Living by Design with Jake and Whit

www.fit-bar.com Have you ever felt that tension when you start thinking about a version of life you crave to live, but there’s something inside of you that keeps reminding you that you’re not the type of person you’d need to be to live that kind of life?  That you haven’t proven yourself worthy of dreaming those types of dreams?  Isn’t that a crazy idea – that you have to EARN the right to believe you’re capable of more?  What if that wasn’t the case, what if you were allowed to believe whatever you wanted? ...and what are you waiting for?  Join all the others who feel the same at fit-bar.com  

www.fit-bar.com Have you ever lost your cool in an argument on social media ...me too.  Usually because the OTHER person is refusing to live by the FACTS I am offering.  Well it's a FACT that attempting to change a belief by bombarding it with facts is ineffective ...so I guess I am the one not living by the facts.  The same is true with the beliefs we want to change in our OWN MIND.  Have a listen and let's get this sorted out.

www.fit-bar.com Whit and I are big fans of reflecting, evaluating, and adjusting.  The end of the year is always a natural time to do that, so we took full advantage.  Join in the conversation about the fears we faced in 2018 and let us know if you had any of your own.

www.fit-bar.com At FitBar - we LOVE Teddy Roosevelt's concept of "The Arena", so as we dive into this 3rd episode in our series about fear, we turned to the folks in the LITERAL arena ...athletes.  They're relationship with fear can give us insights into the dynamic of fear and courage in our own arenas.

Insights from FitBar  www.fit-bar.com One of my favorite techniques to battle the unhelpful stories I tell myself is to name them - what if you tried the same thing with your fear?  Name it, own it, then take action anyway.  How much energy do you expend resisting fear?  What if you could have that energy back?  What could you do?

From www.fit-bar.com Fear happens, there's nothing you can do about that, but isn't it odd that we tend to have this thought, "If this were REALLY a good idea, I wouldn't feel any fear."  Do I really want that thought running my life?  What if I practiced a different thought - "Any amazing destination I want to arrive at is going to require feeling fear along the way."  Would that increase my potential for amazing?

A mentor of ours, we'll call her Patty, loves to help people forgive.  Whenever she is presented with a new story of suffering, she smiles and asks in the most loving tone, "who do you need to forgive?"  As we go into the holiday season, we are often confronted with people who stir up discomfort inside of us.  Want to be free from that discomfort? FORGIVE. Want help forgiving?  Get in touch:  www.fit-bar.com  

There is often a tension that exists between our HOLIDAY traditions and our PERSONAL traditions - this podcast is all about learning to THRIVE within that tension. Do you LOVE this podcast?  SUBSCRIBE!!  and join the tribe at www.fit-bar.com  

I have had great Christmases filled with magic and fun - and I have had holiday seasons that just come and go and it seems like I never really got "in the spirit" - as I have wrestled to determine why, the answer has consistently been that the more I connect with loved ones, the more magic I feel.  Check out this podcast with 5 keys to connecting over the holidays. ...then connect with FitBar at www.fit-bar.com  

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - T. Roosevelt Want to get in the arena?  www.fit-bar.com    

In this episode, I asked Whitney about the the difficulty she found while she was still living in one story, but attempting to write ...and BELIEVE a new one.  She came up with insightful defense mechanisms that her brain used to keep her safe and stuck. Thoughts like: "What are you trying to do, PRETEND that events from your past didn't really happen?" "You're just a broken person pretending to be strong - you're being fake." "Sure, things are going well now, but how long can it really last?  Do even deserve any of this progress?" Sound familiar?  Then buckle up and hear the thoughts that got her past it. Want more Jake and Whitney in your life?  Go to www.fit-bar.com  

Have you ever gone back and thought through ALL of the wisdom, skills, insights, and perspective you've gained from the tough times in your life and asked yourself if you'd be willing to give it all up?  What if you were grateful for the wisdom instead of resentful of the pain ...who would you be without your story of pain? Want to learn to become THAT person?  Good news, that's what we do!   https://www.fit-bar.com

Life is FILLED with events ...moment by moment they've been stacking up as long as we can remember.  Whether consciously or subconsciously we assign a meaning to each of these events.  As those meanings are accumulated and practiced, they become our story and that story determines what is possible for us.  In this podcast, we will take a look at the validity of our story and see where we can make adjustments that will free us from our perceived limits. http://www.fit-bar.com    

