Looking Above

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn discuss parenting. Parenting might just be the most difficult job we've ever had. Okay, it is for sure the most difficult job we've ever had. But it is truly such a blessing! If you're a parent, or hope to be a parent, or struggling because you are not yet a parent, listen to the podcast, and then grab a friend and discuss! If you're a parent, talk for a few minutes about your kids (they're ages, stages, personalities). Talk for a few minutes about your parents. What did you like about how they parented? What will you do differently? If you're a parent, what is the most rewarding aspect of parenting for you? What is your biggest struggle? What advice have you read or learned from others that you appreciate? Do you excel at giving grace to your kids and yourself, or is it a struggle? How can you remember to have grace? If you aren't a parent yet, what is one thing that Brooklyn or Karen shared that you'd like to remember when you become a parent? Do you struggle to trust God daily? How can you grow in this aspect of your faith journey (so that as a parent, now or in the future, you are better able to rely on His wisdom)? What has God's love for you looked like? How can you apply that same type of love to parenting?d

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn discuss marriage - the good, the bad, and what they wish they had known when they were younger. Listen to the podcast, and then grab a friend and discuss marriage! What is one thing you loved about your wedding day? What is one thing you wish you could have changed? What is one way you could be a better wife? Karen and Brooklyn shared some advice they've learned through the years. What do you wish you knew before you were married? What lessons have you learned?

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn discuss what they've learned about the world's wisdom versus godly wisdom. Listen, find a friend, and get together to discuss these questions: How would you have defined success when you were younger? How do you define success now? How do these compare to God's definition of success? How would you have defined beauty when you were younger? How do you define beauty now? How do these compare to God's definition of beauty? How would you have defined sin when you were younger? How do you define sin now? How do these compare to God's definition of sin? How do we know what God's will or God's best is for us? Why should we be less concerned with how close we can get to the line and more concerned with how close we can get to God? What does the world tell us about fun/ pleasure? What does Scripture tell us about pleasure? Where does true joy come from? Why do we live traumatized and broken, rather than seeking healing? Why do we stay stuck? What is one thing you need to seek healing from? The Takeaway: "So we fix our eyes, not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18 Action Step: Choose one of the above topics (success, beauty, sin, pleasure, trauma), and find a verse that helps you to remember God's truth on that topic. Write it on a note card and work on memorizing it this week.

This is the start to our "between the seasons season" that we have affectionately called "Dear Younger Me..." In the break between Life Group seasons, Karen and Brooklyn are going to discuss things they wish they knew when they were younger. But, this episode is devoted to getting to know them better. Even though you might not be meeting with your Life Group over the next three months, we encourage you to keep listening and get together with a friend (twice a month) for coffee and to chat about whatever we discussed! Don't let the break from Life Groups mean a break from meaningful relationship! Here are the questions we discussed...talk about them at coffee with your friend! What’s a skill you want to learn? What is the biggest risk you ever took? What is your favorite joke? What was the last book you read? What is your pet peeve? What phone app do you use the most Would you run a marathon? What did you want to be when you grew up? What situations make you feel most anxious? Have you ever been close to death? Would you rather give up eating or sleeping? Take away: Brooklyn is not 13 :) Brooklyn and Karen are "real" people with real feelings and real fears. Action step: Set up coffee with a friend and discuss the Getting To Know You questions!

On this episode, Karen and Brooklyn wrap up their discussion on the book of Ephesians with a chat about the armor of God and the spiritual battle that surrounds us. Tell a story of a fight you had with someone when you were much younger. Verse 12 says our battle is not against flesh and blood enemies. Why is this important information? How do we maintain that perspective when we are "fighting" with another person? When life gets hard (temptation, inter-personal conflict) who's strength do you operate in? What "armor" do you rely on? How have you seen relying on your own strength and on "worldly" armor to be undependable or faulty strategies? Have you ever been in a situation where you know it was God's power sustaining you, because your power was gone? Describe that situation. How might we rely on God's power in all situations (not just when our power is gone)? As a group, discuss each of the pieces of armor and how it equips you to fight a spiritual battle. Do you have, or have you had a spiritual mentor? What is that relationship like? How might this group work together to seek God's will in your lives individually, and God's will for the group? The Takeaway: We all need people in our lives who will give us godly advice and remind us that we're in a spiritual battle. Seeking guidance is a discipline. Action Step: Pray about seeking a mentor or spiritual director who can help you seek God's will in your life. Invite someone into this role.

Looking Above ep. 31 - Ephesians 5:21-6:9 / Submission On this episode, Karen and Brooklyn discuss the biblical concept of submission as presented in Ephesians chapters 5 and 6 and discuss how this view of submission is far different than our society's take on the topic. Without naming names, talk about a best friend of yours. What makes him/ her your best friend? Why do you love him/her? What would you do for your best friend? (Would you give him/her a kidney? Would you suffer for him/her? Would you give your life for him/her?) Why? Talk about Jesus' submission to God. What did that look like in His life? What did that look like in His death? Submission is a hot-button topic. Why do people in our society hate the term 'submission' so much? Ultimately, we submit to each other because we are submitted to God. Based on these verses, what does submission to God look like for husbands, fathers and masters? If husbands, fathers and masters lived according to this passage, how might that change wives' children's and slaves' perception of submission and desire to submit? We are called to submit to each other. What might that look like practically in your life? How does submission build unity? Submission provides protection. How? Talk about the context in which this passage was written. How is Paul actually honoring and elevating wives, children and slaves in this passage? The Takeaway: Submission brings freedom in our relationships as we honor and esteem each other. God desires order in the body, and submission brings order. Action Step: Pray about your attitude concerning submission. Who is a godly person in your life to whom you could submit?

