Podcasts about Klondike bar

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? On this week's episode, the RCAD crew has another discussion about Project Hail Mary and Game of Thrones.They also discuss Monarch and Godzilla, The Pitt and Rooster. Nick recommends Rental Family and we discuss plane etiquette. Chris's daughter is on a trip.Lastly, a Food Chain Meme Game and an email.Become a Patron at JayandJack.comWrite us an email at RCADCast@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram at RCADCastAnd leave us an iTunes review

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? On this week’s episode, the RCAD crew has another discussion about Project Hail Mary and Game of Thrones.They also discuss Monarch and Godzilla, The Pitt and Rooster. Nick recommends Rental Family and we discuss plane etiquette. Chris's daughter is on a trip. Lastly, a Food Chain Meme […]

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? On this week's episode, the RCAD crew has another discussion about Project Hail Mary and Game of Thrones.They also discuss Monarch and Godzilla, The Pitt and Rooster. Nick recommends Rental Family and we discuss plane etiquette. Chris's daughter is on a trip.Lastly, a Food Chain Meme Game and an email.Become a Patron at JayandJack.comWrite us an email at RCADCast@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram at RCADCastAnd leave us an iTunes review

Just when you think you've officially heard everything, someone hits you with, “Hey… wanna eat a Kentucky Klondike bar?” Then somehow it escalates into us taking a quiz about things we've done in the bedroom… and Jai really had the audacity to say “no” to one of them. Suspicious. Very suspicious.And that's only the beginning—because apparently this conversation had no brakes. Stay tuned… it only gets weirder.

On this episode of The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast the guys accidentally do a bunch of ads in honor of the Super Bowl. But really, we're starting a series on the 2011 album Turtleneck & Chain. We're going to go song by song and discuss each one! Starting with the announcement video released on April 1st 2011, We're Back! Also, Jorm isn't here today. Full transparency we didn't know we were going to do this today and sort of figured it out halfway through so there is a lot of talk about brands including Rökk Vodka and Klondike Bar before we get into the song. Plus as always, some thoughts on your thoughts on last week's episode. And, how many pushups do you think Seth can do? You'll find out! Listen to Turtleneck & Chain | https://spti.fi/hans Hellmann's 2026 Big Game Longform | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaejIbCmqEk James Acaster Wants to Rig American Elections with Escape Rooms | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcdVvgxAQCk We're Back | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N24fVEJyQKM Rökk Vodka ""Dream” | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE6kgNC9EM8 Klondike Bar Andy Talking to a Klondike Bar | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP-ppWuKZR0 Klondike Bar Staring Contest | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLSDyIGTe90 Good Chop Go to https://GOODCHOP.com/podcast and use code 50island to get $50 off plus free shipping on your first order. Bombas Head over to https://Bombas.com/island and use code island for 20% off your first purchase Article Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/discount/island and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joe's epic mug fail. Justin's son took a picture you don't want to see. Road rage and car chase stories. Story about a story that shouldn't have been told. And Joe's Klondike obsession. 

Send us a textJoin former child actor Moosie Drier, and author Jonathan Rosen, as they chat with legendary songwriter of Ragtime, Schoolhouse Rock, & others, Lynn Ahrens!Lynn discusses the shows she's written songs for including Ragtime & Suessical, getting her start writing and singing songs for Schoolhouse Rock, writing jingles for Bounty and Klondike Bar, & much more!Support the show

Send us a textJoin former child actor Moosie Drier, and author Jonathan Rosen, as they chat with legendary songwriter of Ragtime, Schoolhouse Rock, & others, Lynn Ahrens!Lynn discusses the shows she's written songs for including Ragtime & Suessical, getting her start writing and singing songs for Schoolhouse Rock, writing jingles for Bounty and Klondike Bar, & much more!Support the show

In this tasty episode, Rachel Teichman, LMSW, and Victor Varnado, KSN, unwrap the history of the Klondike Bar, a beloved frozen dairy dessert treat coated in chocolatey coating. Originally created in Ohio in the 1920s, it became famous for its catchy slogan, "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" Pop a Lactaid and dive in!Full Wikipedia here:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klondike_barSubscribe to our new newsletter, WikiWeekly at https://newsletter.wikilisten.com/ for a fun fact every week to feel smart and impress your friends, and MORE! https://www.patreon.com/wikilistenpodcastFind us on social media!https://www.facebook.com/WikiListenInstagram @WikiListenTwitter @Wiki_ListenYoutubeGet bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you think you are in the wrong place, you probably are.In 25 parts, edited from the works of FinalStand.Listen and subscribe to the ► Podcast at Connected..“Believing in yourself is not enough. You must impress that belief upon the Universe.”(Monday)My pain was legendary. Fine, my pain was epic. Okay, my pain was really bad, only exacerbated by a busy weekend. Sunday had started out fine. The girls hadn't minded being cooped up in my place for half of the day. We all worked out in the morning, which Nikita found odd. Then the young ladies explored a 'man pad', which was totally new.Loraine and Nikita developed a complex relationship. Nikita was martial enough, older and far more worldly. They conflicted over me; Loraine wouldn't accept that she'd never conquer me and Nikita was stymied by the Amazon creed involving men. Europa bonded with Timothy in all kinds of odd ways including the exploration of the world of tattooing.Aya discovered a new favorite position. I had lain belly-down on the sofa while Nikita gave me a back rub. Right after she was done, Aya climbed on top of me, laid her stomach on my back and relaxed, soaking up my scent and warmth. Only when we got them home did Loraine whisper to me that she'd never seen Aya that calm and at peace for such a continuous amount of time.That warm fuzzy, along with Nikita being downright sympathetic and attentive for the rest of her stay rolled right into Timothy's and my date Sunday night. That ended up in a 'bizarre unless you are me' frolic late Sunday night. Timothy was a fun time for Nadia, Ulyssa's older sister, then finished up their date by pretending to pass out back at their place.I'd seen Timothy drink steadily for four hours with barely a buzz. Still, that ended up with Ulyssa, Nadia and I in a three-way until one in the morning. That was when Timothy pretended to wake up and call out my name. The ladies and I wrapped up the sex session quickly and 'us' guys departed because, ya know, we had work in a few hours.Timothy even changed my bandages again. I gave him a few bills to up our medical supplies. He took a few more from my wallet because he prophesied me being wounded would be a common occurrence. He followed that up by giving me a bear hug and a kiss on the cheek."You are a lifesaver, Bro," he sighed. "My break-up left me really down and you've restored my faith in life and love. Keep it up." Then we both went to bed.I followed that up with an early wake-up call from Katrina telling me to show up thirty minutes early and report to the Medical Division. That led me to biking, one legged, through the city (Nikita and I had retrieved my bike Sunday afternoon) by dawn's early light and reporting to the witchdoctors at Havenstone. Thus my legendary, epic, really bad pain.The Doctor at Doebridge had practiced traditional Amazon healing methods. The cute chick who escorted me into the Medical Division had actually heard we were in the 21st century. She sat me on a gurney in what passed for a modern Emergency Room and had me take off my pants. Then she asked me if I wanted pain-killers, or a local anesthetic."No, I'm a man," I bragged. I saw the bewilderment in her eyes. Was I saying 'no', or was I claiming to be a weak, frail male? "It is too late for your people to be nice to me now," I clarified. "You are monsters and I accept that, so let's get this over with so we can get back to our jobs.""What are you talking about?" she tried to be disarming. Could it be she wasn't a full-blooded Amazon?#To ease my pain, show me your bountiful bosom# I said in Old Kingdom Hittite. The nice, young doctor blinked. She knew of the lingo, but not the speech itself."No on the anesthetic," I sighed. "Please work professionally and quickly so we may return to our duties, Doctor.""Of course. I'll be right back," she nodded then headed off to 'get some supplies'; in other words 'call Security'. They showed up lickety-split, doctor in tow. I recognized one from the Armory. To be polite, I let her know I recalled her."Oh, it is the Kindergarten graduate," I grinned. "Who is your lesbian playmate?""Oh goodie," Kindergarten snarled. "I get another crack at you.""Wait," the buddy cautioned her. "Shouldn't we investigate the claim that he knows an unknown tongue?" She looked to me. "Well?""The Doctor needs to leave the room," I stated."You don't tell us what to do, male," Kindy snapped."Okay, how can you verify I speak your Mother Tongue without violating some protocol if she is still in the room?" I sounded bored. Home-schooled and not in a good way."I say we beat it out of you," Kindy kept being stupid. Come on, like she was going to stumble upon a conspiracy in her lowly position, armed with her limited intellect."Bring it, Kitten," I smirked. "It's not like I'm going anywhere." The two security types drew their Tasers. I reclined onto the gurney and folded my arms over my chest."Sit up, damn you," Kindy's partner demanded."Why? So when you stun me I fall to the floor? I think I'd rather flop around on the gurney, thank you," I mused.Our conversation brought attention. A few women were starting to gather around when one pressed through. I didn't know her, but she had some familiar features."Cáel Nyilas, I am Traska Maza, Violet's sister. Come to my side," she ordered. Okay now, I didn't HAVE to obey that. Once more, a nice lady was giving me an out and I took it.I swung slowly off the gurney and hobbled to her side."Kneel," and I knelt with a grimace. "Now what is your problem with our breeding male?" she added the last part in Amazon."Wait," I blurted out. "I'm no one's breeding male yet!" In Amazon/Hittite. The crowd stirred."True and you are making it a truly glorious hunt, but we will take you as our prize in the end, Male," Traska smiled down at me while petting my hair while speaking in Amazon. Sex."He speaks the; Tongue?" the Doctor stammered."Of course he does," Traska nodded. "Otherwise it would have been quite difficult for him to refuse Hayden breeding rights on Saturday.""He refused Hayden," Kindy gawked."It is against corporate policy," I explained. "Being a good boy is getting the crap kicked out of me as it is. Heaven help me if I actually broke a rule." They chuckled; psycho bitches."Cáel, rise," so I struggled to my feet. "Go to the gurney and let the doctor tend to your battle scar," Traska commanded. As I staggered back from whence I came, the term 'battle scar' resonated to both me and the women."This does not settle the crime of him speaking our language," Kindy kept blathering."Did it occur to you to contact Elsa, or Katrina, or even the office of Hayden to gather information on what was going on," Traska sighed, "before racing to attack a wounded male in the middle of this vast structure we control? What was he going to do? Hobble over to a hurricane-proof window?""Even if he managed to somehow break one, he would be throwing himself down four floors to the sidewalk below? Admittedly, if he did accomplish all that and escape, he would be a threat. I'd still want to breed with him for that would be one tough, determined male," Traska chuckled. She walked off, the guards stood around uselessly and the doctor tended my wounds.I called Katrina, updating my situation, she called someone else, who probably called someone else, who called off the guards."So, who do you think you will be breeding with?" the doctor hinted. Seriously, I could pick up a girl in a war zone. A lonely female doctor in an ER that only treats women wasn't even a contest."Actually, no one," I winked. "I'm gay. I can't get it up around women." Recall, I had no pants on and my cockhead had a mind of its own, which didn't bother me. What did bother me was its mind being more dominant than the one on top of my shoulders. The doctor patted my package. My cock was pleading 'we haven't had sex in six hours; we are dying over here'. Lying bastard."Oh really," she teased."This is not fair," I groaned. "Your ass is so finely sculpted and tight," I couldn't see most of it because of her lab coat, but hey, "and your lips look like they could suck a golf ball through a garden hose." Be careful with the last line. Make sure your target likes fellatio first.The Doctor pursed her lips and gave me a wink. Was I lining up another prospective Havenstone woman as part of some grand master plan? No. I'm an idiot with an out of control libido. I am always hitting on women. I can't help it, thus my numerous scars and colorful stories."I can, you know," she purred. Golf ball; garden hose; feels so good.You know you are making an impact on the workplace when this happens: after leaving the doctor, I was taking the elevator up to my floor. The door opened and two women stepped in, suddenly disappointed."Oh; you are already dressed," Brielle sighed. Her companion was equally peeved."Arrow wound," I informed them. "I had to go to medical. They stripped me there.""Damn it," her companion snapped her fingers. "Maybe we should tag his itinerary?""I think Katrina would frown on that," Brielle shook her head."Well, can you take off your clothes really quick?" the companion turned to me.The door opened on my floor."Sorry. No. Gotta go to work. Have a nice day now," I retreated to the safety of the office.I'm an idiot. On all the desks in the sizable office space housing the heart of Executive Services was a long box; from Nerf. Oh, Sweet God; Buffy was out to make me cry.How did I know it was Buffy? If Desiree wanted to know something about me, she'd slap me around until I answered. Buffy was far more insidious. She'd spy on me. To give her credit, I had a box as well. I too could get that wonderful feeling that Custer's last trooper felt as the Sioux and Cheyenne closed in. Sure I could shoot back, but it wouldn't do any good.Katrina had already unboxed her toy. It was loaded, resting on her desk. It was a six shooter."Honestly Cáel, is your problem with my native tongue, an inability to tell time, or an unwillingness to follow common sense instructions?" Katrina gave me a warm, maternal look. She was referring to me engaging in strenuous activity in the first 48 hours after having been wounded."After this afternoon I do not have any other dates planned so I can take it easy," I promised."As long as you understand that many of us are risking our lives to help you keep yours," Katrina pointed out. "What did Elsa want Saturday night?" The look of shame on my face was probably what Katrina expected though not what she wanted to see. "Tell me," she groaned."Oh; okay; she kissed me once but I stopped her; against policy," I started."Yes?" Katrina muttered. She knew this was bad."Oh; then I vigorously sucked and bit on her, while fingering until she arrived; hard," I confessed. Katrina put her elbow in her desk, forearm uplifted then planted her forehead on her palm."By the Goddesses, you could walk blindfolded through a minefield only to trip over a cricket," Katrina mumbled. Katrina sensed my confusion."Elsa's and Rhada's/Madi's families are in a blood feud. They would kill you for looking amorously at the other," she explained."Whoops; I didn't make either one like me," I pleaded."I believe you, Cáel," Katrina looked up and smiled. "If I didn't, I would have Desiree toss you down an elevator shaft; from the thirtieth floor.""It wouldn't work," I grinned at her. "I'm part flying squirrel. I've got those little underarm flaps and everything.""Patagium," Katrina defined that bit of anatomy for me."Stop being smarter than me," I furrowed my brow. "It is unattractive in a female." Wack; Nerf hit. Right then Daphne and Tigger walked in and took in the situation."Can we all take shots at Cáel?" Daphne inquired. Oh hell no!"I'm actually recruiting a Rebel Alliance," I offered."What's in it for us?" Tigger asked."Dubious glory, improbable hope, an unfamiliar future and the unique experience of pitting your defiance into the Eye of the Abyss before the End," I promised in Old Kingdom Hittite.

We want to hear from you, Send us a TextIn this episode, Neil, Scott, and Jeff explore the many (Legal) ways people pay for Jeep parts. Don't forget to hang out to the very end for some fun banter as the guys moved the weekend update segment to the very end. Support the showThanks for listening, give us a review and check us out on YouTube -SFJ4x4 and visit our website to grab some great gear or products for your Jeep, SFJ4x4.com. Don't forget, you can email Jeffc@sfj4x4.com for special content requests, blind react videos, suggestions, special guests, or general questions. Check out our Patreon patreon.com/ISpeakJeep

Remember the “What would you do for a Klondike Bar?” ads? They are silly but there is some truth to them. Would you do just about anything for a Klondike Bar right now? If not, what foods do you find almost irresistible? Join us for the next installment of Twisters: When God's Words Get Twisted - Part 8: No More than You Can Handle. We will look at 1 Corinthians 10:13 (page 783 in an SCC chair rack Bible). What is your understanding of what Paul is getting at in this verse? When have you found those God-inspired words twisted by others or even yourself?

