Encourage the Good

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing that you did, mattered?”  “That about sums it up for me."Covid 19 has seen many of us feeling trapped in our own version of Groundhog Day. The calendar does tick over for us but the rhythm of our lives has been disrupted. The weeks lose their distinctiveness and one day bleeds into another.There are days when I have found it hard to be motivated because every single thing on my to do list could be done tomorrow. 

Poetry can give us an epiphany. A different perspective or sudden appreciation of understanding something in a new or clear way.Historical narrative can also give insight, sometimes through recorded observation, sometimes through myth and legend of how unexpected events or experiences brought an epiphany. Archimedes in his bath, Issac Newton heading the apple, Mendeleev's periodic dream, Einstein on the street car in Bern all produced incredible new insights that shape our understanding of the world. I know a number of wise men and women around the world who are seeking and still haven't found what they are looking for. I pray that this will be the time when their thirst is quenched with living water. I hope that in 2022 we will all be marked by this curiosity to know and experience more of the Lord and a fresh commitment and desire to act on what we know.Without curiosity we will not have an epiphany!

Projecting strength and preserving image can too easily become a fashion in leadership as well as design.  If we be obsess over our own perfection we will project unrealistic expectations on others and have no way to process failure or deal with trauma. This vulnerability and honesty is one of the things I appreciate about the Psalms. The Psalms have been helpful in affirming the reality of help in struggle and the light of the Lord's love through darkness. While we do not know all that is coming or understand all that is going on we do have a choice about how we respond and that does impact and affect what happens next. Romanticised pietism will not prevail through adversity. The Psalms give a perspective of praise that is both realistic and real. If being battered by troubles punctures our pathetic perfectionism and breaks its tyranny we will be better off for it. God is with us and because of his mercy, grace and hope we are not demoralised or defeated.

Most of us get to a place where we can begin to coast, we have put in the hard yards to get up the hill and now we can free wheel the final stretch. We can hold onto what we've got and think it doesn't matter if we make it or not, especially if we feel we are well over half way there.I am yet more thankful how the number 99 reminds me that there is further to go and more to do. 

Ministry is not a career. It is not better to be the pastor a large church in a city or a small rural parish, it is not more significant to be the President of an organisation or the junior administrator. The key thing is to serve and to use whatever platform you have to advance others and encourage their growth.

The relationship between the little guy and the son of encouragement is a fascinating example of leadership development and helpfully identifies some key issues around encouragement. I am struck by five of these lessons from The Barnabas Files. I will share three of these today and save two for tomorrow.

The soundtrack of my life has a playlist pressed through memories and reflects my loyalties, passions and choices. My songbook is full of my greatest hits, the archeology of my tastes reveals many clues to my identity. What is different about this new song is that is sung to the Lord and it is for everybody. It is to be sung in the present but it's melody is timeless. It is not for special days or occasions but is to be proclaimed day after day.

Paul and Silas endured all this. They could have asserted their rights as Roman Citizenship when they were being accused of being Jewish agitators subverting Roman law and order. But instead they gave up their rights and freedoms and endured suffering. What happened to them was unfair but their response is shaped by their citizenship of heaven rather than that of Rome. Instead of being angry at their treatment and protesting they pray and rather than planning revenge or scheming to sue, they sing. In the darkness and pain, they turn to the Lord.

 What do you do in leadership when things do not pan out as you expected they might or you hoped they would? It is easier if there is someone to blame but harder when people are looking to you and wondering what is going on. We can have an easy out if “circumstances beyond our control” provide a ready excuse. New beginnings are frequently fraught and change is always challenging but at least someone knows what is going on. I need the humility to give up on plan A and to not defend plan B but to look for the new opportunity that will I believe always open.

I do not remember as a child asking on car journeys if we were nearly there yet. But pretty much every hill I have ever climbed I get excited that the next ridge is going to be the top or at the very least will allow a peek of the peak and I become piqued when it is not. Discouragement only turns to defeat when we give up on the climb. A pause does not indicate doubt or despair but may in fact be an opportunity to enjoy the view. The encouragement in the hills is that while keeping going for the summit we can turn around and see how far we have come

The love and faithfulness of the Lord are to be proclaimed and celebrated from when we wake at dawn to when we sleep at night. Our worship responds to the Lord's greatness, impressive work and superior knowledge.The thing I find helpful about this is that it expresses truths about God. The joy is not conjured from within but is rooted in the person and work of the Lord. My feelings change day by day and hour by hour. The Lord does not change. Better that I sing his melody in his key than hum my own dissonant tune. 