Looking Above ep. 30 - Ephesians 5:1-20 / Fasting As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? What or who do you imitate today? Do you know God well enough to imitate Him? How do you know what you know about God? Skim thru the passage and come up with a list of "do's" and "don'ts". Can you put a reason with each item on the list-why would Paul say "to do" or "not to do" that? Give an example of how someone else's shining brought your darkness to light. Discuss how gratitude towards God helps us avoid sin. What are some examples of the darkness of the world that we might still be tempted to participate in after coming to Christ. How can we live as light when faced with those temptations? Have you fasted? What was that experience like? How can denying ourselves a physical pleasure (or necessity like food) bring us closer to God? Other than food and technology, what could a person fast from? The Takeaway: To imitate God we have to know Him. One of the ways we can know Him more with through fasting. Action Step: Choose something to fast from for one day this week. Be intentional and replace the time you would have spent on that thing with time with God.

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn discuss the second half of Ephesians 4 and talk about the discipline of confession. They belong to a confessional community and talk about how confession helps us individually and corporately. Questions for Group Discussion: Last week you were encouraged to SOAP this week. Take a few minutes and share something that you discovered during your Bible study. Tell a story of a time when you felt deep sadness. Vs. 30 says that how we live can cause the Holy Spirit to suffer deep emotional pain. How do you feel about that? When we sin, we "wander far from the life God gives" (vs.18). Why does it matter? Why don't we just continue wearing our "dirty clothes" (sinful nature)? We are told to "level up" and allow the Spirit raise our thoughts and attitudes to higher levels.(vs. 23) What does that look like? Take some time to work thru verses 25-32. What dirty clothes are we to take off? What new nature are we to put on? Why does each matter? Have you ever practiced the discipline of confession? If so, what did that look like? If not, why not? What about confession sounds scary or intimidating to you? What about confession sounds good or enticing? How might this group practice the discipline of confession? Each person tell the group one way you struggled this past week (could be a temptation/sin, could be an emotional struggle). The rest of the group should respond by saying "We will not leave the room" (meaning "we are with you and your struggle won't scare us away.") End by pairing up (get with a partner) and pray for each other. The Takeaway: Confession is for our own good, so our hearts don't become callous to our sin. Action Step: Daily confession. Begin by asking the Holy Spirit to reveal sin in your life. Start the practice of confessing your sins to God and if so prompted, with a trusted friend.

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn chat about the discipline of study and how it is an important discipline if we want to strengthen our faith. They will give you some ideas for how to begin to study Scripture (this passage) on your own. Be sure to bring paper Bibles, notebooks, highlighters, pens, and your phone (to access biblehub.com) when you meet with your group this week. Group activity: This week you will work together to study Ephesians 4:1-16. Break into pairs (two people) and assign each pair a small section of the passage to study. Use the first portion of your time to do the things that Karen described on the podcast. Together with your partner: Highlight words that stand out. Ask questions about what phrases mean or why they're important. Look up a commentary on biblehub.com and read about the verse. Possibly look up a word in the original Greek. Make notes. Use the next portion of your time together to share what you learned during your study. Feel free to share what parts of the study process were easy/ difficult/ intriguing/ confusing to you. Finish by discussing: Why is this important? | How can we apply what we learned? | The Takeaway: Baby birds grow up. You need to too. Take the next step in growing in Bible study. Action Step: Spend time in daily study this week. Practice the SOAP method. (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer)

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn discuss a little bit of history about Paul, talk about God's plan, and look into some of the insights we learn about God in this chapter. Brooklyn also shares her experiences with practicing the discipline of meditation. Questions to discuss with your group: How does the knowledge that Paul was in prison while writing this letter change the way you read it? Are you a "plan person or a "wing it" person? How do you respond to the fact that God has a plan? How might remembering Paul's past help you to be more gracious with others? How might it change your view of your own eligibility to be used by God? When you think of God as Father, what thoughts come to your mind? How do you feel? You have access to God. The God of the universe. Do you come to him boldly and confidently? Why/why not? What does it mean to you that God has settled down as a permanent resident within you? How does/should that change the way we live? Have you practiced Christian meditation before? Talk about your struggles or joys with the process. How might this group put this discipline into practice this week? The Takeaway: Disciplines take discipline. Don't give up if meditation doesn't come easily. Action Step: Choose a verse or attribute of Jesus to meditate upon this week. Set aside time to practice meditation. Come back next week and share how this practice went.

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn chat about covenants, unity, and how fellowship is a discipline. Questions to discuss with your group: What does it feel like to be far away from Christ? We live under the new covenant. Because of Christ's sacrifice (vs. 13) we have been brought near. What does this mean for us? Does fellowship come naturally to you, or do you need to discipline yourself to do it? The Greek word translated "peace" in this passage has to do with wholeness, and being bound together. How can Christian community (fellowship) foster peace? When have you realized your need for Christian community? Why do you most often isolate or resist going deeper in friendship? Have you ever experienced an unlikely friendship that was united by your love for Christ? What did that look like? How did/does that friendship bless you? Talk about the beauty of fellowship. What can happen in fellowship that won't happen in isolation? Are you more naturally a "giver" or a "receiver" in friendship? What one step can you take this week to do the one that does not come naturally to you? Why is it important to give and receive? The Takeaway: Because our souls need fellowship, we should be disciplined in seeking it. Action Step: Get together with some Christian friends this week. Light a candle. Engage in meaningful conversation. Take time to listen well and encourage each other. Ask good questions that help you get to know each other better.

