Podcast appearances and mentions of tom gilovich

In this episode of The Founder's Sandbox, host Brenda McCabe sits down with behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business to explore the surprising power of human connection. Drawing on decades of research and his new book A Little More Social, Epley reveals why we consistently underestimate how positive social interactions can be—and how small choices, like expressing gratitude or starting a conversation, can significantly improve our well-being, relationships, and workplace culture. Together, they discuss the science behind social connection, the hidden barriers that hold us back, and practical ways leaders and professionals can build more resilient, purpose-driven organizations through simple, intentional human interactions. You can find out more about Nicholas and his book at: about Nicholas Epley Accolades Nicholas Epley Book him for for speaking events at: https://www.wsb.com/speakers/nicholas-epley/ or pre order his new Book out May 19, 2026: A Little More Social Here: Amazon, Bookshop) You can also find his book Mindwise here: Amazon, Bookshop transcript: 00:04 Welcome back to the Founders Sandbox. I am Brenda McCabe, your host. Now in the fourth season, my mission with this podcast is really to bring in company owners, founders, 00:31 professionals, board directors that like me share a common mission, which is making change in the world through enterprises, small, medium or large. em And each of my guests um have em in their own ways built resilient, scalable, well-governed businesses um to really make that change. And I'm absolutely delighted to have Professor Epley, Nicholas Epley, 01:01 from the University of Chicago as my guest for this month. um Welcome to the Founder's Sandbox. Thank you, Brenda. This is a delight for me to have a former student back with me in conversation. I love it. It's amazing. I've been pursuing you for at least two years, and I kept getting delayed because of his writing a book. And today we're going to talk about um his new book that will be launching on May 19th, A Little More Social. 01:31 So before we get into the material, I need to make a proper introduction as I do to all my guests, all right? So um Nicholas Eppoli, he is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is an author. We'll get into some of his work today. And he has many other accolades. 01:59 that are just too many to go through here because we'll eat into valuable time. And he has back to back podcast to announce his new book. I do want to call out one accolade. You were named by Ethicast, I guess, a business leader in ethics back in 2018. And business ethics, as we all know, corporate governance is very near and dear to my heart. So those accolades will be in the show notes. 02:29 em Dr. Epley, or Professor Epley as I'll call you, right? You study social cognition, how thinking people think about other thinking people to understand why smart people so routinely misunderstand each other. He teaches an ethics and happiness course to MBA students called Designing a Good Life. I was a... 02:56 an alumnus. I took your course back, think in 2017, 2018. So you're going to be forever a professor to me. All right. So I often speak of your class designing a good life and the pro-social exercises and other stats and experiments that now that you have this book out, I realized you were using the classrooms. Yes, I was. Yeah, I was doing a lot of the experiments in the class. I mean, the best way to teach 03:25 people something is not to tell them the thing, but to show them the thing. And so I could tell you that reaching out and expressing gratitude makes you feel better, makes other people feel better than you think, but more powerful is actually have you do it. Right. So we're going to talk about the book. And I think it's in chapter seven that you talk specifically about how gratitude is such a powerful mechanism. um Again, my guest here, I like to uh 03:56 kind of identify resiliency, purpose driven or scalable. m I think that what you teach and what we're gonna hear about here for my listeners is an example of resiliency practices. And I believe it's very much key in bringing it back to my listeners, Professor Upley is I work with a lot of company owners, business leaders who I think would benefit from learning some of these practices outside of the classroom today. anyway. 04:23 I took your class back in, I think, in 2017, pre-pandemic and in person. And my life has uh really been impacted in an incredibly positive way. I bring it into my personal life, some of these experiments that you're going to share with my listeners, as well as the classroom, where I do teach business ethics. And I have them um do a personal responsibility statement uh at the end of their. 04:51 their semester with me. That is awesome. So again, accolades. Thank you to you. So with my guests, I want you to make a little introduction and share your origin story. Why did you choose to become what's called a behavioral scientist? I won't make it too long. I do remember I got to college. I wanted to be a football player, college football player, small college division three. 05:20 at St. Olaf. I went to St. Olaf because I liked the football coach. I thought I was going to be a biologist. I took those classes. They were totally boring, but I took an intro psychology class, which was all self paced. It was supposed to take a semester to do. I was done with it about a third of the way through the semester. I just ate it all up. I went through it like wildfire, which I took as an indication that this is something I might be interested in. 05:51 I started reaching out to faculty, started doing research. And one day my senior year, early my senior year in college, my em undergraduate advisor grabbed a book down from the shelf and handed it to me and said, I think you might find this to be interesting. It was Tom Gilovich's book, How We Know What Isn't So. And the book describes how the psychological processes that give us beliefs and expectations and opinions about the world, thoughts about other people. 06:20 can often lead us astray, give us perceptions and beliefs that differ from the way the world actually is. And I found the work so fascinating. I read that book in a day. I took it and I went right through it. And I thought, that is the thing I wanna do. I wanna do research like that. I couldn't think of anything else more interesting to do than that. So I applied to a PhD program to Cornell University, which is where Tom is on the faculty. I applied to a bunch of others too. 06:49 em I was fortunate enough uh that I was waitlisted at Cornell, somebody declined their offer, and I got in as a PhD student. And the rest then is kind of one lucky break after another, after another, after another, after another, things working out well. And me just following things that seemed interesting at the time. em I was lucky to have Tom as a PhD advisor. 07:16 We started working on really interesting things. My first year there, turns out we underestimate how positively others judge us when we do something that we're kind of embarrassed about. Other people cut us a lot more slack than we think. And that interest in understanding, and in particular, understanding how well we understand the minds of others was something we were working on right away. And that interest... 07:44 just as grown and grown and grown and grown and grown. I've stopped thinking about other things. It's the only thing I kind of can think about. And the mistakes we make about the minds of other people are all around us and problematic. And so that's how I got here. Thank you for sharing that. um And specifically at this time in 2026, uh 08:11 So how does the mind of a behavioral scientist work? What experiments do you whip up to test some of the hypotheses? All right. for your first book, right, there was some, right. And the preface of your second book, you said, that morning I decided to test a different approach. As a psychologist, I try to understand human behavior using experiments. 08:34 But this time I decided to put myself into an experiment instead of ignoring the person who just sat down next to me, I would try to connect. So how does work? So one, I think the important thing about being a researcher, we're all researchers out there in the world in our own ways, right? So founders are starting companies and they're doing research constantly about what works and what doesn't. 08:59 As a scientist, we get to run experiments that sometimes have a little more control over them than what you have out there in the world. But the thing that is common to both the scientist and the founder or to almost anyone out there in the world is that you ask why questions. And so as a scientist, it's not so much the experiments we conduct that are critical, although those are critical. The critical thing is that you... 09:28 We look at the world in a slightly different way than others might and therefore notice things that other people might not notice. And that's where our hypotheses, our ideas come from. So one morning on the train, for instance, I was coming in to the University of Chicago where you know all too well where I work uh and I live on the far South side. And I was writing a chapter for MindWise, which was my first book describing how we have this mind uniquely equipped for brain uniquely equipped for connecting with the minds of others. 09:58 And I was describing how we often and why we misunderstand each other. And I was writing one of those chapters describing how we've got this brain uniquely equipped for connecting with others, made happier and healthier by connecting with others. And yet I was sitting on the train and I had this kind of eureka moment. Here we all were, and I've been doing this for years by now. Here we all were sitting on this train, highly social animals, made happier and healthier connecting with each other. And we were all ignoring each other. We're not connecting at all, treating the person next to us. 10:27 Like a lamp shade, right? And that was where I thought that seems weird. Does this make sense that we do this? Social connection is a choice. It's a decision about whether we reach out and engage with somebody or hold back. And that was the thing that I noticed. That was the perspective that other people might not have is that that's a choice and understanding that our perceptions are sometimes wrong or miscalibrated. 10:55 suggests that sometimes we can make those choices wrong, make them incorrectly or unwise. And so that morning I decided to enroll myself in an experiment. I had a woman come sit down next to me. I was probably at this time, I'm 51 right now, I was probably in my mid 30s, 35 or something like that at the time. This woman, she's probably 55 or so, African-American woman, uh clearly dressed for work, uh really looking sharp, had this beautiful red hat on. 11:24 almost like a bonnet, had this big wide brim. It was beautiful. uh And I decided that morning to put myself in an experiment. What would happen if I actually engaged in conversation and to really pay attention to what happened, right? Because that's another thing we do as researchers is we measure things closely. We pay close attention in our measurement. So I just started having conversation. I opened up with a pretty weak joke. uh I said, I love your hat. I have one just like it, right? 11:54 Yeah, not in the conversation hall of fame there, right? uh But she turned to me and she just like lit up. I remember so distinctly the reaction was like she'd almost looked like a different person. Her face, the face that we carry around with us, the dead face, right? Our resting Grinch face is kind of Grinchy, right? But as soon as you engage with somebody, you perk up, your face smiles, your eyes lighten, you look. 12:23 almost like a different person. So she turned to me lit up and uh the conversation then just flowed pretty easily. We had a nice conversation, half hour, time went really fast. As I got up to leave, I remember she held my wrist uh as I was getting up just to express some sincerity and she said, thank you so much for talking with me today. It wasn't just like, hey, that was lovely. We really meant it, like it was nice. 12:52 And the thing that I remember so clearly is that it wasn't just nice, it was surprisingly nice. That surprisingly part is critical because there was a gap between how I believed the conversation might turn out. I a nervous, what do I have in common with this person? I don't know. Will it go well? Do they really want to talk to me? Probably not. Will she misunderstand while I'm talking to her? Maybe. 13:17 You know, mistakenly think I'm hitting on her or something or make her feel uncomfortable instead of just having a nice conversation between two human beings. So all that stuff was going through my head, but it was misplaced. It was wrong. And so the conversation wasn't just positive. It was surprisingly positive. And that insight that social connection is a choice and that our choices could be wrong led me to run a bunch of experiments to test whether this is just something unique. 13:45 to me as a kind of weirdo or whether this is something we might see a little more widely. And so we started running experiments on the train that I ride. We recruited people for an experiment. We randomly assigned them to do one of three things, to either try to have a conversation with a person who sits down next to them that morning, so this is the connection condition, to... 14:11 keep to themselves that morning and just enjoy their solitude or to do whatever they normally do. 14:17 At the end of the survey, they reported how the conversation actually made them feel, how positive it made them feel on a couple of different measures. And then we asked another group, we asked them to predict how they would feel if they were actually in that situation. To report their beliefs, their expectations about how they would feel. Because that's what actually drives your behavior. It's not how you actually feel. You don't know how you're gonna feel. You're projecting, right? Yes. It's not gonna happen, yeah. Exactly. So you sit down and you think, well. 14:45 what would happen if I did this? Those are your expectations. And people's behavior is driven by their expectations. And what people expected was that they would have a more positive commute if they kept to themselves than if they had a conversation with somebody, which is what people are doing, right? So they're behaving rationally in line with their expectations. But when we actually had people do these things and report how they actually felt at the end, it was those in the connection condition. 15:12 that actually had the more positive commute and those in the solitude condition who kept it themselves had the least positive commute. People's expectations weren't just wrong, they were precisely backwards. They thought that keeping it in themselves would make them happier. In fact, connecting with somebody else is what would make them happier. And that was just the tip of a very big iceberg. For the last decade and a half, it just, we've been seeing these things all over the place. I'm like a guy with a hammer who sees nothing but nails. 15:41 I can find these phenomena all over the place now. So it's nearly two decades of research. That first experiment, you speak to it in the second book. don't know whether you also put it into the first book. It is wise to understand what others think, believe, feel and want, which is your first book. um So two decades later and pushing your five years of writing and you were avoiding. 16:09 being a guest on my podcast and that rightly so. Yes, took a long time. But as then. of 2026, your book, A Little More Social is being released. And we'll have how to get that book in the show notes as well after this podcast goes live. So what I wanted to do is really ask you what made you want to release it now in 2026, right? And 16:39 Again, I was able to get a pre-read of some of the material and uh while not stealing your thunder, what I was, I like how you've set the sections or the why questions. So back to the empirical, right? Research you do as a social scientist. Why, why not? What if, what now are the four sections of the book? But I will tell you this, I read the prologue and when I started reading chapter one, I was depressed. It was really hard to go on. 17:08 So I'm warning, just so with that, I'm not gonna give the spoiler alert. What made you want to publish this year finally after two decades and right? So I will say that I think the message of the book is fundamentally empowering, not depressing. It was just first chapter. I was like, wow. Just the first chapter maybe about the importance of social connection and how we're not choosing it. But once you see that, 17:38 Once you see that your beliefs about other people might be off a little bit, it's an invitation to test those. And to see places where you and your life are holding yourself back, not because social connection is unpleasant or you're not good at it, but because you're not even trying and finding out that you could be wrong. And once you start to see that the bars in front of you that are holding you back from reaching out and engaging with others, 18:05 having stronger relationships, communicating more clearly, having more joy and enjoyment in your life and making people around you better. Once you start seeing that those bars that are holding you back sometimes, making you overly fearful about engaging are actually made out of pasta noodles, it's easy to break through them. It is empowering. The people I talk to a lot in this book who spend a lot of time talking to other people, almost all describe themselves as having a superpower that other people don't have. 18:35 They're not afraid of engaging. And hence they don't hold themselves back from opportunities that they could have in the better life that tends to follow when we're connected well with other people. As to why 2026, I wish I could say it was something like market timing. I was getting exactly right. The world is a disaster, is a dumpster fire at the moment. are uh going deeper, deeper into loneliness in our lives. The world's a mess. 19:03 hostile and violent and unfriendly and we're trying to pull back from this. I wish I could say it was market timing. uh It wasn't market timing exactly. It was more, uh I don't know what the right word for it is in the innovator world, but I didn't have the product until today. Right. Or serendipitous as well. Serendipitous. Yes, serendipitous. I do think there's a timeless element to this too, which is, it is always the case, I think. 19:32 I don't think these phenomena are totally new. There are new elements to them, but there are times where we can always make our relationships a little bit better. But yes, right now there is some serendipity, I think. We could really use it right now. I agree. Tell me how it is to make a choice. So we all are different human beings, right? Talk about human beings. 20:01 condition, right? We're very social and some of us are more introverted than extroverted. how, and with your book, how can we be more empowered to make that choice? So I think the important insight from behavioral science here is that social connection and therefore the happiness and wellbeing and relationships that follow from that is to some extent a choice that we make. All social interactions that we have a choice over 20:29 you get to a point where you have to decide, I refer to it as the choice, because I think it is arguably the most important choice we make over and over and over and over again, which is, do I reach out and engage with you or do I hold back? And that choice, the choice shows up in lots of different forms. Do I talk with a stranger? Do I type to you or pick up the phone and talk to you? Do I... 20:56 ask deep and meaningful questions or do I hold back? Do I share this compliment or this feeling of gratitude or request for help or honest piece of advice for you, honest feedback? Do I share those things or do I hold them back? So the choice masquerades in lots and lots of different ways, but at its core is this conflict between approaching, wanting to engage and fear or avoidance, being nervous about it, right? And when both of those things are strong, we get 21:26 approach avoidance conflicts where we'd like to do this thing, but we're nervous. I'd like to go up and talk to that other CEO I'd like to meet, but maybe they don't want to talk to me. That's approach avoidance conflict. What we find in our work is that, well, other researchers have found that these two systems in our brain are independent of each other. That's approach and avoidance. Approach and avoidance. Yeah. The factors that govern approach, the system that governs approach in our brain is different from the system that governs avoidance. Okay. 21:55 That's how you can get both of them being very strong at the same time. They're not dynamic with each other. They can operate independently. And when you don't have any interest to approach or any interest to avoid, then you're indifferent, right? But the opposite of that is approach avoidance. And um people do vary a little bit in the strength of these two motives, uh in what guides their choice. 22:21 Extroverts tend, for instance, to have a little bit stronger approach orientation or rather a little less of the avoidance orientation. But I think the important insight is that what extroversion and introversion is really about is how you make the choice. And this is something that people, think, routinely misunderstand about what personality actually is, or at least the way we measure it as psychologists. I think that's the important thing, the way we often measure it as psychologists. 22:49 It's not describing the type of person you are. It is describing the type of choices that you make. So for instance, people might often think that introverts and extroverts, actually enjoy different things. That extroverts like talking to people, whereas introverts like talking to people less. That turns out not to be quite right. When you put people in experiments and you actually have them talk, introverts and extroverts both enjoy talking to people, right? 23:17 They both get tired talking to people later, but they're energized during it. They both actually feel more authentic when they're talking to someone and engaging in social interaction than when they're not. What differs between the two is how they make the choice and therefore what they think they will like or enjoy and therefore the habits they create and what they do. And that I think- that's kind of a revelation. uh 23:47 But psychologists have been discovering this for decades. So you go back to 1980 was the first published paper testing whether happiness or wellbeing was related to personality. Now in theory, you wouldn't expect it to be, right? Actroverts like talking to people. Proverts like uh reading books and keeping to themselves, more quiet time, Enjoying more solitude. Great, there should be no differences in happiness. We get what we want out of life. 24:16 That turns out not to be true. Extroverts tend to feel more positive, have more positive affect, more happiness in their lives than introverts full stop. And it is not a small effect, it is a huge effect. The correlation between extroversion and positive affect, essentially happiness in your life, positive mood in your life, is around 0.5, which is as big as the correlation between the heights of fathers and their sons. It's huge. It's huge, right? And so... 24:43 Psychologists learn then over time that that comes in part because extroverts tend to choose to act a little more extroverted. If you ask people to act more extroverted, everybody tends to get a little happier, uh introverts and extroverts alike. If you ask people to act more introverted, people tend to get a little less happy, introverts and extroverts alike. So I think that's a really important insight that introversion and extroversion is really about choices and habits. 