Today marks Canada's first National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. It is long overdue. The date was picked to coincide with Orange Shirt Day an indigenous grass roots initiative honouring the lost children and the survivors of Canada's Residential Schools system. Recent discoveries of unmarked children's graves in the grounds of a number of former residential schools has brought this shameful history into the spotlight but it only confirms what many indigenous people have been saying for years.Today is a day to listen and understand the truth of what happened and its enduring impact. Without truth there can be no reconciliation. It is also a day to embrace and celebrate indigenous culture, express solidarity and advocate for action. Inequality, injustice, abuse, violence and discrimination continue to be present realities for many indigenous people.As a newcomer to Canada I am still listening and trying to learn. 

“Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.” Like soldiers we often cannot see how the battle is progressing, our immediate experience in the conflict can be encouraging or depressing, frightening or exhilarating. The call is to keep going, to join in suffering and endure. We do not have the luxury of questioning why the advance is not going better, complaining about our mission or longing for civilian life.  

We do not spend time and give to people because of their potential. We do not engage in student ministry primarily because we are working with the leaders of tomorrow but because we care about the youth of today. In the economy of God many of these young men and women will have a growing influence but we can never predict what the future holds. Our primary motivation is not strategic significance but love. Some acts of kindness and generosity have implications through the generations.

I do not expect to see either my children or my parents all the time but I do not enjoy not seeing being able to see them at all. The problem with having family scattered around the globe is that it tends to be a famine or a feast.Paul writing to the Philippians tells them that he has learned the secret of being content in every situation. He is commenting on his circumstances but doing so in the context of an important relationship that had been interrupted and has now been restored. The recipe for contentment that Paul is talking about is not circumstantial. He has experienced both times of plenty and of need. He is familiar with the famine and the feast. I find it much easier to be happy with my lot in times of abundance. 

Little Canada was founded by Jean-Louis Brenninkmeijer an immigrant who had a vision to build a model world inspired by a visit to Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg. He reached out to model railway clubs to try to find people with the skills to develop the idea. He met Dave MacLean a civil engineer who had a life long passion for model railways. I am always interested in the collaboration that can emerge when people with vision have the humility to recognise their limitations and seek specialist help and technical expertise. In this case their shared enthusiasm has grown a community that has opened a world.

One of the things which I have remarked on during this long and difficult pandemic is that we are all in the same storm but we are not all in the same boat. The impact of covid 19 has varied enormously through geographic, ethnicity, personal circumstance and life stage.We are particularly concerned about the disproportionate impact of the past two years on young people, especially those in their mid-teens to early twenties. While COVID interrupted life in some way for all of us, it has deprived many young people of experiences that will never come their way again.We are committed to finding more opportunities to reach those we have missed and to bless those who have missed out.The gospels remind us that faith can grow in the middle of storms when we encounter Jesus. 

 From our earliest experience of teams being picked in the playground at school we learn that being big, fast, strong, skilful, funny or popular are the qualities that get you chosen. God's selection process does not follow the same pattern.Today I am thankful for the grace of God. I am grateful that God's choice is not based on my qualifications but is rooted in his great love.I am thankful that being unqualified is not the same as being disqualified. I appreciate being called into a team and the privilege of playing together.If by some chance we are involved in some thing of significance in our lives and service, the credit for that belongs to the one who chose us. If it all goes wrong and our best efforts turn to custard we have one who is well able to handle that as well.

I have very mixed feelings as we come to the start of another year. 2021 has not been an easy year for many of us. There have been highlights and celebrations of course and we give thanks for these. But for me the year has been overshadowed by disruption, disappointment, deception, division and despair.I pray that as we enter 2022 we will know the Lord's mercy, truth, light and power and that this will frame our perspective as we go forward together.And that we will not lose heart.

The Niagara Falls are breathtaking but white water can also be scaryI have spent a little bit of time on the Amazon. It is a lot wider than the Niagara River and 20% of the fresh water in the world flows through it. As the Amazon meanders it continually adjusts it's course so that charts are out of date almost as soon as they are published. On flatter land water tends to follow the line of least resistance but at times of changes in elevation or the headwaters in the mountains it behaves differently. When under pressure the river has drive, direction and depth.