In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn chat about worship and how our experiences with God Questions to discuss with your group: Talk about your life before Christ. Can you look back now and see that you were a zombie -comatose-corpse? How is your life different with Christ (How are you missing the mark less now that you are walking with Jesus? How are you more awake spiritually)? Karen described sin as "missing the mark" and talked about how this extends beyond what we would consider "big moral failures." What is your response to that definition? Read verses 4& 5. How do you feel knowing that Jesus loved you in your sinful state? Christ's gift to us is life (that begins now) and salvation from eternal death. We can't earn it. How does that knowledge shape your desire to worship? What or whom do your worship? Are you more apt to worship God or a human/sports team/ performer? How do you engage in worship (privately and corporately)? What holds you back from worshipping openly and passionately? How might this group engage in worship together? The Takeaway: Experiencing God daily leads us to worship Him passionately. Action Step: Watch for God this week. Pray and ask Him to show you where He is at work around you. Then go to church Sunday ready to worship Him for who He is and what He is doing in your life.

Looking Above ep 24 - Ephesians 1:15-23/ Prayer In this episode, Karen and Brooklyn chat about prayer and look at the prayer Paul prayed for the Ephesian church. This prayer was quite different than the prayers that most of us pray for our friends and might change our view of what is most important to pray for. Questions to discuss with your group: How do you feel about praying out loud? Why do you feel that way? Read Acts 2:42. What do you do with what you hear preached on a Sunday morning? Do you have a desire to know more about God? Do your actions show evidence of that desire? Why is it important to have an accurate, true, and thorough understanding of God? Is God your first line of defense or your backup plan when you run into difficulty? Why do you think that is? What is a bold prayer you're afraid to pray? How would a better understanding of God's power change your willingness to pray that prayer? Talk as a group about any prayer fails you've experienced (saying the wrong words, "Burning Ring of Fire" coming on as you pray, etc.). Then take time to commit to each other that this group is a safe place to practice prayer. Share any stories you have of answered prayer. How does hearing those stories make you feel about prayer? What does it mean to pray expectantly? Pray. Go around the circle and each of you pray for the person on your right. Pray for any prayer requests she may have mentioned as well as The Takeaway: Prayer can change your friends' lives Action Step: Exchange names and pray intentionally for that one person every day this week using this passage as your guide.

Looking Above ep 23 - Ephesians 1:1-14/ Celebration It's a new season for Looking Above! This season we'll be talking about how we grow in Christ together. We'll focus our time on the book of Ephesians and also discuss how we can use the spiritual disciplines to grow together. Karen and Brooklyn are discussing our blessings in Christ and how we should celebrate all that God has done for us. It is important to recognize God's work and praise Him together. Our faith grows from hearing the testimonies of others. Questions to discuss with your group: Together as a group go thru the passage and create a list of all the things God does (look for verbs). Create a second list of what we receive or are offered. Verses 3, 6, 12, and 14 speak of praise. Go around the group and have each person select one word/phrase from each list and share praise. Why does that word/phrase resonate with you? What does it mean to receive that as a gift from God? If you have time, have individuals share testimony either of how they came to Christ or of what God is currently doing in their life. (This alone could fill your entire group meeting) Celebrate. Party. Give high fives. Dance. Whoop and holler. Do something together as a group (even if you feel silly) to celebrate God's goodness. The Takeaway: We have been so very blessed by God. We should regularly take time to celebrate His goodness. Action Step: How will you personally celebrate God's goodness this week?

Friendship has tremendous worth and purpose in our lives, but it is not meant to define us or be the source of our worth. Brooklyn and Karen discuss the trap of comparison in friendship and how we need to be more aware of the unrealistic expectations we put on friends when we expect them to define us. Friendship with others begins from a place of intimacy with God. Questions for large group discussion: Brooklyn suggested you develop a friendship with God first? Have you done this? If so, how does it relieve pressure from human friendship? If not, can you see why this should be the first step? Read John 13:34-35. How is friendship obedience to God? Have you been obedient to God's will for how we do relationship? How does viewing friendship as a gift rather than something expected open us to gratitude? Why is it dangerous to look to friends for worth? Have you done this? What was the result? Are you tempted to compare (to your friends? to your friends other friends? to other people's friendships?)? Does insecurity lead to comparison or vice versa? Satan is the father of lies and uses lies to destroy our relationships. What lies have you been tempted to believe about friends/friendships? What has comparison stolen from you? What are you gifted at in friendship? (Are you wise, encouraging, steady, loyal...?) Read Matthew 20:24-28 How can you be a servant in friendship? The Takeaway: Friendships are healthiest when our worth is found in Christ. To-Do This Week: Be intentional in your friendship with Christ this week. If you find yourself comparing or struggling with placing worth in friends, take those thoughts captive and ask God to replace the lies with truth.

