Podcasts about ambien

Kerri covers the 2011 murder of Lauren Giddings, a Macon, Georgia law student whose classmate and next-door neighbor had been secretly obsessing over her for years, culminating in one of the most disturbing on-camera moments in true crime history. Donna explores the Kozyrev Mirror, a spiral aluminum cylinder built by Soviet scientists to test whether time is a physical force you can bend, and the deeply unsettling experiences reported by the people who sat inside it. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerri covers the 2011 murder of Lauren Giddings, a Macon, Georgia law student whose classmate and next-door neighbor had been secretly obsessing over her for years, culminating in one of the most disturbing on-camera moments in true crime history. Donna explores the Kozyrev Mirror, a spiral aluminum cylinder built by Soviet scientists to test whether time is a physical force you can bend, and the deeply unsettling experiences reported by the people who sat inside it. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Missy meets a cash-toting stranger on her front porch and happily lives to tell the tale (for once, Stuart and Amy are on the ESSSHthaccct ShhhhAme Payyge). Missy's Ambien-induced shopping takes a heartwarming turn. And Amy slathers her soul in liquid butter. It's binge-listening at it's finest, Dear Listener, with plenty of innuendo, intrigue and closed circuit TV footage to keep things interesting. Chuckles and love, sweet peeps. 

Donna covers the mysterious Coral Castle in Florida, a bizarre stone structure built single-handedly by Edward Leedskalnin. This stone structure was built using techniques that remain unexplained to this day and Donna goes into all the theories surrounding how Edward Leedskalnin could make these structures alone without machinery. Kerri covers the heartbreaking case of Samantha Josephson, a college student murdered after getting into a stranger's car she believed was her Uber ride in Columbia, South Carolina. She discusses the devastating impact of this 2019 tragedy and the safety legislation it inspired to protect rideshare passengers.If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Join us for CrimeWave at Sea 2.0! To get $100 off, head to www.crimewaveatsea.com/creep today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna covers the mysterious Coral Castle in Florida, a bizarre stone structure built single-handedly by Edward Leedskalnin. This stone structure was built using techniques that remain unexplained to this day and Donna goes into all the theories surrounding how Edward Leedskalnin could make these structures alone without machinery. Kerri covers the heartbreaking case of Samantha Josephson, a college student murdered after getting into a stranger's car she believed was her Uber ride in Columbia, South Carolina. She discusses the devastating impact of this 2019 tragedy and the safety legislation it inspired to protect rideshare passengers.If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Join us for CrimeWave at Sea 2.0! To get $100 off, head to www.crimewaveatsea.com/creep today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerri dives into the heartbreaking story of Cara Knott, whose life was tragically cut short in a shocking murder that left everyone reeling. Join her as she unpacks the twists and turns of the investigation, revealing just how unsettling it can be to trust the people around us. Donna takes us through the spooky corridors of Estrella Jail, a place filled with ghostly legends and eerie tales. With a mix of humor and history, she shares the hair-raising experiences of former inmates and staff, making you wonder what really lurks in the shadows. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

(featured photo shows David, his wife Yvonne, and son, Joey, when young) Meet the Incredible Dr. David Antonuccio, Part 2 of 2 Shrink, Songwriter, and Hero Today we continue our conversation with my dear friend and esteemed colleague, Dr. David Antonuccio, a true scholar, clinician, researcher, musician, and champion of scientific transparency. The Nicotine Patch Study David revisited his landmark research on the nicotine patch, a costly trial involving roughly 600 participants who were randomly assigned to receive either a real nicotine patch or a sham patch. The goals were to assess safety and efficacy. The safety data looked reassuring. However, the efficacy findings were unexpected: the placebo patch worked just as well as the active nicotine patch in reducing smoking. The sponsoring company published the safety data but refused to publish—and refused David access to—the efficacy findings, which showed no advantage for the nicotine patch. You can check the link to the NEJM article here.  David writes: "Notice the 48 week follow-up data were excluded in this paper despite the fact that they were available. That really annoyed me. I also now believe that the original version of the paper was ghostwritten and ghost analyzed by the industry folks.in other words.  I'm not sure that the authors ever had access to the "raw" data before they were analyzed." This was important because there was a decrease in smoking DURING the study among those wearing the patch, and getting their "fix" of nicotine that way. . . but what happened AFTER the study?  David writes: "Here is the link to the follow up paper that emphasized efficacy and included the 48 week follow-up data." Notice that this paper was not published until three years later, when the Nicotine Patch had already been heavily advertised and sold on the market. This early experience in his career revealed the tension between marketing interests which focus on sales, and scientific interests which focus on truth and transparency—a daunting and frustrating pattern that would emerge again and again in his career. Expert Testimony in a Tragic Criminal Case David then described expert testimony he provided in a deeply troubling legal case. A 72-year-old woman, happily married for 50 years and a respected kindergarten teacher, had recently been prescribed Paxil, along with Ambien and Ativan. She abruptly, and without memory, woke up in the middle of the night and stabbed her husband 200 times and was subsequently arrested for homicide. There was no jury trial; instead, a plea bargain was used to determine sentencing. Dr. David Antonuccio was called as an expert witness in her defense. He described Dr. David Healy's research documenting a significant increase in both suicidal and violent urges among some patients taking SSRIs, especially Paxil. He argued that this woman's bizarre behavior was consistent with a drug-induced dissociative or fugue state. Based in part on David's testimony, the charge was reduced to manslaughter, and the judge sentenced her to time served, allowing her to return home to her children. For more on this topic: David Healy's Research on SSRIs and Homicidal Urge SSRIs Called on Carpet Over Violence Claims Black Box Warnings and Patient Rights David also emphasized the urgent need to revise Black Box warnings to reflect the full range of possible toxic or dissociative effects of psychiatric medications—not just suicidality. He has long advocated for a Patient Bill of Rights to ensure scientific transparency and informed consent. A Surprising Conversation with Dr. John Nash David shared a fascinating personal story about calling Dr. John Nash, whose life inspired the award-winning film A Beautiful Mind. In the movie, Nash's recovery from schizophrenia  is portrayed as medication-dependent. However, Nash told David directly that this was not true—the medication narrative was added to the script, possibly out of concern that portraying his recovery without meds might discourage viewers from taking prescribed medications. Nash said: "What saved me was the support of family and friends." Music, Truth, and "Buzz" David is also a talented songwriter. One of his songs, "Buzz," addresses the emotional and ethical issues surrounding electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). The inspiration came from a man in the Midwest who was legally ordered to undergo ECT against his will. A widespread public outcry ultimately convinced the judge to rescind the order. Forgiveness and "In the Air Tonight" One of David's favorite songs is Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight," which he sees as a deeply spiritual musical meditation on forgiveness—a theme David considers one of the most powerful psychological forces we possess. David explains that the Phil Collin's song is about forgiveness, but more indirectly and specifically about the songwriter's inability to forgive. And yes—David sang it live for us on the podcast! You might be interested in this chapter that David coauthored on the science of forgiveness Thank you for joining us today. And heartfelt thanks to you, Dr. David Antonuccio, for your gifts of enlightened skepticism, ethical courage, incisive scientific thinking, and soulful musical talent. David, Rhonda, and David

Kerri dives into the heartbreaking story of Cara Knott, whose life was tragically cut short in a shocking murder that left everyone reeling. Join her as she unpacks the twists and turns of the investigation, revealing just how unsettling it can be to trust the people around us. Donna takes us through the spooky corridors of Estrella Jail, a place filled with ghostly legends and eerie tales. With a mix of humor and history, she shares the hair-raising experiences of former inmates and staff, making you wonder what really lurks in the shadows. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Laura Cathcart Robbins tells her story of Ambien addiction and living that Hollywood lifestyle before it came crashing down.