I have lost the ability to feel instinctively at home anywhere.The flip side of my own sense of misplacement is that I do feel a little at home everywhere. This is also the nature of heavenly citizenship, we have authority given to us to go everywhere from the one who has had all authority given to Him. We become all things to all people to live out the good news right in the middle of their lives, in a language they can read. 

Philemon is a short, personal letter that Paul and Timothy wrote to a friend and fellow worker. It is interesting that Paul does not mention his being an apostle in this epistle but rather greets Philemon as their dear friend.I strongly believe that friendship is the basic building block of effective and fruitful teamwork and meaningful community.The gospel is advanced by groups of friends who work together for a season and continue to care for each other when that time of closer collaboration comes to an end. I was struck again by the message of this letter written by friends to friends. 

Yesterday my friend Arlen was helpfully commenting that having physical or geographical limitations does not mean that we are not able to have a significant impact. The key thing is not what constraints are placed on us but in how we respond to them. There is always the potential to find opportunity and to encourage the good no matter how daunting and difficult our situation.Some of the best and purest wild honey can be discovered in clefts and crannies on rock faces and in caves. The sweetest substance found in some hard places.

Although I have not gone far I definitely feel that I have been on a journey.The debate that propels Phileas Fogg on his epic voyage, around the world in 80 days, takes place in the Reform Club. Some of those considering the possibility of the challenge wish that they could make the journey themselves rather than wagering on it. Jules Verne describes the scene.“The noble lord, confined to his armchair, would have given his whole fortune to be able to travel around the world, in ten years even; and he bet four thousand pounds on Phileas Fogg.” The challenge of my current journey revolves around a constant choice between the armchair and the adventure. There are always excuses that can be made about why we should follow the line of least resistance. Worry can easily lead to analysis paralysis and limit our horizons and our selves. The Danish philosopher and theologian Søren Kierkegaard commenting on this dynamic wrote:“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one's self.... And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one's self.”Faith grows at the intersection of fear and risk

These thoughts were a result of going to live sport for the first time in over a year.The title is intentionally ambiguous because sport is also life to be lived.Many of the seven things I mention also have significant implications for a faith community.It is good to play, to belong and to hope. Perseverance, inspiration, humility and discipline are core values in life and faith as well as sport.What do we love about what we do? What gives us a sense of identity and place in the world? What do we hope for and work towards with energy and enthusiasm? How do we encourage each other to keep going through adversity? Who are our heroes and examples? How do we keep perspective on who we are and how we fit into the team and community? What do we need to give up and focus on to express our commitment? 

Today I had planned to be in Rocky Mountain House in the foothills of the mountains. Pioneer Alberta is celebrating 70 years of camping at The Ranch. My current limitations meant that I had to cancel the trip but I am happy that many friends will be there to give thanks.They say it takes a village to raise a child and it definitely takes a community to run a camp. Through the generations staff and volunteers, have given, prayed, served and helped. The value of this investment over time can only be glimpsed but it is highly significant. Camp is a place where lives are changed as young people encounter God in creation, discover Jesus in the Bible, grow in faith in community and take their first steps in leadership with support. Memories are built as friendships are formed, fellowship shared and fun experienced. It is an environment where creativity can thrive, gifts can be nurtured, character can be formed and resilience can be developed.At our core is a commitment to invest in the next generation.

It is not that this music drowns the wails of Rachel. Rather that songs of jubilant praise and desolate heartache both have a place in our songbook.Christmas brings into focus the extremes of life. Families gathered and separated, laden tables in warm houses and hungry homeless shivering outside, squealing children opening presents at the tree and an empty chair at the table. It is the best of times and the worst of times. Maybe you can see a better time when all your dreams come true but that may just be a fairytale.This dissonance leads to a greater appreciation of the reason for the season. I don't know what song you will be singing this Christmas. If it is lament I pray that the good news of Jesus brings and sings some grace notes to your score. If it a symphony of happiness I hope it will harmonise with the requiems from the margins. I suspect for us it will be a bit of both on Christmas Day. 

