The Wolf Who Cried Women

Willie explains why he will no longer be involved.

As a "normal" person, you dear listener have probably never had to choose between two equally incredible potential partners. So surely, you will have nothing but sympathy as Gordon faces the terrible prospect of two completely different, actually wonderful women, both of whom are falling in love with Gordon.Surely you will just wonder how Gordon navigates this potentially challenging situation as opposed to wanting to strangle him. Watch as Will and Willie struggle not to 187/MDK Gordon on air. Music by: GremlinsHate mail & d**k pics: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Can you reject someone and still be the asshole? Certainly not simply for rejecting them, but maybe if...you're an asshole about it.Was Alicia Miami an asshole? Is there anything for Willie to learn from this experience?The thigh guys try desperately to sort it all out.Music by: The Gremlins

The last time Willie saw Alicia Miami, she made out with him and invited him to spend a few days in Miami with her. Right before leaving, he talks to 3 different friends who all claim that she is playing some sort of game with him.Nevertheless, he slaps on a smile and ventures to Miami, confused but excited.Do he and Alicia Miami fall in love? Was she playing a game? Who is Alicia Nordstrom? Is it all too good to be true?email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.comMusic: Blood Circus USA by the Gremlins c/o Scrummage Records

Today begins a love story for the ages: the four part saga of the greatest (??) love of Gordon's life: Antigone.Also included for free (!) a discussion on the nature of trust and morality.Music: Splattered Paint & Bigger Better by Dr Dali - care of scrummage recordsHate mail & D&*k Pics: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

The ridiculous tale of Becky Caledonia comes to a thrilling conclusion. We also discuss the nature of "transactional" sexual relationships and recount the time Evan came to visit Willie in DetroitMusic: Perfect Imperfections - Jennifer Grimmhate mail & d**kpics: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

This is somehow our second episode about Evan just trying to jerk off and it somehow leading to sex with a real human. I just have to say (Willie here) that Evan is like 20yo at this point and this is the 2nd time in his life where jerking off has led to sex. HOW??!?! HOW?!?!This episode also features: an extended discussion of Blockbuster video, a new beckythe gang weighing in on some listener submitted advice questions.Send us questions or whatever @ wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.comMUSIC: Driving in the 80s - Calamansi

Things discussed in this episode: - Evan's struggle to give up on Becky TEMS. - How Evan keeps running into people from the 1950s in 1998 - The difficulties when there is a serious mismatch between two partners. - Whether how you feel about someone affects how they smell. - Long lost lovers being reunited.Email us: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Yes there is a sub-title and a sub-subtitle.Today is a Willie-centric episode as he is preparing to visit a girl in Miami. He talks about the circumstances leading up to the visit, why he's excited and also some concerns that are giving him pause before expanding on the differences between a basic bitch and a bad bitch, and just what exactly makes someone a simp.Meanwhile Evan has insights into the culture of Myanmar and Gordon has a musical tribute to the members of the podcast.Email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Something is deeply deeply wrong with Evan. Things between him and the Goblin have gone south, she has left new orleans and Evan is devestated.To make matters worse, Evan has turned to the absolute worst people in the world, Will, Willie and Gordon for solace and counsel in these dark times.How will Evan deal with his grief? Will he take Gordon's advice and get therapy or perhaps strike a deal w/ a God he doesn't even believe in?email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Continuing our discussion from last week Evan poses two questions to the gang: 1. If your partner has a bunch of dysfunction/baggage, how much responsibility do you have to deal with it? Is it on them to shield you from it or is it on you to put up with it? 2. If you are in an imbalanced relationship (IE one person is way more into the other person than vice versa) what moral responsibilities does either party have?Evan poses a seeming paradox: he has been in both positions, and in both positions his friends have told him that he is the asshole. How can this be?Also discussed: Evan's frustrations as a gentrifier. Willie's discussion of why airbnb guests hate their airbnb's. How bad is it to see a cockroach in Louisiana?email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Arguably an off-topic episode, this is one of our best yet. It is centered around PTSD. Evan discusses his own PTSD, experiences where he was "triggered" and had very extreme reactions. Jenny, whose first marriage ended when she discovered her husbands dead body, talks about what that did to her. Willie discusses getting the shit kicked out of him. The gang discusses the responsibility (or lack thereof) that those suffering from PTSD have to deal with it and avoid letting the trauma roll downhill.Email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Todays episode gets controversial when Evan (OF ALL PEOPLE) argues that Becky China was weaponizing sex, explores how he felt about it and the gang rushes to condemn or defend (or both) Evan. But before than we have two short tales today: one about him and Becky China's dubious attempt to transport his motorcycle from Minnesota to New Orleans and a second about Evan's first real threesome.Hate mail & d@@K pics: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.comFeat music by Calamansi

