The Men Up Podcast

In the final episode of Season 5, Shaboo and Lamarr put it all on the line... or rather, the guys talk about the discipline needed to maintain some of the most important boundaries in their own lives. After an entire season dedicated to boundaries, we may have more questions than answers (which is exactly where we want to be). Still, if we can give the grace to ourselves and to others, if we are willing to honor each other's boundaries, if we're willing to accept that sometimes we'll get it right while other other times we'll falter, then we're heading in the right direction— together.

After two years, our very first guest returns!Music artist, creative consultant and new father JP Reynolds joins Shaboo and Lamarr to talk boundaries shifting— be it getting back on stage post-pandemic or being in a season of fatherhood. The stakes are high, the joy and laughter is constant, and by the end of this episode you'll be asking more questions than coming to conclusions (and that's a great thing).

Tis the season for coming together with the people we love, giving gifts to friends near and far, and getting those work projects that are lingering in our minds done. There's a lot happening during the holiday season, and we're clear that it's a time that can be challenging for all of us, particularly because it's a time when our boundaries are tested. So sit back, relax, grab a glass of eggnog, and deck the halls with lots of boundaries as Shaboo and Lamarr offer up ten strategies they use during this season (throughout life, really) to share the love and keep the sanity.

Coach Carolyn Sideco is back and bringing her Coaching Kapwa expertise to the pod. We're taking a trip around the wide world of sports to see how so much of our initial understanding of boundaries can be connected to the games we love (and hate). As Coach Carolyn says, “we all have a relationship to sports.” So let's dig in to the “crunchy parts,” explore the boundaries that sports teaches us and how it shapes our American culture— past, present and future.

Just in time for the holiday season, we're joined by co-founder of Men Up, George Black. Now on his path to being a prison chaplain, George stops by to offer us his journey to using boundaries as an act of self-love and the highest form of love for the people and communities we care most about.If you are looking for an extra helping of joy, love and friends actively understanding and maintaining boundaries with one another, then this is the episode (dish?) for you.

Work, work, work, work, work… we are finally focusing on the area of our lives where we spend a lot (maybe too much) of our time n the the third and final episode in this three-parter.“Hi, how' are you… how's work,” is a pretty common refrain when we're meeting people for the first time or reuniting with loved ones after a long time. And too often, we focus so much on work that it defines us and defines our daily interactions. Yet, coming out of an almost three year pandemic, the nature of work has changed, and our work-life balance maybe changed too. What are some of the new challenges we're facing in work boundaries, how do we set our own boundaries, honor other people's boundaries, even model boundary-setting in our work— be it remote, in-person, for ourselves or for our teams/companies?The big three know a little bit about what's working well. and are excited to be learning a whole lot more. LFG.

It's part two and we're getting personal, y'all. As we continue to focus on boundaries, we turn to the relationships that often matter most to us: our friends, family members, and significant others. While so much of understanding our boundaries, and honoring those of our loved ones, can often feel like a “trial and error” process, Shaboo, Will and Lamarr open up about some of the wisdom they've gained over the years in setting and honoring these boundaries, and where growth is still necessary. Not gonna lie, even though the guys know each other real well (and you know them a bit too), we're left a bit surprised by what this episode revealed.LFG.

Season five is here! And, in reflecting over the last several season, the big three have gotten clear on the next frontier of the conversations needed— understanding and honoring boundaries. So we're focusing the first three episodes of the season deep diving on how we understand and keep boundaries in our social, personal, and professional lives.In this episode, we're focusing on boundaries at the societal level. How do we even come to understand boundaries in life and where do we first understand them? And why is it so necessary to understand boundaries now in our world and communities that, at times, seem to be getting more divided? Are we creating walls or boundaries, and what's the difference?Shaboo, Will and Lamarr are here to get clear on boundaries. Join the convo and start the convo in your communities. LFG.