"I love it when a plan comes together." - name that TV character. Whether it's building with instructions, driving with directions, or working out with an instructor, there is great freedom in taking action when the plan is already made.  It quiets the mind chatter - the debate in our mind about whether or not to keep pushing forward.  If you love the plan, if you find pride in sticking to the plan, then you simply continue to follow the plan.  Plans are Powerful! Want to make some powerful plans of your own?  Join the movement at http://www.fit-bar.com  

It would be silly to pick up a bow, grab an arrow, then lock that arrow in and draw the string back before you have a target.  We've found the same with growth, it doesn't work so well when you choose your actions minute by minute without a sense of what you're trying to accomplish.  So lets take some a second and AIM before we shoot. Join the movement:  https://www.fit-bar.com  

Landing on the moon, breaking the 4 minute mile, climbing The Nose on El Capitan - these were all considered impossible, yet there were people dedicating their life to succeeding anyway.  How could they do that ...WHY would they do that?  Pretty simple really, they believed FIRST. Do you have an "impossible" goal in your life you'd like to believe you could accomplish.  You're in luck because that's what we do: https://www.fit-bar.com  

If we're going to LIVE BIG we have to assess where we are, determine where we want to go, make a game plan about how to get there, then execute the game plan.  That destination is going to stir up some fear ...and when we get there, we're just going to celebrate the success, then set another scary goal.  A life like that it is going to require taking action in the presence of fear.  How do you do that?  ...you rely on your courage! Want more courage?  Go to https://www.fit-bar.com and get some!!

When you experience great loss, there is a feeling of grief that comes right along with it ...and that feeling is 100% appropriate.  Well if the idea of thought work is to be able to choose the thoughts that cause your emotions, does a situation like this break the system?  Not even a little bit - check it out! Want to go deeper?  Get in touch at https://www.fit-bar.com  

Part 3 in our 4 part series taking a look at the idea that "Its OK for people to be wrong about you."  In this episode we take a look at those beliefs that may be holding you back.  Beliefs about who you are and beliefs about your potential.  In order to make the big changes you're looking for, you may have to be wrong about you ...and that's Okay!! Want to go deeper?  Get in touch at https://www.fit-bar.com

Bold is an interesting concept - it involves a healthy relationship between fear and faith and, unlike arrogance, it implies action.  To me boldness is the ability to take the actions that lead to your goals even when you don't feel capable.  It's a willingness to commit to a process when the result is NOT guaranteed.  Learn to be bold! Want to go deeper?  Get in touch at https://www.fit-bar.com

Part 1 on a 4 part series on deciding "It's OK for people to be wrong about me."  Sometimes we have a massive craving to explain ourselves.  To explain why life is more difficult for us, to explain why it's not fair to judge based on our current performance, to explain why even if we just do the minimum, everyone should be impressed.  Why do we do that?  ...and more importantly, how do we snap out of it? Want to go deeper?  Get in touch at https://www.fit-bar.com 

There's something about standing on a trail and looking ahead at a cliff that is 2000 feet high.  You can't see where the trail goes, the cliff looks impossible to climb, and you can't see how the trail will get you up there ...but you continue to walk and your perspective begins to change.  There are a lot of lessons learned in the mountains that can help us climb the mountains in our lives back home.  Jason, Renee, Gary, Jen, Whitney, and Jake want to share their Lessons from Langley Want to go deeper?  Get in touch at https://www.fit-bar.com  

The 4th or our 4 part series on stopping that negative self-talk.  In this episode, Whitney and I share stories of people who are doing it right.  YES - you read that right, WHITNEY makes a voice appearance on this one. You'll also learn one more tool to become the master of your own self talk. Want to go deeper?  Find out how at https://www.fit-bar.com  

I have heard this expression from coaches all my life ..."Take pride in the process"  It is the antidote for "should" because it allows you to be where you are on your personal journey instead of worrying about your progress.  When you pride yourself on your willingness to take the next step in the moments when its most difficult, then the difficult moments take on a whole new meaning.  They become just another opportunity to show your strength. Ready to go deeper?  https://www.fit-bar.com