"Does this make me look fat?" If you've ever dated a woman you have surely come to fear and tremble at these 6 words. Today Evan will face his destiny when Becky China asks him this dreaded question. But before that, Evan willingly goes to Church, learns Irish dancing, and the gang discusses the link between ones diet and what their semen tastes like.hate mail & d**k pics: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.comMusic by Jenny Grimm

Ep 51. - Jenny Grimm's FairytalesWe are graced today with the melodious aural delights of songwriter and performer and, most importantly, childhood friend of Evan, Jenny Grimm. We have 3 delightful tales for you today:#1. Jenny tells the wonderful story of her losing her virginity (spoiler: there was a lot of crying)#2. Jenny tells the story of the time her coworker asked for some of her breastmilk.#3. Will's friend sends 4 young women to him. Will shenanigans ensue?music by: Gremlinshatemail & d*ckpics: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

We continue the tale of manic pixie Becky China -This episode features: - Evan taking copious drugs and doing stupid things. - Evan pissing off his entire dorm room floor (but not literally pissing). - The time Will hit Arianna in the head w/ a Bottle - Arianna and Karen's tense relationship - Long term commitment (or the lack thereof) at Tulanefeaturing music by Cronk

We continue our archaeology (or perhaps genealogy) of Will's romatic psyche where we are graced by such characters as the Gyppie, the Roastmaster and the medium/small bookish girl.Also discussed: The Crimes of David Miscavige, the virtues of Mia Khalifa and yet another song about Hitler.feat music by the gremlinshate mail & d**K pics : wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Ep 49q Thigh Guys Ep 1 - A War on Artifice and CompulsionThe Thigh Guys are Will, Willie and Gordon and today we're not telling stories, no no no. Today Will declares war... on artifice in general, but on makeup in particular.Our first ~10 minutes are a wide ranging philosophical discussion, touching on Marxism, Bon Scott, and Will's concept of contradiction before diving into some "common" female beauty standards that Will takes exception to.But ultimately it comes down to makeup. Will has a very serious critique of women who wear makeup.And Willie finds Will's critique revolting and heroically pushes back while Gordon tries in vain to keep up.Along the way, we meet the following characters: The Club Bunny, The Farmer's Daughter, The Wincing Shojo, The X Frame, The Pear and the Waif.Email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Evan goes into extreme detail on what makes Becky China an incredible lover and sexual mentor and the gang has an extensive discussion of oral sex. We also find out: why it's so fun to watch Basketball w/ Gordon and what T. Cole Newton thinks about the podcast and we cap it all off with yet another offensive song from Gordon. featuring music by calamansi email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

guys, this is our most cinematic episoder ever. This episode literally features: 1. A car catching on fire and "our hero" walking away calmly. 2. An extremely emo teenage journal entry 3. A real life meet cute 4. A manic pixie dream girl 5. A person (not Evan) being saved from depression by cute babies. Email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com Music: Oh My Love - Evan Wolf Bella - Calamansi

Our "Too Good to Be True" series chronicles the ups and downs of Willie and Will's struggles as 40 year old bachelors. Despite being so different as to be impossible to confuse, the two chevaliers of the podcast have this in common: they seem to reguarly meet women so incredible, women that might just reciprocrate their feeling that it often seems too good to be true. 3 Stories Today: 1. Willie tells a special someone "I'll fuck you or fight you" and the person seems to choose both. 2. Will goes on his second date w/ the Montreal Marxist 3. Gordon sends a very special dick pic. featuring music by Cronk email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Too Good To Be True Pt. 3 - Rotating Another Man's Ficus Our "Too Good to Be True" series chronicles the ups and downs of Willie and Will's single life. Despite being so different as to be impossible to confuse, the two chevaliers of the podcast have this in common: they seem to reguarly meet women so incredible, women that might just reciprocrate their feeling that it often seems too good to be true. Today's episode features a series of short stories: 1. Will meets a beautiful, brilliant, multilingual Quebecois Marxist. Will love blossom over riverbend? 2. Willie falls in love with a beautiful woman at a concert who just might like him back. 3. Evan tells the story of a USSR defector who finds himself a pilot in Louisiana. 4. Gordon tells the true story of an Australian adult who seems a bit too invested in impressing children. And throughout the episode, Will pushes Willie's hospitality to the limits.