The final episode of season four and the guys are coming in hot—more direct and urgent than ever before. Taking the example of the lies spread related to Critical Race Theory, Shaboo, Will and Lamarr strategize on how we might confront the falsehoods we've allowed in our society to oppress so many people. Unsurprisingly, the work starts within each one of us to unlearn, and the Big three share some of their stories of unlearning, and how and why this is some of the most necessary and urgent work we can do for all of us to thrive.

The team is joined by music industry executive Perry Bashkoff to talk leadership and mentorship throughout two decades in the industry, as well as investing in causes and people beyond our 9-5s. For Perry that's over a decade of focusing on men's health awareness through Movember; for Will and Shaboo, that's continuing years of friendship through running and friendly competition (well, in their adult years it's friendly). This episode is sure to offer inspiration by association and timely levels ups—like it did for the guys.

The big three are back together and digging into one of the more controversial topics of the day— transgender athletes and where/how they compete. But is there really even a controversy? Or is this argument, often framed around “fairness,” really about who wins, who loses, and what that says about outdated ideas of identity? The team focuses on the recent spotlight on collegiate swimmer Lia Thomas and considers what it might be to create spaces in sports that are less about competition and more about inclusivity and a more profound notion of what is truly fair. Research for this episode: People Online Feb 2022ESPN Feb 2022NCAA Jan 2022

The crew is joined by founder of Larnell Vickers Enterprises and expert career coach Larnell Vickers to discuss the complexities of “The Great Resignation.” While the uncertain times post-pandemic have left a lot of us feeling out of balance, and asking “what's next” for our careers, Larnell offers some expert advice on leading with your purpose and mission, both jobseekers and companies alike, and creating the space in our lives to lead and be led.Be sure to check out Career Day for the Soul and Larnell Vickers Enterprises.

The guys are joined by creative entrepreneur and founder of Halucinated Design and Support Creativity, Steve Ortiz Lucin. Not only does Steve inspire us with his fuel for creativity, mentorship and access to both, he digs in deep with Will and Shaboo, turning the mics on the team, to talk about why the awkwardness of these conversations on manhood and masculinity let us know that it is the perfect time to redefine.Check out Steve's work at stevelucin.com and take the personal vision challenge described in this episode!

The big three are back together and they're digging deep into the “manosphere.” What the heck is that? Whether it's dating types from pick-up artists, commentary from incels, or podcasts/shows that preach aspiring to be a “high value men,” groups like these make up the manosphere and are the epitome of toxic manhood and masculinity. It's about time Shaboo, Will and Lamarr create the space to confront this.

The Men Up crew is joined by Emmy award-winner and creator of the series Date While You Wait, Thomas C. Knox. As the Connection Curator, Thomas offers some powerful keys to forming and maintaining relationships—romantically, personally, and beyond. Whether it's having the courage to ask the questions we may not like the answers to, leading with the value we can add to other people's lives/projects (rather than seeking the value), or staying inquisitive, your relationships are definitely gonna level up after listening. Be sure to check out Date While You Wait and connect with Thomas @theconnectioncurator.

The guys are joined by Convener and Founder of Coaching Kapwa, Coach Carolyn Sideco. With Carolyn's decades of experience in athletics administration and transformation, her, Lamarr, and Shaboo talk about the need to move beyond wins, loses and competition to get to the real value of sports. This episode is literally a game-changer for Men Up (and hopefully for you, too). Check out the amazing work that Carolyn is bringing to the world through Coaching Kapwa.

The guys are joined by Life Coach and Founder of The Black Obsidian Men's Group—Eric Rey. Whether it's digging into his work offering spaces for healing from the isolation of the pandemic and patriarchy broadly, or peeling back the complex layers of the slap heard around the Oscars, you're sure to be elevated by the rays of light Eric offers throughout. There's even some gems hidden behind the clouds of a year's worth of sunrises and in the holding of hands (trust us, you're gonna want to listen to the very end). Check out Eric's work with The Black Obsidian Men's Group and One Village Healing.