Donna talks about the super eerie disappearance of Brandon Swanson, the college kid who called his parents after his car went into a ditch and then vanished while still on the phone with them. The timeline, the theories, and that sudden moment the call went silent make this one of those cases that will absolutely live in your head. Kerri covers the Signal Mountain Murders, a case that rocked a quiet Tennessee town and quickly turned into something way more disturbing than anyone expected. What starts with a brutal scene unfolds into a story of tension, violence, and a chain of events that left a whole community stunned. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Head to www.betterhelp.com/apc for 10% off today! If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna talks about the super eerie disappearance of Brandon Swanson, the college kid who called his parents after his car went into a ditch and then vanished while still on the phone with them. The timeline, the theories, and that sudden moment the call went silent make this one of those cases that will absolutely live in your head. Kerri covers the Signal Mountain Murders, a case that rocked a quiet Tennessee town and quickly turned into something way more disturbing than anyone expected. What starts with a brutal scene unfolds into a story of tension, violence, and a chain of events that left a whole community stunned. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Head to www.betterhelp.com/apc for 10% off today! If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amber had always been someone people counted on. A nurse. A mom. For most of her life, sleep wasn't something she worried about. It just happened. Then life changed. After her second baby — who arrived early and had some health problems — nights became more difficult. She'd lie down only to wait for the next cry. It felt easier to stay awake than to sleep. Years working as a NICU nurse added another layer. More responsibility. More pressure to perform. Sleep felt increasingly fragile and one night she couldn't sleep at all. Panic showed up. Heart racing. Mind spinning. Insomnia became something to fix. She researched. Tightened her routine. Optimized sleep hygiene. Tried teas. Tried prescriptions. Got in and out of bed. Tried relaxing harder. Tried doing everything “right.” Nothing worked. In fact, the harder she tried, the more she struggled. Nights became lonely and exhausting. Life started to revolve around sleep. Then, in the middle of the night, searching for help, she stumbled across stories of people who weren't fixing sleep — they were changing how they responded to being awake. Less fighting. More flexibility. More focus on living. It wasn't quick. It wasn't perfect. But little by little, Amber’s struggle loosened. And sleep stopped being the boss. Click here for a full transcript of this episode. Transcript Martin: Welcome to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. My name is Martin Reed. I believe that by changing how we respond to insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, we can move away from struggling with insomnia and toward living the life we want to live. Martin: The content of this podcast is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied. Martin: Okay. So Amber, thank you so much for taking the time out for your day to come onto the podcast. Amber: Thank you. Martin: Let’s start right at the very beginning, as always. Can you tell us when your issues with sleep first began and what you think might have caused those initial issues with sleep? Amber: Yeah. For the most part I’ve been a pretty good sleeper. Amber: However, I’ve had some points in my life where it’s become a little bit hard and I would say the first time that I noticed a significant change was that was after I had my second baby, he was early, he had some health problems. And I noticed, that I started losing my sleep then. Obviously every new mother does anyways, but I was worried about feeding him. Amber: I was worried about him getting enough to eat. I would get him settled and then I would lay down and just be waiting for that next cry. And so it was like almost easier to stay awake in a way, but not in the long run. So that was the first time I noticed it. And then the bulk of my career I have been a NICU nurse, which also made me a little anxious about my newborns. Amber: Sometimes I would be a little bit anxious before certain shifts. Not always, ’cause I worked for 25 years and it was great. But occasionally I would be anxious about getting to bed and in time and getting enough sleep. And so I noticed it there. And then I went back to school a few years ago to become a nurse practitioner and I probably had a little bit of a harder time sleeping during school. Amber: I got a lot more sensitive to my husband’s snoring during that time and, very light sleeper. And then after that, when I got my first job as a nurse practitioner, I was very on edge and very anxious. And while I was orienting for that job, I did not get a lot of sleep. I still at that time wasn’t paying a lot of attention to the sleep itself. Amber: Just aware that I wasn’t sleeping enough. Then I would say a couple years ago is where it really came to a head. I had various just normal life stresses going on with various kids and things. And one night I just could not sleep. And I started to recognize that I was having a bit of panic attack and I had some experience with panic and anxiety in the past, like mainly around that baby that I told you about. Amber: I had learned to work through that and I really hadn’t experienced a lot of it for probably a good decade and a half, but I noticed it that night and that generated a real fear response to me. And I thought, I remember distinctly having thought, oh my gosh, is this gonna keep me from sleeping now? And that’s, that was the hallmark. Amber: That’s what started it. And it became its own beast from that point on. Martin: You can recall a lot of times in your life when there were some stressors going on, for want of a better word, and that impacted your sleep. But it tended to be the case that once those initial triggers were no longer present or as relevant, things tended to get back on track. Amber: I had experienced times in the past where my anxiety was higher and I have always known that my personality goes a little in that direction, but it was manageable. I had been able to manage it and I had learned to manage it pretty well previous to that. Amber: But this time it I think the fear that it was going to affect my sleep, I did not know how to deal with that, and that scared me on a whole new level. And so now I feel like I was dealing with two things, just, being an anxious sort and now not being able to sleep on top of that. Amber: I value my health and I work in healthcare and so I do pay attention to details for sure. Amber: And getting enough sleep was very important to me. I know all the health benefits of that I’ve, and so the thought of not being able to have that and trying to function without it was quite terrifying to me, especially thinking of taking care of other people’s health. Martin: So you’ve got that added pressure to perform sleep because it’s not just about you, it’s also about all the other people you’re interacting with and caring for each day. What were you doing to try and get things back on track? Amber: I just go right to trying to problem solve. And of course that’s an important part of my job. That’s how I’ve dealt with being a mother and any other role I’ve had is to figure out, okay, what do I need to do differently? Amber: I need to understand this better. I’m gonna research it. I’m going to read about it. I’m gonna see what other people do and I’m gonna try all those things just, and I’m gonna, I’m gonna fix this. That’s what I thought. I’m gonna fix it. And so I did several different things. A lot of things that I’ve heard described on your other episodes. Amber: Sleep hygiene was a big thing, and that is actually something I talked to patients about. And so I thought I need to make my sleep hygiene better and I need to make sure I get in bed at a certain time and have everyone be quiet. I can’t have my noise in my room. I need to be really relaxed, so I’ve got to force myself to be relaxed. Amber: Try some of the sleep herbal teas. I don’t love medication, so I was trying not to go there in the beginning. Eventually I did go and try some medication. I have plenty of nurse practitioner friends that could write me a prescription for something. And so I tried various things, but only briefly I will say I, because I quickly realized that there was no medication that was helping. Amber: It might help initially. And then very quickly I discovered that my alarm system was stronger than the medication. And I think I tried maybe two or three different things and I just thought, I’m not gonna do this anymore. ’cause I don’t really wanna be on it anyways and it’s not helping. So yeah, I tried all those things. Amber: It was a difficult time. Amber: There was one night where I tried Ambien. I had tried hydroxyzine, I had tried Trazodone. Those two didn’t help at all. Amber: And one night I tried Ambien and I knew as a professional that’s not a medication that you want to take for very long ’cause it can really be disrupted to sleep. But by that point I was so desperate that I thought maybe if I took it a couple nights, it would help reset me. And that was even the term that the provider I talked to and I had was that maybe I needed a couple nights of reset. Amber: And I, so the first night I tried it and I was really relieved knowing that I had it that night. So I think my anxiety went down quite a bit right there. ’cause I knew I had something that was going to help and I just slept like a log that night. And so I thought, great this is it. I’m gonna do this a couple nights, I’m gonna get rid of it and I’m gonna move on and be normal again. Amber: And the very next night I took it and I slept really hard for maybe two hours and then I was up the rest of the night and I was pretty blown away that I had overpowered that medication that I knew to be pretty strong. And so from, I just threw it out at that point because I thought this isn’t working and it’s not gonna, it’s gonna, give me side effects anyway, so I don’t want it. Amber: So yeah I was really to the end of my rope at that point. I didn’t know what else to do. Martin: I think a lot of people will identify with at least some kind of aspect of your experience with the medication there. You’ve got that thing and it can feel like a sense of relief. Martin: It’s almost like you’re delegating all of the effort that you might felt you had to put into sleep to try and make it happen, now it’s not your issue anymore, it’s down to whatever this thing is. So you take it and it’s that’s it. Now there’s no more effort. There’s no more trying, there’s no more pressure, there’s no more performance anxiety, and that in itself can just immediately create better conditions for sleep. Martin: Maybe the real issue is all the understandable trying and the pressure and the effort. Amber: Yeah that’s very true. And as you were talking, I actually was thinking of something else I tried. I had an another provider tell me to at night it was a CBT thing. It was to get out of bed when I started feeling those anxious feelings so that I wouldn’t associate my bed with that anxiety. Amber: And I thought that makes sense ’cause I’m really struggling when I’m laying in my bed. And she told me also to pull out the Old Testament and read Leviticus ’cause it’s really boring. And maybe that would help. And I did it and it was boring. But I found after a while it, it helped a bit initially, but I found after a while that the exercise of getting in and out of bed when I was feeling anxiety was adding to my anxiety. Amber: ’cause I was just like, oh, here I go again. I’ve, been in bed for 15 minutes. I gotta get out again. It was just something else I had to keep track of. Martin: Did it almost feel like an additional punishment on top of being awake, this kind of obligation that I should be getting out of bed as well? Amber: Yes, it did. Very much yeah, it was not relaxing to me. Martin: I’ve had guests on the podcast that have found it really helpful to get out of bed during the night, and I have other guests just like yourself that did not find it helpful to get out of bed during the night. Martin: And I think really it just comes down to what our intent is. If we are getting out of bed because we are trying to get rid of anxiety or thoughts or feelings or to get rid of insomnia, to make ourselves feel sleepy again, to make sleep happen, then we might be setting ourselves up for some struggle if our experience tells us that’s out of our control if we’re getting out of bed, just because to us, that feels like a more productive way of spending our time awake during the night. Martin: Maybe that is gonna be helpful for you. And if your goal is to just use that time awake in a way that’s more useful, that involves less struggling, we can then see that it doesn’t matter, does it? You can do that in bed. You can do that out of bed. Because our goal is just to experience this with less struggle. Martin: It’s the struggle that kind of adds all that extra difficulty on top. Amber: That is very true. And that is what I had to come to. It took me a while. And I know I actually emailed you a few times about, I wanted you to tell me exactly what to do and of course you won’t do that. Amber: Your answers are to help people search themselves to find out what they need to do because it is very individual. And I finally came to. I just need to see how I feel in the moment. If it feels better, if I want to stay in bed, then I’m gonna do that. But if the feelings of, I don’t know, anxiety or restlessness, get too much for me and I would rather do something out of my bed, then I’ll do that. Amber: So I really ended up not having a certain way of doing things, which I think was a key. Martin: You were giving yourself more flexibility. Whereas when we were in problem solving mode, it’s I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this. And they’ve got this long list, haven’t we? Amber: Yeah, the algorithm. Martin: Exactly. Yeah. But then when we start to ease up a little bit, don’t cling onto it quite so tightly, we can become a little bit more flexible. And that in itself can be quite freeing, right? Because Amber: it is Martin: now we realize we’ve got options again, and that just opens things up a little bit. Martin: That doesn’t mean that things are just immediately gonna change, but it can just relieve some of that weight from our shoulders and help us realize that we can choose what we want to do. Amber: It’s quite liberating actually, when you get to that point. Martin: Just to rewind a little bit, what was an average night like for you back then, if there was such a thing? Amber: In the beginning, just sheer difficulty. It was miserable. It was absolutely miserable. I felt very isolated and very alone because of course everyone else in my house is completely out sleeping beautifully. And I am not. Amber: And it seemed to me like everybody in the neighborhood was sleeping great too. And I am up pacing and walking the hallways or trying to, focus on something that I can’t focus on. Having a lot of an anxious feelings. It just was awful. And then dreading the next day when I was going to be exhausted and very certain I wasn’t going to be able to perform in any of my roles the way I wanted to. Amber: That was the beginning. As time went on, that very slowly improved, but I did still have a lot of difficult nights as I moved forward. Martin: How was this influencing your days when you were still tangled up in the struggle? Amber: Yeah, that was really hard. I called in sick the next day at work and I hardly ever call in sick. I think I’ve missed, gosh, two days and two and a half years. I really, but I didn’t think I could be capable of my job the next day, and I was terrified of myself and terrified of how I would let down other people. Amber: And so I stayed home and just continued to suffer at home. And then, I mentioned my job a lot. That’s a really important role to me. But of my most important role is that of mother. And as family member to my family. And I also felt like I was not able to do a good job there. I felt like I was not quite present. Amber: They could tell that I just wasn’t as happy or didn’t have the energy. I wasn’t doing things that I enjoyed as much. It was just really became enclosed in myself and an obsessed about how I could fix this problem, not a good way to live. Martin: It makes sense why you called in sick to work not only for yourself, for your own wellbeing. It felt what if I might make a mistake at work because I can’t really focus. I’m so distracted. So it’s completely understandable why you would do that. And then at the same time, when you call in sick, you’re not doing that career or that job that might feel important to you. Martin: That’s reflection of who you are. It’s all this stuff influences your actions in a way that you get pulled away from that life you want to live. And that could be your work, your home life, your family life, your identity. It just feels like your actions start to serve insomnia, sleep, all these thoughts and feelings rather than your actions serving you, who you are and the life you want to live. Martin: And that just makes it all so much more difficult. Amber: Yeah, that’s so true. It’s like insomnia became the boss. Amber: I wasn’t new to the sensation of anxiety or panic. I had episodes of that in the past and I was feeling pretty confident that I knew how to handle that. ’cause it had been so long and I had moved through some really difficult things in my life. Amber: And I did okay. So then this thing came along and it was mysterious because I’d had this confidence so I could handle anxiety and difficult things. But this was a whole new thing and it caused me to go right down to the bottom again and go, what is wrong with me? What is wrong with my brain? Amber: Why I felt like I wasn’t doing it to myself, but I couldn’t understand how or why I was doing it to myself. So yes, very mysterious and very difficult for me to understand in the beginning. Martin: When you came across my work, what made you think that there was something different or something new or opened up this possibility that there’s a new way forward here? Amber: As probably most people that encounter your work it was in the middle of the night while I was on, looking for help in the middle of the night because I was just desperate. And I stumbled upon some of your, maybe one of your YouTubes, I think, and you were interviewing somebody like this. Amber: I listened to the person’s story and I thought, oh my gosh, that sounds exactly like how I feel right now. They were really expressing how desperate they were in the beginning and how confusing all the feelings I was feeling at the time. And so that really grabbed my attention because I heard the same level of desperation in this person’s description of themself, and yet they were now being interviewed by you and having worked through that. Amber: And so it gave me hope. And as I listened to it more, I realized that it actually was very similar to how I had learned to manage anxious thoughts or anxiety in the past. And that was to let them happen. So it was a different level of learning how to let something happen. So that cognitive understanding started coming. Amber: The more I would listen to your things on YouTube and your podcasts, I had, I felt like it made sense. It resonated with me. Martin: This is why I’m just so grateful that people like yourself are willing to come on because it, it can be so powerful to hear these journeys and these stories. Martin: There’s that validation. There’s the acknowledgement that you’re not alone, and then there’s that hope, and you had the bonus of being familiar with an approach of opening up to insomnia, opening up to panic, fear, anxiety. Amber: It’s a paradoxical thing that, that is how you get through it is by actually allowing it to happen. Amber: So that, that was a pivotal moment for me and started my process of recovery, which certainly didn’t happen overnight. But the cognitive understanding was there. Martin: So in terms of allowing it to happen, in a practical sense, how do you allow insomnia, for example, to happen when you really don’t want it to happen. Martin: How do you allow anxiety to happen when you really don’t want it to happen? What does that look like in, in terms of practical action? Amber: Yeah. That that, that was the next big hurdle was trying to figure that out. I asked that question of myself and of you, I think several times again, and it’s not something that you can figure out overnight. Amber: It takes a lot of practice. I think ongoing practice, I don’t think that practice ever ends because there’s always a new layer of things. Amber: One of them was to not beat myself up for things, because I realized that when I would get really frustrated and go, why can’t I do this? Why can’t I? What’s, why do I think this? Amber: Why is my brain so busy? Why do I think I have to problem solve everything? Why? I realized that I was just throwing fuel on the fire. I was just putting more pressure on myself. Friend said to me one morning, something that stuck with me, and you actually repeated in an email something very similar. Amber: She said I would never change your problem solving mind. It makes you who you are and look at all the things you’ve been able to do and accomplish. Because of the way your mind works and who would you be without your mind the way you were? And you had said something pretty similar to me about that too. Amber: So from that point on, I started looking at that differently and not flogging myself for just being who I am and seeing the benefit of the way my brain works. That was a big realization for me. And then another one was to realize when I was starting to try to prob over problem solve, maybe, oh, it worked this night but this didn’t work that night. Amber: Maybe I did it a little bit wrong. Maybe you know, I’m not following the algorithm. It was frustrating ’cause professionally, I really do have to follow algorithms a lot. And so I was having to pull away from that natural way of thinking. And not get stuck in this loop of problem solving and just letting it be, not worrying about it so much. Martin: Step one perhaps was, not beating yourself up over something that your own experience is telling you is out of your control. If you could have made a certain amount or type of sleep happen, you would’ve, you’d be doing it, right? If you could magically and permanently delete anxiety from your mind, you would’ve done it. Martin: But your experience tells you that’s not possible. You tried and tried. The conclusion from your experience was that’s not possible. So it sounds like part of your journey towards opening up a little bit more to this difficult stuff that you’d rather not experience is to acknowledge that it is out of your control and that your mind isn’t working against you, it’s not your adversary, even though it can sometimes feel that way. Martin: Because anxiety generally speaking doesn’t feel good. We can see it as a negative thing or a bad thing. If only this anxiety will go away, I would be able to sleep. If only this anxiety would go away, I would be able to be the person I want to be. Martin: But the brain generates anxiety because it’s trying to give us information about something. It’s trying to remind us of something that’s important. It’s trying to protect us. It’s trying to look out for us. It’s trying to keep us safe, and it’s gonna do this whether there’s a real threat or not, because it’s hyper cautious. Martin: It’s focused on doom and gloom. ’cause all the good, happy, fluffy, safe stuff isn’t a threat or a concern. So the brain spends no time on that. It’s only ever gonna focus on what might happen or the worst possible outcome or the worst possible experience. Martin: If we feel anxious that maybe we left the gas stove on. And so we turn around in our driveway and we go back in, we find out we did leave the gas stove on. Is anxiety still a bad thing when it stopped our house from exploding? It’s like what we add on top of it that is the source of so much of our struggle. Amber: Yes, very true. I think, I started using an analogy in my head as I was figuring this out more as a NICU nurse, which. Amber: All those years, if you’ve ever been in, in a neonatal intensive care, there’s a lot of alarms that go off all the time. And so sometimes the nurses get a sense of whether it’s an alarm that needs to be paid attention to or not. And people who haven’t been in there are really on edge because they can just, why are we not getting on top of all these alarms, but the nurses like this one, this is okay. Amber: We’re okay. We don’t need to do anything about it. And I started to realize that’s what was probably going on in me is I, I had an alarm that had some value to it and at times I needed to, of course I need to attend to it. I don’t wanna not be fearful of anything. But it also can go off for things that are not really urgent or really emergent. Amber: It might be a mistake, it might be like in the nicu, maybe the baby’s wiggling and setting off their alarm, and it’s not a problem. So realizing that a little more was helpful to me. Martin: I think that’s a fantastic analogy and I love how you connected it to a real ongoing experience that’s relevant to your life. Martin: ‘Cause that always makes this stuff so much more powerful. And yeah, there’s, these alarms are going off. Sometimes they’re helpful, sometimes they’re useful, sometimes they’re less helpful, sometimes they’re not helpful, they’re not useful. Sometimes maybe they’re more of a distraction than anything else, but what are they? Martin: At the end of the day, they’re snippets of information and we get to decide how to respond. The alternative approach if you’re in that ward is to just be so focused on, I must not hear any alarms today. I can’t hear any alarms. That’s first of all, that’s just gonna take so much of your energy, focus and attention. Martin: How are you gonna be able to care for your patients and do the stuff that matters when your brain is, all of its capacity is on trying to avoid hearing an alarm. Amber: And as time went on, I think my alarm system got a little smarter. I wasn’t going off as much because it wasn’t bothering me as much. Amber: One other thing that’s come to me while we’ve been talking that I also realized I had a few different epiphanies while going through this, and I realized, I kept realizing different levels at which I was trying to force something to happen. Initially it was trying to force sleep. Amber: Then it was trying to force myself to relax and not have anxiety. And then when I started doing your program and going about it that way, then I was trying to force myself to be okay or maybe even being awake or be okay with the anxiety. And I wasn’t. And it took me a while to realize, oh, I don’t have to like this actually, I can acknowledge this is hard. Amber: It is not. This is not ideal. This is not what I wanna do. This is not how I wanna feel. And that’s okay. But I can make a choice here. I do have a choice in what I’m gonna do next. I can have a choice in my discernment. And that was probably one of the bigger epiphanies that I had. ’cause that one really carried out over into other parts of my life too. Martin: I’m glad you made that point because when we hear about this idea of reducing our resistance to something that we don’t really want to experience or to accept it, this whole philosophy of acceptance, a common reservation I guess that people have is but I’m not okay with this. How do I make myself be okay with something that I’m not okay with? Martin: I want to be asleep. I don’t want to be awake. And that’s where we can get tripped up. Because it’s not about pretending that you are okay with it. It’s not about pretending that you enjoy being awake pretending that fatigue doesn’t exist, pretending that anxiety doesn’t make things more difficult, that you enjoy it, that it’s great to experience. Martin: It’s about accepting that this stuff is gonna show up and it’s trying to fight it or avoid it just makes things more difficult. And it’s about, just as you touched upon, bringing your focus back to how you choose to respond to it when it shows up. Choosing to respond in a workable way, a way that isn’t going to layer on all these extra pieces of difficulty and struggle on top of it when it shows up. So I’m really glad you mentioned that because I think that is important. Amber: Yeah. Yeah. I think that is important. I think that’s a really common misconception when someone starts back on this journey, whether it’s insomnia or trying to deal with anxiety, is then trying to figure out how am I supposed to be okay and enjoying this? And you really can’t, that’s not, that’s really not what we’re trying to do here. Amber: It’s okay to acknowledge that it’s hard. Martin: It might even be essential to acknowledge that it’s hard and that in itself might be part of opening up to it. Amber: Yeah. Agreed. Amber: I have memory of when I was young, when as a child and I’d get the stomach flu and I had to throw up. It was just a horrible thing. I did not wanna throw up. I would fight it, and my mom would come with me to the toilet, she would hold my head up and she would just rub my back. Amber: And she would keep saying, just let it come. Just let it come. And I trusted her, and I would let it come, and I would let you know, have the release, and then I would feel better. And it’s more like that to me now. It’s I can let this happen. It doesn’t feel good right now. Might even feel worse before it’s done, but it’s not gonna stay this way. Amber: I know that now. So that’s a different thing. And then instead of getting really frustrated with my busy brains that likes to think about everything and figure out everything. Now it’s more oh, let’s just see what’s on, what’s on TV tonight? What’s on the brain tonight? Amber: I’m more like, wow, look at my busy brain. Isn’t that amazing? It can bounce back and forth. To this, that and the other. And it goes fast. Sometimes it’s a little fast for me, but I’m actually more grateful for it now ’cause it helps me keep track of a lot of things and stay on top of a lot of things. Amber: So I look at that differently as well. Amber: Another big learning point is what what I can control and what I cannot, and to, there are a lot of things we cannot control and to try to control them, escape from them, or numb yourself to them, distract yourself, it just adds to something that might already be difficult. Amber: So letting those things be, and then finding where I can control, which is my actions, my response I went into, when I started this out, I did try some meditation, but my understanding of meditation has changed so much in the beginning. I was trying to force myself to relax. I was trying to make my really naturally busy brain not think of anything, and it just doesn’t happen. Amber: And so that would become more and more frustrating to me. It was just a frustrating experience. I thought I’m never gonna get this down. Now. I choose to relax. I can relax my muscles and my body and I can let myself breathe. But it, you mentioned the word intent or motive in the beginning. My intent of my motive is different. Amber: It’s not to force total relaxation and calm and quiet my brain and not have thoughts. Now it’s, I am relaxing myself to allow them, if that makes sense. And it has been that has been a real game changer for me as well, because I realize the more I do that, oh, actually, I. I don’t really feel that anxious anymore. Amber: It’s just gotten better and better. It doesn’t mean I don’t have anxiety, but I’ve, I have a very different approach now and it feels so doable to me compared to the way it used to feel. Martin: Would you say it’s almost like you are practicing and building skill in experiencing, I’m just gonna say anxiety ’cause that’s the last one that you mentioned. Martin: Experiencing anxiety with less struggle. So it’s showing up, but it’s losing the more you practice experiencing it with less resistance, it’s almost like it starts to lose its power and influence. So it still shows up, but it’s not as strong, it’s not as distracting. It’s not got that power it once maybe held over you. Amber: That’s exactly what’s happening now. The thing if I, if for example, if I go to bed and I’m worried about one of my kids or a patient I saw, and it’s leaving me with this unrest inside. I, now we’ll just realize, okay, I’m going into one of these loops where I’m thinking about this a lot, worrying about it all. Amber: The worry in the world is not gonna change it. I’m gonna just name I’m feeling this way because this is going on, or this is happening and I’m just gonna allow it to happen. I’m gonna relax and allow it to happen. I can maybe think of some more solutions tomorrow, or I can check in on the thing. I just start coming up with things I can do. Amber: To help it. And it really has it has more of a profound effect on me in helping me get through this. Martin: Whilst you were talking, I was thinking back to that alarm analogy you were sharing, and I was thinking that maybe a brand new member of staff, maybe they’ve just finished their training and they’re in that ward for the first time, hearing all those alarms go off, it must be terrifying. Martin: It feels like you’ve really thrown in the deep end, but then as you build up that experience of listening to those alarms going off nonstop choosing through experience on how you’re responding to each of one, each of them, the alarms are still going off, but they’re not having that huge effect on you, that huge physiological effect on you anymore. Amber: Yeah, that’s exactly right. It’s very it’s very comparable to that experience. Martin: How does this transfer to sleep then? So we’ve talked about opening up to the thoughts and the feelings. How does that get you to a place where you are not struggling with sleep anymore? Amber: With sleep it’s really was the same thing. Amber: The, I bring up anxiety a lot because I feel like the anxiety and the lack of sleep was just so intertwined with this experience. I did have to become more okay with being awake and that took time. And your direction on choosing values, value-based activities was very helpful to me because I’m very aware of what my values are and you know what things lead me more towards those and that type of life I wanna live and. Amber: So I did go I went through a very sleepless period of time. I think there was one time where I felt like I didn’t get sleep for three nights in a row. Sometimes I don’t know that we’re totally aware of how much sleep we actually get, but that’s what it felt like to me. And I actually carried on. Amber: I didn’t feel my best. Of course it wasn’t great, but I carried on very normally for those days and I was able to see, wow, I was able to accomplish, these things at work, at home. I had connection with people. I laughed with people. I had some good conversations. And so that was a big confidence builder to see that I actually really can do a lot without sleep. Amber: It doesn’t feel, the way I like to feel, but I can do it. And so it took some of the fear out of that for me, and that was very helpful. Martin: Maybe it comes down to exploring what we can do that might make this whole experience a little bit less difficult or a little bit less traumatic. It sounds like one way that you moved toward that goal was by committing to actions that reflected your values, living the kind of life you wanted to live, even when sleep wasn’t showing up. Martin: And by doing that, I think a natural byproduct maybe, is that we do start to get a little bit more comfortable with being awake because it’s not having such a huge impact over our lives anymore. Even if it’s just a 10th of a percentage point better, we’ve got that 10th of a percentage point more control over our lives now. Martin: It can snowball. So we become a little bit more comfortable with being awake. That’s not to say we want to be awake, but we just start to get a little bit more comfortable with it. We are less resistant to it. It’s not gonna pull us into quite so much of a struggle and in effect. That kind lowers it down on our list of priorities, perhaps for our problem solving brain. Martin: Our brain’s oh, maybe we don’t have to fight this quite so hard. We don’t have to engage in this battle. And when we are not engaged in that battle conditions for sleep just become better because we’re not in the middle of a battleground at two o’clock in the morning. We’re awake. We’re experiencing all these thoughts and these feelings, but we’re not in a battleground anymore. Amber: That’s absolutely correct. And since then, my attitude now I’ve had a couple of circumstances with maybe a teenage child that’s, been late for curfew coming home or maybe a medical issue with somebody that I need to help with. It’s late in tonight. And instead of thinking, oh my gosh, I’m not gonna get sleep now, I’m like, bring it. I can stay up and I can handle tomorrow. I’ve done it for three nights in a row. Amber: I, it doesn’t scare me like it used to. So it’s a big shift in my perspective on that now. Martin: That is a really big shift. I’m curious to know, as you were practicing this whole new approach that we’ve been talking about, did you find that progress was just it was kinda like this up upward curve where things just progressively got better and easier and less struggle. Martin: Or was it more kind of ups and downs, or was it more just like someone had thrown a plate of spaghetti against the wall and it was just all over the place? What was it like for you? Amber: I like the spaghetti analogy that it probably felt like that for a while. All over the place. I keep using the term cognitive understanding because in my head I could understand what you were saying or what I was hearing from other people. Amber: It made sense to me. It resonated and I knew this was the way to do it, but anything else I’ve had to learn, whether it is becoming a nurse or a nurse practitioner or I used to run a lot of marathons, learning the best way to do that. Learning it in the book can make absolute sense. Amber: And you think you’ve got it, but then actually putting it into reality and doing it experientially is an entirely different thing. And that does not come as quickly and it takes a lot of practice. And that’s exactly what happened with this. It took a lot of practice and I had a lot of ups and downs. I have a plate of spaghetti. Martin: Yeah. And like when you’re learning any new skill there’s gonna be times when it maybe things feel easy, that you’re making great progress, you’re ahead of schedule, and then there’s gonna be times where it feels like nothing is working. You’re doomed to failure, you’re beyond help that you need to go back down that rabbit hole of looking for some something else to do instead. Martin: I love the fact that you drew in your experience, in marathon running in your own career, the skills, achievements, they take a lot of practice, they take a lot of action, they take a commitment to action, and they also come with ups and downs, and they also come with all those thoughts and feelings that I just gave a few examples of, this isn’t working. We should give in. Martin: If we think of where we’re most skilled in life, that wasn’t just immediately given to us, we had to earn it, and we earned it through committed action. Even if it’s just doing a little bit every day, it all adds up. It’s just continuing to do things that move us in the direction that we want to be heading. Amber: Absolutely. And I do think when you start making that initial improvement, so when I first started to improve and I had a few good nights of sleep and I thought, oh, this is it. I’ve arrived. I figured it out. And then you have your first whatever you wanna call it, set bump, or, barrier in the road and you have another bad night. Amber: It can be really deflating. ’cause you thought, oh, I figured this out and now this isn’t working, and what did I do wrong? You start, you catch yourself going through all of the same rabbit hole again. And so it is, there is a lot of patients required with those setbacks, they are going to continue to happen. Amber: And I heard. I don’t remember where I heard it, but I heard someone say that they those types of setbacks come up for a reason. It’s an opportunity to practice. It just means that you need to practice again. It’s not really a bad thing, it’s just an opportunity to refine a skill. And again, changing the way I looked at those, ’cause those were pretty, they’re pretty hard, those setbacks once you start on the road to recovery. Martin: 100%. And especially like you said early on especially if you’re really early in your journey and maybe you string some good nights together, or you have a few days where you notice you’re not completely overwhelmed with all these thoughts and feelings and you can feel really confident and motivated, yes, this is working, I’m doing really well. Martin: And it can be so deflating and difficult when the difficult stuff shows up again. And even when you are further along in your journey, there can be lots of ups and downs and it can feel like you’re, it’s almost like your brain is, whoa, you’re back to square one. Martin: Everything you’ve been doing up to this point was a complete waste of time, waste of effort. The truth is that it’s just your brain looking out for you. Again, the truth is you’ve just had this experience of some difficult nights or some nights where less sleep happened or some nights of no sleep, or you’ve noticed those thoughts and feelings showing up and gaining a little bit more power. Martin: That’s what’s happened. Anything else that you are getting from that is stuff that we are understandably adding on top because we still don’t want to experience it. But what matters is identifying this is a normal part of any journey and that it is about how we choose to respond. And that’s something that we always have power over. Martin: We have the power over our choice of actions, and it’s easy to respond in the way we wanna respond. When things feel good, when things feel easy, it’s when things feel difficult, that it’s most important we respond in the way that reflects how we wanna respond, and that’s really what counts. Martin: How long would you say it took for you to get to a point where insomnia and all the thoughts and the feelings that can show up with it and after it weren’t creating a struggle for you that you could do things that matter, live your life, do what’s important to you, independently off sleep, and even in the presence of uncomfortable, difficult thoughts and feelings. Amber: I think it’s hard to put a specific number on that because in the journey, I feel like I, I would go to that for quite a while and then maybe have a little, regression or whatever, and then I would go back to that. Amber: But I will say, I think over time those regressions would get further and further apart. And so maybe six to eight months is where I started feeling like I was settling in back into my more normal self, my more baseline self. Martin: Yeah, that’s helpful because I think it’s a reminder that really what we’ve been talking about this whole time are skills. They’re action-based skills and skills. Take time to learn, to develop, to practice. There’s gonna be ups and downs, there’s gonna be setbacks. And that takes time. We all obviously want immediate results. We wanna be able to just deal with this right now. Martin: If I could offer that to people, I would offer it. I’d be a trillionaire. But it doesn’t work that way. It’s not easy, it’s difficult, and it requires ongoing practice. Amber: I can honestly say that even though there were times where I just feel like this really brought me to my knees I wouldn’t change it now because of the benefit I’ve gotten from it. I don’t think there, there’s things that I don’t think I could have learned in another way. I think it’s benefited how I’m able to help others and of course my values, my roles, my role as mother. Amber: Professionally as nurse practitioner or family member or friend, the people in my life, those are really important to me. And so this outlook and this focus of what I can and cannot control and how to allow these things to move through, to just be able to move through them and not go down the rabbit hole has been really helpful. Amber: I’m very empathetic towards people that are going through something similar and it doesn’t have to be insomnia because so many struggles go down this road, right? They don’t necessarily have to be insomnia. And of course professionally I hear a lot about these types of things. I’m in that type of a position, and so I do, I have a lot of empathy. Amber: I understand how things feel how difficult thoughts and feelings can fill, and I can give better guidance and direction. I can do that for my children and other people in my life. Martin: It can be really hard to think of any positive aspects to this struggle when you are in the midst of it. It can almost sound disrespectful to think that there could be a growth opportunity, or it could have somehow have any positive impact on our lives. But a common theme that runs through so many of these podcast episodes is this sense of growth that can only come from that journey that has been experienced. Amber: I mentioned how when I have had setbacks with insomnia or anxiety, I can see it more as an opportunity to practice. And so now when other things occur in my life that are difficult I think I can go to that maybe a little more quicker now because of that experience that here’s another opportunity. Amber: This is happening. How can I go about handling it? What can I control, what can I not? And let myself move through it. And then I would say even just day to day, I think I take more I have more gratitude for things too, because. I’m not struggling with the battle and the calv calvary, as you mentioned. Amber: Now I have more awareness of things around me that are important to me, or even small things like, good weather or flower. It does, it opens your eyes to other things. Martin: These are transferable skills. Martin: They don’t exist only for insomnia, only for anxiety. They can enrich or enhance your life in so many other ways, and that’s where you can end up coming out ahead. So like you shared, maybe now you’re finding yourself better at practicing gratitude. You find yourself better able to focus on values-based action. Martin: Maybe you’re getting more from life because your values have just become more front and center. And so you’re ensuring that your actions reflect who you are, who you want to be and your, you focus, the focus of your attention is expanded. So maybe you are able to savor a few more of those moments that we might once have been on autopilot and missed out on. Martin: If someone with chronic insomnia is listening. And they feel as though they’ve tried everything. They’re beyond help. They’ll never be able to stop struggling with insomnia. Martin: What would you say to them? Amber: Yes, I’ve anticipated that question and that’s really the reason I did this. I was a little reluctant in saying yes, but because this helped me so much, I couldn’t say no to you. Because this is doable. Even though you may be at the point where you feel like you’re completely broken, you’re completely alone. Amber: No one understands. I’ve tried, A through Z, it’s not working. It is doable. It’s not gonna happen overnight. But it will happen. And it’s the key things that we’ve been talking about. It’s practicing, it’s being patient with yourself in the process. It’s being kind with yourself in the process. Amber: It’s identifying what you have control over and what you do not. And, practicing those things over and over is really what will help this settle down. It’s very doable. Martin: Great. Thank you again, Amber, for coming on. It’s just been a pleasure listening to you describe your journey and your transformation. So thank you. Amber: Thank you. Martin: Thanks for listening to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. If you're ready to get your life back from insomnia, I would love to help. You can learn more about the sleep coaching programs I offer at Insomnia Coach — and, if you have any questions, you can email me. Martin: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Insomnia Coach Podcast. I'm Martin Reed, and as always, I'd like to leave you with this important reminder — you are not alone and you can sleep. I want you to be the next insomnia success story I share! If you're ready to stop struggling with sleep and get your life back from insomnia, you can start my insomnia coaching course at insomniacoach.com. Please share this episode!