My friend Lynda has a series of posts that she calls “Perspective Adjustments” sharing pictures of nature in her neighbourhood that help her see life differently.When I have thoughts in my head repeating “this is not what I signed up for” I need my own perspective shift. There is nothing in my employment contract, marriage vows or Christian commitment that says I will have an easy life and every day will be full of laughter and fun.  I am not sure where I picked up the idea or bought into the myth of the perfect life. It did not come from the Bible. The reality of God meeting people in the midst of trouble is much more the narrative of scripture rather than God guaranteeing people the absence of trouble.

A Special Christmas to you and for you.  I hope this will bring  you a  wee smile.This is a little bit experimental or as my friend Neil would say “a wee bit mental more like”It is a remastered and slightly updated version of the very first pod cast I ever made on Christmas Day last year.Who would have dreamed back then that we would be celebrating another Christmas in the shadow of Covid.

Some ideas on leadership and ministry from “Clarkson's Farm” on Amazon Prime and “The Biggest Little Farm” on NetFlix.“They start by clearing the ground. The farmers believe a natural ecosystem will produce the highest possible level of biodiversity. One of their initial objectives is to get rid of things that never should have been planted in the first place. In New Zealand, I observed a similar focus on regenerating the native flora and fauna to correct problems resulting from imported wildlife and plants. The same observation can be made missiologically: importing ideas and resources from offshore doesn't always help develop ministry that connects with the particular culture of a place. It may in fact do more harm than good in the long term. Secularism, relativism and consumerism have leached the soil of Western society resulting in less receptive ground for the gospel. As churches and mission agencies, we need to recognise how some of our own strategies and ideas may have inadvertently contributed to this demise.  We want to value, build and develop a diverse culture of ministry that is rooted in the ground that we “farm”. This means there are things we need to move away from as we seek to move forward. I believe that Covid has actually accelerated change and underlined our need for innovation, imagination and courage.”

We have a tendency to compare ourselves to people who look like they are doing better than us.  If my security is based on a positive or negative comparison with other people when my circumstances change my strength will fail and my confidence will evaporate.So today I am mindful that meeting with the Lord is the only thing that brings true perspective. I am thankful that when I am unsteady God takes me by my right hand. I am grateful that God tenderly and wisely leads.I am thankful that although I am, at times beleaguered, I am not overwhelmed.

Today I am thankful that I live at a time in history where this promised king has come. I am grateful to have seen more of that better country that the heroes of the faith in the Old Testament were looking forward to. I am thankful that I can read this psalm knowing Jesus and to be able to join today with the chorus of the psalm echoing through history. 

Last night I dreamt I went to Ecuador again. This was at the invitation of Ruth rather than Rebecca and I was not dreaming. I went by Zoom and my entrance was halted for a while not by iron gates but needing a passcode to get in, which was duly provided.I have had the joy of being in Ecuador physically in the past. There has been a long partnership between TSCF in New Zealand and CECE the movement in Ecuador through Ruth, a graduate from New Zealand who went to Ecuador. With her husband and family they have visited New Zealand and I spoke at their National Student Conference a few years ago with the support of the Pacific Partnership Trust. In fact if I had not had been for Ruth rescuing me I would probably even now be wandering around the bus station in Guayaquil, one of the most confusing places I have been in the world.Last night CECE were holding an online training event for their student coordinators around the movement and invited me as an IFES guest to share a story of discipleship. 

It turns out I am much better at accepting other peoples shortcomings than my own. It is not easy for me to accept underachievement, limitations and circumstances I cannot control. I prefer things I can change, and timelines and plans I feel I can manage. Of course this sense of control is mostly illusory at the best of times. There are always some things I can influence the outcome of and many more things that I cannot. One of the big challenges always is working out which is which.Faced with frustrations and adverse circumstances many will offer answers and consolations that prove empty. We need to locate ourselves in a timeline that has tangible hope for the future and a mandate for what to do in the meantime.

ShardsOn wooden benchThe glass lies readySoon stained and fixedHot work and heavyLeaded and cementedFinally raised in placeIlluminating spaceOn sandy beachMore glass is ready Ground down by timeCool work and lightTumbled and saltedPrecious but hiddenWaiting the artist's hand And resurrection

People talk about an emotional roller coaster but some days it feels more like going up and down and round and round with not much forward momentum.Sometimes I compound my own heartache through inflating my expectations. I realise that being more of an optimist leaves me more susceptible to disappointment.Patience may well be a virtue but today I am feeling more frustrated than virtuous.Yet even through my frustration I know that hope, like love, always carries risk and the price is worth paying. it is better to hope and experience disappointment, better to love and know hurt. If we try to avoid the negative consequences by sacrificing these precious things on the alter of self protection our lives will be much emptier. The safer option is not the better bet.