Ep. 44 - A People's Guide to Psilocybin Drugs. We've all done them (if you haven't, please don't talk to me). Today we hear tales from both Evan and Goblin's first experiences with "hard" drugs and a Becky from previous episodes returns as well. Whilst we're on this life-changing journey Willie and Gordon share hot tips for good drugs experiences and we conclude with a surprising appearance of special guests Jeb Bush and Jordan Peterson email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Yet again Evan is put in a position where he has one thing to do over the summer (in this case learn how to swim for the Navy) and he has refused to do it. Surely this will go well. Also an issue - the Navy is a place of strict hierarchy and rigid conformity to arbitrary rules, which seems like a bad fit for our poet laureate. We he make the cut, or will he wash out like so many forgotten seamen? And of course we have Becky Congo, the Naval napper, the charming Chalmatian. Will she fall for Evan's old tricks or will he have to find some new ones. Like a bad comedy, these storylines all converge at the 1997 (1998?) Tulane Navy Ball, where as usual, chenanigans ensue. D**k pics and Hatemail: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

How the hell did Evan end up with such a long list? Maybe he had a real aptitude for seduction. Or maybe...he had a strong fear of commitment. How could a man who frames his life as a quest for "love" simultaneously seem to believe that true love is impossible? Is it better to shoot for a series of unsustainable but unforgettable moments or to try to grow into a relationship with someone you can build a life with? This episode cuts to the heart of the matter as we attempt to tease out just what the hell Evan has been striving for over the past 30 years. Evan often describes this podcast as being about "one man's pursuit of love, sex, and romance" but our podcast is mostly stories of what happened during that pursuit. In this episode, we pull back the curtain and drill down on what these things actually mean. hate mail and d@@k pics: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

In the last episode, Willie painted a picture of the Summer of 1997 as the greatest summer of his life. But that was only how it felt. In actuality, the summer of 1997 was profoundly damaging. If last episode was the high, today we go in depth into the hangover as Willie lays out just how the summer of 1997 left him with problems that took a decade to overcome. This episode is a must listen for anyone who struggles with physical intimacy, performance anxiety, repression and denial. Hate Mail & D**k pics: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Today we dive into Willie's backstory and the magical, foundational Summer of 1997. If you've ever wondered where the hell Willie is coming from, this episode is for you. Like Evan, adolescent Willie devotes himself to a decades long quest, but it is not love sex and romance, instead, Willie manages to present himself as even more foolish than Evan. Willie paints a picture of the two different worlds his adolescent self inhabited: a school year with rigid social hierarchies and the ever present danger of being exposed as a poseur contrasted with summers of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Mixed in are discussions of what Stussy has to do w/ the Ship of Theseus and of course Sublime's seminal work 40 Oz. To Freedom email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

In this breezy jaunt, Evan watches a porn in public and meets a fetching Amish maiden, the bafflingly named "Becky Cote D'ivorie" whomst've despite being Amish is DTF, but not without some obstacles that Evan is determined to overcome. Meanwhile Arianna ponders many mysteries of sex: how was it invented? Does biking destroy your testicles? What sort of lover is Evan? hate mail: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

The primary thrust of this episode involves Evan doing a series of things very unbecoming of an aspiring Naval officer: dressing in drag, accosting colonels, violating protocol to get experimental eye surgery. Will Evan get kicked out of the military? Will he learn anything? Additionally we get the return of two of our favorite characters: mail checking Evan and Becky Belgium. This Episode also features: A new song from Gordon Why Goblin (is?) isn't afraid of Willie An in-depth discussion of the dangers and allure of the Brazillian butt-lift. Willie's tribute to the humble but innovative Ford Taurus.

The Goblin has somehow inexplicably become the latest "item" on Evan's list. What the actual f**k?! The first portion involves the live reactions of the podcast to this insane and momentous news whilst afterwards Evan and Willie sit down to disagree about what the hell this means for the podcast. Hate mail and d**k pics: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Evan is extraordinarily, uncharacteristically happy as we record this episode. Why? What is he so happy about?? We'll find out but before then we get an incredible story from Gordon wherein he decides he needs to break up with someone but instead of doing it in a sane way, goes about it in a bizarre/terrible/hilarious way. Meanwhile Evan tells us the story of Becky Canada, a beautiful young woman who has 100% of the control in the relationship and uses Evan as she sees fit. This will surely end well. Additionally chronicled: Evans continued struggle to get the Navy to pay for his college tuition and Willie's in depth explanation (rant really) of Polish anti-seitism. Email: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

