Dan Has Jokes

In episode 2 of Dan's new podcast, he and his guests discuss the wonderfully insane TV show Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction

Dan is now hosting a new comedy podcast called The Dan and Mordecai Show, here is a short preview!

Dan talks to local headliner John Conroy about his experience as a professional comic. John talks about how certain things have changed since he started, and shares some thoughts about what a comic needs to do in order to be successful. Dan and John exchange some ideas for jokes that they're working on, and talk about the aspects of comedic success that don't depend on having good material. John also discusses some of his worst performing experiences.

How do you find the perfect comedy catch phrase? When is it good to back away from a unique branding opportunity? These are some of the topics that Dan discusses with Baltimore comic Woo Woo. Dan and Woo Woo talk about some recent shows they did together. Woo Woo talks about how comedy turned out to be more challenging than she realized, although she is a very strong performer. She and Dan compare notes on how they prepare for shows and write down new material. They agree that the time immediately following a good show is one of the best times to work on editing your jokes. Dan is working on a new joke how climate change has affected his jokes. Meanwhile Woo Woo is trying to find a catchphrase, and wants to expand on a funny line regarding being ready for the fall. In the bonus content (available on patreon.com/danhasjokes) Woo Woo tells some ghost stories, and Dan talks about an idea for a ghost-related joke. He then shares an idea for a longer bit based on a personal experience.

Dan talks to Liz Miele, who started performing stand-up when she was sixteen. Liz talks about what it was like to start out, why she started, and how her parents supported her. She shares how her comedy has changed over the course of time, although she’s still exploring very similar premises. Dan and Liz explore the balance that new comics must find between taking advantage of every opportunity and being honest about what you’re ready for. They agree that comics need to be brutally honest with themselves at all times, for the sake of becoming a stronger performer. Liz explains why it helps to have friends who can give you honest critical feedback. They discuss the challenge of recognizing when an audience sucks versus admitting that your own act needs work, and agree that even a shitty audience can provide an opportunity to have a rewarding performing experience. Liz speaks about the importance of self-care, and staying mentally healthy. This, it turns out, is crucial for better, more grounded comedy. Dan sees this as the correct response to the way that some comics seem to revel in being mentally unhealthy. Liz talks about a new joke she is working on about her mom. The challenge of the joke is that it touches on the theme of child abuse, but she also talks about learning to see her mother as a wonderful person. Meanwhile Dan has an idea for a joke about turning down social interactions with friends so that he can stay home and experience the illusion of hanging out with people via YouTube.

Dan sits down with DC comedian Pete Musto to talk about his comedy group The Midnight, who recently got their own show at the DC Improv. Dan and Pete talk about the distinctions between club comedy and alt comedy. After exploring the way that comedy can fail to translate into other cultural contexts, they discuss the nature of comedy and the tendency of certain comics to be offensive purely for the sake of being offensive. Dan shares a new joke idea based on a writing exercise that involves trying to add creative punchlines to old overused setups. They spend some time talking through the trials of trying to be funny on social media. Before ending, Pete talks about the infamous facebook post where he unwittingly got involved in major Denver comedy scene drama. Check out the bonus content (at patreon.com/danhasjokes) to hear Dan and Pete work on some new joke ideas.

Dan talks to DC comic Sandi Benton about bucket lists, bad date locations, and writing jokes that make no sense. Sandi has a joke about getting bullied at a seance, but feels it could be stronger. She and Dan discuss the many possibilities in the idea of someone using a Ouija Board to send passive aggressive messages to a person in the room. They share stories about accidentally making audiences feel sorry for them, and Dan talks about getting poked in the belly by David Koechner. They work their way back to the subject of the occult, and find the topic of demons to be fertile ground for comedy material.

Dan talks to King Tink about the origin of his stage name, and the strange phenomenon of YouTube and everything it entails. They do, however, commiserate with each other about the fact that all entertainers need to keep producing content. They kick around various ideas for kinds of content each of them could produce.  Dan tells Tink about a new joke that's going really well even though he put zero effort into writing it. Tink shares some new joke ideas about racism and Trump's wall. They also reminisce about the days of road maps and MapQuest. Hear the rest of the interview at patreon.com/danhasjokes!

This episode was previously released as a patreon-only episode. New episodes will return next week!

