Podcasts about music just a blip

Episode 37: Part 5 - Invest in yourself and your brand - who are you, like really? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.thebalancesmb.com/creating-and-growing-personal-brand-2295814 - Personal branding is the process of developing a "mark" that is created around your name or your career. You use this "mark" to express and communicate your skills, personality, and values. - Why Personal Brands Are for Everyone. Personal brands should be important to everyone. Personal brands are not only for the entrepreneur that owns their own business. It is the secret sauce that can make you stand out of a stack of resumes. "A brand is the set of expectations, memories, stories and relationships that, taken together, account for a consumer's decision to choose one product or service over another."– Seth Godin - A strong personal brand will impact your ability to get the right jobs, promotions, and increase your ability to attract talent and capital. So, let's look at these tips that can help you in creating your own personal brand: - Build Your Platform. If you are going to have a personal brand, you will need a website to create your virtual platform. Your website should be your name. You will also need social media accounts that represent your brand. You will use these platforms to share your voice. - Identify Your Uniqueness and Your Strengths. Think about the characteristics and strengths you've built in your career. If you are stuck, think about that "one thing" that everyone says you rock at. If you're still stuck, ask others. - Own Your Space. Once you've identified your uniqueness and strengths, perfect them. Learn all that you can and become the expert in that area. You can never stop learning. Read, absorb, and teach. "If you want to be truly successful, invest in yourself to get the knowledge you need to find your unique factor. When you find it and focus on it and persevere your success will blossom." -Sydney Madwed - Share Your Knowledge. It's not enough to learn it; you have to teach it and share your knowledge by helping others. This is where you prove you know your stuff and gain exposure from doing so. - Be Yourself. Find your own style. You don't have to do what everyone else is doing and just follow the crowd. Use your style and uniqueness to attract the jobs and clientele that you desire. Find your own style and create a new set of footprints for others to follow in.? "Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time and energy needed to develop yourself." -Denis Waitley - Identify Your Values and Set Your Priorities. It's important to have a clear picture of your personal and professional goals, both short and long-term. This will help you to not only identify the most important things to spend your time on but will also have something to align new projects with. - Identifying your emotional appeal. What are your personality features? This can be as easy as saying you have a crazy sense of humor or that you are obsessively organized. Take a few moments, why do you think people are attracted to the brand of you?Describing yourself. When it comes to your brand who are you and why do people enjoy working with you? "At the center of your being you have the answer: you know who you are and you know what you want. "– Lao Tzu -Building a personal brand takes time and effort, but it's worth it. The need for a personal brand will continue to increase. It's the one thing that no one can take away from you, and it can follow you throughout your career.  "You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do." - Henry Ford

Episode 37: Part 4 - Invest in yourself and your brand - who are you, like really? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.thebalancesmb.com/what-is-personal-branding-4056073 - It used to be that creating a personal brand meant you had a bunch of business cards made up—and if you were really creative, you hired a graphic designer to create a logo for you. But, with the development of social media and an increasingly individualized society, the brand you build around yourself is perhaps the single most important way you can stand out in your spheres of influence. If you're just beginning to think about your personal brand, it's crucial that you understand that personal branding is the means by which people remember you. "Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead." -Morihei Ueshiba - It's more than a trademark or a stunning logo—it is how you present yourself online and offline to potential clients and customers. Your brand image is what you create to help build your business. Your personal brand centers around you as an individual. - Defining Your Personal Brand Means Knowing Your Audience. If you're looking to define your own personal brand, first you need to consider the kind of impression that you want to build and the market you want to target. Where do the two intersect? What does each look like and what does each want? What problems do they have? If you can build a solid personal reputation as someone who cares and truly wants the best for their clients, you'll succeed. "Personal development is a major time-saver. The better you become, the less time it takes you to achieve your goals." -Brian Tracy - Work the Offline World. Personal branding isn't bound to the internet. When you leave your home and interact with people around town, make sure you maintain a positive and professional appearance in keeping with your brand. Carry business cards with you at all times, and keep an eye out for potential clients. People love to support local businesses and other professionals, and if you make a good impression they'll be more eager to look into your services—and hire you or refer you to someone who will. "As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do." - Andrew Carnegie - Consistency Is Key. One of the key components of successful of personal branding is staying true (i.e., consistent) to your brand. Clients will start recognizing your brand once they've encountered it several times. And, if you change your image mid-stream, clients will get confused, and ultimately not know (or trust) you. If you're using multiple platforms (e.g., a website and glossy color brochures), you need to keep your overall image and appearance the same. One way to accomplish this is to make sure your color schemes, logos, personal mottos, and your overview business look and feel are the same. "Once you realize that you have identified a passion, invest in yourself. Figure out what you need to know, what kind of experience and expertise you need to develop to do the things that you feel in your heart you will enjoy and that will sustain you both mentally and economically." -Martha Stewart