25:12 more than actual experience. You know, m I extroverts to choose to do it more often. Is it a? Is it oh a game of numbers? Is it like betting? Is it just showing up for yourself more frequently? Independent of being an extrovert or introvert where I'm going is how can we apply this in the workforce with our workmates and things? Right? Is it just, you know, just choosing independent of what the outcome may be? 25:42 more often. So our data suggests that our assessment of the odds and all of life is kind of a gamble. Our choices are gambles on the future based on what we think is going to be relatively positive or not, what's going to be relatively rewarding or not. And our data suggests that we get the odds a little wrong. Extroverts and introverts both do. And actually, I don't want to focus too much on that because it's a much weaker, it's a much weaker phenomena than we actually 26:12 You might imagine that it is. People tend to think on average they're more introverted actually than they really are em because extroversion is public but introversion is private. So we all know our own private introverted side. It makes us feel unique, more unique than we actually are. But I think our data suggests not that you go out and you talk to people all the time or you share every detail about yourself. It suggests we get the odds a little bit off. 26:40 It suggests when it's easy, when it's possible to connect or to engage or when you have a thought that you could share that you think might turn, you know, be positive. If you recognize that that avoidance motivation is a little too strong. 26:55 Recognize you have to dial that back that your first thought might be overly avoidant your second thought a lot of times might suggest No, I'll give this a try. I'll give it a try. I'll give it try. I like that. Somebody said me lose right? So with that why not right part two of your book? Do you want to talk about a little bit about? The the how well you've talked about the have connection, but hello stranger, you know really just making it happen. I 27:23 I don't know whether you can make an inference into the workplace. I would like you to do that for me. Yeah. Yeah. Because we are human beings and whether we work in hybrid, we're totally remote, or we are working back in the office, we get things done through interactions with our colleagues. And so how might your work and a little more social uh make our, uh I guess, our interactions 27:53 more empowering uh and just overall lifting up. I think our data suggests that you can look for times in your life where there's kind of dead space or kind of gray space. Time where you could engage or connect with someone but are choosing not to in ways that wouldn't take you away from something. That's a place to start. Like I'm on the train in the morning coming in. 28:18 I'm just sitting there. Usually I'm not doing squat anyway. I'm scrolling my phone or reading the news. I think it's really important, but come on. Sometimes we do things, but often we're not. And that's a place that's easy for me. Like I did this morning, I had a conversation with Brenda on my train. um Brenda I've known for a while. I don't see her that often, but this morning she was on the train and we had a lovely 30 minute conversation. She gave me a hug at the end and she said I was really what she needed today. 28:48 Oh, right. And that's amazing. Yeah, she's a lovely human being. She's a great name. Yeah, she's great. But I don't see her a lot. Maybe a few times a year we'll be on the same train. But every time I see her, I know her. I remember I wrote her name down and I can have that conversation. It's easy. But that's something where I wouldn't have been. 29:13 social otherwise, it's easy to do. And if I know it's gonna be more positive than I think, then I would choose to do that than something else. When I get to my office here at the Harper Center here at Booth, I walk into the door on the way in and I got maybe a 250 yard walk up to my office here on the fourth floor. And I've started making it a habit that I take a hello walk when I come in. When I walk by people, I don't just sit there and just walk to my office. 29:42 I greet people when I'm going by. So I say hi to Nigel who's sitting there at the same table every day this winter quarter uh down uh in the winter garden here at the University of Chicago. I say hi to Keith and Mario and Linda on my way to the elevator often who are down there. These are often our staff people or uh other folks around in the business school. When I get up the elevator onto my floor, I walk past uh Jane's office and Eric's office. 30:11 uh Emma's office, Virginia's office on my way. And I say hi to people, right? Hi, Eric. Hi, Jane. Hi, Emma. Morning, Virginia, when I go by. Now, it's not taking me a lot of time, right? It's not slowing me up from anything. It's not really interrupting them too much. They're just getting started with their day. But it makes that moment brighter, right? It makes that walk better. Virginia came by my office the other day. I've gotten to know her. She's one of our new junior faculty. She came by my office. uh 30:40 to talk about the book that I've been working on to talk through it, because she found that interesting, she's an economist. I don't think she'd have done that before if I hadn't said hi. It's been nice. So, you know. So there's small, little initiatives, you just have to make the choice. They don't have to be massive things. There are many opportunities that are easy, seem small to us, they end up being, I think, 31:09 much, much bigger than we imagine them to be. And we just choose not to take them. And that seems like a tragedy. And once you start looking for these moments, these opportunities, you walk to get coffee at the office or something. Take a friend with you. Ask a colleague to walk with you. Ideas come out of those. Connections come out of those. Well, being comes out of those. You never know where it's going to go. Can you, for my listeners, discuss or share the experiment and how 31:38 people underestimate how much they'll enjoy talking to strangers or the letters of gratitude. It's your choice, you can do both. I mean, can share my own personal, know, living that. um It remains with me. I would love that. You do that. That would be great. know, the enjoying talking to strangers is uh during the last week of the course of designing, right? 32:06 a good life, we literally had to, um I think we had to report back and we had to do a kind act towards somebody that we didn't even know. Right? Yeah. Yeah. We were randomly assigned or we, right. I think you were, right. In that case, I asked you to go on and a random act of kindness for somebody. Exactly. An act of kindness. And it was amazing that then the person reacted. so it was a very, it was aha moment. Again, I'm 32:36 This was seven years ago, eight years ago. So I'm drawing a blank, but I just recall it was an amazing experience. we all kind of got to know each other's names. We were like 80 students in the classroom at that time. Another thing that I do recall with fondness is writing a thank you letter, graduate letter. you gave us the op, it was prior to getting to campus, we were to write a letter. 33:03 we could actually share with you who we writing that to. And that person had the opportunity to share with you what they felt or not. So it was kind of blind. And I did go ahead and write a thank you letter to a color out Betsy Berkamer. She's also been in my podcast, influential person in my life. uh And uh lo and behold, she wrote to you and as did other people that were recipients of a thank you letter that was two paragraphs. It made their day. 33:32 But the questions you ask, how did, you you had to get the guts up to write that letter, right? Because you had to really be touchy-feely and share a specific event for which you felt gratitude. So, yeah. So that's an, so these, the, the choice to reach out and engage with other people or hold back crops up in lots of places. So one of the things we know as psychologists is if you want to have a good day, one thing to do is to think about somebody else who you really appreciate and feel grateful to and make their day. 34:02 by writing a note to them and explaining why you feel grateful to them. What's interesting- that here on the podcast on the Founder's Standby. So this is major. Say that again. If you wanna have a good day, reach out to somebody else and make them have a good day by explaining why you're grateful to them. What's interesting though is if you ask people, can you think about somebody you feel grateful to, but who for whatever reason you haven't reached out to express this? Almost everybody can right away think, oh yeah, I can think of somebody. Why do those people exist? 34:32 Why haven't you told them? There are lots of reasons why, but one is often, it's gonna be weird. Is this the right time? What am I gonna say? Can I really put into words? All of these steel bars in front of us that we think are so powerful, but they turn out to be pasta noodles when you actually sit down to write them. So what I have you do in my class towards the end is I have you think about this person, sit down, write a note to them. 34:59 anticipate how they're gonna feel, right? If you think that they're not gonna, you you underestimate how positive it's gonna be for them, or you overestimate how awkward or weird it's gonna be, right? That creates friction. That's a barrier to reaching out and engaging them. That's your avoidance voice shouting a little too loudly in your ear, that cringe voice, that you shouldn't do this. And we can find out whether that's calibrated. So I had you predict how the recipient would feel, how- um 35:28 the extent to which they'd be surprised to learn what you're grateful for, extent to which they'd be surprised to receive how positive or negative they would feel and also how awkward they would feel. I then, if you were willing to share with me the recipient's email address, I reached out and said, well, student of my class, um sent you a gratitude note as part of a class exercise. uh They thought of you for this. And I would love it if you could just tell me how that made you feel. Maybe terrible, maybe great. 35:58 but they go to the survey, they fill it out. And then we just compare those numbers essentially. And the students are not confused. You weren't confused that this would be positive. You thought it would be good. What was surprising or what's super robust is that it's even more positive than that. So Brenda, your little two paragraphs that seemed like nice, nice, but they were really, really nice to the person who received it. You thought they would be, uh 36:27 kind of powerful, they were really powerful. She probably printed that out. I had a student this year say in class that their recipient, who was a relative of theirs actually, their recipient asked, can I print it out and put it on the wall? Oh, that's amazing. Of course they do. Yes. It matters a lot. Surprisingly a lot. That's the important thing. Surprisingly a lot. 36:56 I could go on and on with more examples of the experiments that Professor Epley made us do in class that have marked uh my life. uh I use a lot of these things with my clients or even my students. And one of which is I do have the personal responsibility statement that we wrote at the end of our... uh 37:20 with you and it had to be short and sweet. You framed it, gave it to us. want it. If we ever want to change it, we had, you know, uh a beeline to you. You can send me a note. I'll change it for you. I'll send you new one for sure. And I framed it, framed it and printed out because otherwise you never would. Right. And then it's almost like it's an accountability manager. Right. We have Professor Epley who holds us accountable. Here, by the way, is mine. Yeah. You want to see mine? 37:48 I didn't know you were going to mention it, but yeah, here it is right here. Yeah, mine's here. And actually, because I asked my students, oops, I don't know whether you see it too well. There it is. Yeah. There it is. Signature, sorry. Sorry, because I have that screen. uh And yes, I even have some students that say, Professor McKay, but it's really hard for me to write mine when you share yours. of course, I'll share it. Yeah. 38:13 You may remember I put mine up in class. I showed you in the last class what mine was. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So yes, tell me. Yes. Go on. So the purpose of that is this is really about sustainability, I think, and resilience in organizations that the business case for ethics for being good out there isn't just that it feels good, sometimes even surprisingly good, which is really what's in the book and in a little more social. 38:43 which I describe in lots of different ways. But uh the business case for ethics is really one about resilience and sustainability. That you can be a schmuck for a little while and take money from people and succeed. You can lie and cheat and steal for a little bit. It's very hard to do that for a long time. Wow. People don't want to work with you. They don't want to work for you. uh They don't want to lend you money uh if they think you're uh unethical and shady. 39:13 And so for an organization, way to design one, for founders, the way to design one that is resilient and sustainable is to make sure that your values, your mission is front and center in front of everything that you do. so identifying a powerful, identifying an actionable mission statement, like your personal responsibility statement, this is at the organizational level, is a critical first step because everything else can be woven out of that. 39:43 Those ethics have to be kept top of mind all the time, woven into how you hire people and fire people and promote people and evaluate people and what you talk about day to day and what your norms are in the organizations, what activities you do, how you financially compensate people, what kinds of non-financial incentives you have in your organization. All those need to be tied to the mission statement and to the values that those suggest so that they're kept top of mind when you're out there in the world. So they become more of your first thought. 40:13 rather than needing to be your second thought. And the personal responsibility statement functions at an individual level that way. uh It prompts you to think about what is the thing you wanna have top of mind guiding you when you're out there in the world. So mine is to teach and research so that people are inspired to make wiser decisions and live better lives. Okay, that's what I focus on. 40:39 m Mine is always be original creative, loving, giving back, thankful, spontaneous, daring yourself while being content with enough. And my podcast is actually one of those creative outlets for me. now into my fourth season, it's been amazing. You know what I like with, you know what I didn't see, m wouldn't have seen when you wrote that, but do now is the last part being satisfied with enough. That's an important bit of self. 41:06 compassion there to recognize we do what we can do, nothing more, nothing less. And we give it all we got and that is enough. So the idea is that just like with a mission statement, if you can keep that top of mind guiding your behavior, you'll be a better organization if you design that well. Same thing is true for individuals. Well, before we go to my last three questions, which is really uh the essence of what I do with... uh 41:34 Next Act Advisors, my consulting firm around resilience, purpose, and scalable. I really wanted to give you an opportunity to let my listeners know how to connect with you. It will be in the show notes. And specifically, you do speaking, you're a keynote speaker and you can be hired in different, so can you? 41:58 share a little bit of how we can connect with you and to what do you typically like to speak about when you are um hired as a speaker? Yeah, so I do a lot of uh public speaking, which I think of as just another avenue for teaching about our research, which I think is meaningful for people and can be very powerful. The speaking agency that I use is WSB. They're in Washington, DC. They're fabulous people. And I can talk about 42:28 A few things I can talk about why we misunderstand each other and how to help people understand each other better, which is really about management and leadership, all of those essential skills. And then the work that I'm doing now about human sociality is really a lot about organizational culture, uh happiness and learning. But a lot of it's about organizational culture, I think of it as. And how we uh might act in ways 42:56 uh that don't optimize our culture in ways that make it sustainable or keep us resilient or keep us happy and motivated in organization or learning as much as we could. The individual stuff people also take out of this as well. The book is really written at the individual level for you to think about yourself and your own life and why we might just like we don't act maybe exercise as much as we ought to, why you might not be as social as you could. Thankfully, exercising sucks, it's unpleasant. So we all know that. 43:26 That's hard. reaching out and connecting with other people. know. I know. Thank you. But reaching out and connecting with other people is positive. know, like, you know, it's surprisingly positive. So that's an easy habit. That's an easy habit to make. So I talk a lot about how, you know, where these barriers come from and what you can do in my presentations, what you can do to turn these into habits to make your life consistently better, resiliently. 43:54 And then for connecting with me, do use LinkedIn. I don't use a lot of social media because it makes me miserable. But I do, I have been having fun a little bit recently using LinkedIn. So that's a way, but you can also email me. That's probably the easiest way. All right. So all of this will be in the show notes and, and your book, a little more social will be released on May 19th. There'll be a launch party. I believe it's, it's available on Amazon and bookshop. 44:23 and you have your own website. again, this will be provided in the show notes. Well, I like to do around the Robin lightning question, so my guests, all of my guests get to answer three questions. I'm passionate about resilience, purpose, and scalable or sustainable. And so I'd like to ask you, Professor Apley, what does resilience mean to you? It means being able to accept the negative things that happen in our life by 44:51 but by continuing to carry on with it. So one habit that I've picked up, I don't remember that I actually did it deliberately. I sign off all of my emails, typically, not always, but usually, and I type these out. This isn't like a form with onward. um And it's kind of a mantra I keep in my mind. uh Research is hard. There's a lot of failure. There's a lot of frustration. 45:21 Writing papers is hard, getting published is hard, speaking is hard, teaching is hard. It's all hard stuff. I mean, we're all doing lots of hard things, but they're those hard things. And there are lots of setbacks. And in academia, it gets personal because the ideas are yours, just like founders, right? These ideas are your baby. They are precious to you. And when they don't work or when they're threatened, that is hard and it's threatening. But you can't get mired in that. It's easy to get stuck in that. And so I try to... 45:50 This is just a little thing I do to keep myself focused on, all right, what's next? Now what? Onward. We're gonna carry on with this. That's resilience to me. I love it. Thank you. Purpose. What does purpose mean to you? Yeah, purpose is more, I think, the long run drive. Like, why am I doing this? um What's the meaning of my work? Which is usually not something you see right in the work itself. It is above the work. It's bigger than the work. It's what's in your personal responsibility statement, right? 46:21 My research is really oriented towards trying to identify wisdom, right? That's understanding. That's what all scientists try to do. We try to understand. I don't try to advocate. I don't tell you what to do. I try to figure out what the facts are as best I can. And so that concept of wisdom, for me, that's my purpose. Just to try to figure out wisdom. That's the long run goal, the high level goal. I think that is essential for me. It's also, it is perfectly aligned with 46:50 what I'm trying to do as a researcher. Amazing. So my second to last question, scalable or sustainable? can be anything. So scalable I struggle with. As a behavioral scientist, that is hard. It's hard to take individual stuff and increase it at scale, in part because the things that you do to increase something at scale are not the things you do to make an individual life better. So at scale, 47:18 You typically don't target people's beliefs. You navigate around them in some way. So you don't tell people they ought to play more with their neighbors. You build a playground. So they're different approaches. uh So scalable, I struggle with a little bit. try to, in my research, because I'm understanding individual minds, that's where I focus. And so I make it purposefully personal, our researches. Sustainable, though, 47:47 I think our research is really all about in many ways is that at the end of the day, at the end of our experiments are questions, dependent variables. And those dependent variables are typically these days about wellbeing, some measure of wellbeing and happiness. And that is the thing that you need for sustainability to keep things going, right? To sustain yourself. 48:17 is some positive reward. That's what sustains action. m And that's what our work focuses on, think, sustainability in part because for understanding social misunderstanding, the social misunderstanding creates friction. It ruins relationships, causes ah conflict and hostility, which is not itself sustainable. We're trying to encourage some insight into what the opposite would look 48:48 Last question, Professor Epley, did you have fun in the sandbox today? It's very fun, It's great seeing you, Brenda. Makes me regret I didn't do it uh the other times you asked, but it is a lot of work to write a book. It is exhausting. it leads my students to, my PhD students and postdoc doing research with me to contemplate homicide if I don't get to their paper soon. So anyway. Well, with that. 49:17 I let's sign off. You did enjoy yourself to my listeners. If you like this episode with Professor Epley, Nicholas Epley, sign up for the monthly release where founders, business owners and professionals um share their own experiences on building scalable, resilient, purpose-driven organizations, profits for good, and making the world a better place. So thank you until next month.

