When's Food?

Welp, see ya later! Yinz heard that right, this is the last episode of ‘When's Food?'  The food pantry is empty and we didn't go grocery shopping. But we couldn't just leave without saying GOODBYE, so, we're got one, fun, final family f*cking dinner. We've got a highlight reel of our best (and stupidest) moments plus some extra treats thrown in. Five years ago TODAY we started this little snack and are so happy y'all joined our all the idiocy since – it means the world to us.  So, for one last time: BYEEEEEEEEE.

Is that a controller in your pocket or are you just excited to see us? Get ready to grab your dice and give them a roll because we're talking about games! In a surprising turn of events, we actually stayed on topic for once and discussed alllll the things – we've got video games, OG games, card games, strategy games … mind games? Sure, why not! Grab your favorite Monopoly figure and tune in. We Catan wait to play some games with your ears!

Welcome to King Burger where you can have it your way … BUT DON'T GET FREAKY (Okay, but maybe you can get a little freaky??) That's right, make sure your friers are hot because we're talking about Fast Food! We're not sure how we made it ten seasons without talking about the king of the food court – but we are making up for lost time. We've got the who, what, where, why and when (always is the answer) of America's favorite food service. Plus, snack facts are BACK! Get your spatula ready because we're grilling up one steamy episode.

Don't ya just hate it when your dongle isn't dangling right? In case that wasn't stupid enough to be clear, we've got another fresh, fact-filled Family Dinner episode. BUT that's not all, this is a very special Family Dinner episode because we are serving 10s, 10s, 10s across the board! That's right, it is the start of our TENTH season! Can you believe?! Who gave us permission?! (Literally no one. They probably want us to stop.) Tune in as we kick off Season 10 with a full helping of idiocy!

We had JNCO jeans! And that's the only description you need for our new episode because we're talking about TRENDS. That's right – you know them, you love them, you also probably hated them at some point (looking at you men in skinny jeans) but, no matter what, it's safe to say we've all followed a trend before. These little popular patterns pop up in all parts of life: art, marketing, food, social media, clothes! Nothing is safe from them and we're unpacking them all here. What's the opposite of a trend? Don't ask a hipster, that's for sure. Put on your best light-wash, low-rise pair of jeans and tune in!

Slurrrrrrrrrrrrp. Get your twirling' fork ready cause we're talking about NOODS. (The pasta kind –get yinz heads outta the gutter.) We're doing a deep dive into noodletown and we think that the pastabilities are endless! How does a noodle come out your nose? Y'all ever had a noodle fun dip? Who amongst us has never had a Cup-o-noodles? Why is there a disparity in the lo mein community? And, finally, WHERE is the line between noodle and pasta?! (And … who cares!) Y'all hungry for more? Tune in and whet your appetite! PS – Always watch out for the magenta one. 

Albania! Brazil! FRAAANCE! No, this isn't the countries episode – just your usual Family Dinner idiocy. We've got all our random noises ready for you and are gonna dive right in. We're serving up seasonal depression, pale-glowing nipples, the Idles of March and the very real equilibrium of the moon and Archimedes. Ya know, all the fineries needed to get you through this last hump of the winter season. If daylight savings time was a podcast it would be us and we've got beaming sun coming out of our as–mouths. Yum! 

Buckle up because this episode is a riiiiiIIIIIIiiiIIIIiiide. That's right, we're toxic and you're slipping' under. Tune in to hear us talking all things toxic: behaviors, traits, colors, music videos … Pokemon? We've got puce and chartreuse, poison people and pet peeves, opinions and other things. What are the worst toxic traits we can think of (and google) and—more importantly—who in the group has them?! Like a radioactive barrel of chemicals, this episode us oozing and bubbling with some noxious notes.

Did yinz finish your dinner? Because if not you don't get to eat up any of our desserts! That's right, we are back with another ‘leftovers' episode and this time we're revisiting the sweetest part of any meal. This isn't going to be like a pristine, hoy patoy baking show. No, we've got sprinkles flying, ice cream souping, Adam Conrad golfing and amuse-bouches … bouching. Oh, and a sledge hammer is not a power tool. All this—and more—in our sweet, sensible treat for your ears!

