ChongaTron

Introducing Nicholas J. Kerr.Let's here it for Rat gettin mesmerized by a lanyard between some big swangin' nurse titties. Them titties had homey cluckin like a chicken when he opened his eyes and shit dawg. These titties deserve our support and respect as they're first responder titties. Holly's titties said Let's Snuggle written on them during the podcast. Sorry dawg, all I can remember about this episode are titties.

The gang gets drunk and records an episode with Brandon. We all just wanted to burp into you, our listeners ears, Dan later puked vodka and cranberry into a living room trash can around midnight. Holly, who is a mean nasty drunk, strikes Dan in this episode for asking who she voted for. Special guest is Ashley Joe Meeker who runs a hardcore indie backyard alternative to highschool football.

Edgar is back to remind you why you prefer him when he isn't around. Holly's Election Night War of the World's. Questions from the sex ed class. Edgar's back. Edgar and Rat prove they are not in fact, the same person by interacting after 52 episodes. Edgar compares himself to that gay guy on Netflix. Escape Room End Boss Domantas Vorga is our guest. Dan is under the delusion that he is a black man. Dan talks more about killing himself. Holly does a reddit. Rat and Edgar tell stories about drinking and behaving as beasts, you know, the usual. Holly's War of the Worlds concludes. 

Chongatron unveils Jim America and his plan for the election. We take to task how evil and racist many songs from our past are since we are unable to handle the uses and misuses of history. We take apart Danny Kaye and the Andrews Sister's Civilization, the film Platform, and Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen. We blow UPS drivers for black market vanilla beans and Rat teaches us about being an afficionado of car washes, sluts, and car wash sluts. Danny and Holly smoke dabs throughout the episode and can't tell if it's funny or not because we were too high. Holly ends up screaming Limp Bizkit lyrics at Dan while eating coconut cream from the bottle.chongatronpodcast@gmail.com@chongatron on Twitterr/chongatron on reddit

Is this the end? What should we do? Are we being pussies?Talk to us at chongatronpodcast@gmail.com or @chongatron on TwitterFinally, the finale of the Darryl and Darryl saga.

In Edgar's absence we've reached out to his arch nemesis, Jay, who is even more of a real life murder hobo than Edgar was.Jay recently blew out his asshole. Holly get's visited by the archangel Uriel who deigns her the one who will save all of creation, but he had no further information. Allegedly. I haven't heard the episode and don't believe her. Dan does Dan things like complain and do Doctor Cocknballs bits about service industry animals. Rat sits at the back of the class and casts buffs for all of us so we can stand tall in battle. I'm hastened and blessed right now. It's pretty sweet. My dick grew about two inches.chongatronpodcast@gmail.com@chongatron on Twitter

Involunatary brain surgery can't kill us. Mental wards can't kill us. My wife who now hates me can't kill us. Chonga por vida holmes. Dontchu know I'm loco? Inner City Sex Ed. Greg Miller's show and tell about his magnificent penis of tomorrow. Wings of Redemption. Holly's pussy is bleeding. Bible Study Hour. Dan gets MK Ultra'd by booger and semen eating fan of the podcast. Depends Magnum. Nexium. Dan's story about beating four counts of assault with a deadly weapon on the stand your ground law.Daryl and Daryl try to make a skin suit, buy minithins and then tar themeselves to infiltrate BLM. Cuties. Jason Bermas did 911. Miss Olajimbo explains to Emporer Rat Bastard that he is too fat to fly.

The N-Word is the shredded cheddar cheese of words. Yes, it's bad for your health, bad for your soul, bad for your karma. But life is so bland without the N-word. This podcast, unfortunately, doesn't contain the N-word. So expect it to taste bland like a baked potato covered only in butter and salt. We recommend that our listeners punctuate the comedy of this podcast by saying the N-Word themselves, whenever you, the listener deem it to be appropriate.Today's Chongatron follows the adventures of Daryl, a methed out West Virginian hunter, and Daryl, a talking cartoon armadillo drug hallucination. Listen as they hatch a plan to combat Black Lives Matter, before the rioters reach his rural trailer park. Also in this episode, Sex Ed Class, Breast Cancer Awareness, and Tom Hanks conspiracies.