We've all tried to think positively.  We KNOW it's not good to think negatively about that bad thing that just happened, so we decide to think positively about it.  We try to convince ourselves that we're happy about something negative ...it doesn't work.  Let's talk about a POWERFUL difference - it was never a "bad" thing that happened in the first place.  That one awareness is key that unlocks powerful thinking. Want to go deeper?  Go to www.fit-bar.com and let's talk

Isn't it cool how "bandwagon fan" is a negative term - we literally discourage becoming a fan of teams because they've been successful.  What if we could apply the same logic to ourselves - "Oh you like me now that I've accomplished my goals - well you're not a "real" fan because I've been faithfully rooting for myself since the 80's when I was losing at everything."  Probably sounds pretty foreign, but why?  Let's find out in our next four part series on stopping that negative self-talk. We want to hear from you:  www.fit-bar.com  

What if you thought you were just going to spend one night away from home, so you packed a little stuff and left ...then never saw anything you owned again?  Matt and Nikki lived is and instead of beating them down, it is making them strong.  Check out their story as we wrap up our series on emotional adulthood. Nikki's Blog: Fun after Fire Then follow her on Instagram & Facebook

In Part 3 of our 4 part series about Emotional Adulthood and taking responsibility no matter what.  There are some pretty natural questions that come up: If I take responsibility when the other person was in the wrong doesn't that let THEM off the hook?  Doesn't it prevent me from teaching them a lesson?  Doesn't it prevent justice?  Won't it make it seem like I think what they did is OK?  Basically - NO ...because it's not about them, its about YOU! Don't forget to go to www.fit-bar.com and click subscribe to get your free "Emotional Age Quiz"

"Adulting" is hard - so why on earth would we WANT to do it?  When someone wrongs me it feels good to blame them.  I feel justified when I "make them pay."  It's comfortable to know that THEY are the ones to blame and I am the innocent victim ...but what is that comfort causing me to miss out on? Want to know your emotional age?  Go to www.fit-bar.com and click subscribe to get your free quiz.    

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl Viktor Frankl is the proof that sometimes our circumstances are so extreme that the only thing we can do is endure them, but when we choose to show up the right way, we can still achieve fulfillment.  Our experience of our life does not come from the events, but from how we respond to those events.  In this episode, we begin to unpack the incredible power of our response. Find out how to know when you're doing it well. www.fit-bar.com  

We all have people who have influenced our lives in incredible ways.  In this episode, I want to share a conversation I had with Fr. Terry Franklin back in 1988.  30 years later, it is a conversation that I still replay in my mind on a daily basis. Why follow the rules? Why do what's right? Why be thoughtful, kind, or compassionate?  Why see yourself as part of a larger community?  Is it because of fear of consequences ...or simply to choose to love? Join the conversation:  www.facebook.com/fitbaratx  

There is so much temptation for instant gratification, so why not just give in?  Why not just ride the wave of false pleasure until the ride is over?  Abraham Maslow has this crazy idea about a human need for self-actualization - and he seems like a smart guy.  In this episode we dive into the concept of delaying gratitude - why it's important and how to get better at it! and... There's always more at www.fit-bar.com Click to see The Marshmallow Test video More info on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Sometimes I try to convince myself that the best way through a busy season in life is to put my head down and grind.  The trouble is ...ALL of life is a busy season and I want to LIVE it ...not "pass the time."  In this episode we'll dive into the importance of looking up from those "to do" lists and taking an approach that wins the LONG GAME!! Join US!!  https://www.fit-bar.com

If you were to look at our Calendar, you'd see a chunk of time blocked off every morning that says, "Whit: Thought Work" - she literally doing it at the desk next to me while I type this right now ...but what the heck is it? Thought work is actually amazing and it has given a deep understanding to the way I was fortunate enough to be taught to live my life from childhood.  In this episode, I interview Whitney and get to the bottom of this thought work thing to find out JUST how she does it, why it offers her such freedom, and why she is so excited to share it with a community of people who need it. When you're ready to take this journey to the next level, head on over to www.fit-bar.com and let's get connected.