Chris Hudson stops by to talk about an ill-fated robot, while Dan talks about severely misguided translations of the Bible. They each talk about getting weird gifts from their dads, and then Dan and Chris have a somewhat in-depth discussion about the inner workings of Twitter comedy. Chris runs a very funny Twitter account, @cwhudson, and is bummed out that he can’t get @chrishudson even though the other Chris Hudson never tweets. They debate the merits of doing topical political jokes in light of the never-ending 24-hour news cycle, and discuss some of ways that Twitter comedy can get weird. Visit patreon.com/danhasjokes to hear Dan and Chris’ joke writing session.

Greg Billet returns to the podcast to talk about social media. Dan explains why he thinks a lot of his twitter followers are fake, and Greg wonders what the point of it all is. Should they become Instagram influencers? Are they even capable of pulling that off? The answer to both questions is probably no. Greg doesn’t understand why he’s not invited to the Neighborhood Watch. Are they watching him? Dan relates his recent problems with cockroaches. Greg doesn’t think he would survive a zombie apocalypse, even as a zombie. Then Dan imagines how much effort it would take to successfully rob an entire Walmart. Visit patreon.com/danhasjokes to hear further conversation between Dan and Greg.

Dan sits down with Jim Bryan, founder and owner of the Church of Satire Comedy Club in Hanover, Pennsylvania. Jim talks about living in Las Vegas and the perils of gambling. Dan talks about his time working in collections. They explore the challenge of writing comedy based on terrible job experiences, and finding the right approach to looking for humor in dark situations. Jim talks about his forthcoming, self-produced comedy special called “Where the Hell Is Easy Street?” Dan is working on a joke about success, and Jim shares his thoughts about roadkill. Finally, Jim talks about a chicken in his house, and Dan talks about a man who raised a raccoon from infancy to disastrous results. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes), Jim and Dan discuss the comedic legacy of Bob Saget. Jim explains why his club is called the Church of Satire, and Dan talks about his past as a preacher. Dan shares a new joke about men who wear sandals at work. Then he and Jim talk about the meaning of accidental death and dismemberment.

Dan talks with T Moony about turtles and learning how to be yourself onstage, and then they work on jokes about Uber drivers and superheroes, among other things.

Sit back, relax, and snack on a bunch of pine needles as Dan talks to Archie Jamieson. Archie and Dan discuss the effect a physical environment has on a comedy show, whether it’s noise, lighting, seating, or anything else. They talk (or rather, rant) about social media and the way it causes us severe discontentment. Archie talks about his music career and his approach to working out material onstage. Together they work on jokes about food for children and spending time in the woods. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes) Archie further unpacks his hatred of social media. Dan and Archie discuss some of the lessons from The Comedy Bible.

This episode consists of previously unused clips featuring Greg K, Christine Ferrera, and Jordan Levine.

Dan sits down with Lenny Shelton and Raja Michael to discuss their new comedy album, Brownie Points. Lenny talks about the older scene in Los Angeles, and Raja and Dan reminisce about their friendship and the parallel paths their lives have taken. Lenny shares a personal story about Jordan Peele, and then the conversation turns to Bruce Willis and surprise movie endings. Lenny is working on a joke about black people and Canada, while Raja works on a joke about being home alone, and Dan just wants listeners to email him weird jokes they wrote in their sleep. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes) Raja and Lenny talk at a bit more length about their experience with recording an album, and Dan shares a joke idea about how divorces are announced on social media.

It might be odd to find yourself in competition with a baby, but then again, Andy Rider is an oddity. Dan talks with Andy about old comedy cassette tapes, weird Christian comedians, and lots of other topics as well. Dan shares an old memory about a middle school bully who nevertheless was the only person who would talk to him about Seinfeld. Andy talks about the time he bombed hard at a roller derby. Dan is working on a brand new joke about the time his grandfather allegedly met the Dalai Lama, who “was a nice guy.” Meanwhile Andy is trying to find a good joke about the way that people describe their romantic obsessions. They work on a couple other jokes as well, and discuss whether stand-up comedy specials are starting to rely too much on gimmicks.

What is the true measure of success? Whatever it is, it’s not associated with comedians, as Paige Wesley recently learned. Paige, the co-host of the wonderful Cult Podcast, sits down with Dan to talk about comedy life in Los Angeles, roast battles, and bombing. The conversation includes much information that would be valuable for any comic who is starting out or who has ever considered living in LA. Dan has a joke about a dolphin watching cruise in New Jersey, while Paige draws comedic inspiration from the funny way her father distinguishes his two daughters in conversation. In the extended episode, available at patreon.com/danhasjokes, Dan and Paige unpack roast battling a little bit further, and debate the best burgers in LA.