Episode 37: Part 3 - Invest in yourself and your brand - who are you, like really? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.huffingtonpost.com/megan-tull/top-10-ways-to-invest-in-_b_8406130.html - 4. Invest in building your confidence. People who know their value, have something to say and others will listen. You can invest in yourself by developing an understanding of the value that you possess and offer others. Learn to have the courage to speak your truth. The more you love yourself and own the value that you offer, the more confident you will become in sharing it with others.- Develop your skills. Improving your skills doesn't always mean investing in higher education, though that's surely an option, and perhaps a necessary one depending upon your career field. Investing in your knowledge and skills can take many forms. In addition, expanding your level of knowledge and skill isn't limited to the business arena and doesn't necessarily need to be formal. There are many “skill investment” avenues. - Advance your education – extra classes, advanced degrees, relevant certifications, are all valuable investments. Take classes, either in person or online. "Invest in yourself first. Expect nothing from no one and be willing to work for everything." -Tony Gaskins - Attend seminars and workshops to expand your knowledge and skills in your business and/or personal life. This will also give you the opportunity to meet and interact with individuals who are like-minded. -Take care of your health. Eat right each day, fueling your body with nutrients. When you focus on eating organic and healthier choices, you will feel better and have more energy. I know that the unhealthy burger or cupcake gives us instant gratification, but if you're like me, you regret it later, because you feel lousy afterwards. Exercise daily. Do something every day to get moving and get your heart rate up, even, if it's just walking the dog. Exercise gives you the energy to take on the day with confidence because of how it makes you look and feel. - Read – anything and everything. Explore culture – attend performances, listen to different style of music, travel, or join an organization or group comprised of people from different backgrounds. Open your mind – engage in conversations with those who disagree with you. Look at an argument and try to make a case for the opposing point of view. Keep your mind active – play word games, (yes, even Words with Friends counts,) board games that include strategy, or try using your brain to perform simple calculations rather than relying on a calculator. "Income seldom exceeds personal development." -Jim Rohn - Polish the exterior – translation: take care of the outside too. Many people dismiss this as frivolous and self-indulgent, but it's not, as long as you don't go overboard. We're not talking about facelifts and Botox, we're talking about getting a fabulous haircut, and wearing clothes that make you feel confident and attractive. "It hurts like hell when the world won't invest in you. But it's excruciating, almost more than you can bear, when you don't believe and invest in yourself."-Julia Cameron - Choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice. Happy people choose to focus on the positive aspects of life, rather than the negative. They are not held hostage by their circumstances. They look at all the reasons to be grateful. “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”- Abraham Lincoln - Work on your bucket list. If you don't have a bucket list, then it's time to start one. Your bucket list is meant to be a list of everything you want to achieve, do, see, feel and experience in your life. Your list may be ongoing, but you can start by writing 100 things down. Then each month or so, make sure you're knocking out at least, one of the items on your list. - Invest in a coach. A coach can assist you in putting all of these strategies into action. A coach is your partner in success. It is their job to assist you in creating and implementing your success plan, so you can become the best that you can be. "Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment." -Stephen Covey

Episode 37: Part 2 - Invest in yourself and your brand - who are you, like really? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.huffingtonpost.com/megan-tull/top-10-ways-to-invest-in-_b_8406130.html - There's a wealth of benefits that can be gained from investing in yourself. Here's a look at just a few: Satisfaction. When you take the time, or make the time, to invest in yourself, you will be rewarded with a tremendous sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Whether you invest in fitness, health, or creative pursuits, the sense of accomplishment that comes when you achieve or finish something can be extremely beneficial and can do wonders for your mindset. - Confidence. Deep down, we're often afraid to say yes to self-investments because we feel that we don't deserve it, or that we won't be able to experience the full benefit. But saying yes and making that initial investment in yourself—whether it's signing up for a workshop, going in for that checkup, or hiking that mountain—can boost your confidence tremendously; improving your outlook as well. When you have confidence, you can achieve more things than you ever thought possible, and will be able to set your sights higher, and reach those goals that you may have once thought out of reach. - Stability. When you invest in something that will benefit you mentally—whether it's learning something new, or refining your skills, you'll be able to help to add more stability to your life. For many of us, we invest a lot in our employer, doing tasks that benefit them, at the expense of neglecting our own skills. But it's important to remember that no job is guaranteed. By developing and deepening your skills can work to create a more stable future. "The best gift, and investment, you can give your child is your time." -Kevin Heath - Connections. Investing in yourself can open the opportunity to forge new connections. Investing in relationships and people who mean a lot to you can help to deepen and strengthen others as well as yourself. Never underestimate the power of a good friend! - Top 10 Ways to Invest in Yourself 1. Set goals. Learn how to set personal and business goals for yourself. If you're not taking the time to set goals it's like driving in the dark with the headlights turned off. You will not know where you're going and you will waste precious time. Be sure to also set some time frames in which to meet them. Your goals should be SMART goals -Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely. "Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." -Warren Buffett - 2. Honor your intuition. You can show yourself love by trusting your gut and honoring the message that it's sending. Listening to your intuition, will allow you to make better decisions. Valuing your intuition, by not allowing the thoughts, feelings or statements of others to take away from what you know to be true is very empowering. By paying attention to how you feel, it will help you to make better, smarter and quicker decisions. - 3. Invest time in your creativity. Our creativity doesn't have to diminish as we get older. In fact, it is believed that the peak of creativity in most people is around 30-40 years old. (Lindaur, 1998, Marisiske &Willis, 1998) Creativity can be the catalyst in the manifestation of continual learning and lifelong activity. It allows us to be inspired, have fun and appreciate the beauty in the world. "Old men are always advising young men to save money. That is bad advice. Don't save every nickel. Invest in yourself. I never saved a dollar until I was forty years old." -Henry Ford