This episode is a compendium of terrible ideas from Willie: We premiere our new Wolf Who Cried Women spin-off - The Bellhop Stand, a podcast focused on the exploits of Silky Willie the Bellhop @ the Evangeline Willie attempts to interview Will about how he incoporates colours into lovemaking. Goblin tells a story about a relationship where she unsurprisingly had all the control and Willie offers a dumb theory about why women date shitty men. Willie and Gordon put forward their argument for what the objectively best sex position is. email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

A special story today as this marks the first episode where Evan seems to feel some true regret over wronging a Becky, the alluring but inscrutable (and poorly named) Becky Chad. Although Evan is attempting to tell a story of sin and regret, there's still plenty of jerking off (literal and metaphorical) and humblebragging from Gordon and Arianna. Meanwhile Evan introduces a new antagonist in his life: Tulane University Greek Life. Willie and Evan break down what greek life looks like from an outsider perspective meanwhile Willie and Will debate the qualities (or like thereof) of multi instrumentalist and sad bastard Andrew Bird. Email: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Today's episode features a bunch of short discussions about relationships. Relationships discussed in this episode: - Evan's relationship with his father - Jon's relationship with his "wife" and step children - Evan and Jon's Cousin Relationship - Willie's "relationship" to Judaism and Weight Loss - Will's "relationship" to Angry Canadians - Willie's relationship w/ Cap Email us: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Jon Wolf returns to give the Wolf clan perspective and what do we learn? Wolves are stupid. Today's episode feature 3 short stories about Wolves making dumb decisions: #1. Evan decides to hitchhike into and out of a federal prison. #2. Evan decides to become a lifeguard despite not knowing how to swim. #3. Jon Wolf goes searching for love in Evan's Hottub during Mardi Gras. Email us: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Evan has returned to Minnesota and to the arms of Becky Cyprus but before we dive into their relationship, Evan's cousin, a man's man and an expert on Minnesota culture Jon Wolf joins us to share a number of insights about: Evan's Dad, life in Longprairie Minnesota and what a cake eater is. Meanwhile, Evan is completely smitten by Becky Cyprus but she is trying to be a good Mormon girl. Will he succeed in evangelizing the virtues of sex to this upstanding young lady, will the call to fornication go unanswered, or will Becky's Dad find them and murder Evan? Tune in to find out! Email: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

This is supposed to be the second part of the Becky Cypress saga but we sure spend a lot of time delving into Will's disturbed psyche. We cover: Will's attempts to set a PR in jerking off. Why Will is retiring from dating women. Will defends himself against Willie's accusations of racism. Eventually we are able to shift our focus back to Evan, in particular his advanced techniques in designing dates and in particular his epic first date with Becky Cyprus. Email us: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

It's a Minnesota Christmas and Evan is intoxicated on chilli, broomball and the alluring, mom jeans wearing Becky Cyprus. The only problem: she's a Mormon! Will Evan give up? Will Evan convince her to abandon God? Will Evan find god? Join us as we introduce Becky Cyprus and relive the youthful joys of holiday gettogethers. Music by Aaron Lenard Email: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Wherein Evan gets the bill for his first semester of college he discovers that, oopsie, he has no way to pay for college. And before you can say "at ease, Seargeant" Evan has enlisted in the armed forces and met a new Becky who might be rockin a fupa. Evan introduces us to decades long involvement with our nation's armed services whilst the rest of us reflect on the nature of being friends with someone that you are attracted to. *** Music by Aaron Lenard *** Email us @ Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

We've all been there: a situation where both people are potentially interested, but one person is a lot MORE interested. Is this a turn on or a turn off? No story today, instead we dive into imbalances of desire: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Also addressed: why Evan surrounds himself with people who frustrate him, the truth about "dog" people, and why Willie doesn't like to get too political on the podcast. *Music by Aaron Lenard Email us: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

If you are a straight man who has ever liked a woman, at some point you may have considered a grand sweeping gesture to demonstrate your excellence and win her over. If you are already an avid listener (and if not, what's wrong with you?) you know that Evan's tactics range from the curious to the insane and today's story is no exception: this is literally one of the most ridiculous attempts to impress a woman you will ever hear about it. Meanwhile, stay tuned for Aubrey discussing her own experiences masturbating as a young child and the Goblin's brilliant hack to enjoy any conversation, no matter how boring. Email us: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Squirting. If you've slept with a non-zero amount of people with vaginas, you may have encountered this before. Today Evan encounters not just his first squirter, but also someone that he thinks might be a bit beneath him. Thrown in are further reminiscings of freshman dorm experiences. Email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

