One gamer, one hater, tons of board games - who will win?
This week, we vaguely talk about Chad... ish. Highlights include: - Do you mean Chad the person, or Chad the country? - No offence, but Chad sounds well boring... - How did a country so small have such a massive civil war? - Why isn't there a Tremors board game?
This week, the Sanderson sisters are trying to bewitch the children of Salem, and we're the only ones who can stop them! Basically, they're screwed! Highlights include: - We don't acknowledge the sequel... - Mark is shocked by the idea of the cinema... - How could anybody get it wrong? - Harry doesn't know the difference between orange and yellow... - Jack is a notorious cauldron wrecker... - Honestly, you make one mistake and nobody let's you forget it... - It's NOT a cauldron! - Harry likes it big... - You don't play the box... - Yeah, but is there a graph? - I don't know the website...
This week, I've been shrunk, and must fight for my life to restore myself back to normal size - I hate it when that happens! Highlights include: - Add an extra 20 minutes for bumbling... - I have yet to visit any of the havens... - Is Cragheart my name or my species? - Crater fail!
This week, we're off to The Central African Republic, what do you think? Highlights include: - We begin with a google... - Prepare to take a token from the Hole of Cthulhu... - Nobody got Bijd at the weekend... - It's all about the Mancala... - Anyone for a game of Housewives and Kitchens? - Guys, have you heard of... boxes? - I confuse Mark with pedantry...
This week, we're rival telescopes trying to be the first to find the elusive ninth planet (gutted, Pluto). Highlights include: - We're searching for massive Assteroids... - Asteroids hate to be lonely... - Target shit, get banged... - Research the D! - Ooh, that's a nice Mitch... - Space Cluedo! - There's a lot of suspicious gas clouds in this part of space... - Comets can't be everywhere! - Meteorites aren't even a thing...
This week, we're off to Cambodia! Highlights include: - How do you all store your Legendary? - If the whole of Arkham Horror happened to one person, that would suck... - Man chess is very different to lady chess, apparently... - Temples + Jungles + Rice + Monkeys = Cambodia! - Save the doucs/Kill the doucs - it's up to you! - The Lost Expedition has dinosaurs??? - £14 for delivery from Ireland?? You can literally see it! - Watch out for douche-monkeys...
This week, we're off to Cabo Verde to sample their board game delights... oh, who are we kidding? Highlights include: - A super smooth opening to this one... - Silent games? They're nothing to shout about... - Once again, Mark mentions the famous game of Sub Zero... - I'm basically Cabo Verdean... - How many different ways can Mark say 'Mysthea?'
This week, Burundi gets the Countrybait treatment... ish. Highlights include: - Mark forgets the episodes are numbered... - Any game can be silent if you hate it enough... - My war is more important than your war... - Less than 5 minutes in and Burundi gets ditched... - Risk goes to Mars!
It's a fantasy themed heist as we have to rob stuff and then escape from... a shopping mall? Highlights include: - It's not for girls... - Is 7 the golden number? No! - How do you work out a strategy when you can't discuss it? - What kind of shopping centre is this?? - But... why a shopping centre??? - Everyone's entitled to their opinion, even if it's wrong... - Allow me to classify... - Moo tries to take credit for inventing Spaceteam...
This week, we're apprentice Deaths trying to prove ourselves by killing a load of victims! Highlights include: - The Twilight movies would definitely make you want to die... - Turns out there's loads of pop culture references that I don't know... - If in doubt, what would a bastard do? - Fucking zombies... - The shuffling was particularly bad this week...
This week, we're trying to guess quotes from the Harry Potter movies! Highlights include: - Second time lucky? - Watch out for silly accents! - I keep getting my Rons and my Hermiones mixed up... - McGonagall? Slag! - Stick to the script, yeah? - The most fun thing wasn't actually part of the game... - YES!
A miracle has occurred on Aquaria! But how did it happen? And is the mysterious white light connected to the long lost Eternians?
This week, we have to stop the notorious Bandido from escaping by blocking off all his tunnels! Highlights include: - Oops, I accidentally made three new routes! - Expandido! - Every time, the tactics question catches Mark by surprise... - Why did BGA let Mark ruin the game? - Do we have a new etiquette rule? - What did the cat destroy?
This week we've gone full Autumn as we try to score the most acorns doing Autumnal things! Highlights include: - Accents are at an all time low this week... - To bonus or not to bonus? - Prepare for cuteness overload!
This week we're off to see what's crackalackin' in Burkina Faso! Highlights include: - Same game, different name! - Everyone knows, you can't slide a peg... - Let's play a round of 'Don't Get Pregnant!' - A bit sexual, but not in a cool way... - We don't need THAT in board games!
This week, we're doomed camp counsellors at Crystal Lake - can we find enough supplies to fend off the dreaded Jason Voorhees? Highlights include: - Horror or Terror? - My country list is a total mess... - I do, We do, You do... - Who won, I can't remember? - Why are there so many frying pans? - There wasn't actually much horror... - All Jason wanted was a frying pan... - Everyone looks well old...