If I eat this burrito before I go to bed, I won't sleep well.  If I don't sleep well, I'll wake up groggy and feeling guilty ...THEN I won't feel like joining my friends for that paddle - I'll just get some computer work done.  Wait ...am I seriously considering trading a paddle on the lake with friends for a microwaved burrito?? In this episode I take a look at a trade I was making ...I was choosing to keep up with the next episode of TV shows over a deep connection with Whitney - as the Indiana Jones Knight of the Crusades put it, "He chose poorly". Sometimes we simply aren't aware of the TRADES we are making - that is NOT the FitBar Lifestyle!!  If this resonates with you, then stop it ...and join the tribe at Fit-Bar.com

Whitney and I hear a lot about "healthy habits" ...and "working out", but we see health as SO MUCH bigger than that.  In this episode Whitney challenged me to talk about health without mentioning workouts.  It was an enlightening little thought journey that took me from sunflower seeds, to puppies, to Mt Rainier, to Idaho's City of Rocks.  The bottom line ...LIFE IS AWESOME and it's important that we keep our body, mind, and spirit fully maintained so we can experience as much of it as possible!! There are more people who want to live life like you do - connect with them at fit-bar.com

Let's face it, we live in a culture that is obsessed with results.  Often that works against us when we are looking to learn something new.  The cultural expectations put a lot of "shoulds" in our minds.  I should have started this when I was younger.  I should have accomplished these goals by this point in my life.  If I was ever going to be able to do this, I should have done it by now.  In this episode Jake talks about the fears of changing his life trajectory at the age of 43 ...when he "should" be financially stable and providing for his family. Do you enjoy this podcast or feel inspired after you listen - FitBar is a community of people who are pushing themselves to grow in healthy ways and making that growth a lifestyle.  Join us!  www.fit-bar.com    

Teachers often hear the questions, "When am I going to use this?"  This can be a sign of an interested student looking for how new information applies in life ...but 95% of the time its a student trying to make a decision about whether or not the energy required to "learn this" is worth it.  They are looking for a way out.  We do the same thing with our quest for overall health in our lives.  Whenever it involves discomfort, we wonder - Is it really worth it?  Do I really have to do this? The secret that great teachers know is that you don't sell kids on the idea of building a boat, you show them the ocean and let them generate the desire to learn to build the boat themselves.  What if it were the same with living healthy?  In this podcast, Jake talks about the possibility of switching your thinking from summoning the willpower to endure your burpees, to understanding the life experience they can offer you. If you're ready to start living the life that is available when your body is running well, join a community that can help you at FitBar.

If you grew up playing sports, whether competitively or just for fun, you probably find yourself remembering lessons from coaches, teammates, victories, and struggles just about everyday of your life.  It's funny how that stuff sticks with you - and sports end up being a sort of training ground for the victories and struggles of life.  In this episode, Jake shares some insights he and Whitney recently gained by watching athletes, coaches, and fans. Like what you hear?  Find out more about the FitBar Lifestyle

Author of "10 Strategies Resilient People use to Bounce Back when Life Knocks them Down" Kathryn Sandford shares her insights into life, relationships, tragedy, joy, the power of choice, and how to keep moving forward when you feel paralyzed by grief.  You will love her warmth, wisdom, and her captivating accent :)  Opportunities to connect with people like Kathryn is one of the BEST parts of this job - I can't wait for you to meet her. Do ever feel like you'd like to live the FitBar lifestyle, or to experience The FitBar Effect in your own life?  Maybe it's time to Join the Movement and start living WITH the people you live among.

Feeling connected is the secret to a long and healthy life, an uplifting community increases our chances of success when looking to invite healthy change into our lives, and the depth of our connection is more important the breadth when it comes to reaping these benefits.  The question remains:  How can I DEEPEN the connections in my life? How can I FEEL connected?  Can you imagine if after your upcoming social or networking event, instead of leaving with a few business cards, handshakes, and “we should get together some time’s”, you made someone feel understood, cared for, comfortable, and they trusted you??  Well here are 7 tips to help you make that happen. Now its time to connect with FitBar at: fit-bar.com

We've all seen sporting events where things just aren't clicking for one team and they call time-out.  The purpose of the time-out is to stop the clock, take a break from needing to react, players can catch their breath, and most importantly to evaluate & adjust the strategy.  In this episode, Whitney shares how she took a "time-out" from dating to make sure she was the kind of person that the guy she wanted to attract would be attracted to.  You will learn the value of taking a break to reassess, how to focus on the important steps you need to take next, then get back to work.  Whether you are looking for your perfect teammate, trying to build an uplifting community, or simply looking to make some changes in who you are, these insights into the value of a "pause & restart" could make a massive difference in your life. Ready to practice these skills for real?  Try it at www.fit-bar.com

