The Bar Is Low

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Life is pain, but when you're on a search for the worst, even more so. Laugh and cry with me as we cover a great many fanfictions that will probably ruin your childhood, favorite TV shows, movies, and other things you hold dear. Every episode we take a look at fanfiction or a collection fanfictions -- and these can be either good, bad, or in between, but mostly... they're bad. You can find me online on Instagram (@the_bar_is_low), Tumblr (@wenchicus-thoticus), and Archive of Our Own (WenchicusThoticus). Suggestions welcome. Disclaimer: This podcast is solely for entertainment; I mean no personal offense to the authors I cover.

Wenchicus Thoticus


    • Mar 6, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 6892h 30m AVG DURATION
    • 144 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Bar Is Low

    FINAL EP 134 Most Impactful Fics + A Retrospective on The Bar Is Low

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2022 52:58


    I've been dragging this out, unwilling to shut the door on the show for good. But it's finally time – my fanfiction journey is ending. Here, I recount the many places that journey has taken me, ranking the most impactful fics and authors I've covered on the show based on the damage they've done to my psyche, and I reflect on The Bar Is Low as a whole.0:00 Intro + Ranking Scales2:50 Non-Avatar Fics (Disney, RPF, Other)15:50 Avatar Fics43:49 Why I'm Leaving

    EP 133 Listener Contest Results

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2022 29:21


    I challenged my listeners to write the worst fanfiction imaginable. They delivered.

    EP 132 Dixar: The Battle of Weeping Tip (And Other Such Tales) [Ratatouille]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2022 21:00


    I am briefly emerging to give you a normal episode – a report on the state of Ratatouille erotica. Join me today for, among other things, the quickest way to get someone to leave a room, outrageous and regretful penises, food kinks (obviously), a surprising amount of murder and cannibalism, and the Battle of Weeping Tip.

    EP 131 The Internet Is Terrifying [Various]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2021 44:09


    Before I had TBIL, I had a document called “the internet is terrifying” where I dumped all my bad fanfiction quotes. Today, I rediscover its horrors. The listener contest is still happening, the AO3 collection and guidelines are available here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TBIL_Contest

    EP 130 Space Catholic Empire [Hyperion Cantos]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2021 63:48


    Space Catholics, their Space Catholic Empire, and also some Space Buddhists.

    EP 129 A Very Unlucky Space Catholic (And Other Such Tales) [Hyperion Cantos]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2021 69:03


    Today, I'm bringing you a straight up book review. Gather ‘round, monsterfuckers. I am about to introduce you to The Shrike.

    Announcing: TBIL Listener Contest

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2021 2:45


    Do you have what it takes to help me on my search for the worst? Submit a terrible fanfiction of your very own creation, and get the chance to be crowned the champion of sin and degeneracy.https://wenchicus-thoticus.tumblr.com/post/652646062255931392/the-bar-is-low-listener-contesthttps://wenchicus-thoticus.tumblr.com/post/652646062255931392/the-bar-is-low-listener-contest

    EP 128 The Sim(p)s 4: Generations of Chaos

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2021 40:06


    A comprehensive guide to my Sims lore. Among other things, there's drama, romance, violence, murder, a kid named Hemophilia, a gang of angry strippers with knives, Azula's Labyrinth of Hell, a brothel of Ozai clones (aka Ben Shapiro's personal hell), and so much more. This is the last episode of TBIL that will be released on a schedule; any future updates will be sporadic.

    EP 127 Wenchicus Thoticus DESTROYS Ben Shapiro with FACTS and LOGIC

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2021 26:40


    Not a fanfiction, but this is my podcast I can do whatever I want. And what I want to do is roast Ben Shapiro's book where he whines about how children aren't people and that porn will turn you into a serial killer. Supplementary content includes my essay on porn addiction: (https://archiveofourown.org/works/20236204/chapters/75108711).

    EP 126 Fun For The Family, Round 13: After All This Time, I'm Still A Degenerate [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2021 65:18


    Oh boy, a lot has happened since I last did an A:TLA Fun For The Whole Family Episode. And after all this time… I have to admit, it's good to be back, because the incest shippers in this fandom never fail me. Join me today for, among other things, a sex battle for Azula's affection, OZAI *clap* GETTING *clap* DOMMED *clap*, a terrible misunderstanding of a certain surgery, reverse penis firebending, Zuko and Azula roleplaying as their parents in bed, and a fic that just keeps finding new ways to get more fucked up -- culminating in a dick-chopping gangrape execution.

    SPECIAL EP 125 Tales From My Career

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2021 26:15


    In three years as a podcaster and even more than that as a fanfic writer, I've had a few weird things happen to me. In a different sort of episode, here's where I talk about them.