Copyright disclaimer - Section 107 of the 1976 Copyright Act allows for fair use for the purposes of criticism or comment or farce. Bubblewrap ASMR. Rat's words for advice for young people about drinking mouthwash. Gay Fallout sketch. Dan demands his cohosts play him to the mic. Kyle Rittenhouse Robotron. A brief history of western literature. A whole bunch of repetative back in the day reminiscing and bullshit. Holly's Hee Haw Joke.Contains samplessourced from Reading Rainbow and Fallout.Chongatronpodcast@gmail.com@chongatron on Twitter  

The goddamn mayor's on my ass Callahan. You've gone and done it. Let's see. Last night you crashed the Goodyear Blimp into the Meadowlands Stadium during a Jet's playoff game, you performed Lingchi on a person of interest in a counterfitting case and that was played on the Jumbotron, and you handcuffed the wheelchair of a perp to your patrol car, the same perp you crippled last month, for lets see, failure to yield to a yellow light. So just what do you have to say for yourself Harry?Harry Callahan - "Well sargent, I'd beat him until he pissed himself and I didn't want the back of the squad car to smell... Sigh. Badge and gun?"Yes. Leave your badge and gun.Contact us at:chongatronpodcast@gmail.com@chongatron on TwitterCashapp: hp4420

Dan brands Holly. Rat brands Dan. Cowboy Dan by Modest Mouse. False start. Magical homeless black man shares his wisdom. Holly talks about dehumanization. Rat talks about pedos. Downs Syndrome Donny kills himself during a masturbation accident at his job, unloading trucks for Paulie's Italian Meat Market. Paulie and the paizons craft a business venture to sell velcro belts to the mentally challenged. Morgan Freeman narrates an outro as the gang descends into madness.@chongatron on Twitterchongatronpodcast@gmail.com

Chongatron has come to terms with the release of Edgar. We wish him best of luck in all his future endeavors, unless his future endeavors involve violence. Actually we are building a wall around the great land of Chonga to keep Edgar out.This episode was recorded on Skype, with shitty equipment, in an effort to record our weekly podcast at the last minute.Features Emperor Rat Bastard.Contact us:@chongatron on Twitterchongatronpodcast@gmail.com

Officer Denny McDoodle stops by to talk about selling the world's largest collection of RIP tribute shirts he bought from hood thrift stores. The proceeds go to rebuilding the Portland Fraternal Order of Police lodge.Then we reveal the final Joker card. We pull back the curtain in a Russo-era swerve and shoot on the death of George Floyd. This turns us babyface forever and makes us woke protecting us from the neoliberal stormtroopers. We will be launching our patreon soon, so you can give us 50 thousand dollars a month, now that our jokes are acceptible because we were actually woke socialists this whole time, and not cynical sociopaths. Just listen to the nothing we give you. Cry at the beauty of silence. chongatronpodcast@gmail.com@chongatron on twittercashapp: hp4420

We satirize the alt right while trying to piss off the woke left. Holly is tricked into buying cum and blood perfume by some gay nazi's podcast. As an act of revenge we figure out how to launch a movie review and perfume that caters to the chinese market. Holly does a Real American Corner about a black drag queen we knew who cannibalized his grandmother. Dan does a Real American corner about his former bandmate who went from a millionaire's son, to a closeted bisexual, to a rapper, to a pedophile, to a coke head, to a failed stand up, to a junkie, and now he is a white supremacist blogger. Edgar doesn't say much because Dan is manic and won't shut the fuck up. It's a bad podcast for stupid assholes.Contact us @chongatron on Twitter or chongatronpodcast@gmail.com

Forget cancel culture. Long live Cankle Couture, Chongatron's official clothing line for ugly mean spirited fat white women with no sense of humor, and far too much agency. Cankle Couture- because you need to look good when you're throwing a fit on Twitter, or complaining to the Starbuck's manager that they're out of cake pops.chongatronpodcast@gmail.com@chongatron on Twitter

Title says it all.. chongatronpodcast@gmail.com@chongatron on Twitter

AKA Big Saint Lolitas: A Gentlemen's Club Experience, featuring Rufus T. Firefly.

Introducing Diesel Skywalker as "DJ Jizzy-Jit"!!

Miss Holly answers questions from inner city youths about the death of George Floyd and the riots. Dan licks the boots of anyone who can protect him from the bands of maurading African Americans and Edgar gets Dollar Store pussy.

