Smashterpieces

It all began when I was just a kid, bouncing on my father's knee. You see, I'm a podcaster, from a long line of podcasters. There was Podcastkhamen III, Ryuichi Podcast, Sir Augestine of Podcast, Drake Podcast, Old Sally Podcast, Otto Von Podcast, Bob Podcast, Salim al-Podcast, B.F. Podcast, Henriette Podcast, “Tennessee Kid” Podcast, Dev Podcasinda, Conner Podcast, Slaigh MacPodcast, Karin Podcastgiwa, Sir Galleth Podcast, Thaddeus Winslow Podcast III, and, of course, Serial.Join us next time as we go BAACK IN TIIIIIIIIIIIME!(Fire Emblem will continue soon, we promise, we're not dead yet!)

Hey kids, upset that we only released a grand total of 7 episodes of Smashterpieces in the year 2024? Well, how about we make it up to you by giving you an episode that is way too long! It's like three episodes in one! That's how content works. There's even a part 2 that will come out soon!Yeah!!

I present to you this lukewarm defense of the one named Boyd: yeah sure he sucks, and he's bad at combat, and he got his ass beat by a child that one time, and the only girl his age thinks he's a huge dumb loser, and nobody actually values his opinion, and he seems weirdly full of himself despite all the abuse, and he's definitely never gonna be in charge of anything, and his brothers are both more liked than him somehow, and… sorry, I lost my train of thought, what were we talking about? Aw, whatever. Let's just move on to part one of our discussion on Smashterpiece #50 (oh my god what do you mean 50): Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, this episode covering up to the end of Chapter 8. It's the game with the swords and the grids and please stick around, yes I know the last one took a really long time but we're- no hey come back, just give us a chance! Don't take the kids!We'll be back soon with more discussion on Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance!

Space. Some say it's the final frontier, but I never watched Star Trek so honestly I wouldn't say that. Nobody can hear you scream in space, though! … But I haven't seen Alien, either. Neither of these things has anything to do with the topic of this episode, the only slight thread that can be found is the fact that they all take place in space to some degree. Sure, not entirely in space. In fact some might say the amount of times our subject isn't in space is too many. That subject is Smashterpiece #49: Star Fox: Assault, where space ships are reportedly part of the whole experience. I don't know where I'm going with this and the meds are kicking in. Which meds? Iunno, Peppy had a lot sitting on his desk and I just sorta went ham. The music in this game is pretty alright, though! I don't like dinosaurs. Does anybody else see those bugs? Please call a doctor.Join us next time as we sharpen our swords and return to war in Smashterpiece #50, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance

I don't wanna write this episode description. You can't make me write it. What did this game do for me that makes it deserve an episode description from Michelin five star episode description chef Joe? Oh, what, is it pretentious to give myself five stars? It's called self-confidence and I'm usually devoid of it, unlike the protagonist of Smashterpiece #48, Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, Samus Aran. She fights those there Ing and she does it without breaking a sweat! I assume. She wears a helmet, it's difficult to tell. Anyways, no matter what Melanie says I don't believe I owe this game my time in writing an episode description. I won't be bullied into it, there's nothing you or those Luminoths or any other space bugs can say that will change my mind. Especially not Spider Guardian, don't you DARE bring up Spider Guardian, stupid rolly thing it doesn't even look like a spider, can't even do that right. With that being said, I'll just stop writing and read over what I- OH GOD DAMNIT.Join us next time as we enter THE BUG WARS (or something) in Smashterpiece #49: Star Fox Assault

So I'm talkin' to this fella, right? And I says to him, I says, “I crashed my ship on this planet and now you tell me it's planets? Two of ‘em?” And he says, here's what he says, “my people are dying in an endless war between light and dark, please help us.” I say “fella listen up I just got here and you're lookin' for money? What is this, my most recent divorce trial?” He looks at me and he says “I need you to collect energy from the Ing and bring it back to this temple in order to help turn the tides.” I sit down cause this is a lot, I say “listen fella you want energy? So do I! Tired all the time, like I'm some kinda old coot!” He says “Go to the Agon Wastes.” I say “Buddy lemme tell ya I know a lot about waste, cause I'm a waste of space!” Then he shot me!This episode covers up to the end of the Agon Wastes.We'll be back soon with more discussion on Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

ATTENTION! If you or a loved one was diagnosed with “Possession” via a “Shadow Queen”, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Shadow Queen Possession is a rare Ghost Thing linked to crystal star exposure. Exposure to crystal stars on a skeleton's ship, a fancy train, an unproperly sanitized fighting ring, a god awful tree, a creepy steeple, or The Moon may have put you at risk. Please don't wait. Call into your nearest sewer drain for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. The packet will have all the info you need for the final episode of discussion on Smashterpiece #47, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. Shadow Queen Possession patients call now.Join us next time as we move to the next phase(on) in Smashterpiece #48: Metroid Prime 2: Echoe