Kerri breaks down the murder of Janet March, a case that began with a wife and mother vanishing from her home and spiraled into a decades-long legal nightmare. Donna travels across the Atlantic to explore the chilling legend of the Stockwell Ghost, a poltergeist case that gripped 19th-century London and left even skeptics uneasy. From violent disturbances to terrified witnesses, this eerie tale blurs the line between mass hysteria and something far more unsettling. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerri breaks down the murder of Janet March, a case that began with a wife and mother vanishing from her home and spiraled into a decades-long legal nightmare. Donna travels across the Atlantic to explore the chilling legend of the Stockwell Ghost, a poltergeist case that gripped 19th-century London and left even skeptics uneasy. From violent disturbances to terrified witnesses, this eerie tale blurs the line between mass hysteria and something far more unsettling. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is DEFINITELY a mental health crisis in the U.S. right now. But it's not about a lack of access to treatment or meds. Nearly one in four adults is on psychiatric meds, and nearly one in ten children is, as well. The crisis has to do with med-induced harm, according to Laura Delano, the author of "Unshrunk". And Laura speaks from her own first-hand experience with the American mental health industry. Since her early teen years, she has been on countless meds, including Seroquel, Prozac, Effexor, Provigil, Ambien, and Klonopin, all without any improvement in her worsening symptoms.   Today, she describes her own mental health journey, offers insights about what sparked her questioning of the system, and why she's concluded that we would do well to question the nature of the crisis and to get curious about how to promote wellbeing with alternatives to psychiatric drugs.   Visit Laura's website at lauradelano.com Sign up for the Weston A. Price Foundation's email list at westonaprice.org Check out our sponsors: Gray Toad Tallow and Green Pastures

