Exploring the unique role of stepdads, stepfathers, and bonus dads and how to apply performance psychology skills to become a better father figure and role model. Building a band of brothers by focusing on empathy and accountability.
Intended to be a short explaination of my absence, episode 60 turned into 25 minutes of me exploring and explaining where my mind has been for three months concerning the present and future of Champion Stepdad.
Caring is displaying kindness and concern for others. Caring conveys they are loved. If you want to care for your family, If you want to give them your best, You have to care for yourself.
A communicator is a person who is able to express or exchange information, news, or ideas. Traits of an effective communicator -Clear -Confident -Courteous Be confident in yourself Be confident in your relationship Be a confident communicator
Your ability to be consistent will not only show your children love and compassion, it will also enable their natural development to occur. #championstepdad
Character is the collection of traits and qualities which make you distinct from others. It's mental and moral qualities. Character is not reflected by your intentions. It is reflected by your actions. Know who you want to be and intentionally develop yourself. Only then will you be a position to show character for parenting effectiveness. #championstepdad
As a parent, and especially as a stepdad, I have found many comparable traits between effective sports coaching and effective parenting. 7 Components of parenting credibility: Character, consistent, communicator, caring, competent, committed, and confidence builder. #championstepdad
Control is your ability to change the circumstances of a situation or focus your energy and attention. The more you feel you have some sense of input and choice. Even if it's only over your own actions and behaviors, the better your choices and decisions will be. Energy and attention are strongly connected because your energy flows where your attention goes. Much like money, you only have so much to spend so spend it where it will make the biggest impact. #championstepdad
Coping is your ability to deal with and attempt to overcome problems or difficulties Coping strategies are used during stress, adversity, or trauma. They help manage painful or difficult emotions, help you adjust to stressful events, and help you maintain emotional well-being. They can be productive or counterproductive.
Contribution is the part played by a person in bringing about a result or helping something to advance. You make your home and community better by contributing your knowledge, skills, and abilities. Giving for the benefit of yourself and others.
Character is the collection of traits and qualities which make you distinct from others. It's mental and moral qualities. As it relates to resilience, character is the proactive vision of yourself which requires predetermined outward behaviors and actions which demonstrate this vision.
Connection is a sense of belonging within the many communities you interact. The more connection you feel, the more you feel safe and supported. Safety in a relationship encourages you, your spouse, and your children/stepchildren to share thoughts and feelings.
Competence is belief and trust in your knowledge, skills, and abilities. Confidence is belief you achieve a goal or perform at a certain level. However, completion of the goal or performing a certain standard is dependent upon competence. #championstepdad
Today begins a 14-week dive into Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg's 7 Cs of resilience and the mental performance community's adaptation, the 7 Cs of coaching credibility. These components can help you and your children build resilience to grow and thrive through stress and adversity while enjoying your best life. #championstepdad
First day back since deciding to take a Christmas break. A couple weeks turned into a couple months. Welcome Back!
Gramps Jeffrey is the author of the children's book “I don't want to turn 3” Gramps Jeffrey (Marc Joseph) “Baby Boomer Grandfather understands parents and grandchildren in today's ever-changing world and his children's book reflects their angst.” Discover More https://grampsjeffrey.com/ https://idontwanttoturn3.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcjoseph/
Chris Kilworth is the host of Between The Mountains, an adventure Travel Podcast. He's also a father who uses adventure to connect with his daughter. https://betweenthemountains.org/
Jed Shaffer, host of The Gamer Parents Strategy Guide podcast, has been a gamer for 40 years, married for 18 years, and a parent for 15 years. He has three boys -- twin 15-year-olds (one with special needs) and a 9-year-old, and they're all gamers too. https://twitter.com/GPSGPodcast https://www.facebook.com/GamerParentsStrategyGuide
Tim McCarthy is the author of Raising 4-Dimensional Children in a 2-Dimensional World, a book about Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual education. He has a Master's Degree in Education and a Grandmaster rank in the martial arts which he has combined into a simple plan for the developmentally-appropriate education of children. www.4d-2d.com
Dr. Tim Jordan is a Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician focused on helping girls and young women become strong leaders and their best selves. www.drtimjordan.com/ Host of Raising Daughters Podcast Author of She Leads - A Practical Guide for Raising Daughters Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead
Jen & Cody host the Unqualified Parenting Podcast, a blended family podcast, discussing the ins and outs of parenting, stepparenting, and navigating the tumultuous relationships that come with being blended. https://unqualifiedparenting.com/
Nick Cardarelli is the host of the Raised on DND podcast. He's been a gamer for over 30 years and has used table top and role-playing games to connect and bond with his children. https://raisedondnd.com/ https://lakeland-rpg.com/
Shaun Banks is the creator of Atlanta-based Camp Warrior King and the You Can Have It All youth conferences. Shaun also created Team HoTT SAWCE cartoon characters who teach children how to believe in themselves using fundamental personal development principles. He authored three books: Persevere Overcome Win, Raising Extraordinary Kids, and Be Unstoppable Living Life. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaun-banks-75a19148/ You Can Have It All: https://www.ychiamag.com/ Camp Warrior King: https://www.campwarriorking.com/
Studies have shown your expressions of anger, even when directed at inanimate objects, do not make you less angry. Instead, they increase anger.
The first step towards education is admitting your ignorance. If you're so damn stubborn you refuse to have a conversation based on scientific research about the biological makeup of the human body and brain, you will continue to make excuses, point the finger, and wonder why everyone else is so broken. Don't be that guy!
The relationship between a stepdad and a biological dad can be everything from friendly or friends to the other extreme of despise or outright sabotage. "The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Captain Jack sparrow. For every problem you face, there is an action or behavior within your control. If you place blame and point fingers, you are missing an opportunity to give your attention to a solution that lies within you.