Tom Gilovich finds it fun to study the whys and wherefores of how human beings make sense of the information delivered by the world around them. And why not, he explains to interviewer David Edmonds in this Social Science Bites podcast. "We're dynamic, very complicated creatures who do all sorts of things and sometimes make you go, 'Huh?' That's interesting." He adds, "At the same time, some of the things that people do have great consequences," which means understanding how understandings come about also has great import. "A lot of the research on judgment and decision making is that there's a schism between the rational choice and the psychologically compelling choice," Gilovich continues, "and that has provided fertile ground for psychologists like me to explore it: "OK, this is what the rational analysis suggests. Why don't we do that?" And there's often some interesting psychological answers to that. Doesn't make logical sense, but it makes lots of psychological sense." In that spirit, Edmonds and Gilovich, the Irene Blecker Rosenfeld Professor of Psychology in the Department of Psychology at Cornell University, run through what Edmonds calls "the greatest hits" of Gilovich's research findings. These include the "spotlight effect," which posits that individuals often assume others pay more attention to them than they are, and its cousin, "the illusion of transparency," in which people assume others recognize their feelings and emotions accurately. They also look at regret, bias blind spots, and why third-place finishers are happier than second-place ones. Gilovich is the co-director of the Cornell Center for Behavioral Economics and Decision Research. He's written or co-written several books, ranging from the academic (the textbook Social Psychology written with Dacher Keitner, Serena Chen and Richard Nisbett), titles that bridge academia and the general public (2002's The psychology of intuitive judgment: Heuristic and biases written alongside Dale Griffin and Daniel Kahneman), and books that bring psychological insights directly to the public (such as 1999's Why smart people make big money mistakes—and how to correct them: Lessons from the new science of behavioral economics with Gary Belsky and 2015's The wisest in the room: How you can benefit from social psychology's most powerful insights with Lee Ross).  