Dan talks with writer/comedian Ginny Hogan about open mics, satire, twitter, and lots of other stuff. They work on jokes about anxiety and less-than-impressive miracle stories. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes), they talk about feedback they hate and work on jokes about t-shirt cannons.

Dan is out in LA! And this week he’s talking to Ray Easter. Dan and Ray downloaded an app called Citizen and now they keep receiving very upsetting alerts about violent crimes happening nearby. Ray is working on a joke about going to the movies with his dad, while Dan goes off on a rant about mattress salesmen. In the extended episode, available at patreon.com/danhajokes, Dan and Ray share a bunch of terrible stupid joke ideas with each other, which is basically what they do when they’re not recording a podcast.

I talk with Stefen Michael about the two days I spent working at a county fair. The episode is available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES to members of the Working Comic tier

This episode kicks off with the sad realization that the podcast’s existing tagline has to be retired, for reasons explained by Dan. Mike Smith talks about his journey from theater into comedy, and an odd wardrobe choice he made for a role in Little Shop of Horrors. Dan talks about a cringe-inducing sketch he starred in when he was a youth pastor. During the joke writing session, Dan searches desperately for a good punchline about a catfish joke, and Mike laments the time-sensitive nature of his joke about the movie Creed. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes) Dan and Mike talk about many other things related to stage performance, and in the joke writing half they talk about comics whose sets got ruined when the preceding act deconstructed the very kind of comedy they were about to perform.

What if you had to live in the backseat of a luxury car? What if that small living space was haunted? These are some of the many questions raised by the minds of two of DC’s funniest comics, Jamie Benedi and Kevin Tit. Dan, Jamie, and Kevin discuss awkward performing experiences and talk about famous veteran comedians who turned out to be creeps. Kevin discusses his comedy album, and Jamie talks about his brief stint as a terrifying comedic ventriloquist. Then they work on jokes about misspent wealth, ghostly metaphors for economic oppression, and movie slashers. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes) Jamie shares a fascinating story about a legendary monster with racist origins, and he and Kevin help Dan with a couple of jokes about 3D printing and ghosts that are lazy or disinterested in the people they live with.

Episode available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES. Dan talks with Knoxville-based comedian Tyler Sonnichsen about writing jokes about religion, and then they work on a one-liner for Dan who claims to wear the pants in his house.

Most of us, when we were children, were busy working on elaborate apocalypse survival plans, but not Lilly Sparks. She’s a bit quirky, you see? And she has a whole bit about virgin sacrifices to prove it. Dan sits down to talk to Lilly, who is less than a year into comedy. They talk about film and art and her dad’s podcast about medicare for all (hear! hear!). In honor of Lilly being in her first year, Dan shares a joke from his first year that he could never get to work. Then he and Lilly try to sharpen up a bit about escaping from being sacrificed as a child. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes), Dan shares another first year joke that sort of worked sometimes, which involved taking a classic old joke and expanding on it in a weird direction. Lilly thinks the joke should be darker. Then Lilly explores the possibility of doing a joke about her family’s experience of an inverted version of the American Dream.

Who was the original model for truck nuts? This is one of many questions pondered by Mike Quindlen, a beloved comedian and booker in the Baltimore comedy scene. Mike talks about how and why he got involved in comedy, and Dan explores more of Gary Gulman’s comedy tips to the point where we should probably worry that Dan is in a Gary Gulman cult. Dan and Mike also talk about dealing with hecklers. Dan wants to improve a bit he’s been using dealing with his personal anxiety, while Mike is looking for a way to get an audience to enjoy his rant about genealogies. In the extended episode (available at patreon.com/danhasjokes) Dan shares a weird bit with Mike in which he attempts to respond to the criticism that he only tells jokes about animals. Meanwhile Mike wishes he could get a better response to a bit involving crabs and heroine.

Tommy Sinbazo discusses his origins as a colorful plaid-wearing, bongo-playing comedian, and he and Dan talk about some of the more bizarre stand-up acts they’ve encountered in the Baltimore comedy scene. Tommy talks about what the scene was like long before Dan started performing. He also gives some great general advice for newer comics. Then he and Dan work on building up a promising bit about a dentist visit. In the extended episode (available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES) Tommy gives even more valuable advice for comics who are just starting out, especially related to their EPK (electronic press kit). Dan works on a joke about an odd experience in the city of Nyack, New York, and his joke writing session with Tommy has a shocking surprise twist ending!