“What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike Bar?” Do you remember that little jingle? Are you still, or were you ever really, crazy about that chocolate covered icecream? What's that thing that you would do a lot for today? Email me at steven@885jfm.com. I would [...]

Hey Y'all! Welcome to Season 3 of The Way Back Recap! This episode we discuss Troop Beverly Hills starring Shelley Long, Betty Thomas and Jenny Lewis. Join us as P'Tricia explains why she got kicked out of the girl scouts while Brandon tells us exactly what he would do for a Klondike Bar. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thewaybackrecap/support

Pittsburgh is the undisputed ketchup capitol, but it turns out our city can (at least partly) lay claim to one of America's most recognizable frozen desserts. Brian Butko, director of publications for the Heinz History Center, joins us to share the origin story of the Klondike bar — and how the original 1920s classic compares to today's iconic, foil-wrapped treat. Read more about western Pennsylvania grocery history via Brian's great book, “Isaly's Chipped Ham, Klondikes, and Other Tales from Behind the Counter.”  Klondike is hosting a nationwide contest through July 16 asking fans to post videos and photos on Instagram to find the town with the most creative, community-oriented answer. Learn more in Tuesday's Hey Pittsburgh newsletter. Want some more Pittsburgh news?  Make sure to sign up for our daily morning Hey Pittsburgh newsletter. We're also on Twitter @citycastpgh & Instagram @CityCastPgh! Not a fan of social? Then leave us a voicemail at 412-212-8893. Interested in advertising with City Cast? Find more info here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A very bizzare show, we have cock masters, people willing to do anything for money, and so much more.. So sit back relax and enjoy the show.. What would you do for a Klondike bar?

