Superhero Assembly Line

We're all at home, so we wanted to make something a little special. Say hello to a hero from 10-15 million years ago, a completely coincidental donkey and an archeologist searching for the truth. And the reunion you've all been waiting for: Wildboyz. Talking points: Jackass, Steve-O, Bam Margera, donkey sweat, mummies, headassery, quarantine, movies, Blade Runner 2049, Lil B, juggalo culture, Bonus DVDs.

Sometimes to make a oil, you have to break a few reefs. This week, the guys take on Charles Darwin's legacy and an angler fish like no other.

Magic powers from candy? All we get is a tummy ache. This Skittles-branded video game inspires us to create a hero that is up there with the best of them.

From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan comes the sequel to Unbreakable and Split -- Glass! So, we make a superhero that is disgusting and wholly unrelated, and is deeply engrained in the home shopping industry.

The year is 452,018 A.D.Everyone is here! And by everyone, we mean each of the seven deadly sins, the most dangerous assassins on Noah's Ark 2.0.

Ryan doesn't like Pokemon. Seriously, what's up with that?This week, we take the Wikipedia page for the upcoming Detective Pikachu movie and... make something truly horrible out of it. Parks and Rec fans, this one's for you.

There's something spooky about this entire month, and we think it has something to do with the ghouls. Yes, that's right. We got ghouls.

Sew up the pigskin and get ready to play ball, because this week the guys take on Fantasy Football, the original esports. Also, this is the sequel to The Da Vinci Code.

Games, games, games! Nintendo showed their hand last week, and we built a superhero, but you probably expected that. ok bye.

With Danny Boyle out as the director of Bond 25, the guys try and see about shaking the franchise up a little bit... with vampires.

Forget what you learned in history class, *this* is the real story of Napoleon Bonaparte. And Lauren Moore of Funimation joins the show as our first guest!

Move over Jaws, there's a new shark movie in town -- and this one's got Jason Statham. This week, we take on the Wikipedia page for "The Meg" for a brand-new hero.

You've probably heard of the financial woes of MoviePass in the fancy newspapers and such, so we figured we'd take a stab at building a hero from its Wikipedia page. So strap in and check your hype for John Travolta's 'Gotti,' because it's hero time.

This week, we create a hero from the Wikipedia page for a little-known indie title, Fortnite: Battle Royale. We have a feeling this is going to be the next big thing.

That's right, we're back! And this time, we're taking on the 2018 Fifa World Cup, a celebration of a sport that we really don't know anything about it. But rest assured, we do create a superhero.

The coal world churns out another legendary hero to save an even grimmer, darker future, but the real hero is a freakin' rat again. Thanks, Nick. ;) - Nick Talking points: Batman's moral compass, classic film "I Am Robot", open door policies, sexist juggernaut, chappie.

And you thought your high school was cool? Welcome to Silicoal Valley, where your grades depend on how sweet your superpowers are. Also, no one will make you play sports. Talking points: Charles Manson, what The Breakfast Club is about, public school, Captain America, Silicon Valley, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Netflix, Jason Sudeikis, debate about art museums, toward the end we just talk about movies for ten minutes.

We were too tired to make a hero after seeing a late night showing of Thor: Ragnarok. So we made 6. Watch Thor! It's good!

Everyone knows that one person who would sell their grandma to the devil just to be a little bit better at league of legends, right? Well this time is no different at all. That is exactly what happens. Talking Points: Tainted candy, skeletal horses, ants on a log, ganking, corporate greed, CFC's, fallout's currency system.

Rev up your engines I guess for a death race through the desert of Coal World -- and we talk about indestructible dogs again because who wouldn't want those? Talking points: restaurants, Honda Civic, death races, Top Gear, Jake plays himself, metal, ice cream, Ryan plays himself, indestructible dogs (again)

You'd better get ready to hang ten or this hero will make you choke, and no amount of espresso can save you. We promise they're a hero tho...for sure. Blade Runner, snakes, Skyline, dog racing, stalefish, football, Dragon Wars.

