We Need to Talk About Steven

On this week's episode of We Need to Talk About Crypto, Mike and Sean try to talk about the word of the day - “white papers” - but are instead derailed by a visit from style icon Tony “The Fauxhawk” Dungelson, who announces his ill-timed plans to open a “Grooming Academy” to teach adults how to “groom children”. By this, Tony simply means etiquette and personal hygiene, so the boys try to help him re-brand his business. But things go south quickly, and one of Tony's friends named Rufus storms into the studio to defend his mentor as the situation deteriorates. Also featured: Croc Talk, Listener Mail, and a nod to Yam Queen!

This special episode of We Need to Talk About Crypto was recorded live at UCLA's Royce Hall, and is presented by the Carolina Yam Growers Association in collaboration with Ashley Price Industries. Sound a little different? That's because Sean and Mike are here to promote YAM COIN - Where Agriculture Meets Crypto! Yam Coin is an incredible new cryptocurrency that will revolutionize the face of produce and farming. Joining Sean and Mike to discuss this incredible economic breakthrough is Yam Queen, the world-famous cultural icon, diva, and lead singer of the Yam Jam Band from the 1980s "Carolina Yams" commercials! Your hosts interview Yam Queen, learn about her rise and fall, and even hear a special performance of her original hit song "Yam Queen". But things take a turn when an unexpected guests joins everyone on stage - Dr. Sirloin, the Instagram doctor who claims that "yams are bullshit" and that "the human body can subsist exclusively on sirloin". Things get contentious, and soon Sean and Mike find themselves moderating a no-holds-barred debate between Dr. Sirloin and Yam Queen. Tune into this episode and you will never look at yams, meat, or UCLA the same way ever again!

"Behind every great man is another man with his hands on the first man's hips, whispering ideas into his ear." - Sun Tzu Last week Sean and Mike pulled the plug on producer Tessa (literally), and this week they've moved into a luxurious new studio owned by Ashley Price, the businessman and entrepreneur known for making deals in public restrooms. Your favorite hosts celebrate their lifestyle upgrade, and introduce a few new segments like "Croc Talk", which is dedicated to the lifestyle of wearing Crocs. The podcast also debuts a brand new theme song, and the boys are visited by The Crypto Keeper, who comes to welcome Tessa to the underworld as well as complain about a shocking "slap" that took place at the Helly awards down in Digital Hell. All of this and so much more on this week's episode of "We Need to Talk About Crypto"!

Your favorite investment gurus are back in Los Angeles after winning the war in Ukraine, but there's been some big changes around the podcast. Producer Tessa has married a reclusive hentai enthusiast while the boys were away, and they're forced to confront him as their new dad and step-producer. During the conversation, the boys learn about a prophetic vision of the future called "The Teckus Trilogy", which involves shoeboxes, computer parts, and copious amounts of man-on-machine sexual activity. Fortunately for Mike and Sean, the podcast's new owner Ashley Price is there to clean up the mess made by Tessa and her husband - but will this ultimately be what's best for the show? Oh, and the word of the day is "crpto tourism".

The boys are back on the road this week, but this time it's no Salt Lake City... it's the war torn nation of Ukraine! Sean and Mike have left America for the sweet siren call of cash being paid to foreign fighters in Ukraine's conflict with Russia, but the deal isn't as good as it seems. Although they received free guns and a cool set of pajamas, the fightin' life is not exactly for the rise n' grind boys you know and love - and they've deserted the cause. Thus, this week's episode was recorded in an international basement pub that is home to killers, spies, and army defectors. Mike meets a European Pjornographer, and we're treated to a PSA for "He World", the nature preserve for castrated Alpha Males in San Diego. This week's word is "Rouble", and the dip of the week was "Garlic Spread". Join us for all this and so much more!

The boys are back in Los Angeles after living through a national tragedy in Salt Lake City where 35 people - including some of the country's most prominent alpha males - were killed in a trampling. Producer Tessa is in a pissy mood after being left out of the road trip, but she continues to show up and do her job like the professional that she is. The word of the day is "insolvency", because they boys have spent the last of their bitcoin and must find new sponsors to keep the show afloat. Finally, the dip of the day is balsamic vinegar and olive oil with gluten free bread. Warning: this episode contains disturbing audio from the DJ Zack Stoufus show where the trampling occurred, and it may be inappropriate for some listeners.