It is a common misconception that dedication will increase commitment and greater time will result in higher productivity. In fact if we value outcomes more than outputs we will understand that high commitment, long hours and limited focus will more likely be a route to fatigue, frustration, conflicted families, divided teams and burnout. I firmly believe that the way a nation, company or organisation treat the lowest level of worker says much more about their vision and values than the way they treat the higher echelons. In any HR decision in leadership I have always considered how change will help those who are worse off than me. I am saddened by the social, economic and racial  inequalities that continue to grow in each of my home nations.Some of my heroes are business people who have gone out of their way to improve the lives of their workers.

This is part of my challenge in reading and understanding the Bible. I am a westerner looking through an urban lens at a book that mostly comes from an agrarian society. Remote places have mattered to God and been part of his plan from the beginning. There are no boonies in the sovereign purposes and love of God. Urban and rural, city and village, nation states, provinces and unceded lands are all included. Sometimes we forget that Jesus was born in an unfashionable area in a little regarded province. What started in the wop-wops  of the Roman Empire spread from Jerusalem, to Judea and Samaria and the ends of the earth, including the places we today know as Scotland, Canada and New Zealand and many points in between.

The highlight of today was being part of an online reunion for those who started the Relay Program in the UK 20 years ago.The virtual reunion today was incredibly moving.  It was fabulous seeing 40 plus faces on screen and listening to their stories. Just in this group we had 12 nations represented as people joined from 5 continents. We heard examples of church leadership, sustainable development, mission, business, education and entrepreneurship. These stories were inspirational in the extent of their impact and in the honesty of their struggles.Together they testify to the grace of God, the influence of a gospel lived and shared, the blessing of friends and family and perseverance born of hope.At it's birth Relay looked like it might be a moment but it has turned out to be a movement.When we started Relay I had no idea what I was really doing. It was not an organised program with a set curriculum. Relay was shaped by a few key ideas and adapted as we went along. I have a page from an old Filofax where five of these ideas are scribbled.

Feeling that we have nothing left to give puts us in a vulnerable position. It is tempting to respond to the aftermath of intensity with escapism, addiction, indulgence, self pity or anger. I am thankful for the reminder that my perspective is skewed by many factors and that the way I see things can be warped and distorted. We need restoration, rest and reset. This may be obvious to us when things have been tough but it is also to be expected after times of growth and encouragement. After our greatest highs we are often at our most vulnerable. This can be true not only of the most significant events in our lives but in the rhythms of our year, month and week. We need to take care of ourselves and watch out for each other.

Leadership is about service not self importance, sacrifice not self actualisation and it is exercised through love not power. Each of us has a part to play, no part is more important than another. It is not better to be a President than a director, more significant to pastor a large church or a small one, more strategic to be running programs or cooking meals at camp. I like watching individual competitors in athletics and tennis but overall I prefer team sports. There is something about a team that works well where the whole becomes more than the sum of the individual parts. One of the challenges of leading a team is working out what contribution each member can make.My preference for team extends to superheroes as well as sports. So I favour The Avengers, The Justice League and The Fantastic Four over the dysfunctional individual even if some of them do recruit lesser associates as companions or helpers. A sidekick is not the same as a team.

There are times in the last three years when I have been afraid and when I have been discouraged. Much of that has been connected with facing opposition, with adapting to a new culture and a new organisation, experiencing loneliness, dealing with the frustration of deficits and making difficult decisions. Just as it looked like there might be light at the end of the tunnel it turned out to be the covid train. We were unexpectedly forced into a new reality of restrictions and limitations.Some words from Joshua at Davidson's Mains turned out to be more significant than we knew at the time.

As yesterday went on I found myself becoming increasingly less positive. It involved me in having to apologise for being a bit grumpy and difficult. We don't get much post so it was nice when Ailsa brought a card back from the mailbox. It was from Ben Carswell with a picture of Otago on the front. He said he was was mostly writing to cheer me up or cheer me on, it was hard to tell from his hand writing I am not sure when it was posted but it arrived at a good time to fulfil his intention.It got me thinking about transition and succession. I am really thankful to have such good relationships with the two people I have handed on significant responsibility to. Andy Shudall with Relay and Ben with TSCF.  It reminded me of some ideas that I scribbled on the back of an envelope in April 2019.It was titled “Lessons Leaving New Zealand”. I decided not to share it at the time in case it sounded like I thought I knew what I was doing in the middle of coming and going. It is a bit of a quick and dirty dozen.It was one of the most liked Counting my Blessings posts.