Hey, woah, bro! What you got there, bro? A hammer, bro? What are you, some kind of Hammer Bro, bro? Are you gonna hit me, bro? All because I pulled a harmless little prank, bro? It was just a prank, bro! Just because I turned your dad into a pig, bro? Just because I pig'd your dad, bro? You're gonna hit me with a hammer, bro? Not cool, bro. Bruh, bro… I don't really know how to transition from this terribly stupid bit into actual information, bro. This episode covers chapters 4-6 for what it's worth, bro. We laughed and we cried, bro. Much like how I'm gonna cry if you keep swinging that hammer, bro. C'mon, bro. I just don't underst-We'll see you next time as we wrap up Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (bro)

2023 was the year of a lot of things. Playing Smashterpieces games was not one of them.We'll be back soon with more Paper Mario (I promise).

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! ACTUALLY IT'S THURSDAY! THURSDAY THURSDAY THURSDAY! ARE YOU READY FOR A BRAWL? A BOUT? A GOD DAMN DONNYBROOK? YOU'RE IN THE PIT, AND IT'S TIME FOR THE TITLE MATCH! IN ONE CORNER THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE SHINING, THE SPECTACULAR, THE FEATHER BOUND, THE BIRD, RAAAAAAWK HAAAAAAWK! IN THE OTHER CORNER THE MYSTERIOUS MUSTACHIOED MENACE AND HIS SON, A LITERAL INFANT BORN HALF AN HOUR AGO! IT'S THE GREAAAAT GONZALES! IN TONIGHT'S MA- *ahem* oh god, it turns out screaming for an entire one of these descriptions does not do good things for the throat. This is part one of our discussion on Smashterpiece #47: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. It covers the start of the game to the end of chapter 3, so I hope you're ready to hear about why we miss the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, why we did not enjoy playing Bad Pikmin, and why it's time to RAAAAAAWK. Or something like that. I don't know, I'm not a lawyer.We'll be back soon with Part 2 of our discussion, which will cover chapter 4 to the end of chapter 6!

Space Log #223: We've landed on Planet Zebes but we have lost our power suits, and therefore have lost the shell that protects our small and fragile human bodies. Worry not, though, as the hard shell on our hearts still remains. Well, mine does, I can't actually speak for Matt. Sadly this particular hard shell is only metaphorical, as the heart is also squishy and made of pierceable flesh. I admit that maybe buying the cheapest pistols at Space Costco for our emergency kit was not the smartest idea, but I will never say out loud that Matt was right when he yelled at me for buying them. The guy at the store said these were the ones we wanted! We're fine. It's fine. Anyways, that's not what this log is actually about, we're actually going to talk about Smashterpiece #46: Metroid: Zero Mission. How does it compare to the original? What about to other remakes in the series, such as the remakes of Metroid II? How is the new section at the end? THE GUNS ARE FINE, STOP WHINING OR I WON'T GIVE YOU ANY MORE DISCOUNT SPACE RATIONS. THEY WERE ON SALE.Join us next time as we flatten and fold into the world of Smashterpiece #47: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

I wanna be the very best, or at least passable in the eyes of my peers. See, that's the difference between you and I. You pick a Charmander because it's the only one that gets to learn fly when it's fully evolved, but that's just the easy route. It works, yeah. But have you ever considered a Squirtle? It's the only one that doesn't get any dual typing at all, that's the true patriot's path. Back in my day we had to evolve uphill both ways, you damn kids have it too easy, everybody should have to suffer like I did. What was I talking about? Oh right, this episode is talking about Smashterpiece #45: Pokémon FireRed and LeafGreen, our first real Pokemon game. Things did not go according to plan. That's another thing you young'uns don't get: plans! And home ownership! Anyways we're joined by our friend Devon as we delve into the region of Kanto for a remake of the original Pocket Monster collecting games. Who are you? Where are my teeth?Join us next time as we return to Planet Zebes but this time for the first time in Smashterpiece #46: Metroid: Zero Mission

Say fellas, did somebody mention the Door to Darkness?Pokemon is coming.

Did you know that dogs can't look up? This implies that the Doomslayer, who also cannot look up, is in fact not a person but a dog. The evidence is out there, mostly on Mars and in Hell, but it is out there. Don't believe me? Have you ever seen the Doomslayer eat food? Of course not, cause he's eating his dog food in secret to throw you off the trail. Wake up, sheeple! The government doesn't want you to know! The Doomslayer is a dog! Anyways, we're here to talk about Doom. Not 2016, that'd be silly. We're talking about the ORIGINAL Doom. You know, the one where you can't look up BECAUSE THE DOOMSLAYER IS A DOG.Join us next time as oh god we're playing that? No, god no, what hath we wrought?