Abby Mello drops by to talk about her experience of getting into stand-up comedy, and she and Dan talk about some practical ways that new comics can find rooms to perform in. Abby talks about how she brings her perspective as an academic into the comedy process, and expresses a desire to do a psychological study of people who get into comedy. She and Dan work on jokes about marrying Santa Claus and unconventional ways of addressing dementia. In the extended episode (available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES) Dan and Abby talk about comedy resources, and Dan shares his experience of mentoring another comic using principles he learned in an e-book. Dan shares a couple weird new jokes, and then he and Abby do a joke writing exercise together to come up with some more options for her dementia joke.

Mariel Farhi is just coming up on celebrating her one year anniversary of performing comedy, and she and Dan discuss some of the performing lessons she has learned in that time. They talk about showing up consistently and putting in the work for joke writing, which includes knowing when to let a joke die. Dan and Mariel work on a listener-submitted joke about dog surfing, leading to some funny ideas and a very odd story from Mariel’s middle school days. In the extended episode (available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES) Dan unveils some of the terrible jokes he tried during his own first year of stand-up, and Mariel brings some ideas for jokes about serial killers and a childhood game where she pretended to meet Osama Bin Laden.

You haven’t heard a good movie rant until you’ve spent some time with John Nagle. John, who has cerebral palsy, “has some thoughts” when it comes to the Bryan Cranston/Kevin Hart film The Upside and its depiction of life with a disability. John wants to turn these thoughts into a bit for the stage, and it seems to be a very promising bit, though he and Dan discuss some ways to make it stronger. Dan and John also spend some time discussing the lack of accessibility in many comedy venues, and the impact this has on the comedy itself. In the extended episode (available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES) Dan and John go on many tangents about Mel Brooks, the Marx Brothers, and Looney Tunes, and Dan works on a number of short jokes that either meet with John’s approval or go willingly into the trash bin.

Oh boy. This one is a doozie, friends. You may be familiar with comedian Tom Myers, whether from listening to his various stand-up albums, or watching his media appearances, or even just from getting caught up in his unique comedy legacy, which has gained a rather impressive following online. If so, you know exactly what you’re getting into with this one. If you aren’t familiar with Tom Myers… you will be soon enough. In the extended episode (available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES), Tom shares some wild stories from his life as a traveling comedian, talks about taking down hecklers, and discusses his reasons for why he named his most recent comedy album MAKE AMERICA INNATE AGAIN. Dan is determined to finish writing a joke about helping his mom write her autobiography, while Tom shares joke ideas ranging from bachelor parties to religious schools to enhanced interrogation techniques.

Dan talks with DC comedian Natalie McGill about bombing, and then they work on a joke about a song with an oddly sexual connection to Christmas. To Dan’s absolute delight, Natalie sparks a discussion about Kurtis Blow, leading to yet another attempt to salvage Dan’s Kurtis Blow joke. In the extended episode (available at PATREON.COM/DANHASJOKES), Dan and Natalie talk about forgetting things onstage, and ways of writing material from one’s own experience. Natalie shares her love for old TV shows, and Dan tells a story from childhood about how his mother forbade him to watch Pee-Wee Herman’s show or movies in the most traumatizing way possible. Dan tries to build a joke on his experience of almost witnessing a knife fight in the San Francisco Public Library, and Natalie works on a bit about the way prizes are distributed at trivia nights. Dan has a one-liner about an odd food choice, while Natalie has a joke about being invited to join a threeway.

Dan sits down with Pennsylvania comic Audrie Marsh to discuss a number of interesting topics for comedy: the relationship between punching up and using self-deprecating humor, the experience of bombing during a long set, and encountering audiences who you don’t like. Dan also shares an experience from his recent trip to San Francisco where he nearly died - well, that’s a bit overdramatic, but he did see a knife fight almost break out right next to him at the public library. Dan’s life is just full of trauma these days, as he is working on a joke based on another recent experience in which someone left a very unpleasant delivery waiting for him at the entrance to his apartment. Dan and Audrie discuss the limits of doing a long joke about poop. Meanwhile, Audrie is working on jokes about morning people, specifically, the fact that morning people can’t possibly exist. She also shares a one-liner about “lesbian bed death,” which is a new concept to Dan. Dan talks about helping his mom write an autobiography, and Audrie cracks Dan up with a story about her mom misunderstanding a very basic corny joke.

