The Bar Is Low

I've been dragging this out, unwilling to shut the door on the show for good. But it's finally time – my fanfiction journey is ending. Here, I recount the many places that journey has taken me, ranking the most impactful fics and authors I've covered on the show based on the damage they've done to my psyche, and I reflect on The Bar Is Low as a whole.0:00 Intro + Ranking Scales2:50 Non-Avatar Fics (Disney, RPF, Other)15:50 Avatar Fics43:49 Why I'm Leaving

I challenged my listeners to write the worst fanfiction imaginable. They delivered.

I am briefly emerging to give you a normal episode – a report on the state of Ratatouille erotica. Join me today for, among other things, the quickest way to get someone to leave a room, outrageous and regretful penises, food kinks (obviously), a surprising amount of murder and cannibalism, and the Battle of Weeping Tip.

Before I had TBIL, I had a document called “the internet is terrifying” where I dumped all my bad fanfiction quotes. Today, I rediscover its horrors. The listener contest is still happening, the AO3 collection and guidelines are available here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TBIL_Contest

Space Catholics, their Space Catholic Empire, and also some Space Buddhists.

Today, I'm bringing you a straight up book review. Gather ‘round, monsterfuckers. I am about to introduce you to The Shrike.

Do you have what it takes to help me on my search for the worst? Submit a terrible fanfiction of your very own creation, and get the chance to be crowned the champion of sin and degeneracy.https://wenchicus-thoticus.tumblr.com/post/652646062255931392/the-bar-is-low-listener-contesthttps://wenchicus-thoticus.tumblr.com/post/652646062255931392/the-bar-is-low-listener-contest

A comprehensive guide to my Sims lore. Among other things, there's drama, romance, violence, murder, a kid named Hemophilia, a gang of angry strippers with knives, Azula's Labyrinth of Hell, a brothel of Ozai clones (aka Ben Shapiro's personal hell), and so much more. This is the last episode of TBIL that will be released on a schedule; any future updates will be sporadic.

Not a fanfiction, but this is my podcast I can do whatever I want. And what I want to do is roast Ben Shapiro's book where he whines about how children aren't people and that porn will turn you into a serial killer. Supplementary content includes my essay on porn addiction: (https://archiveofourown.org/works/20236204/chapters/75108711).

Oh boy, a lot has happened since I last did an A:TLA Fun For The Whole Family Episode. And after all this time… I have to admit, it's good to be back, because the incest shippers in this fandom never fail me. Join me today for, among other things, a sex battle for Azula's affection, OZAI *clap* GETTING *clap* DOMMED *clap*, a terrible misunderstanding of a certain surgery, reverse penis firebending, Zuko and Azula roleplaying as their parents in bed, and a fic that just keeps finding new ways to get more fucked up -- culminating in a dick-chopping gangrape execution.

In three years as a podcaster and even more than that as a fanfic writer, I've had a few weird things happen to me. In a different sort of episode, here's where I talk about them.

Sorry not sorry to bring you more Hakozai, but this fic really quenched my thirst. Salted my melon. Moistened my scrungo. In a proper review, we explore the importance of structure, the difficulties of writing a redemption arc, and the dynamic between my two favorite dilves.

Ice Age is neither a Disney nor a Pixar production, but it belongs on this series. Join me today, for, among other things, reverse cum eating, slothfucking, Scrat finally getting that acorn, and a lesson on the correlation between ball size and sluttiness (seriously). Sorry about the poor audio quality, I had a little recording malfunction and it should be back to normal next episode.

The Metalocalypse fandom is still alive! Join me today, for, among other things, instructions on making your very own fleshlight from simple household items, an OC who needs to be less interesting, an ass-stretching appliance, and Magnus really needing to go to therapy Jesus fuck dude.

I'm reviving the rarepairs series! Join me today for, among other things, Zuko's Onlyfans account, a happy and insanity-free ending for Azula, enemies with benefits, me and the homies giving way too much depth to characters who were in a total of like three episodes, and Ozai opting to play 4-D chess instead of just admitting that he's a bottom.

Today we dive into fanfiction for Jreg's Centricide webseries. Join me for, among other things, Ancap fucking your cremated ashes, the rich being eaten (literally), jregnancy, the sentient manifestation of communism pounding some gay tankie ass, and Nazi paying Ancap to have unfulfilling missionary-style sex with him while wearing a dress. Wait, those are all basically the names of today's fics. These people really like putting their summaries in their titles, huh?