Part of life and relationship is pain. People move, people die, and people hurt each other. In those situations, we have choices of how to deal with our pain. Listen in as Karen and Kalaina discuss how to work through broken relationships and move forward with grace. *We suggest that you save thirty minutes for discussion in pairs (so each person has 15 minutes to answer the final questions).* Questions for large group discussion: Let's talk about the positive. Share how a "friend for a season" impacted your life at just the right time. At the end of the podcast, Kalaina shared, "Do unto others as you wish others had done unto you." Looking back at a pain you felt from a friendship, what did you learn to do differently in the future so you don't hurt others in the same way? Why is it so hard to evaluate and admit our contribution to the friendship breakdown? | Why does Jesus instruct us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us? (Matthew 5:43-48) Break into pairs now, so everyone has time to share. Please note, that this is a time for self-reflection not for bashing someone who hurt you. Each person should have about 15 minutes to answer the following questions: Have you had a relationship break down (recently or in the past)? Describe the situation briefly. What were the circumstances that led to the breakdown? Have you looked honestly at your involvement? How did you contribute to the breakdown? Have you forgiven your friend? Have you asked for forgiveness? Have you allowed yourself to grieve the loss? What did that look like? What did you do well following the breakdown? What could you have done better? Are you able to pray for that friend? If you see her do you think positive/neutral/negative thoughts about her? Have you built walls around yourself? Did you get comfortable in your grief? What did you learn from that friendship break-up? What will you do better in the future? The Takeaway: Relational breakdown happens but you can grow through it. To-Do This Week: Intentionally pray for any "ex-friends" (or friends you're currently struggling with) that God brings to mind this week.

When you ask a friend how she's doing, more often than not her response will be, "I'm good, just so busy." Let's face it, we're all busy. And with busyness comes hurry. Join Joy and Karen as they discuss how to be more intentional in friendship so hurry doesn't crowd out relationship. Questions for discussion: Would you categorize your life as busy? Why or why not? Do you agree with the statement, "Hurry and love are incompatible"? (John Mark Comer) Explain your answer. Why do we choose the urgent over the important so frequently? What is the danger in that practice? How could you invite friends into your life ?(ie. run errands together, clean each others' houses) Read Luke 10:38-42 Do you relate more to Mary or Martha? How so? What point was Jesus making by praising Mary? Are you an initiator? If not, why not? If so, how do you feel when you are the only one who initiates? Discuss this quote from Find Your People, "We've replaced intrusive, real conversations with small talk, and we've substituted soul-baring, deep, connected living with texts and a night out together every once in a while because the superficial stuff seems more manageable and less risky." (Jennie Allen) Is this true in your life? Do you feel lonely and like no one really knows you? What is a step you will take this week to prioritize relationships over busyness? The Takeaway: Combat busyness with intentionality. To-Do This Week: Identify someone with whom you want a deeper friendship. Invite her into your busyness this week.

Sticks and stones do break bones, but words can break our spirits. Karen and Lindsey discuss the power of our words in our relationships. Join them as they encourage you to utilize your words to encourage and build up your friends. Questions for discussion: Who do you know that is a natural encourager? How do you feel in their presence? "Don’t bite, devour, and consume one another" Galatians 5:15 How do you feel when in the presence of those who "bite" with their words? Do you bite others with your words? Why do you think you/others do this? "Don’t grumble among one another" John 6:43 What's the difference between healthy venting and grumbling? How can grumbling affect our relationships? "Don’t complain against one another" James 4:11 Lindsey mentioned that the ratio of positive to negative interactions should be 5 to 1. Reflect on this. How are you doing with your friends? (your kids? your spouse?) "Encourage and build up one another" 1 Thessalonians 5:11 We have the opportunity to be like the Holy Spirit and encourage and build our friends up. Who has done this well in your life? How did they do this? "Stimulate one another to love and good deeds" Hebrews 10:24 How can your Life Group "provoke" you (to love and good deeds)? How do you need them to share courage with you? Is there a friend who has been torn down, that you know you need to encourage? What's your first step? The Takeaway: Our words may be the most constructive or destructive force in our relationships. To-Do This Week: Encourage one friend daily! (You can do it! I believe in you!)

Karen talks with her friend Kris about how the enemy uses introversion, fear, lies, and comfort zones to take us into relational isolation. God's intent is that we have deep relationships, but the Enemy loves to keep us isolated. Consider the tactics that Satan has used in your life that have kept you stuck relationally. Questions for discussion: Are you an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert? (remember, this has nothing to do with shyness, but rather where we gain or are drained of energy) Acknowledge how this affects your relationships. Have you ever felt isolated relationally due to circumstances? Explain. Have you ever isolated yourself based on lies you were believing? Can you identify the lies? When have you had to be pushed out of your comfort zone? What was the result? Have you ever felt safer in your isolation than in reaching out? What is at stake in reaching out? What is your "comfort zone" that may keep you from better relationships? What growth/discomfort is necessary to move you from where you are (in your comfort zone)? What do you desire in friendship? (If you stepped out of your comfort zone, what would be your desired goal/outcome) What is one step you will take this week to move outside your comfort zone? (ie. invite someone into your messy home, tell a friend about your "messy" life situation, etc.) The Takeaway: "Nothing new happens as long as we are in our self-constructed comfort zone." - Suzanne Stabile To-Do This Week: Take one step outside your comfort zone.