Episode 37: Part 1 - Invest in yourself and your brand - who are you, like really? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License http://www.blog.daydesigner.com/invest-in-yourself/ "The best investment you can make is in yourself." -Warren Buffett - Why It's Important to Invest in Yourself and Why You're Not Doing It. When it comes to investments, one of the best you can make is in yourself! But all too often, investing in ourselves is a low-priority item; something we think about doing someday. Why is investing in yourself so powerful? Investing in yourself, sends a powerful message to yourself and the world. The message is: - Time and money are among the top reasons that we give for putting off things that would enrich our lives. But while it's true that you may not have a lot of extra time or money lying around, it's important to realize that often, we cite those reasons not because we really can't afford it or couldn't find time for it, but instead because we fail to recognize the real value in investing in ourselves. "Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune." -Jim Rohn - Whether it's because we feel that we won't benefit enough to make the investment worthwhile, or if we're telling ourselves that we're just not worth the risk—those are tremendously sad reasons when you think about it! The fact is that we are worth it, and if we don't venture out on a limb or try new things, we'll never be able to grow as a person. "Man’s life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self." -B. R. Ambedkar - Investing in Yourself: Where to Start? There are plenty of ways to invest in yourself and there really is something for everyone and every budget. Here's a look at a few worthwhile investments that can produce excellent rewards: FitnessEducationExperiencesReading more booksSpending time in natureCreative pursuits—Writing, sculpting, painting, drawing  "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." -Ernest Hemingway "An investment in education is an investment in our future." -David Wasinger

Episode 35 : Part 4 - Finding your passion: Searching for the holy grail? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License www.oprah.com/supersoulsunday/the-secret-to-finding-your-passion-hint-its-not-what-you-think_1 - The last thing you want to do is live an unfulfilled, passionless life. A life where you hate your work, take the stress of a crappy job home with you each day, and bide your time until you can retire and be free of the monotony. Avoid the following seven mistakes when trying to find your passions: - Assuming Passions are Reserved for Experts. Who comes to mind when you think of somebody who has a passionate career? If you’re a sports fan, maybe you think of a professional athlete. If you’re a literature buff, maybe you think of a great writer. If you’re a tech nerd, maybe you think of Steve Jobs. It’s true that we’re more likely to enjoy doing something we’re good at, but nobody is born an expert at something, so don’t write off the interests that excite you even if you’re a novice. "Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." -Henri Frederic Amiel - Overlooking Your Biggest Fans. Real quick: name one of your best friend’s passions. Your friend may never have told you that the thing you named was her passion, but you just knew. Yet it’s difficult to pinpoint our own. One huge mistake you may be making as you search for your passions is overlooking your biggest fans – the people who know and love you. If you can’t pinpoint what you are passionate about, ask your family and friends what they think your passions are. - Thinking of Passion as a Verb. You probably think of somebody who is passionate about something active, like painting or sports. This is a mistake. When you’re searching for your passion to pursue work you love, you tend to get stuck on the idea that your passion has to be something that you do, rather than something you believe in, so knitting or playing hockey or painting come to mind. Your passion doesn’t have to be something you do. It can be something you believe in. "Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things." -Denis Diderot - Believing That Passions Last a Lifetime. Close your eyes and picture yourself ten years ago. How much have you changed between then and now? How much have you grown and evolved? Chances are, you’re not the same person as you were back then. Yet we tend to expect that we’ll stick with the same passions throughout our entire lives. We humans are fluid and ever-changing, and the notion that our passions are something we are passionate about for life is misguided. - Rejecting Passions Because They Seem Frivolous. We want to be the type of people who pursue passions that could change the world. We’re good people, so we want to pursue passions around social causes. And you probably are passionate about a certain social cause. But a less philanthropic passion is just as worthy, and just as you can’t pick your family, you can’t choose what lights that fire for you. Don’t reject your passions because they don’t conform to a set of standards you’ve set. "You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out." -Steve Jobs - Expecting Too Much from Passions. You have a specific idea of what a passion does.Passionate people teach us that passions make our hearts beat faster, get us up in the morning, and consume us completely. So you want your passions to motivate you and drive you to the finish line. But sometimes, your passion is just something that quietly tugs at you. - Discounting Your Personality. Have you ever looked at somebody who was clearly so fired up about something and wondered whether you’ll ever feel the same way? Why? Well, because you are not that person! You may have passions but never recognize them as passions because, in comparison to others, you just don’t get as excited about them. We have the tendency to compare ourselves to others in almost everything, but especially people who are front and center. "Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort." -Franklin D. Roosevelt - Go Grab Your Passions by The Horns. When you’re trying to find and pursue your passions, you can easily drown in a sea of voices louder than your own about what passion should look like. "Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." -Theodore Roosevelt