Can you imagine if we NEEDED evidence that we could do something before we tried it?  If babies decided they couldn't talk because they had never talked before?  It sounds ridiculous, but this is exactly what happens when we desire big changes in life.  We say, I've never been in shape before, I've never had a job like that before, I've never run a marathon before.  We use evidence from the past as evidence of what is possible - this is a logically inaccurate and it holds us back. In this episode, Whitney and Jake discuss the places in their own lives where this false logic has shown up and the strategies they've used to defeat it.  Learn how to believe something you've never believed so you can achieve something you've never achieved.  Get connected at www.fit-bar.com

Life is a series of highs and lows and the least amount of time is spent on the peaks or valleys.  The majority is spent either climbing or falling.  This podcast is about those times that show up right after a valley.  How do you start to climb again when the peak seems so far away?  Whitney and Jake discuss their personal experience with that climb out of the valley and the value of being grateful for the lessons - even when you're not grateful for the actual experience. If you enjoy these podcasts, please subscribe and connect with us at fit-bar.com

Social discomfort comes in many shapes and sizes, but can basically be boiled down to the fear of rejection. In this episode, Whitney and Jake dive into the idea that since fear is an emotion & emotions are ONLY caused by thoughts, we can choose thoughts that decrease the fear. Then - we can take specific steps to increase our faith in our own value and set up the perfect storm of social success.  Want to diminish the discomfort you feel in social situations? - this is the episode for you. Connect with us: Fit-Bar

A friend of ours observed, "Whatever is growing in the environment of your life is the evidence of what that environment is best suited to grow." That's why sometimes when we try to change a habit without changing the way we live our life, it's like trying to plant a palm tree in Alaska ...it's just not going to grow. We change the environment of the Earth by contributing it and we change our social environment by contributing to the experience of its members.  In this podcast we offer 3 ways to contribute to your community and allow yourself to "grow something new". Don't forget you bonus material: DOWNLOAD the BONUS And Check Out the Podcast 20 Video for a little different twist Connect with us at: fit-bar.com  

Have you ever been so hungry that the quality of food doesn't matter, just how quickly you can get it?  Us too!!  It's very similar to those seasons of life where we crave connection so bad that we are willing to hang out with anyone we can find ...even if they are not so good for us.  In this episode we discuss strategies for getting back on track and building a community that FUELS YOUR FIRE Still not sure where to start? Get your FREE GUIDE HERE Then connect with us at Fit-Bar.com  

Feeling the need for connection is no more indicative of your value as a person then feeling a need for food, but for some reason we have a tendency to judge ourselves much more harshly for feeling lonely than we do for feeling hungry.  In this episode Jake and Whitney break down three steps to STOP the cycle of "shoulding" all over your desire to have more humans to talk to. This podcast contains references to: Baya Voce, John Cacioppo, and Margaret Manning Click HERE to get connected at Fit-Bar ...and click HERE to like Fit-Bar on Facebook

In this episode, Whitney and I distill information from Olivia Fox Cabane down to 4 keys for increasing your likability.  It is so jam packed with information, that we decided to include a PDF download so we could keep the podcast to 20min. Get your PDF here Find out more about Olivia Fox Cabane here And build you own community at FitBar

If I only worked out when I felt like it, I'd be in big trouble and I'd be frustrated with the result.  The same goes for connecting with people.  If you want an amazing community, you're going to have to prioritize connection even when you don't feel like it.  In this episode we share some insights into how to take action even when you'd prefer to watch a movie alone. Stay in touch:  http://www.fit-bar.com  

Article: Social Relationships and Mortality Risk We all know that what we eat, how active we are, what we expose our body to, and our genetics all play a part in our overall health.   The significance of the role that relationships play in that dynamic is often overlooked.  In this episode, we discuss the findings from a "Meta-Analysis" of 148 different studies on the subject and the insights we can gain from getting all that data in one place.  Spoiler Alert: Community is a BIG DEAL Don't forget to build your own community at www.fit-bar.com