Looking above episode 16 - Offendability Special Guest - Darci Wilson Let's be real, sometimes our friends hurt us. In this episode, Karen talks with Darci about one of the most tragic killers of friendship - offense. When we choose offense over grace, friendships weaken and frequently die. Fighting offense requires intentionality in our thoughts and actions. Questions for discussion: What's the silliest (most trivial) offense you can think of? Are you someone who is easily offended or someone who is hard to offend? Why do you think that is? Which reason for offense are you most prone to: self-focus, insecurity, feeling left out, misunderstandings, disagreement? Can you think of a time you offended someone unintentionally? 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take every thought captive. Is this something you do? What does that look like for you? How can thinking on the truth and assuming the best change our response to potentially offending situations? 1 Peter 4:8 It is most loving to be honest with our friends. Why is it important that we talk honestly about offenses rather than bottling them? Colossians 3:13 Do you often think about the forgiveness and grace God extends to you? How can that awareness change the way you offer forgiveness? Do you agree with Darci's assertion that it's good for friends to fight? Is there a friendship you need to repair? Can our group pray for you as you take steps to repair the offense? The Takeaway: The Enemy wants to tear down our relationships. We have to fight offense by controlling our thoughts, showing love in honesty, and choosing to forgive. To-Do This Week: Have the hard conversation you've been avoiding. If you've offended someone, work to bring reconciliation. If you've been offended, lovingly tell your friend and then extend grace.

Looking Above episode 15 We weren't meant to do life alone. We need to cultivate friendships in the good days and the mundane days so we have friends to lean on when life assaults us. In this episode, Karen discusses our need for what she calls Valley Girls, friends who will walk with you through the hard days. Questions for discussion: Why are you tempted to travel the valley alone? Think of the lies the world tells us. Which one resonates with you? Tell a story of someone who pursued you in a valley. Tell a story of a time you practiced presence and walked through a valley with a friend. Have you walked through a valley that you sense God wants to use - so that you can encourage others in a similar valley? Proclaim hope to each other right now. How have you seen God at work recently? Have you had answered prayers? Has He been teaching you something? Are you in a valley right now? Are you tempted to sit down in that valley? How can this group push you and encourage you to keep walking? If someone shared about a valley in the previous question, spend time right now pointing her to Jesus. Go to battle for each other. Exchange names and each of you pray for another in the group this week. The Takeaway: We weren't created to be in the valley alone, cultivate friendships that will sustain you in the valley. To-Do This Week: Be someone's Valley Girl this week. Pick one of the eight roles of a Valley Girl and make an effort to do that for a friend before your group meets again.

Looking Above episode 14 - Social Media vs. IRL Friendship Sawyer Poitra joins Karen today for a discussion of how online friendship might be hindering face-to-face friendship. Sawyer is the CEO of the Women's Resource Center in Gillette, and also works in social media marketing. Social media has its place in society, in ministry, and in friendship, however, at some levels, it is keeping us from the joy of authentic in-person community. Questions for discussion: How many friends/ followers do you have on social media? With how many of them have you spent 90 hours of face-to-face time (the minimum amount of time required for true friendship)? How much time do you spend on social media weekly? (use your phone to see your usage habits) Who do you check on without being prompted by social media? Who checks on you? Respond to this statement: Social media allows us to have wide relationships (surface relationships with many) whereas in-person allows us to have deep relationships (more in-depth relationships with few). Why are we willing to substitute a shallower online friendship for a deeper more meaningful in person relationship? Read 1 Thessalonians 2:8 Tell a story of a time you "did life" with a friend (like when Sawyer washed Karen's dishes) and share how being side-by-side deepened your friendship. How do you think Satan might be utilizing social media to destroy God's intent for relationship? Karen shared the idea of social media friendships being more like spectatorship, while in-person friendships have the capacity to be more participatory. What excites you and what scares you about participatory friendship? The Takeaway: Investing in face-to-face relationships is more work (than social media friendships), but will result in deeper, more life-giving friendships. To Do This Week: Do a social media assessment (or NetFlix, or t.v., or whatever other way you choose to use your time that keeps you from face to face relationship). Cut back your social media (or other distraction) by one hour a day and invest that time in a face-to-face relationship.

Looking Above - Episode 13 Looking above episode 13 - Becoming the Friend You Want In this episode, Karen is joined by Katie Golinvaux, a Biblical Counselor, Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Pastor's Wife, and dear friend. If you desire to be a better friend, you'll want to grab paper and a pen so you can take notes! Katie shares such wonderful wisdom regarding being who God created you to be. Discussion Questions: You don't need to know that Gallup lingo to know your strengths. Take turns telling the group some of your strengths (what makes you feel strong?) What do you do well? What do you enjoy? What are some of your favorite jobs or life experiences? What kind of friend are you? - Do you enjoy crowds or one-on-one time? What types of things do you like to do with others? Do you enjoy helping people process emotions or are you more logical? Respond to the sunglasses illustration. Are you tempted to judge others through your own strengths? How has this affected your friendships? Respond to Katie's report card metaphor. Why is it helpful/important to focus on your strengths? When have you tried to be someone you are not? Jennie Allen refers to six types of friends in her book "Find Your People" : The Encourager, The Foxhole Friend, The Challenger, The Fun One, The Planner, and The Sage (check out her Instagram for descriptions of each). Which type of friend are you? Which type of friend are you most in need of right now? Katie referenced these passages: Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 27:17, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Do a self-assessment based on those passages. How are you doing as a friend? The Takeaway: Be who God created you to be - focus on your strengths in order to be a better friend. To-Do This Week: Get together with a friend and ask each other: How are we alike? How are we different? How do we help each other fill in the gaps? How do we sometimes misunderstand each other? Celebrate your differences and remember God made you different!