If you think you are in the wrong place, you probably are.By FinalStand. Listen and subscribe to the podcast at Steamy Stories.Believing in yourself is not enough. You must impress that belief upon the Universe.(Monday)My pain was legendary. Fine, my pain was epic. Okay, my pain was really bad, only exacerbated by a busy weekend. Sunday had started out fine. The girls hadn’t minded being cooped up in my place for half of the day. We all worked out in the morning, which Nikita found odd. Then the young ladies explored a ‘man pad’, which was totally new.Loraine and Nikita developed a complex relationship. Nikita was martial enough, older and far more worldly. They conflicted over me - Loraine wouldn’t accept that she’d never conquer me and Nikita was stymied by the Amazon creed involving men. Europa bonded with Timothy in all kinds of odd ways including the exploration of the world of tattooing.Aya discovered a new favorite position. I had lain belly-down on the sofa while Nikita gave me a back rub. Right after she was done, Aya climbed on top of me, laid her stomach on my back and relaxed, soaking up my scent and warmth. Only when we got them home did Loraine whisper to me that she’d never seen Aya that calm and at peace for such a continuous amount of time.That warm fuzzy, along with Nikita being downright sympathetic and attentive for the rest of her stay rolled right into Timothy’s and my date Sunday night. That ended up in a 'bizarre unless you are me’ frolic late Sunday night. Timothy was a fun time for Nadia, Ulyssa’s older sister, then finished up their date by pretending to pass out back at their place.I’d seen Timothy drink steadily for four hours with barely a buzz. Still, that ended up with Ulyssa, Nadia and I in a three-way until one in the morning. That was when Timothy pretended to wake up and call out my name. The ladies and I wrapped up the sex session quickly and 'us’ guys departed because, ya know, we had work in a few hours.Timothy even changed my bandages again. I gave him a few bills to up our medical supplies. He took a few more from my wallet because he prophesied me being wounded would be a common occurrence. He followed that up by giving me a bear hug and a kiss on the cheek.“You are a lifesaver, Bro,” he sighed. “My break-up left me really down and you’ve restored my faith in life and love. Keep it up.” Then we both went to bed.I followed that up with an early wake-up call from Katrina telling me to show up thirty minutes early and report to the Medical Division. That led me to biking, one legged, through the city (Nikita and I had retrieved my bike Sunday afternoon) by dawn’s early light and reporting to the witchdoctors at Havenstone. Thus my legendary, epic, really bad pain.The Doctor at Doebridge had practiced traditional Amazon healing methods. The cute chick who escorted me into the Medical Division had actually heard we were in the 21st century. She sat me on a gurney in what passed for a modern Emergency Room and had me take off my pants. Then she asked me if I wanted pain-killers, or a local anesthetic.“No, I’m a man,” I bragged. I saw the bewilderment in her eyes. Was I saying 'no’, or was I claiming to be a weak, frail male? “It is too late for your people to be nice to me now,” I clarified. “You are monsters and I accept that, so let’s get this over with so we can get back to our jobs.”“What are you talking about?” she tried to be disarming. Could it be she wasn’t a full-blooded Amazon?#To ease my pain, show me your bountiful bosom# I said in Old Kingdom Hittite. The nice, young doctor blinked. She knew of the lingo, but not the speech itself.“No on the anesthetic,” I sighed. “Please work professionally and quickly so we may return to our duties, Doctor.”“Of course. I’ll be right back,” she nodded then headed off to 'get some supplies’ - in other words 'call Security’. They showed up lickety-split, doctor in tow. I recognized one from the Armory. To be polite, I let her know I recalled her.“Oh, it is the Kindergarten graduate,” I grinned. “Who is your lesbian playmate?”“Oh goodie,” Kindergarten snarled. “I get another crack at you.”“Wait,” the buddy cautioned her. “Shouldn’t we investigate the claim that he knows an unknown tongue?” She looked to me. “Well?”“The Doctor needs to leave the room,” I stated.“You don’t tell us what to do, male,” Kindy snapped.“Okay, how can you verify I speak your Mother Tongue without violating some protocol if she is still in the room?” I sounded bored. Home-schooled and not in a good way.“I say we beat it out of you,” Kindy kept being stupid. Come on, like she was going to stumble upon a conspiracy in her lowly position, armed with her limited intellect.“Bring it, Kitten,” I smirked. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” The two security types drew their Tasers. I reclined onto the gurney and folded my arms over my chest.“Sit up, damn you,” Kindy’s partner demanded.“Why? So when you stun me I fall to the floor? I think I’d rather flop around on the gurney, thank you,” I mused.Our conversation brought attention. A few women were starting to gather around when one pressed through. I didn’t know her, but she had some familiar features.“Cáel Nyilas, I am Traska Maza, Violet’s sister. Come to my side,” she ordered. Okay now, I didn’t HAVE to obey that. Once more, a nice lady was giving me an out and I took it.I swung slowly off the gurney and hobbled to her side.“Kneel,” and I knelt with a grimace. “Now what is your problem with our breeding male?” she added the last part in Amazon.“Wait,” I blurted out. “I’m no one’s breeding male yet!” In Amazon/Hittite. The crowd stirred.“True and you are making it a truly glorious hunt, but we will take you as our prize in the end, Male,” Traska smiled down at me while petting my hair while speaking in Amazon. Sex.“He speaks the…Tongue?” the Doctor stammered.“Of course he does,” Traska nodded. “Otherwise it would have been quite difficult for him to refuse Hayden breeding rights on Saturday.”“He refused Hayden,” Kindy gawked.“It is against corporate policy,” I explained. “Being a good boy is getting the crap kicked out of me as it is. Heaven help me if I actually broke a rule.” They chuckled - psycho bitches.“Cáel, rise,” so I struggled to my feet. “Go to the gurney and let the doctor tend to your battle scar,” Traska commanded. As I staggered back from whence I came, the term 'battle scar’ resonated to both me and the women.“This does not settle the crime of him speaking our language,” Kindy kept blathering.“Did it occur to you to contact Elsa, or Katrina, or even the office of Hayden to gather information on what was going on,” Traska sighed, “before racing to attack a wounded male in the middle of this vast structure we control? What was he going to do? Hobble over to a hurricane-proof window?”“Even if he managed to somehow break one, he would be throwing himself down four floors to the sidewalk below? Admittedly, if he did accomplish all that and escape, he would be a threat. I’d still want to breed with him for that would be one tough, determined male,” Traska chuckled. She walked off, the guards stood around uselessly and the doctor tended my wounds.I called Katrina, updating my situation, she called someone else, who probably called someone else, who called off the guards.“So, who do you think you will be breeding with?” the doctor hinted. Seriously, I could pick up a girl in a war zone. A lonely female doctor in an ER that only treats women wasn’t even a contest.“Actually, no one,” I winked. “I’m gay. I can’t get it up around women.” Recall, I had no pants on and my cockhead had a mind of its own, which didn’t bother me. What did bother me was its mind being more dominant than the one on top of my shoulders. The doctor patted my package. My cock was pleading 'we haven’t had sex in six hours - we are dying over here’. Lying bastard.“Oh really,” she teased.“This is not fair,” I groaned. “Your ass is so finely sculpted and tight,” I couldn’t see most of it because of her lab coat, but hey, “and your lips look like they could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.” Be careful with the last line. Make sure your target likes fellatio first.The Doctor pursed her lips and gave me a wink. Was I lining up another prospective Havenstone woman as part of some grand master plan? No. I’m an idiot with an out of control libido. I am always hitting on women. I can’t help it, thus my numerous scars and colorful stories.“I can, you know,” she purred. Golf ball - garden hose - feels so good.You know you are making an impact on the workplace when this happens: after leaving the doctor, I was taking the elevator up to my floor. The door opened and two women stepped in, suddenly disappointed.“Oh…you are already dressed,” Brielle sighed. Her companion was equally peeved.“Arrow wound,” I informed them. “I had to go to medical. They stripped me there.”“Damn it,” her companion snapped her fingers. “Maybe we should tag his itinerary?”“I think Katrina would frown on that,” Brielle shook her head.“Well, can you take off your clothes really quick?” the companion turned to me.The door opened on my floor.“Sorry. No. Gotta go to work. Have a nice day now,” I retreated to the safety of the office.I’m an idiot. On all the desks in the sizable office space housing the heart of Executive Services was a long box…from Nerf. Oh, Sweet God - Buffy was out to make me cry.How did I know it was Buffy? If Desiree wanted to know something about me, she’d slap me around until I answered. Buffy was far more insidious. She’d spy on me. To give her credit, I had a box as well. I too could get that wonderful feeling that Custer’s last trooper felt as the Sioux and Cheyenne closed in. Sure I could shoot back, but it wouldn’t do any good.Katrina had already unboxed her toy. It was loaded, resting on her desk. It was a six shooter.“Honestly Cáel, is your problem with my native tongue, an inability to tell time, or an unwillingness to follow common sense instructions?” Katrina gave me a warm, maternal look. She was referring to me engaging in strenuous activity in the first 48 hours after having been wounded.“After this afternoon I do not have any other dates planned so I can take it easy,” I promised.“As long as you understand that many of us are risking our lives to help you keep yours,” Katrina pointed out. “What did Elsa want Saturday night?” The look of shame on my face was probably what Katrina expected though not what she wanted to see. “Tell me,” she groaned.“Oh…okay…she kissed me once but I stopped her - against policy,” I started.“Yes?” Katrina muttered. She knew this was bad.“Oh…then I vigorously sucked and bit on her nipples while finger-fucking her anus and vagina until she orgasmed - hard,” I confessed. Katrina put her elbow in her desk, forearm uplifted then planted her forehead on her palm.“By the Goddesses, you could walk blindfolded through a minefield only to trip over a cricket,” Katrina mumbled. Katrina sensed my confusion.“Elsa’s and Rhada’s/Madi’s families are in a blood feud. They would kill you for looking amorously at the other,” she explained.“Whoops…I didn’t make either one like me,” I pleaded.“I believe you, Cáel,” Katrina looked up and smiled. “If I didn’t, I would have Desiree toss you down an elevator shaft - from the thirtieth floor.”“It wouldn’t work,” I grinned at her. “I’m part flying squirrel. I’ve got those little underarm flaps and everything.”“Patagium,” Katrina defined that bit of anatomy for me.“Stop being smarter than me,” I furrowed my brow. “It is unattractive in a female.” Wack - Nerf hit. Right then Daphne and Tigger walked in and took in the situation.“Can we all take shots at Cáel?” Daphne inquired. Oh hell no!“I’m actually recruiting a Rebel Alliance,” I offered.“What’s in it for us?” Tigger asked.“Dubious glory, improbable hope, an unfamiliar future and the unique experience of pitting your defiance into the Eye of the Abyss before the End,” I promised in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Does that kind of oratory work on males?” Daphne mused. Violet, Fabiola and Paula swept into Katrina’s office.“What is that?” Fabiola inquired.“I’m looking for the proper terminology to entice some ladies into a rebel faction,” I replied pleasantly.“What are we rebelling against?” Paula questioned as Dora hurried in.“Meeting,” Katrina interjected, calling us 'new hires’ to order. I was still doing a lousy job, even on my day off. Everyone else walked on water and was heralded by a chorus of Angels.“Katrina,” Violet stepped forward. “What is he doing wrong? With all his utter failings, I figured there would be a fire, wreck, or near fatality by now.”That was unlooked for.“Employee trainers have found his work to be substandard,” Katrina answered. “I agree with their reports. Is there anything else?” That meant the discussion was over. The rest received their daily assignments, leaving me alone with Katrina. I stood waiting.“Cáel, you are wounded. You are not going into the field,” she informed me. “You will be handling my office affairs and classifying work orders.” What did that mean? Katrina was not forthcoming. It was becoming obvious that I’d need the Long Island Medium to get me through the day.“And I liked this office too,” I muttered.“What was that, Cáel?” my boss inquired.“Don’t mind me. I’m only contemplating how I can possibly screw this up,” I shrugged. “I figure there is electrical wiring that could burst into flames, a sprinkler system spontaneously activating, and several thousand women who I don’t know, yet could seriously inconvenience.”“You have great instincts,” Katrina smiled. “I believe in you.” Helpful - that was not. Despite that, I managed to navigate the order process with some success. Promptly at 8:45, Katrina got up and left the office. Not to the bathroom - gone-gone. She left the door open. That way women in the office could come by and exchange fire with me.I nearly put a bolt into Trent Grant when he stopped by to see me. His knock saved his Nerf-free status.“Hello Kale,” he began.“Cáel,” I sighed. “Kale is a cabbage…anyway, as you were saying?”“Oh, I wanted to come by and see how you were doing after that…accident,” he said warily.“That was screwed up,” I grinned. “She was so worried that she might hit me that her fingers slipped. Trust me, she’ll never make that mistake again.”“I can’t believe you are not suing Havenstone over this,” Trent smiled back.“Over this?” I smirked. I stood up and walked around my desk, swallowing my pain and infirmity to put on a convincing act. “Trent, I’ve had a girlfriend do more damage over one long, hot night than this scratch.”“You are really okay?” he worried.“Trent, if someone had really tried to kill me, I would have gone to the cops and we wouldn’t be here having this chat,” I assured him. Trent took a deep breath, expelling his doubts with a comfortable lie.“So…what’s with all that?” he motioned to plethora of darts I had stacked up.I was being shot at far more often than I could return fire. In the minute Trent had been with me, three ladies had peeked in then withdrawn.“How about you, me and the fellas have after work drinks sometime?” I suggested. Trent almost got snooty then some long slumbering primal instincts kicked in. I was a survivor and he could sense it.“Sure. Tonight?” he offered.“I’m working on a hot Brazilian tonight,” I grinned. “Tomorrow?”“Brazilian? Oh, okay. Tomorrow then,” he nodded. “You should be careful about dating,” he added. “We think that is how Khalid screwed up and got transferred.”Those jackasses had known this for how long and not clued me in? Gee thanks guys.“What do you mean?” I appeared confused. “I’ve been getting 'trim’ left, right and sideways just not at work. I nailed four ladies this weekend alone - after being shot.”“Aaahhh…good then,” Trent grunted as if gut punched.“Besides, Khalid wasn’t transferred. He volunteered for an experimental top secret program involving social engineering - real cutting edge stuff,” I lied. “If we do the right thing, an opening might become available for the rest of us.” I am a bastard. “The Nerf guns are a team building exercise my personal favorite trainer implemented.”“You appear to be getting along well here,” Trent acknowledged. “I mentioned your name and several women looked at me funny then smiled and pointed you out.” Sigh.“Trent, you probably won’t heed my advice, but here it is anyway,” I said. “I know you were in a fraternity. Think of yourself as a pledge and every woman in your department as a senior brother and you’ll get by okay.”“Come on now,” Trent smiled smugly, “some of them don’t even have a formal education. They use this archaic apprenticeship system.”“Yeah, except you are only starting out in a system they’ve graduated from,” I gave it one last try. Trent nodded. He was right and I was a hick.I hoped he got along well with Khalid because he would probably be seeing him soon. Trent waved goodbye and I raced for Katrina’s desk - and Nerf gun. I made it back to my station before three ladies came at me. I got two of them, taking only one hit myself then it was back to work. Brian showed up thirty minutes later and Felix stopped by ten minutes after that.It was the same deal. I gave them the same lie, did my song and dance, gave them my warning they would ignore and finally raided Katrina’s bathroom for painkillers. She had this herbal crap which I downed like candy. At 12:10 Buffy arrived. She shot at me but I parried with my reading lamp and then shot back twice, hitting her once.“Why do you have two guns?” Buffy growled.“Cause I’m smarter than you,” I snarled back while desperately reloading. Daphne walked in with both a pistol and a large bag of Mexican take-out.“Die, you reprehensible Pig!” Buffy howled as she popped off two more bolts.Daphne shot Buffy in the side before Buffy finished. I was in love all over again. Buffy turned to put a dart into Daphne who raced around to my desk.“I guess this makes me a rebel,” Daphne laughed. She popped off two more shots.“Sure,” I chuckled. “Welcome aboard.” Buffy was on the edge of a volcanic eruption.“Cease-fire while we eat lunch?” I pleaded. Buffy mulled it over; the alternative being storming over to me and administering a pistol-whipping.“I hate you,” she seethed. She did lower her pistol and walk over to my desk.“I’ve missed you,” I responded. She didn’t buy it - yet.“How many whores did you screw his weekend?” Man, she was volatile.“None. I don’t pay for sex,” I sighed. “I still missed you,” I moaped. Buffy trembled with rage.“Cáel, be careful,” Daphne whispered. Buffy shot me - in the left thigh. I staggered, clamped my teeth down to stifle my scream and only Daphne’s efforts stopped me from keeling over.“Buffy!” Daphne snapped. “That was too much. Stop it.”“It is okay, Daphne,” I gasped. “I’ve made her angry.” Daphne didn’t get it, but I did. Buffy stomped straight into my space and gave that deep jaguar-like growl. “I liked the Nerf gun idea,” I added. “That was truly clever.” That got her. Buffy linked her fingers behind her back.“Thanks,” I whispered then leaned in and rained down little puffs of air all along her neck, ears and face. She especially liked me blowing on her lips. Her mouth opened and her tongue played along her lips as I was only millimeters away. Daphne leaned around me to see what I was doing to make Buffy moan so sensually the way she was.“We had better eat lunch”, I spoke softly into Buffy’s ear when I was done. “Do you forgive me?” Buffy’s eyes shown feverishly, yet with pleasure, not anger.“No. Keep working on it,” Buffy smirked then reached around for her plate of food.“I swear I will be nicer to you than Buffy is,” Daphne murmured.“Don’t get between me and my prey,” Buffy snarled…then she sneaked an arm around my waist and hugged me. Daphne pulled a seat around to share her meal at my station. Buffy sat in my lap. Not sexual harassment in the least. “So, are you staying away from other Havenstone women?” Buffy verbally ambushed me in mid-bite.“Would you please accept my word that this is not a discussion we want to have,” I groaned.“Who?” Buffy was back to angry.“Elsa,” Katrina announced as she strolled back into her office. “Don’t ask how, or why, Buffy. It wasn’t Cáel’s doing.” She was almost to her desk when she froze.Katrina’s body rotated around toward me before flickering to the ground where a lone dart lay.“Cáel, there is a dart lying at your feet,” she pointed out. Shit. Too God damn smart.“We’ll forgo me lying, you reminding me to trust you and go to my inevitable revelation that Buffy shot me in my wounded thigh,” I sighed.“Thank you,” Katrina nodded to me. “Buffy, you can’t do this to him. If you screw up again, I’ll send you to another department and forbid Cáel from having any further contact with you. Now tell me, what is wrong?”“I…I try to be with other men,” she nearly wept.“They can’t handle my aggression nor engage me mentally the way Cáel does,” she confessed painfully. “I want to own him so bad it hurts.”“Buffy, you are sitting in his lap,” Katrina coaxed. “Why don’t you try telling him how you feel? He clearly likes you.”“As poorly as you’ve treated him, I’m a bit surprised he hasn’t punched the crap out of you - off the clock, of course,” Katrina admonished her underling.“I’d kick his ass,” Buffy replied defiantly.“Tell that to Madi,” Katrina reminded her.“Very well,” Buffy nodded. Turning in my lap, she added, “Stop looking at other Havenstone women.”“No,” Katrina preempted me. “You will not punish him for things beyond his control, Buffy. There is only so much he can do to avoid the other ladies that doesn’t get him relocated.”“I still don’t like it,” Buffy muttered. “We should keep him in Executive Services and send people to harass all his outsider female contacts.” Katrina looked down and shook her head.“This job keeps getting tougher and tougher,” she commented. She was heading back to her desk which pretty much ended the conversation.After Buffy and Daphne had left, I mulled over a few things.“Can I bitch about something?” I asked Katrina. I wanted to ask about the other three men.“No,” she stated. That was that. The rest of the day was the normal office drudgery spiced up with a near-constant exchange of Nerf fire. Katrina never asked for her gun back and no one dared shoot her.At five o'clock, Katrina released me.“How did I do today?” I inquired.“Hmmm…let me see…you sent the VP of Banking - Australia’s Fiat to an address in the Netherlands,” she reviewed. “The address also appears to be underwater.”I had to think about that.“You are making that up,” I accused her. “I sent the damn thing to Melbourne and you know it.” Katrina gave a heartfelt laughed.“Do you know why you are the only male getting poor reviews?” she teased. I thought hard.“No clue,” I shrugged.“Because you are so bloody diligent,” Katrina grinned. “I know - some - of your history, Cáel. The more difficult the challenge, the harder you endeavor. The other guys are whiny babies. They don’t take criticism well.”“Now that we have that out of the way are you going to start giving me better reviews?” I hoped.“No,” Katrina chuckled. “Watching your face as you struggle to figure out what you did wrong really helps me start the day.”“Am I off the clock?” I asked. Katrina nodded. “Bitch.” Katrina laughed.I nearly walked into Violet on the way out.“Did you just call Katrina a bitch?” she whispered.“Give me a bad work review and I’ll call you something worse,” I glared.“Do you have any idea who she is?” Violet hissed.“I’ll give it a shot,” I shrugged. “Katrina is the head of the KGB.” I got an uncomprehending stare. “The Secret Police?” Violet thought that over. Fabiola and Tigger came up.“Yes, something like that except she has people killed,” Violet explained.“What are you talking about?” Tigger intruded.“Look up the KGB on Wiki, ladies,” I smirked. “It will clarify my understanding of the situation.”“Why are you so insolent?” Fabiola tugged on my arm to stop me from leaving.“For the same reason you think you are better than me,” I grinned. “It is in the blood. Actually, I don’t mean to be insolent. If I could walk away from this job, I would. Since I can’t, I feel it is only fair to make all of you suffer for it.”