the story of the accidental manager by noodle

You've got the promotion and you go out to celebrate with your team, who are also your friends.  But on Monday you'll be managing them.  How does it change what happens when you're out socialising?  Are you still 'one of the gang' or should you step aside now? How do they see you - and how do you see yourself?  And if you're responsible for organising social events for work it can be fraught with difficulty.  How do you please everyone?  Can people opt in or out without feeling judged or excluded? How much are people obliged to attend, spending their own time and money on something work-related but outside work hours? We give tried and tested advice so you don't need to suffer the hangovers of getting it seriously wrong.Find out more about how to handle the responsibility of helping employees have a good time, hopefully without next-day regrets at www.theaccidentalmanager.com. That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles which help you to manage yourself and others to have the best day at work you can possibly have.FINAL NOTE: This is the last of our podcasts - 2 series over 2 years of sharing, confessing and celebrating our accidental successes, failures, odd and crazy experiences.  Thank you so much for being part of our journey!    Kate & Max 

You need to get your team to 'make the boat go faster'*… so you create a route map to help them see where they're going (and agree that they're on board) and how you're all going to get there. BUT SUDDENLY … a police boat draws alongside and stops you - you've got to change course immediately - how do you keep the crew motivated?  What if your route map has so many details nobody's is focused on the end destination?  Or there's too little information?  Or everyone's focused on a different part of the map and going off in different directions?  When the journey's over, do you ever TRULY look back at the route map and reflect on what was learned along the way - or are you too excited about the end-of-project party (!) and what's coming up next to do the 'retroflection'? Find out more about how to spend the right amount of attention on the past, present and future when engaging the people around you at www.theaccidentalmanager.com. That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles which help you to manage yourself and others to have the best day at work you can possibly have.*The book we reference in this episode is Will It Make The Boat Go Faster by Olympic gold medal winner Ben Hunt-Davis and executive coach Harriet Beveridge.Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space. 

Have you ever worked with people who you rate but others find them a bit, well - difficult?!  Kate & Max remember managers they know who have struggled when taking on underperformers. If their view comes out of the blue, they might be considered to be bullying, downright mean or just plain wrong.  So how do you share what needs to be said with courageous kindness so that everyone ends up hearing and able to act on the feedback?  How do you decide as a manager if the gap between what's happening and your expectation is down to personality difference?  Is it actually kinder to say something, or nothing?Find out more about the qualities and environment involved in showing true courageous kindness at www.theaccidentalmanager.com. That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Johari Window, Appreciative Enquiry and Framing - all of which help you to prepare for and consider feedback that's difficult to share or hear.Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space. 

Let's be honest, drama in the workplace can sometimes be fun - who hasn't had a bit of a whinge about how hard done by they are, or jumped in to the rescue (cue blasting trumpets!) or even, perhaps, created a bit of drama themselves?!  Kate & Max discuss the roles played out in the drama triangle, how they can rotate and when drama might be a distraction to avoid the real issues that are too hard to address head on.  How do you notice the drama if you're in it?  And what can you choose to do about it - whether it's your drama or not?  Find out if it's you or them - or something else that's going on - and how to get out of the pattern in order for effective work to happen.Find out more about how to deal with the drama triangle  at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Drama Triangle, Conflict types and Boundaries - all of which help you to notice and disrupt unhelpful patterns in working relationships.  The book we mention in this episode are Eric Berne - Games People Play, and the models are the Drama Triangle by Stephen Karpman and the Empowerment Dynamic by David Emerald and Donna Zajonc.Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

Being at our best isn't easy, and sometimes we are battling with thoughts and feelings that no-one else knows about.  Kate & Max share stories about when they have successfully sabotaged themselves and how to make the most of those moments.  What situations do you find difficult or challenging, and what's the conversation inside your head really telling you about it? How can you find the important information in those thoughts, and then take back control? Being able to hear your self-talk and having tools and techniques to help means that when these things happen, you are able to have a word with yourself and keep moving forwards.Find out more about how to squash those unhelpful thoughts  at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Inner Critic , Johari Window, Twisted Thinking, Authority, Presence & Impact, and Energy Investment Model - all of which help you to hear yourself, find the helpful truth and do your best work.  The books we mention in this episode are Susan Jeffers' Feel the fear and do it anyway, and Barbara Sher's I could do anything if only I knew what it was. Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

We all have a sense of how different each place we've worked in feels and how that supports us in our daily work – but how can you influence it? Kate & Max share stories of good environments and examples of when things are definitely not going in the right direction.  When should you pay attention to your team climate? How would you know if it's working or not? Whilst it can be difficult to nail down, understanding what makes your environment a great place to be and to work is an essential part of managing and leading others successfully. Find out more about how to understand what's going on, what's important to your people and shaping a great team culture at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Values, Accountability Ladder, Trust equation, Change Type, Engagement Staircase and Unwritten Ground Rules - all of which help you to be able to influence what it's like to work here.  The concept we mention in this episode - unwritten ground rules - can be explored further at www.ugrs.net.Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