In the first episode of season 4, we go right to the heart of things—what to do when relationships end. Drawing on the very public example of Kanye's reactions to his divorce with Kim, and the very personal examples of break ups past and present, Shaboo, Will and Lamarr get clear on the need for staying grounded in community, values and empathy during a time of crisis and change— making the difference between being on the path to healing or suffering.

It's become an annual tradition for the guys to take the final episode of the season to reflect on the learnings from the last year to build momentum for the coming year's level up. So join Shaboo, Will and Lamarr as they reflect on the following questions, and join in the level up for 2022. And, if you're interested in getting to the next level before the new year, check out Lamarr's Intention 2022 experience. *****What cultural moment will define 2021 for you and whyWhat personal moment will define 2021 for you and whyWhat did you appreciate most about season 3 of The Men Up Podcast and why?What is one idea related to manhood/masculinity that has evolved for you in season 3 and what inspired that evolution? What is one way you're excited to grow in the next year?

Shaboo and Lamarr are joined by media commentator and creative storyteller Chet Kincaid. Growing up in the Bahamas, Chet details his coming of age and understanding of his own masculinity and sexuality in a world that too often offers confusing and contradictory messages of what it means to be a man. Check out Chet's amazing work at That Grape Juice and The Kincaid Journal.

Shaboo and Lamarr are joined by Director/Actor Dexter Singleton of Collective Consciousness Theatre. As the guys dig into, and get inspired by, Dexter's path to national success on the stage, a few things become clear— that being present in any moment and centered in our values is transformative for the people around us and can break the generational cycles of harm and toxicity that have come before us.Be sure to connect with and stay up to date on Dexter's work at Collective Consciousness and at TheatreSquared.

It's the holiday season, and that can one of many things— complex conversations with people we care about! Shaboo, Will and Lamarr decided to dig into sexuality and masculinity, how they intersect, and how they've navigated the path to being less judgmental, more vulnerable, and more in-tune with themselves and the world around them.They guys always note that they are not experts, and with this episode they leaned on this article: Why ‘Mostly Straight' Men Are a Distinct Sexual Identity

In the third and final episode in the PodShop series, Shaboo, Matt and John get clear on how ideas of manhood and masculinity manifest in words and actions in their daily lives, often around definitions of what it means to “be strong” and “be productive.” After this three -part series, the guys are ready to get into action in new ways and make a change—are you?Be sure to visit themenup.com to get access to printable versions of the Call to Action and other exercises in the PodShops series.

John and Matt are back with Shaboo for part 2 of this three-part workshop series as we take our newly surfaced awareness of disempowering ideas of manhood and masculinity and start to get clear on the adjustments we want to make and why. Whether it's shifting ideas of performed strength or creating more space to be less productive, the guys invite everyone into the process of redefining what it means to be a man on a very personal level.Be sure to visit themenup.com to get access to printable versions of the Adjustment Statement and other exercises in the PodShops series.

We're trying something brand new in season 3 of The Men Up Podcast— PodShops!We're bringing some of the most powerful elements of our in-person workshops to the audio experience in what could be the first of it's kind interactive podcast episodes (or at least it's new to us).Joining Shaboo for the first PodShop are Men Up Team leaders Matt and John as they focus on the foundational work of building awareness to the words, actions and images from the world around us that form our ideas on manhood and masculinity.Be sure to visit themenup.com to get access to printable versions of the Awareness Inventory and other exercises in the PodShops series.

The Big Three are back and digging into all the ways that men take up space — physically, verbally, emotionally, and everywhere in-between. Both in their personal lives and professional responsibilities, Shaboo, Will and Lamarr confront some of the ways they've adjusted to allow space for others to thrive, and where they still need to move and get out of the way. Why is this a topic the team has revisited every season? Because it's one of the most tangible places we can all, particularly men, make change — today.