Are you thirsty for a new episode of When's Food? Because we're parrrched. This is not the water episode … but you KNOW things are going to still be whet. Welcome to another Family Dinner episode where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Anyone else feel like January has been about 78 days? It's the dead of winter and we can relate—dead inside, just like vampires. Uplifting, huh! What else does this bright, happy episode have for you? Plant murderers, deceased vehicles, ellipticals versus spheres, our villain origin stories and turd candy. So yeah, bet you definitely want to tune in!

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's … an idiot. That's right, we're talking about superheroes! While we are admittedly not huge superhero fans, we thought it would be fun to dive into the world of all things flying and powers and origin stories. Minus some other-worldly details, caped crusaders are pretty relatable right? Batman carries a glorified fanny pack, and who doesn't want that? Not to mention those tight pants they wear that just curve so perfect…ANYWAYS. In this episode we must make haste! There's a supervillain to stop so we don't have time to waste!

Welcome back to When's Food where food is always on the mind and the hosts are always salty. We're coming off the Christmas weekend and in the midst of the holiday season when almost every gathering revolves around food (PERFECT for us) so we came together for a Feast episode! What is a feast if you don't stare awkwardly at one another waiting for someone to say something … and if that doesn't describe this podcast we don't know what does! Join us and chow-down on some dry turkey, myrrh, solar plexus, lube luges and—most importantly—hot crossed buns. We hope y'all are having a safe, warm and merry holiday season!

We're back with another outstanding, groundbreaking, totally sensible Family Dinner episode! How would we summarize this next course of our Family Dinner series? “Stupid cripple crack of a crinkle cut.” Yup – that about sums it up. Tune in for ye old guide to throwing a holiday party (WHY are there so many birds?!), a tour around the holiday animal zoo of songs and literally hear us sing through some of the season's best bops. Happy Holidays from us idiots to you!

WARNING: We're debunking a few things that you and yours may not be ready for … because we're talking about Myths! Sometimes you just hear things throughout life or grow up on things that you think to be true … but are they? Well we're here to get to the bottom of some of the myths all around us. While we may not have dove to the bottom of Loch Ness to find Nessie, we still gave it our best go. Tune in to hear about The Truck Man, learn Pat's rat wives-tale and meet all of Junior's Aunt Lindas—all of them. Plus, we had our FIRST-EVER tangent that was actually on-topic?! (We're just as shocked as you.) The truth is out thereeeee … and we just my be stupid enough to stumble upon it.

Yeah, that's right, we're talking about pizza … AGAIN. Since we are 100 episodes in and it's a new season (and because we make the rules OKAY) we decided it was about time we revisit some of our hottest topics. Where better to start than good ole za?! In this episode you'll meet the esteemed chefs and businessmen William Cup and Edward Char, find out that a pizza oven, dutch oven and a dutch baby are in fact different things and we finally discover the point of that damn plastic table. Plus, find out if any of our opinions about Pizza have changed (spoiler alert: they have)!

Nuff said! It's been four years, nine seasons and ONE HUNDRED EPISODES of When's Food! Who let us get away with this?! Regale with us the moments of here and yon as we take a trip down memory lane and celebrate our centennial stupidity.

PANCAKES! MIMOSAS! BURGERS…? We've got the bacon dance in our pants because we're talking about BRUNCH! We all know that brunch is one of our “favorite” meals (like there's so many choices) so we thought it was about time we took a bite out of the love child of breakfast and lunch. In this episode we tackle all the important comments of brunch: What actually counts as “brunch”? Sweet or Savory? Mimosa or Bloody Mary? And WHO likes Eggs Benedict?! Last—and most important—why isn't it called brelunckfast?

Get out your reading glasses because the library is open, OFFICIALLY. We wanted to name this episode ‘Books' and the we realized we couldn't. Because we don't read books. Cool. Reading! We're a crack at all things word absorption. What book does Junior read every year? How do you even read a comic book? Why are there so many rainbows? Have we been societally predisposed to repel against books? Did any of those words make sense? You'll just have to turn the pages of this episode to find out!

We are here. And that's all y'all get! Yinz ready for this?! We're superimposing a brand-new ‘Family Dinner' episode in your general direction! Fall is in the air here in Buffalo, NY and we've got some deep dives into flannel and plaid and history. You know, only educational things here at When's Food. We've also got vehicle cults, candy corn, new jobs and men ripping logs apart with their bare hands. Also, we've got some dragon reproduction questions. Plus we're back on our soap box about work place clothes. Get your crystal goblet, fill it with gummy bears and get ready for all our newest stupidity!