Scott Seiss returns to the podcast to catch up with Dan and talk about some new joke ideas. Listen to the full episode by subscribing at patreon.com/danhasjokes!

Dan and Davion are sworn enemies in the Baltimore comedy scene, but have agreed to set aside their differences for an hour for the sake of joke writing. Dan wants the public to know that this episode could easily have been called “Davion Williams Has No Interest in Sex” but he decided that would be too mean. Davion wants to write a joke about why sex has nothing to offer that he can’t already get from self-pleasuring, and Dan suggests that this could open the door to a very funny bit in which Davion mocks himself. Dan and Davion also work on a joke meant to parody a common but annoying trope of comedy open mics.

Eric Navarro discusses The Hard Times and the process for writing satire. Listen to the full episode at patreon.com/danhasjokes

Tyler Sonnichsen wants to write a joke about a local coffee shop, but is worried the humor itself might be too local. He and Dan consider ways to broaden the joke, focusing on one unusual character who can always be found in a specific coffee shop that Tyler frequents. Meanwhile, Dan is determined to write a joke based on an oddly-named wifi network that he encountered. Tyler is a Knoxville-based stand-up comedian who just recorded an album called Modern Life Is Awesome. He talks about how he wound up in Tennessee and why he likes it as a home based for his comedy career. Dan reveals that he once saw a very upsetting comedy show in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, featuring a redneck character played by an aspiring preacher. It is Dan’s hope that he will one day interview this man on the podcast. Dan wants to write a joke about a wifi network he discovered called The Glory Hole, but knows that there needs to be more to the joke than a simple throwaway line. Tyler points out that the network might not be a silly name but might actually belong to a nearby business. But then he highlights another more religious direction to take the joke in, and Dan loves it. On the other hand, Tyler is working on a joke about a coffee shop with bad wifi due to one patron’s daily habit of watching conspiracy theory videos there on his computer all day. Dan wonders why the patron has not been asked to leave, and suggests that perhaps he actually owns the coffee shop. This raises a number of possible directions for Tyler’s joke about the conspiracy theorist’s backstory and his continuing role in the arts scene of eastern Tennessee. Tyler and Dan also work on a joke about brand loyalty.

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Mary Romeo finds inspiration for a joke in a story about being taken in by an internet scam - but the full account plays out a bit like a Lifetime Original Movie, probably with a name like “Every Mother’s Worst Fear.” Meanwhile Dan remembers an odd experience involving a panel about comedy etiquette. Mary originally hails from the Harrisburg comedy scene, but is currently pursuing her dreams in Los Angeles. And like everyone who pursues their dreams in Los Angeles, she has concerns about the food. She and Dan discuss the difficulties of being crowd worked by other comedians. Mary talks about why she moved to LA, and about the many logistical difficulties involved. Dan digs into his file of old jokes that never worked and finds one idea based on a time he sat through a panel discussion about comedy etiquette wherein one of the audience members loudly clipped his nails. Mary wants to write a joke about scammy websites, but in the process shares a story about being taken in by a scam that severely stresses Dan out. They see potential for comedy in the idea of building some sort of ongoing relationship between Mary and the scammer. Dan also wants to write a joke about being in ambulances as a sick form of entertainment.

How do you go on a rant about astrology without alienating people in the audience who are likely to believe in it? That is the challenge facing this week’s guest, Garrett Harvest. Meanwhile, Dan seems determined to outdo himself by bringing you the worst jokes he’s ever written. Garrett has been working on establishing himself as a comedic force in the Baltimore comedy scene, having come a long way from his origins of telling a joke about tacos. (Shout out to Taco Bell, which Garrett hates but Dan loves!) Dan and Garrett agree that one key to good comedy is having a life outside of comedy, since that is where the best comedic inspiration takes place. They also talk about how setting goals in comedy and putting in the work almost guarantees that you will get better at what you’re doing. Dan shares a terrible joke with Garrett about a mouse with a human ear growing out of its back. Is it possible that there is a good joke here? Perhaps in the hands of a better comedian, but unfortunately in Dan’s hands it’s complete garbage. Garrett wants to go on a rant about astrology, but (obviously) in a way that’s funny. For some reason, telling the audience they’re a bunch of idiots doesn’t seem to do the trick. However, he and Dan explore some ways to make the bit enjoyable, even in the event that the initial joke lands with a thud. Dan shares a couple other jokes, one about old ladies, and another about being born with part of his face missing.