Donna takes listeners back to 17th-century Paisley, Scotland, unraveling the chilling witch trials surrounding young Christian Shaw and the hysteria that gripped an entire town. What began as a child's accusation spiraled into executions, fear, and a dark chapter of Scottish history that still lingers today. Kerri covers the disturbing crimes of William Suff, known as The Riverside Prostitute Killer, whose reign of violence exposed terrifying gaps in how vulnerable victims were overlooked. The case examines his methods, the investigation that finally stopped him, and the devastating impact left in his wake. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna takes listeners back to 17th-century Paisley, Scotland, unraveling the chilling witch trials surrounding young Christian Shaw and the hysteria that gripped an entire town. What began as a child's accusation spiraled into executions, fear, and a dark chapter of Scottish history that still lingers today. Kerri covers the disturbing crimes of William Suff, known as The Riverside Prostitute Killer, whose reign of violence exposed terrifying gaps in how vulnerable victims were overlooked. The case examines his methods, the investigation that finally stopped him, and the devastating impact left in his wake. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dave Rubin of "The Rubin Report" talks to Dr. Josef Witt-Doerring about the worsening mental health crisis in America; why depression and suicide rates are rising despite record levels of psychiatric drug use; how the pharmaceutical industry is rushing psychiatry appointments, and creating an overreliance on medications; why many patients are misdiagnosed while lifestyle factors like diet, exercise, and substance use are ignored; his concerns about long-term effects and the surge in antidepressants and ADHD drugs prescribed to children; why non-drug, holistic approaches to mental health care need to be prioritized; the worsening mental health crisis in America; why depression and suicide rates are rising despite record levels of psychiatric drug use; how the pharmaceutical industry is rushing psychiatry appointments, and creating an overreliance on medications; why many patients are misdiagnosed while lifestyle factors like diet, exercise, and substance use are ignored; his concerns about long-term effects and the surge in antidepressants and ADHD drugs prescribed to children; why non-drug, holistic approaches to mental health care need to be prioritized; how modern culture and social media have trained people to chase happiness instead of meaning; how normal life struggles are increasingly medicalized as mental illness; why psychiatric drugs can offer short-term relief but don't fix root causes and often worsen outcomes long-term; the dangers of benzodiazepines like Xanax and Ambien; the dangers of "natural" supplements like ashwagandha that act as neurological drugs with risks of dependence; and much more.

Stef sits down with her friend Kim Evey to talk about Ambien addiction, being adopted, and adopting. She's funny and relatable and we think you'll like it!Please subscribe to Drunk-ish on YouTube! 

Kerri covers the shocking murder of Becky Bliefnick, a case that unfolded with betrayal, courtroom drama, and a relentless search for justice. What began as a troubled relationship ended in a crime that stunned an entire community. Donna dives into the chilling legend of the Cock Lane haunting in 18th-century London, one of the most famous ghost stories in history. From mysterious knocks to public séances, this eerie tale blurs the line between superstition, scandal, and deception. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerri covers the shocking murder of Becky Bliefnick, a case that unfolded with betrayal, courtroom drama, and a relentless search for justice. What began as a troubled relationship ended in a crime that stunned an entire community. Donna dives into the chilling legend of the Cock Lane haunting in 18th-century London, one of the most famous ghost stories in history. From mysterious knocks to public séances, this eerie tale blurs the line between superstition, scandal, and deception. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Laura Delano is the author of Unshrunk: A Story of Psychiatric Treatment Resistance. Laura was fourteen years old when she saw her first psychiatrist, which was not something openly discussed at the time in her wealthy hometown of Greenwich, CT. Over the next 14 years, Laura was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, social anxiety disorder, eating disorder, poly-substance dependence, and borderline personality disorder. These conditions earned her prescriptions for Seroquel, Abilify, Klonopin, Ativan, Ambien, Prozac, Effexor, Celexa, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, lithium, and many more. During this time, she engaged in self-harm, spent time in psychiatric hospitals, and attempted to take her own life. In 2010, Laura decided she had had enough with all the diagnoses and the drugs. Her book tells the story of how she weaned herself from this medical regimen and found a stable life free of prescriptions. You've gotta listen to this conversation. Laura and I talk about mental health, the pharmaceutical industry, how her behavior affected those around her, how her family dealt with their difficult sister and daughter, and how that love finally helped to see her through.Btw, the ‘80s punk band whose name I couldn't remember around the 10-minute mark is Suicidal Tendencies. Thanks to my pal, “Nashville Ben” for recommending Laura's book for me. Please rate and review ⁠⁠Reasonably Happy⁠⁠ (DO IT!)  Subscribe to Paul's ⁠⁠Substack newsletter⁠⁠. Check out Laura's website here.  NOTHING IN THIS EPISODE SHOULD BE REGARDED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING PHYSICAL OR MENTAL DISTRESS, PLEASE SEEK THE HELP OF A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. ALSO, DO NOT CHANGE YOUR PRESCRIPTION REGIMEN W/O CONSULTING YOUR DOCTOR.

Donna takes us to Shawville, Quebec, where the infamous Dagg family haunting has terrified generations, complete with poltergeist activity, whispered curses, and a house that refused to stay quiet. Is it folklore, mass hysteria, or something far darker still lingering in that small Canadian town? Kerri covers the shocking deaths of the Carman family, a case you may recognize from Netflix, involving unexplained tragedies and mounting suspicions within one family. As the body count rises, questions about accidents, intent, and accountability refuse to stay buried. But is Nathan Carman responsible? This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. For 10% off, head to www.betterhelp.com/apc to get started today! If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna takes us to Shawville, Quebec, where the infamous Dagg family haunting has terrified generations, complete with poltergeist activity, whispered curses, and a house that refused to stay quiet. Is it folklore, mass hysteria, or something far darker still lingering in that small Canadian town? Kerri covers the shocking deaths of the Carman family, a case you may recognize from Netflix, involving unexplained tragedies and mounting suspicions within one family. As the body count rises, questions about accidents, intent, and accountability refuse to stay buried. But is Nathan Carman responsible? This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. For 10% off, head to www.betterhelp.com/apc to get started today! If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

In this powerful episode of the Sober Motivation Podcast, Brad sits down with Jess, who shares her raw and honest sobriety story. Jess opens up about childhood trauma, sexual assault, military service in the Air Force, prescription drug addiction, Ambien misuse, alcohol dependence, and the moment that nearly ended her life. Jess also shares what it took to rebuild from the ground up — treatment, sober living, a complete life reset, and the mindset shift that helped her move from victim to survivor. Today, Jess is approaching 9 years sober and is finishing her PhD in psychology with a focus on addiction and recovery. This episode is a powerful reminder that addiction can hide in plain sight — and that long-term recovery is possible, even after unimaginable pain. Jess On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessosborn0824/

Kerri covers a disturbing case out of Tennessee involving funeral home owner Bobby Wilks, accused of betraying grieving families in ways no one could have imagined. What begins as a trusted community business slowly unravels into a story of deception, neglect, and profound harm.Donna explores the bizarre phenomenon in Kalachi, Kazakhstan—often called the real-life “Sleepy Hollow”—where entire villages began falling asleep without warning. As scientists search for answers, the mystery only deepens, raising unsettling questions about what was really happening there.If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerri covers a disturbing case out of Tennessee involving funeral home owner Bobby Wilks, accused of betraying grieving families in ways no one could have imagined. What begins as a trusted community business slowly unravels into a story of deception, neglect, and profound harm. Donna explores the bizarre phenomenon in Kalachi, Kazakhstan—often called the real-life “Sleepy Hollow”—where entire villages began falling asleep without warning. As scientists search for answers, the mystery only deepens, raising unsettling questions about what was really happening there. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