“If you hate us, why did you offer yourself up to Leona?” Fabiola persisted.“Because he cares,” Tigger spoke for me.“He’s weak,” Fabiola kept going.“Seriously,” Daphne caught me off-guard. “If he’s willing to commit so much to a child not his own, think how selflessly he’d safeguard his own.”“You don’t believe in fathers,” I regarded the 'new hire’ group.“Things change,” Violet smiled. In 76 days they were going to rip me to pieces. I burned through ten more minutes swapping stories about our day before we made it to the lobby. Yasmin Palhavã was early, so she got to meet the whole crew and they got to meet her.At this point a small leap of logic could have saved me a heap of pain. I could have asked. The girls could have realized I didn’t have a critical piece of information. The moment passed, I signed in Yasmin, my Brazilian MILF, and headed up to the corporate workout facility. The first hurdle - there was no men’s changing room.Yasmin decided it wasn’t a big deal. We changed in separate sections and joined up at the entrance to the gym. They also had an Olympic-sized pool - cool.“What happened to your leg?” she questioned. I had been wearing pants and was now in shorts.“It was an archery accident,” I supplied a plausible answer. Her nod signified she didn’t believe me and would bring this up later. I get wounded a lot.I was about to swipe my ID at the gym door when it opened and a woman walked into us.“What?” she gasp in Old Kingdom Hittite.“My pardon,” I replied in the same language. “It was not our intent to impede your progress.” She gave us a curious look as I caught the door and held it for Yasmin to enter.“What lang…” Yasmin got out before the expanse of the exercise facility stole her breath away. See, in normal companies, only a tiny fraction of the workforce uses the in-house gyms. At Havenstone, if a woman wasn’t working out on a daily basis, the assumption was that she’d died at her post. Whatever Yasmin said next had to have been in Portuguese.“What was that?” I inquired.“Oh, I said this was place is bigger than the village I was born in,” she translated. A small village - maybe a hamlet perhaps. Fortunately, we beat the evening rush so there weren’t too many women there yet.We got some looks from the ladies there. Yasmin didn’t notice and I was busy working machines in tandem to her. I had made a good impression with her. She barely concealed her enthusiasm and I got the impression her most current workouts were calisthenics in her home. An hour later, we were feeling the burn, Yasmin clued me in that she had a babysitter until nine, and the place was crowding up.Yasmin had been shooting glances at the sparring area for some time. Like me, she practiced Brazilian jujutsu. She felt she was growing rusty so we grabbed a corner - really an 8x8 meter area. Since the southwestern space was already taken, we grabbed the northeastern spot. Despite my bum leg, Yasmin and I were having tons of fun. Then shit happened.“What style is that?” one of the now-substantial crowd of women spectators asked Yasmin - in Old Kingdom Hittite. Before I could translate, Yasmin spoke.“Excuse me? What was that?” Yasmin responded in English. Every other woman began muttering - in Old Kingdom Hittite. Oh God, I had fucked up somehow.“I think we should be going,” I urged Yasmin.“Come on now,” she beamed at me. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” Seeing my reticence, “Five minutes, please?” I took a deep breath and nodded - I am an idiot. I was looking at that sweaty body, wonderful bust line, and excellent hips and speculating how nice those legs would feel wrapped around my waist instead of listening to my 'Spidey senses’.Five more minutes and I would have Yasmin barking like a dog before the Sun set. That I might die in the next five minutes was not something my cock was taking into account. Ten seconds later and all my concentration was eaten up simply stopping Yasmin from grappling with me. Even with her refusal to take advantage of my left leg’s weakness, she finally got me down on the mat.Her victorious smile terminated in an instant. Yasmin rolled us over as a foot stomped down in the place we had just vacated. We both sprang up, facing off against an Amazon I wasn’t familiar with.“Take your bitch and leave, you mongrel,” the woman spat in Old Kingdom Hittite.“What the hell did she say?” Yasmin seethed. The woman smirked, turned and started walking back to the portion of sparring mat she’d come from. I gave her all the consideration she’d have given me - I blindsided her. My fist caught her between the shoulder blades. I followed her down, striking again and again, rapid-fire.The other Amazon’s started to surge forward, but I wasn’t done yet. I grabbed my attacker by the shoulder and crotch, heaved her over my head and tossed her at her sparring partner.“Apology not accepted,” I growled out my contempt in Old Kingdom Hittite.Yasmin’s outrage at my seemingly unwarranted attack, “Cáel!” was overcome by the sensation of the room closing in on us.Several women grabbed her. No one taunted, or threatened me. I was a male in their world and I’d put a boot up one of theirs ass.“Cáel?” Yasmin called to me, now concerned.“Woman, shut up!” one of the senior looking women snapped in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Yasmin, keep quiet and ask for Katrina,” I grinned. “I’m afraid I’ll have to truncate our date. Putting all these bitches in their place is going to take a while.” It wasn’t like they were going to beat me to death any harder. Yasmin started thrashing about, cursing and stomping on feet.“Stop it,” I insisted. “They will seriously hurt you.”“I’m not going to let you fight all alone,” she kept trying to break free. I had to keep backing away from her in order to delay me being totally surrounded. Two Amazons slammed Yasmin face first into the mat.“Oh boy,” I muttered. “This is going to be a tad harsher than Rhada and Madi.”“Wait,” one of them called out. “You are that male?” Old Kingdom Hittite.“I request a clarification of that question,” I replied. Old Kingdom Hittite.One turned to another.“I can’t believe we missed this. The male speaks our tongue. It can only be Cáel Nyilas,” she said. Old Kingdom Hittite.“Does this mean you are not going to beat me into the earth?” I hoped. Old Kingdom Hittite.“No. You launched an unprovoked attack against one of ours. You need to be severely disciplined,” one said. The group nodded their acceptance of the verdict. “Due to your bravery Saturday, if you kneel your punishment will be swift.” Old Kingdom Hittite.Poor Yasmin. She had no clue what was going on around her.“Thank you for your generous offer. I do appreciate it, but I would rather inflict as much harm upon as many of you as possible instead,” I smiled. “I only humble my body before the Worthy.” Yes, I had insulted them - roughly 250 and counting.“You are acting above your station,” a familiar voice called out from the back of the pack. Normally, if a man gives a woman an orgasm, she recalls you fondly. In my case, plenty of women whose worlds I’d rocked had tried to kill me afterwards. Elsa’s appearance did not signify the arrival of my salvation.The other women parted and Elsa stepped forward.“Cáel, I am not going to kill you, or even hurt you badly. I am going to curb your arrogance and remind you of your place in things. Fear not, this will be over quickly,” Elsa sounded pleasant.“I’ll remain scared, thank you very much,” I shrugged. At least we were speaking in English now.“Spear,” Elsa demanded. Amazons don’t play fair. I was hardly surprised.“Klondike Bar,” I demanded as well. No tasty treat appeared while Elsa got her weapon. Elsa gave me a quizzical look.“I’ve got a Zen for some ice cold sugar,” I explained. That earned me a few chuckles.“Don’t hurt his reproductive organ,” someone shouted in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Cáel, if you can give up, please do. I think that woman wants to kill you,” Yasmin pleaded. Elsa wanted some spearing to go on just not the way Yasmin feared.“You need to stop picking up whatever gutter trash presents itself,” Elsa taunted me.“She is a guardian of the young, a single mother and a stranger to this country, Elsa,” I stated evenly. “She is my friend and a guest. Let her leave in peace.”“No more jests?” Elsa chuckled. “Have I made you angry?”“Angry?” I sneered. “No, angry would be me finding out you stuff Kleenex in your bra.”“I’m not going to insult your loyalty, prestige, or courage because you’ve exhibited all three to me already,” I told her. “My warning remains the same: don’t let your pride blind you.”“Fair enough,” she nodded. “Let’s begin.” She thrust forward with her spear. It was an opening move, not an attempt to skewer me.“Damn it, you cowards,” Yasmin snarled. “Give him a weapon.” No one did. They didn’t care for an outsider’s opinion of their bravery. I fought as best I could with my natural talents. Boxing allowed me to take a beating, especially someone in my weight class. Jujutsu helped me fight prone as well as quickly getting back on my feet.Elsa beat me black and blue. Come on, she had a spear and I had my fists and a wounded leg. The gathering seemed amazed at the drubbing I was soaking up. I really got their attention the third time Elsa relented so that I could stand back up for another dose of pain. She swung the spear around to hit my wound again. I hit the midpoint of the shaft so hard, it shattered.I tried to follow that up with a punch to the face. Elsa flowed past the blow and landed several punishing jabs to my ribs, knocking me down. This time she put me in a choke hold.“Give up,” she commanded.“Never surrender,” I rasped then the world went dark.(Picking up the Pieces)I was vaguely aware of a prick to my left leg and the sheer agony of my thigh began to immediately go numb.“You’ve ripped out half his damn staples,” a female voice chastised someone else.“He refused to yield,” Elsa stated. All of that had been Old Kingdom Hittite. I moaned.“Cáel, how do you feel?” Elsa mocked me.“Had enough?” I mumbled. “If so, whose ass do I have to kick next?”“Male, Elsa demolished you,” an Amazon gloated.“With a spear,” Yasmin countered. Good, she was still close. “Hand to hand, he would have won even with his bad leg.”That brought forth snorts of derision all around. Oh well.“How is that first girl I fought doing? Is she okay?” I was putting my thoughts together.“I’m right here,” she grabbed my jaw and yanked it her way. Then it dawned on me I was lying on my back, on the mat, with multiple ladies kneeling around me.Yasmin was there, along with Elsa, a medic of some kind, and first chick I’d fought with.“Is this circumstance between us at an end?” I inquired of her in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Your insolence remains unbroken, dog,” she seethed. Old Kingdom Hittite.“What I did does not matter,” I sighed. “You attacked a guest of an Executive Services personnel and would not apologize, now or then. You and I are not done.”The woman hauled back her fist to hit me. A shot rang out.“I said 'make way’ damn you,” Desiree shouted out from the far side of the crowd. Old Kingdom Hittite.“Watch your…” a woman snapped. Old Kingdom Hittite. BANG! Screaming in pain. BANG! A different scream. “I swear by all the Goddesses and Ancestors, I have six shots left and they will all be aimed to kill!” Desiree yelled. Old Kingdom Hittite.Multiple women headed for the weapon racks. Amazons couldn’t be accused of cowardice. They did part enough to let Desiree make it to my side next to Elsa.“Idiot, how have you fucked up this time?” Desiree glared down at me, so I told her. She looked to the first woman I had fought. “Is this how it happened?” this time on Old Kingdom Hittite.“He was in the Pure-blood facility,” she answered. I had figured that out already, just too late to do any good. Old Kingdom Hittite.“And in your brilliance, you decided that he was purposely picking a fight with you and the over 300 other Amazons here as opposed to him having made an honest mistake…” Desiree let that last bit hang out there. Old Kingdom Hittite.“He was in here, no matter what the reason,” my assailant persisted. “Even Katrina can’t save him from this - or you for attacking other full-bloods.” Old Kingdom Hittite. Desiree smirked.“I am not here under the orders of Katrina, Sabia,” Desiree finally identified my attacker. “I am here under the orders of Hayden, who has plans to breed with this male.” Old Kingdom Hittite.“Your willingness to deny her this pleasure will be noted,” Desiree smirked. “Cáel, did it ever occur to you that there would be separate gyms for the different status groups?” she looked back to me. At this point, Elsa motioned for two members of the security detail to take Yasmin away. All that followed was in Old Kingdom Hittite, the language of the Amazons.“Initially no. I figured it out right before the shit hit the fan. Not being a bigot, I didn’t take into account the bigotry of others,” I sighed. I wasn’t working on a fan base directly. I had to walk that fine line between 'highly spirited male’ and 'blasphemous intruder’.“They are not bigots,” Desiree interrupted the dark mutterings. “They are the Master Race.”“His insolence is infecting you,” Elsa said as she stood.“That is insulting,” Desiree mocked. “He inspires me. This is no disease. He is a living example of defiance against all odds. In case any of you missed it that was our genesis as a people.”“He shames me by showing with his own wit and blood that I should only give respect to those who show it to me and I should bow to no other. You had best earn his respect because he will not subject himself to your undeserved pride, numbers be damned,” Desiree declared.“He angers me with his jokes and cutting commentary. He also angers me for pointing out the sickness in our own ranks. You have become more prideful than competent. His greatest joke is not that he will die for his beliefs, it is that he risks so much out of compassion for us. He will not let our poisoned lineage limp on a few more decades if he cannot aid in our salvation.”'We don’t need you, this male, or any of your thoughts, half-blood,’ was the general mood of the room.“Revel in your superiority while being restricted to breeding with inferior males,” Desiree chuckled. “Again, your condescension is ridiculously absurd.”“I will breed with Cáel and have many fine daughters. You, who can still breed,” Desiree rubbed it in, “will have daughters who are even less than you. I’m sure my granddaughters will be suitably impressed with your prestige when they read about it in the scrolls.”“We cannot kill you for your abuse, but we can certainly mark you for the offenses,” Elsa smirked.“Cáel, to my side,” Desiree snapped. I struggled to stand. The medic tried to stop me.“You will tear your staples if you exert yourself,” the medic told me.“While my heart still beats, I must answer my Sister’s call to battle,” I explained to the woman. She let me struggle to my feet. I did my best to not topple into either Desiree or Elsa.“He is so wrecked he can barely stand,” one woman joked to another. In a flash, Desiree shot the speaker in the thigh, causing her to scream out and tumble to the ground.“By all means, jump up and attack me,” Desiree mocked her. “It took the male seven seconds to regain his feet. I am sure we all await your superior effort.”The woman did stand back up, shrugging off assistance as she did. I doubt she was faster than me though.“That’s nice,” Desiree continued. “You are a pure-blood. You look to be fit and excellently built. You and Cáel both have a wounded left leg. He has had the ever-living crap beaten out of him, so feel free to attack him when you are ready.”The woman looked to me then back to Desiree.“What? I need medical attention,” the woman protested.“Fine. Cáel, attack Blythe (the wounded woman),” Desiree directed.“Why?” I grunted.“Because I told you to,” Desiree chuckled. We’d been down this road before.“Ah - she’s wounded and not attacking either of us,” I reason, “so I’ll have to decline.”“There you have it, Morons,” Desiree shouted. “Had you told Cáel he was doing something wrong, he would have apologized and left.”“Had you told him to sit down and wait for a superior to show up, he would have,” Desiree continued. “But no, you had to attack him. When he had the temerity to defend himself, you closed in like a pack of jackals and let him get battered into unconsciousness. You were so eager to stomp on a male outside the public view none of you took a moment to think.”“This isn’t over between you and me,” Elsa glared at Desiree. A whispered ripple moved through the crowd. Amazons moved aside, opening a large lane from the door to us. Two bodyguards led the way. Desiree quickly pulled out her gun’s clip, chambered out the last round and placed her pistol on the mat. All around weapons were put down, not dropped.Hayden came forward flanked by another bodyguard and a female attendant.“Cáel, to my side,” she commanded evenly. I weaved to her right side. “Kneel.” I nearly face-planted I was so overwhelmed by pain.“Tegan, please tell me what is going on,” Hayden addressed the most senior member present.The woman stepped forward and gave her own, skewed, version of events.“I have already misused too much time on this male’s behalf,” Hayden mused. “My only conclusion drawn from all these issues is that I am the Spiritual Leader of a bunch of prejudiced, arrogant, conceited cunts,” she finished angrily.“Please explain to me how one male barely a month out of a rural, tiny college in the middle of nowhere has bewildered so many of my women?” Hayden scanned the room.“He attacked me,” Sabia complained.“Maybe that will teach you to not attack an opponent who has eighteen centimeters and thirty kilograms on you,” Hayden sighed.“Especially, by your own admission, you knew he and another woman were practicing an intricate martial art you were unfamiliar with,” Hayden appeared strict and maternal. “Don’t give me 'he was a male’ either. All complaints concerning the 'New Directive’ are to be directed to Katrina, Tessa, or myself.”“We are not a pack of hyenas who lash out wildly, without consideration for our laws,” she declared.“We must defend ourselves,” Tegan insisted.“Yes,” Hayden nodded. “I agree. Your point would be?”“He attacked Sabia,” Tegan pointed out.“I am well aware of that,” Hayden related patiently. “Sabia launched an unprovoked attacked, refused to explain herself and didn’t take the presence of a guest into account. What would you have done in the same situation?”“He is a man,” Tegan stated.“He is a man. He is also a Havenstone employee, a servant of Katrina and a part of a program I have initiated,” Hayden kept at it. “What do you suggest? I instruct the males to stand patiently while you slit their throats? We would rapidly run out of men to recruit.”“In case you have forgotten the discussion that leads to our extinction,” Hayden grew chilly. “By all means throw yourself off the top of the building. Do not expect me to do the same, or welcome your attempt to murder my offspring with your intransigent. Cáel, how many days is it now?” she teased me.“76 Hayden,” I responded, “though I still plan to spend that first night with Buffy.”“Still more afraid of her than me?” Hayden openly joked with me. Cold-ass woman.“I’m starting to think she’s gene-spliced with a lady-jaguar,” I confessed. “Not only does she make these spooky growling noises, she perches over doors I frequently use.”There was a hush over the room.“Oh Goddess, Sisters,” Hayden groaned. “Its levity. He is not being serious - you know, being playful and amusing to lessen the stress of a situation. Cáel, stop trying to get yourself killed. Many of these women could greatly benefit some time with you.”“With, or without weapons?” I looked up. Hayden swatted my hair.“Bad!” Hayden waggled a finger in my face. “Bad Male! Bad!” She look to the stunned/amused assembly. “This is really all it takes.”“He called us unworthy,” another Amazon spoke up.“And his opinion of you would matter - why?” Hayden looked at the woman.“He said he would only bow before the Worthy,” another woman persisted. Hayden groaned.“You really are a problem,” Hayden looked at me with frightening compassion.“I apologize,” I said obsequiously.“If you want Cáel to kneel, call Katrina and convince her to make you Cáel’s boss. Then he will kneel, follow, leap in front of bullets, punch your enemies, play with your children, or get your lunch. It is what he does and he’s done all that before and more. If you want to make him jump, take ten minutes out of your busy lives and use a phone,” Hayden scanned the room.“Can I return to my dinner, or is there another bout of insanity that I need to deal with?” Hayden pleasantly menaced the room.“Ummm, Hayden,” I asked softly, “are medical people coming for the three women who were shot.” I got a pat on the head.“Yes they are. It was very much 'you’ to ask. Now stop stressing your wounded leg,” she smiled. “From what I understand you have slept with three different women in the past 48 hours, plus roughhousing with three children for half a day. For a man who has been wounded as much as you have, I would think you would have more common sense where recovery was concerned.”“I’ll endeavor to be less of a problem…for what’s that worth,” I grinned. Another swat on the head. Hayden made a brief goodbye to the group then left the room. The looks I was getting told volumes. They hadn’t forgiven me for deciding to fight back. That was too much to ask. What I was getting was embarrassment. They had acted stupidly and knew it.They had been in such a rush to reassert their superiority they had forgotten to engage their brains. In hindsight, what was I going to do? Fight them all? Make a break for it? Had they calmly exerted their authority, I would have acquiesced. I would have clearly embraced that option. Once they enjoined violence, they had backed me into a corner.At that point, they couldn’t win. They didn’t have the time to break me and no amount of damage I sustained would change the equation. I knew I was going to get beaten so there was no incentive for me to do anything but fight. I had fought Rhada and Madi after all. Best of all, their irrational actions had been highlighted by their highest official.There were a few 'he should have submitted’. Those speakers weren’t convincing anyone, even themselves. Their tame males would have bowed down. Hell, they wouldn’t have been in this position in the first place. With pain and blood, I was starting to make inroads. Amazons didn’t have a version of the French Foreign Legion at Camarón, or the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae.Sacrifice was occasionally necessary, but not celebrated. This was not to say giving your life for another wasn’t appreciated. It was, yet the emphasis was on killing your enemy before such a deed was inevitable. Vastly outnumbered throughout their history, the lessons they drilled into the next generation was one of killing your enemy swiftly.Going toe to toe with your foes was a luxury they could not afford. Numbers and ill-fortune could be calamitous. The Amazons in the gym saw nothing wrong with the Elsa having a spear while I had nothing. In the same way, they had no problem with 'how’ I attacked Sabia, only that I had attacked her at all.It had been foolish of Sabia to turn her back on me, not knowing who I was. Had they been in my position, they would have hit her from behind too. What they did value was loyalty, martial valor and respect. Betraying a fellow Amazon was probably a horrific crime to them. Personal grievances were most likely dealt with internally with the declaration of a blood feud.Martial valor - well, duh. They were Amazons. I was willing to bet every one of the new male recruits had some sort of combative ability. Tessa and Katrina would not want to dump neophytes into this cauldron without some sort of defensive training. Their system of respect was an elaborate structure I had barely pierced.Prestige/blood purity was important, yet clearly competence counted as well. Hayden, Katrina and Tessa were all scary-smart. The last two were pretty young for their critical