Watch out – your favorite ding-dongs are talking about wing-dings! We live in BUFFALO the official home of the chicken wing (don't you DARE call them ‘Buffalo Wings'), so we know a thing or two about wings: girth, chewing, hand methods and jaw movements … need we say more? We're getting saucy with all the wing deets. Drums or flats? Classic or speciality? Using a fork? Best time to clean up? You KNOW we have opinions and—for the first time ever—we ALL agree on something! I know, we're shocked too. Plus, ‘Yuck or Yum' makes a triumphant, gooey return!

We've got our tomas in the sand and are ready to relax because this episode is all about vacations! We're giving Weezer a run for their money and talking about all the musts when you're on a holiday. Is there a difference between a trip, vacay and vacation? We cruise through the joys of staycations and our most memorable vacation. Plus, Junior asks the most hard hitting question: is a spleen real or is it a meat? Dust the sand out of your crevices and tune in for all this and more! We just hope it doesn't leave you wanting to take a vacation from this podcast…

Can you just hear that sizzle? We are in peak grillin' season and we're talking about cookouts! We waylaid into our hob knob of corn cobs and packed a picnic table full of opinions: White sauce! Butter Boys! Finishing well! We promise this episode isn't as inappropriate as it may sound…or is it? We're serving up answers to the toughest cookout questions: What's the best meat to grill? Why do you have to gender our potato salads? Why doesn't a charcuterie salad or a charfruiterie board exist? We think we really grilled it on this episode. P.S. – A watermelon isn't going to taste like a grape.

You know what they say…if you stay potey you don't have to get totey! And did you know that podcast backward is tsacdop? What?! This nonsense can only mean one thing…another Family Dinner episode! We talk about the sassiest waitress in all of Pittsburgh, current and possible hairstyles, upcoming trips and vacays, how it's summer shandy season and some more hot tea about online dating. (Straight dudes need HELP!) Plus, we surprised ourselves by actually cooking dinner for this one. Who knew!

Watch out—we're on a sugar high after this episode because we're talkin' all about candy! We take a deep dive into Wonka town and breaking down all things sweet: What's our go-to candy bar to buy at a gas station? How many holidays have their own special candy corn (and WHY!?)? Which candies give us the oh-ah sensation of Jesus? Are you team peeps? There's a lot of fructose packed in. Candy cigarettes y'all! Plus, we've got THE sweetest version of snack facts yet. Oh and Pat's eating teeth, so there's that. P.S. For one last time, they are PIECES of REESE'S

Start saving up your allowance because we're talking about TOYS! (Yinz get your heads' outta the gutter, we mean the kiddo kind.) We're getting nostalgic and playful takin' it way, way back to our childhood. Beanie Babies and Legos and Barbies – oh my! There's no more joyful memory than turning every single page of that big-ass department store holiday catalog and circling everything we wanted. Did ANYONE ever get anything they picked out? Also, Garbage Pal Kids … we've never felt more seen. PS, Ronald Nerf, if you're listening we have a message for you about chicken nugget transformers!

You might say we've been beefing ourselves up for this episode for a long time. That's right, in this episode we're talking about meat! And, ya know what, WE HAVE THE MEATS. In this episode we'll be saying meat approximately a thousand times. Right off the bat we're coming in hot with the age–old question: what is meat? Why do some animals not count? Birds, mammals, fish, amphibians—who makes the rules! Whatever it is, it's certainly not a vegetable. Find out what our ideal meat to serve is, but don't forget, eagle is illegal. Oh, and chicken wings!!! That's all. 

Sometimes we just have to mentally check out (read, all the time), and that's where our Family Dinners come in. We're serving up a fresh plate of ‘no brain cells, just vibes.' Listen to us find out what google stands for, learn about Pat's “feet preferences” and not-so-large snake. Plus, we discuss what shows we are currently obsessed with and take a deep dive into the world of Birkenstocks. Rounding it out we've got porch cats, attic bats, basement snacks, and more!

We. Love. Bread. Might be giving Oprah a run for her money with this one because it was about time we got grainular (hehe) and talked all things bread. We've got membranes and seeds, dough and crust, logs and loaves. Ever wondered the different between focaccia and ciabatta? Why is everyone so horny for sourdough? Ya know, all the necessary nonsense for the king of carbs. Plus, hold on to your croutons… Pat looks something up! Oh, the things we'll do for a bread tooth.