This week we are joined again by an alcoholic antifa terrorist and crazed convicted murderer named Brandon. Holly and Dan were stuck in a car with this madman for over ten hours, thirsty for bourbon and the blood of the innocent. He has taken the Chongatron gang hostage and is forcing us to take drugs. Against our will. We tried to say no, but he hit us and stuff. He tried to bite Edgar's butt.

Who is Kevin Usher?

Holly takes the reigns in this, the double-triple episode.

We are so big, we are releasing a clip episode from various episodes that were deemed "unfit to air" by HR.01-2020 - H.R. and Holly attempt to replace Edgar and Dan with two random guys that answered an ad on craigslist named Quiff and Clint. A confrontation between Dan and his new replacements ensues.03-2020 - Emperor Rat Bastard melts down over restaraunts shutting down during the pandemic.04-2020 - Dan gives Rat unsolicited advice to fix his depression as a self help guru.05 - 2019 - The ending of our first episode, recorded onto Edgar's phone, at his noisy Mexican house full of 37 relatives and a dozen large dogs, maybe he's got a chicken or two running around his garage, cartel guys coming and going. More advertisements from fake Italian buisnesses.

Holly uncovers breaking news about the relationship between Kim Jong Un and Kim Yo Jong. Dan becomes a doomsday prepper and Edgar is gay.

Come on down lil buckaroos for another episode of Uncle Dan's Dude Ranch, Today Karen the Clydesdale and Cowboy Dan teach children how to deal with pesky swarthy strangers walking on your homestead. Somehow the episode turns into ten solid minutes of a woman loudly queefing.

More of the same.

Features - Edgar is a creepy sex hobo, Germany turns the world into sausage, Gay Asian Tupac, Wrestlemania as the Masque of Red Death, Butt Genies, The game "Say a number,"  Karen as the new N Word for white women, Doctor Cocknballs the Erotic Organ Grinder, Pete Zepasta's Pepperoni Playhouse, and Dick Justice: Sex Detective is hired by a man who is being cucked by a midget pretending to be his son.

Tom Cruise Booze Cruise. John Holmes VHS Nightdrive By Perturbator. Scientology Awards Ceremony. How many children can you kill in a deathmatch? Midget Deathmatches. Hobo Lice Fights. Midget Mafia. Gay Mafia. Lisa Frank Nightmare. Another visit from Doctor Cocknballs the Erotic Sea Org Deckhand and Erotic Cryptid Hunter.  Happy Harry Hard-On's Hazmat Whores. Billy Bob Boston's Boys in Bubbles. Edgar turns into a weeaboo. Holly wants everyone to commit suicide. Pauley Porticini's Drive thru Suicide Parlor. Edgar infects us with the Corona Virus. Dan solicits the audience to be his JO Buddy. The gang discusses scissoring. Edgars Mom is gang affiliated because she's Mexican and his dad sold cocaine. Edgar starts talking about train riders he knew because he's drunk on cheap boxes of white zinfindel. Dan's idea for a novel where he admits to a series of unsolved crimes he didn't actually commit. Edgar hates Brandon for being a cuck. Dan and Holly cut a wrestling promo on Brandon. Brandon's feet look like red onions someone took a cheese grater to and they smell like limburgher. Dan finds a way to get away with saying the n-word by quoting racists to show how racist they are. I Found that Essence Rare by Gang of Four. Brandon responds to Edgar. Advice to Redditors.

Newscaster pandemic sketch. Commercials - Greg Ghiradelli's Gadfly Guy's Grill and Postmates Plague Doctor Masks. The End of Radio by Shellac. Dan and Edgar join the mauraders. A demon convinces drunk Edgar that he will shit fabulous jewels. 10 vs 10 State by State Kumite Tournament. Due to social distancing we have nothing to talk about but Netflix documentaries. Advice to redditors. How will the world end? Holly and Edgar interview Dr. Cocknballs the Erotic Big Game Hunter. Virus (Instrumental) by Deltron 3030.

This one is pretty gay, even though it's our 25th episode.

Our employers Gary Carlton and Anika Olajimbo hired a man to replace Edgar, named "Better Edgar." When he joins Dan and Holly his true identity is revealed as the God Emperor Rat Bastard, who disguised himself in a sombrero and pancho. Rat has returned to seek vengence. By the God Emperor's decree, ChongaTron's format is changed to a comedic advice show... Even though Rat wants to castrate Dan, the gang agrees he is still better than Edgar.Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research. Any depiction of a person or intellectual property used is either incidental or done for the purposes of parody.