Somehow I always forget that this counts as a Disney movie. Join me today for, among other things, skelpreg, wormcock, pussy juice being misinterpreted as a leak in the roof, and a surprisingly good analysis of Sally's design and relationship with the doctor.

Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? Join me today for, among other things, a dripping fountain, Korra getting turned on by her own body, and the worst disguise ever that somehow works. Fucked up o meter rating: 9/10 for my gross abuse of authority.

Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? Join me today for, among other things, Equalist nipple play, having to take the Stroop Test when I just wanna jerk off, and Lin for some reason assuming that I can feel shame. Fucked up o meter rating: 7/10 for some sexual content and Tenzin generally being a perverted asshole.

Join me on my quest to ban freedom of speech for people who write Luke/Darth Vader mpreg porn.

Join me today for a dive into the Super Mario fandom to meet a sampling of its many kinky residents. We discuss, among other things, four-tittied dolphins, milk aquariums, extendable penises, that they/them booty, King Boo thirst, unironic Waluigi porn, and the canonical kinkiness of Bowser's Inside Story.

Rapunzel gets the Dixar treatment. Join me today for, among other things, theories of her magically regenerating hymen, how much cum could get in her hair before it started to smell really bad, and what sort of sex ed Mother Gothel was teaching up in that tower. Anna and Elsa also make a special guest appearance at the end to frolic in showers of Corona cum.

People are simping for Elon Musk, Ben Shapiro, and other right-wing nutjobs. And that's what we're talking about today.

Today we talk about the enemies to lovers speedrun that is the Korvira (Korra/Kuvira) Soccer Mom AU. I don't know why this exists, but you know what, I'm glad it does.

Even after all the dark AUs and disturbing porn I've read, the ATLA crocverse is what most offends my sensibilities. It's pretty much what it sounds like: a modern AU where the characters wear crocs. God help me.

Today's theme: Pokemon you wouldn't think that people find sexy, but I guess they do anyway. Join me today for fridge sex, a 70 BPM handjob, egg communism, ghost juice, the strangely wholesome romance between a woman and a mantis, and the biggest dick on The Bar Is Low (by far… and that's saying something).

I cover erotic Pokemon fanfiction by the same author who said the phrase “using her large naked breasts to engulf a familiar massive rod” in episode 78. I really don't know how else to sell you.

Spongebob porn. I feel no need to elaborate here.

Ever consider what could've happened if Zuko had grown up in a brothel? Wonder no longer.

I cannot possibly bring myself to end my darling series, so we are going to expand it into different fandoms. Today: Star Wars! Join me today for a very small galaxy, necromancy, sex pollen, potent ball treasure, and Kylo Ren getting redeemed by having force ghost sex with his dead relatives.

There wasn't that much content for Emperor's Groove, but join me today for, among other things, tree trunk fingers, Emperor Palpatine's new groove, magic potion as lube, and the chance to get elbow deep in llama anus.

No one fucks like Gaston, no one sucks like Gaston, no one sees Beast fuck Belle and gets cucked like Gaston! The Dixar series continues with Beauty and the Beast.

With the help of a very special guest, we delve into the pornographic depictions of various world leaders, especially the communist ones. Join us today for a surprising amount of historical information, including, among other things, how the Russian people voted for revolution, what puddle of bodily fluid Stalin died in, and Leon Trotsky's pimp train (not a penis). And of course, such ahistorical content as a communist coffee shop AU, Stalin jerking off tourists in Taiwan, the crime of passion resulting in the death of British Prime Minister Clement Attlee, and the origin story of the Cold War. Today's episode art courtesy of Comrade Sophie. Visit her new YouTube channel Ghost on The Ohio (link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdDcFGvZK3tn0_HvAoXnjbQ) and her parody blog @stalin-in-hell on Tumblr. Sophie: Historical background on Leon Trotsky, the Russian Revolution, and Stalinism vs. Trotskyism (1:22)Sophie's pick: Fifty Shades of Red by sheepsheepba (21:21)Wenchicus Thoticus's pick: Stalin and Truman: A Love Beyond the Cold War by moderncorg (52:23)Bonus song: “Joseph Stalin Was A Bottom” (link:https://wenchicusthoticusthebarislow.bandcamp.com/track/bonus-song-joseph-stalin-was-a-bottom )

What words do people like to see used in smut? And what might those words have in common? Here are the results of a survey I conducted. This episode is also available in written format as Chapter 3 of “Essays From The Bar Is Low” on AO3 (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20236204/chapters/55942687). I'd recommend having a look at the essay because it contains graphics and the full set of data.