Looking Above - Episode 12 It's Galentines Day, what better day to discuss how we love our girlfriends better? I enjoyed my discussion, with my friend Sara McCormick, the youth pastor at New Life. I hope this episode encourages you to love your friends well! Discussion Questions: Who followed through on the "to-do" task from last week and reached out to those in their circles? How did that go? Tell the group a story about a friend who loved you well. What did that look like? Take a few minutes to re-cap the five love languages. Share some ideas of how you have seen these love languages used well in friendships. What is your primary love language? How could your friends use your love language to show you, love? Re-read John 13:34-35. Why are we to love each other well? Talk about how Jesus loved his disciples/friends. Can you give examples of his love in action? If we are to follow Jesus' example, how should we love our friends? Have you ever been in a situation, like Sara, where you were struggling but didn't tell your friends? Why didn't you tell them? How might the situation have been different if you had been honest with your friends? What keeps us from being honest with friends? Time to get honest...how are you doing with friendships? Do you and your friends show each other love well? If not, why not? How could this group show you love? Reflect back on your circles from last week. Do you know the love languages of the friends in your circles? The Takeaway: In order to love each other well, friends need to communicate well. To-Do this Week: Start having conversations with the friends in your circles, ask them how can you better love each other?

Looking Above - Episode 11 It's Season 2 of Looking Above and this spring we're taking a deep dive into the realm of spiritual friendships. Today Karen lays a foundation for why this topic is so needed and then discusses our relationship circles. This season you're encouraged to grab a couple of friends (or acquaintances you wish were friends) and get together each week to discuss the episode. We hope that by the end of the next twelve weeks, you're a better friend, and you have better friendships! Before you meet with your group - You'll need paper and a pen. Start by making a list of all the people you're in a relationship with - anyone who potentially gets some of your relational energy in a given week (list: family, friends, coworkers, church people, gym people, school people, other acquaintances, neighbors) | On a separate page draw a large bullseye (concentric circles) and begin to place people from your first list onto this diagram as Karen described in the podcast. Bring this with you to your group meeting. Discussion Questions: How easy or difficult was the exercise for you? Did you feel like you had too many people, or too few people to populate your circles? What did this exercise clarify for you? Do you think circles should/could change over time? (I personally like to revisit this annually) What part does prayer play in discerning who gets placed in your circles? Why is it good to know who is in your circles and who is not? What freedom does this exercise give you concerning those on the periphery? What responsibility does this exercise give you concerning those in your circles? If you're willing to be vulnerable, share how you have misprioritized people and given too much time and energy to people who aren't in your circles. How has this affected relationships with people in the circles? | Share examples of how you saw Jesus prioritize the people in his circles. Read John 15:12-13 What does it mean to lay down one's life for one's friends? Why is it important to know who your friends are? The Takeaway: You need to know who is in your circles so you can invest in the right people. To-Do This Week: Reach out to those in your circles (text, phone call, card) and let them know how important they are to you.

Looking Above - Episode 10 In our final section of the book of John, we witness the death and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus completes the task for which he was sent to earth. We'll be back in the New Year with new episodes of Looking Above, have a blessed holiday season! Discussion Questions: As you read the account of Jesus' scourging and crucifixion, what emotions do you feel? Make it personal. He endured that for YOU. Take a peek at some of the prophecies that were fulfilled in these chapters. Scholars say Jesus fulfilled more than 300 prophecies. Why is it noteworthy? Read Hebrews 4:14 - 16 and reflect on Jesus as our High Priest (John 19:23 reference to his seamless robe). What does this tell us about Jesus? Why is it important to us to have a High Priest? Discuss some of the details that John included (like the hyssop branch and blood & water). Why were these important to his Jewish readers? Why are they important details for us? Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea were "secret disciples." Is there such a thing today? Can you be a secret follower of Jesus. Use scripture to substantiate your opinion. Mary of Magdalene deeply loved Jesus and it was seen by her actions. What do you do that clearly portrays your love for Jesus? Have you ever been so immersed in your grief that you failed to notice Jesus? Are you like Thomas? Do you isolate in pain? Do you doubt what you don't see? Jesus charges Peter with caring for "his sheep." What does "sheep care" look like today? Note that all the disciples were not given the same task. "As for you, Follow me," is Jesus' admonition to Peter and to us. Why is it so easy to be distracted by others' tasks and blessings and lose focus on what Jesus calls us to do? How do we keep our focus so we can be obedient to our personal mission?