Welcome to Part 2 of the boys' trip to Alpha Con! On this riveting episode, your intrepid hosts crawl through sewage, meet an Alpha named Ashley Price, and get fashion advice from Tony “The Fauxhawk” Dungelson. This week's dip is a mystery beverage called “daddy juice”, and the location is a literal toilet.

On this very special episode of We Need To Talk About Crypto, the boys head to Salt Lake City and record live from the Alpha Male Convention, a gathering of Alphas hosted by a mysterious figure named "The Bull Moose". Our podcast has its very own booth, so Sean and Mike were able to interview some of the convention's keynote speakers, including a man who rekindled his sex life at Koo Koo Roo, and a 350 lbs "Offensive Coach" who teaches his students to be rude 'n crude. Stay tuned for next's weeks Part 2 of this very special event, featuring DJ Zack Stoufus, Tony "The Fauxhawk" Dungelson, and much, much more!

The final 101 lesson - NFTs - is upon us! Mike & Sean take us through the final hours of Mark Wahlberg's "rise n' grind" routine, discuss NFTs, and get deep on what investors need to know about this crazy new place to put your money! In a special edition of "Buy The Dip", they guys learn they ate a stranger's piss last week, and make a huge announcement: the podcast is going to Salt Lake City for the Alpha Male Convention! Oh, and Producer Tessa reveals which one of the boys Googled her naked... and take revenge. This is a banger of an episode, and you do NOT want to miss it! "Buy the Dip" Dip: Pub Cheese

On this exciting new episode, Sean and Mike teach you all about Ethereum, "the other bitcoin". They also take you deeper inside the millionaire mindset of Mark Wahlberg, the hustle game's #1 champion (and world's leading turkey killer!). Later in the show, the guys sample a delicious dip sent in by a listener in the "Buy the Dip" segment! There's never been a better time to learn about crypto, and this is the podcast that will help you do it!

On this week's exciting new episode of "We Need to Talk About Crypto", Sean and Mike discuss how to adopt a "rise & grind" mentality that gets you out of bed and into the gym, as well as "Bitcoin", AKA the mother of all crypto. The guys take a moment to celebrate the success of a crypto fundraiser where high school kids paid money to savagely beat them with baseball bats, as well as proudly announce their ownership of one whole bitcoin. Also featured: Mark Wahlberg's turkey coop, The Men Who Stare at Coats, and a special appearance by the hellish demon known as "The Cryptokeeper". Oh, and clowns are back? Whatever that means.

On this week's episode of "We Need To Talk About Crypto", Sean and Mike explore a complicated term you've probably never heard before: "wallet". What is a "wallet", and how does it work? Do you need one to become a billionaire? The boys discuss this and more, and disembodied robo-producer Tessa even introduces two brand new segments! Also covered: scream scrambles, Mark Wahlberg, fan mail, and, of course, Nude Elon Musk.

Sean and Mike dive deeper into the mysterious and often confusing world of Crypto as they learn (and then teach) about "the blockchain". Also covered: rise and grind routines, Elon Musk nude, a feud with teenagers, a spooky visit from a demon named the "The Cryptokeeper", and a very delicious "Buy The Dip"!

The boys are BACK!!! It's been two long years since Sean and Mike laid down their microphones, but they're back for 2022, and this time they're here with a noble purpose: to help you get rich through investing in cryptocurrency! Sean and Mike don't actually know anything about crypto, but they are going to 1) learn its secrets in order to get fabulously wealthy, and 2) Teach them to YOU! Join the boys as they begin a whole new season of We Need To Talk, and join in as they grow into sophisticated crypto experts who will ENRICH your LIFE! All aboard the wealth train - choo choo! Elon Musk, Dogecoin, NFTs, Lamborghinis, Metaverses, Mega-yachts and, so much more... this is We Need To Talk About Crypto!