    EP 124 Long-Lost Fuckbuddies [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2021 32:56


    Sorry not sorry to bring you more Hakozai, but this fic really quenched my thirst. Salted my melon. Moistened my scrungo. In a proper review, we explore the importance of structure, the difficulties of writing a redemption arc, and the dynamic between my two favorite dilves.

    EP 123 Dixar: Thank You Scratfucker69 (And Other Such Tales) [Ice Age]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2021 22:29


    Ice Age is neither a Disney nor a Pixar production, but it belongs on this series. Join me today, for, among other things, reverse cum eating, slothfucking, Scrat finally getting that acorn, and a lesson on the correlation between ball size and sluttiness (seriously). Sorry about the poor audio quality, I had a little recording malfunction and it should be back to normal next episode.

    EP 122 Homemade Fleshlights (And Other Such Tales) [Metalocalypse]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2021 31:03


    The Metalocalypse fandom is still alive! Join me today, for, among other things, instructions on making your very own fleshlight from simple household items, an OC who needs to be less interesting, an ass-stretching appliance, and Magnus really needing to go to therapy Jesus fuck dude.

    EP 121 Rarepairs 5 [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2021 33:20


    I'm reviving the rarepairs series! Join me today for, among other things, Zuko's Onlyfans account, a happy and insanity-free ending for Azula, enemies with benefits, me and the homies giving way too much depth to characters who were in a total of like three episodes, and Ozai opting to play 4-D chess instead of just admitting that he's a bottom.

    EP 120 Ancap Fucks Your Cremated Ashes (And Other Such Tales) [Jreg: Centricide]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2020 42:28


    Today we dive into fanfiction for Jreg's Centricide webseries. Join me for, among other things, Ancap fucking your cremated ashes, the rich being eaten (literally), jregnancy, the sentient manifestation of communism pounding some gay tankie ass, and Nazi paying Ancap to have unfulfilling missionary-style sex with him while wearing a dress. Wait, those are all basically the names of today's fics. These people really like putting their summaries in their titles, huh?

    EP 119 Dixar: Wormcock (And Other Such Tales) [The Nightmare Before Christmas]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2020 861258:04


    Somehow I always forget that this counts as a Disney movie. Join me today for, among other things, skelpreg, wormcock, pussy juice being misinterpreted as a leak in the roof, and a surprisingly good analysis of Sally's design and relationship with the doctor.

    EP 118 Wenchicus Thoticus Plays The Four Elements Trainer (Book 4 Continued) [LOK]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2020 913338:43


    Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? Join me today for, among other things, a dripping fountain, Korra getting turned on by her own body, and the worst disguise ever that somehow works. Fucked up o meter rating: 9/10 for my gross abuse of authority.

    EP 117 Wenchicus Thoticus Plays The Four Elements Trainer (Book 4 Continued) [LOK]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2020 1047594:09


    Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? Join me today for, among other things, Equalist nipple play, having to take the Stroop Test when I just wanna jerk off, and Lin for some reason assuming that I can feel shame. Fucked up o meter rating: 7/10 for some sexual content and Tenzin generally being a perverted asshole.

    EP 116 Fun For The Whole Family, Round 12: Sometimes Censorship Is Good [Star Wars Original Trilogy]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2020 1138651:18


    Join me on my quest to ban freedom of speech for people who write Luke/Darth Vader mpreg porn.

    EP 115 An Ocean of Breasts (And Other Such Tales) [Super Mario]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2020 1035208:12


    Join me today for a dive into the Super Mario fandom to meet a sampling of its many kinky residents. We discuss, among other things, four-tittied dolphins, milk aquariums, extendable penises, that they/them booty, King Boo thirst, unironic Waluigi porn, and the canonical kinkiness of Bowser's Inside Story.

    EP 114 Dixar: Magically Regenerating Hymen (And Other Such Tales) [Tangled]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2020 1270616:35


    Rapunzel gets the Dixar treatment. Join me today for, among other things, theories of her magically regenerating hymen, how much cum could get in her hair before it started to smell really bad, and what sort of sex ed Mother Gothel was teaching up in that tower. Anna and Elsa also make a special guest appearance at the end to frolic in showers of Corona cum.

    EP 113 The Grueling Shackles of Mankind [Right-Wing Public Figures]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2020 1106320:23


    People are simping for Elon Musk, Ben Shapiro, and other right-wing nutjobs. And that's what we're talking about today.

    EP 112 The Soccer Mom AU [LOK]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2020 1214579:53


    Today we talk about the enemies to lovers speedrun that is the Korvira (Korra/Kuvira) Soccer Mom AU. I don't know why this exists, but you know what, I'm glad it does.

    EP 111 Into The Crocverse [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2020 1005750:06


    Even after all the dark AUs and disturbing porn I've read, the ATLA crocverse is what most offends my sensibilities. It's pretty much what it sounds like: a modern AU where the characters wear crocs. God help me.