If you think you are in the wrong place, you probably are.By FinalStand. Listen and subscribe to the podcast at Steamy Stories.Believing in yourself is not enough. You must impress that belief upon the Universe.(Monday)My pain was legendary. Fine, my pain was epic. Okay, my pain was really bad, only exacerbated by a busy weekend. Sunday had started out fine. The girls hadn’t minded being cooped up in my place for half of the day. We all worked out in the morning, which Nikita found odd. Then the young ladies explored a ‘man pad’, which was totally new.Loraine and Nikita developed a complex relationship. Nikita was martial enough, older and far more worldly. They conflicted over me - Loraine wouldn’t accept that she’d never conquer me and Nikita was stymied by the Amazon creed involving men. Europa bonded with Timothy in all kinds of odd ways including the exploration of the world of tattooing.Aya discovered a new favorite position. I had lain belly-down on the sofa while Nikita gave me a back rub. Right after she was done, Aya climbed on top of me, laid her stomach on my back and relaxed, soaking up my scent and warmth. Only when we got them home did Loraine whisper to me that she’d never seen Aya that calm and at peace for such a continuous amount of time.That warm fuzzy, along with Nikita being downright sympathetic and attentive for the rest of her stay rolled right into Timothy’s and my date Sunday night. That ended up in a 'bizarre unless you are me’ frolic late Sunday night. Timothy was a fun time for Nadia, Ulyssa’s older sister, then finished up their date by pretending to pass out back at their place.I’d seen Timothy drink steadily for four hours with barely a buzz. Still, that ended up with Ulyssa, Nadia and I in a three-way until one in the morning. That was when Timothy pretended to wake up and call out my name. The ladies and I wrapped up the sex session quickly and 'us’ guys departed because, ya know, we had work in a few hours.Timothy even changed my bandages again. I gave him a few bills to up our medical supplies. He took a few more from my wallet because he prophesied me being wounded would be a common occurrence. He followed that up by giving me a bear hug and a kiss on the cheek.“You are a lifesaver, Bro,” he sighed. “My break-up left me really down and you’ve restored my faith in life and love. Keep it up.” Then we both went to bed.I followed that up with an early wake-up call from Katrina telling me to show up thirty minutes early and report to the Medical Division. That led me to biking, one legged, through the city (Nikita and I had retrieved my bike Sunday afternoon) by dawn’s early light and reporting to the witchdoctors at Havenstone. Thus my legendary, epic, really bad pain.The Doctor at Doebridge had practiced traditional Amazon healing methods. The cute chick who escorted me into the Medical Division had actually heard we were in the 21st century. She sat me on a gurney in what passed for a modern Emergency Room and had me take off my pants. Then she asked me if I wanted pain-killers, or a local anesthetic.“No, I’m a man,” I bragged. I saw the bewilderment in her eyes. Was I saying 'no’, or was I claiming to be a weak, frail male? “It is too late for your people to be nice to me now,” I clarified. “You are monsters and I accept that, so let’s get this over with so we can get back to our jobs.”“What are you talking about?” she tried to be disarming. Could it be she wasn’t a full-blooded Amazon?#To ease my pain, show me your bountiful bosom# I said in Old Kingdom Hittite. The nice, young doctor blinked. She knew of the lingo, but not the speech itself.“No on the anesthetic,” I sighed. “Please work professionally and quickly so we may return to our duties, Doctor.”“Of course. I’ll be right back,” she nodded then headed off to 'get some supplies’ - in other words 'call Security’. They showed up lickety-split, doctor in tow. I recognized one from the Armory. To be polite, I let her know I recalled her.“Oh, it is the Kindergarten graduate,” I grinned. “Who is your lesbian playmate?”“Oh goodie,” Kindergarten snarled. “I get another crack at you.”“Wait,” the buddy cautioned her. “Shouldn’t we investigate the claim that he knows an unknown tongue?” She looked to me. “Well?”“The Doctor needs to leave the room,” I stated.“You don’t tell us what to do, male,” Kindy snapped.“Okay, how can you verify I speak your Mother Tongue without violating some protocol if she is still in the room?” I sounded bored. Home-schooled and not in a good way.“I say we beat it out of you,” Kindy kept being stupid. Come on, like she was going to stumble upon a conspiracy in her lowly position, armed with her limited intellect.“Bring it, Kitten,” I smirked. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” The two security types drew their Tasers. I reclined onto the gurney and folded my arms over my chest.“Sit up, damn you,” Kindy’s partner demanded.“Why? So when you stun me I fall to the floor? I think I’d rather flop around on the gurney, thank you,” I mused.Our conversation brought attention. A few women were starting to gather around when one pressed through. I didn’t know her, but she had some familiar features.“Cáel Nyilas, I am Traska Maza, Violet’s sister. Come to my side,” she ordered. Okay now, I didn’t HAVE to obey that. Once more, a nice lady was giving me an out and I took it.I swung slowly off the gurney and hobbled to her side.“Kneel,” and I knelt with a grimace. “Now what is your problem with our breeding male?” she added the last part in Amazon.“Wait,” I blurted out. “I’m no one’s breeding male yet!” In Amazon/Hittite. The crowd stirred.“True and you are making it a truly glorious hunt, but we will take you as our prize in the end, Male,” Traska smiled down at me while petting my hair while speaking in Amazon. Sex.“He speaks the…Tongue?” the Doctor stammered.“Of course he does,” Traska nodded. “Otherwise it would have been quite difficult for him to refuse Hayden breeding rights on Saturday.”“He refused Hayden,” Kindy gawked.“It is against corporate policy,” I explained. “Being a good boy is getting the crap kicked out of me as it is. Heaven help me if I actually broke a rule.” They chuckled - psycho bitches.“Cáel, rise,” so I struggled to my feet. “Go to the gurney and let the doctor tend to your battle scar,” Traska commanded. As I staggered back from whence I came, the term 'battle scar’ resonated to both me and the women.“This does not settle the crime of him speaking our language,” Kindy kept blathering.“Did it occur to you to contact Elsa, or Katrina, or even the office of Hayden to gather information on what was going on,” Traska sighed, “before racing to attack a wounded male in the middle of this vast structure we control? What was he going to do? Hobble over to a hurricane-proof window?”“Even if he managed to somehow break one, he would be throwing himself down four floors to the sidewalk below? Admittedly, if he did accomplish all that and escape, he would be a threat. I’d still want to breed with him for that would be one tough, determined male,” Traska chuckled. She walked off, the guards stood around uselessly and the doctor tended my wounds.I called Katrina, updating my situation, she called someone else, who probably called someone else, who called off the guards.“So, who do you think you will be breeding with?” the doctor hinted. Seriously, I could pick up a girl in a war zone. A lonely female doctor in an ER that only treats women wasn’t even a contest.“Actually, no one,” I winked. “I’m gay. I can’t get it up around women.” Recall, I had no pants on and my cockhead had a mind of its own, which didn’t bother me. What did bother me was its mind being more dominant than the one on top of my shoulders. The doctor patted my package. My cock was pleading 'we haven’t had sex in six hours - we are dying over here’. Lying bastard.“Oh really,” she teased.“This is not fair,” I groaned. “Your ass is so finely sculpted and tight,” I couldn’t see most of it because of her lab coat, but hey, “and your lips look like they could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.” Be careful with the last line. Make sure your target likes fellatio first.The Doctor pursed her lips and gave me a wink. Was I lining up another prospective Havenstone woman as part of some grand master plan? No. I’m an idiot with an out of control libido. I am always hitting on women. I can’t help it, thus my numerous scars and colorful stories.“I can, you know,” she purred. Golf ball - garden hose - feels so good.You know you are making an impact on the workplace when this happens: after leaving the doctor, I was taking the elevator up to my floor. The door opened and two women stepped in, suddenly disappointed.“Oh…you are already dressed,” Brielle sighed. Her companion was equally peeved.“Arrow wound,” I informed them. “I had to go to medical. They stripped me there.”“Damn it,” her companion snapped her fingers. “Maybe we should tag his itinerary?”“I think Katrina would frown on that,” Brielle shook her head.“Well, can you take off your clothes really quick?” the companion turned to me.The door opened on my floor.“Sorry. No. Gotta go to work. Have a nice day now,” I retreated to the safety of the office.I’m an idiot. On all the desks in the sizable office space housing the heart of Executive Services was a long box…from Nerf. Oh, Sweet God - Buffy was out to make me cry.How did I know it was Buffy? If Desiree wanted to know something about me, she’d slap me around until I answered. Buffy was far more insidious. She’d spy on me. To give her credit, I had a box as well. I too could get that wonderful feeling that Custer’s last trooper felt as the Sioux and Cheyenne closed in. Sure I could shoot back, but it wouldn’t do any good.Katrina had already unboxed her toy. It was loaded, resting on her desk. It was a six shooter.“Honestly Cáel, is your problem with my native tongue, an inability to tell time, or an unwillingness to follow common sense instructions?” Katrina gave me a warm, maternal look. She was referring to me engaging in strenuous activity in the first 48 hours after having been wounded.“After this afternoon I do not have any other dates planned so I can take it easy,” I promised.“As long as you understand that many of us are risking our lives to help you keep yours,” Katrina pointed out. “What did Elsa want Saturday night?” The look of shame on my face was probably what Katrina expected though not what she wanted to see. “Tell me,” she groaned.“Oh…okay…she kissed me once but I stopped her - against policy,” I started.“Yes?” Katrina muttered. She knew this was bad.“Oh…then I vigorously sucked and bit on her nipples while finger-fucking her anus and vagina until she orgasmed - hard,” I confessed. Katrina put her elbow in her desk, forearm uplifted then planted her forehead on her palm.“By the Goddesses, you could walk blindfolded through a minefield only to trip over a cricket,” Katrina mumbled. Katrina sensed my confusion.“Elsa’s and Rhada’s/Madi’s families are in a blood feud. They would kill you for looking amorously at the other,” she explained.“Whoops…I didn’t make either one like me,” I pleaded.“I believe you, Cáel,” Katrina looked up and smiled. “If I didn’t, I would have Desiree toss you down an elevator shaft - from the thirtieth floor.”“It wouldn’t work,” I grinned at her. “I’m part flying squirrel. I’ve got those little underarm flaps and everything.”“Patagium,” Katrina defined that bit of anatomy for me.“Stop being smarter than me,” I furrowed my brow. “It is unattractive in a female.” Wack - Nerf hit. Right then Daphne and Tigger walked in and took in the situation.“Can we all take shots at Cáel?” Daphne inquired. Oh hell no!“I’m actually recruiting a Rebel Alliance,” I offered.“What’s in it for us?” Tigger asked.“Dubious glory, improbable hope, an unfamiliar future and the unique experience of pitting your defiance into the Eye of the Abyss before the End,” I promised in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Does that kind of oratory work on males?” Daphne mused. Violet, Fabiola and Paula swept into Katrina’s office.“What is that?” Fabiola inquired.“I’m looking for the proper terminology to entice some ladies into a rebel faction,” I replied pleasantly.“What are we rebelling against?” Paula questioned as Dora hurried in.“Meeting,” Katrina interjected, calling us 'new hires’ to order. I was still doing a lousy job, even on my day off. Everyone else walked on water and was heralded by a chorus of Angels.“Katrina,” Violet stepped forward. “What is he doing wrong? With all his utter failings, I figured there would be a fire, wreck, or near fatality by now.”That was unlooked for.“Employee trainers have found his work to be substandard,” Katrina answered. “I agree with their reports. Is there anything else?” That meant the discussion was over. The rest received their daily assignments, leaving me alone with Katrina. I stood waiting.“Cáel, you are wounded. You are not going into the field,” she informed me. “You will be handling my office affairs and classifying work orders.” What did that mean? Katrina was not forthcoming. It was becoming obvious that I’d need the Long Island Medium to get me through the day.“And I liked this office too,” I muttered.“What was that, Cáel?” my boss inquired.“Don’t mind me. I’m only contemplating how I can possibly screw this up,” I shrugged. “I figure there is electrical wiring that could burst into flames, a sprinkler system spontaneously activating, and several thousand women who I don’t know, yet could seriously inconvenience.”“You have great instincts,” Katrina smiled. “I believe in you.” Helpful - that was not. Despite that, I managed to navigate the order process with some success. Promptly at 8:45, Katrina got up and left the office. Not to the bathroom - gone-gone. She left the door open. That way women in the office could come by and exchange fire with me.I nearly put a bolt into Trent Grant when he stopped by to see me. His knock saved his Nerf-free status.“Hello Kale,” he began.“Cáel,” I sighed. “Kale is a cabbage…anyway, as you were saying?”“Oh, I wanted to come by and see how you were doing after that…accident,” he said warily.“That was screwed up,” I grinned. “She was so worried that she might hit me that her fingers slipped. Trust me, she’ll never make that mistake again.”“I can’t believe you are not suing Havenstone over this,” Trent smiled back.“Over this?” I smirked. I stood up and walked around my desk, swallowing my pain and infirmity to put on a convincing act. “Trent, I’ve had a girlfriend do more damage over one long, hot night than this scratch.”“You are really okay?” he worried.“Trent, if someone had really tried to kill me, I would have gone to the cops and we wouldn’t be here having this chat,” I assured him. Trent took a deep breath, expelling his doubts with a comfortable lie.“So…what’s with all that?” he motioned to plethora of darts I had stacked up.I was being shot at far more often than I could return fire. In the minute Trent had been with me, three ladies had peeked in then withdrawn.“How about you, me and the fellas have after work drinks sometime?” I suggested. Trent almost got snooty then some long slumbering primal instincts kicked in. I was a survivor and he could sense it.“Sure. Tonight?” he offered.“I’m working on a hot Brazilian tonight,” I grinned. “Tomorrow?”“Brazilian? Oh, okay. Tomorrow then,” he nodded. “You should be careful about dating,” he added. “We think that is how Khalid screwed up and got transferred.”Those jackasses had known this for how long and not clued me in? Gee thanks guys.“What do you mean?” I appeared confused. “I’ve been getting 'trim’ left, right and sideways just not at work. I nailed four ladies this weekend alone - after being shot.”“Aaahhh…good then,” Trent grunted as if gut punched.“Besides, Khalid wasn’t transferred. He volunteered for an experimental top secret program involving social engineering - real cutting edge stuff,” I lied. “If we do the right thing, an opening might become available for the rest of us.” I am a bastard. “The Nerf guns are a team building exercise my personal favorite trainer implemented.”“You appear to be getting along well here,” Trent acknowledged. “I mentioned your name and several women looked at me funny then smiled and pointed you out.” Sigh.“Trent, you probably won’t heed my advice, but here it is anyway,” I said. “I know you were in a fraternity. Think of yourself as a pledge and every woman in your department as a senior brother and you’ll get by okay.”“Come on now,” Trent smiled smugly, “some of them don’t even have a formal education. They use this archaic apprenticeship system.”“Yeah, except you are only starting out in a system they’ve graduated from,” I gave it one last try. Trent nodded. He was right and I was a hick.I hoped he got along well with Khalid because he would probably be seeing him soon. Trent waved goodbye and I raced for Katrina’s desk - and Nerf gun. I made it back to my station before three ladies came at me. I got two of them, taking only one hit myself then it was back to work. Brian showed up thirty minutes later and Felix stopped by ten minutes after that.It was the same deal. I gave them the same lie, did my song and dance, gave them my warning they would ignore and finally raided Katrina’s bathroom for painkillers. She had this herbal crap which I downed like candy. At 12:10 Buffy arrived. She shot at me but I parried with my reading lamp and then shot back twice, hitting her once.“Why do you have two guns?” Buffy growled.“Cause I’m smarter than you,” I snarled back while desperately reloading. Daphne walked in with both a pistol and a large bag of Mexican take-out.“Die, you reprehensible Pig!” Buffy howled as she popped off two more bolts.Daphne shot Buffy in the side before Buffy finished. I was in love all over again. Buffy turned to put a dart into Daphne who raced around to my desk.“I guess this makes me a rebel,” Daphne laughed. She popped off two more shots.“Sure,” I chuckled. “Welcome aboard.” Buffy was on the edge of a volcanic eruption.“Cease-fire while we eat lunch?” I pleaded. Buffy mulled it over; the alternative being storming over to me and administering a pistol-whipping.“I hate you,” she seethed. She did lower her pistol and walk over to my desk.“I’ve missed you,” I responded. She didn’t buy it - yet.“How many whores did you screw his weekend?” Man, she was volatile.“None. I don’t pay for sex,” I sighed. “I still missed you,” I moaped. Buffy trembled with rage.“Cáel, be careful,” Daphne whispered. Buffy shot me - in the left thigh. I staggered, clamped my teeth down to stifle my scream and only Daphne’s efforts stopped me from keeling over.“Buffy!” Daphne snapped. “That was too much. Stop it.”“It is okay, Daphne,” I gasped. “I’ve made her angry.” Daphne didn’t get it, but I did. Buffy stomped straight into my space and gave that deep jaguar-like growl. “I liked the Nerf gun idea,” I added. “That was truly clever.” That got her. Buffy linked her fingers behind her back.“Thanks,” I whispered then leaned in and rained down little puffs of air all along her neck, ears and face. She especially liked me blowing on her lips. Her mouth opened and her tongue played along her lips as I was only millimeters away. Daphne leaned around me to see what I was doing to make Buffy moan so sensually the way she was.“We had better eat lunch”, I spoke softly into Buffy’s ear when I was done. “Do you forgive me?” Buffy’s eyes shown feverishly, yet with pleasure, not anger.“No. Keep working on it,” Buffy smirked then reached around for her plate of food.“I swear I will be nicer to you than Buffy is,” Daphne murmured.“Don’t get between me and my prey,” Buffy snarled…then she sneaked an arm around my waist and hugged me. Daphne pulled a seat around to share her meal at my station. Buffy sat in my lap. Not sexual harassment in the least. “So, are you staying away from other Havenstone women?” Buffy verbally ambushed me in mid-bite.“Would you please accept my word that this is not a discussion we want to have,” I groaned.“Who?” Buffy was back to angry.“Elsa,” Katrina announced as she strolled back into her office. “Don’t ask how, or why, Buffy. It wasn’t Cáel’s doing.” She was almost to her desk when she froze.Katrina’s body rotated around toward me before flickering to the ground where a lone dart lay.“Cáel, there is a dart lying at your feet,” she pointed out. Shit. Too God damn smart.“We’ll forgo me lying, you reminding me to trust you and go to my inevitable revelation that Buffy shot me in my wounded thigh,” I sighed.“Thank you,” Katrina nodded to me. “Buffy, you can’t do this to him. If you screw up again, I’ll send you to another department and forbid Cáel from having any further contact with you. Now tell me, what is wrong?”“I…I try to be with other men,” she nearly wept.“They can’t handle my aggression nor engage me mentally the way Cáel does,” she confessed painfully. “I want to own him so bad it hurts.”“Buffy, you are sitting in his lap,” Katrina coaxed. “Why don’t you try telling him how you feel? He clearly likes you.”“As poorly as you’ve treated him, I’m a bit surprised he hasn’t punched the crap out of you - off the clock, of course,” Katrina admonished her underling.“I’d kick his ass,” Buffy replied defiantly.“Tell that to Madi,” Katrina reminded her.“Very well,” Buffy nodded. Turning in my lap, she added, “Stop looking at other Havenstone women.”“No,” Katrina preempted me. “You will not punish him for things beyond his control, Buffy. There is only so much he can do to avoid the other ladies that doesn’t get him relocated.”“I still don’t like it,” Buffy muttered. “We should keep him in Executive Services and send people to harass all his outsider female contacts.” Katrina looked down and shook her head.“This job keeps getting tougher and tougher,” she commented. She was heading back to her desk which pretty much ended the conversation.After Buffy and Daphne had left, I mulled over a few things.“Can I bitch about something?” I asked Katrina. I wanted to ask about the other three men.“No,” she stated. That was that. The rest of the day was the normal office drudgery spiced up with a near-constant exchange of Nerf fire. Katrina never asked for her gun back and no one dared shoot her.At five o'clock, Katrina released me.“How did I do today?” I inquired.“Hmmm…let me see…you sent the VP of Banking - Australia’s Fiat to an address in the Netherlands,” she reviewed. “The address also appears to be underwater.”I had to think about that.“You are making that up,” I accused her. “I sent the damn thing to Melbourne and you know it.” Katrina gave a heartfelt laughed.“Do you know why you are the only male getting poor reviews?” she teased. I thought hard.“No clue,” I shrugged.“Because you are so bloody diligent,” Katrina grinned. “I know - some - of your history, Cáel. The more difficult the challenge, the harder you endeavor. The other guys are whiny babies. They don’t take criticism well.”“Now that we have that out of the way are you going to start giving me better reviews?” I hoped.“No,” Katrina chuckled. “Watching your face as you struggle to figure out what you did wrong really helps me start the day.”“Am I off the clock?” I asked. Katrina nodded. “Bitch.” Katrina laughed.I nearly walked into Violet on the way out.“Did you just call Katrina a bitch?” she whispered.“Give me a bad work review and I’ll call you something worse,” I glared.“Do you have any idea who she is?” Violet hissed.“I’ll give it a shot,” I shrugged. “Katrina is the head of the KGB.” I got an uncomprehending stare. “The Secret Police?” Violet thought that over. Fabiola and Tigger came up.“Yes, something like that except she has people killed,” Violet explained.“What are you talking about?” Tigger intruded.“Look up the KGB on Wiki, ladies,” I smirked. “It will clarify my understanding of the situation.”“Why are you so insolent?” Fabiola tugged on my arm to stop me from leaving.“For the same reason you think you are better than me,” I grinned. “It is in the blood. Actually, I don’t mean to be insolent. If I could walk away from this job, I would. Since I can’t, I feel it is only fair to make all of you suffer for it.”