It was two years into a vicious cycle of depression and Mike Doughty was falling apart. He was taking more Ambien than he had been prescribed, importing huge boxes of the stuff from India, waking up to find packs of cigarettes, candy wrappers, and pizza boxes with no memory of leaving his Memphis home to make such purchases. He was convinced something was deeply wrong with his heart even though every doctor said there wasn't. Finally, he checked into an in-patient facility that turned out to be wonderful and productive. Then he checked out. Then Mike, a recovering addict, started drinking heavily and smoking weed. Then he checked back in again. Mike Doughty is showing improvement now and talks about his treatment, his recovery, and touring again with his band Soul Coughing again 24 years after a bitter breakup.Thank you to all our listeners who support the show as monthly members of Maximum Fun.Check out our I'm Glad You're Here and Depresh Mode merchandise at the brand new merch website MaxFunStore.com!Hey, remember, you're part of Depresh Mode and we want to hear what you want to hear about. What guests and issues would you like to have covered in a future episode? Write us at depreshmode@maximumfun.org.Depresh Mode is on BlueSky, Instagram, Substack, and you can join our Preshies Facebook group. Help is available right away.The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-8255, 1-800-273-TALKCrisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.International suicide hotline numbers available here: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

Kerri covers a disturbing case out of Tennessee involving funeral home owner Bobby Wilks, accused of betraying grieving families in ways no one could have imagined. What begins as a trusted community business slowly unravels into a story of deception, neglect, and profound harm.Donna explores the bizarre phenomenon in Kalachi, Kazakhstan—often called the real-life “Sleepy Hollow”—where entire villages began falling asleep without warning. As scientists search for answers, the mystery only deepens, raising unsettling questions about what was really happening there.If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Kerri covers a disturbing case out of Tennessee involving funeral home owner Bobby Wilks, accused of betraying grieving families in ways no one could have imagined. What begins as a trusted community business slowly unravels into a story of deception, neglect, and profound harm. Donna explores the bizarre phenomenon in Kalachi, Kazakhstan—often called the real-life “Sleepy Hollow”—where entire villages began falling asleep without warning. As scientists search for answers, the mystery only deepens, raising unsettling questions about what was really happening there. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Before insomnia entered Abbie's life, sleep was effortless. She'd never had to think about it. She fell asleep quickly, stayed asleep, and moved through her days without giving sleep much attention at all. It was simply there — reliable and unremarkable. That changed in the fall of 2021 after a short illness. One sleepless night turned into another, and before long, sleep became the center of everything. What started as confusion quickly grew into anxiety and pressure. Each night felt like a test. Each morning felt heavier. As the nights passed, fear took over — fear of being awake, fear of not functioning, fear that something was permanently wrong. Like many people facing insomnia, Abbie did what made sense. She tried to fix it. She went to bed earlier and earlier. She canceled plans. She followed strict routines. She tried supplements. She searched for answers. And each attempt came with hope — followed by disappointment when sleep didn't show up. Over time, life began to shrink around sleep, and the struggle only intensified. Days became just as difficult as nights. Her mind stayed locked on one question: Am I going to sleep tonight? Anxiety filled the hours. Dread set in as evening approached. Even when she was exhausted, her heart raced and her thoughts refused to slow down. What began to shift things wasn't a new fix — it was a change in how she responded. Abbie started noticing that withdrawing from life wasn't helping. Staying in bed wasn't restoring her energy. And fighting her thoughts wasn't bringing relief. Slowly, she began doing something different: showing up to her life even when sleep felt uncertain. She experimented with staying up later instead of trying to force sleep. She returned to the gym. She made plans. She studied. She lived — without waiting for sleep to cooperate. And over time, something important changed. Sleep became less of a battleground. Her thoughts lost their grip. And trust — in herself and in her body — started to rebuild. In this conversation, Abbie shares what it was like to move through insomnia, how her relationship with sleep changed, and why easing the struggle — not fixing sleep — made all the difference. Click here for a full transcript of this episode. Transcript Martin: Welcome to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. My name is Martin Reed. I believe that by changing how we respond to insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, we can move away from struggling with insomnia and toward living the life we want to live. Martin: The content of this podcast is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied. Martin: Okay. Abbie, thank you so much for taking the time out for your day to come onto the podcast. Abbie: Yeah, thanks for having me. Great to be here. Martin: Let’s start right at the very beginning. When did your issues with sleep first begin and what do you feel caused those issues with sleep? Abbie: Yeah. It was fall 2021, so like almost four years ago, which is crazy because it feels so vivid in my memories. Abbie: But I had gotten sick, I think it was like the cold or a flu or something, just like a normal sick, and I wasn’t able to sleep which was really jarring for me at the time because prior to this sort of period of insomnia, I had been a really great sleeper. Like I, had my whole life I had basically like. Abbie: I never really thought much about sleep. I fell asleep immediately. I stayed asleep. Yeah I had gotten sick, I wasn’t able to sleep. And then I remember the next night I was like, okay, tonight’s the night like, I have to sleep. So I was already, like putting that pressure on sleep it has to be tonight. Abbie: And so that kind of started, I would say like the feedback loop of okay, I am stressed about sleep. The more I stress about sleep, the less I’m gonna sleep. Yeah, I think I was also dealing with just like a period of more heightened anxiety in my life at the time too. I was applying to graduate school and taking, the admissions tests for that and so maybe it was just like, kinda like the perfect storm. Abbie: I was like, okay, if I’m gonna get better, I need to sleep. I think it was also like, this was the first time in my life I had experienced a sleepless night. And so it was just like, that was really uncomfortable, like laying there awake all night. The longer you’re awake, the more stressed you’re getting, your heart’s kind of beating fast. Abbie: Like the whole thing was just uncomfortable and new for me. So I was like I don’t want that to happen again. I better sleep tonight. Abbie: I feel like each night I wasn’t sleeping, I was just getting more and more anxious about sleeping. I think I was like a week in at that point and I had probably slept two hours each night and I was like, what is going on? Abbie: Am I ever gonna sleep again? And yeah, I mean it was, I would fall asleep around four or 5:00 AM and then be back up again at 6:00 AM for work. And yeah it was just super uncomfortable and yeah, anyone who’s. Insomnia knows how stressful it is. Abbie: It was like, every hour that passes, I’m like, okay, I gotta get up in what, in three hours, two hours, one hour. And then, just this intense desire to stay in bed in the mornings. I think to see if you’re tired and you haven’t slept, and you’re like, all I wanna do is stay in bed. Abbie: I do think, like looking back, I think having my work routine and schedule was like really hard at the time, but really beneficial in some ways because I couldn’t just sit in bed and all day and try to go back to bed and I had to get up and get out and go to work. And that was also ended up being, I think, a good distraction. Abbie: At least for like the eight hours a day I was working. I wasn’t thinking about sleep. I think that was positive. Martin: What about that day, those days when you didn’t have any work obligations? Were things different then? Abbie: Yeah, I would definitely I think early on I would definitely, stay in bed all morning, like trying to quote unquote rest or see if maybe I could eventually fall asleep. Abbie: And just like really dreading the day because I had slept it all and I was like, Ugh, another day I’m gonna be really tired all day. It’s gonna be so bad. Like kind of those typical anxious, catastrophic thoughts of I just, I don’t wanna do the day. Like I didn’t get any sleep. So if there was, if I didn’t have work and nothing was like forcing me outta bed, I think it was, it would’ve been hard. Martin: So at this point. Things are really difficult as you’ve just described. And when we face difficulties in life or problems in life, we look to solve them. Martin: So what was your next step? What other things were you trying to do to get your sleep back on track and get yourself back to where you used to be? Abbie: Yeah, I think I was trying everything. One of the things I started doing early on was like, canceling all my plans and I would get off work and, as soon as I was done with work like the dread and the anxiety about sleeping that night would kick in. Abbie: And so I would be like, okay, I gotta go home. I gotta make dinner and I gotta get in bed. So I was like, my bedtime was becoming earlier and earlier even though I just, I wasn’t tired. And I think I was also pretty much trying every sleep supplement out there that there is like about a month in, I think I’d seen my doctor and she had prescribed me I think it was like Ambien or something, and I never ended up taking it, but I did try every over the counter supplement, magnesium, melatonin, all the things. Abbie: And I would get like really excited like, okay, this is gonna be the thing, like this is gonna work for me. And then every time it didn’t, it was like a letdown of okay, it was like more evidence in my mind that, my sleep is broken and there’s nothing out there that’s gonna fix it. Martin: I think a lot of people are gonna identify with that. Martin: And all the things you shared are completely logical to try, right? If we want more sleep to happen it’s almost ground into us that we go to bed earlier, that it’s important to go to bed early get more sleep, give sleep that opportunity to show up. And there can be, it can be, it’s almost like we can become really enthusiastic or we can just try so hard that it backfires on us to the point where we do less with our lives and sleep then grows in importance. Martin: It becomes more of a focus. So it’s almost like we’re up in the stakes. It becomes even more important for us to perform sleep and then when it doesn’t happen as we want it to. You did a great job of just describing what that’s like yourself. We can just, it feels, it can feel like a personal failure and it can reinforce perhaps this belief that there is something uniquely wrong, that maybe our sleep system is somehow broken. Martin: But the truth of the matter is, it’s. Perhaps it’s all the ongoing efforts and the trying, which now exists when it never existed before, when we slept fine, that might be the true source of the problem. Abbie: Yeah, definitely. And I think yeah, along the lines of just like trying everything to control sleep, I was like doing all the sleep hygiene, things like that were recommended. Abbie: Like I was no screens before bed. Like I just, I had this whole routine of I got a no caffeine, no alcohol, blah, blah, blah. That was just like adding more and more things when, like you just said in the past I had no sleep routine. Like I was, I would pass out on the couch watching TV and go to bed. Abbie: So yeah, I think that’s exactly right. Martin: Often as we’re engaged in this pursuit of sleep, we end up removing things from our lives that, either give us meaning or are enjoyable. And that could be something like we, we might give up coffee altogether, for example, even though that’s something we really enjoy. Martin: We remove that from our lives. We remove TV from our lives. We remove going out with friends late at night from our lives. And so our sleep generally stays the same because sleep doesn’t really care about any of that stuff. But at the same time, our situation has gotten worse because we’re taking all of that stuff away in order to serve sleep. Martin: And it just makes us, it can make us just feel trapped in this just endless spiral of more difficulty and a less joy from life. More withdrawal and more struggle. Abbie: Yeah. Yeah. I definitely think that was my experience. The more I. I stopped my usual routine. The worse, I think the worse that it got, for sure. Abbie: Which is counterintuitive at the time I was like, I can’t be out until 10 o’clock, like I gotta be in bed. And that ended up being one of the things that I, that down the road really helped me was actually staying out late and doing things late at night and doing all these things despite not being able to sleep. Martin: I’m curious, you mentioned earlier that you went to the doctor and they gave you a prescription for the Ambien, but you didn’t end up taking end. Curious to know why that was? Abbie: Yeah. I was really nervous about taking it, but I think what I was really nervous about is that I, that it would work and that I wouldn’t rely on it to sleep and. Abbie: That was like my worst nightmare. It was like, okay, I can suffer and try to sleep and all these things, and if I took this medication and it worked is that gonna be the rest of my life? Am I never gonna be able to sleep again without this medication? So I definitely was like, I think I was really tempted and really close to probably taking it after a month of not sleeping, but I was like yeah, I just wa I didn’t wanna rip the bandaid off, I guess you could say and go down this like spiral of that I felt like I, I couldn’t get back from. Martin: And I think that’s a good illustration of how any effort or anything that we do to try and make sleep happen can so easily backfire. Because if we try something and it feels like it works. We can feel that reinforces this belief or this idea that we need something to generate sleep, that we’re incapable of generating it by ourselves. Martin: And on the other hand, if we try something and it doesn’t work, then we reinforce this belief that we need. We still need to keep looking, that we can’t generate sleep by ourselves, that we failed at that thing or that we failed at sleep. So we’ve got this potential that regardless of the outcome, every time we try, we might be reinforcing this idea or this belief that there’s something wrong with our sleep system, that there’s something wrong with our situation, that something is broken when that’s never the case, as we’ll explore a little bit later in our conversation. Abbie: Yeah, definitely. I think the reliance, like you said on these external things was really big for me early on and that didn’t end up being the solution. Martin: You also made a good point too, that if we do feel like we’re reliant on something, there might be a point in the future where we don’t wanna be reliant on that thing anymore. Martin: So if we haven’t addressed what the real root cause of this issue might be then we are gonna be having to revisit that at some point in the future. So it never really goes away. It’s always gonna be with us. Abbie: Yeah. Yeah. It definitely felt like a short term solution and I was like, I gotta try, I gotta try something else. Martin: People that aren’t too familiar with insomnia will usually only think of insomnia as like a nighttime problem, but when we’ve been struggling with it or we’ve got that experience of struggling with it, we know that it really is a 24 hour problem, right? It affects our nights and it affects our days. Martin: Maybe it affects our days even more than it affects our nights. I’m curious to hear from you. How was this affecting your days? Not only in terms of like you touched upon your, those kind of withdrawal from the activities and doing things that are important to you, but the way your mind was responding. What was that experience like for you? Abbie: Yeah, I would say it was like really intense anxiety. Pretty much from the moment I got outta bed of just these thoughts of am I gonna sleep tonight? And like I had said going to work was a good distraction, but of course I was like exhausted at work and I was like, I don’t know how many more days and nights of this like I can do. Abbie: And you’re just spiraling. Is this permanent? Is this forever? And I think I also developed a lot of health anxiety around it, like I had all these concerns is this gonna have long-term sort of negative consequences on my health? I think, rightfully there’s so much out there about the number one thing you could do for your health and your longevity is sleep. Abbie: And you Google sleep and there’s 15 articles about the negative consequences of not sleeping. And not to say that the science isn’t true. I just think that was like really unhelpful for me at the time of okay, not only is the consequence, like I’m tired and anxious and I, I physically feel bad, but there’s, if this keeps going this is gonna be bad for my health in the long term. Abbie: So I don’t know. All these thoughts were like spiraling all day long. And then as soon as it. I got dark out, like as soon as the sun started to go down I would get this like intense feeling of dread. And yeah. So it was definitely, like you said, an all day thing, not just like a nighttime thing. Abbie: I think at night it was definitely more I’m sitting in bed and my heart is racing and my thoughts are racing and the more you’re trying to sleep, the more your heart is racing. And so it’s like a lot of physical symptoms. And then during the day it was just like a lot of my mind is consumed with, am I gonna sleep tonight? Martin: The messaging around sleep out there is very focused on sleep is very important and I would agree with that. Sleep is very important, just like breathing is very important and we’re still waiting for a study to come out that shows that insomnia causes any health problem or increases risk of mortality. But boy, when you read some of that stuff that’s online, it really does sound like a life or death situation. And when you are already putting so much importance on sleep, it can just make things so much more difficult. Martin: Because it, again, it ups the stakes, right? And you’re gonna put more pressure on yourself to perform sleep. So yeah, I just wanted to emphasize that yes, sleep is important, but the body can generate it by itself just like it generates breathing by itself. And I think a lot of people here listening to this will really identify with how you described what your mind was doing at the time, it was problem solving for you. It was trying to fix this problem. It was brainstorming, and as it was doing that, it was generating lots of difficult feelings, difficult thoughts. It was generating anxiety to ensure that you were giving it attention. Martin: And there’s also that fatigue, right? That sense of exhaustion. And it can just be when you combine that with your mind is just being focused on sleep and generating all these predictions or these stories it can be really hard to focus and to concentrate on doing stuff that matters. Abbie: Yeah. Yeah. Abbie: That, that was definitely my experience. I think, the anxiety is like enough to deal with and then you’re exhausted, and so that’s only feeding it. And you, I just remember feeling okay, if I don’t like. Die from lack of sleep I’m gonna lose my mind. Yeah, it was just a big spiral. Martin: How did you respond to what your mind was doing at the time? Abbie: At the time I had family and friends and a partner who were really supportive and I could confide in and that was great. But I also think unless you’ve experienced insomnia, I still just felt like very alone, in the experience. Abbie: And finding Insomnia Coach was like huge in realizing that I wasn’t alone and that these aren’t unique thoughts and experiences in, in a good way. So yeah, I was trying to cope I think, as best as I could. I was distracting myself. Trying to distract myself at work and yeah, as soon as I realized that the withdrawing from day-to-day activities was making it worse I think that was a really good kind of switch for me in okay, if I can’t sleep, I can’t control the sleep, but I can control my response and I can control what I’m doing. Abbie: So instead of going to bed at 8:00 PM like I’m gonna go and go to the gym. And I, with no expectation that the gym was gonna make me tired, just like I like to go to the gym and I’m gonna, if I’m up anyway, like I’m gonna study for the GRE and do my grad school application. Abbie: So I think, yeah, as soon as I had that mindset shift from withdrawing to. Going back to my normal routine. If anything it, it was a good distraction. Martin: It sounds like you noticed this conflict between some of the thoughts or the stories that your mind was your problem solving brain was telling you as it was trying to fix this problem for you, like you need to withdraw, you can’t do those things. Martin: You need to do less. You need to say, no, you need to go home. All of these things. And compared to your experience, your experience was telling you well, actually withdrawing isn’t making things any better. It’s not making me feel less fatigued or more rested. It’s certainly not making my life any better. Martin: And once you notice that conflict, maybe there was this kinda light bulb moment there that I can hear all these thoughts. I can listen to all these thoughts and stories. I don’t necessarily need to fight them. I just need to respond in a way that’s of my choosing. I get to decide how to respond to these thoughts. Martin: I don’t have to battle with them, struggle with them. I don’t have to let them control me ultimately. I still have the power here. Abbie: Yeah. I do think that was like the first sort of light bulb going off of okay, all of my thoughts and beliefs about anything but about sleep are not necessarily reality. Abbie: I don’t have to believe that, I have this thought, I’m never gonna sleep again. That doesn’t make it true. Or you have this thought like, I need to go home and cancel all my plans and otherwise we’re gonna be exhausted. I was exhausted anyway yeah I do think the realization that I didn’t have to, I guess believe my. Abbie: My thoughts was also like a really big switch for me. Martin: What did it feel like to realize that what your brain might be telling you or what your brain might be saying might not actually be true? Abbie: Yeah, honestly, it felt like a big relief. I and I also think I realize the worse I feel and the more negative the thoughts, the less true my thinking is and the less serious I need to take my thinking. Abbie: So yeah, I think this big relief of there’s a whole reality that exists out in the world and I can always come back to that and whatever my thoughts, my brain are telling me, it doesn’t always match up with what the reality is. And so as soon as I gave myself like, permission to not believe my thoughts, and I still practice this today. Abbie: Like it’s not easy, but you have an anxious thought or something and you’re like, okay, or here’s the alternative and this isn’t true. So yeah, as soon as I gave myself that permission to, to not one take my thinking so seriously and to two not trust it, especially like when I’m feeling down or bad I think yeah, that, that was a huge sort of flip for me and in my kind of journey with insomnia, but also just like my overall mental health journey. Martin: I think it might be human nature to resist what’s difficult or uncomfortable. So for many of us. We will resist anxiety, for example, or try really hard to fight it when it shows up or avoid it from showing up in the first place. As you develop this insight or this light bulb moment that maybe the thoughts aren’t always true, did that change how you were able to respond to them? Abbie: I think the big thing was just like not taking it so seriously like not taking every thought so seriously. And that in turn helped me take some of the pressure off of sleep because if, if I am, my brain is telling me that, if I don’t sleep tonight there’s gonna be all these consequences and blah, blah, blah, then, but if I don’t have to believe that, then it’s not so much pressure that I sleep tonight or the next night or whenever. Abbie: I do think like getting some distance from my own thoughts was also good. Like I, you’re just, I was so in my own head and every thought that came up, I had to follow that train of thought and act on it. When I realized that I didn’t I think I had a lot more freedom to, to actually do the things that felt Right. Martin: So when you found Insomnia Coach, at this point, you’d already been trying lots of different things. What made you think there might be something here rather than it just being yet