    EP 110 Pokephilia Round Six [Pokemon]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2020 1176326:39


    Today's theme: Pokemon you wouldn't think that people find sexy, but I guess they do anyway. Join me today for fridge sex, a 70 BPM handjob, egg communism, ghost juice, the strangely wholesome romance between a woman and a mantis, and the biggest dick on The Bar Is Low (by far… and that's saying something).

    EP 109 Pokephilia Round Five [Pokemon]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2020 1022847:50


    I cover erotic Pokemon fanfiction by the same author who said the phrase “using her large naked breasts to engulf a familiar massive rod” in episode 78. I really don't know how else to sell you.

    EP 108 Pussy or Die (And Other Such Tales) [Spongebob]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2020 913572:52


    Spongebob porn. I feel no need to elaborate here.

    EP 107 Welcome to the Whorehouse [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2020 984307:32


    Ever consider what could've happened if Zuko had grown up in a brothel? Wonder no longer.

    EP 106 Fun For The Whole Family, Round 11: Kyle Ron Needs Therapy [Star Wars Sequel Trilogy]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2020 956159:50


    I cannot possibly bring myself to end my darling series, so we are going to expand it into different fandoms. Today: Star Wars! Join me today for a very small galaxy, necromancy, sex pollen, potent ball treasure, and Kylo Ren getting redeemed by having force ghost sex with his dead relatives.

    EP 105 Dixar: A Special Boy (And Other Such Tales) [Emperor's New Groove, Star Wars]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2020 20:56


    There wasn't that much content for Emperor's Groove, but join me today for, among other things, tree trunk fingers, Emperor Palpatine's new groove, magic potion as lube, and the chance to get elbow deep in llama anus.

    EP 104 Dixar: The Dick That Sucks Back (And Other Such Tales) [Beauty and the Beast]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2020 35:28


    No one fucks like Gaston, no one sucks like Gaston, no one sees Beast fuck Belle and gets cucked like Gaston! The Dixar series continues with Beauty and the Beast.

    EP 103 Cummunism (ft. Ghost on the Ohio) [Historical/Political Figures]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2020 110:49


    With the help of a very special guest, we delve into the pornographic depictions of various world leaders, especially the communist ones. Join us today for a surprising amount of historical information, including, among other things, how the Russian people voted for revolution, what puddle of bodily fluid Stalin died in, and Leon Trotsky's pimp train (not a penis). And of course, such ahistorical content as a communist coffee shop AU, Stalin jerking off tourists in Taiwan, the crime of passion resulting in the death of British Prime Minister Clement Attlee, and the origin story of the Cold War. Today's episode art courtesy of Comrade Sophie. Visit her new YouTube channel Ghost on The Ohio (link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdDcFGvZK3tn0_HvAoXnjbQ) and her parody blog @stalin-in-hell on Tumblr. Sophie: Historical background on Leon Trotsky, the Russian Revolution, and Stalinism vs. Trotskyism (1:22)Sophie's pick: Fifty Shades of Red by sheepsheepba (21:21)Wenchicus Thoticus's pick: Stalin and Truman: A Love Beyond the Cold War by moderncorg (52:23)Bonus song: “Joseph Stalin Was A Bottom” (link:https://wenchicusthoticusthebarislow.bandcamp.com/track/bonus-song-joseph-stalin-was-a-bottom )

    EP 102 Word Choice In Erotica: Survey Results

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2020 11:15


    What words do people like to see used in smut? And what might those words have in common? Here are the results of a survey I conducted. This episode is also available in written format as Chapter 3 of “Essays From The Bar Is Low” on AO3 (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20236204/chapters/55942687). I'd recommend having a look at the essay because it contains graphics and the full set of data.

    Secret Tunnel (Black Metal Cover)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2020 1:50


    We'll be ending hiatus early and coming back next week. In the meantime, here's this black metal cover of the Secret Tunnel song from ATLA I recorded.

    SPECIAL Two Year Anniversary EP 101 The Self-Roast: Erotic Fanfiction Edition [LOK, A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2020 45:48


    Back in episode 51, I outlined some rules that one could follow to write better erotica. Boy did I not follow them in my own fanfiction, and for that, I deserve to be roasted. Join me today for, among other things, the sluice gates of yonder, the question of where one can obtain cock cages in the Avatar universe, that time I deadass wrote tentacle porn, Ozai getting fucking dommed, and a pussy that tastes like fire, aggression, and the righteous battle to see the world in flames. Last episode before hiatus. I plan to come back on May 24.

    SPECIAL EP 100 My Immortal [Harry Potter]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2020 34:12


    The myth. The legend. My Immortal. I know it's been done to death, but it's episode 100, dammit! Here's my take on this masterpiece.