Welcome to FASCAR, the channel where we talk about Fast Cars. Today we're gonna talk about the fastest cars of all, the ones of the legendary F-Zero Grand Prix. They go very fast. They go extremely fast. Think of the fastest thing you know. A beautiful stallion? Faster. A regal cheetah? Faster. A tuned-up racecar? Faster. A jet like from that one movie? FASTER. The speed at which my life has fallen apart and my family has left me so I'm stuck here in this dark room writing podcast episode descriptions trying desperately not to let it set in but it gets harder to do so every day? Somehow even faster. You can hear all about these speed demons in this episode discussing Smashterpiece #44: F-Zero GX. What do we think about the story mode as opposed to the Grand Prix? What makes this game so special in the world of racing games? Where's your closest F-Zero AX machine? All that and more in today's episode! (NOTE: We do not know which F-Zero AX machine is closest to you personally, that would be weird)Join us next time as we set off on our first proper Pokémon adventure in Smashterpiece #45: Pokémon FireRed/LeafGreen

As I sit here on this battlefield, I think long and hard about the cost of this war. The lives lost (statistically like 7 or so), the wives widowed (I actually think our army only had three married people in it and two of them were married to each other), the blood spilt (this game is rated E for Everyone so honestly there really wasn't any now that I think about it), the time taken (okay yeah this one checks out)… Was it really worth it? What were we even fighting for? I suppose if I had to come up with an answer it'd be that we were fighting for Smashterpiece #43, Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade. An era has finally come to an end, and it needs much discussion. How do the last few maps of the game hold up? What are some of the major differences between the ends Eliwood and Hector's routes? Is Ninian Roy's mom or did we all get it wrong? What even is a dragon, anyways? All this and more in today's episode.Join us next time as we go way too god damn fast in Smashterpiece #44: F-Zero GX

Despite our many objections, another year has come and gone and time continues its merciless march forward. You may be tempted to feel anxious about the endless cycle of mortality slowly walking you towards a cliff, but we have just the remedy for that! Two guys talking about video games they already talked about on a podcast! Then looking forward to the next year, as if any of this matters. Well, it matters to us, so don't go spoiling our good time! We thank you for your support in 2022, here's to more progress on this daunting list in 2023.We'll see you again soon for our final episode on Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade!

Ah, sorry we're late! You know, the weather and the traffic and all that, but at least we're just in time for the holidays! I mean, it's only been… Oh god, has it actually been that long? Oh no, oh jeez, oh dang… It's fine, let's just say we went off to war and that's why we took so long, right? War wasn't won in a day! A fact that we have learned extensively in Smashterpiece #43: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade. Much like the wheel of fate, Alex's wheel of death continues to spin. Not really, more just people are dying. Everywhere, really. Even you, even me, even Eliwood, even the character from Binding Blade that you absolutely know because you've played Binding Blade, right? We've all played Binding Blade, the game that didn't release outside of Japan? Yeah, we all played it. Definitely. Anyways, life is finite.The next episode will be our final episode on The Blazing Blade.

Dearest, Bethanissa,I write to you from an island that I'm told not many return from once they have breached its shores. It's cold here, the pegasus knights have had to chip the ice of their mounts' wings using the spare axes in the caravan, the fires have barely been able to keep us warm. A cloaked gentleman popped out of a basement roughly three days ago and said no magic allowed, as it turns out our company has become so accustomed to lighting the nightly campfire using the magicks of our various mages. Nobody knows how to build an actual fire. To pass the time we can only discuss Smashterpiece #43: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade. Without this distraction, I daresay we would have lost all morale long ago. I think of you often, Bethanistopher, your picture kept close to my chest in the locket you gave me before I was enlisted. I treasure it, and hope to see you again soon…Matthew is dead. The thief not the host.Part three of our discussion on The Blazing Blade will cover chapters 20-26.

This Fire Emblem game looks really weirdThe war will continue soon, more Fire Emblem is to come!

Draw thy blade, it is time to enter the world of war and strife, struggle and conflict, death and resets. Here there is no happiness, only pain, but there could be happiness at the end of this tunnel. The only way to find out is to fight. Florina died again. Today's episode is discussing the first ten chapters of Smashterpiece #43: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade, or just Fire Emblem as it is known in the west. We're joined by Alex de Freitas of Nintendo World Report for our first check in on what was the first Fire Emblem to ever be released outside of Japan. How is Joe so far handling his first Fire Emblem without the crutch of a casual mode? Why is the beginning of this game so horribly handholdy? Why Erk make fire? All this and more in today's episode!Part two of our discussion on The Blazing Blade will cover chapters 11-19.