It is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and Shaboo, Will, and Lamarr are joined by Actor / Author / Speaker April Hernandez-Castillo to help us demystify the connections between sexual misconduct/abuse and ideas of power often connected to masculinity. Whether it's in Hollywood or in the home, we get clear on just how challenging the cycles of fear and silence related to intimate partner abuse can be. And with April's help, we see a path forward to confronting fear, setting boundaries, and speaking up. Be sure to check out April's memoir Embracing Me and follow her work @aprillhernandez.

Shaboo and Will are joined by one of New Haven's finest and Co-founder of Men Up—George Black. As a Venture Manager with COLLAB (a business accelerator organization), a soon-to-be chaplain, and as a youth worker for over ten years, George's passion are at the intersection of understanding and shifting how patriarchy, faith, and business feed off one another and do not ultimately serve the majority of us…even when the systems are supposedly built for us.Be sure to check out George and the rest of the COLLAB's team incredible work.

Lamarr and Shaboo are joined by dating coach extraordinaire and podcaster Lily Womble as they dig into how some long-standing ideas of manhood and masculinity hold all of us back in finding fulfilling, loving relationships. And, the team offers up some practical shifts towards choice and courage within our conversations on the relationships we want and need.Be sure to check out Lily's incredible work at Date Brazen and The Date Brazen Podcast.. and follow @datebrazen.

We're kicking off season 3 with the Big Three asking the essential question of the season - what is toxic masculinity? And, with new segments like “Walking the Talk,” where Shaboo details his struggles with the need to express needs and how that's been tied to “being the man of the house,” we're starting this season getting uncomfortable and confrontational (in a good way), which is exactly where we need to be if we, all of us, are going to level up.

In the Season 2 finale, Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr look at the responsibility of being a “neighbor,” and how we need to grow in this role if we're serious about the personal and communal change we see for the opening world ahead. Then, the guys reflect on the level ups they're taking with them from this season.Ultimately, it's not about "returning" to normal, but creating a new, more equitable, just and joyful normal for ourselves and our communities to thrive. Let's go! Season 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

We're coming to the end of Season 2, and it felt necessary for us to take a step back from this moment, look at the big picture, and ask the question: what impact has Men Up had? After six years of work and gradual build, we turned the microphones towards the young people of the Men Up community to hear what they've learned and what they see as our greatest contributions. Matt Feliciano and Lui Perez, once students in workshops and summits, are now leaders in Men Up, and their vision for our future, and the work they've done past + present, will surely get you inspired.Season 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

It's time to celebrate and elevate the people who have shown themselves to be the most valuable people in our lives— moms. Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr are taking this episode to focus on the women that have raised them into the men we are grateful to be (and continue to grow into).Whether it's the moms who raised us from birth, the partners as mothers, or the motherly figures in our communities, we encourage y'all to following along with the questions that are guiding our recognition of the Real MVPs. Complete the sentence: to me, my mom is...
In what way(s) are you similar, and in what ways are you different, from your mom that you appreciate? 
What is one thing your mom taught or showed you that has shaped the man you are and hope to be?
What is something that you want to apologize to your mom for? 
What is a question you've always wanted to ask your mom (and haven't yet)? Now go ask it!Season 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

Over the last year, some of the most vital leadership we experienced in surviving multiple crises came from women. These women, be it on the local or national level, showed us a leadership that is founded in transparency, accountability, empathy, hope and boldness. But, hasn't this all too often been true?Shaboo, Will and Lamarr take a step back to identify what we've learned from women about leadership, how it's influenced our own leadership, and what it will take for women to have the space to lead us all in the ways we need , if we're going to make progress coming out of this pandemic. The Outlet Pass:6 Ways Men Dominate the Spaces Around Them - Jamie UttSeason 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