It's been two years since Sean and Mike finished Talking About Steven. But now they need to talk again - only this time, it's not about Stevens, Stephanies, or Stefanis. Gone are the days of profiling people with the same name, because that trick is old and you've heard it before. In the new Season 2 of "We Need to Talk...", the boys have a whole new topic to cover, and it's something that will change your life forever. How do the boys know? Because it's changed them, too. Listen to this exciting new trailer to get a better idea of what Season 2 holds, and we'll see you on January 10th, 2022 for the first episode!

On this episode of the podcast, the boys are grievin' Stevens again, because they're discussing the late comedian Brody Stevens. Yet, as the boys are only tangentially aware of his career, the conversation soon veers off topic into suicide, power bottoming, bathroom measuring, boot straps, and shoe horns.

This week, the boys talk theater, babe - the musical kind. Steven Sondheim, the master of stage and song, is tangentially discussed.

The boys discuss pork tenderloin, cowboy mustaches, Crocodile Dundee, life on the open range, David Berkowitz, paper cuts, hats, beans, and, of course Steven Soderbergh, one of the best directors of our time!

The boys are here to discuss a man who has played some Stevens - Adam Sandler! In typical fashion, this episode is quickly sidetracked by discussions about Mike's famous cooking tips, Sean's vitamin doubts, the sad plight of movie Indians, and David Spade.

The boys have been hard at work, and now they have a sponsor! After making some sweet corporate cash, Mike and Sean move into talking about actor Steve Zahn. Also covered: a mini horse gets the D, Richard Gere's furry friend, Criss Angel, and the time Rod Stewart got his stomach pumped. Warning - this maybe the most vulgar episode yet, and that's really saying something.

The boys are back babe, and it's time to chat Steves for a whole new year! Season 2 opens with a 2 hour special focusing on everything under the sun, including some stuff about Steven Spielberg.

Oh boy! The boys are in for a surprise this week as a very special musical guest drops by to hijack the shows jingles. But more importantly, they discuss the Steves of the Office: Steve Carrell and Stephen Merchant, two men whose comedy has changed the corporate workplace forever. Plus: James Spader's hog is measured, a net worth guessing game yields mild results, and the guys discuss secret hideaways!

The Boys are back in town! And more importantly... they're ready to talk Steven... Aoki style. From his Benihana childhood to his days ruling the world of DJ bullshit in Las Vegas or whatever, we cover tons of stuff about Steve. But more importantly, we talk bee stings, Scotsmen, and putting a ring on a man's penis.

On this week's episode of WNTTAS, the boys take a left turn from their character-driven episodes and focus on a Steven you can literally put in your coffee: Stevia, the all-natural sugar alternative. Also on this episode: Michael shares another riveting tale from his adventures in the Dodger Stadium men's room, Sean reports on a nude music icon farting into a hooker's mouth, the boys discuss the masturbation recovery group "Jay-A". Finally, a sweet new sponsor joins the podcast!

Bwooww... bwa-bwa-bweedle-da-bwoww... the boys are BRED 2 SHRED this week as they cover three of the greatest Steven guitarists of all time. They talk solos, rock, Chuck Berry shitting into women's mouths, and Ozzy Osbourne eating peas out of a cat bowl. They also cover Billy Idol, toilets, and so much more!

The words "conservative" and "comedy" don't usually belong in the same sentence... but try telling that to this week's Steven, an abstinent frat boy as obsessed with transgendered issues as, well, a transgendered person. His name is Steven Crowder, and he has strong opinions, many of them kind of disgusting. This week, the boys discuss Steven Crowder and other alt-right pundits like Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson, men whose careers were made by confronting transsexuals about where they defecate. Also discussed: Stone Cold Steve Austin, George W. Bush, and, of course, hogs.

In this episode of WNTTAS, the boys discuss Cat Stevens, AKA Yusuf Islam. They discuss his music, his mid-life religious conversion, Salman Rushdie's penis, the concept of "bum dicks" (hint - Salman's got one!) and The Talking Heads' David Byrne. Also discussed: Gloria Estefan, martinis, and ciabatta bread.

On this episode of WNTTAS, the boys discuss Gloria Estefan... or do they? A lot of time is spent on MILF/boy relationships, Emilio Estevez, the play "Cats", Haley Joel Osment, and much, much more!