We'll be ending hiatus early and coming back next week. In the meantime, here's this black metal cover of the Secret Tunnel song from ATLA I recorded.

Back in episode 51, I outlined some rules that one could follow to write better erotica. Boy did I not follow them in my own fanfiction, and for that, I deserve to be roasted. Join me today for, among other things, the sluice gates of yonder, the question of where one can obtain cock cages in the Avatar universe, that time I deadass wrote tentacle porn, Ozai getting fucking dommed, and a pussy that tastes like fire, aggression, and the righteous battle to see the world in flames. Last episode before hiatus. I plan to come back on May 24.

The myth. The legend. My Immortal. I know it's been done to death, but it's episode 100, dammit! Here's my take on this masterpiece.

Jesus fucking Christ! It's episode 99, so I thought I'd do something a little special. Today we discuss, among other things, bringing a whole new meaning to being tempted by Satan, a couple who hired a guy to play Jesus in their engagement photoshoot, a Bible omegaverse AU, and the classic tale of romance between Jesus and Hitler (seriously, what the fuck). If you listen to this episode, you're going to hell, in more ways than one.

Today we take a look at some miscellaneous Star Wars smut. Get ready for, among other things, a dick hatch, crying nipples, seduction to the dark side (literally), fun for the whole family Skywalker edition, BB-8 considering an exercise ball to be a sexual rival, and porn logic for DAYS.

Though Megamind is not a Disney/Pixar film, it still belongs on the Dixar series. Join me today for, among other things, the evil potential of mermaids, spine sex, a fic that goes on tangents within tangents, Swahili kissing, fiercely spraying tittymilk, and Hal abandoning his incel-hood in a manner most galaxy-brain.

In possibly the final fun for the whole family episode, we do something a little different and take a look at just a single fic -- one with over 200 usages of the word “daddy” and counting. Despite its near-relentless depravity, I tried to give it a fair shake and evaluate it for what it was trying to be -- an ugly story of abuse, powerlessness, and kinkiness. (Sorry about the background noises at the end. That was TBIL's most frequent guest star, my cat.)

Today, we talk about the clownfuckers in the IT fandom. Join me today for, among other things, clownpreg, Pennywise making dad jokes, a transgender cannibal self-insert, ass juice that tastes like cotton candy, and a thermometer up the urethra.

Today, I put binder clips on my nipples for the purpose of fact-checking an erotic Cinderella fanfiction.

Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? I skip ahead into the time of Korra on a quest to fuck milfs and teenagers alike. Fucked up o meter rating: 6/10 for a lil bit of sexual content, references to other more obscene episodes, and Tenzin acting a horny thot.

I'm conducting a survey about word choice in erotica. You can take it here: https://forms.gle/dbv9HbpVaf4zPKHv8

Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? This time, I made (comparatively) good choices for once. But naughty things certainly did happen...

After episode 101 on March 1, I will be on hiatus until May 24. Plan is subject to change.

With the holiday season upon us and the Frozen sequel out, it's time to continue the Dixar series. Join me today for breast augmentation music, triplet-cest, Olaf dual-wielding his nose and a snowman dick, a kind author filling in the blank about how Kristoff and Sven were prior to the events of the movie, and an icicle dildo made out of pussy juice.

We talk about crack pairings and other ridiculous fic about the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Join me today for Bugplanation, ear boners, Palpatine's strip club, a Padme and Jar Jar Binks role swap (yes, including the romance with Anakin), and an AU where Darth Vader is a cow. Narration-heavy episode.

In a requests-themed episode, we discuss a tree dick, sex so satisfying that you literally fucking die afterwards, an It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia petplay fanfiction, urethra vore, the return of brain fetish guy, and In The Hall of The Mountain King playing while a woman's immune system attempts to kill Courage the cowardly dog.

Once I discovered that there was an Avatar-themed hentai game, what else could I do but download it and play it on The Bar Is Low? Fucked up o meter rating: 10/10 for my terrible life choices to anally fuck my sister while my girlfriend sleeps directly underneath our brazen display of depravity.