another one of these things that you’ll probably try and not get much from? What made it feel different? Abbie: Yeah, I think the main thing was there, this sort of like notion that there’s actually nothing to do, I think a lot of other content, like I had mentioned was like, do this, and this before better or don’t do this and this. And when I found Insomnia Coach, I just really, it was the first time I had seen the messaging like, the more we try, the less sleep will come. Abbie: And so I think when I first found it, I was like, it’s like when some, when you’re stressed and someone tells you to calm down, you’re like, yeah, okay. Stop trying. Sure. That I think at the time seemed like pretty much impossible. But yeah, I think the, there was a lot of content in the emails that you sent that was like one, like I mentioned, making me feel like I’m not alone in this and this isn’t unique to me. Abbie: And two. Maybe I can just let go a little bit, like maybe I can stop trying so hard. And there were some other like specific sort of techniques and things that, that you had mentioned that ended up being really helpful for me, which I am happy to talk about. But yeah, I think it was just the permission to stop trying so hard. Martin: If we are able to remember a time when sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern, what were we doing to make sleep happen so well back then? And maybe our own experience can reveal the most valuable insight, which is that sleep was effortless. It required no effort, there were no rules, there were no rituals. It just happened by itself, and that’s really where we want to get back to. Abbie: Yeah. Yeah. I think that sort of idea you’re mentioning about some of the most valuable information being like my own experience. I think that came up again and again it later in my journey with insomnia. Like when I would have like bumps along the road, I would go back to okay, I’ve had insomnia before. Abbie: I pretty much didn’t sleep for like months on end. And I survived, and I. I went to work and I functioned and all these things like that is evidence for me in my mind that I can do it again. And I think what made this like first like intense bout so hard was that I, this was the first time it had happened. Abbie: Like I didn’t have evidence that I could go back to my baseline, but as soon as I had that, like first night of like normal sleep, I think that was really powerful for me to be like, okay here’s your own experience and evidence that it’s possible to sleep. Again. Martin: It really is a learning experience, I think. Martin: And there’s that classic phrase that we don’t know what we don’t know but if we can approach things with some kindness that we aren’t these all encompassing, all seeing individual geniuses, that there are gonna be things that we don’t know. And we can be kind to it to ourselves about that and be curious and be willing to learn or experiment. Martin: There is so much value there because I think that really is what gives us the opportunity to make change happen. Abbie: Yeah, I definitely wish I had been easier on myself when things were at their peak. I think I, yeah, just like the self-talk and like the things you’re telling yourself why can’t I do this? Abbie: My sleep must be broken. It’s all just negative reinforcement instead of positive sort of affirmations for yourself. I think that can be really hard in the moment. But yeah, looking back, I, I think that would’ve been really useful. Martin: It’s amazing how hard we can be on ourselves when things, when we’re experiencing difficulty and struggle, because I like to believe that there’s good in all of us, and I think that most of us, if we were sitting down with a loved one and they were describing exactly what we were going through themselves, we would talk to them in a completely different way to how we talk to ourselves when we are experiencing that exact same thing. Abbie: Yeah. That is so true. I think that’s something I, I’m still working on, like in every situation what would I tell my loved one, or my friend or my family like I would, if the roles were reversed and a friend had come to me with this insomnia problem, like I would’ve been really like concerned and worried for them. Abbie: But of course I wouldn’t have been like. And I would be like, you’re gonna sleep again. Of course you’re gonna sleep again. And I couldn’t tell myself that at the time. Martin: And if nothing else, again, if we pull on our own experience, we can ask ourselves, how does talking to myself in this way? Or how does acting toward myself in this way help? Martin: Is it improving the situation? Is it making me feel better? Is it helping me emerge from the struggle? Or is it making things more difficult? And I’m a big, I’m a huge proponent of us using our own experience as our best guide, because every person is the expert on themselves. I’m not the expert of anyone other than myself. Martin: But what I can do is encourage people to look within themselves and reflect on their own experience. When it comes to so many struggles in life maybe all of them, the answers that we need are already within us. It’s just a case of. Looking for them. And sometimes we need some kind of external influence or source to tease them out, but all the answers are already within us. Abbie: Yeah. Yeah, that’s a great point. Martin: Let’s get into the changes that you made, that you found most helpful. What ones would you like to share with us? Abbie: Yeah, the most like tangible thing I did was give myself this sort of like wake window in which I couldn’t go to bed. I think I started with three or 4:00 AM or something, and I was like, I’m not even gonna attempt to sleep. Abbie: I have to stay up until 3:00 AM and then I can get in bed and whatever happens, but like until 3:00 AM I am watching tv, I’m doing something, whatever. And I think this like definitely tricked my brain from I have to sleep, I have to sleep, I have to sleep to, I can’t sleep until this time. Abbie: I think that was like really powerful for me. And, it wasn’t like a cure all, like all of a sudden I was sleeping, but it took probably a month when I was like slowly pushing back this sleep sort of window earlier and eventually I would, it would be like 2:00 AM and I would be like passing out to sleep on the couch. Abbie: And I was like, okay, we’ll push it back to 1:00 AM and midnight. And that was really helpful for me. And something that I used, even once my sleep improved, if I had, a bad night or a bad week, I’d be like, okay we’re going back to this like wake window and tonight I’m up until three and we’ll see what happens. Abbie: So yeah it was totally just a mental thing of telling yourself you need to sleep versus telling yourself you have to stay awake. Which is such a simple thing when you, when I look back, but that was like really transformative. Yeah. And the other thing, like I talked about, I think was just like really returning to my routine. Abbie: So like I, I would hang out with friends after work. I would go to the gym, take, my roommate at the time was like a night shift nurse, so she was up anyway, so I’d be like, let’s go do something. And, I’d be out, it’d be like midnight and I’d be like, okay. That was all time in which I was distracted and not thinking about sleep. Abbie: And then I come home and I found sleek to just be a lot easier as soon as I, yeah, sleep to be a lot easier. When I wasn’t laying in bed at 8:00 PM every night waiting for it to happen. Martin: I think what you’ve shared is a great example of there’s no unique way of doing this that is gonna work or be appropriate for everyone. Martin: It’s about finding what’s helpful for you with the intent, as long as the intention is workable, as long as you’re not trying to control what can’t be controlled. So for you, your intent was to move away from trying to make sleep happen. And as a way of helping you reach that goal, you decided I’m gonna make myself stay awake till 3:00 AM instead of trying to fall asleep, I’m gonna try to stay awake. Martin: And that could be such a powerful mindset shift, right? Because then when we’re trying to stay awake. What might happen differently? What was your experience? How did things change when you went from trying to sleep to trying to stay awake? Abbie: Yeah, I just felt like the, I had a new goal, like my brain had a new problem to solve, and the problem was like, we gotta stay up till 3:00 AM and I gotta find stuff to do until 3:00 AM. Abbie: So that was helpful. And just yeah, taking the pressure off from and getting outta my own thoughts of okay, it’s another hour and I’m outta sleep. It’s another hour and I’m not asleep. And into just a more calm and peaceful state of mind. And then of course once that happens, like I would just, I would fall asleep. Abbie: And even on those nights, like when I. I was trying to make to 3:00 AM and I would like doze off at two or something. I would, the next day I would be like, okay, like what did I do? Like how did I do it? And every night it was like I didn’t do anything, like my body just fell asleep and there was enough sleep drive to, to put me to sleep. Abbie: And then, yeah, as soon as I had, like even I, like I mentioned I was really sleeping like very little. So even when I had three or four hours of sleep a night, that was again, more evidence in my mind that my sleep is not broken and it is possible. So it was that positive feedback cycle, whereas before it had been this negative feedback cycle. Martin: When you weren’t trying to make sleep happen, you were now all of a sudden trying to stay awake. That urge to sleep just became stronger because you’re no longer putting that pressure on or putting the effort in. And that came too with the bonus of, it’s a powerful reminder that your sleep system is still there, it’s still intact, it’s not broken. Martin: You are feeling that sense of sleepiness and a sense of sleepiness isn’t always required for sleep to happen, but it can be a nice reassuring reminder when you feel that sleepiness and the difficulty staying awake. And even if someone is listening to this and they don’t really wanna stay awake until 3:00 AM again, that’s not a requirement. Martin: A lot of people just look to stay awake later than they have been. If they feel like they go into bed earlier and it’s not really doing much for them, then how about we just move it a little bit later? Martin: It’s just a tool that’s there for you to practice if and when you as the expert on yourself, feel is gonna be useful. Abbie: Yeah, definitely. We’re trying to get away from here’s the one thing that’s gonna fix everything and that’s not the case. But I do think anything that can flipped the script in your brain from sleep whether it’s distraction or whether it’s staying up later or whatever, I think can be really useful. Martin: Yeah. And sometimes staying up later can be more appealing than going to bed earlier. If we find that when we go to bed earlier is a lot of tossing and turning and struggling and battling, it can be somewhat of a relief to give ourselves permission to stay out of bed and not go to bed until later. Martin: Whereas on the other hand, someone else listening to this might find that time in bed quite pleasant. In which case, why not go to bed at the time you’ve been going? It really does, again, come down to the individual, but there is that potential opportunity, bonus opportunity there of being able to do something else earlier in the night rather than struggling. Martin: The other helpful change that you’ve said that you made was reengaging in life and doing stuff for example, going to the gym which maybe you were doing less of in response to the difficulties with sleep. And I think maybe a lot of people listening to this can recognize that. Yeah I would love to do all these things that matter to me. Martin: But it just feels so difficult to do that. It maybe, it even feels impossible to do that. I’m curious to know if you had those kind of thoughts, and if so, how did you stay committed or how were you willing to experiment with this idea of still doing some of this stuff, re-engaging in this stuff that matters? Abbie: Yeah, I, I think early on, like fighting the urge to just go home and do nothing was so hard. Like the last thing it did, it felt impossible to think I’m gonna go do something with friends after work, or I’m gonna go to the gym or whatever. And I did kind of shy away from everything for a long time because it was so hard. But I think even like that first time that I made plans after work or went to the gym and realized like, okay, nothing bad happened I’m still just as tired as I was before. It wasn’t, I think also at this point, like my body was in such like fight or flight mode that like nothing, like I just was exhausted and nothing was making it better or worse honestly. Abbie: And so when I realized okay, I can either. Go home and toss and turn in bed all night and feel horrible. Or I can go to the movies after work and then come home and feel horrible. I’m gonna pick the thing that at least gives me a little bit of joy for the time that I’m doing it. And yeah not to say doing any of that, like somehow cured my sleep or anything. Abbie: But I started slowly to like care a little bit less and less that I wasn’t sleeping because it, one of the things I had been telling myself is okay, why is it so bad that I can’t sleep? It’s so bad because I’m not gonna be able to live my life. Abbie: I’m not gonna be able to go to work. I’m gonna get fired. All these things. And when you realize that, okay, these things are not conditional on sleep, like I can still do these things. Despite whether or not I sleep, I think there was a lot of freedom in that. Martin: What did progress for you look like? How did you measure progress? Abbie: I definitely think early on it was still all about sleep and the quality of my sleep. And every night was like either a success or a failure. Like I either slept or I didn’t, and things were very black and white. And I think slowly over time I was able to realize, okay, maybe there’s a little bit less anxiety and a little bit less dread before bedtime because I’m excited to go out with my roommate or to go to yoga or whatever. Abbie: Like eventually I got to the point where success, I think I, I always was gonna like care about sleep, but I definitely got to the point where success was a lot more like. What is my mental state about sleep? Am I wrapped up in this like anxious bald spiral or am I thinking and doing other things with my day? Abbie: So yeah, I think measuring progress definitely changed. Does as time went on. And I do think measuring progress in did I sleep or did I not sleep is, was not useful for me personally. Martin: It makes sense why we would want to measure progress based on how we’re sleeping from night to night because that’s the main problem that we are looking to solve. Martin: And yet it can set us up for struggle ’cause our own experience probably tells us that sleep is out of our control. So I think it can be useful to dig a little bit deeper and ask ourselves. What makes sleep important to me? Why do I want to get rid of insomnia? Martin: And on the surface it can sound obvious, but if you do a little bit of digging, we can often find that it reveals bigger insights that are often more related to, we see this as an obstacle to us living the kind of life we want to live. We don’t have freedom over our lives or power over our lives anymore, and we want that back. Martin: And so when you uncover something along those lines, if that’s something that you do uncover. It can help you redirect your attention towards action. And maybe then your markers of progress become more related to action. And that can be so helpful because action is within your control. So if insomnia is an obstacle to you doing things that matter, or if you’ve started to do some things that matter, maybe then that’s the true progress. Martin: ’cause it’s actually moving you closer to where you want to be, rather than trying to eliminate something which you might not be able to direct your control. Abbie: Definitely true for me that one of the worries with insomnia was like, like I said I’m not gonna be able to go to work, I’m not gonna be able to be successful in a career or maintain my relationships, giving myself evidence that’s not true in the form of well, I’m gonna do these things anyway, was so powerful. Martin: It’s connected to that power and influence all these thoughts and these feelings that show up alongside insomnia have over your life. So you are able to reflect on the fact that they were almost certainly still showing up maybe less over time as you’re less tangled up in them. Martin: But I’m sure they would still show up because they’re natural, normal human feelings and thoughts, but they’re not consuming all of your energy and all of your attention. They’re more like water off of a duck’s back rather than some, rather than this huge pair of stadium speakers right in front of your face just blaring heavy metal music. Martin: They’re just starting to lose some of that power and influence. Abbie: Yeah, definitely. And it’s so interesting to reflect now when I have a period of sleeplessness or something like. Just how now it’s like an annoyance. I’m like that was annoying. I might be tired today. When before it was like, the world is ending, so I think the seriousness at which I view not sleeping has, is definitely definitely lessened, which is good Martin: When it shows up it’s more like a mosquito rather than a huge black bear frothing at the mouth. Abbie: Yeah. Martin: As you were making these changes, was it just a case that things just got progressively better? Martin: Or did you find there were periods when things went well and then there were like these road bumps or setbacks? Was there any kind of patterns you were noticing, or was it all over the place? What did that look like for you? What did that journey look like for you? Abbie: Yeah, definitely was not linear. Abbie: I think about maybe after about six months, I felt like I was sleeping okay, maybe six hours a night in my own bed. But I think sleeping elsewhere or having my partner stay over, traveling, all that stuff was like still really hard for me. And like on one pattern I noticed was like on Sunday nights I really had trouble sleeping because I was like, again, putting pressure, like this is my last night before I have an entire work week to get through. If I don’t sleep tonight, I’m gonna be tired all week. And then by the time like Thursday came, I think sleep was like a lot easier ’cause it just was like, okay, I’m at the end of the week. I’m tired. Abbie: But yeah, I would say it was probably about like a year until I felt like I could really sleep elsewhere, like travel or stay at my parents’ house or anything, and sleep. Abbie: There were definitely bumps along the road and about a year in I ended up going to grad school and that was just like a big change in my life and a period of kind of stress and some of the sleep issues came back and I just went right back to the things that I had worked last time. Abbie: Like I went back to my wake windows and I think it was just so much easier when it did come back because instead of thinking like I, I mean there were some thoughts of oh no, like it’s happening again. But more so there were thoughts of I did this before, I can do it again. And I have better tools now. Abbie: So I think looking back, it was like each bump along the road made things better in a way. ’cause it was like, again, more evidence that these things are gonna ebb and flow, but I’m always gonna return to baseline. Martin: You can’t have those bumps in the road unless you’re moving forward on your journey. Martin: And that’s something we can easily lose sight of. We focus on what hasn’t gone right or we focus on the setback but that wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t within that context of some kind of progress. Abbie: Yeah, I definitely had a lot more gratitude, like going from sleeping one or two hours a night, like every next hour that I was able to sleep. Abbie: Like I was just grateful for. And even now if I consistently will get eight hours of sleep and every once in a while I’ll be like, I need to remember to be thankful for that because there was a period in which like four hours of sleep was like the ultimate goal. So yeah, definitely a good exercise in practicing gratitude too. Martin: I think when the difficult nights show up or when the nights when we get less sleep than usual or what we were hoping for, it’s a reminder that as human beings there are gonna be nights when we have less sleep than we want. Just there will be thoughts that show up and some of those thoughts will feel good, some won’t, some will be helpful, some won’t. Martin: And it really is just a case, like you said, of the ongoing practice. You’ve got that experience at that point of what has helped you. It’s just a case of going back to them or refocusing on them. Because every time you practice, you also get better at them. You gain more skill In all these things that we talked about, you develop more resiliency, you become better at it. Martin: But that doesn’t mean you can reach this ultimate peak of enlightenment when none of this stuff affects you and never shows up ever again. Life doesn’t work that way. There’s like this magnet force trying to draw us back into a struggle. But it’s a case of you’ve got that awareness now of when that’s happening, you know an alternative way to respond. Martin: And you can focus on those action based responses to continue moving forward. As you reflect on the journey that you’ve been on, how has it changed your life? What have you learned from this whole experience? Abbie: When it was happening I remember, like I said, just having these really negative thoughts of this is gonna change my life for the worst. Abbie: I’m gonna have long-term, health or otherwise consequences from this. And not only has that not been the case but also I feel like it, it really has had a positive impact in that. I just feel like a lot more equipped to handle. The ebbs and the flows. There was a point in my life where, you know, thinking about having kids and traveling and all these things that were gonna disrupt my sleep, like really stressed me out. Abbie: And those things are a little bit quieter now that I have this like trust that, that I can handle these things. And I think that extends not just to like insomnia, but other areas in my life like these thought patterns and this mentality like can be applied to any sort of like area of anxiety or just any sort of thoughts that I’m having. Abbie: Yeah, I’ve definitely found it just like mentality shift to be useful in other areas of my life as well. Martin: You’re not the first person to say that, and I completely agree with you. A lot of this stuff that we talk about can really powerfully impact our lives in a positive way. It’s not just a way to respond to insomnia. Martin: The experience can be a real growth opportunity, which sounds crazy when you’re still in the struggle with it, but once you’re able to reflect back on it, what you learn from the experience can be a huge asset. Abbie: Yeah, definitely. I think it, like you said, at the time I would’ve just like totally rolled my eyes that this is gonna be a positive thing in the long run. Okay, sure. But yeah it really has been. Given me a lot of coping skills I think that I can take into the future and into other areas of my life. Martin: Abbie, I’m really grateful for the time you’ve taken out your day to come on. If someone with chronic insomnia is listening they feel as though they’ve tried everything. They’re beyond help. They’ll never be able to stop struggling with insomnia. What would you say to them? Abbie: I think first I would say you are not alone. And in the nicest way possible, like your anxiety and your insomnia is not special. I remember feeling like that’s great that all these people have found these solutions, but somehow my insomnia is worse and mine is different. Abbie: And these things like peace and returning to this baseline is not possible for me. And the funny thing is that’s what we’re all thinking. That our insomnia, our anxiety is somehow different and special. And yeah, just to say that, me overcoming this also isn’t special. Abbie: That is possible for everybody. And yeah the path might not be linear, but I think it’s possible for everybody and we can’t control sleep, like we’ve been saying. But you can control how you respond and I think that’s the best way forward. Martin: Thanks again for taking the time to come onto the podcast and to share your journey, your experience, all the insights you’ve picked up on the way. Abbie: Yeah. Thanks so much. It was great to talk. Martin: Thanks for listening to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. If you're ready to get your life back from insomnia, I would love to help. You can learn more about the sleep coaching programs I offer at Insomnia Coach — and, if you have any questions, you can email me. Martin: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Insomnia Coach Podcast. I'm Martin Reed, and as always, I'd like to leave you with this important reminder — you are not alone and you can sleep. I want you to be the next insomnia success story I share! If you're ready to stop struggling with sleep and get your life back from insomnia, you can start my insomnia coaching course at insomniacoach.com. Please share this episode!