The Lost Expedition gets a bit supernatural with zombies and were-beasts! Highlights include: - Fountain Of Youth > Lost City Of El Dorado, surely? - A few zombies never hurt anyone... - Stuck? Just wound the dog! - Is it good to be a Were-beast? - In the apocalypse, nobody cares about gourmet food...
This week we're trading rude sounding cards to avoid being the Dik Dik! Highlights include: - It's Chase the Ace, but with Diks... - Cousins is legal, right? - You could actually play this quite strategically... - Dik Dik takes the bins out!
Bulgaria was so much fun that we stayed an extra week to play Battalia! Highlights include: - We didn't do Brunei dirty... - Stock up on Battle People! - Pegasi? Pegasuses? - It's all Tabletopia's fault...
This week we're off (metaphorically) to Bulgaria! Highlights include: - 31% of Belgians love board games! - Spam alert! - Bet you didn't know that Bridge could solve climate change? - Remember all the real world applications of Gnome Day? - Coming soon - Brian Reynolds: Bridge Infiltrator... - Give me your lettuce! - Does anybody know how to play Magic?
This week, I'm a Greek vampire. Here's my life! Highlights include: - Lonely? I'm not lonely! - Sorry best friend, I choose to forget you... - Never trust Apollo... - I'm like a history buff now, so... - Social mores? Internecine? - Everyone I know is going to die... - Do you want a climax event? - People's lives don't follow the story mountain...
It's time for the Exit Advent Calendar again! This time we're a humble pizza delivery guy caught up in the scandal of the missing Hollywood star - can we find her and work out what the hell is going on?
Just another day in Crime City... As the name would suggest, many a crime has happened, and it's up to us to solve them! Highlights include: - Our first episode from a sofa... - You have to play this game if you want to become a detective... - Watch out for pigeons. And eroticism. - Is it a game though? - One mango mojito and I can't even speak... - Expert mode: play it with the lights off... - There weren't enough sweets... - What are the rules of this world? - We exist in multiple lounges...
This time we're off to Brunei to check out their games. Or not. Highlights include: - It's a whole lot of Christmas and a little bit of Brunei... - Brunei is not where I thought it was... - Jingle All The Way has a sequel - who knew?? - Santa is basically Christmas Postman Pat... - Mark forgets the term for 'play a card.' - More nightmare, less Christmas... - Brunei: Needs a website... - I keep messing up the ending...
This week, we're off to Botswana. Have they got any game? Highlights include: - You can now check us out on Bluesky! - I over Christmas... - Throwing pebbles? Fuck that! - First one to shout 'Malala' wins! - Mark fails to find the actual game called actual Botswana. Actually... - You can find Botswana in America and Japan... but not Botswana...
The crew are reunited just in time to celebrate Gnome Day, but amid the festivities, they discover a new lead in the quest to save Aquaria's polluted waters...
This week, we've discovered a magical (?) land and we're setting off to explore as much as possible! Highlights include: - Congratulations to Sue! - Welcome to the world of Levita Ting... - It's a magical world... now find some apples! - It has over a million combinations, don't you know! - Exactly how fantastical can you get with an apple? - Someone needs to realign the printers...
Strap in for another half hour of prime insults, as the diss track returns!
This week, we have completed our epic Seafall legacy campaign! Highlights include: - Turns out the box told us what would happen all along... - Buying treasure is a dick move... - Turns out we're the bad guys... - Scallywagging for the narrative!!! - We accidentally found hell. Hate it when that happens... - If your men say they saw a demon, you should listen to them... - Maybe it needed more... hell?
This week, we're jetting off to Bosnia and Herzegovina to check out their board game sitch! Highlights include: - Turns out Sir Walter Raleigh was a bit of a douche... - General consensus on El Dorado: it's a no, I'm afraid... - Turns out Mark already explained Chabcha ages ago... - War. Again. - Does Purple Pineapple Games actually exist, or is it some kind of trap?
Famous explorer, Percy Fawcett has gone missing in the jungle (true story) - can we follow in his footsteps and discover the lost city of El Dorado? Highlights include: - Time to explore, FOR YOUR LIFE!!! - It's similar to a deckbuilder, in the sense that it has cards... - Turns out the Bushmaster is not a nice helpful man, it's a huge fucking snake... - Why are insects so positive? - Roy: What a lad! Bessie: Such a pioneer! Isabelle: Oh... - Mark's world is completely rocked by a hinged box...
This week, we're off to Bolivia... Highlights include: - Chabcha... we still don't get it! - Lost Expedition is actually lost... - Mark just gave Postman Pat his own multiverse... - Titicaca will never not be funny... - New, from 'Goods of the Land...' - Llamas don't care about borders...
Team JJP are joined by Harry to play the winner of the 2023 Bristol Chance And Counters Game Jam! Highlights include: - What is the sexiest board game? - We don't give change in this sweet shop... - Get ready for lots of 'bag' innuendos... - Apparently, the game is too mean... - Pick N Fuck Off - No babies, no whiners! - You haven't got enough money... here's a bean! - Is it a sweet or a penis?