This fancy hero goes up against an old friend in the only way they know how: a gruesome game of chess. Talking Points: Biological apps, rat heaven, Jack the Ripper, grocery cart demons.

A team of special operative animals take part in a secret government program to get incredible abilities. Their leader? The last animal you’d expect. Or, to be honest, probably the first. Seriously, what’s the first animal that comes to mind? Talking points: gummy worms, Frosted Flakes, super soldier serum, the definition of ‘sentient’, Napoleon Dynamite meets Zoids, Bizmarkie, Toys ‘R’ Us, The Room, Alex Jones

A vastly powerful weapon is bestowed upon this high-rise dwelling hero, far above the dunes of wood and steel that litter their glum municipality. There's guns in this one! Talking Points: Rifles, Drag City, Airzooka, Lightning, car chase, Just Cause, exosuits.

What really happens when you put metal in the microwave? Magical, friendly demons apparently. This hero hated the Transformers movies! Talking points: Infrared, Megatron, Subway, rapport.

Welcome to the Coal World, where humans live in a world ravaged by an energy disaster. Fortunately, one hero can summon a horde of rag-dolling elks to take on poachers with extensive knowledge of 2009’s hit game, Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Talking points: Superpowers, Santa Clause, One Piece, coal pollution, Chalk Zone, Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, saltwater taffy, Courage The Cowardly Dog

The end of year one is here as we embark on a new plan for Superhero Assembly Line. Prepare yourself for Epi-Pen's final stand.

Everyone's favorite guy-who-was-held-in-epipen's-lungs-for-an-entire-episode finally gets the honor he deserves. A death battle with an alternate reality version of himself! Talking Points: Lin-Manuel Miranda, Stoge Vs Stogie, Ruggles

Scientists say sharks are not nearly as aggressive as they are often portrayed. Yeah, tell that to Shamray and his buddy Billson the stingray. Together, they've got the power to clean up any urchin that stands in their way. Talking points: Dunkirk Pikachu, Benjamin Franklin, Vince with Shamwow, sea urchins, shark blood, rat-shark, Mojo.

A Manhattan-based hero with a knack for transforming into a battleship comes face to face with the crude truth of bay-faring pirates. Yeah, we don’t really get it either. Talking points: New kittens, Shrek, battleships, probation, Rihanna, oil rigs, Dishonored, fishing boats, pirates, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia references

This week, we assemble a team the world deserves -- but definitely not the one it needs. Everyone's favorite Epinephrine-based hero uses the only selection method ~we~ know to pick his team: randomization. Talking points: Andre 3000, Dream Daddy, billiards, Magic 8 Ball, commentating, climbing mountains.

She's slick, she's stealthy, she's...got a plinth? Be it by numbers or sheer force of liberty, The Reductress must vanquish Earth's ultimate symbol of peace -- for good. Talking points: Lady Liberty, kaiju, Chappie, Space Lobster, Space Hamster, football, Pacific Rim, hand-braking, Skull.

We're back! After a weeklong hiatus, we're bringing you the best, the brightest, the fiercest minor league NBA mascot this side of hell. And there's bugs and stuff. Talking points: San Diego Comic Con, Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds, minor league basketball, beetle interruption, carbon fiber, depictions of the devil in the Marvel Universe, Macklemore

Cataracts? No problem. When these two complete strangers come together in the weirdest of ways, things get deep. Talking points: Lifeguarding, Independence Day, Firestorm, angler fish

You think the Green Bay Packers are a big deal? Just wait 'til you get a load of this hero -- or a whiff, if you prefer. Talking points: Wisconsin, cheese, Brett Favre, Nosferatu, Razor scooters

The one, true successor to James Bond has a candy shell, a litttttle bit of chocolate and a whole lotta heart. Also, Ryan forgets the name of obscure YouTube sensation Chuck Testa. Talking points: E3 wrap-up, M&M flavors, James Bond lore, Chuck Testa, Antarctica, bad taxidermy

We think, in this episode, we really created a work of art. It's a shame what happened to her afterwards... Talking Points: Paint Rat, hot bread, E3, Dissipate, Chalk Zone, The Toonverse, art.