Join Angela and John Miles for a thought-provoking discussion about the challenges of pursuing one's passion amidst financial concerns and life commitments. Drawing on research by psychologist Tom Gilovich, the conversation highlights the common regret of not pursuing an ideal life and the importance of breaking free from a cycle of unfulfilling work. KEY TAKEAWAYS: Pursuing Your Dreams: A significant number of people regret not pursuing their ideal life, with 76% expressing that their biggest regrets are the "what ifs" and "should haves" rather than mistakes made Gradual Change: Transformations in life do not happen overnight. Just as burnout develops over time, so too does the journey toward fulfilling your passions Focus on One Area: Instead of trying to overhaul every aspect of your life simultaneously, concentrate on making micro-differences in one specific area Balance Between Grit and Letting Go: Achieving a balance between hard work and a sense of ease is crucial TIMESTAMPS AND KEY TOPICS: "It's not the mistakes that we make in life. It's the what ifs, it's the should haves." "I think the mistake that we make... is we try to start fixing all of them at the same time." "Being passion-struck is a continuous pursuit. It's not like you reach this destination and then you just stop." "To me, that's what being intentional is about. It's aligning your intentions with your actions and your long-term aspirations." VALUABLE RESOURCES Join The High Performance Health Community Click here for discounts on all the products I personally use and recommend A BIG thank you to our sponsors who make the show possible: Link to full episode https://lnk.to/EP319 Check out Defender Shield's products and save 10% with code ANGELA at http://defendershield.com/angela ABOUT THE HOST Angela Foster is an award winning Nutritionist, Health & Performance Coach, Speaker and Host of the High Performance Health podcast. A former Corporate lawyer turned industry leader in biohacking and health optimisation for women, Angela has been featured in various media including Huff Post, Runners world, The Health Optimisation Summit, BrainTap, The Women's Biohacking Conference, Livestrong & Natural Health Magazine. Angela is the creator of BioSyncing®️ a blueprint for ambitious entrepreneurial women to biohack their health so they can 10X how they show up in their business and their family without burning out. CONTACT DETAILS Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Disclaimer: The High Performance Health Podcast is for general information purposes only and do not constitute the practice of professional or coaching advice and no client relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast, or materials linked from this podcast is at the user's own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for medical or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should seek the assistance of their medical doctor or other health care professional for before taking any steps to implement any of the items discussed in this podcast. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Feel yourself become tongue-tied around others? Or worse yet, you simply avoid others because you are constantly worried about being judged?It's not logical and it doesn't make sense, but it can't be reasoned with. Social anxiety can be crippling, to the point where you don't even want to order food!How to understand your anxious brain's wiring, soothe it, and get around it.Social Skills for Overthinkers is about more than what to say and when to say it, it is about how to gain your freedom. This book takes a much more clinical route than any others of its kind. We gain an understanding of the issues that hold you back, how to overcome them, and an action plan for success in the future.You'll learn a multitude of tools to get you from "I'd rather not go" to "I can't wait to go!"Nick Trenton grew up in rural Illinois and is quite literally a farm boy. His best friend growing up was his trusty companion Leonard the dachshund. RIP Leonard. Eventually, he made it off the farm and obtained a BS in Economics, followed by an MA in Behavioral Psychology.Challenge your inner thought pattern and break free and empower yourself.- Putting a stop to the rumination cycle of doom; putting a fence around it- Why curiosity is one of your best weapons against overthinking- Your inner critic and why the grey area is the best area- How to role play for social success- Letting go of safety-seeking behaviors- The magic of improv statementswww.audible.com/pd/B0CS3XRFB8/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-382556&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_382556_pd_us#OvercomingGeneralization #Overthinker #OverthinkerSocialSkills #SocialSkills #SpotlightEffect #TomGilovich #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialSkillsfortheOverthinker #InsideTheOverthinker'sMind #BreakingFreeFromRuminationAndAnxietyOvercoming Generalization,Overthinker,Overthinker Social Skills,Social Skills,Spotlight Effect,Tom Gilovich,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Social Skills for the Overthinker,Inside The Overthinker's Mind, Breaking Free From Rumination And Anxiety