Dan and Rose work through a slew of corny jokes to get to a couple more promising jokes, including Rose's joke about why working as a dominatrix is arguably more honest work than what people typically mean when they talk about making an honest living. There is also some discussion about cow insemination, making this the most educational episode ever. Enjoy!

I know what you’re thinking: ANOTHER milk joke? God it seems like every comedian out there is doing nothing but milk jokes. Amirite? Nevertheless Jordan is determined to put a unique spin on the genre of milk-related comedy. Meanwhile Dan is getting caught up in bathroom stall drama. Jordan Levine is a man of many talents, though as an improv artist he is currently between troupes. He discusses the development of his world-famous opening catchphrase, much to Dan’s delight. The two reminisce about working on a bad joke together at an open mic. They talk about using comedy to make a point, and about how important it is to put effort into performing no matter how small the audience is. Dan shares a brand new, completely untested joke idea about becoming invested in the drama of comments written inside bathroom stalls, and he and Jordan consider the bathroom stall as perhaps the least nuanced form of political discourse. Then Jordan shares a whole string of milk jokes, and Dan finds the bit to be solid, though he offers some ideas on a cow-related bit. Afterward, Dan and Jordan discuss a listener-submitted joke about why weed is better than booze.

Is it possible to appeal to Tyler Perry in exploring common ground between white and black people? Kiragu thinks so, although he explores different ideas for which white political leader Perry most reflects. Meanwhile, Dan is trying to add a new element to an old, well-established joke in his act. Kiragu teaches comedy to students at Frederick Douglass High School, and has some fascinating things to say about what that entails. Dan shares an email from another comic regarding a joke discussed in a previous podcast, which involves an old academic article based on a very odd scientific experiment. This leads Kiragu to reflect on his comedy, which is an attempt to speak his truth to white audiences in the hopes of disrupting problematic white narratives. Dan recently hosted a weekend at a club, where the headliner suggested some ideas for expanding one of his jokes. It is an old bit involving Dan’s dad volunteering some strange jokes for Dan’s act. Dan wants to come up with a way to cap the bit off by giving his dad an equally strange joke idea in return. Meanwhile, Kiragu wants to bring his own personal narrative more into his act, and he and Dan discuss some ways to build on a joke about a funny argument with his wife. They also talk about Tyler Perry, and Kiragu makes a surprising analogy between Perry and a certain political leader.

Mike is a music snob who won’t listen to anything past Now That’s What I Call Music 14, but what else would a person like that be snobbish about? And how do you make it funny? Mike knows there is something there, and just wants to figure out what it is. Meanwhile, Dan is looking for a good way to misdirect the audience about his new living situation. Dan has been a fan of Mike’s comedy since becoming a comic himself, and swears he once heard Mike do a joke about sequels and Mountain Dew: Code Red, although Mike doesn’t remember working on the bit. Dan and Mike talk about being identified as one-liner comics, even while explaining why they don’t feel the label is entirely accurate. Mike and Dan talk about the “satanic panic” and Dan reveals just how sheltered of a fundamentalist setting he grew up in, much to Mike’s delight. Dan is trying to write a joke about moving into a new apartment, but its current form doesn’t strike Mike as particularly good. But Mike does suggest a punchline that Dan likes. Meanwhile, Mike has a joke about listening to Jock Jams on vinyl that isn’t getting the laugh he wants, but he and Dan kick around some ideas until they stumble into the concept of treating a terrible movie as an arthouse cinematic masterpiece. This leads into the further absurdity of growing to appreciate an extremely low-quality direct-to-video cartoon, because the director’s commentary was just so amazing.