In the final installment of this three-parter on accountability, Shaboo, Will and Lamarr zoom out to look at who's being held accountable, how and why they need to be held accountable, and what it takes to recover from the injustices that are accounted for. As we begin moving beyond this pandemic, searching for normalcy and peace, we must seek justice— and that justice must be built upon accountability. Join us in the level up on the personal, local and societal levels. The Outlet Pass:The More Act (H.R. 3884)The long and tortured history of Cancel Culture by Ligaya MishanWhy we can't stop fighting about cancel culture by Aja RomanoSeason 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

In this episode, part two of a three-part miniseries on accountability, Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr start moving beyond the personal and into the communal. Drawing from recent public examples of a lack of accountability, the guys begin to uncover the challenges with holding others accountable: a lack of shared truth and values, a lack of common decency, a lack of shared humanity, and a lack of clarity on who's accountable to who and why. Can we move forward? Yes, but only if we move past “cancel culture” and other distractions to focus on regaining a clear sense of truth and shared commitment to one another. These are the building blocks of accountability… let's get to work.Season two of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

We're halfway through Season 2 and we've decided to dig deeper and get more uncomfortable — we're talking about accountability. In part one of this three-part journey, we're focusing on personal accountability: when we first experienced and learned what it means to be accountable, what it means for the young people we role model for, and why it's so damn difficult to be consistent with personal accountability when we know what we need to do. This pandemic has revealed many things, one of which is we must hold leaders and our community members accountable for their words, actions, and intentions. And Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr know, this work starts within.The Outlet Pass:8 Ways to stay Accountable - Entrepreneur MagazineManning Emergency PreparednessSeason 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

Our first guest of season 2 (and ever)! Lamarr and Shaboo talk to independent artist and podcaster JP Reynolds as he takes us through the winding path of his career and this last year. What are the pivots we make in the most challenging times to not just survive the moment but thrive in maintaining our values and feeding our soul? This is the question at the heart of JP's journey and our conversation with the artist Lamarr and Shaboo promise “is the greatest live performer we've ever seen!”JP's Outlet Pass:The Go GiverThe Eternal Boombox - JuJu ExchangePrism - KAIRAStir Crazy

Those three words that can matter more than most— “I am sorry.” What makes for a powerful apology? In what ways do we misuse and overuse it? And do we, as men, hold other men to the same standards of apologies? The guys reflect on what we've learned during this time of insecurity, stress, fatigue, and social unrest to reveal the apologies that need to be given, and received, and how to do both well. The Outlet Pass:5 Languages of Apologies QuizI'm Sorry: How to Apologize and Why it MattersSeason 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

Have we reached the breaking point in normalizing a necessary conversation— guys seeking therapy and counseling? A year into the pandemic, Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr are finally getting real about their relationships and level of commitment to mental health help. What's held us back from fully embracing therapy, and what are we going to do now that we've all experienced a pandemic and must deal with the subsequent mental health crisis for ourselves and our communities? You don't need to get on the metaphorical couch to get some new insights from this episode. The Outlet Pass:Better HelpTalkspaceMovemberJenny Wang, PhDTheYouBookSeason 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

One year. Over five hundred thousands deaths due to Covid-19. And for many of us, including our team, we've been met by death in unexpected ways. This pandemic has brought about a collective grief and mourning unlike anything we've experienced in generations. So, what are we learning about death, grieving, and honoring legacy that will allow us to do the individual and collective healing we need? Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr are moving through the loss, looking for the level up, and invite y'all in.The Outlet Pass:Writing Goodbye LettersSeason 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

We're starting season two by going farther than we ever have before… into fatherhood. It has officially been one year since we began parenting in a pandemic, and it's got us thinking— what can we take with us from this time to level up our day-to-day parenting and create new possibilities in fatherhood? The Outlet Pass:#DadicationAfroDaddyLamarr's first-time fathering listSeason 2 of The Men Up Podcast is sponsored by Chip in a Bottle.