Donna dives into the bizarre legend of Mel's Hole, a mysterious bottomless pit said to defy science, logic, and possibly reality itself. From impossible depths to eerie claims of resurrection, this story blurs the line between urban legend and nightmare fuel.  Kerri covers the brutal murder of an entire family in a case that left a community reeling and investigators racing to piece together what happened. At the center of the story is Monica Diaz, whose connection to the family would slowly unravel as the truth came to light.  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.. Visit www.betterhelp.com/apc today for 10% off your first month.If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna dives into the bizarre legend of Mel's Hole, a mysterious bottomless pit said to defy science, logic, and possibly reality itself. From impossible depths to eerie claims of resurrection, this story blurs the line between urban legend and nightmare fuel.    Kerri covers the brutal murder of an entire family in a case that left a community reeling and investigators racing to piece together what happened. At the center of the story is Monica Diaz, whose connection to the family would slowly unravel as the truth came to light.   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit www.betterhelp.com/apc today for 10% off your first month. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Donna dives into the bizarre legend of Mel's Hole, a mysterious bottomless pit said to defy science, logic, and possibly reality itself. From impossible depths to eerie claims of resurrection, this story blurs the line between urban legend and nightmare fuel.    Kerri covers the brutal murder of an entire family in a case that left a community reeling and investigators racing to piece together what happened. At the center of the story is Monica Diaz, whose connection to the family would slowly unravel as the truth came to light.   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit www.betterhelp.com/apc today for 10% off your first month. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Donna dives into the bizarre legend of Mel's Hole, a mysterious bottomless pit said to defy science, logic, and possibly reality itself. From impossible depths to eerie claims of resurrection, this story blurs the line between urban legend and nightmare fuel.  Kerri covers the brutal murder of an entire family in a case that left a community reeling and investigators racing to piece together what happened. At the center of the story is Monica Diaz, whose connection to the family would slowly unravel as the truth came to light.  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.. Visit www.betterhelp.com/apc today for 10% off your first month.If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories!Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.comJoin The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Kerri covers the disappearance and death of 18-year-old Thomas Brown from Canadian, Texas, a case that fractured a small town and raised serious questions about law enforcement handling, conflicting evidence, and how the truth was ultimately uncovered. What began as a missing teen investigation evolved into a deeply controversial case that continues to spark debate. Donna tells the strange and unsettling story of Kenny Veach, a YouTuber who disappeared in the Nevada desert while searching for a mysterious cave he said gave off a weird vibration. Between his eerie videos, a solo hike that went terribly wrong, and the total lack of clear answers, his disappearance has become one of the internet's most baffling mysteries.  This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. For 40% off, head to www.trymiracle.com/creep and use promo code CREEP for an extra 20% off and a FREE three-piece towel set. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Kerri covers the disappearance and death of 18-year-old Thomas Brown from Canadian, Texas, a case that fractured a small town and raised serious questions about law enforcement handling, conflicting evidence, and how the truth was ultimately uncovered. What began as a missing teen investigation evolved into a deeply controversial case that continues to spark debate. Donna tells the strange and unsettling story of Kenny Veach, a YouTuber who disappeared in the Nevada desert while searching for a mysterious cave he said gave off a weird vibration. Between his eerie videos, a solo hike that went terribly wrong, and the total lack of clear answers, his disappearance has become one of the internet's most baffling mysteries.  This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. For 40% off, head to www.trymiracle.com/creep and use promo code CREEP for an extra 20% off and a FREE three-piece towel set. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Donna checks into the historic Hotel San Carlos, where ghostly sightings, tragic tales, and eerie encounters have kept this Phoenix landmark on every haunted-hotel list. She digs into the hotel's chilling past, from mysterious apparitions to the resident spirits who supposedly never checked out. Kerri covers the horrific murder of Daniel Halseth, a father whose life was taken in a brutal plot carried out by his daughter and her boyfriend. She unpacks the timeline, the investigation, and the disturbing attempts to cover up the crime that left the community stunned. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit www.betterhelp.com/apc today for 10% off your first month.  This episode is sponsored by Select Quote. Save more than 50% on term life insurance at www.selectquote.com/CREEP TODAY to get started. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Donna checks into the historic Hotel San Carlos, where ghostly sightings, tragic tales, and eerie encounters have kept this Phoenix landmark on every haunted-hotel list. She digs into the hotel's chilling past, from mysterious apparitions to the resident spirits who supposedly never checked out. Kerri covers the horrific murder of Daniel Halseth, a father whose life was taken in a brutal plot carried out by his daughter and her boyfriend. She unpacks the timeline, the investigation, and the disturbing attempts to cover up the crime that left the community stunned. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit www.betterhelp.com/apc today for 10% off your first month.  This episode is sponsored by Select Quote. Save more than 50% on term life insurance at www.selectquote.com/CREEP TODAY to get started. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Join My Private Group: ⁠⁠https://theaxioncollective.manus.space/⁠⁠Email List: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://huntershealthhacks.beehiiv.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get My Book On Amazon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/avbaV48Download⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Peptide Cheat Sheet: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://peptidecheatsheet.carrd.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download The Bioregulator Cheat Sheet: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bioregulatorcheatsheet.carrd.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠1 On 1 Coaching Application: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hunterwilliamscoaching.carrd.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book A Call With Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hunterwilliamscall.carrd.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Supplement Sources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hunterwilliamssupplements.carrd.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Storefront: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/hunterwilliams/list/WE16G2223BXA?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_aipsflist_R7QWQC0P1RACB2ETY3DY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Socials:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/hunterwilliamscoaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Video Topic Request: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hunterwilliamsvideotopic.carrd.co/⁠In this episode, I'm revisiting one of the most underrated peptides in the entire toolbox: DSIP – Delta Sleep Inducing Peptide.About a year and a half ago I did a deep dive on DSIP and mostly talked about it as a “sleep peptide.” Since then, I've spent a lot more time digging into the literature and experimenting with different dosing protocols myself – and what I've found is that DSIP is actually much more of a circadian rhythm peptide than a simple knock-you-out sleep aid.I walk you through the origin story of DSIP, how Swiss researchers first isolated this nine–amino acid peptide from rabbits in deep delta sleep back in the 1970s, and why it's so fascinating that it shows up in human brain, plasma, and even breast milk. We talk about the wild fact that DSIP can cross the blood–brain barrier, and why that makes nasal spray formulations surprisingly effective in real-world use.From there, we get into mechanisms: DSIP's ability to lower ACTH and cortisol, act as a “stress-limiting” factor, nudge growth hormone a bit, modulate pain pathways, and influence neurotransmitters like Substance P. I break down why I see it as a multi-system modulator that gently rebalances the body's own sleep circuitry instead of sedating you like Ambien.We cover the human data from the 1980s – the insomnia trials where DSIP normalized sleep architecture, the European study using DSIP in alcohol and opiate withdrawal with surprisingly high success rates, and a small pilot in chronic pain and tinnitus where most patients had meaningful relief.Then I share how I actually use it: my preferred subcutaneous dosing range of 100–500 mcg, why I think 2–3 hours before bed on an empty-ish stomach works best, and how I'm planning to use DSIP more aggressively for jet lag and circadian realignment when I travel. I also talk about my wife's experience (she loves DSIP) versus mine (I don't struggle with sleep, but I still see it as a staple tool).Finally, I touch on safety, the immunogenicity caveat, and why DSIP probably isn't a top-5 peptide—but is absolutely one I'll always keep in the house.If you want more conversations like this and direct Q&A access, make sure you're on my email list and check out The Axion Collective, my private community for peptide researchers and optimization nerds.