This is some embarassing shit that we don't condone or excuse. Sucks to be Holly right now. Somebody goes to jail for real this time boys.Let us know what you think.chongatronpodcast@gmail.comTwitter: @chongatron

Dan and Holly hold an intervention for Edgar about his obsession with bad word. wrong-think no-no talk.Then Edgar accidentally invokes the name of Rat Bastard. Who rises from the dead in search of vengence on all of Chonga.

In this episode of Chongatron, Dan and Holly are joined by a special guest. Today we talked with a deeply closeted homosexual man who is married, with kids. Listen to him explain the toll it takes on a man's soul to live a lie. Hear his stories of lying and hiding his true self away from his wife and children. Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to this week's guest, Edgar.

Things reach a dramatic turning point when Dan forces Edgar to record the podcast at gunpoint. He's unclear on who his real family is, and where his priorities lie. He needs a readjustment before full measures have to be taken. A final solution to our problems is always on the table. No loose ends. ChongaTron declares a gang war on other local podcasts. Holly and Edgar share their lucid sex dreams, which includes one of them running from a murderer and the other being Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. The Video Vigilante can suck Dan's dick for $20. The group discuss how Holly's big vagina compares to Elon Musk's colonization of space, and James Cameron's bathyscape adventures. Includes paid promotion from fake Italian businesses.

Yo dawg. The peeps chug 40s of OE and Coors and babble incoherently about pulling jack moves on some mark ass busters. Checkin fools street cred. YOLO style. That's the cool lingo now days, right? I'm just like you, my fellow high schoolers, just a hep cat trying to score some diggity dank reefers. Just another gangsta tryin to chillaxe with my homey and my bae. It gets real beefy on this episode you little pissbitch.After the episode Edgar stumbled into the middle of our street and pissed in front of our neighbors.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

Once upon a Christmas Eve, lil seven year old Danny passed out on the couch, waiting for Santa. But Danny had a plan. He'd taken a butcher knife from the kitchen of his new step father's mother's house, hiding it under the couch for when the house was invaded by a foreign entity with godlike powers. If Santa was real, Danny didn't like the surveilance. He didn't appreciate home invasions, and he'd heard if a stranger breaks into your house, then killing them is not legally murder. So when Santa came down the chimney, he'd get stuck until he dropped, and Dan would be made for life. He'd gain enough money from selling Santa's toys to buy a small country. When his step father's dad walked in and placed presents around the tree, Danny pretended to sleep, and one single tear rolled down his little cheek, as he knew he was cursed to live of relative poverty, and obscurity in a world that he despised. He knew from that day forward that the American dream, of striking it rich while doing very little was a lie.When lil Danny's new Grandmother found the knife under the couch at the next family get together, she mentioned this to him. She said she wouldn't dare even speak of what she found under her couch. He denied everything. It's no wonder she never liked him.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420 

Hey there Vern. It's me, Edgar. Edgar P. Worrell: Electroman. Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

This one is tight as fuck...It's the one with the Ed Talks bit, which is Ted Talks for the differently abled.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420 

But the s is a dollar sign, for all the money this sequel will make.Starring: Dan and Holly. Introducing Brandon.This week stars Brandon, a cold blooded alcoholic murderer. Listen as he recounts in gristly details his lust for killing anyone unlucky enough to share his name.Can Dan and Holly survive 80 minutes alone with this monster?Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

MORE THAN 150 MILLION COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE Look for Holly's passionate new love story, Chongatron: Dark Fate, available now.When literature student Edgar goes to interview young entrepreneur Dan, he encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Edgar is startled to realize he wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds he is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Edgar's quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Dan admits he wants him, too—but on his own terms. Shocked yet thrilled by Dan's singular erotic tastes, Edgar, the dumb beaner, hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Dan is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Edgar discovers Danny's secrets and explores his own dark desires.This book is intended for mature audiences.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420 

We were gone. Two of us were in New Orleans. One of us was in the hospital. The other one was a drunk lazy Mexican. But we're back.Our mothers couldn't kill us. Our father's couldn't kill us. Our own hearts couldn't kill us. None of you fuckers could kill us. Not for lack of trying though. Chongatron is immortal. Chongatron is gay. Chongatron in eternal. Chongatron is forever. Long live Chongatron.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