Hello everyone, this is Matt. I've wrested Joe's keyboard away from him to bring you this urgent message: I'm being held hostage in game #42: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, and I need you to come save me. I believe I'm being kept in a bad dungeon, which I understand doesn't narrow it down very much. Oh god, he's coming, make sure you burn this message before he can—Matt has unfortunately and painfully died of scurvy, just take my word for it.Join us next time as we pick up our swords and meet our dragon wives in Smashterpiece #42: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade

Oh god Wind Waker's taking forever, this is technically our third bonus episode in a row, what have we do-… Oh uh, hey I didn't see you there! Uh… P-pirate crocodiles, am I right? What's up with them? They kidnap your friend and you have to take your girlfriend to beat them up? And your girlfriend has hair that she can like… uh… she can pick stuff up and be a helicopter and uh… um… This bonus episode is about Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, a game that is in fact not called Diddy Kong's Quest, and I'm sure at least a few of you are going to be shocked by this revelation. It's a platformer full of monkeys and bananas and it's got a good soundtrack and look I'm sorry we're working on it, the ocean is big and sailing is hard, this game also has a pirate ship in it please just accept our apology.

Do you feel that? The dread? The fear? The anxiety? Mostly the dread though, it's the one that's in the title so I guess it's the most important. Please stop talking, or that evil robot is going to find us. What? I'm the one who's been talking this whole time? Have I at least been telling you about this new bonus episode from Smashterpieces on 2021's Metroid Dread for the Nintendo Switch? Yes? What about how we liked it and talk a lot about why we like it? Have I mentioned how Kraid doesn't deserve respect? You're waving your arms wildly with fear in your eyes, but I asked a yes or no question could you at least answer? It's rude not t- Oh I appear to have been stabbed.

Your mission is simple: you'll be sent in solo and quietly, armed with nothing but a single handgun. All other equipment will have to be procured on site. We don't know what you'll find in there, but satellite imagery doesn't paint a pretty picture. Your orders are to kill on sight, do not attempt to speak to the targets about anything, do not engage with the targets about anything, do not make eye contact with the targets, do not shake their hand, do not sit down for a friendly game of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate with them. It is vitally important you understand this. If you falter they may begin to tell you about Resident Evil 4, the only horror title you're likely to ever hear them talk about on this show (unless they decide otherwise I guess). You may be asking yourself: is a full assassination really necessary for these two? What you have to understand is that they keep putting out podcasts and we just don't know what else to do at this point. Good luck.Join us next time as… something about beans? I think?

In the reaches of space, below the surface of planet Plagiarism, Joe and Matt faced video games. They destroyed their operation, wiped out the parasites called gamers, and defeated Mother Brain. But the games were far from finished… Because they still have like 40 of them left on their list. One of those games is Smashterpiece #41: Metroid Prime, one of the very few first-person shooters on our list. No matter how much we try, the games remain, so at least this time we've dragged another into this pit with us. Joining us this week to talk about lava worms and chozo ghosts and 3D maps and statistically probably some kind of metroid is George Hyde AKA SuperDQP! How do we feel about the various areas of Tallon IV? How successful is this game's exploration based design when compared to the 2D games in the series? What the hell does it mean when somebody says they wish Samus could wear different heads? All this and more in today's episode!Join us next time as we sail the open seas to save our sister in Smashterpieces #42: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Look, I want to write a snappy, surreal, weird description for this episode but frankly this game already does so much of my work for me that it feels like cheating. I mean come on, the main villain's name is Brad. It's just Brad. Everybody else is named like Saki or Airan or Achi and then there's just a dude named Brad. How am I supposed to compete with that? Should I just retire? Is this where I have to throw in the towel? I'm having an existential crisis over here, please somebody send help. In the meantime here's our bonus episode on the N64 title Sin and Punishment, which can be played through the Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack Extravaganza Galleria or whatever it's called. His name is Brad.We'll be back soon with our episode on Metroid Prime.