    SPECIAL EP 99 Religious Erotica [The Bible - New Testament]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2020 34:32


    Jesus fucking Christ! It's episode 99, so I thought I'd do something a little special. Today we discuss, among other things, bringing a whole new meaning to being tempted by Satan, a couple who hired a guy to play Jesus in their engagement photoshoot, a Bible omegaverse AU, and the classic tale of romance between Jesus and Hitler (seriously, what the fuck). If you listen to this episode, you're going to hell, in more ways than one.

    EP 98 The Porn Logic Is Strong With This One [Star Wars Original & Sequel Trilogies]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2020 35:15


    Today we take a look at some miscellaneous Star Wars smut. Get ready for, among other things, a dick hatch, crying nipples, seduction to the dark side (literally), fun for the whole family Skywalker edition, BB-8 considering an exercise ball to be a sexual rival, and porn logic for DAYS.

    EP 97 Dixar: The Evil Potential of Mermaids (And Other Such Tales) [Megamind]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2020 27:56


    Though Megamind is not a Disney/Pixar film, it still belongs on the Dixar series. Join me today for, among other things, the evil potential of mermaids, spine sex, a fic that goes on tangents within tangents, Swahili kissing, fiercely spraying tittymilk, and Hal abandoning his incel-hood in a manner most galaxy-brain.

    EP 96 Fun For The Whole Family, Round Ten: 211 Daddies [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2020 56:48


    In possibly the final fun for the whole family episode, we do something a little different and take a look at just a single fic -- one with over 200 usages of the word “daddy” and counting. Despite its near-relentless depravity, I tried to give it a fair shake and evaluate it for what it was trying to be -- an ugly story of abuse, powerlessness, and kinkiness. (Sorry about the background noises at the end. That was TBIL's most frequent guest star, my cat.)

    EP 95 A Sample Platter of Clownfuckers [IT]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2020 23:47


    Today, we talk about the clownfuckers in the IT fandom. Join me today for, among other things, clownpreg, Pennywise making dad jokes, a transgender cannibal self-insert, ass juice that tastes like cotton candy, and a thermometer up the urethra.

    EP 94 Dixar: The Joys of Ginger (And Other Such Tales) [Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2020 17:40


    Today, I put binder clips on my nipples for the purpose of fact-checking an erotic Cinderella fanfiction.

    EP 93 Wenchicus Thoticus Plays The Four Elements Trainer (Book 4) [LOK]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2020 49:49


    Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? I skip ahead into the time of Korra on a quest to fuck milfs and teenagers alike. Fucked up o meter rating: 6/10 for a lil bit of sexual content, references to other more obscene episodes, and Tenzin acting a horny thot.

    I'm Conducting a Survey

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2020 1:32


    I'm conducting a survey about word choice in erotica. You can take it here: https://forms.gle/dbv9HbpVaf4zPKHv8

    EP 92 Wenchicus Thoticus Plays The Four Elements Trainer (Book 2 Ending) [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2019 47:07


    Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? This time, I made (comparatively) good choices for once. But naughty things certainly did happen...

    Hiatus Announcement

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2019 1:05


    After episode 101 on March 1, I will be on hiatus until May 24. Plan is subject to change.

    EP 91 Dixar: Breast Augmentation Music (And Other Such Tales) [Frozen]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2019 956157:47


    With the holiday season upon us and the Frozen sequel out, it's time to continue the Dixar series. Join me today for breast augmentation music, triplet-cest, Olaf dual-wielding his nose and a snowman dick, a kind author filling in the blank about how Kristoff and Sven were prior to the events of the movie, and an icicle dildo made out of pussy juice.

    EP 90 A Worm at Heart (And Other Such Tales) [Star Wars Prequel Trilogy]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2019 1045079:33


    We talk about crack pairings and other ridiculous fic about the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Join me today for Bugplanation, ear boners, Palpatine's strip club, a Padme and Jar Jar Binks role swap (yes, including the romance with Anakin), and an AU where Darth Vader is a cow. Narration-heavy episode.

    EP 89 Courage The Vore Fetish Drag Queen (And Other Such Tales) [The Giving Tree, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Courage the Cowardly Dog]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2019 772304:54


    In a requests-themed episode, we discuss a tree dick, sex so satisfying that you literally fucking die afterwards, an It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia petplay fanfiction, urethra vore, the return of brain fetish guy, and In The Hall of The Mountain King playing while a woman's immune system attempts to kill Courage the cowardly dog.

    EP 88 Wenchicus Thoticus Plays The Four Elements Trainer (Book 2 Continued: Ember Island) [A:TLA]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2019 1965557:25


    Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? Fucked up o meter rating: 10/10 for my terrible life choices to anally fuck my sister while my girlfriend sleeps directly underneath our brazen display of depravity.

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