Straight up loc'd down OG, get off my dick this is gangsta crip, West Side, bout to pull a hoo-ride and be wanted for a homicide.The gang is back from Long Beach, where they joined the rollin 20s, a set of the LBC. A horrible tragedy occurs, resulting in the death of God Emperor Rat Bastard, so I heard, we weren't there or involved or anything, and our heart and prayers go out to his family. This episode is dedicated to his memory, and is a celebration of his life.Topics include - The life of a westcoast gangsta. Doin hoodrat shit with our cousins. Crimes, heists and schemes to get out of this ghetto trap.  Playing house with inner city black school children. Nigerian women's thoughts on American race relations. Advice for dealing with police officers. A Real American Corner about Jamaican Karate Instructor named Anubis who taught classes from a temple to Egyptian gods.  And crack based dieting tips.RIP "Rat Bastard"  born 1988 died 2019.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

Starring Dan as himself, Dan as Holly and Dan as Edgar in an acting tour-de-force remnicient of Eddie Murphy. Written by Dan. Directed by Dan. Audio Engineered by Dan. Recorded by Dan. Produced by Garrett Carlton. Dialogue Coached by Dan. Key Gripped by Dan. Best Boy is Dan. Better Boy is Dan. Good Boy is Dan. Casting by Dan. Costuming by Dan.Featuring Dan's special guest Emperor Rat Bastard.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

Edgar was busy, so we decided another guest would be cool. And who else, but the infamous Amanda? It's ladies night tonight ya'll. See Holly and Amanda geek out with each other as always. You'll soon hate to love us both. A friendship made in heaven, or maybe Taco Bell... Follow us on Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comcashapp: hp4420 

Emperor Rat Bastard sends Holly to fight in the gladiator pits, for the glory of Chonga, as Edgar and Daniel forced to act as geishas for Japanese Businessmen. Will Holly succeed and become champion of the arena? Winning means a free vacation to Long Beach California to feast on gelato, and losing is certain death.Who will survive? Find out this Chongatron Time, this Chongatron Episode.Featuring,  A Meeting With Human Resources, Terrence Howard's Math Knowledge, Urine, MC Smelly Smell and Cockmaster Flash, Scietific Papers on Penis Length, A P.E. Coach Who Cares, and a story about a tragic family.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

Hey, we're gay, and we hear voices, and Edgar won't stop talking about his damn rapey fantasies. We realized we are living in 70 AD as gnostic rebels. Being too high can make girls sound really dumb. Woke Stone Cold shows up for a refreshing La Croix. God Emperor Rat Bastards' reign of terror continues.....but for how long? Tune in next week....Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

All Hail Rat Bastard. The Rat is Holy. The Penis is Evil. We are Rat.Our management forces us to say that. We are contractually obligated to say that. Due to the immense success of Rat Bastard on the podcast Rat is elevated to his proper place amongst the populi, the God Emperor of ChongaTron. Now our entire reality is manifested through Rat.We are stuck in an illusion, a simulation, a black iron prison... And we were placed here by a nefarious demiurge. How will Danny, Edgar and Holly find their way out? THE EMPIRE NEVER ENDED. Also Edgar is back. 

Part two of Rat Bastard. Very little Holly (me) in the second part of this one. Maybe you like the idea of that and maybe you don't. Either way, 9/11 was an inside job. This one is more of a hang out.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

In part one of a very special ChongaTron: We invite Rat, our one fan, onto the podcast for an interview. Like the most popular podcasts, we bend like a reed in the wind, allowing our fans to dictate what opinions and beliefs we hold. Dan continues to become Archie Bunker. We abuse our one fan for being a proud Cherokee warrior. Holly gets treated for hysteria by a holistic gynecologist. Holly becomes a riotgrrl and is empowered by her B.P.F. Rat gets molested by patients in a nursing home. And all the success of having one fan goes to Dan's head and he gets consumed by paranoia that the feds are after him. Finally, Rat tells a story about his inbred father killing a cowboy. Edgar is gone for the week because he's doing Mexican things.Twitter: @chongatronchongatronpodcast@gmail.comCashapp: hp4420

HR evaluates Edgar's performance and rips him a new one. Dan raps a diss track, Ol' McKay. Sexual roleplay as your grandad. We are getting good at this. The sound is a little better, and will be even better next time. Men gang banging men, sluts. Holly is a genius