“If you hate us, why did you offer yourself up to Leona?” Fabiola persisted.“Because he cares,” Tigger spoke for me.“He’s weak,” Fabiola kept going.“Seriously,” Daphne caught me off-guard. “If he’s willing to commit so much to a child not his own, think how selflessly he’d safeguard his own.”“You don’t believe in fathers,” I regarded the 'new hire’ group.“Things change,” Violet smiled. In 76 days they were going to rip me to pieces. I burned through ten more minutes swapping stories about our day before we made it to the lobby. Yasmin Palhavã was early, so she got to meet the whole crew and they got to meet her.At this point a small leap of logic could have saved me a heap of pain. I could have asked. The girls could have realized I didn’t have a critical piece of information. The moment passed, I signed in Yasmin, my Brazilian MILF, and headed up to the corporate workout facility. The first hurdle - there was no men’s changing room.Yasmin decided it wasn’t a big deal. We changed in separate sections and joined up at the entrance to the gym. They also had an Olympic-sized pool - cool.“What happened to your leg?” she questioned. I had been wearing pants and was now in shorts.“It was an archery accident,” I supplied a plausible answer. Her nod signified she didn’t believe me and would bring this up later. I get wounded a lot.I was about to swipe my ID at the gym door when it opened and a woman walked into us.“What?” she gasp in Old Kingdom Hittite.“My pardon,” I replied in the same language. “It was not our intent to impede your progress.” She gave us a curious look as I caught the door and held it for Yasmin to enter.“What lang…” Yasmin got out before the expanse of the exercise facility stole her breath away. See, in normal companies, only a tiny fraction of the workforce uses the in-house gyms. At Havenstone, if a woman wasn’t working out on a daily basis, the assumption was that she’d died at her post. Whatever Yasmin said next had to have been in Portuguese.“What was that?” I inquired.“Oh, I said this was place is bigger than the village I was born in,” she translated. A small village - maybe a hamlet perhaps. Fortunately, we beat the evening rush so there weren’t too many women there yet.We got some looks from the ladies there. Yasmin didn’t notice and I was busy working machines in tandem to her. I had made a good impression with her. She barely concealed her enthusiasm and I got the impression her most current workouts were calisthenics in her home. An hour later, we were feeling the burn, Yasmin clued me in that she had a babysitter until nine, and the place was crowding up.Yasmin had been shooting glances at the sparring area for some time. Like me, she practiced Brazilian jujutsu. She felt she was growing rusty so we grabbed a corner - really an 8x8 meter area. Since the southwestern space was already taken, we grabbed the northeastern spot. Despite my bum leg, Yasmin and I were having tons of fun. Then shit happened.“What style is that?” one of the now-substantial crowd of women spectators asked Yasmin - in Old Kingdom Hittite. Before I could translate, Yasmin spoke.“Excuse me? What was that?” Yasmin responded in English. Every other woman began muttering - in Old Kingdom Hittite. Oh God, I had fucked up somehow.“I think we should be going,” I urged Yasmin.“Come on now,” she beamed at me. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” Seeing my reticence, “Five minutes, please?” I took a deep breath and nodded - I am an idiot. I was looking at that sweaty body, wonderful bust line, and excellent hips and speculating how nice those legs would feel wrapped around my waist instead of listening to my 'Spidey senses’.Five more minutes and I would have Yasmin barking like a dog before the Sun set. That I might die in the next five minutes was not something my cock was taking into account. Ten seconds later and all my concentration was eaten up simply stopping Yasmin from grappling with me. Even with her refusal to take advantage of my left leg’s weakness, she finally got me down on the mat.Her victorious smile terminated in an instant. Yasmin rolled us over as a foot stomped down in the place we had just vacated. We both sprang up, facing off against an Amazon I wasn’t familiar with.“Take your bitch and leave, you mongrel,” the woman spat in Old Kingdom Hittite.“What the hell did she say?” Yasmin seethed. The woman smirked, turned and started walking back to the portion of sparring mat she’d come from. I gave her all the consideration she’d have given me - I blindsided her. My fist caught her between the shoulder blades. I followed her down, striking again and again, rapid-fire.The other Amazon’s started to surge forward, but I wasn’t done yet. I grabbed my attacker by the shoulder and crotch, heaved her over my head and tossed her at her sparring partner.“Apology not accepted,” I growled out my contempt in Old Kingdom Hittite.Yasmin’s outrage at my seemingly unwarranted attack, “Cáel!” was overcome by the sensation of the room closing in on us.Several women grabbed her. No one taunted, or threatened me. I was a male in their world and I’d put a boot up one of theirs ass.“Cáel?” Yasmin called to me, now concerned.“Woman, shut up!” one of the senior looking women snapped in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Yasmin, keep quiet and ask for Katrina,” I grinned. “I’m afraid I’ll have to truncate our date. Putting all these bitches in their place is going to take a while.” It wasn’t like they were going to beat me to death any harder. Yasmin started thrashing about, cursing and stomping on feet.“Stop it,” I insisted. “They will seriously hurt you.”“I’m not going to let you fight all alone,” she kept trying to break free. I had to keep backing away from her in order to delay me being totally surrounded. Two Amazons slammed Yasmin face first into the mat.“Oh boy,” I muttered. “This is going to be a tad harsher than Rhada and Madi.”“Wait,” one of them called out. “You are that male?” Old Kingdom Hittite.“I request a clarification of that question,” I replied. Old Kingdom Hittite.One turned to another.“I can’t believe we missed this. The male speaks our tongue. It can only be Cáel Nyilas,” she said. Old Kingdom Hittite.“Does this mean you are not going to beat me into the earth?” I hoped. Old Kingdom Hittite.“No. You launched an unprovoked attack against one of ours. You need to be severely disciplined,” one said. The group nodded their acceptance of the verdict. “Due to your bravery Saturday, if you kneel your punishment will be swift.” Old Kingdom Hittite.Poor Yasmin. She had no clue what was going on around her.“Thank you for your generous offer. I do appreciate it, but I would rather inflict as much harm upon as many of you as possible instead,” I smiled. “I only humble my body before the Worthy.” Yes, I had insulted them - roughly 250 and counting.“You are acting above your station,” a familiar voice called out from the back of the pack. Normally, if a man gives a woman an orgasm, she recalls you fondly. In my case, plenty of women whose worlds I’d rocked had tried to kill me afterwards. Elsa’s appearance did not signify the arrival of my salvation.The other women parted and Elsa stepped forward.“Cáel, I am not going to kill you, or even hurt you badly. I am going to curb your arrogance and remind you of your place in things. Fear not, this will be over quickly,” Elsa sounded pleasant.“I’ll remain scared, thank you very much,” I shrugged. At least we were speaking in English now.“Spear,” Elsa demanded. Amazons don’t play fair. I was hardly surprised.“Klondike Bar,” I demanded as well. No tasty treat appeared while Elsa got her weapon. Elsa gave me a quizzical look.“I’ve got a Zen for some ice cold sugar,” I explained. That earned me a few chuckles.“Don’t hurt his reproductive organ,” someone shouted in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Cáel, if you can give up, please do. I think that woman wants to kill you,” Yasmin pleaded. Elsa wanted some spearing to go on just not the way Yasmin feared.“You need to stop picking up whatever gutter trash presents itself,” Elsa taunted me.“She is a guardian of the young, a single mother and a stranger to this country, Elsa,” I stated evenly. “She is my friend and a guest. Let her leave in peace.”“No more jests?” Elsa chuckled. “Have I made you angry?”“Angry?” I sneered. “No, angry would be me finding out you stuff Kleenex in your bra.”“I’m not going to insult your loyalty, prestige, or courage because you’ve exhibited all three to me already,” I told her. “My warning remains the same: don’t let your pride blind you.”“Fair enough,” she nodded. “Let’s begin.” She thrust forward with her spear. It was an opening move, not an attempt to skewer me.“Damn it, you cowards,” Yasmin snarled. “Give him a weapon.” No one did. They didn’t care for an outsider’s opinion of their bravery. I fought as best I could with my natural talents. Boxing allowed me to take a beating, especially someone in my weight class. Jujutsu helped me fight prone as well as quickly getting back on my feet.Elsa beat me black and blue. Come on, she had a spear and I had my fists and a wounded leg. The gathering seemed amazed at the drubbing I was soaking up. I really got their attention the third time Elsa relented so that I could stand back up for another dose of pain. She swung the spear around to hit my wound again. I hit the midpoint of the shaft so hard, it shattered.I tried to follow that up with a punch to the face. Elsa flowed past the blow and landed several punishing jabs to my ribs, knocking me down. This time she put me in a choke hold.“Give up,” she commanded.“Never surrender,” I rasped then the world went dark.(Picking up the Pieces)I was vaguely aware of a prick to my left leg and the sheer agony of my thigh began to immediately go numb.“You’ve ripped out half his damn staples,” a female voice chastised someone else.“He refused to yield,” Elsa stated. All of that had been Old Kingdom Hittite. I moaned.“Cáel, how do you feel?” Elsa mocked me.“Had enough?” I mumbled. “If so, whose ass do I have to kick next?”“Male, Elsa demolished you,” an Amazon gloated.“With a spear,” Yasmin countered. Good, she was still close. “Hand to hand, he would have won even with his bad leg.”That brought forth snorts of derision all around. Oh well.“How is that first girl I fought doing? Is she okay?” I was putting my thoughts together.“I’m right here,” she grabbed my jaw and yanked it her way. Then it dawned on me I was lying on my back, on the mat, with multiple ladies kneeling around me.Yasmin was there, along with Elsa, a medic of some kind, and first chick I’d fought with.“Is this circumstance between us at an end?” I inquired of her in Old Kingdom Hittite.“Your insolence remains unbroken, dog,” she seethed. Old Kingdom Hittite.“What I did does not matter,” I sighed. “You attacked a guest of an Executive Services personnel and would not apologize, now or then. You and I are not done.”The woman hauled back her fist to hit me. A shot rang out.“I said 'make way’ damn you,” Desiree shouted out from the far side of the crowd. Old Kingdom Hittite.“Watch your…” a woman snapped. Old Kingdom Hittite. BANG! Screaming in pain. BANG! A different scream. “I swear by all the Goddesses and Ancestors, I have six shots left and they will all be aimed to kill!” Desiree yelled. Old Kingdom Hittite.Multiple women headed for the weapon racks. Amazons couldn’t be accused of cowardice. They did part enough to let Desiree make it to my side next to Elsa.“Idiot, how have you fucked up this time?” Desiree glared down at me, so I told her. She looked to the first woman I had fought. “Is this how it happened?” this time on Old Kingdom Hittite.“He was in the Pure-blood facility,” she answered. I had figured that out already, just too late to do any good. Old Kingdom Hittite.“And in your brilliance, you decided that he was purposely picking a fight with you and the over 300 other Amazons here as opposed to him having made an honest mistake…” Desiree let that last bit hang out there. Old Kingdom Hittite.“He was in here, no matter what the reason,” my assailant persisted. “Even Katrina can’t save him from this - or you for attacking other full-bloods.” Old Kingdom Hittite. Desiree smirked.“I am not here under the orders of Katrina, Sabia,” Desiree finally identified my attacker. “I am here under the orders of Hayden, who has plans to breed with this male.” Old Kingdom Hittite.“Your willingness to deny her this pleasure will be noted,” Desiree smirked. “Cáel, did it ever occur to you that there would be separate gyms for the different status groups?” she looked back to me. At this point, Elsa motioned for two members of the security detail to take Yasmin away. All that followed was in Old Kingdom Hittite, the language of the Amazons.“Initially no. I figured it out right before the shit hit the fan. Not being a bigot, I didn’t take into account the bigotry of others,” I sighed. I wasn’t working on a fan base directly. I had to walk that fine line between 'highly spirited male’ and 'blasphemous intruder’.“They are not bigots,” Desiree interrupted the dark mutterings. “They are the Master Race.”“His insolence is infecting you,” Elsa said as she stood.“That is insulting,” Desiree mocked. “He inspires me. This is no disease. He is a living example of defiance against all odds. In case any of you missed it that was our genesis as a people.”“He shames me by showing with his own wit and blood that I should only give respect to those who show it to me and I should bow to no other. You had best earn his respect because he will not subject himself to your undeserved pride, numbers be damned,” Desiree declared.“He angers me with his jokes and cutting commentary. He also angers me for pointing out the sickness in our own ranks. You have become more prideful than competent. His greatest joke is not that he will die for his beliefs, it is that he risks so much out of compassion for us. He will not let our poisoned lineage limp on a few more decades if he cannot aid in our salvation.”'We don’t need you, this male, or any of your thoughts, half-blood,’ was the general mood of the room.“Revel in your superiority while being restricted to breeding with inferior males,” Desiree chuckled. “Again, your condescension is ridiculously absurd.”“I will breed with Cáel and have many fine daughters. You, who can still breed,” Desiree rubbed it in, “will have daughters who are even less than you. I’m sure my granddaughters will be suitably impressed with your prestige when they read about it in the scrolls.”“We cannot kill you for your abuse, but we can certainly mark you for the offenses,” Elsa smirked.“Cáel, to my side,” Desiree snapped. I struggled to stand. The medic tried to stop me.“You will tear your staples if you exert yourself,” the medic told me.“While my heart still beats, I must answer my Sister’s call to battle,” I explained to the woman. She let me struggle to my feet. I did my best to not topple into either Desiree or Elsa.“He is so wrecked he can barely stand,” one woman joked to another. In a flash, Desiree shot the speaker in the thigh, causing her to scream out and tumble to the ground.“By all means, jump up and attack me,” Desiree mocked her. “It took the male seven seconds to regain his feet. I am sure we all await your superior effort.”The woman did stand back up, shrugging off assistance as she did. I doubt she was faster than me though.“That’s nice,” Desiree continued. “You are a pure-blood. You look to be fit and excellently built. You and Cáel both have a wounded left leg. He has had the ever-living crap beaten out of him, so feel free to attack him when you are ready.”The woman looked to me then back to Desiree.“What? I need medical attention,” the woman protested.“Fine. Cáel, attack Blythe (the wounded woman),” Desiree directed.“Why?” I grunted.“Because I told you to,” Desiree chuckled. We’d been down this road before.“Ah - she’s wounded and not attacking either of us,” I reason, “so I’ll have to decline.”“There you have it, Morons,” Desiree shouted. “Had you told Cáel he was doing something wrong, he would have apologized and left.”“Had you told him to sit down and wait for a superior to show up, he would have,” Desiree continued. “But no, you had to attack him. When he had the temerity to defend himself, you closed in like a pack of jackals and let him get battered into unconsciousness. You were so eager to stomp on a male outside the public view none of you took a moment to think.”“This isn’t over between you and me,” Elsa glared at Desiree. A whispered ripple moved through the crowd. Amazons moved aside, opening a large lane from the door to us. Two bodyguards led the way. Desiree quickly pulled out her gun’s clip, chambered out the last round and placed her pistol on the mat. All around weapons were put down, not dropped.Hayden came forward flanked by another bodyguard and a female attendant.“Cáel, to my side,” she commanded evenly. I weaved to her right side. “Kneel.” I nearly face-planted I was so overwhelmed by pain.“Tegan, please tell me what is going on,” Hayden addressed the most senior member present.The woman stepped forward and gave her own, skewed, version of events.“I have already misused too much time on this male’s behalf,” Hayden mused. “My only conclusion drawn from all these issues is that I am the Spiritual Leader of a bunch of prejudiced, arrogant, conceited cunts,” she finished angrily.“Please explain to me how one male barely a month out of a rural, tiny college in the middle of nowhere has bewildered so many of my women?” Hayden scanned the room.“He attacked me,” Sabia complained.“Maybe that will teach you to not attack an opponent who has eighteen centimeters and thirty kilograms on you,” Hayden sighed.“Especially, by your own admission, you knew he and another woman were practicing an intricate martial art you were unfamiliar with,” Hayden appeared strict and maternal. “Don’t give me 'he was a male’ either. All complaints concerning the 'New Directive’ are to be directed to Katrina, Tessa, or myself.”“We are not a pack of hyenas who lash out wildly, without consideration for our laws,” she declared.“We must defend ourselves,” Tegan insisted.“Yes,” Hayden nodded. “I agree. Your point would be?”“He attacked Sabia,” Tegan pointed out.“I am well aware of that,” Hayden related patiently. “Sabia launched an unprovoked attacked, refused to explain herself and didn’t take the presence of a guest into account. What would you have done in the same situation?”“He is a man,” Tegan stated.“He is a man. He is also a Havenstone employee, a servant of Katrina and a part of a program I have initiated,” Hayden kept at it. “What do you suggest? I instruct the males to stand patiently while you slit their throats? We would rapidly run out of men to recruit.”“In case you have forgotten the discussion that leads to our extinction,” Hayden grew chilly. “By all means throw yourself off the top of the building. Do not expect me to do the same, or welcome your attempt to murder my offspring with your intransigent. Cáel, how many days is it now?” she teased me.“76 Hayden,” I responded, “though I still plan to spend that first night with Buffy.”“Still more afraid of her than me?” Hayden openly joked with me. Cold-ass woman.“I’m starting to think she’s gene-spliced with a lady-jaguar,” I confessed. “Not only does she make these spooky growling noises, she perches over doors I frequently use.”There was a hush over the room.“Oh Goddess, Sisters,” Hayden groaned. “Its levity. He is not being serious - you know, being playful and amusing to lessen the stress of a situation. Cáel, stop trying to get yourself killed. Many of these women could greatly benefit some time with you.”“With, or without weapons?” I looked up. Hayden swatted my hair.“Bad!” Hayden waggled a finger in my face. “Bad Male! Bad!” She look to the stunned/amused assembly. “This is really all it takes.”“He called us unworthy,” another Amazon spoke up.“And his opinion of you would matter - why?” Hayden looked at the woman.“He said he would only bow before the Worthy,” another woman persisted. Hayden groaned.“You really are a problem,” Hayden looked at me with frightening compassion.“I apologize,” I said obsequiously.“If you want Cáel to kneel, call Katrina and convince her to make you Cáel’s boss. Then he will kneel, follow, leap in front of bullets, punch your enemies, play with your children, or get your lunch. It is what he does and he’s done all that before and more. If you want to make him jump, take ten minutes out of your busy lives and use a phone,” Hayden scanned the room.“Can I return to my dinner, or is there another bout of insanity that I need to deal with?” Hayden pleasantly menaced the room.“Ummm, Hayden,” I asked softly, “are medical people coming for the three women who were shot.” I got a pat on the head.“Yes they are. It was very much 'you’ to ask. Now stop stressing your wounded leg,” she smiled. “From what I understand you have slept with three different women in the past 48 hours, plus roughhousing with three children for half a day. For a man who has been wounded as much as you have, I would think you would have more common sense where recovery was concerned.”“I’ll endeavor to be less of a problem…for what’s that worth,” I grinned. Another swat on the head. Hayden made a brief goodbye to the group then left the room. The looks I was getting told volumes. They hadn’t forgiven me for deciding to fight back. That was too much to ask. What I was getting was embarrassment. They had acted stupidly and knew it.They had been in such a rush to reassert their superiority they had forgotten to engage their brains. In hindsight, what was I going to do? Fight them all? Make a break for it? Had they calmly exerted their authority, I would have acquiesced. I would have clearly embraced that option. Once they enjoined violence, they had backed me into a corner.At that point, they couldn’t win. They didn’t have the time to break me and no amount of damage I sustained would change the equation. I knew I was going to get beaten so there was no incentive for me to do anything but fight. I had fought Rhada and Madi after all. Best of all, their irrational actions had been highlighted by their highest official.There were a few 'he should have submitted’. Those speakers weren’t convincing anyone, even themselves. Their tame males would have bowed down. Hell, they wouldn’t have been in this position in the first place. With pain and blood, I was starting to make inroads. Amazons didn’t have a version of the French Foreign Legion at Camarón, or the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae.Sacrifice was occasionally necessary, but not celebrated. This was not to say giving your life for another wasn’t appreciated. It was, yet the emphasis was on killing your enemy before such a deed was inevitable. Vastly outnumbered throughout their history, the lessons they drilled into the next generation was one of killing your enemy swiftly.Going toe to toe with your foes was a luxury they could not afford. Numbers and ill-fortune could be calamitous. The Amazons in the gym saw nothing wrong with the Elsa having a spear while I had nothing. In the same way, they had no problem with 'how’ I attacked Sabia, only that I had attacked her at all.It had been foolish of Sabia to turn her back on me, not knowing who I was. Had they been in my position, they would have hit her from behind too. What they did value was loyalty, martial valor and respect. Betraying a fellow Amazon was probably a horrific crime to them. Personal grievances were most likely dealt with internally with the declaration of a blood feud.Martial valor - well, duh. They were Amazons. I was willing to bet every one of the new male recruits had some sort of combative ability. Tessa and Katrina would not want to dump neophytes into this cauldron without some sort of defensive training. Their system of respect was an elaborate structure I had barely pierced.Prestige/blood purity was important, yet clearly competence counted as well. Hayden, Katrina and Tessa were all scary-smart. The last two were pretty young for their critical