Hello, I am writing to you from a jail cell on the beautiful, tropical Isle Delfino. I know that may sound like I am in a setting most would only dream, full of swaying palm trees, sunny beaches, and drinks that are five types of alcohol dumped into a coconut, but I regret to inform you that I am having no such experience. Upon disembarking the plane I was immediately arrested for a crime committed by somebody who could by certain definitions maybe sort of look like me (which side note: could also be grounds for a discrimination lawsuit) and was thrown into a dingy prison likely to rot away while my girlfriend (unofficial) is allowed to wander free. It is damaging to my reputation, an infringement on my rights, and really harshing the vibe of my vacation. I am sending this episode of Smashterpieces talking about the 2002 Nintendo GameCube title Super Mario Sunshine, in the hopes that you will take up my case as an attorney. You may be hesitant given my record, but hopefully the discussion of why the platforming in this game feels so off, why the aesthetic is both strong but has its drawbacks, and why the music is overall pretty decent will change your mind. I hope to hear from you soon, otherwise I fear the gallows may be in my future.Join us next time as we shift our perspective into first person for Smashterpiece #41: Metroid Prime

Look, normally this would be where I wrote this weird abstract abomination to the English language that would cause everybody reading to reach out and ask if I'm okay, but I don't know, man… 2021 was not a great year for most people, ourselves included. But that doesn't mean that Smashterpieces did not have a banger of a year. We have to take stock sometimes and remind ourselves that hey we actually did really good this year! Ten more games done, the completion of the N64 era, our first Pokémon battles for the show, the beginning of the GameCube era, a month in an animal filled town, a night in a haunted mansion, the death of many many sons, our introduction to Pac-Man's terrifying dog, the introduction of Mickey Mouse into the Smashterpieces canon. These are all good things! These are all things we had fun with in 2021, these are things we accomplished that are good. We can step back and look at these things and think “hey, you know what? 2021 wasn't a waste.” I think that's important.We'll be back soon with our episode discussing Super Mario Sunshine, but until then take care and happy new year. We ain't stopping any time soon.Auld Lang Syne 8-bit rendition by Bulby

One fateful day in the year 1925, somebody drew some sketches of mice around a picture of Walt Disney. Eventually in 1928 that led to the creation of Mickey Mouse in the cartoon short Steamboat Willie (I should note it was not Walt who designed this character but was instead his friend and colleague Ub Iwerks). From there he was like a runaway steamboat into a town of innocent people, except in this case that town was actually the institution of American copyright law and the townspeople were every single piece of media to ever exist on this Earth. So where am I going with this? Well fast forward to 2002 and suddenly Mickey is sharing the screen with anime, something I'm sure Walt would have just loved to see and definitely would not have hated. Anyways that anime crap is in Smash now, so hey let's talk about Smashterpiece #39: Kingdom Hearts, the gaming industry's dumbest and most resilient crossover franchise between the likes of Disney animation and Final Fantasy. What do we think of how this game aged? Is it worth it to fight that giant Ursula? And why is Yoko Shimomura just the best?Join us next time as we take a little tropical vacation where nothing will go wrong in Smashterpiece #40: Super Mario Sunshine

Alright, folks, let's continue today's tour of the Video Game Historical Excavation Site. Oh, what's this? One of our excavators appears to have found something in the soft earth! Why, it's a copy of a platformer from the long bygone era of 2002! I'm afraid this discovery means that we must shut down the site to visitors for the day, but don't you worry! You'll be given a complimentary recording of us discussing Smashterpiece #38: Pac-Man World 2. It even includes a guest appearance by long time friend of the show Luke (aka Cyberlink420), who brings an unconscionable amount of Pac-Man lore that is sure to haunt your dreams and cause you pain, but in a good way we assume. How surprised were we about this game's general quality? Why is Pac-Man's dog Chomper a terrifying monstrosity? How do we feel about the game's bumpin' soundtrack? All that and more in today's episode!Join us next time as we dive into the heart for Smashterpiece #39: Kingdom Hearts

Yet another milestone on our timeline has been reached! Today we talk about the game that refuses to die, no matter what those surrounding it do or say. A competitive titan, a wavedashing masterpiece, a space fox's dream. That's right, everybody, today we discuss the legendary Super Smash Bros Melee, the early GameCube title that would take the foundation of its predecessor and become a template for all the games to come after. Why do Matt and Joe consider this game one they love to watch but not necessarily play? What's it like to know that this is the last time a Super Smash Bros game would have a single lead composer/arranger? And why did Hungrybox come to my house and uninstall all my items before forcing me to play as Jigglypuff?Join us next time as we journey into a world of… ghosts and dots? Probably? In Smashterpiece #38: Pac-Man World 2

CAPTAIN'S LOG: We have crash landed on an alien planet, the various parts of our craft have been scattered amongst the foliage. For awhile we were able to scrounge up the necessary resources we needed to survive but at around the two week mark our inspiring story with themes of determination and grit quickly transformed into a tragedy. Joe was the first to go, a bird sprouting from the ground as if it were a root vegetable being plucked from the earth and wrapping its mighty beak around Joe's soft frame. Matt went soon afterwards, chased down and devoured without hesitation by one of those damned Bulborbs. David was able to last a few more days but alas, he too met his end when a stupid frog broke every bone in his body with a body slam. All this death really makes you wonder: if they're all gone then who the hell is hosting this episode of the show? You know, the one covering Smashterpiece #37: Pikmin? It's the episode guest starring David (DVD Smith) where they talk about Joe's first experience with the game, the pseudo RTS style gameplay, the many many Pikmin corpses left in their wake, and of course how pleasant the soundtrack is to listen to. This may be a mystery that'll never be solved, but hey at least we have an episode that came out of it!Join us next time for a special episode on the second game in Nintendo's beloved crossover fighter: Super Smash Bros. Melee