Feel yourself become tongue-tied around others? Or worse yet, you simply avoid others because you are constantly worried about being judged?It's not logical and it doesn't make sense, but it can't be reasoned with. Social anxiety can be crippling, to the point where you don't even want to order food!How to understand your anxious brain's wiring, soothe it, and get around it.Social Skills for Overthinkers is about more than what to say and when to say it, it is about how to gain your freedom. This book takes a much more clinical route than any others of its kind. We gain an understanding of the issues that hold you back, how to overcome them, and an action plan for success in the future.You'll learn a multitude of tools to get you from "I'd rather not go" to "I can't wait to go!"Nick Trenton grew up in rural Illinois and is quite literally a farm boy. His best friend growing up was his trusty companion Leonard the dachshund. RIP Leonard. Eventually, he made it off the farm and obtained a BS in Economics, followed by an MA in Behavioral Psychology.Challenge your inner thought pattern and break free and empower yourself.- Putting a stop to the rumination cycle of doom; putting a fence around it- Why curiosity is one of your best weapons against overthinking- Your inner critic and why the grey area is the best area- How to role play for social success- Letting go of safety-seeking behaviors- The magic of improv statementswww.audible.com/pd/B0CS3XRFB8/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-382556&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_382556_pd_us#OvercomingGeneralization #Overthinker #OverthinkerSocialSkills #SocialSkills #SpotlightEffect #TomGilovich #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialSkillsfortheOverthinker #InsideTheOverthinker'sMind #BreakingFreeFromRuminationAndAnxietyOvercoming Generalization,Overthinker,Overthinker Social Skills,Social Skills,Spotlight Effect,Tom Gilovich,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Social Skills for the Overthinker,Inside The Overthinker's Mind, Breaking Free From Rumination And Anxiety

One way or the other, there comes a moment when you need to cut the rope and take a step or a leap of faith. At the end of our lives, according to psychologist Tom Gilovich, 84% of our regrets will be the things we would have, could have, and should have done but did not do. It’s not the mistakes we made, as painful as that is. It’s the opportunities we miss. Yes, you will experience a few fails, a few falls. But cutting the rope is the way we cut the ribbon on our dreams. We aren’t called to play life safe, we are called to take risks!

One way or the other, there comes a moment when you need to cut the rope and take a step or a leap of faith. At the end of our lives, according to psychologist Tom Gilovich, 84% of our regrets will be the things we would have, could have, and should have done but did not do. It’s not the mistakes we made, as painful as that is. It’s the opportunities we miss. Yes, you will experience a few fails, a few falls. But cutting the rope is the way we cut the ribbon on our dreams. We aren’t called to play life safe, we are called to take risks!

Rachael and Lauren talk about the concept of taking "imperfect action" when following what fascinates them, and how this could lead to new insights and a higher tolerance for uncertainty. Plus, Rachael shares fun practices to turn off autopilot and find joy, even at the post office. Episode Link Mentions:Rachael's "Prioritize Play" Workshop: https://rachaelrenae.com/prioritizeplayJoin us for our FIRST Chaotic Creatives Meetup at Stadtgarten in Detroit: Sunday, June 30th / 12pm to 3pmThe Ideal Road Not Taken by Tom Gilovich: https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2018/05/woulda-coulda-shoulda-haunting-regret-failing-our-ideal-selves The transcript for this episode can be found here! Cover art designed and photographed by Kristle Marshall for Hom Sweet HomFollow the pod on Instagram @chaoticcreativespod and tag us in the projects you're working on while listening!Say hi or tell us a silly lil joke: chaoticcreativespodcast@gmail.comLauren's links:WebsiteInstagramOnline ClassesRachael's links:WebsiteInstagramPrioritize Play WorkshopStyle Course

This week we are joined by two experts on people's perceptions of the world and their influence on our actions. Laura has been an admirer, and drawn on the work of, Dr. Gilovich and Dr. Davidai for years, and during their conversation today, they generously indulge Laura as she asks them to apply their research and own personal practices to Laura's own work in trauma, vicarious trauma, overwhelm, and systematic oppression/structural supremacy. They cover everything from enduring regret to the headwinds/tailwinds asymmetry. With humor and candor, they relay their pioneering research in very accessible ways and leave the listener with a tremendous amount to think about and a number of concrete take-aways.To learn more about Future Tripping, Laura's work, and The Trauma Stewardship Institute, or to email a question you'd like Laura and her guests to respond to, please click here, or call 360-228-5804 anytime and leave us a voicemail.  And you can find us on Instagram here. 