Hey y'all and happy Thanksgiving! Kat reminds us why this is a particularly distasteful holiday with an overview of King Phillip's War or the First Indian War. Kaleigh then wraps up her two part series on the Klondike Gold rush, this time covering the fall and the aftermath.Talk to us!Twitter: @TINAHLpodcastEmail: Thisisnotahistorylecture@gmail.comRemember to rate us wherever you can!

What's up everyone and sorry for the delay on the description, Kaleigh's b ad at her job. Kat gets us in the Thanksgiving mood with a look at the real history behind the holiday with her coverage of the actual first Thanksgiving. Kaleigh then starts another two part series, this time on the Klondike Gold Rush, the second largest gold rush in North American history.Talk to us!Twitter: @TINAHLpodcastEmail: Thisisnotahistorylecture@gmail.comRemember to rate us wherever you can!

November 2, 2022 - Rev. John Campbell - What Would Jesus Do... For A Klondike Bar by Acadia Divinity College

FaithChurch.CC uses creative and practical methods to teach Biblical principles. Join thousands of other people who are inspired to believe, grow, and serve in Jesus Christ every week. Visit www.faithchurch.cc/live for Church Online Sundays at 11AM EST.

A fun night at the Klondike Bar goes awry, first with a stranger being rescued from the cold, then with a mean brute shooting up the place and kidnapping that same stranger! It's up to Mickey and his pal Pluto to rescue this stranger (Minnie) from the brute (Pete), but does this little mouse have what it takes to take on such a large foe? And perhaps more importantly, is this adventure one worth watching? Listen to find out! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/howsitholdup/support

The Ouija Board that we know and love (or dread!) today has been around since the 1890s. However, “talking boards” were part of historic civilizations around the world for centuries. A board was once used in ancient Rome to predict the next king. Across the globe, spirit writing was a common method for communicating with the dead in China before it was outlawed nearly a century ago. It's clear that people have been trying to use boards to contact the other side for a very long time. People of the Victorian era were no exception and they were especially fascinated by ghosts and the supernatural. Many individuals followed a movement called “spiritualism”: the belief that the spirits of the dead are present all around us and, when prompted, can communicate with the living. The spread of spiritualism across North America and throughout Europe was accompanied by a rise in consumer goods and new inventions. Products that promised to prove the existence of spirits and offered an opportunity to commune with deceased loved ones were being marketed all of the time. While many people genuinely believed in spiritual communication from an invisible realm, some business people looking to take advantage of the trend swiftly cashed in. The modern Ouija Board that we've become familiar with was patented by Elijah Bond. The business venture of making and selling the boards in the United States was signed over to the Kennard Novelty Company in 1891 (and the International Novelty Company in Canada in the same year). People adhering to the spiritualist movement of the Victorian era were already using talking boards but Bond's “Ouija Board” was the first widespread commercial attempt to make money on the idea. A combination of good timing and smart marketing ensured the Ouija Board would become a resounding success. If you'd like to follow us on social media, check out our linktree @thecreepshowchronicles you can also find all of our listening platforms there as well (For future recommendations you can email us at thecreepshow18@gmail.com.Thanks for listening to the Creepshow. Stay creepy, byeeeeee! Sources: https://hauntedwalk.com/news/the-strange-history-of-the-ouija-board/ https://www.baltimoremagazine.com/section/artsentertainment/the-dark-and-fascinating-history-of-the-ouija-board-baltimore-origins/ https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-strange-and-mysterious-history-of-the-ouija-board-5860627/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouija

We talked about favorite ice cream truck treats on the full Show today and Thor claimed that every time someone eats a Klondike bar it shatters into a million pieces and Eddie said NO IT DOESN'T! Well, we put it to the test in today's P1 Podcast.