Escargot? More like escar-no. This "middle-aged" hero gets a mouth full of snails in everyone's favorite E. Coli-infested lake and faces off against an avid tabloid reader. Talking points: space lobsters, fake news, botched bingo, Patrick Bateman, Us Weekly.

When a boy band is gifted powers after a close-call at the amusement park, all bets are off -- and the tour is on. Talking points: The Wonderful 101, The Lonely Island, Human Centipede, sentient tour buses, opening acts, rats, Twisted Sister

Latidude takes the power to control earth to new heights, and she knows about Pangaea! Plus, find out what the boys do when a "Randomize it!" turns up an actual superhero. Talking Points: crocodiles, Christian Rock, dinosaurs, the ghost of Charles Darwin.

After ending the life of a beloved male pornstar, our hero goes on a revenge quest to destroy the world's scummiest hackers. She only has one question: "What's the Wi-Fi password here?" Talking Points: Escape rooms, real fake doors, blackmail, O.J., trash compactors.

You know what they say, rub some dirt on it! Or in this case, some... sewage? This week's hero takes to the underground to avoid taxes and protect his realm. Talking points: ​Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, sewage monsters, 4K TVs, tax evasion, G-Force, Injustice: Gods Among Us

You're sure to get a kick out of this hero, just don't call him a weenie. Behold as Killbossa ascends the ranks of a galactic arena with only one rule: don't get eaten! Talking Points: condiments, The Payoff 2.0, pickles, Chinese finger traps, smizing, Bane

The Earth's most-beloved hero is in for the shock of his life when he finds out who's really behind all those puppy mills he swore to destroy. Or, you know, maybe it was when he accidentally got euthanized. Talking Points: jenkem, I Am Legend, wolf attacks, "Deep Throat," grocery store discounts, veterinarians

Weed culture can be complicated -- we guess. This hero has what it takes to hang with the best, protect his blood and win in court. Oh, and a special fourth host makes a brief appearance. Talking points: Fate of the Furious, The Office, Jake's coughing, The Chainsmokers, Blue Angels

Ever feel like you're allergic to people? This hero feels like that all the time! Pop a Benadryl as Grasstronaut enlists the help of a tiny, if not a little lewd, seedling to destroy the irritable patriarchy from which she came. Talking points: Eric Andre, Andre 3000, milk jugs, allergies, post-apocalyptic societies, peanut, Thor

A college loser finally finds her one true love: a dope mirror. For some reason, it's in a combination art/history museum. Oh, and there are gold-vision powers in this one. Definitely gold-vision. Talking points: Spider bodies, fedoras, planetary annihilation, regular names.

A sorcerer specializing in accidental black magic gets his chance to shine on Extreme Home Makeover: Russia. Meanwhile, someone tosses Satan a bone. Talking points: Alanis Morissette, cocker spaniels, Wal-Mart proprietary media, The Legend of Zelda, Putin's middle name

Two SAL juggernauts join forces to unintentionally create a beastly abomination. It's amazing what one can do in a cave -- with a bunch of scraps. Talking points: guano, stem cells, fourth-wall breaking, Doctor Octopus, bats, the Ped Egg.

There are absolutely no problems with this episode. If there were to be, for example, a tremendous audio quality drop while listening to this particular SAL episode, it is definitely a computer issue on your end and totally not a fault of our own. Enjoy! Talking Points: Coleslaw, Filthy EDM drops, Zorbing, The movie "Holes", and Catwoman's devastatingly bad basketball scene.

Our hottest hero yet goes deep to uncover hidden truths of the Earth, enlisting the help of a brand new service from Uber. Talking points: Battleship drifting, flat earth theory, B.o.B., E-40, Firetrucks, Pizza Hut, Sphincters.