Looking Above - Episode 9 This week we're discussing John Chapters 17 and 18 where Jesus is about to go to the cross. We get a sneak peek into his final moments with his disciples as he prays for them and us. And then we witness the beginning of his journey to the cross. Discussion Questions: Did you take notice of the words "give," "gave," "given" and "gift" in this passage? How were they used? What do you glean from their use? Similarly, take a few minutes and search for the word "glory" in this passage. How is this word used? Jesus viewed the cross as His glory. IS it possible for us to view hardship and suffering as glory? How could that perspective change the way we suffer? I shared the story of my AP Calculus test. Can you share a story of a teacher being glorified because of their student's success? How have you brought glory to God? / Can you accept that we do not get to escape this world and its struggle? In what ways are we protected in suffering? Jesus prayed for you to be set apart for a special task. Do you have any ideas about what God has chosen and set you apart to do for His Kingdom? How do you feel, knowing that Jesus asked the Father to equip you to do that task? How/where do you see unity in the Church (the big "c" church - speaking of all believers)? How/ where do you see disunity in the Church (among believers)? Why is disunity so problematic? Discuss the imagery of the blood flowing through the Kidron valley as Jesus crossed it on the way to the olive grove. Discuss each of the characters in chapter 18 (Priests/ Pharisees, Soldiers/ Temple Guard, Pilate, Peter, Jesus). What motivated each to act the way they did? What was noteworthy about their actions? Can you understand why they acted the way they did? What would you like to ask each of them? How can we be more like Jesus (motivated by obedience and love) and less like the priests and Pilate (motivated by self-preservation/ glorification)?

Looking Above - Episode 8 This week we're discussing John Chapters 15 and 16 and exploring Jesus' teachings. Discussion Questions: Talk about the imagery of Jesus as the vine and each of us as branches. Could you come up with a modern-day equivalent? What is the purpose of the vine? Of the branches? What type of fruit do we bear? Have you ever been thru a season of pruning? What did that look like? Were you more fruitful afterward? Discuss abiding in Jesus. What does that look like for you? Share ideas with each other regarding how you can arrange your lives so there is never a day you don't connect with the vine. Have you ever witnessed someone laying down their life for a friend? What could that look like? How do you feel about the concept of being a friend of Jesus? Are you a good friend? Jesus warned of persecution. Why did He do this? What does this tell us about Jesus? What are some of the roles the Holy Spirit can play in our lives? Can you give examples of times you have experienced Him in each of these roles? Chapter 6 verse 13 calls the Holy Spirit the "Spirit of Truth" discuss and contrast the work of the Holy Spirit with the work of the "Father of Lies." Why does Jesus teach to pray using His name? / John 16:33 - What hope does this verse give you?

Looking Above - Episode 7 As Jesus nears the end of his earthly ministry we witness Him preparing the disciples for His departure. Discussion Questions: Read John 13:1 and discuss how love was the motivation for Jesus' actions. How often does love motivate your actions? How would you feel if Jesus washed your feet? Jesus served. Consider leaders, authors, influencers, and pastors - do they set an example of service? Are you more likely to serve or be served? There is a self-serving type of service. Are you more like to serve with self interest or love as your motivation? Jesus tells his disciples to wash each others feet. How can we "wash each others feet" today? Discuss John 13:34. Jesus called us to love like He loved. What does that look like? Do the people in your church or small group love like that? What is your response to Jesus preparing a place for you? / Discuss some words and actions of Jesus - consider how those words and actions are also the words and actions of God. Love = obedience. Do your actions show God your love? Share with the group a time your circumstances were difficult but you felt the peace of Christ.

Looking Above - Episode 6 This week we'll discuss John chapters 11 & 12 and view not only the divinity of Jesus, but also his humanity. Discuss these chapters with a friend or your small group: What does it tell you about Jesus that he had close friendships? Jesus delayed going to Lazarus. Have you ever had to wait for a response from God? How did you feel in the waiting? In retrospect, can you see why God may have delayed? Thomas shows courage in his willingness to travel to Judea with Jesus (ch11, vs 16). How do you respond to fear? Do you run away or press on? What is something that God may be calling you to that will require courage? Discuss Jesus' display of emotion in chapter 11, verses 33-35. What does this tell you about Jesus? What does this tell you about your own emotions? In the story that begins chapter 12, are you more like Martha or Mary in how you show love to God? In how you show love to others? Can you appreciate that God made them (as well as you and those you know) and that we all show our love uniquely? Jesus entrusted Judas with the disciple's accounting even though he knew Judas' heart. Is there someone that you could entrust with more even though maybe they haven't proven themself yet? Are you more like the Sadducees who were motivated by self-interest, or more like Jesus who was motivated by obedience to God? How could you grow to be more like Jesus? (Chapter 12, verse 42-43) Can people see your faith? Do you speak about your faith? Or do you live in fear live the Jewish leaders? What is one step you could take this week to be more open about your faith?

Looking Above - Episode 5 This week we’re taking a look at two compelling sections of Scripture, found in John chapters 9 and 10. In the first, Jesus heals a blind man and the encounter totally changes the man’s life and how he worships. In chapter 10, we look at Jesus as the good shepherd and his relationship to us as such. Discuss these chapters with a friend or your small group: What has God called you to do? (If you can’t think of specific tasks he has called you to personally, you can discuss general things that He calls all believers to.) Are you procrastinating doing those things you’re called to do? Are you distracted? What distracts you? What will you do differently this week to maintain your focus? What distractions can you eliminate? The more we know Jesus, the greater He becomes. Who is Jesus to you? Discuss the progression the ex-blind man goes through in his belief in Jesus. Can you look back and see milestones in your life where your perspective on who Jesus is shifted? The Pharisees intimidated the ex-blind man’s parents. Around whom do you hide your faith? Who intimidates you into not speaking of Jesus? How might you work towards overcoming that intimidation? Talk about worship. How does our worship reflect our beliefs about Jesus? How has your worship changed through the years? Is your worship wholehearted? IF not, why not? Jesus’ sheep recognize His voice. Would you say you recognize His voice? Can you distinguish the voice of the enemy? What lies does Satan use to attempt to lure you from the safety of the sheepfold? Discuss how every lie we believe results in death. Can you give specific examples? How have you experienced the rich and satisfying (abundant) life promised by Jesus? / What is your reaction to the Shepherd giving His life on your behalf? How might you better follow the Shepherd this week?