You've heard the jingle "what would you do - o - o for a Klondike Bar?" haven't you? Well, turns out Klondike's aren't the only thing people are asking that question about. In an episode that was recorded five hours from home, we take a look this week at Subway Sandwiches, and the surprising things people will do to get their hands on a free one. SPOILER ALERT: it involves ink and needles.#FakePizzaTopping Facts is featured Support the show

Monty & Jake are talking PAC 12 Expansion, or better yet, PAC 12 survival, and the fate of the Utah Utes! As the PAC 12 tries to find their best path forward, what is the best move for the Utah Utes? Is a move to the Mountain West Conference realistic for the Utah Utes? How much influence or control do the Utah Utes have over their situation? If the PAC 12 can keep UCLA in conference, should the Utah Utes consider staying put in the PAC 12? Why do Utah Jazz fans think Donovan Mitchell wants to leave Salt Lake City? Has Donovan Mitchell ever indicated he wanted to leave the Utah Jazz? There seems to be a feeling among Utah Jazz fans that Donovan Mitchell is leaving, sooner or later, and that the Utah Jazz will suffer another star walking away from the club, but what has Donovan Mitchell said or done to indicate he wants to leave the Utah Jazz. The New York Knicks are facing a tampering investigation related to their signing of Jalen Brunson, and many are wondering how the NBA will be able to prove there was tampering by the New York Knicks with so many family ties between the New York Knicks and Jalen Brunson. New York Knicks President Leon Rose is the God Father of Jalen Brunson, Jalen Brunson's Father, Rick Brunson is an Asst Coach with the New York Knicks...can the NBA actually prove tampering with such close ties at the dinner table? DeShaun Watson got a six game suspension from the NFL yesterday, and many are furious the penalty was so light. But did the arbitrator have a choice? With a history of little to no punishment for similar crimes or incidents, Judge Sue Robinson found. DeShaun Watson also used the 'towel trick', where he would bring a hand towel or wash cloth to cover himself, to gain more exposure to the women providing massage service to DeShaun Watson. Should the NFL take action and suspend DeShaun Watson further? Does it matter that DeShaun Watson refusing to admit wrong doing, or even admit his conduct caused damage to his accusers, have any impact on the course of action from the NFL? Today is National Ice Cream Sandwich day and that has Monty & Jake contemplating their favorite deserts, and who has the best Ice Cream Sandwich? Is it a Fat Boy? Is it a Klondike Bar? What flavor of ice cream sandwich are you a fan of? Let's discuss! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram: TheMontyShow & SLCSupercars Our Amazon Essentials List: The Best Protein Bars EVER!: https://amzn.to/3D9wQGv 10 Calorie 1G Sugar ...Rockstar Recovery: https://amzn.to/2WgUQa4 A $10 Must Have For The Back Yard! https://amzn.to/3w7e6ox Dots Pretzels Are Amazing! https://amzn.to/3r3mxiV Yes, You Should Wear A Mask: https://amzn.to/3kbTKor Your Car Is A Mess! https://amzn.to/3LfsvoY AirPod Pro's Are On Sale!! https://t.co/ooLOAN7Qr5 Core Water: https://amzn.to/3rVDMUc Cholestoff Heart Supplement: https://amzn.to/3uQFOXw CoQ10 Vitamin Supplement: https://amzn.to/3HZ4ErJ Ashwagandha! https://amzn.to/3u3rCdf

Weekend update Sunday…Author Renee Casteel Cook of “The Columbus Food Truck” , “Meet Maddie”, etc. is back with “The Ohio Ice Cream Truck” on how the Buckeye State has whipped up an ice cream industry worthy of tourism with some tasty stories and the story behind the ice cream cone, banana split, the Good Humor Man and the famous Klondike Bar (what would you do for one?)! Renee shares her tasty experiences on this famous American summer pastime and you check her latest on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and www.reneecasteelcook.comtoday! #reneecasteelcook #author #icecream #theohioicecreamtruck #buckeyestate #icecreamcone #bananasplit #goodhumorman #klondikebar #amazon #audible #iheartradio #spreaker #spotify #itunes #applemusic #youtube #anchorfm #podbean #mikewagner #themikewagnershow #mikewagnerreneecasteelcook #themikewagnershowreneecasteelcook --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/support

Weekend update Sunday…Author Renee Casteel Cook of “The Columbus Food Truck” , “Meet Maddie”, etc. is back with “The Ohio Ice Cream Truck” on how the Buckeye State has whipped up an ice cream industry worthy of tourism with some tasty stories and the story behind the ice cream cone, banana split, the Good Humor Man and the famous Klondike Bar (what would you do for one?)! Renee shares her tasty experiences on this famous American summer pastime and you check her latest on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and www.reneecasteelcook.comtoday! #reneecasteelcook #author #icecream #theohioicecreamtruck #buckeyestate #icecreamcone #bananasplit #goodhumorman #klondikebar #amazon #audible #iheartradio #spreaker #spotify #itunes #applemusic #youtube #anchorfm #podbean #mikewagner #themikewagnershow #mikewagnerreneecasteelcook #themikewagnershowreneecasteelcook --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/support

"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" is the jingle... but what if the Klondike Bat is named "Juan Soto"?  Let's do a 2022 draft recap plus a discussion on the merits of trying to trade for a superstar like Soto.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Weekend update Sunday…Author Renee Casteel Cook of “The Columbus Food Truck” , “Meet Maddie”, etc. is back with “The Ohio Ice Cream Truck” on how the Buckeye State has whipped up an ice cream industry worthy of tourism with some tasty stories and the story behind the ice cream cone, banana split, the Good Humor Man and the famous Klondike Bar (what would you do for one?)! Renee shares her tasty experiences on this famous American summer pastime and you check her latest on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and www.reneecasteelcook.com today! #reneecasteelcook #author #icecream #theohioicecreamtruck #buckeyestate #icecreamcone #bananasplit #goodhumorman #klondikebar #amazon #audible #iheartradio #spreaker #spotify #itunes #applemusic #youtube #anchorfm #podbean #mikewagner #themikewagnershow #mikewagnerreneecasteelcook #themikewagnershowreneecasteelcook

We are big brand people here on KLUC, and we want to know what you would do for a lifetime supply of your favorite brand. We're afraid some of you might off your mother for some Nike socks, but hey if that's you, they can send the socks to prison too! 

What would you do for a Klondike bar? It's such a great slogan, isn't it? Some of the funniest or craziest things have been done all in the name of being given a free Klondike bar in return. "I would hug a cactus" or "I would walk around Times Square like a monkey", and things like this. They've even made a game out of it, which I'm dying to play. Well...I have a different question. What would I do for eternal life? Throughout Jesus' ministry, he continues to ask hard questions, calling for us to decide, "would I do this for Jesus?" Would we be persecuted? Love our enemy? Give up our things? Deny ourselves? These are questions that we have to answer - and so I ask you - what would you do for eternal life? 

This week the bad news is for indie devs, with two reports calling out toxic behavior at four beloved indie studios. What We're Playing Cliff: Kentucky Route Zero, Tunic Colby: Young Souls, BotW, Bowser's Fury News Maybe Video Games Were a Bad Idea? This is a Very Smart Way to Solve a Very Stupid Problem Fortnite Turned Off Building I'm Into, Oh Murders and Executions Mostly The Wii and DS eShops Are Both Down Epic is Donating A LOT of Money to Ukraine I Am Getting Even More Excited for my Steam Deck Questions DA VINSTER: What video game franchise (Not Mario) do you think would best transition into an amusement park? One Family Friendly and One aimed more at adults. Joe Coleslaw: What would you do for a Klondike Bar? More than likely, I would do MORE for a chance to play Elden Ring. ShadoughX (Josh): Should there be a stigma around gamers spending money on F2P games on a mobile device (or other consoles)? People often make fun of me or others for spending money on or even playing free games like Raid Shadow Legends. How do we stop the poison from getting in the well? *monotone screaming*: Do you think there are some games better suited to be turned into movies? Or do you think they should be like the Sonic movie where there is a storyline not related to the game itself? Mansocks: What is your favorite "one more turn" game. You know the ones.. one more turn...oops 3 am. Cheap/Free Games Epic Games Demon's Tilt Xbox Game Pass Tunic - 3/16 Paradise Killer -3/16 Kraken Academy (Cloud, Console, and PC) – March 22 – Game Pass Tainted Grail: Conquest (Console) ID@Xbox – March 22 Zero Escape: The Nonary Games (Cloud, Console, and PC) – March 22 Norco (PC) ID@Xbox – March 24 F1 2021 (Console) EA Play – March 24 Crusader Kings III (Xbox Series X|S) ID@Xbox – March 29 Weird West (Cloud, Console, and PC) ID@Xbox – March 31 Leaving Game Pass 3/30 Madden NFL 20 (Cloud, Console, and PC) EA Play Narita Boy (Cloud, Console, and PC) Shadow Warrior 2 (Cloud, Console, and PC) Humble Bundle https://www.humblebundle.com/stand-with-ukraine-bundle Nintendo Online Super Fantasy Zone Alien Soldier Light Crusader Lord of the Rings MMO https://www.pcgamer.com/free-to-play-mmo-lord-of-the-rings-online-is-getting-more-generous/ Patreon John Tippins Sean Palmer Austin Palmer Alan Schulte Joe Cole Jr. Anonymous Rich Deacon Extra Life https://bytemepodcast.com/extralife/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/byte-me-podcast/message

Do you remember the old Klondike Bar tv commercials that asked the question, “What would you do for a Klondike Bar?” They were silly but got to the point that the ice cream was so good you would do just about anything for it. The question then is, “what would you do for your one?” How far would you go to see them trust Christ as their Savior? Would you get up early, stay up late, get out of your comfort zone, change your schedule just to be able to share with them the message of the gospel? Join us this Sunday as we hear from our guest preacher, John Bourgeious as he challenges us with the question What Would We Do for Our One? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

what would u do for a klondike bar (bizarre rendition). what would you doo oooo ooo for a klondike barrrrrrwhat would you do ooo oo for a klondike barr!Would you act like a chicken or quack like a duck?Would stand in the middle of the road and screeaaaam…what would you dooo oooo oooooo for a … what would u do for a klondike bar (bizarre rendition) Read More »

New Year and New Season. We answer these tough questions; Best and Worst Holiday Candy and Treats? If you could be an Olympic champion, your the best in the world at….? New flavor of water? What can McDonald's add to there menu? Rename: Burger King, Hammers, and Pencils. What would Aaron do for a Klondike Bar? Would You Rather Eat A Small Can Of Dog Food Or Six Overripe Bananas? What's the color of the/a mirror?

The plan was to talk about what we'd do for a Klondike bar. Instead we discuss IceQueen's new hair, Doc's drinking habits, also how to get Doc to pay for your dinner on the first date, Bizzle's fav word in German, as well as he agrees to get a Bro-zilian, and how to get drinks bought for you. So maybe next time we'll tell you what we would do for a Klondike bar! Talk to y'all after the holidays!

SCHOOL!!FAIR reportAaron's still alive after first week of schoolCHROMEBOOKS have arrived8 person football updatePistol offense Open houseSegue! They bought Brandon food Klondike Bar and their ridiculous slogan Where's all the chocolate in Willy Wonka?Wonka BarsTrain Car on the Mo State Fair GroundsMain topic! Watch a Sci-Fi filmCollinMinority ReportAaronDeep Blue SeaDistrict 9The AbyssBrandonEx MachinaWatch this instead: The Island, or Chappie

Your hosts: The Millennial Prince (B Mo the Prince of Tik Tok fame) and The Badass Chick (radio's Loren Raye) chat about life, liberty and the pursuit of the 90s. Follow us on social! @bmotheprince + @lorenrayeB Mo fills us in on his trip to Miami that included a visit to the ER, and then we're super pumped that Bennifer is back and Britney might be getting freed. We thank everyone for listening, and then admit to the things we hate about our spouses (sorry guys we really do love you). Finally, Weirdo of the Week involves a Klondike Bar. On a semi-personal but very serious note, Loren saw a guy on the highway who needs a kidney. So if you're blood type O and you want to give this person your kidney, call (908)-322-0344. And finally, on a housekeeping note, we're taking a little break and revamping the show, so we'll see ya in September! PODCAST EPISODE SUMMARY-B Mo's visit to the ER-Bennifer's back & #FreeBritney is coming-Thank you for listening-Things that make us hate our spouses (sorry guys)-Weirdo of the Week-Loren saw a guy who needs a kidney RECOMMENDED RESOURCESwww.bmotheprince.com@bmotheprincewww.lorenraye.com@lorenraye

Hope everyone had a Happy 4th of July! We get back into it with some of the hot topics of the week and bring some of the best (and most disgusting) of Urban Dictionary.

in todays episode, we do our own version of "What would you do for a Klondike bar". Listen to this and many of our other FUNNY. RanDom. ShiT. episodes

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Would you pull a Kanye and do anything for a Klondike? Hmmm...these are the things we think about...must be another nothing filled episode of the Six Feet Under Studios Podcast! Welcome back with Alex & Cesar and listen as we ask the worlds toughest dumbest questions! Would you purchase bath water? Breakfast or Brunch? What would you do to go to Western Playland? All these and more on this brand new episode! So sit back, relax, grab a cold one and enjoy! Thank You to our Sponsors! Old Sheepdog Brewery: 3900 Rosa Ave, El Pas, Texas 79905 Vitola's Cigar & Whiskey: 216 W. Franklin Ave, El Paso, Texas 79901 White Knife Dining: El Paso, Texas

Today, Ronn gets the wonderful pleasure of teaching, well explaining, Chad some new tricks to spice up his sex life! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/isitweird/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/isitweird/support

After being traumatized by having to explain the President's sex tape to his mother... Adam is inspired to test Tyler and Dave the Angry Mailman on their knowledge of the names of unspeakable bedroom activities... 

In this episode, Austin and Chris discuss the features and qualities that make a hero a hero. We speak about Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, Deadpool, Anti-Heroes, Villains, and what would happen if Christopher Nolan directed a Klondike Bar commercial. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week we two amazing cigars from Blackbird Cigars: The Finch & Rook. We pair the cigars with Bumbu Xo Rum. There is a great interview with Jonas from Blackbird Cigars. Melissa says she would pay Al for sex and Al would do anything for a Klondike Bar plus much more at www.thegoodcigar.com

Move over Klondike® Bar, I’m here to tell you nobody can beat a fast and easy homemade ice cream bar covered in chocolate and nuts. Buy a pint of your favorite ice cream. Slice the pint, container and all, into four slices, then peel off the container strip along the edge. Freeze those slices for a half-hour. Meanwhile, melt 2 cups of bittersweet chocolate chips and stir in 3 tablespoons of refined coconut oil. Dip each frozen slice in the chocolate mixture so it’s completely covered, sprinkle chopped nuts or diced fruit on the top side and freeze the slices again for a half-hour. You will be loved, possibly worshiped—I’m just saying. Photo: theimpulsivebuy/Flickr, creative commons The post Make Your Own Chocolate-Covered Ice Cream Sandwiches the Easy Way appeared first on Faith Middleton's Food Schmooze.Support the show: https://foodschmooze.org/donate/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New mics, new topics, new us. This week on the Good Gravy Podcast we were flooded with topics submitted by YOU on Facebook. Join us, as we talk about Wonder Woman, Tiny Food Videos and Burger King's Mac N' Cheetos. Things get real CRAZY once we start talking about dry shampoo, microwaves and what we would do for a Klondike Bar. You won't wanna miss this...or maybe you do...really it's up to you. Follow us on twitter @GravyPodcast. Submit your topics to #GoodGravyTopic. Your topic could be on the show! MUSIC Life of Riley by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1400054 Artist: http://incompetech.com/

There's only one, iron-clad, sure-fire, can't-miss, hyphen-toting method to finishing a screenplay in only six weeks. Fortunately, we know the secret and are willing to share it with you (for less than $600). The trick is, in order for it to work, you have to follow the 1,008-step process exactly or it doesn't work. If you think you're up for the challenge, listen to the episode. We'll also need all of your credit card information, your blood type and what you'd do for a Klondike Bar. Beyond sharing the trick to writing a script in a month and a half, we'll answer a few screenwriting questions about the nature of negotiating a script fee and laugh about the supposed ban on jokes that Warners has set up for its superhero movies. You should follow the show (@brokenprojector), Geoff (@drgmlatulippe) and Scott (@scottmbeggs) on Twitter for more on a daily basis.