Episode 35 : Part 3 - Finding your passion: Searching for the holy grail? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.lifehack.org/articles/featured/how-to-find-your-passion.html - So what should you do? How to find your passion in life? Here are some suggestions: Ask yourself: Is there something you already love doing? Do you have a hobby, or something you loved doing as a child, but never considered it as a possibility? Whether it’s reading comic books, collecting something, making something, creating or building, there is probably a way you could do it for a living. - Find out What do you love to talk about, learn about and/or teach others about? With nearly 7 billion people on the planet, chances are that there's a market out there hungry for information, products or resources on your topic. Or there's a company looking for someone with your unique set of gifts and interests to join their team. If you're having trouble coming up with ideas, ask close friends and family (the honest ones) what you never seem to shut up about. - Brainstorm. Nothing comes to mind right away? Well, get out a sheet of paper, and start writing down ideas. Anything that comes to mind, write it down. There are no bad ideas at this stage. Write everything down, and evaluate them later. Notice any themes? What subjects are you constantly gravitating toward? What are you already spending your time, money and energy on? What theme(s) have been recurring in your life again and again? "There is no passion to be found playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." -Nelson Mandela - Ask around, and surf for possibilities. Ask other people for ideas. See what others have discovered as their passions. Look all over the Internet for ideas. The more possibilities you find, the more likely your chances of finding your true passion. - Love everything you do. From this moment forward, if you don't like something, you've got two choices: stop doing it (quit, delegate it, hire it out) OR love it with all your heart. Anything else is madness. Remember, we human beings are creatures of habit. You can't be whiny, complainy and miserable for 80 percent of your day and expect to be enthusiastic and passionate in the last 20 percent. And if you're feeling really stuck on this whole "finding your passion" thing, this is the fastest way to get your motor running. Know this: Truly successful people are never the victim of their circumstances. They realize they have ultimate power in any situation and take responsibility for their experience. - Give it a try first. It’s best to actually test your new idea before jumping into it as a career. Do it as a hobby or side job at first, so that you can see if it’s really your true calling. Don’t quit your job just yet.If you find your calling, your passion, don’t just turn in your resignation tomorrow. It’s best to stay in your job while you’re researching the possibilities. If you can do your passion as a side job, and build up the income for a few months or a year, that’s even better. It gives you a chance to build up some savings (and if you’re going into business for yourself, you’ll need that cash reserve), while practicing the skills you need. - Do as much research as possible. Know as much about your passion as possible. If this has been a passion for awhile, you may have already been doing this. At any rate, do even more research. Read every website possible on the topic, and buy the best books available. Find other people, either in your area or on the Internet, who do what you want to do for a living, and quiz them about the profession. How much do they make? What training and education did they need? What skills are necessary? How did they get their start? What recommendations do they have? "If you don’t love what you do, you won’t do it with much conviction or passion." -Mia Hamm - Practice, and practice, and practice some more. Don’t go into it with amateur skill level. If you want to make money — to be a professional — you need to have professional skills. Get very good at your future career and you will make money at it. Practice for hours on end. If it’s something you love, the practice should be something you want to do. "A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position." -John C. Maxwell - Never quit trying. Can’t find your passion at first? Give up after a few days and you’re sure to fail. Keep trying, for months on end if necessary, and you’ll find it eventually. Thought you found your passion but you got tired of it? No problem! Start over again and find a new passion. There may be more than one passion in your lifetime, so explore all the possibilities. Found your passion but haven’t been successful making a living at it? Don’t give up. Keep trying, and try again, until you succeed. Success doesn’t come easy, so giving up early is a sure way to fail. Keep trying, and you’ll get there. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do" - Steve Jobs

Episode 35 : Part 2 - Finding your passion: Searching for the holy grail? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.lifehack.org/articles/featured/how-to-find-your-passion.html - How to cultivate a “growth” mind-set in the young, future-psychology-experiment subjects of America? If you’re a parent, you can avoid dropping new hobbies as soon as they become difficult. Beyond that, there’s not a clear way to develop a growth mind-set about interests, other than knowing that it’s a valid way to think, and that your passion might still be around the corner. “Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman -The Legend of Baggar Vance—a movie about a down-on-his-luck golfer who enlists the help of an inspirational golf caddy (Baggar Vance) to perfect his game. In one of the scenes, Baggar says to the golfer: “Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing. Something we were born with. Something that’s ours and ours alone. Something that can’t be taught to you or learned. Something that got to be remembered.” Your passion—your one true authentic gift—has to be remembered. "I would rather die of passion than of boredom." -Vincent Van Gogh - For so long, we have been searching, trying new things, exploring jobs, careers, and “attractive” passions outside of myself—without ever trying to remember what passions have been with us all along. But how could a passion be so…plain? Aren’t passions supposed to be artistic, exotic, or inspirational? Aren’t passions supposed to wow people?So if you’re struggling to find your passion, even after trying what feels like doing everything, do this: sit down, open your journal, pour a cup of tea, and try to remember your passions. "I have to face life with a newly found passion. I must rediscover the irresistible will to learn, to live and to love." -Andrea Bocelli - Think back on your life, and remember things you wanted to be, the habits you developed naturally, the games you played, the books you read, and see how they may apply to your life and career today. You might be surprised by the connection points that have been right under your nose all along. - If you dread going to your job, or find yourself constantly lacking motivation, or find what you’re doing dull and repetitive, you need to start looking for a new job. Staying in your current job will not only continue to make you unhappy, but you are not realizing your full potential in life. - Imagine this instead: You get up early, jumping out of bed, excited to go to work. You might put in more hours than the average person, but it doesn’t seem difficult to you, because your work hours just zoom right by. You are often in that state of mind, often referred to as “flow,” where you can lose track of the world and time, losing yourself in the task at hand. Work is not work as many people refer to it, but something that is fun and interesting and exciting. It’s not a “job” but a passion. If you’ve got a job you dislike, or even hate, this will sound like a pipe dream to you. And if you never put in the effort to find what you’re passionate about, you’re right: such a thing will never be possible. - But dare to dream, dare to imagine the possibilities, and dare to actually search for what you love, and it is not only a possibility, but a probability.