Hello and welcome to our latest seminar on the housing market in the Mushroom Kingdom, I know you're all dying to get started so I'll make this quick. Our usual speakers are here but we have also prepared a guest speaker presentation on the subject of what to do if you win a mansion in a contest you don't remember winning, only to find that the mansion is full of ghosts and the boss of all those ghosts has trapped your brother in a painting, forcing you to equip a weird vacuum to destroy those that have come from the realm beyond who stand in your way. You may be thinking that this is a very specific subject on which to hold a presentation, but apparently it happens frequently enough that it's warranted. Our guest, Mr. Xander Morningstar, joins us to tell the cautionary tale of Smashterpiece #36: Luigi's Mansion. How do we feel this game stacks up against its more recent sequels? Why is Joe over the moon about the sound design? And why are the boos so mean? All that and more in today's semina- er, episode!Join us next time as we crash land on a distant planet in Smashterpiece #37: Pikmin

Welcome to the first and likely final meeting of this HOA, we're glad you've taken the time out of your busy schedule to be with us today. We don't want to keep you here for too long so let's just go ahead and jump into it, shall we? Today's agenda is a collection of neighborhood complaints from the town of Smash that have been combined to form what we're calling Smashterpiece #35: Animal Crossing. All parties involved have decided to remain anonymous out of fear for their safety. Complaint #1: One resident of Smash, hereby known only as “K”, grifted the town salesman out of roughly 50% more paper than she would ever need, he didn't appreciate it. Complaint #2: Another resident, now known as “B”, was seen walking along the beach in the dark with what a neighbor described as “a look of murderous intent” and went fishing for several consecutive hours. Complaint #3: Multiple instances of people taking things out of the lost and found that is not there. We're going to jump to our panel of experts now so they can talk about their month in the town of Smash, so I guess please enjoy that.Join us next time as we totally win a completely free and non-haunted mansion in Smashterpiece #36: Luigi's Mansion

Hello and welcome, we're delighted that you have chosen to join us on the Smashterpieces Pokémon Photo Safari Extravaganza. Please remember to keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, Smashterpieces will not be held responsible for any loss of limb or other bodily harm you may sustain during your time spent with us. Each of you has been provided with three tools, all of them of vital importance to your journey. First of all there's the illumina orbs, it can make the Pokémon glow and sometimes they jump higher, or at least that's what the script says I have to say. Then you have your apples, those are mostly gonna come in handy when we enter the volcano portion of our tour. There may or may not be a Tyrantrum that appears, he will want you dead. What you're gonna do in that case is throw the apple at him and he maybe won't charge at you. If I'm being honest you got about a 50/50 shot on that one, I'm sure you'll be fine. You also have a music player, it's just there for tax reasons, it doesn't do anything. Anyways if you've signed your liability waivers and have your cameras ready, we hope you enjoy your safari. In the meantime please enjoy this bonus episode on New Pokémon Snap, a game we brought into existence with our weird reality bending curse. Good luck!We'll return with Animal Crossing soon!

All rise for the honorable Judge Toadsworth. Today we find ourselves at the trial of one of history’s greatest monsters. This sick individual took advantage of the tired and weary at the worst possible moment, sick and desperate they clung to his lab coat begging for a cure he knew he did not have, and yet… he persisted. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this individual calls himself Dr. Mario, but he is no doctor! As evidence of this malicious malpractice, we present Smashterpiece #34: Dr. Mario 64! How does the jury feel about this falling block puzzle game? What does this game do impressively, and what does it do very unimpressively? Does the soundtrack sure exist? All that and more in today’s trial! … I mean episode!Join us next time as we spend a month of cohabitation in an animal filled town in Smashterpiece #35: Animal Crossing

The crowd cheers, the combatants face each other. Here come the pokéballs, the battle is about to begin in earnest! Oh, it’s Alakazam! Oh, it’s Wooper! This does not seem like a fair fight, but let’s see how it plays out. Well, that Alakazam was knocked out before I even had a chance to blink, what an amazing battle this has been. While we wait for the next Pokémon to emerge, let’s take a second to tell the folks at home that this is the episode representing Fighter #19: Pichu, it’s the 2000 Nintendo 64 game Pokémon Stadium 2. What makes this game such an interesting piece of video game and Pokémon history? Why does it feel like the RNG seems unfairly against you in certain situations? What do we think of the minigames? And why does it feel like the soundtrack is overall such a dud? All this and more in today’s episode!Join us next time when we get our medical licenses revoked in Smashterpiece #34: Dr. Mario 64