Looking Above - Episode 4 This week we'll discuss John chapters 7 &8. We see Jesus teaching and interacting with religious leaders. He also interacts with the woman caught in adultery and declares himself the Light of the World. Discuss these chapters with a friend or your small group: Talk about the difference between living in judgement of others and living in such a way that your life is an accusation. What does living as light look like? Jesus did not often live up to the expectations of others, instead living according to His Father's plan. What could living like this look like for you? Discuss how you are prone to judge based on actions rather than intent. Has this ever gotten you in trouble? How can you look beyond actions? Was there anything Jesus said in these chapters that surprised you? Take a look at these passages and compare to chapter 7 verses 37&38 (Isaiah 55:1, Zechariah 14:8, Ezekiel 47:9, Joel 3:18, Isaiah 33:21) Consider the temple guard's reaction ( John 7:46). What is something that Jesus said that has greatly impacted your life? How do we avoid behaving elitist like the Pharisees? How can we love and show grace to those who "know" less than we do? Discuss the interaction with the woman caught in adultery. How did Jesus and the Pharisees use their authority differently? How might we interact differently with "sinners"? Throughout these chapters, people believe because they hear the words of Jesus. How do your words affect others? How has the truth set you free? Respond to the quote from Barclay's commentary and the four ways we are freed. Do you quickly believe Jesus' words as truth or are your more skeptical? What does this tell you about your heart? Who are you more like - your earthly father or your Heavenly Father?

Looking Above - Episode 3 This week we'll take a look at John chapter 5 and 6. We see Jesus as the Son of God, clearly claiming to be the Messiah and giving proof of why He can make this claim. He heals a man at the pool of Bethesda, feeds the 5,000, and walks on water. He also explains how He is the bread of life, and that feasting on Him leads to everlasting life. The more we know Jesus, the more we abide in Him, the more we can experience the abundant life He offers. Discuss these chapters with a friend or your small group: Contrast how we live differently if we want to be healed versus if we do not want to be healed (physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually). Share some examples of what faith in action looks like. What does God ask of us, and how do we show forth our faith by our actions? Jesus believed that the Sabbath was to be used for doing good - to be a blessing to others. Brainstorm what this might look like today. You can know the Scriptures without knowing Jesus. How do you get to know Jesus better? Whose glory/esteem matters more to you? How do you seek the esteem of people? How can you begin to change your heart so that you focus more on seeking the esteem of God? Are you more like Philip or Andrew? How so? The little boy offered his loaves and fish, what do you have to offer God? In your wildest dreams, what might God be able to accomplish thru you? Are you currently in a "storm"? How might letting Jesus in the boat change your view of that storm? (ch 6, vs 27) Are you focus on perishable things, or do you spend your energy seeking eternal life? What is one practical step you can take this week to "look above"? How do you abide in Christ? How do you feast upon Him? Can you tell a difference in your life between the seasons where you were abiding, and those in which you drifted and focused on the things around you?

Join Karen as we take a deeper look at John chapters 3 & 4. We'll consider Jesus' interactions with Nicodemus and the Woman at the well. If you're meeting with a group for discussion, here are some questions to guide you: Do you know anyone who has an uncanny way of looking beyond your words and seeing your heart or your underlying pain/issues? Talk about what it is like to interact with that person. / Have you ever gone through a season where you avoided church/God? As you look back at that season, do you think there could have been a sin issue in your life that caused you to stay in the darkness? Discuss John the Baptist's attitude in John 3:27-30. How could you work towards having a similar attitude? Is your response to Christ belief (obedience) or disbelief (disobedience)? Have you thought about the correlation between belief and obedience before? Discuss the interaction between Jesus and the Woman at the well. If Jesus called you out, like He did her (John 3:16-18), how would you respond? How do you attempt to satisfy your soul's thirst apart from God? Share your testimony with your group. How did Jesus change your life? Do your words and actions cause others to want to know Jesus? Talk about someone you know who causes you to want to know Jesus more. Do you take Jesus at His word and live in faith?

For this episode, we dig into the first two chapters of the Book of John. One of the best ways we can fix our eyes on Jesus is to know him more, and the book of John is a great place to learn more about who He is and how He lived. We'll explore Jesus as Word, light, lamb as well as the extravagant grace displayed in His first miracle. Some questions for further thought/ discussion: What are some false or partial lights in our society? How can you tell the difference between light that comes from Christ and the false light of the world? Speak into the life of another regarding the potential you see in them. What do you believe is your purpose? Tell a story about God's extravagant grace in your life. Do you take time away to refresh your mind/body/spirit? What does that look like? How would Christ respond to your care/use of (your body) His dwelling place? Does your life confirm the belief you profess? How?