The boys take on the 90s TV icon Steve Urkel... kind of. They get distracted almost right off the bat, and discuss 90s TV shows like Doug, The Simpsons, and Saved By The Bell. They also discuss the Budweiser factory, Sonic the Hedgehog, The Fresh Prince, and so much more!

On this episode, the boys discuss Stephen Colbert, the bespectacled hero of political humor. They also talk about toilet cams, scrabbles, Catholics, the gay world, New York, and much, much more!

The contest is over! The winners of the WNTTAS "Talk about a Steven of Your Choice" contest are in. Two lovely ladies, Marnie and Janice, have a whole episode to themselves to talk about Steve Chang, a man who lives up the street from them. They also talk about Ambien induced vision quests, indulge in a prescription pill tasting, and the joys of motherhood!

Brace yourselves, nerds, because this week the boys discuss Captain America, Marvel's fascist lame-ass superhero that nobody gives a shit about who should have been laid to bed in the 1950s. They also discuss butts.

The boys are absolutely out of control in this episode, which is SUPPOSED to be covering the esteemed astrophysicist Stephen Hawking. Instead, it veers off into all kinds of bizarre tangents including Mike's visit to a crack house, guys' butts, Zane's departure from One Direction, alien life, time travel, the top 100 Brits, railroads, and so, so much more.

This week the boys talk about a multi-talented Steven: Lil' Steven Van Zandt, guitarist from Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band and famed actor, writer, and producer. This Steven is a surprisingly deep well of factoids and interesting points, and the boys are not afraid to delve as deep as they can into Soprano lore, Springsteen trivia, and much, much more.

Uh-oh, it's double trouble from this Stephen! In this episode, Mike and Sean conclude their two-part profile of the man who is perhaps the G.S.O.A.T. - Stephen King. He is likely the most adapted writer of all time, with a movie career that is, quite frankly, insane. From "Carrie" to "It" to "The Shining", Stephen King's mark on cinema is unrivaled by any other writer. In fact, the boys almost have TOO much Stephen to talk about when it comes to his films. For example, did you know Stephen King hates "The Shining" and thinks Stanley Kubrick was a dumb asshole? And did you know he once directed his own film, and it's kind of a piece of amazing shit? Did you know that there are around 35 Stephen King shows and films in production RIGHT NOW? Prolific doesn't cut it - this man is a legend.

Carrie, The Shining, The Stand, IT, Cujo, Pet Sematary, The Dead Zone, 11/22/63, Salem's Lot, Misery, Gerald's Game, Mr. Mercedes... is that enough search terms?! The boys are discussing the inimitable master of horror Stephen King this week. This Stephen has so much going on that his story is being covered in two parts. In this first installment, the boys discuss Stephen King the author, his approach to writing, his techniques, and his most legendary works of prose. They also confront and shit all over his critics, such as the prominent literary grouch Harold Bloom. Hogs are measured, Stephens are discussed, and the boys have a rousing good time. Stay tuned for Pt. 2 - King's movies!

On this episode of WNTTAS, the boys discuss comedy legend and movie star Steve Martin. And, just like one of Steve's acts, this episode is extremely weird. The boys dive into Elvis, Knott's Berry Farm, magic, puppets, and... of course... they measure the Three Amigos' hogs. It's a rip roaring good time with one of America's biggest legends and two of its most mediocre podcasters.

Congratulations Golden State Warriors on the NBA Championship! To celebrate this victory, Mike and Sean discuss three Steve legends of the NBA hardwood: Steph Curry, Steve Kerr, and Steve Nash. Mike updates the audience with Vince Vaughn news, Sean jumps over a snake, and Archie boy the dog takes a comfortable nap. Also included: ranting about the NFL, hog measuring, and a tantalizing story about America's loosest lady of the night: Madonna.

Steve Harvey: America's family funny man, or mustachioed religious religious zealot from hell? On this episode of WNTTAS, the boys delve into the highs and lows of this controversial comedian's career, life, and views. Also featured: a rousing rendition of "Did I Do That?" leads Mike down a dark hole of possibilities, and Sean does an impression of Batman.