Let us look back, far into the past (roughly around 2001, so basically ancient). In the wondrous land of “Bun-Jee” a small single celled organism called “combat” enjoyed a carefree existence. But one day combat found itself in the shadow of a larger being called a MICROSOFT. At first it was afraid, but eventually the two formed a symbiotic relationship, and thus combat… evolved. Yes, I am aware the previous sentences sound like the rantings of a madman but to be honest you should know what you signed up for by now. Today’s episode is about the game representing fighter #458, Master Chief, it’s the one and only Halo: Combat Evolved. How did it feel playing this game in co-op, and how did this affect Joe’s first time playing in general? What is the fascinating development history behind this game? How is that music so damn good? All that and more in today’s episode!Join us next time as we probably don't travel into the mushroom forest.

Hello, we’re back once agaI’M GONNA WIN! … We are here to talk abouYOU’VE HAD IT! … Can I please just get a full sentence out beCAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL! … This is seriously gratiYOU’RE WASTING MY TIME! I beg of you, just let me… oh, they’re done. Cool. Today’s discussion is about Smashterpiece #32: Pokémon Puzzle League, a reskin of Tetris Attack which in itself was a reskin of Panel de Pon. Why did we initially think this game would be a mistake, and how deep did we go into the game itself? Why does Joe describe the game’s sound design as “a nightmare”? Why is the soundtrack a weird one to discuss? And is Ash truly going to win? All that and more in today’s episode!Join us next time as we battle our way up Gym Leader Castle in Smashterpiece #33: Pokémon Stadium 2

We’ve heard the words of many a wise guide throughout our years, a mentor or simply a person on the street trying to give us words to uplift us in a time of struggle. Sometimes however these beings of great knowledge instead ask us questions, ones meant to help us come up with our own wisdom that we too can pass on to those who come after. So we pass the question we were asked to you: Can you feel life moving through your mind? Can you feel time slipping down your spine? Basically what I’m saying is we played Sonic Adventure 2 for this bonus episode. While Matt was hanging on to the edge of tomorrow, Joe did not enjoy this opportunity to live and learn from the works of yesterday. What does this game do well? Why is it seemingly responsible for the divide between generations of Sonic fans? How great is that music? Why does the dialogue all bleed intAnd why does Joe have such a beef with the level design? All that and more in this bonus episode.We’ll be back soon for our final discussion on Pokemon Puzzle League!

Look, all I’m saying is that we were all sitting around, minding our own business, playin’ a nice friendly game of poker. Then BOOM. A witch blows up our house, does that seem fair to you? Really should’ve paid extra for that witch insurance… also probably should have taken out a life insurance policy on Bottles. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess. Today’s episode is about Smashterpiece #31: Banjo-Tooie, our final game developed by the legendary Rare and the second outing for the famous bear and bird trio! Our friend Pat joins us to discuss the adventure through the Isle O’ Hags in order to collect shiny golden puzzle pieces. Why do we think this game generally does not hold up as well as the first entry? What’s our favorite and least favorite levels? What problems arose specifically due to us playing the XBox 360 remaster? And why are the levels so damn big? All this and more in today’s episode!Join us next time as we swap blocks and regret all the decisions that brought us to this point in Smashterpiece #32: Pokémon Puzzle League

The conclusion of our Bear & Bird adventure is coming soon, but for now it’s New Year’s Eve and it seems fitting to take this opportunity to look back and then look forward. We released episodes on ten games from our list this year, starting with Game & Watch Gallery and ending out on Majora’s Mask. What are our main takeaways from these experiences? How do we feel about the four bonus episodes we released as well? Finally, what does our next stretch potentially look like, as we leave the Nintendo 64 and enter the realm of the almighty Gamecube? Let’s also not forget that a new game has been added to our list since last we spoke, so we go ahead and discuss that a little too.We’ll be back in a week or so with our episode on Banjo-Tooie, but for now have a Happy New Year and we’ll see you in 2021!

It’s time to take a brief detour from our witch hunting adventures and head back up into space real quick. We hear there’s some parasites that are just no good! Today’s bonus episode is on the 2002 Game Boy Advance title Metroid Fusion, where we join Samus on her journey to defeat the X Parasites. How do we think this game compares to Super Metroid? Why are all the bosses so absurdly difficult? How’s the soundtrack stack up? And why did this game come out the exact same year as Metroid Prime? All this and more in today’s episode!We’ll be back soon with Banjo-Tooie!