Episode 35 : Part 1 - Finding your passion: Searching for the holy grail?Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://tinybuddha.com/blog/try-this-if-youre-struggling-to-find-your-passion/ "Passion without purpose is like a shot without a target."- Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha - Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford University, remembers asking an undergraduate seminar recently, “How many of you are waiting to find your passion?” “Almost all of them raised their hand and got dreamy looks in their eyes,” she told me. They talked about it “like a tidal wave would sweep over them.”  - What Dweck asked her students is a common refrain in American society. The term “Follow your passion” has increased ninefold in English books since 1990. “Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life” is another college-counseling standby of unknown provenance. "Vision without action is a daydream; action without vision is a nightmare" -Honda Soichiro - That’s why he and two co-authors—Dweck and Greg Walton of Stanford—recently performed a study that suggests it might be time to change the way we think about our interests. Passions aren’t “found,” they argue. They’re developed. In a paper that is forthcoming in Psychological Science, the authors delineate the difference between the two mind-sets. One is a “fixed theory of interests”—the idea that core interests are there from birth, just waiting to be discovered—and the other is a “growth theory,” the idea that interests are something anyone can cultivate over time. - The authors then repeated a similar procedure, but they had students read first about either the fixed theory of interests or the growth theory. Again, those who learned that interests are fixed throughout a person’s life were less captivated by an article that mismatched their interests. The authors believe this could mean that students who have fixed theories of interest might forgo interesting lectures or opportunities because they don’t align with their previously stated passions. Or that they might overlook ways that other disciplines can intersect with their own. - People who have a growth mind-set about their own intelligence tend to be less afraid of failure, according to her research, because they believe smarts are cultivated, not inherent. Interests are related to, but distinct from, abilities, the study authors told me: You can be interested in something but not very good at it. “I’ve been playing guitar for 25 years, but I can’t say that my abilities have gotten that much better in the past 10 years,” O’Keefe said. "Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work" - Aristotle - The authors also had students learn about either fixed or growth theory and then exposed them to a new interest: Astronomy. First, they had them watch a video made by The Guardian for a general audience about Stephen Hawking’s ideas. It was easy to understand and entertaining. Then the authors had the students read a highly technical, challenging article in the academic journal Science about black holes. Despite saying just moments ago, after viewing the video, that they were fascinated by black holes, the students who were exposed to the fixed theory of interests said they were no longer interested in black holes after reading the difficult Science article.

Episode 28 - Loving Yourself: How can you love others without it? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat/2013/01/self-esteem-vs-self-love.htmlhttps://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/power-tools/silvia-richter-kaupp-self-love-vs-self-esteem/https://christieinge.com/self-love-quotes/ Self-esteem - Most people determine their worth based upon other-esteem. They seek approval and validation from others, and their opinion of themselves isn’t very high unless they get it. It’s basically what you think of yourself. The biggest obstacle to self-esteem is self-criticism. Self-Acceptance - Unlike self-esteem which varies, self-acceptance is steady and unconditional. You accept yourself despite your flaws, failures, and limitations. You’re more self-forgiving and let go of self-judgment.  Self-acceptance works wonders. Once you start accepting yourself, you gradually stop worrying what others think and become more spontaneous and natural. Self-acceptance is what allows you to be authentic. You can finally relax, and allow more of the inner, real you to be seen.  Self-Love Whereas self-esteem is an evaluation and acceptance is an attitude, love combines both feeling and action. Contrary to what many believe, self-love is healthy.  You can’t hate yourself happy. You can’t criticize yourself thin. You can’t shame yourself worthy. Real change begins with self-love and self-care. ~ Jessica Ortner Most people think too little of themselves, not too much, and often falling in love is merely a compensation for inner emptiness, loneliness, and shame. No wonder most relationships fail (including those who stay together).  People often think that self-love and self-esteem are one and the same. But that’s not true. While they do support each other and are built from similar factors, they are different aspect of the way you view and treat yourself. Having one can help you build the other. Just as it is not possible to love any person we meet on the spot, it is not possible to love ourselves as of now. But love can grow over time, including self-love. If we want to love ourselves, we should start behaving like someone who we can love! In order to develop the consciousness state of self-love a third ‘self’ is required: self-compassion. Self-compassion is described as a mindful, accepting and friendly attitude towards oneself. Self-compassion is comprised of three elements: self-kindness, accepting our humanness and interdependence, mindfulness. Self-kindness entails being gentle and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer or feel inadequate rather than ignoring our pain or minimizing ourselves with self-criticism. Self-compassion also involves recognizing our essential interdependence and that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of our shared human experience. Self-compassion is not equivalent with self-pity, self-indulgence and egoism. When feeling self-pity we become so immersed in our own problems that we forget that others have similar problems. In contrast, with the perspective of self- compassion we see the related experiences we share with others and widen our view. Be the love you never received. ~ Rune Lazuli Compassion for others results from empathy. The same with self-compassion: it arises from self-empathy. Thus, self-empathy is a prerequisite for self-compassion and self-compassion a prerequisite for self-love. The good news is: self-empathy is a skill which can be learned and developed! In contrast to self-esteem, self-compassion is not based on self-evaluations. We don’t have to feel better than others to feel good about ourselves. With self- compassion the good feelings don’t result from our successes but from the fact that we take care of ourselves – especially when things don’t run smoothly. With self-compassion we behave like a friend would do it: She calls us to hear how we do.  The journey isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about loving who you are right now. ~ Suzanne Heyn Research indicates that self-compassion is superior to self-esteem in difficult times. Self-compassion catches us when self-esteem lets us down. People with pronounced self-compassion have more accurate self-concepts, less narcissism and reactive anger, more caring relationships, higher self-efficacy and emotional resilience, they are more likely to reach their goals, suffer rarely from depression and anxiety and recover better from strokes than people who meet themselves critically. Self-compassion is an indispensable qualification for mental health.   How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. ~ Rupi Kaur From what I’ve seen, having good self-esteem is more prevalent than loving yourself. And you can have good self-esteem in some areas of your life and not in others. You might be confident about work but not your social skills. When you love yourself, you accept yourself with those shortcomings and it improves your overall self-esteem. Pay attention to how you feel in different situations. Notice when you feel the most confident and remind yourself you’re the same person in other areas. Love it all—the very good way you handle yourself sometimes—and the times you’re not as good as you’d like to be. None of us are perfect, and it’s okay, as long as you accept that. When we make peace with ourselves, we spontaneously make peace with the world. ~ Debbie Ford

