Guys & Dolls Podcast

There's nothing more depressing than a bland porn parody name. “Kevin Can Fuck Himself”? “Kevin Fucked Himself”! “The Walking Dead”? “The Walking Head”! And “The Boys” would just be “The Bois!” So what were trying to say is … step up your fucking game Hollywood. We're drowning out here. …Thank you

And now, a newly discovered page from Charles Dickens' diary.“Dear Diary, So like, I just finished this story called “The Prince and the Pauper” and like it's total amaze-balls. It's about this prince and this pauper, but like, I don't wanna spoil anything for you diary. And you remember that brand I told you about, Barbie? Yeah, they're gonna make like 3 movies out of it. It's gonna be lit! Anyways, I'm gonna write a mystery book next. Hope I don't die! #PACE…Thank you …Thank you

You know, this film reminds me very much of the Jules Verne classic “Around the World in 80 Days” … God I wish I read that book instead of watching this movie. …Thank you.

As a creative writing exercise, the GAD team took a poetry class. The following is the only evidence to survive. “SKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”“SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”“UHGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”…Thank you

And now the opening argument transcript from the case of “Bob Marley v. The District of Home Town U.S.A.” (cont.)The Defense rises to give opening arguments. THE DEFENSE: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I am not here to dissuade you from the facts of this case. My client did indeed shoot Sheriff John Brown, however, the facts will show that my client, Bob Marley, did this in self defense and unlike what the prosecutions would lead you to believe, he did not in fact shoot the deputy. And any further accusations therein are in fact irrelevant to this case. Your Honor, I would like to call my first witness. …Thank you

In the United States, systemic white supremacy is prevalent in nearly every nook and cranny of government and society. So we here at the GAD podcast seek to do something about this. Below is listed our favorite white people slurs Albino MonkeyBlanco BulliesCoconut Coocoos Dry Chicken Munchers Yogurt YodelersFor further reading, please click the link below. Https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-yrD_VtbtnYLZZvxbjJMoOP86RBy35Y7zeLLWY45xhQ/…Thank you

Ni ĉi tie ĉe Uloj kaj Pupoj zorgas profunde pri internaciaj aferoj. Do ni decidis, ke la priskribo de ĉi tiu epizodo estos en la lingvo Esperanto. Ĉi tiu stulta, fika lingvo estis desegnita por esti sekundara internacia lingvo kaj ni ĉiuj povas vidi kiel tio rezultis. Podkasto pri Barbie-filmoj devas instrui vin pri ĉi tiu merdo. Sufiĉe embarasa, ĉu? …Dakon

So there's a joke here… about a certain kind of neckwear…and the kind of material it's made from. This joke is not suitable for young children. So we've decided to be the bigger people and not make a “pearl necklace” joke…Thank you.

A core staple of William Shakespeare's plays are a cacophony of miscommunications and intertwined personal relationships that have often been though to be easily resolved by simple communication. In the following essay, I shall prove that, without a shadow of a doubt, all issue within all Shakespeare's plays would be solved by a Hamlet centered harem. …Thank you

And now, the [SECRET] recipe for Martha Stewart's “Green Juice”1 green pear, such Anjou, halved. 2 stalks of celery2 English cucumbers 1 bunch of parsley 1 (1-inch) piece of ginger2 orange wedges, rind left on. Press ingredients through juicer. Stir, and drink immediately. …Thank you

What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets?! No seriously, I'm asking. I just got back in the dating game again and I'm really nervous. My last relationship ended…poorly. I could really use some advice. …Thank you.

And now, a poem by Peepole? Poppy-di-WhoopScoop-diddy-WhoopPop-ti Pop PopScop-di Sop SopScip Scap Mop LopBip Bap Nop Rop…Thank you

Bad-Dragon is a terrible businessSo this WAS a wonderful business that I patronized at least once a year for many years. Then the pandemic hit so they changed things up for the safety of their employees.... and never went back. What's the big change you might ask? Well, before, you could order your own custom toy whenever you liked but then there was a wait period of several months because they got backlogged from so many orders. That led to a lot of negative reviews because people were always complaining about how long it took for their order to be made then shipped. Now, they've solved that problem by not allowing you to even order a toy. Literally since March 2020 if you go to their website you are greeted with a wonderful drop down message that states: "Our queue for custom toys is now full. Thank you for your orders! If you're still interested in purchasing our toys, check out what we have in stock by clicking on this banner."Since spring of last year ANY TIME I go to bad-dragon.com that's the message I get. And since about Jan of this year, they're always almost out of any "inventory", which is just toys that someone else ordered and changed their minds or toys that have something wrong with them, aka a "flop". So their old business model was take orders whenever they come in and suffer bad reviews for taking so long to fulfill and ship said orders. They solved the issue of people complaining about long order wait times by simply just not letting people order lol. Now you have to be in some sort of elite, privileged group of people who know exactly when they plan on opening for orders. Once they do, they fill the next 4 months worth of orders in a few moments then shut down the ordering portion of their site again. The average consumer has no way of knowing if or when they might be allowed to patronize this business. Who would have thought that you'd need to know someone on the inside just to even order a fake dragon dick?TL:DR They've solved their issue of taking forever to fill orders by limiting when people can order and then still taking forever to fill orders.…Thank you