The clock tower bell chimes, the shadow of the moon looms close. A sense of despair fills the air. Surely this couldn’t actually happen, right? The sad truth is that it can, and it is. We have three days. Today’s episode is to discuss a game close to both of our hearts, Smashterpiece #30: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. Why is it that we love this game so much? Is this potentially the best game on our entire list? Why is the world of Termina so impactful? What about that sweet sweet music? All this and more in today’s episode, including our plans for the latest character release.Join us next time as we set off on an adventure through the Isle O’ Hags in Smashterpiece #31: Banjo-Tooie

We may be done with Castlevania on our main lineup, but it’s impossible to ignore the fact that we haven’t touched one of its most iconic entries. This bonus episode features our discussion on one of the most famous genre shifts in gaming history, establishing itself as the second half of an entire genre title. It’s really too bad that we’re both just sorta lukewarm on the whole thing. Today on Smashterpieces we’re talking about Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, the first of the franchise to be classified as “Igavania” and the second half of the “Metroidvania” name. How do we feel about comparing this game to the other half, Super Metroid? Why do we feel like this game has such a poor sense of progression? And what are our thoughts on the Inverted Castle? All this and more in today’s bonus episode!We’ll hopefully be back in a few weeks with our episode on Smashterpiece #30: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask, stay tuned!

A shower of beautiful prismatic shards falls down all around us, raining from the heavens in a sparkling display of splendor. Looking around at this wonder of nature, only one thought crosses my mind… We better get under shelter, those things are probably falling at terminal velocity. While we’re there, let’s talk about Kirby! It’s time for Smashterpiece #29: Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, a game where you can turn Kirby into a refrigerator. This fact makes it the greatest game of all time, this is not up for debate. We’re joined by Neal Ronaghan of Nintendo World Report to provide his further knowledge of the Kirby universe and provide a direct comparison to Kirby 64’s predecessor Kirby’s Dream Land 3. What do we think of the copy ability merging powers that this game gives Kirby? What are some of our favorite combos? How good is this game’s soundtrack? Gundam? All that and more in today’s episode!Join us next time when we’re met with a terrible fate in a doomed world in Smashterpiece #30: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask!

We have collected, collected some more, and then collected all over again. The collecting has worked to forge us into higher beings, made powerful by the immense potassium we have ingested that would kill any lesser ape were they to devour the bananas we have endured. Now, in our gluttonous sleep, there is only one question left to ask: how the hell is this one of Joe’s favorite games of all time? That’s right, we’re back with our episode on the infamous Smashterpiece #28: Donkey Kong 64. What are the host’s differing views on this controversial game that ends our time in the 90’s? Why exactly does Joe like this game so much? How are the bosses and the dynamic soundtrack? All this and more in today’s episode!Join us next time when we take off for the stars to collect some shards in Smashterpiece #29: Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards!

Back in the olden days of 2019 we spent about three months both playing Final Fantasy VII, one of the most iconic and influential JRPGs ever made, for the first time. As luck would have it this was done just in time for Square Enix to release the first part of their heavily requested and highly anticipated remake. So how did it turn out? Is it comparable to the original in terms of quality, or should Square not have bothered? What do we think of some of the changes they made? How is everybody’s characterization in comparison to the original? Did the soundtrack meet our high expectations? How about that ending? All that and more in this very special bonus episode!We’ll be back in a few weeks with our regular episode on Donkey Kong 64, see you then!

Pull out your camera, grab a handful of apples, and tune up your poke flute, we’re going on a safari! We’ve finally hit our first trip into the biggest media franchise in existence, even if it happens to be through a spinoff game. It’s time for Smashterpiece #27: Pokemon Snap, a strange little rail shooter where your only real goal is to get the best shot (or a lot of times any shot at all). What do our hosts remember about growing up during the height of Pokemania? Why is this such a bizarre game and where did it even come from? How do they feel about having summoned a sequel after 20 years through their words alone? All that and more in today’s episode!Join us next time when we collect… a lot… of things in Smashterpiece #28: Donkey Kong 64

It’s taken almost two years, but we’ve finally made it into a time period where the reason for the season exists. It’s time for a very special episode about the original Super Smash Bros, the game that started it all. We talk way too long about this game, from its humble 12 character roster, to the lack of side specials, to our fun with the side modes like Break the Targets and Board the Platforms. Not to mention the origin story of the franchise, our favorite stages, the most forgotten original music in the franchise’s 20 year history, we leave no stone unturned!Join us next time as we raise our cameras and try to get the perfect shot in Smashterpiece #27: Pokemon Snap