Awards season may be driving Earth's Mightiest Critics loco, but we're moving full steam ahead with Clint Bentley's Train Dreams!Joel Edgerton stars as Robert Grainier, a logger and railroad worker adjusting to change in early 20th Century America. This adaptation of Denis Johnson's novella has been compared to the work of Terrence Malick. But does that mean its an artful, easygoing meditation on life--or pretentious celluloid Ambien? Join us as we forge a path to the answers in spoilerific detail, AND take your questions, comments, and SuperChats!Train Dreams is now streaming on Netflix!Support Kicking the Seat on Patreon, subscribe to us on YouTube, and follow us at:XLetterboInstagramFacebookShow LinksWatch the Train Dreams (2025) trailer.As mentioned in the show, Joe Engleman of the Chicago Reader wrote an enlightening review of Train Dreams--which formed the backbone of this conversation. Read it here! Support all of Earth's Mightiest Critics at their various outlets:Keep up with Jeff York's criticism and caricatures at The Establishing Shot and Pipeline Artists.Check out Mark "The Movie Man" Krawczyk's The Spoiler Room Podcast.Get seated with The Blonde in Front!Follow David Fowlie's film criticism at Keeping It Reel.Get educated with Don Shanahan at Every Movie Has a Lesson…...And Film Obsessive...and the Cinephile Hissy Fit Podcast.Keep up with Annie Banks at The Mary Sue....and We Got This Covered.Make Nice with Mike Crowley of You'll Probably Agree.And save your celluloid soul with Dave Canfield's Substack, "Creature Feature Preacher".

Kerri dives into the shocking murder of Bobby Kent—a twisted tale of toxic friendships, manipulation, and a group of Florida teens who thought murder was the only way out. She breaks down the chaotic plotting, the brutal attack, and the unbelievable cast of characters behind this real-life “Bully” case. Donna explores the eerie disappearance of the Yuba County Five, a case riddled with bizarre clues, abandoned cars, and unanswered questions in the snowy Sierra Nevada wilderness. She unravels the strange circumstances leading up to their final days and the enduring mystery that still haunts true-crime fans decades later. This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. For 40% off, head to www.trymiracle.com/creep and use promo code CREEP for an extra 20% off and a FREE three-piece towel set. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Kerri dives into the shocking murder of Bobby Kent—a twisted tale of toxic friendships, manipulation, and a group of Florida teens who thought murder was the only way out. She breaks down the chaotic plotting, the brutal attack, and the unbelievable cast of characters behind this real-life “Bully” case. Donna explores the eerie disappearance of the Yuba County Five, a case riddled with bizarre clues, abandoned cars, and unanswered questions in the snowy Sierra Nevada wilderness. She unravels the strange circumstances leading up to their final days and the enduring mystery that still haunts true-crime fans decades later. This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. For 40% off, head to www.trymiracle.com/creep and use promo code CREEP for an extra 20% off and a FREE three-piece towel set. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Donna explores a different kind of story this episode. The curious and unexpected story of Betty Lou Williams who lived her life and became the highest paid human oddity.  Kerri follows with the heartbreaking and controversial death of Tera Chavez, shining a light on the quest for answers that refuse to fade.     If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Kerri covers the murder of Maritza Martin Munoz, whose life was cut short when her estranged husband brutally attacked her outside a Miami cemetery. She walks listeners through the shocking crime, the twisted motive behind it, and the chilling impact it left on the community. Donna dives into the eerie history of the Stranahan House in Fort Lauderdale, a landmark known for its hauntings and unsettling past. She explores the legends, the spirits said to linger, and why this iconic home remains one of Florida's most storied paranormal hotspots. This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. For 40% off, head to www.trymiracle.com/creep and use promo code CREEP for an extra 20% off and a FREE three-piece towel set. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Jameela welcomes actor Penn Badgley, with his Podcrushed co-hosts Nava Kavelin and Sophie Ansari (podcast: Podcrushed, new book: Crushmore: Essays on Love, Loss and Coming of Age) for a truly chaotic and hilarious hour of wrong turns. From Sophie's doomed West Village romance and Jameela's on-set “fart coffin,” to Nava's accidental Ambien-induced text to Ariana Grande's manager and Penn's near-collision at the Met Gala, this one spirals delightfully out of control.Confessions, catastrophes, and exactly the kind of laughter-therapy Wrong Turns was made for.Jameela's Substack is A Low Desire To Please, you can also find her on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.Our consulting producer is Colin Anderson.Wrong Turns was created and produced by Jameela Jamil and Stewart Bailey.Listen to Wrong Turns on Amazon Music or wherever you find your podcasts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Donna dives into the bizarre case of the Mad Gasser of Mattoon, a mysterious figure who terrorized an Illinois town with strange nighttime attacks. Was it mass hysteria or a real-life gas-wielding criminal? Kerri covers the horrifying crimes of Anthony Sowell, known as the Cleveland Strangler, whose house of horrors shocked the nation. She unpacks how his victims were overlooked for far too long. This episode is covered by Better Help. Head to www.betterhelp.com/apc for 10% off your first month! If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast

Kerri covers the heartbreaking murder of Steven Turner in Pennsylvania in 1981. After the case was solved, the family thought they had put the heartbreak behind them and were able to move on with their lives remembering Steven but the judicial system is not that easy. Donna dives into the mysterious disappearance and death of Ella Maud “Nell” Cropsey, a case that's haunted Elizabeth City for over a century. This one will leave you with more questions than answers.  This episode is sponsored by Select Quote. Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at www.selectquote.com/creep TODAY to get started. This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. For 40% off, head to www.trymiracle.com/creep and use promo code CREEP for an extra 20% off and a FREE three-piece towel set. If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Donna heads to Texas to uncover the eerie legends surrounding El Paso High School — often called the most haunted school in America. From ghostly yearbook photos to sealed-off hallways, she dives into what makes this school a paranormal hotspot. Kerri covers the shocking case of Keri Murphy, a young woman whose strained relationship with her mother, Mary Ann Murphy, ended in a brutal and tragic murder. She unpacks the disturbing details and what could have led a daughter to commit the unthinkable. This episode is sponsored by Miracle Made. For 40% off, head to www.trymiracle.com/creep and use promo code CREEP for an extra 20% off and a FREE three-piece towel set.  If you have any local true crime, local urban legend/lore, ghost stories.. we want them all!! We want to hear from YOU. Especially if you have any funny Ambien stories! Email us at aparanormalchicks@gmail.com Join The Creepinati @ www.patreon.com/theAPCpodcast 

Subscribe to Throwing Fits on Patreon. G'day, mates. This week, Jimmy and Larry are coming to you from the Ace Hotel in Sydney, Australia for a down under edition on the road pod on everything we've got planned this weekend at Surplus 2025, fits inspired by our own memes, the best Aussie boots since 1932, how much would you pay for a koala photo op, Sora, creativity vs. grinding, Australia invented 2010's Williamsburg, a plethora of plane movies reviewed, how flying commercial is like the military, James popped his first Ambien, taking two dips at Bondi and Bronte Beach, touching grass at the Royal Botanic Garden and Hyde Park, the Sydney opera house lived up to the hype but don't fact-check any of our tidbits, hotel gym etiquette, sage advice from Derrick Gee, what's even in Vegemite,  you can find us in Chinatown, a 10 William St feast, surviving a calamity at Clam Bar with Patrick Johnson, the best hair transplant advertisement ever, wired headphones might actually be good, the strangest fish sandwich of all time, chicken salt sounds better than it tastes and much more.