Eric chats with Shai Davidai, Assistant Professor in the Management Division of Columbia Business School. His research examines people's everyday judgments of themselves, other people, and society as a whole. He studies perceptions of inequality and competitive, zero-sum beliefs about the world. Shai received his PhD from Cornell under Tom Gilovich's supervision. His work has been published in various top-tier journals.In this episode, Eric and Shai discuss how people pursue status. When do people seek status through dominant aggressive bullying and when do they receive it due to their competence and a good character? Shai's work reveals the role of zero-sum beliefs: people who believe one person's gain is another's loss choose more dominant strategies to gain status. Is this an adaptive response? Can such zero-sum perceptions be inaccurate and, even worse, self-fulfilling? What's the way out of competitive zero-sum cultures? Shai shares how he stays optimistic despite such depressing research interests, discusses being an international scholar living in the US, and gives advice to his younger grad student self. He finally poses a puzzle for the listener: would you rather be extremely smart or extremely kind?WE NOW HAVE A SUBSTACK! Stay up to date with the pod and become part of the ever-growing community :) https://stanfordpsypod.substack.com/If you found this episode interesting at all, consider leaving us a good rating! It just takes a second but will allow us to reach more people and make them excited about psychology.Links:Shai's paper: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2022-89563-001 Shai's website Eric's websiteEric's Twitter @EricNeumannPsyPodcast Twitter @StanfordPsyPodPodcast Substack https://stanfordpsypod.substack.com/Let us know what you think of this episode, or of the podcast! :) stanfordpsychpodcast@gmail.com

Is "the spectrum" a more helpful way to think about the world than "categories"? Tom Gilovich joins Igor and Charles to discuss the perils of black-and-white thinking, the evolving data on the hot hand phenomenon, the science of regret, why foxes are wiser than hedgehogs, and the freedom that comes from learning that we are of less interest to other people than we think. Igor considers the limits of psychological nudging in tackling society's structural problems, Tom shares the perspective that leads him to be so unrelentingly joyful, and Charles learns that even scientists have to work hard to avoid being typecast. Welcome to Episode 48. Special Guest: Tom Gilovich.

Tom Gilovich is an American psychologist who is the Irene Blecker Rosenfeld Professor of Psychology at Cornell University. He has conducted research in social psychology, decision making, behavioral economics. He is also the author of the book, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights. What you will learn in this episode:  The difference between wisdom and intelligence Why we misevaluate certain things Strategies and techniques to use to be the wisest person in the room How experiences have a different effect on us than purchasing material things --------------------- This episode is sponsored by Namely. Working in HR isn't for the faint of heart. But whether you have 50 or 1,000 employees, Namely is the HR solution that supports you and your employees. With onboarding, performance management, payroll, and intuitive benefits enrollment – all in one connected modern platform. Grow with Namely, and get one free month when you make the switch! Learn more by going to Namely.com/fow today. --------------------- The #1 challenge for organizations right now is how to attract and retain talent. Organizations are stuck in old ways of thinking about work and they are struggling! In my new PDF, I outline 7 ways the workforce is changing and what you and your organization need to do to adapt. The Great Resignation is The Great Opportunity if you are willing to take action! Click here to download the PDF. --------------------- Get the latest insights on the Future of Work, Leadership and employee experience through my daily newsletter at futureofworknewsletter.com  Let's connect on social! Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jacobmorgan8 Instagram: https://instagram.com/jacobmorgan8 Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jacobm Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FuturistJacob

Two significant, yet rarely discussed in the mainstream, psychological phenomena are heuristics and cognitive biases. Heuristics, also known as “mental shortcuts”, are used to help us make judgements and, thus, decisions without having to exhaust a lot of mental energy. These sets of simple and efficient rules are an evolutionary adaptation meant to help us; however, in certain situations these rules are erroneous, thereby creating cognitive biases. Cognitive biases are an individual's subjective construction of reality that influences the way they perceive and behave in the world. When cognitive biases can become harmful is when they lead to illogical interpretations and perceptual distortions of their immediate environment, leading to irrationality. We see this in a preference over one group versus another, towards people more like us, and in negotiations situations where “anchoring” is present, such as car leasing or purchasing. Cornell-based and Stanford-trained, Dr. Tom Gilovich has spent decades studying about what all of this means and why understanding heuristics and biases are so important to navigate the world more effectively. Listen to our conversation to hear his insights and more.

Eric chats with Tom Gilovich, Professor of Psychology at Cornell University. Tom's Judgment and Belief Lab studies how people evaluate the evidence of their everyday experience to make judgments, form beliefs, and decide on courses of action. Why do people make seemingly wrong decisions? When do they misread evidence? Tom's research has been widely cited around the world, and he is the author of multiple books, including The Wisest One in the Room, co-authored with Lee Ross. In this episode, Tom discusses his recent work on how people judge groups differently than individuals. For example, people want individuals to have longer streaks of success than groups. Or people are more tolerant of inequality when discussing a society of unequal individuals than a society of unequal groups. Finally, Tom talks about what he has learned, and how he has changed as a person, in collaborating with the late Lee Ross.Paper on success: https://doi.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fpspa0000256Paper on inequality: https://www.pnas.org/content/118/43/e2100430118.short?casa_token=wSjK0R2n13wAAAAA:9zywS6bQuU7BsBWLhDNfBXa_dIyI__tQPEzQ4_p71WeOEwG1CJ04XzkiBVWXoaLXkJZ7moYzE4z3 Book with Lee Ross: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Wisest-One-in-the-Room/Thomas-Gilovich/9781451677560 

My returning guest this week is Jimmy. Jimmy and I review Julia Galef's book Scout Mindset: Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don't. We explore the book from two lenses: Deconversion and Secular Grace. Jimmy brings an intense focus on humility, self-honesty and truth seeking to the conversation. The perfect complement to Julia's book. Julia GalefThe best description of motivated reasoning I've ever seen comes from psychologist Tom Gilovich. When we want something to be true, he said, we ask ourselves, “Can I believe this?,” searching for an excuse to accept it. When we don't want something to be true, we instead ask ourselves, “Must I believe this?,” searching for an excuse to reject it. ... In contrast to directionally motivated reasoning, which evaluates ideas through the lenses of “Can I believe it?” and “Must I believe it?,” accuracy motivated reasoning evaluates ideas through the lens of “Is it true?” Links Jimmy's first appearance on the podcast https://gracefulatheist.com/2020/09/20/jimmy-deconversion-anonymous/ Scout Mindset: Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don't https://amzn.to/3nFCKd9 Soldiers and Scouts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfRC8ZgBXZw Why Buddhism is True https://amzn.to/3nGnXyM Humanist Ten Commitments https://americanhumanistcenterforeducation.org/ten-commitments Daryl Davis, who attends KKK rallies and has helped many leave: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daryl_Davis Interact Full show notes https://gracefulatheist.com/2021/09/19/book-review-scout-mindset-with-jimmy/ Deconversion https://gracefulatheist.com/2017/12/03/deconversion-how-to/ Secular Grace https://gracefulatheist.com/2016/10/21/secular-grace/ Attribution "Waves" track written and produced by Makaih Beats https://makaihbeats.net/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gracefulatheist/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/gracefulatheist/support

In a past episode titled “Spoiled for Choice,” we looked at how decision-making can be hampered by our desire to avoid the painful emotion of regret. In fact, regret aversion can cause people to abandon certain decisions entirely.In this episode of Choiceology with Katy Milkman, we look more closely at regret itself. Stirling Hart is a professional lumberjack. He’s also a world-class lumberjack sports athlete. He has travelled the world competing against the best of the best in events such as the underhand chop, the spring board, the single buck, and the standing block chop. These grueling and dangerous tasks require explosive strength, accuracy, and nerves of steel.In 2016, Stirling Hart represented Canada at the Stihl Timbersports® World Championship in Stuttgart, Germany. He was dominating the events until he came to the hot saw (an event involving a chainsaw built from a modified motorcycle engine). That’s when one split-second decision changed the course of the competition. You’ll hear how that one moment affected Stirling for months afterward.Stirling Hart lives and works in Squamish, British Columbia, Canada.Next, Katy speaks with Colin Camerer about the neuroscience of regret. Colin explains how regret arises and how it can affect our behavior, for better and for worse. You’ll hear about a fascinating study by Tom Gilovich identifying regret in Olympic medalists, and you’ll learn about the ways that regret can influence investment decisions. You’ll also gain valuable insight on how to minimize some of the negative effects of regret.Colin Camerer is a Robert Kirby Professor of Behavioral Finance and Economics at the California Institute of Technology, where he teaches cognitive psychology and economics. You can read more about regret in his paper “Neural Evidence of Regret and Its Implications for Investor Behavior.”Choiceology is an original podcast from Charles Schwab. For more on the series, visit schwab.com/podcast.If you enjoy the show, please leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating or review on Apple Podcasts.Important Disclosures:All expressions of opinion are subject to change without notice in reaction to shifting market conditions.The comments, views, and opinions expressed in the presentation are those of the speakers and do not necessarily represent the views of Charles Schwab.Data contained herein from third-party providers is obtained from what are considered reliable sources. However, its accuracy, completeness or reliability cannot be guaranteed.Investing involves risk, including loss of principal. (1020-081T)

Ever wondered what you're going to be regretting come the end of your life? Prof of psychology Tom Gilovich from Cornell explains what he discovered with his research into end of life regrets. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Se você estivesse em estado terminal de uma doença, você ficaria feliz com a vida que teve? Ou ficaria arrependido de não ter feito outras coisas? Segundo o psicólogo Tom Gilovich, esta é a maior causa de arrependimento das pessoas. Mas não se preocupe, isto irá mudar assim que você ouvir este episódio e conhecer o Eu Ideal!