Building a team around you that is inclusive and diverse means you have more opportunity for unexpected positive outcomes.  Kate & Max talk about the importance of making good connections, intentionally looking for difference and watching out for bias and group-think.  How might we inadvertently limit what's possible, or accidentally exclude people we should really want to have on board? What twists are in your thinking that might not help you? Knowing what you need to watch out for means you have much more confidence that you can create a great team environment that everyone wants to be a part of. Find out more about how to build diverse and inclusive teams at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Perceptual Positions, Capability in Teams, Delegating Decisions, 6 hats, Twisted Thinking and Perceived Weirdness - all of which help you to build a team that is broad in experience, contribution and capability.  The book we mention in this episode is Daniel Kahneman's Thinking, Fast & Slow. Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

Working relationships are fundamental to having a happy and successful working life.  Of the people we know and work with today, we never know who might be a significant connection and catalyst in our future.  Kate & Max explore the ups and downs of relationships at work, unexpected opportunities, feeling disgruntled and ending relationships.   How do you handle getting promoted when you were one of the gang, or maybe someone else gets the job and you are left smarting? What's important about leaving a job when you have had enough and it's time to go? Holding your integrity and navigating your situation with grace will stand you in good stead.  Find out more about how to build and maintain trusted relationships at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Transforming Relationships, Drama Triangle, & Trust Equation - all of which help you know what to do, and how to manage your interaction with others to be the kind of person other people want to work with and stay connected to. The books we mention in this episode are insert. Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

How much effort do you put into growing and maintaining relationships in your job?  Who might you have forgotten about that could be key to your future success?  In this episode Kate & Max consider the importance of keeping an eye on not just your immediate network, but considering their network.  And how senior does someone need to be before you feel it's inappropriate to ask how they are?!  Find out top tips for great mentor/mentee relationships and why having a friend at work is crucial for success – yours and theirs. Find out more about how to communicate beyond your immediate network at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles on networking, influencing and communicating - all of which help you get feel confident that your eco-system is healthy and thriving.  The theory we mention in this episode is FIRO by William Schutz, which describes how human beings all required inclusion, control and affection to a greater or lesser degree. Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

Disappointment comes in many unwelcome flavours and in this episode Kate & Max explore how to examine what it tells us.  Is it time to make a move?  Get angry?  Or finally address the person or situation that is pulling you into a pit of despair?!  How long is long enough to sit with the pain of disappointment before you deal with it – hopefully in a productive way – and feel confident enough to take the necessary next steps?  Find out more about how to embrace disappointment for the lessons it delivers at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Perceptual Positions, Circles of Influence, Learned Optimism and Giving Feedback - all of which help you get the strength to leave the ‘pity party'.  The book we mention in this episode is Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen. Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space. #leadership, #feedback, #disappointment, #responsibility

We often have to make decisions without having all the information we need to feel comfortable about what the outcome is likely to be (think: Covid vaccine).  But when people are looking to you to step up and lead, how do you make sure you're on the front foot, not the back foot?  How dangerous might your best guess be, really?  Kate & Max discuss decision making porridge – when is it juuuuust right to go ahead and course-correct later if you need to?  Chances are you get better with confidence, which takes practice.   Find out more about how to make the best decisions at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Delegating Decisions, Reframe, Change Types, Narrative 4mat, 6 hats and Simple Rules - all of which help you feel like you're in the Goldilocks sweet spot when it comes to making decisions. The books we mention in this episode are Joan C Williams' Bias Interrupted and David Rock's Your Brain At Work. Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

Is it ever ok to tell a lie?  What's the difference between giving the impression you're confident you can do something and lying to yourself - or others - that you're fine when, in reality, you're not actually coping?  What happens when you become part of a lie you can't get out of?  And is it a lie to tell someone you believe they can do something when actually neither of you knows for sure? In this episode Kate and Max consider the importance of having psychological safety both in the work space and at an internal, individual level to give room for trying things out that don't have to be right first time.  They also talk honestly about times when they wish they'd tackled self-deception or lies from others, sooner.Find out more at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Perceptual Positions, Delegating Decisions and the Reframe - all of which help you consider how to operate with integrity even in complex situations.The concept of ‘acting as if' that we mention in this episode is described by the psychologist and author Amy Cuddy in her TED talk Your body language may shape who you are.  And the 'safe emergencies' we mention come from Gestalt theory. Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