Trust: Once burnt twice shy? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License Trust—the act of placing confidence in someone or something else—is a fundamental human experience, necessary for society to function and for any person to be relatively happy. Without it, fear rules.  If you can sense that someone will hurt you, you’re probably right. They probably will hurt you. Your heart and your head will wage a civil war within you, and though all of your practical sensibilities will encourage — no, will urge — your head to secede, your heart will prevail in this scenario. "To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float." Alan Watts Here’s three common reasons that hold you back from trusting others:1. You have a low propensity to trust – Our propensity to trust is based on many factors, chief among them being our personality, early childhood role models and experiences, beliefs and values, culture, self-awareness and emotional maturity.  2. You have unrealistic expectations – Unrealistic, unspoken, and unclear expectations are a primary cause for low or broken trust in relationships, and the higher the expectations the more likely it is they won’t be met. Clarifying expectations is preventative medicine when it comes to trust.  3. Past hurts hold you back – Hurt people, those who have been hurt by broken relationships in the past often hurt other people in a dysfunctional form of self-protection.  "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new" - Albert Einstein Everyone has uncertainty about whom to trust, how much to trust, when not to trust, and so forth at one time or another. In fact, every day we make choices about whom and how much to trust, and sometimes we are more willing to trust than at other times.  Signs that a person may be excessively mistrustful include: A total lack of intimacy or friendships due to mistrustMistrust that interferes with one's primary relationshipSeveral intensely dramatic and stormy relationships in a row or at once Mistrust is a valid and reasoned response to feeling betrayed or abandoned, but a person's life can be adversely affected when feelings of mistrust are pervasive, resulting in anxiety, anger, or self-doubt. "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough" - Frank Crane The problem with thinking that people aren’t trust worthyIf you believed in any idea then your subconscious mind will gather for you all the clues that proves this idea true.  If a girl thinks that she should never trust a guy then her subconscious mind will let her fall in love with a liar who will then cheat on her just to prove to her that she should not trust anyone. That’s why some women tend to always get into abusive relationships. Because they think that all men are abusers their subconscious minds always finds them abusive guys to support their beliefs. How to Trust people Again "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them" - Ernest Hemingway Whenever you have problems trusting someone ask yourself these questions, if someone wasn’t trust worthy does this mean that the whole world is not? If I had a car accident one day does this mean that I should not cross the street anymore?  Whenever you find yourself prejudging others remind yourself that your subconscious mind can prove this idea even if it was false. The only way you can find the truth about people is avoiding any kind of bias, only then you will discover who is really trust worthy and who isn’t .Allow others to trust you by being honest. People who cheat on others and who lie often usually have problems trusting others because they think that everyone else is going to be like them. "Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none." William Shakespeare

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License Perseverance. Definition: consistent continuation in the act of a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties,obstacles, or discouragement. "Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson Perseverance is the continuation of commitment through action in spite of the lack of success. It is also the ability to overcome the repetitiveness of problems from difficult situations. Perseverance is all about having stamina and endurance during the time of struggle. "With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable" - thomas fowell buxton Whether you’re working to master a skill that will qualify you for the next step up in your profession, or fielding interruptions from kids while you try to finish a household task, your success often hinges on your ability to refocus on your goal again and again. "The key to success is action, and the essential in action is perseverance." - Sun Yat-sen Always keep an end goal and the bigger picture in mind. If you want something different out of life, you need to act and be different. If you want the same as everyone else then you can act the same as everyone else. Trust me, that’s much easier. It’s easy to swim with the school. It’s much more difficult to swim upstream and go against the grain. But you have to persevere and be more than the average. You need to ask yourself what you want out of life. Is it worth persevering for? "Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did". - Newt Gingrich Persistence. Definition: to continue steadfastly or firmly in some state, purpose, course of action, or the like Persistence is the choice to continue something, in spite of difficulty and opposition, and struggle to achieve that goal. The single-mindedness of a person brings out the dedication that he or she wants and needs in order to achieve their dream. "A river cuts through a rock not because of it's power but it's persistence" - Jim Watkins All of us have plans, but we plan with the ideal outcomes in mind. Unfortunately, life never turns out that way. A tragedy could occur; some unfortunate circumstance. Anything basically; that could throw your plan out of the window. Instead; persist. Stick to your plan. Ignore the noise. Keep a spreadsheet on your computer, a picture on your wall, a scale in the bathroom, a checklist on your refrigerator. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Whatever you need to keep reminding yourself why you’re doing whatever you’re doing and keep persisting. "After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb" - Nelson Mandela Sometimes persistence is mind-numbingly boring. It's just part of the process. A lack of persistence or "giving up too soon" is one of the most common reasons for failure in any endeavor. A little more persistence, a little more effort is sometimes what you need to get closer to the goal. "If you wish to be out front, act as if you were behind." —Lao Tzu Again, all the planning and preparation is important. But it doesn't stop there. And, in the long run, you'll need patience along with perseverance to overcome the inevitable obstacles you'll run into in your journey down the path of success. Perseverance is the intentional and creative part of endurance. Being patient and persistent will get you started on your journey. Persevering will use the patience and persistence you've developed to overcome the many different obstacles you'll encounter along the road to success.Keeping on is persistence and the definition of perseverance: to keep on keeping on .   "Winners never quit, and quitters never win" - Vince Lombardi