This time we're off to Bhutan! It has a cool flag! Highlights include: - Bhutan is home to Chewbacca... - We can count, so we should be able to play Chabcha... - You may only play this game after early dinner... - The men play with dice while the girls throw rocks at each other... - Not war, not exploration, but stumpy little cow things! - Does Tintin have a board game? - Come on guys, don't ride the Takins...
While the rest of the crew were raiding the Crystal Mines, time to find out what happened to Merlin!
This week, we're (metaphorically) headed to Benin, which we didn't even know existed until now! Highlights include: - Why would I want a load of rulebooks for games I don't own? - Well done Benin, you've not really been embroiled in any major wars... - Space? Ocean? Benin! - Hey Alice, OMG where are you?
I catch up with Thatcher to talk all things Witchbound, Dark Doll, and the latest project, Rune Rite!
We're off to Belize! Unbelize-able! Highlights include: - How green are you? - Get ready for some auditory discrimination... - I did not play Jacob And Esau with my drama class... - What is Miss Jennery Jones doing today? - Turns out I can't read Kriol...
This week we're talking about all things Belarus! Highlights include: - 'Belarusian Travelling' is it real? - It sounds like it's more fun to be a boy in Belarus than a girl in Belarus... - Marxists... IN SPACE! - A long time ago in a gallery far, far away...
The crew of the AGA-0 venture into the Crystal Mines to liberate them from Slinger control, all so they can find out about the waste product that's been polluting Aquaria... but where's Merlin?
We're back fighting for territory with giant monsters, this time with The Infiltrator and the Mists of Mogoroth! Highlights include: - Board games are good for cuddles! - Audio Adventures do exist! Mark wasn't hallucinating! - BAHRAIN!!!! - The Infiltrator... basically if Death was a goblin... - Don't get lost in the fog... - Usual manufacturing woes apply...
The crew meet back at The Space Bar after their adventures on Nestes and Colony 9, with new paths opening up as the mysteries of the galaxy unfold. What's more important? Solving the mystery of Aquaria's waters, investigating the destruction of Forgia, or something else entirely?
This week, Jane and I visit Tony Boydell's Museum of Board Games and have a right good time! Highlights include: - Board games basically just make you a better person... - Don't confuse Newent and Newnham... - Prepare for Battle Hats! - If you play the original Booby Trap, you'll legit lose a finger... - There's a surprising amount of parliament games... - Hello dear, fancy a game of Ulcers?
This week we have been mostly talking about Bahrain. Highlights include: - We set a new progress record on Apollo! - Next week, we pretend we're in a house... - Bahrain has a Virgin Megastore. Fact.
This week, Riley joins us as we try and pick definitive games for certain categories - but how to choose? Highlights include: - We are so in synch for Deckbuilding and Worker Placement! - Area Control... where you have to... control... areas? - Someone Uno-Reversed my whatever... - Who's laying all the eggs? - Auction? What?? - Some categories are extremely suspect... - What the hell is an elapsed real time ending?
This week, we're off to The Bahamas! Highlights include: - If you live in The Bahamas, you're not going to be indoors playing board games... - I was expecting pirates... - Taxis aren't exactly Bahamas specific... - There are sheep in The Bahamas... - Game designer, or Footballer? - What has Mark spotted this week?
It's our 6th anniversary! Huzzah! Highlights include: - Audio games - do they actually exist? - Rest assured, Derek Ring is still alive! - Pick N Mix is in the post... - Schrodinger's Cats is a cat game too far... - Mark gets confused between real and imaginary... - How exactly do you say duchy? - We need some listeners from Genovia... - Is Narnia a country?
What wonderful games does Azerbaijan have to offer? Highlights include: - Surely Israel has more important things to do than listen to us... - Mark can't say 'Azerbaijan' - Would you rather play 'Hounds and Jackals' or '58 Holes?' - Mark also can't read numerals... - Backgammon players are held in very high regard... - Hang on, these are all the same wars as Armenia! - Turns out Bali isn't a country...
Trying to solve the pollution problem on Aquaria has led the crew of the AGA-0 to a murdered scientist on Psionus. Now they must face some difficult decisions that will put their morals to the test...
We're off to Armenia to see what their gaming sitch is! Highlights include: - Pigs Vs Dogs... - I'm sure Mark said 'cinnamons' instead of 'synonyms...' - Maybe we won't go to Armenia right now...
Have you heard? The Fairchilds have moved to Derbyshire, and they're the most eligible, marriageable people of the land! Can we lure them to our family estates and show them a jolly good time? Highlights include: - Beware, there's accents... - Hey, I know you just lost your parents, but... wanna bang? - If you don't plan the Village Fair, you don't benefit from it. Fact. - I wasn't good enough to have a ball in the hall... - Do we have ladies? - Everyone's talking about the Cavendish Casino... - Join us on the lawn for Angry Bowls... - Family planning is super important... - Is it Whist, or Lesbian Whist? - A lovely time is have... - One never FRAGs without one's underbutler...