On our deathbed, most of our regrets will be things we left undone. Four of the top five are so-called regrets of inaction. Looking at them from a family systems perspective will help to avoid them. Show Notes: This article from Cornell summarizes Tom Gilovich's work on regret. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed by Bronnie Ware --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message

An all-star team of behavioral scientists discovers that humans are stubborn (and lazy, and sometimes dumber than dogs). We also hear about binge drinking, humblebragging, and regrets. Recorded live in Philadelphia with guests including Richard Thaler, Angela Duckworth, Katy Milkman and Tom Gilovich.Commercial free broadcast from June 22, 2019 on the Heartland Newsfeed Radio Network, online at heartlandnewsfeed.com, Spreaker and other platforms.Listen Live: https://www.heartlandnewsfeed.com/listenliveFollow us on social mediaFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/hlnfradionetworkTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/HLNF_BulletinInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/heartlandnewsfeedMastadon: https://liberdon.com/@heartlandnewsfeedDiscord: https://discord.gg/6b6u6DTSupport us with your financial supportStreamlabs: https://streamlabs.com/heartlandmediaPayPal: https://www.paypal.me/heartlandmediaSquare Cash: https://cash.app/$heartlandnewsfeedPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/heartlandnewsfeedCrypto via 1UpCoin: https://1upcoin.com/donate/heartlandmediaBusiness contact: jake.leonard@heartlandnewsfeed.com

An all-star team of behavioral scientists discovers that humans are stubborn (and lazy, and sometimes dumber than dogs). We also hear about binge drinking, humblebragging, and regrets. Recorded live in Philadelphia with guests including Richard Thaler, Angela Duckworth, Katy Milkman, and Tom Gilovich.

Thomas Gilovich is the Irene Blecker Rosenfeld Professor of Psychology at Cornell University and co-director of the Cornell Center for Behavioral Economics and Decision Research. He specializes in the study of everyday judgment and reasoning, psychological well-being, and self-assessment. In addition to his articles in scientific journals, Dr. Gilovich is the author of How We Know What Isn’t So (Free Press), Why Smart People Make Big Money Mistakes (Simon and Schuster, with Gary Belsky), Social Psychology (W.W. Norton, with Dacher Keltner, Serena Chen, and Richard Nisbett), and The Wisest One in the Room (The Free Press, with Lee Ross). Dr. Gilovich is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, the Association for Psychological Science, the Society of Experimental Social Psychology, and the Society for Personality and Social Psychology. He received his B.A. in Psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara and his PhD in Psychology from Stanford University. In this episode we dive into the psychology behind why people are happier when they invest in experiences over material possessions. Being one of 4 principles to live by to advance personal happiness, we focus on things people can simply DECIDE to do today, to make themselves happier.

Have you ever seen a cloud overhead that looks very much like, say, a rabbit? Or maybe you’ve found a potato chip that had an uncanny resemblance to Elvis, or a cornflake that was almost exactly the shape of the state of Texas. What are the chances? In this episode of Choiceology with Katy Milkman, we explore curious events and mysterious patterns in order to reveal the human habit of ascribing meaning to randomness. Andy Marocco of the Naval Air Station Fort Lauderdale Museum joins Katy to revisit some of the most famous and enduring unsolved air and naval mysteries that have occurred inside the “treacherous” Bermuda Triangle. You’ll hear about several famous disappearances, with a focus on the harrowing tale of Flight 19 in which several planes and airmen vanished without a trace. Next, we conduct a simple experiment--or is it a magic trick?--involving a series of coin tosses. Our game master will attempt to identify a truly random list from a pile of imposter lists, using nothing but mental prowess. (If you’re still skeptical about how “lumpy” randomness is, just notice how many possible outcomes of four coin flips include either three heads or three tails in a row: HHHH, HHHT, HHTH, HHTT, HTHH, HTHT, HTTH, HTTT, THHH, THHT, THTH, THTT, TTHH, TTHT, TTTH, TTTT.) Then we hear from Cornell University psychology professor Tom Gilovich about randomness as it pertains to iPods, jellybeans, faces, and canals on Mars. Finally, Katy Milkman offers tips on how basic statistical analysis can help you make better decisions. Choiceology is an original podcast from Charles Schwab. For more on the series, visit schwab.com/podcast. If you enjoy the show, please leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating or review on Apple Podcasts. Important Disclosures: All expressions of opinion are subject to change without notice in reaction to shifting market conditions. The comments, views, and opinions expressed in the presentation are those of the speakers and do not necessarily represent the views of Charles Schwab. Data contained herein from third-party providers is obtained from what are considered reliable sources. However, its accuracy, completeness or reliability cannot be guaranteed. (0119-8TSV)

LISTEN TO THE FULL PROGRAM By segment: One Cornell University psychologist Tom Gilovich is coming to EKU to speak about "Happiness in Troubled Times." Listen to a preview conversation about the things that get in the way along the road to joy and contentedness. LISTEN Two There are promising developments in the quest to prevent Alzheimer's. We talk with a leader in the field, Dr. Sanjay Asthana, a keynote speaker at the forthcoming Markesbery Symposium on Aging and Dementia. And, we hear from Dr. Gregory Jicha of UK's Sanders-Brown Center on Aging about exciting research into a selenium compound underway in partnership with the Lexington-based bio-tech company, Alltech. LISTEN Three This month's installment of our "Humans of Central Appalachia" series focuses on "Hillbilly" - a term some wear with pride while others loathe. It's a prelude to a conversation with Ashley York, a Pike County native and now an LA-based filmmaker appearing soon at EKU to screen her documentary film, "Hillbilly," co-directed by Sally Rubin. LISTEN

LISTEN TO THE FULL PROGRAM By segment: One Cornell University psychologist Tom Gilovich is coming to EKU to speak about "Happiness in Troubled Times." Listen to a preview conversation about the things that get in the way along the road to joy and contentedness. LISTEN Two There are promising developments in the quest to prevent Alzheimer's. We talk with a leader in the field, Dr. Sanjay Asthana, a keynote speaker at the forthcoming Markesbery Symposium on Aging and Dementia. And, we hear from Dr. Gregory Jicha of UK's Sanders-Brown Center on Aging about exciting research into a selenium compound underway in partnership with the Lexington-based bio-tech company, Alltech. LISTEN Three This month's installment of our "Humans of Central Appalachia" series focuses on "Hillbilly" - a term some wear with pride while others loathe. It's a prelude to a conversation with Ashley York, a Pike County native and now an LA-based filmmaker appearing soon at EKU to screen her documentary film, "Hillbilly," co-directed by Sally Rubin. LISTEN

Luck. How far can it bring you? Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License "I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it" - Thomas Jefferson- Psychologists use the term hindsight bias to describe our tendency to think, after the fact, that an event was predictable even when it wasn’t. Hindsight bias, also known as the knew-it-all-along effect or creeping determinism, is the inclination, after an event has occurred, to see the event as having been predictable, despite there having been little or no objective basis for predicting it. People really don’t like to hear success explained away as luck—especially successful people. - Now when we tell stories, we're all biased; events that turned out negatively against us are easier to recall than those that were positive. Tom Gilovich calls this the headwinds/tailwinds Asymmetry- Life ultimately, is a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the harder you work, the more opportunities you expose yourself to; and the better your outcomes tend to be. Talk about future episode about the 3 Ps, Preserverence; patience and persistence. "Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity" - Lucius Annaeus Seneca- We should keep working and exposing ourselves to opportunities. Similar to our episode on challenges and failures, we need to keep going. Because; like life, luck is a numbers' game; but one which actually works in our favor.- We need to remember that there is a full spectrum to what we consider as luck. Very good luck could happen whereby some people just happen to make the right moves at the right time or happen to know the right people or end up in the right set of circumstances. Or Very bad luck. Some people make all the right moves, but it’s not the right time. We covered this specifically in our episode on failures; and why you should just treat it as a failed number and move on and try a new approach.- Luck might give you the first opportunity, but you have to be ready to act on it. Not making the most or giving your all for opportunities just because you have been hurt from past failures will mean that you are sabotaging your own chances of success."Luck always seems to be against the man who depends on it" - Anon- In the end, there are 2 ways to look at luck. The passive attitude on luck. In this case, you assume that success is outside of your control, and there’s no point in trying to hard since you assume you won't get it. And the positive attitude on luck.- More important than luck though; is gratitude. Almost all of us born and located in peaceful, developed countries. Even though we may not be doing "well" or be very wealthy or as successful as we want to be; we are most definitely doing much better than a similar person in a 3rd world country or in a country with war. - Instead of looking at luck and seeing missed chances, look at the luck and good fortune you HAVE benefited from. Be thankful and grateful; because Gratitude strengthens our emotions. - we may even find that recognizing our luck increases our good fortune; when we give more and become more generous, we increase our opportunities inadvertently.