Luck. How far can it bring you? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License "I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it" - Thomas Jefferson- Psychologists use the term hindsight bias to describe our tendency to think, after the fact, that an event was predictable even when it wasn’t. Hindsight bias, also known as the knew-it-all-along effect or creeping determinism, is the inclination, after an event has occurred, to see the event as having been predictable, despite there having been little or no objective basis for predicting it. People really don’t like to hear success explained away as luck—especially successful people. - Now when we tell stories, we're all biased; events that turned out negatively against us are easier to recall than those that were positive. Tom Gilovich calls this the headwinds/tailwinds Asymmetry- Life ultimately, is a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the harder you work, the more opportunities you expose yourself to; and the better your outcomes tend to be. Talk about future episode about the 3 Ps, Preserverence; patience and persistence. "Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity" - Lucius Annaeus Seneca- We should keep working and exposing ourselves to opportunities. Similar to our episode on challenges and failures, we need to keep going. Because; like life, luck is a numbers' game; but one which actually works in our favor.- We need to remember that there is a full spectrum to what we consider as luck. Very good luck could happen whereby some people just happen to make the right moves at the right time or happen to know the right people or end up in the right set of circumstances. Or Very bad luck. Some people make all the right moves, but it’s not the right time. We covered this specifically in our episode on failures; and why you should just treat it as a failed number and move on and try a new approach.- Luck might give you the first opportunity, but you have to be ready to act on it. Not making the most or giving your all for opportunities just because you have been hurt from past failures will mean that you are sabotaging your own chances of success."Luck always seems to be against the man who depends on it" - Anon- In the end, there are 2 ways to look at luck. The passive attitude on luck. In this case, you assume that success is outside of your control, and there’s no point in trying to hard since you assume you won't get it. And the positive attitude on luck.- More important than luck though; is gratitude. Almost all of us born and located in peaceful, developed countries. Even though we may not be doing "well" or be very wealthy or as successful as we want to be; we are most definitely doing much better than a similar person in a 3rd world country or in a country with war. - Instead of looking at luck and seeing missed chances, look at the luck and good fortune you HAVE benefited from. Be thankful and grateful; because Gratitude strengthens our emotions. - we may even find that recognizing our luck increases our good fortune; when we give more and become more generous, we increase our opportunities inadvertently.

Luck. How far can it bring you? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/05/why-luck-matters-more-than-you-might- think/476394/ - Definition: success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.- Most people give luck more credit than it is due. Sunny skies that happened when you REALLY needed it? Luck. Cloudy and rainy day on someone else's parade? Bad luck. Also, we tend to blame luck when sometimes, a lack of planning on our side could be more likely. - Luck means different things to different people. Some people pick up a coin and call it lucky. Some people pick up the same coin and call it unlucky because it's associated with some bad history. - Some people go even further and associate fortune and luck with religion instead. That they were "chosen" to receive such good fortune when it favors them. And the same would also take it personally when it goes against them.- Talk about my own experience with luck and how; generally, I'm considered an "unlucky" person except when it comes to what matters in life - career, work and money (sometimes). Luck is ultimately a perspective thing. "The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act" - Barbara Sher- In Frans Johansson’s book The Click Moment; he states that for activities with clear fixed rules; sports, chess, and music — the only way to succeed is to put in more deliberate practice than your peers. For activities with rapidly evolving and changing rules — such as business or investing — success comes when you change the rules to a new configuration that catches the opportunity at just the right time. - The reality would be something more in the middle. In both activities; it is the deliberate act of persistence and not giving up which would eventually open up more opportunities. 

Honesty, the only policy? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.huffingtonpost.com/karen-ann-kennedy/is-honesty-really-the-bes_b_6171242.html "Honesty without kindness, humor and goodheartedness can be just mean" - Pema Chodron - Talk about introduction and how advise needs to be properly applied. Like would you want someone to tell you that you're ugly; although beauty is in the eye of the beholder. - Talk about balance and how it's practical not just as a star wars movie plot. Extremes are never good because you're over-doing something. Most of us are taught from young to be honest. - It's worth to understand why people lie. FEAR – The world tells us that if you don't know something, you're worthless. As such, most people choose the easy way out, which is to pretend to know something. After all; con- sultants make a living out of this. Almost all of us practice this to some degree, making "fake it till you make it" something real. MANIPULATE – Now, a personal agenda is almost always a reason for lying; to influence the decisions of other people to do what the person lying wants. For example, the word "love" is probably the most over-used in lies in order to get the other person emotionally vested to serve the lying person's agenda. PRIDE – Most of us would think that we are above lying for the sake of it. But think about how often we have lied to people we love about the reality of a situation. For example, people who are not doing well normally try to project a different picture and even spend money they can't afford to spread that image. - Talk about how gambling debt was repaid- Everyone knows it's wrong to lie; we have been told about the consequences since we were young. However, all of us have tried honesty at some point or another. However, probably our approach should have been better because we misunderstood how to apply honesty. - The truth is honesty that when misused; honesty is often a veiled form of self- indulgence. This means that in a nutshell, when feelings build up, it’s frustrating to hold them in and keeping them to yourself. And, of course, it feels damn good to release them. That feel good sensation is a form of gratification. -It’s sad that our education at home and in school doesn’t include teaching us how to manage and handle our angry feelings in a safe and non-threatening manner. Since intimate relationships trigger negative feelings, this means most of us are mistreating the people we love most by lashing out and even verbally hurting those we love; all in the name of being honest.- Honesty isn’t a policy, it’s a value! Honesty needs to co-exist with other values. Values such as compassion, kindness, being positive, etc. It would definitely be honest of you to put down someone's lack of talent at something, for example your kid's drawing; but is it kind and helpful? How about being honest that your wife's put on some weight over the years and that she would look huge in that dress? Is it compassionate? Is your comment useful? - Honesty is a sought-after value, but so is common sense. And just like everything else, common sense needs to be applied when deciding when and where to be honest. Just like there are people who lie to advance their own agenda, so too are there people who apply honesty, truth, fairness, and equality on their terms. There's a right time for everything, so it is the same with honesty.- If there's a need to be honest, take some time off away to evaluate whether or not it'll be kind and useful for the other person. Do not be honest in anger and make sure that there are no unresolved issues that could feed the fire and trigger the honest outburst.- Also; honesty needs to go hand-in-hand with communication. You need to build up the relationship, then apply honesty as a value you use to express your thoughts but not at the expense of the other person's feelings. 