WARNING: Gross bodily fluid discussion. This episode is all over the place, but it is primarily about two things: 1. Will and Willie's difficult working relationship is brought to the forefront as they try to work things out and/or blow up the relationship live on air. A real "behind the music" take on this podcast. 2. We hear the Goblin's tale of her first experience with anal sex. Fair warning: we take a long time to get there and here's what we generally talk about. In addition to this we also get rousing discussions of the following topics: -- Bill Gates injecting Gordon w/ Covid -- Whether Arianna is a Twink Goblin Bitch -- Freshman dorm experiences -- Young American's relationship to liquor. -- Will's Dating experiences in Montreal. email: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

We get side tracked pretty early on as Aubrey goes into extensive detail on what it's like to go to a high school full of movie stars (which she did). But after extensive discussion of 90s celebrities that Aubrey knew, Evan takes us back to college for a thing we all (hopefully) kind of remember: the freshman year drunken hookup. Despite the fact that this is a pretty typical experience, Evan manages to make this about his own unique concerns: youthful identity, skin disorders, fine dining, annoying roommates and OF COURSE vomit. This episode also features: old millenials complaining about zoomers and the secret similarities between sumo wrestling and ballet. Email us: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

How far would you go to get somewhere with someone you've got a crush on? Well, whatever the answer is, it's likely not as far as Evan will go when he becomes smitten with the alluring and ambitious Becky Cameroon --- this is the tale of a multi-year commitment to win the heart of a woman who...might not be interested in Evan and perhaps more importantly, might not be that great of a person. Email: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Continuing with last weeks theme of things that appear too good to be true: 39 year old Willie (who is the same age as Will but is not Will) meets a pair of attractive young women and it seems pretty clear that one of them likes him. Will this be the big break he has been waiting for, or will he screw this up, or is it all too good to be true? Email Us: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

In a very special episode roles are reversed as Evan plays host and Will shar's an incredible story: as a 39 year old single man with no job and no bank account, he is messaged by a very attractive seemingly real 24 year old woman who just wants to sleep with him. Is it a scam? Is it fake? Well... I don't do spoilers but what I will tell you is this: it's a great story and a deep dive into the psyche of Will. Email: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Episode 25b - Milo goes to college pt 2: Je T'aime New Orleans Evan is brand new to Tulane College and New Orleans in general but he's not any less interested in Romance --- will his cup runneth over or will his hopes and dreams crumble before him? Well I can promise you that he meets plenty of Beckys in his first month and we will definitely critique what he did. This episode also goes into depth on New Orleans, particularly the welcoming spirit and the "civilized" drinking culture here. Also Discussed: Richard Marxism, Willie + Gordon's Freshman year roommate experiences, "Gay" chicken, Big Spoon vs Little Spoon, Evans Hatred of Republicans and attitude walking into college

Episode 25a: Milo goes to college (Feat Mama) This episode is all over the place BUT includes the moment we have all been waiting for: Evan moves to New Orleans to attend college @ Tulane but before then Will and Willie both have quasi Evan style lists that they want to discuss, Willie tells a story of calling someone a facefucker, Gordon defends the honor of Shreveport. Evan explains: "why Tulane" and then does a great job of describing what it's like to move to Louisiana from the north and then talks about meeting miss teen alabama, and his perfect roommate Additionally: The Gang revisits the lessons on body insecurity potentially learned from Becky Burkina Faso, Evan talks about seeing a post-Katrina Vagina Monologue, the joys and sorrows of journaling, Karen's dreams for Evan

This is the first episode featuring extensive contributions from the Becky in question (thanks Becky!) In this tale of Evan on the cusp of college he meets and falls for two women: Becky Bahamas, and her talented but suspicious (?) friend Becky Barbuda. Evan has concoted a surely brilliant plan to never be on the losing end, but it looks like Bahamas can see right through Evan and wants to break him. Will HER plan succeed? Meanwhile Gordon has a spec script that you are definitely going to want to hear and even more humblebrags than usual. Willie counters with yet another story of failure and the gang mocks Evan's high school vision board. (These two things are not discussed @ the same EMAIL: wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com

Incredible news bottom keepers. Today we drop the first episode in an ongoing series - Conversations w/ Barack, where Willie interviews the 44th President of the United States of America: Barack Obama. We talk about many things, including Baracks views on society, race and religion. Incredibly, Barack is not the only special guest this week as we have another very famous celebrity on the podcast (I DONT DO SPOILERS SO U WILL HAVE TO LISTEN TO FIND OUT) We also do a deep dive into the viewer mailbag to explorer the question: are Will and Arianna the water???? Email us: Wolfwhocriedwomen@gmail.com