Our guest this month is Tom Gilovich, Irene Blecker Rosenfeld Professor of Psychology at Cornell University. Professor Gilovich has published seminal work in the fields of behavioral economics and social psychology. We discuss a wide range of his research and interests including his new paper about sudden-death aversion, the spotlight effect, material vs. experiential consumption, and the important role both Barry Manilow and Vanilla Ice have played in his research. Links from the Episode at presentvaluepodcast.com Faculty Page: Thomas D. Gilovich - The Department of Psychology, Cornell NYTimes Op-Ed: Force Overtime? Or Go For the Win? (Sudden Death Aversion) Book: The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights (Amazon link) Book: Heuristics and Biases: The Psychology of Intuitive Judgment 1st Edition Book: How We Know What Isn't So: Fallibility of Human Reason in Everyday Life  (Amazon link)

A study about satisfaction carried out by a professor of psychology gives us something to think about in the workplace. Tom Gilovich, a professor of psychology at Cornell University, did a study along with some members of his team to find out how levels of satisfaction are affected by spending money on experiences versus spending money on physical things. Gilovich and his team found that people who spend money on physical things such as phones, computers, houses or cars tend to have a drop in satisfaction as time goes on. On the other hand, they found that people who spend money on experiences, like skydiving, traveling or learning a new skill, have higher satisfaction levels overtime. How can we translate this phenomenon into the workplace? A lot of times the relationship we have with our organizations tends to stay very transactional. When we first get the job our satisfaction levels are high, we are excited, expectant and happy. However, as time goes on we tend to become more and more dissatisfied with our jobs. We get bored, disconnected and burned out. Organizations need to find a way to allow employees to feel as if they have purchased an experience--as if they have climbed a mountain or gone skydiving. They need to find a way to help employees get that feeling of increased satisfaction as time goes on. If organizations could do this successfully, think of what that would do to the way we work, the way we feel and the way we live. What do you think? How do you think organizations could fix the way we view work?

Tom Gilovich is a professor of Psychology at Cornell University with an interest in judgement and decision making. He is also the author of the book, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology’s Most Powerful Insights. He has studied many different facets of social psychology including sports decisions, political judgement and decision making, and relationship decision making.   What is the difference between wisdom and intelligence? A lot of aspects go into defining wisdom, but in short intelligence is more about being book smart and wisdom is more about being people smart. To have wisdom you have to be knowledgeable about people; why they do what they do and think what they think.     How can this be translated to the workplace? Gilovich discusses what managers normally do when employees are not performing as well as they should be. Most managers try to change the employee’s behaviors by pushing them in the direction the manager wants them to go. They push them with incentives, punishments, or motivation. But Gilovich says most of the time the poor performance isn’t due to a lack of motivation, it’s because the employee has a hard time “translating their good intentions into effective actions”. So instead of pushing, it is important for leaders in the workplace to understand their employees and to find ways to help their employees put their intentions into action.   Another subject that deals with understanding how people think and act is discussed in an article where Gilovich talks about the difference between experiences and material things and how they impact our happiness. He found three things to be true. Experiences connect us to other people more than material goods do, we are less comparative with experiences than with material things, and experiences contribute more to our identity than material things. In the end he found that people get more enduring happiness from experiences than material things.   Could this principle be used in organizations to make employees more happy and content with their jobs? We spend a majority of our time working, and yet it seems that most people become more and more dissatisfied with their jobs as time goes on. Perhaps if we could find a way to make work more of an experience people would enjoy their jobs and their satisfaction would grow over time. But who is responsible for this change, the employee or the employer? Perhaps a little bit of both. It is important for both parties to be a part of this change. Employers should focus on creating a better employee experience, however up to this point the responsibility has been put on the employer alone. It is also up to the employees to change their outlook.   Gilovich gave an example of two janitors working at Nasa, when asked what they do for a living one janitor said “I clean the floors and empty the trash” the other janitor said “I help put people on the moon”. Both janitors were correct, except one looked at the simplistic version of the job whereas the other one looked at the bigger picture. One of these two janitors is going to have a greater sense of purpose and a better employee experience based on their outlook.   Another thing we have to understand is that there are times when we misevaluate things in our lives. Gilovich gives the example of riding a bike. When you are biking and you face the wind you cannot deny it is there; it is in your face and you feel it. However, when you turn around and have it at your back you are grateful for a minute but then you don’t even notice it after awhile. This demonstrates how the things we have to overcome are the things we pay attention to, because we have to. Those hard times in life or the barriers that stand in the way of our happiness, we have to focus and work hard to overcome them. But the things in life that give us “a boost”-- a pay raise or a new car, the good times--those are the things that are easy to forget.   Because we easily forget the good, easy times we have the tendency to look at others (possibly co-workers) and feel that the other people have better lives. We have a tendency to claim life is “unfair” when we see others get raises, promotions, or good things in life.   How can we be the wisest one in the room and put it into practice in the workplace? We spend about 30% of our lives in the workplace, so happiness and fulfillment at work are important. In order to improve the employee experience it is important for both employers and employees to focus on cultivating experience. How can employees have a sense of purpose at work, how can employees and employers connect and form relationships, and how can employees attain more freedom while still performing their job? All of these things play into the big picture of employee experience and how to be the wisest one in the room.       What you will learn in this episode:  The difference between wisdom and intelligence  Why we misevaluate certain things   Strategies and techniques to use to be the wisest person in the room  How experiences have a different effect on us than purchasing material things  How motivation impacts workplace  Who is responsible for creating a sense of purpose; the employee or the employer  Biases we are subjected to  What is naive realism and how can we avoid it?  Link From The Episode: The Wisest One In The Room on Amazon   (Music by Ronald Jenkees)

If you've ever because where wisdom comes from, why some have more of it than others, or how we can become wiser ourselves, than do we have the show for you. Today we'll be talking with Cornell Psychology Professor and Best-selling author Tom Gilovich on his latest book, The Wisest One in the Room How You can Benefit from Social Pyschologies Greatest Insights. We'll talk about what wisdom is, where it comes from how to harness it, and how to understand how other people work. That plus we'll look at why two heads may be better than one, why we eat pocorn mindlessly, what body posture has to do with success, and why Nelson Mandela was surely the wisest one in the room. Questions and Topics Include: What's the difference between wisdom and intelligence and what ‘the Smartest Guys in the Room' from Enron has to do with anything. Why social interaction is critical to being ‘wise' What are the 5 pillars of wisdom? Why it's so important to understand the opt-in principle What is Naïve Realism Why George Carlin was such a wise man. Why two heads are better than one What's the push and pull of situations Why people would shock study participants even screaming in pain (without stopping!). Why tiny tweaks can have enormous effects on people's behavior. What is ‘the name of the game' and why's it important to us Why Brian Wansink was able to get people to eat 2 day old popcorn What's the prisoner's dilemma? What's in a name – the difference between The Community Game vs. The Wall Street Game Why Chemlawn changed their name. Why you should bounce on the balls of your feet and assume a confident posture if you're in trouble or in a funk. What Dick Cheney and the Iraqi war has to do with looking at the world through a keyhole. Why Wisdom may be all about perspective, pausing or taking it all in. What Mark Zupan and Murderball have to do with wisdom What the science says about helping people – and why the research shows helping other people feels good. Why giving till it hurt really doesn't. What a big challenge is for America What Carol Dweck's work on mindset has to do with intelligence, performance, and motivation What's an incremental mindset Why the smartest kids in high school may struggle with failure in college – the big question is ‘do I belong or not' and the answer is often self-fulfilling. What did Mandela do with Rugby (the Hollywood movie Invictus) to bring his country together. Tom Gilovich - Best Selling Author of The Wisest One in the Room Shares Secrets to Wisdom, Motivation & Success, for Your Business, Home, Happiness & Career! Inspiration | Entrepreneur | Health | Social Psychology | Leadership | Self-Help For More Info Visit: www.InspireNationShow.com

Dan Ariely, Tom Gilovich

Dan Ariely, Tom Gilovich