Happiness, Overrated or just misunderstood? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-judith-rich/happiness-its-overrated_b_685851.html - The world puts alot of emphasis on living a "happy" life. There is a huge industry towards "finding happiness" that proposes that if you don’t have ongoing happiness then you need to pursue it. You need to find your purpose, change your job, get a new partner, move locations—do something, anything, to find the happiness that you are missing. - A never-ending happy life is unattainable because it doesn't exist. Happiness is a state of mind that doesn't stay constant. It is an enigma. It means different things to different people. We cannot achieve a state of happiness without understanding what it looks like. - Ironically, it is in the heaviest and most ardent pursuit of happiness that we become depressed and disappointed. Which kind of makes the pursuit of it counter-productive. But why are so many people still so insistent on finding "it"?- It is therefore, in the heaviest pursuit of happiness, that you turn this into a self-fulfilling prophecy. That when you identify with not having enough, you reinforce and create the very unhappiness and/or emptiness that you want to fill up. Thus, creating your unhappiness dillema.- To seek happiness as a permanent state derives from two primitive evolutionary impulses: avoiding pain; which is part of the need to avoid harm and eventually death; and seeking gratification as well as to leave a legacy."The brighter the light, the darker the shadow" - Carl Jung- The height of personal happiness can only be measured by the depth of personal sadness.Happiness is not a stand-alone feeling. Happiness is a comparative emotion. - Happiness is elusive, like some rare and captivating insect that lights up when it lands on your shoulder. It’s there for a moment and then gone. - Instead, refuse to give into the feelings of emptiness and not being good enough. You are who you are, no one else can be you. So embrace yourself instead; and embrace your life. Make the most of the fleeting experience of the roller coaster of life; treasure all the feelings and experiences that only living your life can offer.- The Stockdale Paradox talks about James Stockdale and his words- Let go of the pursuit of happiness. It’s wasting your time and will disappoint you in the end. Express your full range of emotions that you will go through in life. 

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License Reference reading: https://hbr.org/2012/09/ten-reasons-people-resist-chang - People generally don't like changes. We all start off at the bottom when we're young, working hard to reach our goals and then; once we're somewhere "remotely" comfortable, we form patterns, get settled in and move into hibernation. And once we've hibernated, god forbid something changes it for us. - After all, as a human; we are by nature lazy. That doesn't mean we don't work hard. We're more than capable of doing that. And we're even willing to grind ourselves into the ground in order to achieve our goals. But, and here's the thing; we believe that the more we progress, the less "real" effort we need to invest.- We're also very prone to extremes, so this means we can be extremely hardworking and/or extremely lazy. With technology, you can even be both! - What does this mean though? That our goals tend to be short-sighted and self-gratifying. Earn x amount of $$$ by the age of y. Pay off my house by the age of x. etc. And any deviations to this would result in a reaction from ourselves.- People talk about growing old gracefully; and there is a reason for this. From a life of action and being able to challenge the world, people have to take a step back; and being able to let go of things. - So, right off the bat; changes will always be there, and we will never be able to avoid it completely. If you're lucky; you'll be able to postpone it, but just like a long-overdue house cleaning; it'll come back with double the interest. - Therefore, similarly to embracing our challenges, we need to learn to embrace change.- Talk about 2nd suicide and how it was due to change and not being able to cope that triggered it.- 2 important ingredients to help you cope with changes, Perspective. Because looking at it from a negative viewpoint will only be self-defeating and pointless. "Be the change that you wish to see"- The 2nd is optimism and hope, rooted in realism. Do your best and as much as you can, but once done; let it go and expect and plan for the worst. Some may counter that you should aim for the stars and you'll get skies/clouds. I say, why even aim at all? Aiming sets expectations; which breeds disappointment and bitterness WHEN (not if) reality kicks in and you fail. - To that end, the best thing you can do to combat change is to change as well. Learn and try new things. Especially when things start to get stale and mundane. Sometimes a change of scenery too could help kickstart things as well.- Remember what we talked about failures, it's all about practise, practise and practise. What will be, will be.- After all, life is all about continuous learning, thus nothing is permanent so one should always stay humble and embrace the change.

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License - Starts off with a short story talking about 1st suicide and the logo of the podcast (wrist scar). In hindsight, the attempt itself draws laughter whenever I talk about it, and I embrace that; but at that time, both attempts were serious efforts at ending life.- As a two-time suicide survivor, the podcast aims to capture experiences and lessons from a well-lived life for my kids - as a form of an audio hand-me-down trove- In life, advise is like applying and matching differing colors/styles of clothings being worn because there is no one-size-fits-all rule to life. As such, while advise may sometimes border on the realm of hypocrisy by seemingly contradicting each other, it all really depends on the situation and one's perception of it. By the way, my wife disagrees about my taste in fashion.- After all, the more one learns; the more one realizes how little one knows about life. As Albert Einstein once said, "Once you stop learning, you start dying"

Oil unites us all, from bodybuilders to babies, from enemies to clowns. You thought oil was just for eating? Think again. Dragaloon best friend Iain is back, this time in studio, and he's hungry for chips... the oilier the better. We get oil insights from special guest Doug “DJ Douggpound” Lussenhop (of Tim and Eric, the Eric Andre Show, and Portlandia) and get personal about the different oil uses in all aspects of our lives. Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. Cohen Released under a Creative Commons Attribution International License https://andyg.co/hen/songs/blip See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.