You can't spell plants with out PAT! We're growing with the flow in our new episode dedicated to everyone's favorite green babies. We've come a long way from the dried palms of the 80s and our resident plant dad is guiding us through the resurgence of house plants. We're branching out and talking all things growing: our favorite plants, weird-ass plant names, gardening plants…and even being plants. You know we didn't weed out any stupidity! Okay, we're done with plant puns now.

I put my hand up on my chip, when I dip, you dip, we dip! Catch this scoop: our new episode is all about dips! Smooth dips, chunky dips, hot dips, cold dips — all is fair in love and goops. Can you believe that we argued about pico vs salsa for two minutes straight? Things definitely get dicey. (See what we did there?) Also, Pat was basically in his misery the entire time. PS: Can we please agree that queso is the ultimate dip?

Spring is in the air and we're blossoming into … even bigger idiots. Sure, most Family Dinner episodes are a hot mess, but call the fire department because this one is ablaze! What's in store for your ears? Spring, science talk (yuck) about teeth and nails (even more yuck), conspiracy theories, the Mandela Effect, Jamba Juice, JNCO Jeans, Miracle Whip…we can't even explain it. No brain cells, just vibes.

Beep beep, who's got the keys to the Jeep? (Spoiler alert: Junior does!) Get ready to hit the road with When's Food, because we're talking all about driving. Your favorite backseat drivers are hitting the pedal to the metal with this road trip of an episode. Road rage, driving in weather, paper maps, honking, stop signs…we're speeding through all sorts of topics (but NEVER running a red light). Get in, loser we're going … to listen to this new episode.

Get ready to twirl your spoons and slurp into your mouth because we're talking about the slipperiest carb of them all: pasta! In this episode we're going over our sauce preferences, talking about pasta names and figuring out if Chef Boyardee is trash or a national treasure. Speaking of slippery… worms are back! (And you'll never guess why.) Fettuccini! Maultasche! Spaghetti! Cavatappi! Tagliatelle! Rotini! Mafaldine! Are those pastas or did we make them up?! Who knows. Tune in and find out!

What do RuPaul's Drag Race, bitcoin, chocolate hearts and pimple popping all have in common? Not a damn thing! That could only mean one thing: it's time for another Family Dinner episode. We sat down and talked about anything and everything that was on our minds. The metaverse? Sure. Serial killer vibes? Of course. NFTs? Why not. Spice World butts? Absolutely. All is fair in love and war and Family Dinner episodes.

Stop playing with that bubble wrap; we've got to get a move on! I think we can all agree that moving might just be one THE worst things in existence. (Giving blood and colonoscopies might give it a run for its money, but we digress.) In this episode we unpack various times that moving has played a roll in our lives and, of course, took some left turns into random tangent territory. Whether it be across the country or down the street, there was always one thing our moves have in common — we hated every minute of it. Grab your packing tape, you're gonna want to stick around for every minute of our moving mania!

Psssssssssssssssssssch. Can you just HEAR them seltzer bubbles popping? You're definitely gonna need a drink after this episode because we're talking all about booze! Vodka, tequila and rum — oh my! When did we start drinking? (If our mom's are reading this: age 21, of course.) What are our drinks of choice? How has our drinking habits changed over the years? We've got all these answers and more to quench your thirst in this doozy of a boozy episode.

We are saying goodbye to 2021 the best way we know how…with a big ol' family dinner episode! As with all our family dinners, we are all over the place. The first course is a little serving of Santa Claus and holiday traditions. Following that, our entrée is a big plate of states of matter and their relationship with food. And for dessert we've got a delicious … bagel husk (wtf?!) A roller coaster of an episode to match the roller coaster of a year it has been. We'll see you in 2022!

Are your notifications on? Because we're sliding into your DMs! It's time we dive into the digital world and talk all things social media. In this episode we discuss which platform we couldn't live without, how social media has shaped our lives and even come up with our own social network! We've got some shinning starts of days gone by (any LiveJournal fans out there?) and—of course—the current-reigning kweens of content. Will this episode make it on your Top 8 or just get us shadow-banned? Only time will tell!