Why is there nearly always a gap between the job that was sold to you and what you ended up doing (and why might there be post-interview surprises about you, too)?  Kate & Max explore the gap between perspectives and reality and share stories of when truth telling has been unwelcome, unbelievable, unheard and unshareable.  This episode is for you if you're ever asked to share your opinion about someone you work with - or if you ever wonder what  people might be saying about you when you're not in the room. Find out more about how to maximise your reputation for truth-telling at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles Trust Equation, Authority-Presence-Impact and the Energy Investment Model - all of which help you handle the truth with the sensitivity often required by people leaders. The book we mention in this episode is Margaret Heffernan's Wilful Blindness which explains why addressing the truth can be surprisingly complex even for the most trustworthy, integrity-filled people.Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

You can't make sense if you don't take a breath occasionally.  Without space, music would be unpleasant to listen to.  Without time to reflect, people can't get their thoughts straight, decisions are rushed and potentially disastrous.  Kate & Max share tips on the power of pausing and how to do it well in a conversation, a meeting, during a regular day or even to avoid burnout.  Find out more about ways to take meaningful pauses at theaccidentalmanager .  That's where you'll find the 5-minute noodles  Breathe, APPLE, 6 hats, 1-2-4-all, Preparing to Give Feedback, Type of Change, Johari Window and Anchors. The book we mention in this episode is Nancy Kline's Time To Think which  suggests steps to take so people and teams can really get everything out on the table.  We also acknowledge Austrian neurologist, psychologist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl who is attributed to have said: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

Reckon you can multi-task?  Sorry to break it to you - but you're probably wrong.  Even if you do have to multi-task because you're so, so busy, in this episode Max & Kate share the science that shows you're not nearly as effective as you think (or hope) you are.  Plus, how annoying is it when people don't pay you the attention you deserve because they're distracted?!   Learn the top tips to make meetings interesting to 1) get participants' full focus and 2) deal with the people that can't/won't.Find out more about API (authority-presence-impact), Trust Equation, 4 levels of listening, Big Rocks, Simple Rules - all of which are 5-minute noodles - at theaccidentalmanager .  Books we mention in this episode are Will there be donuts? by David Pearl which ensures people are 'really meeting, not nearly meeting', and David Rock's Your Brain At Work which gives the data behind what's going on with your brain when you're multi-tasking.Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us for daily snippets to boost your day on Instagram @noodle_space.

You are a fascinating, unique blueprint of a human being.  But do you know exactly how you impact the world?  In this episode Max & Kate talk about people's superpowers that might be hidden, underplayed or overplayed (when good becomes evil).  And which are the go-to supermodels of behaviour, coaching and communication that help people to do their very best work?  This is the last episode of this series and we have an invitation: we'd love to hear about your superpowers and supermodels for Series 2.  Please contact us at noodle.space to share with our crew.Find out more about 4mat, Big Rocks, Framing, dealing with inner saboteurs and finding your Life Purpose Statement - all of which are 5-minute noodles - at theaccidentalmanager .  Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us on Instagram @noodle_space for regular snippets to boost your day.

What gets you motivated to do your best work?  And what's THE best way to switch you off?! In this episode Kate and Max reflect on the ways they've seen managers engage others  (sometimes involving ice-cream) and what's been done to accidentally exclude people, making team bonding impossible.  Learn the lessons that will help you get to that Goldilocks sweet spot of juuuuust-right measures for recognising and rewarding successfully.You can find out more  about the delegation dance, capability in teams, the engagement staircase and SCARF - all of which are 5-minute noodles - at theaccidentalmanager .  Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us on Instagram @noodle_space for regular snippets to boost your day.

Are you proud of what you've done or said today?  Integrity comes in different shapes and sizes, as Kate and Max remind each other, sometimes with toe-curling consequences.  When is it right to speak up, walk out, stand by or (gulp!) apologise?  And would you do the same again or something different if you could?Find out more  about perceptual positions, conflict modes and the drama triangle - all of which are 5-minute noodles - at theaccidentalmanager .  Bonus - that's also where you'll see the video of these podcasts, including a picture of Kate's gravity-defying 80's hairdo mentioned in this episode.Join the chat at noodle.space and follow us on Instagram @noodle_space for regular snippets to boost your day.

Slightly less cheerful than usual, in this episode Kate and Max talk about what they've learned from 'ugly' times: bereavement (Kate), being in the wrong job (Max), tears, burnout and the bravery of sharing a story without a happy ending - yet.  Sometimes the greatest lessons are from the deepest, darkest experiences.   (Warning: there are TWO swear words in this episode!) Join the conversation with your own advice to others about what you've learned by accident that could help others in their career at www.noodle.space by using the chat box on the home page.  What you know is definitely going to inspire someone else!Find out more at noodle.space or sign up for inspirational 5-minute noodles on theaccidentalmanager.  And join our crew on Instagram @noodle_space for regular snippets to boost your day.