The best laid plans of mice and menIt feels like every time a plan is starting to solidify it liquifies under changing conditions. Ideas run through my fingers and trickle away.Virtually nothing in the past 18 months has had any resemblance to what I was planning

Today we have two days for the price of one.Our feelings on moving into a new neighbourhood and some thoughts on counting time.When I get something new, like a bottle of shower gel, it seems limitless and there is no need for me to keep track of what I am using. But when the bottle is running out I become much more careful and conscious of making it last.One of the things the pandemic has done for many of us is to deepen our appreciation of the passage of time. They have made us realise that time is more limited than we thought or at least there are more limitations on our time than we anticipated. Months in lockdown, weeks until vaccine shots, days until reopening, have defined a different rhythm to the yearNone of us knows how many days we have. Each one is a gift. It is great celebrate progress, birthdays, anniversaries and milestones but we don't want to live in the past. It is fantastic to look forward to births, weddings, holidays, events and new beginnings but we don't want to wish our lives away.

Aida is from Spain and has been pioneering student ministry in Equatorial Guinea.She is part of the IFES Breaking New Ground Network.An encouraging start was disrupted by the global pandemic but this turned out only to be an interruption as new opportunities have arisen.Aida has been in Canada this week and we took the opportunity to chat before she went to the airport.

This is often the problem when I decide something has to be achieved by a certain date. Frustration and disappointment arise fuelled by my failure to meet a deadline that I am often responsible for inventing myself.Audacious goals can challenge, inspire and move forward but we can also fall into a tyranny of achieving the objective at all costs.I need to take care when my way and my time take on greater urgency than God's way and God's time. Much as I do not like this, my vision and optimism must be tempered by the reality of my circumstances.I need to remind myself that although most things are beyond my control it does not mean they are out of control. I continue to believe that God is working out his purposes for humanity and that I am counted in that number.

Waiting for slow people can be frustrating. Dealing with difficult people takes a lot of time and energy. The influence of a difficult person spreads and impacts others. The resources a difficult person consumes are disproportionate.At the moment I am a difficult person. Now to be fair I would prefer to think about myself as a person in difficulty rather than a difficult person but I am not sure I always make that distinction when dealing with others.

Three dangers to watch out for as we run the race of faithPart of the inspiration of the Paralympics is watching people embrace challenges where many of us in the same situation may well have given up. There is a definite temptation as we get older to take the line of least resistance and to settle. I have days where I am not sure I can face the hassle of the stairs, getting in the car, going to the office and meeting people but I know it is better to move. In leadership you will often hear from people who want things to be done differently. This can be viewed as an irritation but often it can be an agitation. Which comes from the same root as agitos (the symbol of the Paralympic Games). What we experience as stressful upheaval can be an opportunity to shake things up and move beyond what we have grown comfortable with.

 “The words of great coaches fuel great athletes”. Some of the recurrent themes that come through these stories are humility, care, commitment and focus. The coach athlete relationship is about the coach helping the athlete's growth not the athlete enhancing the coach's reputation.InterVarsity and IFES have always been leadership development movements from our beginnings. We look for younger leaders to entrust and develop to multiply the impact of the gospel now and to lay foundations of greater and growing influence through these men and women in the future.

Seven things to bear in mind in an appointment and selection process.Selection for a team, in sport or work, is a huge responsibility. It is a privilege to be involved in processes and decisions that profoundly affect peoples lives. I never take it lightly. Putting your hand up for consideration places you in a vulnerable position and I always try to be as positive as possible and give each person the best opportunity to showcase their talents and explore their potential contribution. Of course there are times when tough decisions need to be made and people are disappointed and sometimes hurt. It is especially painful when a decision appears to be political or personal rather than being principled.Selection is always a judgement call and it is always harder to accept the decision when it goes against you than for you. I am grateful to have had both experiences multiple times on the way through life. Someone else being preferred for a position invariably feels like rejection, although it often leads to a different door opening and a new opportunity.