a total comic nerd how my reasoning works. Spoiler Alert he doesn't ever get my point, It's a really good thing he's hot!

I highly doubt any crybullies listen to this podcast. I mean, what are the odds that any one out of the ten of you are a professional victim? I don't understand why any of that bullshit is happening. It's completely unnecessary! Nobody is face fucking you with their videos and recordings. YOU chose to watch that shit, and then you watched it AGAIN because you loved how mad it made you the first time. As soon as you don't like something, you can stop doing it! What a strange time we live in, to have to explain consent to consume content to full grown people. I say, "SUCK IT!!". You'll say, "SUCK IT!!", back. But, then I won't suck it, because I know that I DON'T FUCKING HAVE TO!

There's always one of these heifers in the group. If you're sitting there thinking, "There's not one in MY friend group.", then it's you hoe!! Stop chickenhawking your friend's guys! Get your own goddamn dude, and when you do, stick with that ONE. TLC should have made another song called "Butterflies", as a sequel to "Waterfalls". Maybe then a lot of women out there would have learned to don't go chasing butterflies. Because, I think y'all get the butterflies in your stomach confused with ACTUAL love. You know when you're in a new relationship, and you get excited/nervous just because you know you're going to get to be around them? Butterflies. Have you ever been in a relationship with somebody for over 10 years, you know exactly how many times their knees are going to crack when they get up out of bed, how many times they're going to fart on their walk into the bathroom, the same way they eat any type of food, the sound they make when they chew, the entire story they're about to tell after only hearing the first two words out of their mouth, and what their lazily wiped butthole smells like while you're performing oral on them, because they no longer have butterflies either, and aren't making that extra effort to use wet-wipes anymore? That's love. When women finally discover what real love looks like, that's what we call cheating/divorce. Any questions? Never forget what happened to Left Eye. Crazy ass heifer!

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is in distress! The worst part about it is, this was all completely avoidable. These motherfuckers were cranking out billion-dollar movies, and then just decided to poison the well. They already had the WHOLE audience, and their greed led them to try and go after that select few that were left. You know the ones. All those people that will never be happy, with anything, ever. Great idea!! Now, they can't even pull in $50 million at the box office for a full opening weekend. Starting with the first Avengers, they used to pull at least $50 million on that first Friday night. It's a bittersweet moment. On the plus side, they're finally getting what they deserve for nosediving the whole thing into the ground. On the negative, it has nosedived into the ground. But, if you fuck around, you find out! No exceptions. We'll always be Groot, though!!