It's rare in the 21st century to find anyone whose career follows the path they imagined it would when they set out in the world of work.  Kate and Max discuss their own and others' career zigzags, spirals and wiggles - and the occasional cliff - and pinpoint the ONE thing you need to know if you're going to make the leap. Join the conversation with your own advice to others about what you've learned by accident that could help others in their career at www.noodle.space by using the chat box on the home page.  What you know is definitely going to inspire someone else!In this episode we reference Spencer Johnson's Who Moved My Cheese?Find out more at noodle.space or sign up for inspirational 5-minute noodles on theaccidentalmanager.  And join our crew on Instagram @noodle_space for regular snippets to boost your day.

Of course we want to dismiss the views of those annoying people who challenge us.  Nobody has time to deal with that negativity, right?  Wrong.  Kate and Max remember times when bad things have happened from ignoring that old elephant in the room, and share tips and tricks for making sure everyone safely gets to have a say - no matter how much they disagree with your brilliant ideas. In this episode we explore Edward de Bono's 6 thinking hats method and another of our favourite liberating structures, 1-2-4-all.Find out more at noodle.space or sign up for inspirational 5-minute noodles on theaccidentalmanager.  And join our crew on Instagram @noodle_space for regular snippets to boost your day.

Who's in your crew that can help you get unstuck when things feel difficult?  Kate & Max talk about who - and what - lightens up potentially sticky interactions for them.  Cake & coffee are a must but also connectors, coaches, cheerleaders and champions.  What do you do for yourself and what do you do for others to rekindle motivation?Find more tips for being your most effective self @noodle_space and www.theaccidentalmanager.co.uk

Even the most uncreative people can create authentic, effective work when they have a template to start from.  Kate and Max remember the foundations that have underpinned their experiences - those repeatable, tweakable units and sequences that make good use of time and result in outcomes to be proud of.In this episode we reference the brilliant liberating structures created by McCandless & Lipmanowicz and the 4mat System by Bernice McCarthy.Find out more at noodle.space or sign up for inspirational 5-minute noodles on theaccidentalmanager.  And join our crew on Instagram @noodle_space for regular snippets to boost your day.

What's the worst that can happen - and what's the best?! Kate & Max talk about the scariest and most unusual things they've said 'yes' to, and what colour to wear when getting right out of your comfort zone. Plus, interesting alternatives to pushing your boss down the stairs.If you like what you hear there's plenty more to be found at noodle.space.PS: We reference 'Feel the fear & do it anyway' which is by Susan Jeffers, and our easy-to-digest noodles on Johari Window & other helpful insight-raisers and confidence-boosters are on theaccidentalmanager.co.uk. 

If you've ever had the 'Sunday night dreads' you'll know there's something not right about how you're working.  But when should you act on that feeling and when should you ignore it?  Kate & Max explore psychological safety, the difference between instinct & intuition and the value of noticing what your body is telling you.  

What's the difference between riding the wave and feeling like you're going under? Kate & Max cover tips for making sure you're owning your day/week/story - rather than it owning you.  You'll find out here how to tap into the part of your brain that wants to join the dots.

Whatever your expertise, do you get irritated when you're asked to share your knowledge in 1 line/1 minute/1 page (or less)?  Why is it so hard to give the 'bottom line' when time and attention spans are short?  Kate and Max discuss their best tools and approaches for influencing people without dumbing down too far.

How do you react when you're on the receiving end of bad behaviour? And (sometimes) could it possibly be you that's behaving badly?!  Kate & Max explore what might be going on when peoples' good intentions overextend into being unhelpful or unpleasant, and what you can do about it.

Kate & Max take a trip through some cringe-making experiences of forced fun at work.  What ingredients need to be genuinely present for fun to support lightbulb learning moments?

That first time you realise not everyone's like you...and that's ok.  Kate & Max share their penny-drop moments and the subsequent implications for how they connect and work with other people.  This episode is a noodle through those accidental learnings that are still coming thick and fast.

Kate Wood & Max Gooding explain what's behind the story of the accidental manager.  We remember how we met and what led to us making a scary leap into the unknown that became noodle; bite-sized pieces of information that help people get the best out of themselves and the people they work with.Anyone who has found themselves in a position where they're responsible for managing others but hasn't had access to large development budgets or opportunities will know just how stressful it can be - they're not sure where to start, how to avoid making things worse and don't want to look stupid by admitting how unconfident they feel. These are what we call 'accidental managers'.  We talk about the lessons we learned - by accident - that we'll be sharing in Series 1 to help them have more impact, influence and stronger connections.