La última vez en Dame Mas Manana, los dos primos amantes, Felipe e Isabella, se dan cuenta, después de un extraño accidente de coloscopia, que no son, de hecho, primos sino hermanos. Esto deja los términos de su herencia nulos y válidos. Con las riquezas de su primo paterno inciertas, el niño bastardo tetrapléjico Alonso-Adriana revela que es el donante leído y reclama toda la fortuna. Mientras tanto, la amiga más querida de Isabella, Roxanna, sufre un terrible accidente, las hormonas de su cirugía de confirmación de género mutan y desarrollan un tercer género nuevo que los médicos ahora llaman "¿Qué?" * The Brothers Cheek quisiera decir que puedes ver Dame Mas Manana de martes a martes a las 9:37 y 9 ": 388 en Tele Mundo

Mas has often asked itself the question “Can some thing be exactly what you expect and also be nothing at all?” Yeah that’s it. Man has done that before. *The Brothers Cheek nod approvingly.

In the bedroom, the mighty bedroom, John bobbit sleeps tonight.In the kitchen, the mighty kitchen, Lorana grabs a knife.A weenie whack, a weenie whack...Owooooooooooo-oooooooooo-oh she threw it in the grass...Owwooooooooooooo-oooooooo the cops busted her ass! *The Brothers Cheek would like to say that one of us thinks we got the wrong song…

Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a cloud! It’s another bird! and look at that over there! Now it’s over there! Now it’s over there! I'’s doing a loop-de-loop! *The Brothers Cheek would like to say “Wowie!”

Okay, so we had this idea for a bit with this description. Imagine like, a Yelp review for like an adult film but with this movie instead. We’re having some trouble working this one so we’re gonna come back to it. *The Brothers Cheek would like to say, yeah we’re totally gonna circle back to this one. Trust us. It’s gonna be hilarious!

Deep in the field where the tiny bitch moans, Two men travel forth omitting strange groans. But the story is not about them, never has, never will. This is a descriptor for an episode of the Guys and Dolls Podcast You bucket of swill. Shingle de hop fo nanana do We can’t rhyme like Dr. Seuss Madel-lala *The Brothers Cheek can verify the truth of this statement

Milk Eggs (Large ones) Lettuce (???) Double sides tape Jumbo pack of toilet paper That new Oreo flavor * The Brothers Cheek would like to say Noodles Rice Toner Stamps

Ok, so hear me out. Pete Wentz right? His parents met at a Joe Biden Senatorial campaign and made Pete Wentz. Pete Wentz helped make Fallout Boy. The Success of Fallout Boy helped Pete Wentz made a record label. That record label signed the mid-2000’s ide rock band The Cab who wrote “Angel with a Shotgun” which spiked in popularity when Castiel got added to Supernatural. The concurrent popularity made Destiel a popular ship, which went cannon due to CW fanservice and was announced as cannon the night JOe Biden got elected president. Joe Biden caused Destiel FULL CIRCLE BABEEEE!

Wow, tu pensais vraiment que nous allions mettre quelque chose de significatif ici? Je veux dire, allez, tu ne te souviens pas de ce qui s'est passé la dernière fois? Sérieusement, pensiez-vous vraiment que cette fois allait être différente? Celui-ci est sur vous, pas sur nous. Cul de confiance stupide ayant confiance en les gens de salope. The Brothers Cheek tient à rassurer notre public alphabétisé français que nous avons licencié ce souscripteur.

Konichiwa Ani-fam! This week super special guest is the super sayyu J Michael Tatum-akun! Sugoi! Sebastian-Sempai noticed us (ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉﾐ ┸━┸! ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ♡*(ᵘʷᵘ)*♡･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *The Brothers Cheek would formally like to reassure the audience that this underwriter has been fired with extreme prejudice.

The thrilling conclusion to this bizarre combination of a plastic doll brand and a religious high holy day. Will the Brothers Cheek survive? Listen in to find out!

The first of two special Christmas episodes made especially for you! Join The Brothers Cheek as they dive into that classic winter time horror story, Barbie in a Christmas Carol *The Brother’s Cheek have allowed this underwriter to continue in their employment because…we’re interested.

Holy shit guys! They found a good one. An honest to god good Barbie movie! Barbie in the Pink Shoes, who'd of thunk it?

This week the Cheek Brothers break out the gamer fuel and toxic rhetoric as they try and speed run Barbie: Video Game Hero. They fail, obviously, but it was a surprisingly fun time. GG

Furries ruin everything.*The Brothers Cheek would like to formally apologize for this underwriter’s attach on furries. They’re such an easy punching bag.

This week...the Cheek Brothers have a guest! They also watch Barbie as Rapunzel, but who cares about that!

This week the Cheek Brothers go back to the beginning with Barbie in the Nutcracker. And boy is it a rough start.

This week the Cheek Brother's mission was to watch Barbie Spy Squad. They chose to accept it, but it unfortunately it did not self destruct.

This week, the Cheek Brothers watch Barbie: Fairytopia. They have some thoughts.

On this episode, the Cheek Brothers watch Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper. If only they knew that the book is so, so much better.

The Cheek Brothers dip their toes into Barbie: A Starlight Adventure. Space Ranch, Gaslighting, Singing, and maybe some morals at the end.