This might just be the healthiest episode we have ever done… and we're so sorry about that. That's right, it's about time we finally eat our VEGETABLES. What does cruciferous mean? Is a baby corn really a corn? Why do olives exist? What does okra look like (and what is an okra)? Tomatoes? Potatoes? We are answering all of these questions and more in our newest episode (because we googled A LOT of things, which is very weird for us and we promise it won't happen again).

Can you believe that we've been screaming into the mic for THREE years?! (We sure can't!) We're celebrating our third anniversary and the end of season six with a Family Dinner episode. But the party doesn't stop there! Everyone's favorite Canadian is BACK. That's right, for one night only our favorite garbage person, Miss Becki Peckham, is back back back again. Becki returned for this very special episode and, as you can imagine, things went off the rails, fast. Cheers to three years, When's Foodies!

In the words of Madame X: Music! Makes the! People! Come together! Tunes have often found their way into our episodes, so we thought it was about time the beats had one of their own. Music took us on a surprising trip down memory lane: the first CD we owned, who the first artist was we saw in concert, where we were when THAT dance number released. Want the answers? Grab your headphones (because wires are cool again), tune in and find out!

Who's ready for our watermelon sugar?! We're diving into the juiciest part of the food pyramid in this episode! Fruit seems like such an innocent topic, right? What could possibly be controversial about an apple? Just you wait, When's Foodies! This isn't your summer party fruit salad, we go full-on scream in this fruit-fight of an episode. Who hates blueberries? Orange juice with pulp? RAISINS. Spit out those seeds and tune in!

This episode will leave you feeling squeaky clean because we're talking about chores! That's right, the chores that we hate to do, the chores that we love to do (is that even a thing?) and the chores that we got paid to do as kids…now can someone please give us an allowance for cleaning our rooms again?

Hey all you cool cats and kittens! You better sharpen those claws, because it's time to talk about our other furry friends: cats! We hope you're excited to hear about Pat's traumatic childhood cat story, what Junior thinks that a cat, a tattoo, and a house have in common, and the super special added bonus of Lindsay's “Cat Facts!” Meowwww

Hope you're hungry; it's time for our next family dinner! And that's not all, we're also welcoming our next dinner guest to the table! Give a warm welcome to our friend Ben Siegel, a local writer, journalist, arts critique and master of the sandwich. Ben got the full When's Food buffet of topics: membranes, eating mayonnaise with a spoon, contrasting condiments and—of course—tape worms! Did Ben enjoy the meal or just end up with indigestion? Tune in and find out.

Goopy apps, soupy apps; crunchy apps, munchy apps. Apps on apps on apps—sounds like our dream meal and also the topic of this episode: appetizers! We LOVE an appetizer and we're breaking down our favorite (and least favorite) bites to eat before the main course. Spoiler alert, lots of cheese is involved.

3W2? INFJ? ESTP? No, we aren't playing bingo ... we're talking about personalities! If you're a long time listener, you would know that the three of us have VERY different personalities. So, we decided to brake that down in a fun way in our newest episode. We took three popular personality tests, tried to guess each other's results, and discussed if we think it's accurate or not!

We're all born naked and the rest is … this episode! Clothes! We all wear them, but how often do you really think about what you wear? In this episode we are talking about what our clothing choices say about us: What are our favorite things that we have in our closet? How do we put together a *lewk* when we go out? Are we just too extra for the Buffalo scene? Grab your favorite garment, take a listen and find out!

Ding dong! Someone's at the door, but who could it be? It's our very first dinner guest Kate Welshofer! Kate is the host of Most Buffalo and one of our favorite humans, both in-person and on the internet. No topic is off limits with our guests: loose meat, haggis, tape worms (yes, again, we can't get enough) and a terrifying yet magical Christmas egg. We hope you love our first dinner guest as much as we do!

Circular. Meat. Shapes. That's right, this episode is all about…BURGERS! This one is packed tighter than a patty; we've got a new burger convert, a classification guide to types of burgers, the ONLY acceptable bun experience and more. Don't even get us started on membranes@ Plus, Lindsay and Junior try to force breakfast into every corner of the conversation. Does Pat let them get away with it? Listen to the episode and find out!

You know it was only a matter of time until we talked about our third, tasty co-host. That's right, this episode is all about Nick Junior! We're chatting all about who he is, what we love the most about him and he takes his crack at answering your super juicy, submitted questions. You may even learn a few brand-new word from the “Nick-tionary”!