How do you take a fun idea for getting rid of offensive team names in sports, and turn it into a workable bit for the stage? Christine’s joke is in its early stages of development, but it definitely seems to hold a lot of potential for good comedy. Meanwhile, Dan is still talking about hipsters. Christine talks about her pathway to comedy through the world of performance art, and chronicles a fascinating letter correspondence that she shared with Starbucks for about a decade. Dan and Christine talk about things they’ve learned from meeting or observing some of their favorite comedians: Michael Ian Black (whom Christine recently opened for), Maria Bamford, Janeane Garofalo, and Hari Kondabolu. Dan is desperately looking for a way to improve his joke about hipsters in the afterlife, but the final product is still a long way off. Christine is horrified that the Washington Reds***s have still not changed their name, which is, after all, a racial slur. Her suggestion is to rename the teams based on systemic problems related to their regions. Dan loves the joke, but it is missing a crucial piece in order to work onstage. Dan and Christine discuss the idea of turning these concepts into mascots. Christine shares a joke she is working on about new country music, and this turns into a whole discussion about how to skewer white privilege as white performers. Inevitably, Lena Dunham becomes a prominent topic in the conversation.

It’s the most stonerific episode yet! Ian has some ideas for jokes about Frasier and alcoholism, but oh boy does the conversation go off topic and get weird. Really, guys… this is a hard episode to describe. But it’s fun! Dan and Ian talk about local comedy competitions, and Ian doesn’t really need to pay attention to underlings like Dan now that he has been crowned the most important comedian who ever lived. Dan talks about opening for a comedy hypnotist, and he and Ian speculate about how a hypnotist preps his material. Ian encourages Dan to hire an intern for the podcast, an idea which Dan isn’t thrilled about. Ian hates when fantasy football leagues show up at open mics and Dan suggests getting revenge on them by showing up at their football game viewing parties. Ian suggests that Dan add a jingle to identify the beginning of the joke-writing half of the podcast, and Dan obliges. Dan has an idea for a joke about ghosts and hipsters, but thinks it might be a mistake to try to talk about hipsters. Ian wants to joke about how Frasier began as anti-white propaganda, although somehow the conversation turns to all manner of topics. Ian has another joke about alcoholism and then after that it’s anyone’s guess what the podcast is actually about. It all comes back to hypnosis and robots.

How do you build an entire surrealist narrative out of a normal everyday bumper sticker? And what, if anything, does this have to do with Facebook friend requests? Greg wants to do something fun with a joke about taking a “how’s my driving?” truck sticker too seriously, but he’s not sure what direction to take it in. Meanwhile, Dan is working on a joke inspired by a very strange recent news story. Greg runs a monthly showcase in Mt. Vernon and, much to Dan’s delight, publicly invited Bill Burr to fill a spot that had opened. Greg and Dan discuss jokes that comics tell for their own personal amusement, even when audiences hate them, although Dan thinks there is value in resolving not to do this. They explore the common experience of comedians being told by well-meaning friends and relatives to put things in their “skits,” and break down the reasons why such comments don’t really make sense. Dan wants to write a joke about a Scottish woman who sabotaged her own vacation to America by accidentally checking a box on a form indicating that she was a terrorist. That idea is funny enough, but Dan and Greg have a good time pondering the rationale for having such a checkbox on a form to begin with. Meanwhile, Greg wants to concoct a narrative about someone so impressed by a truck driver’s driving skills, that it becomes almost an obsession. Dan suggests that Greg write himself into the joke, and Greg sees a couple possible directions. This spawns an elaborate, absurdist, completely improvised dialogue on a trucker whose driving was so good, it made a positive impact in the world.

Is she Syracuse’s favorite Baltimore comedian, or Baltimore’s favorite Syracuse comedian? Probably both, but either way, Anna Phillips is a force to be reckoned with onstage. Dan and Anna talk about how to make a joke with a really long setup work, using Anna’s poetry joke as an example, and then Dan shares a joke he’s been working on that takes four minutes to get nowhere. Before getting to that, however, Dan shares some exciting news about Kurtis Blow, who (I must remind the listener) went to college with Dan. They discuss meeting each other and Anna relates the time she shunned Phoebe Robinson with the best of intentions, a strategy Dan recognizes from an classic John Lithgow movie. They talk about adjusting their material to the needs of the audience in real time, and the dangers of blaming a badly received joke on the audience. Dan busts out some old one-liners, but then shifts gears to telling Anna a long, meandering joke about a fictional childhood experience when he built an elaborate Lego town with a remarkably dramatic history. Meanwhile, Anna is working on jokes about the marginalization of redheads, and a homeless man who kissed her on the cheek. They also talk about the challenges of performing jokes that touch on the topic of religion. All throughout, their joke-writing really serves as a loose framework in which they continue to discuss how to gear one’s material to specific audiences. It’s a lot of fun!