First, decide the person you want to be and the life you want to live. Then ensure your habits (outward display of proactive decisions) support the characteristics of the person you want to be. Champion Stepdad Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/championstepdad #championstepdad www.championstepdad.com
Empower your motivation and passion within a process for more effective accountability. Champion Stepdad Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/championstepdad #championstepdad www.championstepdad.com
James Golden joins me again, this time to talk about being loving, compassionate, and connected is part of being a masculine father. www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad
Being masculine includes being loving, connected, and emotionally available. Don't try to fill the void left by others. Just be the best version of yourself. www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad
Consistency is greater than massive action. www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad
Today I learned a lesson about letting children talk and express their thoughts and emotions before trying to teach them a lesson. www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad
For those of you looking for more detailed attention, who want more in-depth skill-based development, connection, and accountability, Champion Stepdad Society, is ready for you! www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Everything you do you get better at. The more you react defensively and justify your behavior, the more your brain will subconsciously allow and encourage this behavior. Differentiate between reacting and responding.
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Thinking traps are overly rigid patterns in thinking causing you to miss critical information about a situation or individual. They are common and we all fall victim to them occasionally.
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Ian Kaye discusses Neuro Linguistic Programming and how we use thoughts and beliefs to make sense of our experiences. www.facebook.com/ian.kaye1 NLP Impact www.facebook.com/nlpimpact
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Are your kids interrupting your business, or is your business interrupting your kids?
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Act and talk as if you were being watched by someone from your band of brothers. Would you be proud of your behavior?
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Situational awareness helps you remain continuously aware of your surroundings. Internal awareness helps you check your internal temperature and become more aware of your emotional state. Don't wait for adversity to smack you in the face. Correcting course is best achieved day by day, moment by moment.
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Steve Carr is the Director of Mindcanyon – an UK organization encouraging mental health in your workplace. He is a Mental health first aid, Workplace well-being, and Suicide first aid trainer. https://www.linkedin.com/in/steve-m-carr/ www.mindcanyon.co.uk
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Michael Larson is a parent, teen, and family counselor. As a dad, step-dad, and formerly a foster-parent, he is on a mission to help you create a healthy home with tools and skills effective for healthy parenting. His FB group is called Empowered Parenting: Creating a Healthy Parent-Child Relationship www.mylifeupgrade.ca
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Shaun O'Gorman is a former Australian police officer who struggled with PTSD, suicidal tendencies, and unhealthy behaviors before taking control of his life. I encourage you to subscribe The Strong Life Project podcast. It is one of my daily listens! Shaun also has a free video series called Strong Foundations For A Strong Life which walks you through 6 key foundations that will give you the energy and focus to do the work to create an amazing life. Registration is on his website at http://www.thestronglifeproject.com His book, “My Dark Companion,” shares his journey from his darkest days to the life he's living today – one filled with positive relationships, vital health, and a purposeful career. This book is not just a story, it is filled with lessons on how to live a great life. http://www.thestronglifeproject.com/books/
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad One of the responses I received from the community is to give examples of specific scenarios and what to do about them. This episode breaks down a scenario between a couple experiencing extreme stress and helps you remain focused on where you have control: What is within your control? You! - Your thoughts - Your behaviors - Your emotions
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad James Golden participated in the group conversation from episode 3. He is married with 3 kids and 2 stepkids, and resides in Heath, OH. (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1428749983992884/user/1056003421/) The Goalden Collective (Facebook group and YouTube channel) is dedicated to goal-oriented, high-performers that live by the Golden Rule. (https://www.facebook.com/groups/thegoaldencollective)
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad The key concepts of behavior modification are: -adding or subtracting -reinforcement or punishment The most effective is positive reinforcement. Additional commentary: -Don't hit kids. It's ineffective and counterproductive -Catch your kids being good -Reward good behavior
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Matt Storm shares his experience as a child of divorce. He talks about his male role models and the power of being a role model for others. He also touches on understanding what you bring into a relationship - the good and the challenges. You can call it baggage. It's your life experiences and you become a better partner, parent, and role model when you are willing to take a critical look at yourself and work to reinforce good attributes while relearning counterproductive behaviors. Matt is very active on Clubhouse where he created a group called “Are you man enough?” as space to discuss issues related to being a great man.
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Mental health, self-awareness, and accountability are not meant to restrict how you think and feel. Deliberately processing your thoughts and feelings leads to mental toughness, resilience, and optimal performance.
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Champion Stepdad is founded on empathy and accountability. But the catalyst is performance psychology. High-pressure environments with consequences for performance require strong mental skills. Skills to propel your performance from good to great. Elite level performance. Optimal performance in every area of your life. Challenging you to become an elite-level stepdad. A Champion Stepdad!
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad What does it mean to be triggered? Champion Stepdad Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/championstepdad Join the group and build your band of brothers! Host: Neil Wattier 16-year stepdad Resilience trainer and Performance Consultant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mentalcoachneil Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neilwattier/ Instagram: @mentalcoachneil (https://www.instagram.com/mentalcoachneil)
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Our role as stepdad is to be a father figure and mentor. The goal is to help raise and influence children to be productive adults. If you are focused primarily on how to get your children to obey your rules and standards, you will miss opportunities to teach them skills.
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Nicola Graham shares her experience blending a family and her expertise as a Trauma Aware Parent Coach. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nicolagrahams/ Mike Higgins was raised by a stepdad and is now part of a blended family. He contributes to the Front Row Dads community. Instagram @m1kehiggins; Clubhouse @mikehiggins
www.championstepdad.com #championstepdad Discipline means to study, learn, train, and apply standards. To discipline our biological and stepchildren is to instruct and guide them concerning behavior, actions, standards, morals, ethics, and beliefs. Discipline is not punishment.