The boys discuss alley-cat-look-alike and frontman of Aerosmith, Steven Tyler. From his early days in New York as Stefano Fettucini Olive Gardino to the boa-wearing Demon of Screaming, this Steven has lived so hard it's a surprise his curiosity for drugs has not killed this cat. Plus, they uncover a long lost commercial for a failed Aerosmith branded business, and play a truly confounding game of Did I do That?

Recorded live at the world famous Craig's Deli in Los Angeles, Mike and Sean discuss one of the world's all-time greatest female Stevens: Gwen Stefani. From the OC to the TV, this talented young lady has blessed America with her singular vocal stylings for three decades running. The boys introduce a new segment called "Perv Corner", and do a deli meat tasting (jowl noise lovers rejoice!) in order to promote Mike's dad's deli.

On this week's episode of WNTTAS, the boys discuss a prolific nutsack self-abuser: Steve-O. Famous for his "Jackass" stunts and his love of wildlife, Steve-O has captured the hearts and imaginations of millions of people. His private struggles with drugs and public stunts are profiled, and, of course, his hog is put to the measurement test.

On this week's episode of WNTTAS, the boys discuss the conservative thinker and political shit-show impresario, Steve Bannon. Whether it's supporting fascism in Europe or garnishing Rob Reiner's "Seinfeld" royalties, this Stevie always has time to be a pain in someone's ass. The guys discuss his fashion choices, his career, and even run a spot for his signature line of bourbon, Pappy van Bannon's.

In this episode of "Redeemin' Stevens", Michael makes a correction to his bio of Stevie Wonder, and the guys leap headlong into the Stephanie Clifford - AKA "Stormy Daniels" - story. How big is the president's hog? How big is Stormy attorney Michael Avenatti's hog? All of these questions and much, much more on this episode of "We Need to Talk About Steven"!

In this episode, the boys discuss Stevie Wonder - the blind, piano playin', genius havin' son-of-a-bitch that has dominated the music charts for five decades. Or is it six? Who's counting?! The boy's also discuss the capture of Sacramento's "Baby Dick Killer", and introduce a new segment called "Let's Measure That Hog!". Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this stupidity, but most importantly - let's talk about Steven!

In this surprise mini-episode, Mike and Sean do some business for the podcast. The boys correct some factual errors from previous episodes, catch up on important Steven news, and "ketchup" on the band Haim.

Crikey, it's a down-under episode of WNTTAS! This week the boys discuss one of their heroes: Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. Mike and Sean are grievin' Stevens as they deliver a loving tribute to the most charming goof-ball ever to antagonize the animal kingdom. Irwin's life of reptile wranglin', David Attenborough beefin', and zoo keepin' are discussed, and a few new jingles are debuted. Also featured - a rousing game of "Did I Do That?" and a powerful audio collage tribute to Steve's life and legacy.

This week Sean and Mike discuss the G.O.A.T. goat herself: Stevie Nicks, the singer and song writer extraordinaire known for her work with Fleetwood Mac as well as her massive solo career. Learn all about the gold dust woman's adventures cleaning poop, dating Don Henley, and navigating the troubled waters of 70s-era cosmetic surgery. It's a tale of cocaine, witchcraft, and the most infamous turkey baster in history.

This week the guys discuss the pop-eyed, snaggled toothed wunderkind known as Steve Buscemi. He's worked with everyone from Adam Sandler to the Coen Brothers, living a life so packed with action that the only thing left to get him off is an early dinner out with his wife and kid. Also discussed: James Gandolfini's final meal, Libertarians, and what Louis C.K. may have done to a movie theater soap dispenser.

This week the guys discuss one of history's most difficult Stevens: Steven Seagal. An ethnically fluid martial artist, kimono evangelist, lawman, and part-time calypso musician, Mr. Seagal has made his mark on the world in some of the most unique ways of all time. Sean and Mike explore his mastery of regional dialect, his cologne business, and of course, the time he bull-dozed a Mexican family's house to the ground and killed their dog... all in the name of justice.

In the premiere episode of "We Need to Talk About Steven", hosts Sean and Mike discuss the greatest wrestler of all time - Stone Cold Steve Austin. Get ready for an hour and half of calf-wrasslin, beer drinkin', and newfound respect for one of America's greatest redneck athletes.