We made it! With a little over a week left until we welcome in the New Year, Season One of the Men Up Pod is coming to a close. We laughed, cried, grew, have been tested, succeeded, failed and much more. Join us as we reflect on the greatest lessons from an unforgettable year with the inaugural Starting Five.

We know it's necessary for all of us to have “a crew”-an inner circle of friends, family members or collaborators to support and push us to be great. But how do we find that crew, and do they ever actually come together as a team? Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr reflect on their own crews in life, the origins of the Men Up Pod Team, and answer the age-old question: “But, wait, who's Raphael on this team?” The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:Unlocking Us PodcastParker's “The Art of Gathering”Michael Schur Interview - The RingerThe Men Up

It all seemed so simple when Tom and Donna from Parks & Rec did it, however as Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr dig in, and get beyond the scoops of ice cream and the binge-worthy shows, they find just how challenging “treat yo self” can be, and just how necessary it is to our well-being. In the end, it's a journey (that may end with a camper parked on a town green). The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:Day One AppScotch PorterHappy Money

It's one of the simplest yet most profound sentences to say—those three words that so clearly convey joy, gratitude, and care. Yet, too often, the Men Up Pod guys have found that it's hard for guys to tell each other “I love you.” So during this season of love, join the guys as they dig deep to uncover what it took to get comfortable with love and what got in the way of saying how they felt.The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:The Mood Meter AppRichard F Jaramillo's “Why can't men say…”Mariellen Brown on YouTube

This holiday season is unlike any we've faced, which is why the Men Up team is digging deep into something that's often uncomfortable— forgiveness. Maybe it's for loved ones, maybe it's for ourselves, maybe it's for something we did five minutes ago, and maybe it's something gone unresolved for decades, but now is the perfect time to show gratitude and give forgiveness…So make a space next to the stuffing, potatoes and pie because we're servin' it up!The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:Passion PlannerRed Table TalkLerner's “Why Won't You Apologize…”Forgiveness Institute

The holiday season is here, and for many of us, this year will be so different because we won't have what we need most (no, not pumpkin pie…yum)—the opportunity to maintain and cultivate relationships in-person. Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr reflect on what they've learned throughout the pandemic about maintaining and cultivating relationships, where they've shined and struggled, and how we can all move forward to honor the people we need and the mental health we desire.The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:Article - “Why is Checking in so Important?”Article - “The Seven Types of Friends All Men Should Have.”Marco Polo AppLandmark

Fat kid complex, adult acne, hair loss, man boobs, getting soft in our old age— these are just a few of the fears the Men Up Pod team carries and brings to the conversation. Be it the societal taboo nature of talking about men's bodies (like “man nipples” and “man boobs,” have you ever heard those on a pod?!) and the frequent jokes and jabs we give and receive about our bodies, a lack of a healthy body image stops us from living balanced, healthy lives. So let's and build ourselves and each other up by seeing and speaking a healthier image of our bodies. The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:Deck of Cards WorkoutBrown's The Gifts of ImperfectionInsider's Impact of Social on our Body Image

Can you find your physical peak as you get older? What even is your physical peak and why does it matter? Shaboo, Drew, Will and Lamarr step back to see where they are on their journeys to thriving physically, how it's changed with age, and why it's vital to always find new peaks.The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:The Lost BreedCoach ChetIntermittent FastingYoga Studio by GaiamBalance

“Health is Wealth” is a common phrase nowadays, and yet, so many of us, particularly men, aren't investing as if that's true. Shaboo, Will, Lamarr and Drew get real about what gets in the way of committing to the little actions that can create big, healthy returns for our present and future well-being. Whether it's living long, active lives, looking sexy, or any other motivation, the time to commit to our wellness wealth is now.The Outlet Pass Shoutouts:WeRun313Nike Training AppWoke on HuluMurakami's “…Talk About Running”Sunwarrior Vegan Protein Powder