At what point does it become unhealthy to make yourself feel positive feelings? Stefen can’t stand “positive vibes” people, but needs to find a way to joke about them while getting the audience to side with him. He also has a joke about people who overshare, and perhaps there is a connection to be made between these two bits. Meanwhile, Dan is preparing for a big college gig, and has some ideas for how to engage the audience with college-related jokes. Stefen is a relatively new comic who used to work for the US Post Office, and if you’ve ever suspected your mailman of being on drugs, Stefen is here to tell you how right you are. Dan talks a little about how being a collections agent was such a miserable experience, he needed to start performing stand-up for the mental relief. They talk about the importance of knowing what you’re working on every time you go to an open mic, and the difficulty of maintaining healthy eating habits after you’ve bombed horribly. For an upcoming college show, Dan is looking for ways to engage the students by riffing on their degree programs. Unfortunately, the jokes he has in mind are not very good. (Note: Dan’s college show went great, everyone! The crowd work was a huge success.) Meanwhile, Stefen has some things to say about blinds and why they suck. He also rants about positive vibes people, and observes that negative emotions are a crucial part of human life. This leads him and Dan to explore funny ways to get a person to stop feeling positive for the sake of their own health. They end by talking about how full honesty is inappropriate for certain contexts, which leads to an unexpected but delightful ending in which two unrelated jokes get fused together in a very entertaining way.

How do you convince an audience that you’re so desperate for laughs, you may actually be willing to subject them to a live colonoscopy? And is there a way to work in a swimming pool noodle as a prop? These are just some of the questions pondered by Jen Diamond and Pam Hugi, members of Baltimore’s favorite two-person comedy group, OLGA. Meanwhile, Dan dredges up a painfully awkward memory from high school in search of a joke. This episode marks the first time in Dan Has Jokes’ long and distinguished (two-month) history that two guests have appeared on the podcast together. Jen and Pam have been performing together as OLGA for years, in both improv and stand-up comedy formats. They reveal lots of fun and interesting things about the nature of writing for a two-person comedy act, and talk with Dan about bombing, heckling, and trying to get onto bigger comedy shows at the last second. There’s also some discussion about YouTube celebrities, and how to give your YouTube video a killer title (in the end, nobody can solve that puzzle). Dan shares a story about a time he took a joke too far in high school, while watching a Robin Williams movie with his friends, and Jen and Pam offer thoughts on how a story like that could be adapted for the stage. In the meantime, Jen and Pam want to come up with a new OLGA routine involving props. There is discussion about them putting everything on hold to explore the contents of a mysterious backpack while an audience watches, but then Pam discloses her wish to do something related to the topic of colonoscopies. This turns into a full blown discussion about how to create tension for the audience, even to the point of hilarious discomfort, before breaking the tension in a funny and satisfying way. They end by talking about Kevin James’ recent comedy special, and the intrinsic humor of a grown rich man pretending not to understand things in society that are completely understandable.

Face tattoos, escape rooms, and squeegee kids - these are just some of the ideas occupying Josh’s mind. Why would someone do that? Who would pay for that? And how did those kids know his name was Josh? As Josh contemplates his inner Joshness, Dan tries to draw material from his past experience of professionally chasing bears away from campers. Dan and Josh talk about the differences between improv and stand-up while Dan’s unpaid interns crumble under the stress of their job. Josh really digs into an analogy about eating a turd sandwich, and Dan admits that he’s been eating turd sandwiches for over four years and highly recommends it. They discuss the rewards of seeing yourself get better at comedy, and share a few funny stories from the stage. Dan reveals to Josh that he used to be an assistant camp director, which mainly seems to have involved dealing with wildlife and pest control. There is humor in the mere thought of Dan being someone who is paid to deal with bears, but Dan wants to use a story from his bear-chasing days as a callback to another camp-related joke. Josh sees potential in one particular story from Dan where a camp staffer described a bear over the radio in racially uncomfortable terms. Meanwhile, Josh is working on a bunch of jokes, some more established, and some brand new. He likes joking about the Baltimore accent, but wonders if the joke can find a general audience. He also wants to find a better setup for a story about squeegee kids who figured out his name was Josh just by looking at him, and Dan explores some ways to say more about life as a Josh - whatever that means. Josh also sees comedic potential in face tattoos and escape rooms, and Dan is absolutely delighted at the thought of how an escape room could go horribly wrong.